Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I owned Zircon…not in a copyright sense. I wish I had a pet Zircon. I would spy on everyone And if he could get sound too, that would really kick ass…
Rating: I don’t know…somewhere between PG-13 and R? Whips are used, but without much detail. There’s the usual references to pedophilia, offers of oral sex, and a few words that’ll get your mouths washed out with soap. Another very important thing to consider is the fact that it’s a story about the Amazon Trio written by Zelda, who has decided that m/m/m needs to be attempted in every single fic. If you don’t even like m/m, just be glad Zelda doesn’t write about the four generals because then she’d probably try for m/m/m/m.
Other: Hey, at least there’s no Rini/Pegasus in this one.
Hawk-Eye entered the bar, yawning loudly. Fish-Eye was slumped over, his head resting on his arms and looking like he was about to fall asleep. Hawk-Eye fell onto the stool next to him. “You couldn’t sleep either?”
Fish-Eye shook his head. “I kept hearing this horrible screaming…”
“Me too.”
They both sighed. “Tiger-Eye’s probably sleeping in,” Hawk-Eye muttered.
“If he doesn’t show up soon, I’m going back to bed,” Fish-Eye announced. He sneered at the picture in front of him. “Don’t men ever have any beautiful dreams?” He passed the picture to Hawk-Eye. “It’s a shame Tiger-Eye isn’t here…”
Hawk-Eye took the picture and grimaced. “I know…how old do you think this one is?”
“Six. Maybe seven. It’s perfect for him.”
“What’s perfect for me?” asked Tiger-Eye. He strode over to the bar with a smug smile on his face.
Fish-Eye and Hawk-Eye glared at him. “You look well rested,” snapped Fish-Eye.
“Actually, I was out late last night,” Tiger-Eye replied, winking at him. He leaned over Hawk-Eye’s shoulder to look at the picture. “Hot damn! Finally! Something that isn’t a corpse.”
Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye exchanged a glance. “You were out late, Tiger-Eye?” Hawk-Eye asked as Tiger-Eye grabbed the picture and sat down. “You expect us to believe that?”
“You’ve been shot down more times than Hawk-Eye in an old folks home,” added Fish-Eye.
“Suck it, Fish.”
“Is that a threat or a promise?”
“Just shut up.”
Tiger-Eye raised an eyebrow. “What’s with you two?” he asked.
“We didn’t get any sleep last night because something kept screaming,” said Fish-Eye.
“PallaPalla probably found another small animal,” Hawk-Eye muttered.
Fish-Eye shuddered. “I thought Zirconia said she wasn’t allowed to have a kitten,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Fish, if she’s got a kitten, it won’t be in any shape to bother you,” said Hawk-Eye.
“Zirconia promised me that there wouldn’t be any cats allowed in the tent!” Fish-Eye snapped.
“Present company excluded?” Tiger-Eye asked in what he considered one of his suaver voices. He leaned over, giving Fish-Eye a come hither look. Hawk-Eye leaned back, wishing he wasn’t in the crossfire of Tiger-Eye’s strange flirtation with Fish-Eye.
Fish-Eye looked at Tiger-Eye carefully. “No, you’re pissing me off right now too,” he said. “Mostly because you actually got to sleep!”
Tiger-Eye shrugged. “I’m always tired after a good work-out,” he replied. “And if you two ever got any, you’d know what I’m talking about.”
“You never get any either,” Fish-Eye and Hawk-Eye muttered. They then realized what they’d just admitted to and quickly tried to cover for it. “And I got laid…recently…”
Tiger-Eye smiled smugly. “You two are just jealous.”
“Why would we be jealous?” asked Hawk-Eye.
“You’re both jealous because I have the best hair,” Tiger-Eye answered. “And you’re jealous because I get all the hot babes,” Tiger-Eye said to Hawk-Eye. He looked at Fish-Eye. “And you’re jealous because you can’t have me.”
Fish-Eye’s left eye started to twitch slightly. “For the last time, I don’t want you!” he half shrieked. “And if I did, you’re a whore! Of course I could have you!”
Tiger-Eye glowered at him before starting to sulk. “I’m not a whore,” he said quietly.
“He’s right, Fish,” said Hawk-Eye. “Whores get paid.”
“Fine, man-slut, whatever,” muttered Fish-Eye. “Can we go back to bed? Pegasus isn’t going anywhere…”
“You want to go back to bed with me, right?” asked Tiger-Eye, refusing to be shot down by someone he claimed he wasn’t sexually compatible with.
Fish-Eye’s eyes narrowed. “Suck it,” he snapped.
“Whip it out, Fish.” It slowly occurred to Tiger-Eye’s brain what had just been said by his big mouth as a very smug looking Fish-Eye reached for the zipper on his body suit. “I’d better go after this next target,” he said, quickly standing up.
Fish-Eye stood up and slowly walked towards him. “Oh, no, Tiger-Eye, I think we both know that there’s something between us,” Fish-Eye said softly. He was especially amused by the fact that Tiger-Eye was frozen by either fear or curiousity. “Why hide our feelings any longer?” The blue haired man slid his arms around his startled teammate.
“Ow! Dammit, Fish!” Tiger-Eye shouted as Fish-Eye’s hand brushed against his back. “I’m not into that kind of thing,” he added, shoving Fish-Eye away. In an attempt to regain some dignity, Tiger-Eye tossed his hair over his shoulder. “Unlike you two slackers, I’m going to get some work done. This target has to have Pegasus!”
“I really hate him sometimes,” muttered Fish-Eye, sitting down next to Hawk-Eye again. He noticed the other man was staring at him. “What? I barely touched him!”
“Did that scream sound familiar to you?” asked Hawk-Eye.
“What do you…” Fish-Eye trailed off, eyes widening. “You don’t mean…”
They both started snickering.
The Amazon Quartet was once again lounging in their massage parlor. PallaPalla sighed unhappily, hugging a teddy bear with one eye to her chest. “PallaPalla is tired!” she whined.
“Who was making all that noise last night?” asked JunJun, trying to keep from dozing off.
“I don’t know, but I think that was extremely rude of them,” said CereCere. “I need my beauty sleep!”
They both looked over at VesVes, who was sound asleep on her massage table and snoring loudly. “We should’ve slept in too,” said JunJun. “It’s not like we have anything to do…”
“Good. PallaPalla’s going back to sleep!” said PallaPalla, gathering her stuffed animals around her.
When Tiger-Eye returned a few hours later, he found something he hadn’t quite expected. He stood a few feet away, staring at Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye. They’d managed to fall asleep by slumping against each other. Fish-Eye was leaning on Hawk-Eye’s shoulder, and Hawk-Eye’s cheek was resting against Fish-Eye’s hair. Tiger-Eye paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to wake them up that would cause the most embarrassment. He decided to simply clear his throat.
“What?” Fish-Eye whined, sitting up and dislodging Hawk-Eye in the process.
“Did you find Pegasus?” asked Hawk-Eye.
“Have a nice nap?” asked Tiger-Eye. His only reply was a loud yawn from both of his teammates. “No. And the little brat’s dad kept threatening to call the cops!”
“Parents seem to have this thing against pedophiles,” said Hawk-Eye. Fish-Eye giggled behind his hand.
“Shut up, grave robber,” snapped Tiger-Eye. “You too, Fish. You’ve gone after little boys before.”
“Nothing that young,” Fish-Eye muttered.
“What about the kid with nice skin?”
“He was at least ten!”
“Hey, CereCere, can I ask you about something?” asked VesVes.
“Sure,” CereCere said reluctantly. Even though she and VesVes both favored the same style of skimpy bikini, there were still vast differences between them. For example, CereCere’s skimpy garments were made of silk while VesVes’ were made of leather. There was also the fact that VesVes refused to go anywhere without her trusty whip. CereCere forced a smile and barely managed to keep her nose from wrinkling. “What is it?”
”How do you know if you’ve pulled a muscle?”
CereCere raised an eyebrow. She was probably the last person to ask about anything that could potentially involve physical labor. “Go ask JunJun,” she yawned.
Rich bitch VesVes thought bitterly.
Tiger-Eye had been inspired to give a play by play of his failure. “So, I waited outside her school for awhile,” he was saying. “Wake up!”
“We’re awake,” Fish-Eye mumbled.
“I’m just resting my eyes,” added Hawk-Eye. Both of them were practically face down on the bar. Fish-Eye had started to drool.
“You’re not listening to me!” Tiger-Eye snapped, before starting to pout.
“Nnngh,” Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye replied.
“Oh, crap, what time is it?” Tiger-Eye suddenly asked.
“Nnnghh…”
“You’re late,” snapped VesVes.
“Sorry, Mistress…”
VesVes pulled out her whip. “Do you know what happens when you’re late?”
“Yes, Mistress…”
Several hours later, Fish-Eye staggered out of bed, plodded to the bar, and collapsed onto a stool. He couldn’t sleep, mostly because the screaming was still going full force. He started groping for his usual martini glass and alcohol to fill it with.
“Can’t sleep?” Hawk-Eye asked, causing Fish-Eye to jump.
“If that’s Tiger-Eye, I’m going to strangle him,” Fish-Eye muttered.
As their eyes adjusted to the light, the two surveyed each other’s choice of sleeping attire. Fish-Eye was unsurprisingly wearing a nearly sheer pale green camisole as well as matching fluffy, high heeled slippers. Hawk-Eye on the other hand… “You own boxer shorts?” asked Fish-Eye.
“Did I say anything about what you’re wearing?” asked Hawk-Eye. He was wearing black boxers and matching fluffy, high heeled slippers.
Fish-Eye smirked. “I think it’s cute,” he said. “It’s almost masculine…” Plus there’s obviously no buttons on the flap…
“What are you implying?”
“Nothing.” Fish-Eye yawned. “Why won’t he shut up?” he shouted in the direction of the screaming.
“I just want to get some sleep,” said Hawk-Eye.
Fish-Eye crossed his legs in an attempt to hide something that his sheer nightgown only seemed to be accentuating. “We can try to ignore it…”
“We tried that, remember?”
“We can drink until we pass out…”
They both sighed unhappily, even though that was exactly why they’d gone to the bar. “Have you ever gotten drunk?” asked Fish-Eye.
“No…”
“Me neither.” Fish-Eye bit his lip. “We could try to drown out the noise,” he suggested.
“How? Tiger-Eye has the lungs of a fourteen year old gi—“ Hawk-Eye’s eyes widened as Fish-Eye shut him up the old fashioned way.
“Well?” Fish-Eye asked, breaking away from the kiss.
As someone who considered himself straight with a penchant for women’s clothing, Hawk-Eye naturally had to consider this for a moment. On one hand, he was damned tired. On the other hand, he didn’t own a single pair of shoes without at least a three inch heel and days where Fish-Eye went after targets were looked forward to by both Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“What the hell?” Tiger-Eye exclaimed as he entered the bar in the hopes of one last drink before going to bed. Fish-Eye and Hawk-Eye sat up and stared at him in unison, both looking like they’d just been caught doing something wrong. Which was slightly understandable since their clothes were strewn around the bar, and they were currently in a nude embrace on top of the latest pile of target pictures. Tiger-Eye tripped over a sea-green high heeled slipper as he approached.
“We can explain,” said Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye. They both yawned loudly, then glared at each other.
Tiger-Eye was very rapidly adding two and two together. Because finding one of one’s coworkers on top of the other could really only mean one thing. “You’re sleeping with a guy!” Tiger-Eye continued. To his chagrin, he really wasn’t that surprised that Fish-Eye was the coworker on top.
“Which one of us are you talking to?” asked Fish-Eye.
“I don’t know!”
Before anything else could be said/screamed by Tiger-Eye, Zircon flew in, looking very pleased with himself. He projected an image on the wall that caused Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye’s jaws to drop. They both slowly looked at Tiger-Eye who was sweatdropping like there was no tomorrow. This was all due to the fact that the image Zircon was projecting was a video of Tiger-Eye tied up in a darker corner of the circus tent and being beaten by VesVes. “I guess this explains the screaming,” said Fish-Eye.
“I’m surprised he didn’t whine about her scarring his perfect body,” muttered Hawk-Eye. He and Fish-Eye both started giggling.
“Shut up,” snapped Tiger-Eye. “At least I’m not desperate enough to go after Fish-Eye.”
“I wonder if she’s going to use the pool cue,” said Fish-Eye, turning back to Zircon’s damning footage.
Tiger-Eye grimaced and continued to slowly turn bright red. Mostly because if Zircon didn’t shut himself off in a few seconds, Fish-Eye would get the answer to his question. “You know, I have to drink off that,” he said.
“There’s the pool cue,” said Hawk-Eye.
Fish-Eye threw back his head and started howling with laughter. “Shit!” he yelped at he started to fall off the bar. Hawk-Eye grabbed his wrists and pulled him back up. Their eyes met. “Red ball in the back pocket,” Fish-Eye said, causing both of them to start laughing again.
“Look who’s talking,” snapped Tiger-Eye.
“A pool cue?” asked Hawk-Eye. He turned back to Fish-Eye and pouted. “I wish I had something to get that image out of my head…”
Fish-Eye giggled. “I think something can be arranged…”
The picture faded and Zircon began to happily take pictures of the lovely tableau Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye were providing.
“I’m going to leave,” Tiger-Eye said, starting to back away.
“Room for one more,” said Fish-Eye, winking at him.
As he continued to back away, Tiger-Eye tripped over another article of clothing. He picked up Fish-Eye’s nightgown. “Is this what you were wearing?” he asked. Fish-Eye nodded. “Just don’t touch my back.”
A photo covered bar was not an especially comfortable place to sleep, especially if welts were involved. Tiger-Eye had already staggered to his feet and was searching for his clothes. He’d managed to find a boot and two rings. He peeled another picture off the back of his leg and glared at Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye. The other two Amazons were still curled up on top of the bar, Hawk-Eye using Fish-Eye’s chest for a pillow.
Zircon was sleeping at their feet, completely exhausted from the pounds of blackmail he’d just acquired.