Disclaimer: I own nothing except a battered copy of Lady Chatterly’s Lover.
Rating: PG. And I’m just as surprised as you are.
***
He stood in the doorway, his shirt torn, his tan muscles gleaming. She gasped when she saw him. “Oh, what have they done?” she asked. Her aquamarine eyes sparkled with pain.
“It’s nothing,” he said, but winced as he took a few steps towards her. “Just a few scratches.”
“Let me help you,” she said softly and began to tear the hem of her gown.
“Don’t,” he replied. “I’ve got more hurt than you’ve got skirt.”
She defiantly shook her head. “I don’t care,” she said.
Their eyes met. “But the hurt is here,” he said, placing a hand over his heart.
She rushed towards him, crystal tears already starting to fall. “But why? You’re the only man I’ve ever loved!”
Their lips met in a fiery kiss. She had longed for this moment ever since she was a little girl—to be kissed by a man as bold and brave as this. “You shouldn’t,” he whispered. “What about your father? And—“
“Damn them!” she shouted, her cheeks flushed. “You’re the only man who matters to me now!”
“Oh, how I’ve longed to hear you say that,” he said, starting to caress--
“What the hell are you reading, Fish?” asked Tiger’s-Eye, grabbing the book out of the other man’s hands.
“Hey!” snapped Fish-Eye. “Give that back!”
“Lady Iphigenia and the Pirate King?” asked Hawk’s-Eye.
Tiger’s-Eye turned to one of the dog eared pages. “Wow, he even underlined the good parts,” he said. Hawk’s-Eye leaned over his shoulder.
“It’s quality literature,” said Fish-Eye.
Tiger’s-Eye and Hawk’s-Eye slowly turned to stare at their teammate. “I didn’t think this was your kind of thing, Fish,” said Hawk’s-Eye.
“It’s got heaving bosoms in it,” added Tiger’s-Eye.
Fish-Eye grabbed the book from him. “I happen to identify with Lady Iphigenia,” he said primly.
“Really?” asked Tiger’s-Eye. He slid closer to Fish-Eye. “Does that mean you want me to be your pirate king?”
Fish-Eye swatted him away. “You’ll never be as dashing as Westley,” he said. “Now leave me alone.”
Tiger’s-Eye pouted. “And your bosom will never heave like Lady Iphigenia’s,” he muttered.
“Not without a miracle,” said Hawk’s-Eye.
***
Elsewhere, Rini tiptoed into Serena’s bedroom. “Small Lady?” asked a small voice from behind her.
Rini shrieked, then turned around. “Diana, don’t do that!” she said, glaring at the kitten.
“You shouldn’t snoop in other people’s rooms,” said Diana. “It’s not polite.”
Rini blushed. “I’m not snooping,” she said.
“But why are you going in the future queen’s room when you know she isn’t here?”
Rini wondered why Diana always referred to Darien and Serena as the “future” king and queen. Her theory was that, when falling into the 20th century, Diana had landed on her head. “There’s some cat nip in the closet,” she said.
Diana dashed towards the closet, leaving Rini free to complete her mission. Rini hurried to the bed and reached under the mattress. Grinning, she pulled out what she’d been looking for: Love at Sunrise.
“I can’t find it,” Diana said from the closet.
“Keep looking,” said Rini, tiptoeing out of the room with her prize.
***
“I finally found a way to outsmart that little sneak,” Serena proudly announced at Crown’s.
“What now?” sighed Raye.
“You should try to be nicer to Rini, Serena,” said Amy.
“After all that stuff she’s been saying lately, I knew she must have been reading my romance novels,” said Serena. “But I found the perfect hiding place!”
“Under your mattress?” asked Mina.
Serena stared at her. “How did you know?”
“That’s where Mina hides her diary,” said Artemis.
“Artemis! Have you been reading my diary?” Mina screamed.
“Mina, I swear, it fell open!”
Mina had started to turn bright red. “You horrible cat!” she shouted. “With friends like you, who needs enemas?”
The other customers turned towards their booth. Raye sank down in her seat and shielded her face with one hand. Amy quickly buried her face in a book. Lita coughed nervously. “Mina,” the brunette began. “I think you mean—“
“I know what I mean!”
***
Zircon had, without his master’s knowledge or consent, decided to take a personal day. It wasn’t as if he’d been making an important contribution to the mission. He wasn’t looking for someone who could hold Pegasus so much as taking pictures of people he thought were pretty.
To relax he was reading a book he’d found on the dais. It was mostly longing sighs, ripped bodices, and heaving bosoms.
He was enjoying it immensely.
***
Pegasus cleared his throat. Rini didn’t even look up. “Little one, are you sure you should be reading books like that?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Why?” She turned a few pages. Fortunately, Serena had already underlined the good parts.
“I think you should wait until you’re older?”
She glared at him. “Why?”
Somehow, Pegasus paled. “No reason.”
***
“Books like that are for people who can’t get laid,” said Tiger’s-Eye.
“Speaking of getting laid, I wonder why we didn’t get any targets today,” said Hawk’s-Eye.
Fish-Eye shrugged.
Tiger’s-Eye picked up the bar’s remaining picture. It was an elderly bag lady adding another soda can to her shopping cart. “She looks like your type,” he said.
“She bores me,” said Hawk’s-Eye.
“You didn’t even look!” Tiger’s-Eye glared at him. “And I want it back.”
“What?”
“You know. The book.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Hawk’s-Eye. He took a sip of his Jack and Coke. It would be a cold day in hell before Tiger’s-Eye saw Cherry Boys again.
***
That night, Serena ran up to her bedroom and immediately went to her bed. Giggling to herself, she reached under the mattress. Her eyes widened as she realized something was missing. “Dammit, Rini!”