AHHHH!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: No Music Playing
I want to write!

God DAMNIT, I want to write! Everyone, please, leave me alone! Not you guys. I mean the people in my life. My best friend who is my roommate, my mom, my coworkers, Wal-Mart (I can't seem to keep my ass out of there), and whoever else feels the need to call and/or come visit.

You know, this is something I ponder all the time. Why is having someone to talk to so important? I can go all day, hell, a few WEEKS without speaking to another soul and be perfectly happy. I know this for a fact, because I've done it. I mean, I just don't understand why it is so necessary to talk all the time.

The same thing is said about me though. My mom and friends can't understand how I can be on the computer all day. The only way I can explain it is to say that I enjoy what I do. I LOVE writing my stories. I love trying to come up with something that will surprise you guys or knock you all for a loop. I enjoy challenging myself by trying to find a new twist that will keep you wanting more. I don't get that kind of satisfaction being around other people who are not into the same thing I am.

Maybe that's why I'm so antisocial, I think. I'm the only yaoi lover in town that I know. When I say 'anime,' the first thing that comes to ppl's minds is 'The Lion King.' No, bitches, that's not anime. And when I name off the great stuff like 'Ninja Scroll' or mention shows like 'Gravitation' or 'Trigun,' all I get are blank stares. I swear, in my town, I am truly an army of one.

I just want to get back to the way I was. When I lived with my mom, I could plop my ass in front of the computer and not be disturbed for HOURS. I would, literally, be on from sun up to sun down. That is not the case anymore. Even on my days off, when I want to write, I can't concentrate because (a.) my best friend usually comes in to TALK, and I can't write a hot Quatre/Trowa or Duo/Wufei scene while she's looking over my shoulder, and (b.) there's so much construction going on that I can't focus!

My problem is that I want to be alone when I want to, and I want company when I want it, and that's very selfish and arrogant of me. I mean, I love my best friend dearly, and I would be hurt if my coworkers didn't want to be friends with me or spend time with me, but these are the same people that I see everyday. And if I see them everyday, what the fuck is there to say that we haven't said already?

Exactly.