Disclaimer: The North American rights to Sailor Moon belong to either DiC or CWI, depending on which season it is. In the eastern hemisphere, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon belongs to many fine and talented people, none of whom are me.

Rating: Hard to say. Tame by my standards, so that’s probably about a PG.

Other: I really wish I could say I wrote this little short while trashed, I really do. Sadly, it was just astronomy class and I was bored.(“Hmm…learn about the history of the universe or write something idiotically lame. Let’s see…”)

Another intense battle between good and evil was going on when Sailor Moon and Sailor Mini-Moon found themselves entrenched in another pointless dispute. “I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the dream stealing center of a Dead Moon Pop,” Sailor Moon said, looking at the candy they’d picked up earlier in the episode.

“We can’t worry about that now!” whined Sailor Mini-Moon. The bound target continued to scream.

“Why don’t you go ask someone?” Tigereye suggested. “I promise I’ll wait for you to get back before I do anything.”

“You promise?” asked Mini_moon.

“We always wait for you damn pumpkins to say your stupid attack names, don’t we?”

“We’ll be right back,” said Sailor Moon as the pair ran off.

Tigereye blinked several times. He was amazed that had worked. He magicked himself a hammer before starting to talk to his shadow.

Fisheye was sitting on a park bench, a naked picture of Darien beside him and a daisy in his scaly hands. “He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me…”

Moon and Mini-Moon stood a few feet away, wondering if they were asking Mr. Fisheye or Miss Fisheye about Dead Moon Pops. “Serena, it’s obviously a girl!” Mini-Moon hissed. “Why else would it be interested in Darien?”

Sailor Moon sweatdropped. “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” she whispered as they walked over to Fisheye. “Mr. Fisheye, how many licks does it take to get to the dream stealing center of a Dead Moon Pop?” Sailor Moon asked.

Fisheye quickly stuffed the nude picture of Darien down the front of his body suit and replied, “I never made it without falling in love with the target.” He pulled the last petal off the daisy on “he loves me not” and started to crush the flower. “Ask Mr. Hawk.”

“What did that have to do with anything?” asked Sailor Mini-Moon as they walked off to find Hawkeye. “And you still haven’t answered my last question!”

“I’ve got one word for you, Mini-Moon. Fiore.”

Hawkeye was sitting in a tree outside the senior center, a pair of binoculars in his hand. “Mr. Hawkeye?” asked Sailor Mini-Moon, nearly causing her rumored father to fall out of the tree. “How many licks does it take to get to the dream stealing center of a Dead Moon Pop?”

“Let’s find out,” said Hawkeye, leaping to the ground and grabbing the Dead Moon Pop from Sailor Moon. “One! Two! Three!”

“Wauughh!” screamed Sailor Moon as the predictable happened. Mini-Moon ran like hell. “Mini-Moon! Where are you going?”

“To get help,” Mini-Moon called over her shoulder.

“Why don’t you just call Pegasus?”

“Uhm…this seems more like a Mercury Aqua Rhapsody situation…and I’m sure Tuxedo Mask’ll be here soon!”

“Mini-Moon! If I get out of this alive, you’re in big trouble, young lady!”

Back in their bar, the Amazon Trio was amusing themselves. Tigereye and Hawkeye were seeing who could hit the neon sign first while Fisheye continued working on a photo collage of naked men on his side of the bar. Tigereye chucked another piece of broken dream mirror at the sign. Hawkeye threw Sailor Moon’s tiara which ricocheted back at them. Humming the theme song to himself, Fisheye reached for the rubber cement. At the sound of a sickening thump, all three turned around. “I think we just killed Zircon,” said Hawkeye.

“You mean you killed Zircon,” Tigereye snapped. He then noticed what Fisheye was doing. "Oh, eww!"

"Leave me alone," said Fisheye. "It's better than your stash of Playboys."

Hawkeye leaned over to see what his teammates were talking about. "Is that me?" he asked.

"Where did you get naked pictures of us?" asked Tigereye.

"Zircon," said Fisheye, looking sadly at the dead eyeball. "I'm going to miss him..."