Winding Down, Toughing Up
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: System of a Down - 'Atwa'

Wow, it's been a while! And boy do I have some interesting things to tell you!

Where should I start... oh yeah. A month or so ago my fellow traveling nurses and I went to a bar in Scottsdale called "Sugardaddies." We had a good time, but my friends and I were not... thinking clearly due to alcohol consumption when we left. ^__^ Anyway, one of the guys we were with had to pee, and he didn't feel like going back inside to use the bathroom. Now, where I live in Texas, and where the others live (they're from Texas too), there are alot of fields about. When you're driving, and it may be a good hour or three before you run across a gas station, you learn to carry napkins/toilet paper in your car. (Especially when you're a traveling nurse). So when he started pissing in the parking lot, I thought nothing of it. In fact, I thought it was hilarious! I started taking pictures of it when I turned around and noticed a squad car. (I swear to GOD he came out of the air!) The cop quickly pulled my friend aside and read him the riot act, while another cop came to me and bashed me for allowing my friend to "degrade the city in such an act." He was right and I was sorry, but I think he took my silence as dissassent, and read me the riot act for that too. I was okay with that. If I tried to be my normal, smart-assed self, he wouldn't be able to help but notice my slurred words. Hell, *I* noticed it and I was drunk!

It went downhill from there. We couldn't give them our apartment addresses, only our permanent addresses, which they didn't want. They wanted where we were staying in Arizona. Hell, I don't know where I live! I just know how to get there from work and vice versa. The other travelers didn't know either. I remember at one point, a cop yelled, "Is there any one of you that is an Arizona resident?" None of us raised our hands. So then the cops chewed all of our asses out. Any other person would've been intimidated I'm sure. I just wanted them to go away so I could pee in the bushes.

I came out of my stupor when the cops arrested my friend. I didn't think it would come to that. So the rest of us rushed off to Scottsdale jail. What a shitty way to end an evening. Trust me, hanging out at a jail til five in the morning to bail your friend out is no fun, especially on an empty stomach and full bladder.

It especially sucked when they made me take a breathilizer test. I was the only one okay enough to drive, but I had to do the test or else the cops wouldn't let any of us go. That really, really sucked. I had to keep blowing in that tube for so long I thought my forehead was gonna pop off.

What else... work has been an absolute mess. The clinical manager does not know what she's doing, and it shows everytime she opens her mouth. She's been forgeting patients in the schedules. She's had her facts totally wrong. She's changed doctor's orders on her whim. She's been giving out the wrong information, and she's been making poor decisions. We're also expecting State to come anyday now, to evaluate us to see if we're adhering to policy and procedure. Each time they're supposed to come, she's had to suddenly be in California to take her sick sister to the doctor, and she'll leave the night before. I'll come to work and find an email or note saying she's out of state, and for me to call so-and-so if State comes. That chickenshit.

Work is also a mess because of two new-hires. One is this cocky guy who thinks he's hot shit. His girlfriend calls several times a day, as well as his wife. Both are trying to sway me to their side as to why they should be with him, and both don't seem to realize that when I tell them, "I could give a shit," that I mean it, or when I tell them, "How 'bout you blow me instead?" that I mean that too. He seems to think I'm very entertaining. Well, he can blow me too.

The other new hire is crazy. Literally. She also has to be on drugs. She disappears, and no one knows where she is, then she suddenly reappears. She always sneaking off, always having doctor's appointments, or has to leave work early for this and that. She doesn't do what she's told, or she tries to do shit that she has no business doing. Her manner is unprofessional, and everyday she looks as if she got into a bar fight, than immediately came to work. The manager is too chickenshit to fire her, and I've bloody hell had it with this girl. She is not safe enough to work on patients unsupervised, and her training has been over for three weeks. For someone who says she has six years experience as a dialysis technician, that's unbelieveable and unacceptable. She either lied on her application, or she lied on her application.

Hmm... I joined a yoga studio. Every time I go I think they're trying to kill me to get ahold of my SpongeBob keychain.

If you're ever in Phoenix, Fort McDowell casino is awesome. But don't talk in the Bingo room. Those mother fuckers are serious about their Bingo. (Please don't ask me how I know. It's embarrassing as all hell).

My mother visited last week, and stayed for a week. (During her visit the 'Bingo' incident occurred). We went to the movies, shopping, the casino, saw Sedona and the Grand Canyon. (I'll tell about Sedona and the GC in another entry). When she left I cried. I miss her terribly.

Okay, last words:

Sugardaddies is awesome.

Fort McDowell is awesome.

Sedona and the Grand Canyon are awesome.

Any shopping mall is awesome.

Phoenix is utterly, utterly beautiful. Arizona should be proud.

I'm In Phoenix!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: IPod's downloads
Hey all. Belated Happy Holidays.

Well, I'm on my second nursing assignment, in Tempe Arizona, although my apartment is in Phoenix. I've been here since..er..the 13th, I think. I *still* had living arrangement issues when I got here. The power wasn't turned on. *makes face* And there was a problem with my internet, which I wasn't able to get until last night. *makes bigger face* Other than that, things have gone okay. Plus there's no deer head. That's a big, big plus.

I haven't been able to see much. I've seen downtown Tempe, which was okay. I didn't spend any time going to the bars or anything, so I didn't get the true vibe of the small town. It was very pretty though.

Just driving around Phoenix when I've gotten hella-lost was something. The mountains are gorgeous enough, but at sunset...it's un-fucking-believable. If heaven looks like that, we won't miss Earth.

Does anyone live(d) in Phoenix that knows the hot spots? Touristy things to do? Suggestions are welcome!

Gotta go rescue my brownies. Later y'all!!

God damnit!: Part 2
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: 'If I Were Your Woman' - Alicia Keys
Okay. I'm calm now, but not calm enough to start working on the chapter again. I need a bit more time to mellow out. Probably another day or two.

God. Ya'll have no idea how truly mind-blowingly pissed I was.

I can't wait until I see my family tomorrow. I really, really need a hug.

It's not that I can't just spit out what I had before. I don't think I can. For those of you that write, you know that you have to be in a certain mind-frame to do that, and I haven't been in that mind-frame for a long time. I haven't been writing alot lately, one, because of my assignment, but also, now it turns out the landlord for the place I'm staying in during this assignment has been coming in and out, looking through the cabin and my stuff. I don't know why. I found out when he issued a complaint against me that I had something I wasn't supposed to have (space heaters) and that one had to be removed. Considering that I have the windows closed and blocked up right now because of the cold weather, the only way he could have known about the heaters was if he has been INSIDE to see them. I haven't reported any needed maintainence, and I told my recruiter such. I also told her that if I came home and saw the cunt inside for any reason, I was going to knife his ass. So it's been hell sleeping at night, knowing that the son of a bitch was probably trying on my underwear or something.

God, I'm so tired of everything right now. I'm going to bed.

God damnit!
Mood:  on fire
I HAVE GOD DAMN HAD IT!!

It's bad enough that my day at work was hella-shitty, okay? I was working on the next installment for TFM. Now, ALL I had to do was finish the chapter! I had MAYBE another half a page, and I would've been done. So what happens? THE GOD DAMN DISC ATE IT!!!!

That's right. NO chapter. I went to SAVE it--it gave me an error message--and then kicked me out. I went, 'what the fuck,' tried to open the file, and now it's asking me to reformat because it can't open it. And not only that, I have all of the Saga series on one disc. That's right ya'll, the stupid thing ate the entire, god damn series. I'm so pissed right now, I don't know what to do with myself. This has happened several times before, and it's always been with this series. I'm so fuckin' sick and tired of having to go back and download and change weird symbols that pop up and find the most recent revisions...I just can't do it now. I quit saving it to the hard drive because my brother would download shit and viruses would eat them up, so I lost extra copies that way... he kept breaking the fuckin' zip drive too, so I lost my other copy, and the final copy of the series I DO have is still in Texas, and I won't be back until January, MAYBE!!

AHHHHHH!!!!

Umm...hi
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Dreaming - 'System of a Down'
I'm bored. And I'm hungry.

I just posted the next chapter for BiS, and now that that's accomplished, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't feel like working on the next chapter. I don't feel like working on TFM. It's 12:14 at night, and I'm wide awake, listening to System of a Down. Not the type of music that induces sleeping. *starts head banging*

My brother is coming to Chicago this weekend, and I'm so excited about it. On the weekends when I'm off, I intend to go up there just to be with my family. I thank God that I got this weekend off to be with him AND my dad. Hopefully, this will be awesome, so I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe that's why I feel so restless.

Anyone know of any good places to hit in Canada? It doesn't make sense for me to be a few hours from the border and not go. Hell, maybe I could make a couple of weekends of it.

Ooohhh. There was a commercial on about oreos. Yummy.

Hmm. I don't feel like typing anymore.

Adios.

My First Assignment
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: No music
Ah. The internet. How life went on without it, I can't imagine.

Well, I'm finally (somewhat) settled into my new place, and it's been everything but pleasant. My first assignment as a travel nurse is in Kankakee, Illinois, which is an hour south of Chicago.

So far, I'm not having a good time. I've been here two weeks, and it feels like it's been two months. I arrived on September 30th, after driving up 20 hours from Texas. Since I drove up with my mom, we spent about, oh, 19 1/2 hours arguing.

The place I was supposed to move in to was occupied, which I knew already. So I had to stay in a hotel for two weeks until the people moved out. Okay. I was fine with that. The Holiday Inn I was staying in was awesome, so I was pretty content...for all of five seconds.

I've been living on my own for a while now, but this is the first time I've been away from everything I knew. Where I'm working now is completely different from what I was trained to do, and I feel completely over my head, and incompetent. My shift is 8 hours, which really bugs the shit outta me. Yeah, 12-13 hour days sucked, but then I'd only work 3 or 4 days a week. This 5-day-a-week shit I'm not digging at all.

Not only did I feel incompetent (and still do), I had gotten a case of homesickness that had me bawling for days. Ya'll, I hadn't cried in over six years. And in one week I had cried more than I had in my entire life. I cried as I got ready for work, on my break, and on my drive home. I couldn't get my shit together no matter what. I was seriously contemplating breaking my contract. That was how depressed I became.

But then the place I was supposed to move into was ready. I was happy at first. The area I'm in now is a bunch of million-dollar homes...except for mine.

I'm in a cabin. My house is a god damn cabin.

At first I thought it was cool. It was furnished of course, with TV's, cable, working bathroom, huge closet space, and a loft on the second floor with my bed. To reach it, I have to go up a latter. Really cool. Next, my backyard is the Kankakee River. Literally. I go out my door, walk ten feet down, and bam. The river. Nothing is holding it back from the land, so I can walk right into the river if I want to. My neighbor canoes in it every day.

But I'm afraid that's where the fun stops. I was here for a good hour, and discovered some serious faults. One was no internet. I would have to set that up and pay for it. Shit. Another problem was that my cellphone didn't work out here, and I would have to get a landline and pay for that as well. Shit again. The next problem was the washing machine/dryer. They were in the garage. In Texas, houses are built with the washer/dryer in the house, or if in the garage, there is a door that leads TO the garage. Not here. I have to go OUTSIDE to get to the garage, and open it. When I went to close it, it got stuck. I had been here a whole hour when that happened, and had to wait another hour for the service people to come and fix it.

Next was the smell. It smelled like a cabin. (Big stretch there). But I didn't know until then that I didn't LIKE the smell of cabins. So I would have to buy a bunch of smell stuff and candles to fix that. Shit, shit, shit.

Next, and I kid you not, there is a god damn deer head on the wall. Now, I come from Texas. I have seen many a live deer, and nearly hit a few as well. I don't need a fuckin' deer head on my wall. Worse yet, it's angled towards the couch. So when I'm watching TV, it's watching me. And when I go to bed at night, I swear it winks at me. I want it gone.

NEXT, whoever previously stayed here had a cat. Now, I'm not an animal hater, but I don't have too much love for them either. But I can't STAND cats, and there was cat hair all over the place. I mean ALL OVER. There was cat hair all over the couch, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the mirrors... everywhere! I was so fucking disgusted! I could tell the company tried to clean it up as best as they could, but it's cat hair. There was only so much they could do. So I had to order slipcovers, which cost me $130. I feel much, much better now that they're covered, but I could still smell the cat whenever I land too hard.

NEXT AGAIN, is the heat. It snowed on Thursday, and the temperature plummeted. I turned on the heat, and discovered, to my dismay, that the heat didn't work very well. No matter how high I turned it up, it was programmed not to exceed 65 degrees, and I couldn't figure out how to override that. Plus the heat didn't work too great anyway. It wouldn't heat up the entire cabin, just the kitchen. It was 52 degrees when I woke up Friday morning. Outside, it was 60. That made no god damn sense. So I bought an electric blanket, and today I finally got off my ass and bought two space heaters. Those cost about $80, the blanket $60.

What else could I say about this place...

(1) The lighting isn't very good. I have to turn on damn near all of them to see.

(2) The microwave is disgusting. It needs replacing.

(3) I have bruises all up and down my legs (and broke the hell out of the skin of my knee) because I keep nearly falling down that stupid, stupid piece of shit latter.

(4) The wildlife here is ridiculous. We have deer, possums, squirrels, ducks, coyotes and racoons. Racoons. I don't like racoons.

(5) Another problem is the foliage. The trees here are walnut trees, and now the walnuts are mature and falling off. But they fall hard, and ricochet all over the place. The first time I heard it fall, it sounded like someone was knocking on the door. I'm afraid I'll get beamed in the head or that one will break my windshield.

(6) The walnuts hitting the roof keep me up at night. And when they don't, the ducks do.

(7) The first twenty minutes I was here, I lost the keys to the place. I've only found one. I have no idea where the other key is, and it'll be my ass if I don't get another made.

I'm trying to stick it out since I had to go thru so much hell to get situated in the first place. We'll see. But I hope to God that things improve drastically this week, or else I won't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope, and I don't think I'll be able to tolerate much more. My contract ends December 6, and right now I don't think I'll even make it thru tomorrow.

I've never been one to need comfort, but I'd kick ass for some lovin' right now.

My Life's A Whirlwind
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: No music
I'm moving guys, but it wasn't exactly expected.

I applied for a travel nurse position about, oh, mid-August. Wonder of wonders, they hired me. ^__^ For my first assignment, I wanted something in the Chicagoland area, because I wanted to be near my family there. So they sent out my resume, and within a few days, I had several offers. Again, wonder of wonders.

But the position I was reeeeeally interested in is in a city called Kankakee, which is an hour south of Chicago. That was further than what I wanted, but I *really* liked them, and they *really* liked me. Unfortunately, they were stuck and so was I. They needed someone immediately, like the following week, because they were losing, like, 4 nurses. I told them there was no way I could make that, because I had to give my notice, get an Illinois nursing license and blah blah blah. The earliest I was willing to be there would be October 2. They were deciding between myself and another person, so they said they would get back to me. Well, my recruiter called me the following day and said they decided to go with the other candidate, and that was okay with me. This was all around the third week of August.

Okay. Here is the BIGGIN'.

September 8th, (the 8th now!) I get a call from my recruiter, where she flat out told me that the clinic I was interested in couldn't stand the other girl, and that they would wait for me to get there October 2nd. I had to say 'yes' or 'no' right there on the spot. If I agreed, that meant I only had twenty days to obtain my Illinois license, give my notice, pack my shit and move, which would involve driving from San Antonio to Kankakee, (a 20 hour drive), move into my new apartment, which I *still* don't have, orient myself around the city and the job, and be ready to rock and roll on the 2nd.

So of course, I agreed.

After my brief faint spell, and a short period of 'what the fuck did I just do?!' I got my ass into gear. Guys, I can't tell you how much trouble I'm going thru to get this to work. So please bear with me! I haven't given up on writing, I'm just very frantic right now. This is the first major move I have ever done in my entire life. I will be living all by myself, away from family and friends, and as much as I want to do this, it scares the shit outta me too. Plus I'm having to hope my license goes thru okay, or else I'll be stuck without a job in a state where I can't work in the field I'm supposed to. Scary. Every waking moment not spent at work is spent packing, taping, mailing, arguing (my mom's family is not happy that I'm going), and ass-covering.

But I'm telling ya'll...I'm going to be writing like crazy once I'm settled. ALONE? In my OWN place? Free of looking-over-my-shoulder friends and relatives? Sounds like heaven!

I wish this shit was over already.

Out of Town!
Now Playing: No Music
Just emailing ya'll to let you know I left town. I'm in Chicago, visiting my dad and cousins. I will be here until Saturday, the 15th. Sorry about the warning, I kinda...forgot. ^__^

What I Did (And Didn't Do) On My Vacation
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: 'Couldn't Love You More' by Sade
Hey ya'll!

Sorry if this entry sounds...weird. I took my migraine medicine a little while ago, and it leaves me feeling kind of...euphoric.

From April 13 to April 22, I was on vacation in Europe. This was my first time out of the country (I live in the US), so I was very excited and eager.

I went on a package trip that consisted of touring five countries in ten days. For anyone that has never done a trip like that before, let me tell you. It was *grueling.* The constant packing and traveling by bus, train, or boat was exhausting. I was lucky the group I was with were so good. It could've been hell.

Anyway, the trip was with a touring company called Globus, and this package was called the European Sampler. The tour began in London (in England), then went to Amsterdam (in Holland), Cologne and the Black Forest (in Germany), Lucern (Switzerland) and Paris (France).

London, when I first arrived, was a shocker. The driving is so different from America, the money system...I was shell-shocked. Because of that, I didn't really enjoy London as much as, thinking back now, I could have. I had been traveling for 10 hours straight, and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. (Which I did time I got to the hotel). Plus it was rainy, wet and cold. Coming from a place that was always hot and dry, even in winter, I wasn't a very happy camper. But once the skies cleared that afternoon, I spent my days in London getting lost, sightseeing, going to the pub (Queen Head's Pub two blocks from Hammersmith street) and loving the trees. (The trees there are BEAUTIFUL!)

Next was Amsterdam. Talk about different! Anybody who hears the word 'Amsterdam' automatically thinks 'Red Light District,' and that was *exactly* where I went. The hookers were hot, but the guys were a disappointment. But the coffee shops were great. Man, I got so high, I kept losing my money in my *wallet*. (I'm not kidding).

Germany, I didn't get to do much in. I didn't understand any German, and they didn't know much English, so I stayed in my hotel room much of the time. (Much of that was to recover from Amsterdam!) But the Black Forest was great. It really *does* look black!

Lucern is...phenominally beautiful. The Alps in the horizon, the lake...it was the perfect picture of serenity. It also damn near bored me to tears. The people there were so quiet and humbled...none of the ruckusness of Americans. Coming from the brashness of London, and the wildness of Amsterdam, I was kind of at a lost. Thankfully, we were in downtown Lucern, where ALL of the stores were. I shopped like there was no tomorrow.

Paris, I'm afraid, was kind of a disappointment. I don't know if it was because I was tired and ready to go home, or the people. I just didn't realize how many social nicities the French had, and I was (apparently) offending all of them. I was really stressed out and annoyed at my lack of understanding. Plus the riots had stopped, what, three weeks earlier?...a month?...and the air was still very tense. You could feel it. But I did end up going to Versailles and the Moulin Rouge. (Whoo! The Can-Can!) It was really cool. I wish the men had less clothing though.

That was another thing. No matter where I went, there weren't any hotties. Why? I had hoped to have gotten some ass on this trip! *wails* Where the hell did all the yummy men go? Where were they hiding? *sings* Oh where oh where did my hotties go? Oh where, oh where can they beeeee?!

That's about all I can really tell you. Other memories will pop up after I finish this, I'm sure, or when I look through my pictures. Looking back, if I had to do this again, I would in a heartbeat. But now knowing what I will have to endure, I will NOT be doing this again in the future. This is one of those things you will only do ONE TIME. It was worth it though.

Next stop...Japan!

Going on Vacation!!
Now Playing: No Music
Sorry!

I can't believe I forgot to announce this on the site! I'm going to Europe for 10 days (I live in the US) and won't be back until April 22. I will write as much as I can, although more than than likely I won't get much done. Sorry this is so rushed, but I'm trying to type as I walk out the door. We're leaving now-literally.

Bye!