What's a faq?

Get the hell off my page. Go to Virtual Bubblewrap or someplace like that.

Are you making fun of Virtual Bubblewrap?

Oh, god no! I spent an hour there once. Then I found some real bubblewrap.

What's Sailor Moon?

Sailor Moon is an anime from Japan about 5-10 girls, depending on season, dressed up in cheerleader outfits that look kind of like sailor suits. They protect the world from two kinds of villains: villains who suck the life out of you and villains who rip things out of your chest(pure heart crystals, talismans, mirrors, star seeds, etc.)

What's the Dead Moon Circus?

It's a happy circus...where they like to tear your shiney hopes and dreams out of your chest. Then laugh at you. Ha ha.

Who are the Amazon Trio?

Hawk's-Eye, Tiger's-Eye, and Fish-Eye. They tie people up and rape their dreams. Then go sit in a bar where Tiger's-Eye and/or Hawk's-Eye either hit on Fish-Eye and get laughed at or Fish-Eye hits on them and gets laughed at.

How do I tell them apart?

Hawk's-Eye is the pink, spikey haired one who would happily sleep with your mother. Tiger's-Eye is the blond one who would happily sleep with your daughter or little sister. Fish-Eye is the blue haired one who would happily sleep with anything male.

I've seen their names as two words and as one word, and I've seen Hawk and Tiger as "Hawk's Eye" and "Tiger's Eye." Which one is it?

Well, in dub-town at least, Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye versus Hawk's Eye and Tiger's Eye vary by the day(Or, when Hawk-Eye's speaking, by the line). I've decided that since it's definitely Fish-Eye and not Fish's Eye(eww), it's -Eye for all of them. But I'm not sure. I'm switching over from -eye to -Eye after seeing that spelling in the English manga(Although even that probably can't be trusted. ^_~) And after a rewatch of the dub, I'm going to 's-Eye...

Who are the Amazon/ess Quartet?

Four little whores. I hate them all.

What are their names and what do they look like, you sexist cretin?

I'm not sexist...I just don't like VesVes, CereCere, PallaPalla, and JunJun. At all. VesVes is the red one, CereCere is the pink one, PallaPalla is the blue one, and JunJun is the green one.

Why don't you call the Quartet Amazonesses unless forced to?

Because "Amazoness" is a hella stupid word. Aren't all Amazons female?

Is it Amazon because of the Greek myth of ladies who killed stuff with bows and arrows and who hacked off their right breasts or Amazon as in the river or Amazon as in Amazon.com, a fine place to buy Sailor Moon merchandise?

Next question.

Worst page ever.

Fine...it's probably Amazon, as in the jungle, where the Quartet lived in the anime. And in the manga, the whole circus is said to be from the mysterious Amazon.

So the Amazon Trio are animals from the Amazon?

Presumably, but there have never been tigers in the Amazon.

Is Zirconia male or female?

I watch the dub. I don't really know what gender anything is. And thinking about Zirconia having a gender can only lead to Zirconia having sex. And I don't want to go down that road.

Did you know that Fish-Eye is really a guy, you ignorant dubbie scum?

Yes. I've basically known since the fairies episode. Which would explain the Amazon Trio m/m/m I keep writing.

If you watch the dub, why don't you know the Amazon Quartet's dub names?

Because I spend most of their episodes ignoring them/saying how much I hate them. And their dub names are moronic since I've decided I like the "Amazon Quartet turns into scouts" thing from the manga. BesuBesu, CeleCele, and ParaPara aren't the shortened names of any goddesses I've heard of.

What is Zircon?

Zircon is that little flying eyeball who really fucks my shit up. It also takes pictures. Probably a few really sick ones.

Who are the McWhore Trio, the Child Whore Brigade, and the Jon Benet Quartet?

Those are my affectionate nicknames for the Amazon Trio and the Amazon Quartet. My other affectionate nicknames for the Amazon Quartet include "Die, bitches" and "I miss the Amazon Trio."

Why do you hate the Amazon Quartet so much?

Because they suck.

That's not a real reason.

Fine. They aren't fit to lick the high heels of the Amazon Trio, who they brutally murdered, and they didn't have the decency to be killed by Sailor Moon(or a passing bus, for all I care)

How many times do you use the term "Aren't fit to lick the Amazon Trio's high heels" or variations on that term?

It's like a scavenger hunt. Try to find all the times I say that.

You do know that the Amazon Trio was revived, given beautiful dreams, and allowed to live in Pegasus' forest, right?

Yes. But I was still very upset. And they were little pixie spirits the last time we saw them. And how are the poor things supposed to get alcohol in that stupid dead forest anyway? They'll die again if they don't get alcohol!

Are the Amazon Trio brothers?

Not only would that create a conflict between my theory that they're doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel and the fact that incest squicks me out, it's basically impossible. Hawk's-Eye used to be a hawk, Tiger's-Eye used to be a tiger, and Fish-Eye used to be a fish. So if they're brothers, it's one messed up family.

Yeah, about that whole "They're all having sex" theory, did you miss the episodes where Hawk's-Eye and Tiger's-Eye went after women and turned blue when Fish decided to stalk guys?

Fish-Eye's practically a girl. And no straight guy would ask another man if he was his type. Never mind the earrings and the high heels. And the hair. Straight men don't put that much time into their hair.

Uh-huh...I came from your Pokemon page and this conflicts with basically every argument you present for that whole stupid rocketshipper thing...where you say with a bit of desperate hope that straight guys can crossdress.

Well, there's a little thing called bisexuality. And it's not desperate hope, it's a fetish, thank you very much.

Why would Tiger's-Eye and Hawk's-Eye be attracted to Fish-Eye? Other than being male, he's too old/young for them.

Shut up. That's why.

Do you have any other stupid theories?

Yes. Zirconia wants Neherenia. And Neherenia wants to throw up at the thought.

Well, who does Neherenia want?

A full length mirror. And a few wrinkle fighting dreams.

Yeah. So, are the Amazon Trio the worst dressed villain team in the history of anime?

No, the Trio are obviously the worst dressed villains ever. Hawk's-Eye is the best dressed of the three of them, and he looks like he escaped from a gay pride toga party. I don't even know how to describe Fish-Eye's outfit, but it's still not as bad as the "I just escaped from 1985 and I got dressed in the dark, but Zelda does want those boots but Zelda would want any boots if they were knee/thigh high and involved leather" ensemble that Tiger-Eye wears.

If you can find anyone more hideously dressed, send pictures.

So, are the Amazon Trio really the original Starlights?

No. Not only would that make the Starlights much more interesting, but the Amazon Trio are three men who dress like women. The Starlights are three women who dress like men.

Going back to that pinnacle of web design that is your Pokemon page, you're not going to build an audience then suddenly start writing lengthy sagas about Sailor Krypton, Cat's-Eye, and other illconcieved original characters that no one cares about, are you?

I don't know what you're implying. And build an audience? That would take time and talent I clearly don't have. Anyway, I've been working on a story about my own awakening as Sailor Andromeda, the strongest scout in the universe who is also irresistable to any anime men I've previously said are attractive!

Where can I find Amazon Trio slash that isn't poorly written or hentai that isn't poorly drawn stick figures?

I wish I knew. There's a picture of them at Massive Destruction's Yaoi Gallery but when I say "a picture" I literally mean one picture. Still, it's a damn fine picture, even if I am still trying to figure out where the other half of Hawk's-Eye's body is.

The only slash I've been able to dig up(that doesn't involve Tiger-Eye/Sailor Senshi or Hawk-Eye/Sailor Senshi)is at Haruka's Mobile Home. Still, "Target's" a nice, happy fic. Even though there's some of the Trio's usual non-con fun. But it teaches several valuable lessons.(Lesson the first: don't touch Fish-Eye when Fish-Eye doesn't want to be touched.)

Is there any swell Dead Moon Circus merchandise for me to purchase?

Try eBay. But since few people appreciate the true beauty of Sailor Moon Super S, there's not much. I know there are Amazon Quartet dolls(at least in Japan) and there are Amazon Trio UFO dolls.

Is there a Zircon Porntastic Camera?

I wish.

Do you have any flair for web design or is this ugly clunker the best thing you've ever done?

Check out my Pokemon page. It's like a great big pile of post-it notes stuck haphazardly onto the refridgerator that is Angelfire. And not even nice, color coordinated post-it notes.

There's not any Rini/Pegasus on this site is there?

I mention it in a few fics, but don't worry. It sickens me, so it's for humor purposes only. And there's no detail.

Do you know where I could find some Rini/Pegasus?

Off my site, pervert.

What do you have against Rini/Pegasus?

It's a girl and a horse. Rini/Helios is far more tolerable in the manga, mostly because Rini doesn't start lusting after Helios until she sees him as a real boy...It also helps that I don't have to hear Helios' deep voice coming out of a twelve-year old's body.

Speaking of Rini, is she Hawk's-Eye's bastard child?

Probably. Check out PSHA for the full theory.

So, if you think Rini is Hawk's-Eye's bastard daughter, why do you scream whenever she hits on Darien?

Because Serena=Hawk-Eye is just an amusing theory(and a joke I finally got after about a year of "Who the hell is Hawk's-Eye?")and Darien and Serena is canon. So Rini's probably just a great big pile of recessive genes. Or an affair, but that's not very likely. Either way, she was raised with Darien as her father, so it's technical incest.

You just wrote a paper on incest in British drama of the 16th century, didn't you?

Yes.

Is Diana the only non-evil character you're nice to?

You leave Diana alone. She's a cute little kitten and I'm a lame-ass. And I like Sailor Pluto and Sailor Jupiter too.

So, who's Diana's real father, smart-ass?

Artemis.

Speaking of cute, how can you like the sickening pile of saccharine that is Super S? Especially since we've all figured out what a bitter and nasty person you are?

Yeah, bestiality, incest, and dream rape are all real cute and cuddly.