Anyway, I'm going to try to keep this one on site topic. I will say that my new Xmas DVDs rock the house, even if it is odd that me and my dad both wanted Back to the Future and The Producers.

Anyway, back to stuff I've noticed...I've been searching for Trio-centric stuff again with no luck.

It puzzles me why my guestbook is full of so much praise when this is another one of my "I know HTML, but I can't design a web page to save my ass pages." The "information" is all my opinions, and while I think I'm funny as hell, the fic isn't quite what I wanted to read when I set out(I--and possibly the other m/m lovers out there--long for the day when I can write something nice and smutty without making a joke about the Clinton administration)

Then I actually look for other web pages...

If you'll notice, my links section is very, very sad. Sure, there are some good sites there...I've just read everything on them already.

I think the link to two coloring book pictures of the Amazon Trio really sums it up.

Sure, the search turns up lots of stuff, mostly information about the DVDs or the snippets from general sites.

Which brings me to the reason for this hunk of verbiage--the leader of the Amazon Trio. I've seen Fish-Eye and Hawk's-Eye as the leader a lot of times, and I've seen Tiger's-Eye at least once.

I'd say Zirconia, since I never got the impression that the Amazon Trio had a leader within themselves. Mostly because none of them listen to each other and the sass mouth is usually face to face.

Besides, the Amazon Trio in and of themselves aren't really an organization. They're three guys who sit around in a bar, drink, and go hit on most of Tokyo. None of this really requires an actual leader...

I also don't remember any canon--manga or anime--where anyone refers to the Amazon Trio as more than equals. Sure, I doubt the mixxzine translation a bit, but as a group, the Amazon Trio essentially says that being human is swell and things about being artists, having years of wisdom, and fighting totally hard. And in the anime...they sit in a bar and hit on most of Tokyo.

What, me, talking about canon? Hey, I've been good with Sailor Moon canon couples. You're welcome to shoot me if I ever make a "Serena and Seiya 4EVA!!!!" page(screw welcome--please shoot me if I ever reach that point...) Sure, I did that whole "rocketshipping might as well be canon" thing, but I've learned. I really have.(Fish-Eye isn't the only blue haired anime drag queen who plans to fight, fight, fight totally hard)

Besides, canon is for things like leaders. Relationships are much more interesting when they aren't destined and don't involve future daughters(I know, I know, but I swear I've learned...)

Meanwhile, elsewhere I saw a discussion of mpreg stories. Like a dumbass, I spent at least ten minutes trying to figure out what it meant. Then it slowly occured to me...

I'd completely forgotten that those things existed...sure, I've been toying around with a fic where femme Fish-Eye gets knocked up, but it'll never be finished because I can't really think of anything to do with it. There's not enough time for Fish to come to term and even I don't think abortion and fetal alcohol syndrome is funny....

Oh, did I mention yet that I'm only contemplating writing with female Fish-Eye because I can't stand seeing her outside of the dub? This probably goes against at least half of what I've said about being fine with the dub, but dub genders make me want to shudder(well, except Zirconia because, as I've said before, giving Zirconia a gender just makes Zirconia too close to being a sexual being...)

Will I continue to use dub names? Well, yeah...while I'm well aware that these cartoon girls have original names, the dub names are their names to me.

Will I continue to write Amara and Michelle as incestuous cousins? You bet your ass I will. That's comedy gold!

If the Starlights are ever dubbed in some bizarre, identical sisters way, will I write them like that? Not necessarily, but identical twin sisters will be mentioned as much as humanly possible.

So, I'll take pretty much anything the dub'll throw at me, but no female Fish-Eye.

Female Zoicite doesn't bother me as much. Okay, admittedly, I'm not too interested in the Dark Kingdom and anything about Zoicite and Malachite or Zoicite and Kunzite tends to involve way too much angst for me.

I also thought Zoicite was a girl for awhile...(see the reasons why dubbing Zoicite female worked so much better than dubbing Fish-Eye female)

Actually, I've found that female gay villains in fan fic wind up tragically dead(canon and noncanon) or pregnant. There's far too much of that kind of angst with characters who are all girls, all the time...

Female Fish-Eye also seems destined to either wind up with Hawk's-Eye or Marty Stu.

(As you've probably figured out, I got no problems with Hawk's-Eye/Fish-Eye.)

Well, maybe Marty Stu isn't the word since some of these might have been written by female authors...regardless, femme Fish-Eye has a thing about falling madly in love with original characters.

I know, I know...let s/he who is without original characters cast the first stone...but Fish-Eye(femme or homme)tells Darien that it's the first time s/he felt love with his/her heart.

I'm not too keen on female Fish-Eye cavorting with Darien outside of TVland, but regardless of gender, Fish has a day--tops--after figuring out the beauty of truth and love to find said original character before he dies. And since Fish-Eye spends most of this time moping over Darien not liking him/her and moping over not being human, that doesn't really open up the romance possibilities...

I'm treading that fine line between pondering and bitch on this, but, well, suck it. You can start your own page about how I'm completely wrong.(I'll link to it anyway, just because it will be a page about the Amazon Trio and because I am that damn vain)

And screw the line between pondering and bitch. I'd like to take a moment here to ask why I've seen a few Hawk's-Eye/Lita fics(keep in mind of course that this is obscure DMC fandom I'm referring to, so I could just be complaining about one thing I've stumbled across several times. I know that here there's at least two of these...) Sure, Sailor Jupiter rocks the house. Hawk's-Eye rocks the house as well. But why the hell are they finding true love? As much as I dislike the senshi love thing, at least Tiger's-Eye and Lita would make some kind of sense...

Back to good old femme Fish-Eye, I think this one really annoys me because I can't seem to believe that Fish-Eye could possibly be female while watching the dub. Yeah, Fish's lower range voice sounds great and I can believe that's female, but the other 95% of the time...

This is, of course, the most superficial point I'll ever make, but I know that Sailor Moon villainesses have big gazungas. The Sailor Scouts aren't exactly bustin' out all over, but the evil women are another story. While we all know the low cut dresses, I'll use an even better example--the Amazon Quartet. Those girls are always saying how great it is to be kids forever, and they even have cleavage.(God, I'd need at least a box of Kleenex to match the Amazon Quartet's knockers...)

When the Amazon Quartet could be spokeswomen for Wonderbra, it's pretty damn telling that femme Fish-Eye is completely flat.

And the high pitched, shrill voice...that screams drag queen. Castrati drag queen, perhaps, but drag queen none the less.

Now, this is probably heterosexist of me, but I find it weird that Hawk's-Eye and Tiger's-Eye would push their female teammate to go after women...or be freaked out when a woman went after guys...or were confused when they found her attractive...

Hawk's-Eye and Tiger's-Eye are not the brightest rings in the circus, but as two guys who frequently go cruising for chicks, I can't really see them being as freaked out/confused as they are by a woman going after guys. You can't even argue that women doing the pursuing weirds them out since Tiger's-Eye expects girls to flock to him and Hawk's-Eye wants a Sugar Mama who can afford to buy him presents.

And, oh yeah, the dub's shown Fish-Eye in the shower and Fish-Eye stark raving topless. Now, my breasts are small, humble, and exist on a steady diet of Victoria's Secret push-up bras, but I'm stacked compared to "female" Fish-Eye.(and I just admitted that the Amazon Quartet probably has bigger breasts than I do...)

As great as it is to "think of the children" (or their narrow minded parents), most kids figure out at an early age that women have breasts. In fact, many girls will have started doing their bust increasing exercises at around age eight.

Flat chested female Fish-Eye also makes me wonder a bit about the author. Especially if they mention Fish-Eye's gender in the author's note in a way that implies that, yes, they know that Fish used to be male at some point.

(I think I've done an author's note on Fish-Eye's gender once or twice...mostly to avoid the smiting that comes with mixing dub and original. Then I remembered that there were far more interesting things to fill that "other" column with.)

Which doesn't really bode well when it's one of those fics where Fish-Eye goes after a guy...

I'm not going to go into why that annoys me. I'm sure you can figure it out.

Let's just say it falls into the same category as a fic I read where Zoicite was turned into a woman by Queen Beryl which I felt implied that Beryl not only had far too much time on her hands, but that even homosexuality was too icky for the Negaverse.