It's Finally Over
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: 'Video' - India Aire

Wednesday of last week I woke up at 1:30 in the morning in excruciating pain from my left bottom wisdom tooth. I've had pain in my wisdom teeth from time to time for the last five years, but they've always been tolerable and never lasted more than two weeks. But THIS shit was unreal. It was only my third day at the new job so I went, and swallowed Tylenol and peppermints (peppermints always make me feel better; I could lose a leg and I'll want a peppermint), and did what I had to do. But that evening the pain got so intense I couldn't take it. I drove the 2 1/2 hours to San Antonio that night, and called a dentist first thing in the morning. When he took the x-rays he told me that not only was my left tooth impacted like all hell, that so was my right (which I knew, because it was hurting me back in April) and my wisdom teeth on top had actually punctured through, which wasn't good. The ones on top were cutting into my cuts, infecting them. THAT made so much sense. When I brush my teeth they always bleed, but I thought it was from my gums. Whoops. The right bottom tooth was also draining (meaning infected) so I was prescribed antibiotics and vicodin.

This lasted thru the weekend, but the pain was fuckin' unreal. It was like my body said 'yes, we know you're contemplating suicide, but we're still going to get this tooth out.' Sunday night I was so delirious from the pain, my mom made an apointment with another doctor about my teeth, the one that removed hers. When I saw him yesterday, he took one look and said 'no way.' The impactions were so bad he said an oral surgeon was the only one that *could* do it. They immediately sent me to an oral surgeon, and two hours later I was short four teeth.

I don't remember much of anything from yesterday, because I was stoned to the gills. But when I woke this morning, I felt incredible. I don't have any pain in my mouth despite not taking any pain medication (the pain nerves are probably dead by now), I could almost talk normally, and the infection, once the tooth came out, went away immediately. I was probably getting septic and didn't know it. Anyway, my mouth hasn't felt this good since I don't know when, and it's not even twenty four hours post surgery.

Guys, don't fuck around with your teeth. If you think your wisdom teeth or anything are acting up, yank those puppies out. This was one hell of a painful lesson to learn. I couldn't go thru this shit again.

Best yet was my family. There were there for me in ways that I have never been for them. It took everything I had not to start bawling in gratitude this morning. I wish I had something to give them that could equal the value of all they've done for me, but I know I never could. It would never be enough.

I Hate My Apartment
Mood:  down
Now Playing: 'Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn' - The White Stripes

I'm up and running. I bought that Sprint wireless card that can be used anywhere where there's Sprint coverage. Thank God. The thought that I could go practically anywhere and still have I-Net service is damn near making me cream my pants. Now, on to other news...

I HATE my apartment.

I knew right when I drove up that the shit wasn't going to work. It didn't look exactly ratty, but it had the appearance of a place that was falling apart and being cleverly glued back together. You couldn't see the loose screws, but you knew they were there. Know what I mean?

The furnishings are outstanding, the best I've had yet actually. But the AC is not working too good. My apartment is cooler than outside, but still pretty warm on the inside. The carpet is so stained it disgusts the hell outta me, and the humidity is making the carpet moist. That is disgusting the hell outta me too. I refuse to take my shoes off. It's also giving off this... odor. I hate stinky smells, because I'm around them all day. Having to deal with it here too is just too much.

I've had to fix the toilet, twice.

The stove is missing an eye.

The sink and tub are stained with rust, badly. At least, I hope it's rust.

The cabinet doors are slightly warped.

I don't have a microwave. At all. I even checked the closet.

I have stains in my bedroom that appear to have come from a dog's end as he scooted it across the carpet.

There was a dead roach that greeted me when I came in. I hate hate HATE roaches.

The ceiling fan is swinging so bad that I'm afraid it's going to fall off and hit me in the head.

I'm not willing to think on it more. It has been so frustrating, that I'm tempted to call my recruiter and tell her that I quit. But I think about all that I have accomplished so far, and how unhappy I would be going back home. It's not where I want to be. I love traveling, I'm just not happy with this contract. I don't want to be bothered, but I need the money.

What's really pissing me off is that one of my traveler buddies got a gig in Denver, Colorado. I was so jealous when he told me I'm surprised he didn't burst into flames over the phone. I hated him very much at that moment. But I threatened to visit him, and he threatened me that I'd better, so I feel a little bit better about it now.

Well, I'm going to read for a bit. I'm so pissed I'm getting a migraine. Lord, guide me through this before I blow up this city.

Next Stop: Corpus Christi!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: None

Hey guys! Just letting you know you won't hear from me for a couple of days. My next assignment starts Monday, in Corpus Christi. I will be leaving hopefully in an hour, as soon as I get the rest of my shit packed. I know for a fact that they don't have the internet, so I'm afraid I'll be without for hopefully no longer than a week. It'll still be agony though.

Argh.

I'm Back Home!
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: John Legend - 'Ordinary People'

Hey hey!

Well, I'm back home in Texas. It's kinda nice to be back. I missed my family and it's good to see them. The last time I visited, I was only staying for a week and I spent that week trying to buy a new vehicle, setting up the wedding arrangements for my best friend and other shit I can't remember. It was stressful. This time around though, I have a month off (my next contract starts the 13th of August) and have nothing planned except to lay on my ass, write and shop.

Speaking of writing, there was a slight...mishap with BiS. First off, my laptop mysteriously crashed. (Darn Itunes. This was the fourth time it did when I used ITunes.) But this time when it crashed, I couldn't get it up and working again. I had saved what I had of BiS on a disc, so I was like, 'no worries, I'll update when I get back home.' Unfortunately, when I got home, the disc had an...accident during the drive. I can't find all the pieces. I wanted to get pissed off and throw a fit, but I couldn't. I was too happy to be back home with all my electronic toys, and other stuff I can't bring with me thru my travels. So this week I'm going to break down and buy a jump drive with other stuff. I guess from now on I'll have to make backups of the backups. Don't worry, I'm working on the chapter again, as well TFM and making copies of everything AGAIN. Jesus Christ.

And I bought the final Harry Potter book! It breaks my heart that this is the final one.

Watch me not read it until the 7th movie comes out. That's so like me.

Winding Down, Toughing Up
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: System of a Down - 'Atwa'

Wow, it's been a while! And boy do I have some interesting things to tell you!

Where should I start... oh yeah. A month or so ago my fellow traveling nurses and I went to a bar in Scottsdale called "Sugardaddies." We had a good time, but my friends and I were not... thinking clearly due to alcohol consumption when we left. ^__^ Anyway, one of the guys we were with had to pee, and he didn't feel like going back inside to use the bathroom. Now, where I live in Texas, and where the others live (they're from Texas too), there are alot of fields about. When you're driving, and it may be a good hour or three before you run across a gas station, you learn to carry napkins/toilet paper in your car. (Especially when you're a traveling nurse). So when he started pissing in the parking lot, I thought nothing of it. In fact, I thought it was hilarious! I started taking pictures of it when I turned around and noticed a squad car. (I swear to GOD he came out of the air!) The cop quickly pulled my friend aside and read him the riot act, while another cop came to me and bashed me for allowing my friend to "degrade the city in such an act." He was right and I was sorry, but I think he took my silence as dissassent, and read me the riot act for that too. I was okay with that. If I tried to be my normal, smart-assed self, he wouldn't be able to help but notice my slurred words. Hell, *I* noticed it and I was drunk!

It went downhill from there. We couldn't give them our apartment addresses, only our permanent addresses, which they didn't want. They wanted where we were staying in Arizona. Hell, I don't know where I live! I just know how to get there from work and vice versa. The other travelers didn't know either. I remember at one point, a cop yelled, "Is there any one of you that is an Arizona resident?" None of us raised our hands. So then the cops chewed all of our asses out. Any other person would've been intimidated I'm sure. I just wanted them to go away so I could pee in the bushes.

I came out of my stupor when the cops arrested my friend. I didn't think it would come to that. So the rest of us rushed off to Scottsdale jail. What a shitty way to end an evening. Trust me, hanging out at a jail til five in the morning to bail your friend out is no fun, especially on an empty stomach and full bladder.

It especially sucked when they made me take a breathilizer test. I was the only one okay enough to drive, but I had to do the test or else the cops wouldn't let any of us go. That really, really sucked. I had to keep blowing in that tube for so long I thought my forehead was gonna pop off.

What else... work has been an absolute mess. The clinical manager does not know what she's doing, and it shows everytime she opens her mouth. She's been forgeting patients in the schedules. She's had her facts totally wrong. She's changed doctor's orders on her whim. She's been giving out the wrong information, and she's been making poor decisions. We're also expecting State to come anyday now, to evaluate us to see if we're adhering to policy and procedure. Each time they're supposed to come, she's had to suddenly be in California to take her sick sister to the doctor, and she'll leave the night before. I'll come to work and find an email or note saying she's out of state, and for me to call so-and-so if State comes. That chickenshit.

Work is also a mess because of two new-hires. One is this cocky guy who thinks he's hot shit. His girlfriend calls several times a day, as well as his wife. Both are trying to sway me to their side as to why they should be with him, and both don't seem to realize that when I tell them, "I could give a shit," that I mean it, or when I tell them, "How 'bout you blow me instead?" that I mean that too. He seems to think I'm very entertaining. Well, he can blow me too.

The other new hire is crazy. Literally. She also has to be on drugs. She disappears, and no one knows where she is, then she suddenly reappears. She always sneaking off, always having doctor's appointments, or has to leave work early for this and that. She doesn't do what she's told, or she tries to do shit that she has no business doing. Her manner is unprofessional, and everyday she looks as if she got into a bar fight, than immediately came to work. The manager is too chickenshit to fire her, and I've bloody hell had it with this girl. She is not safe enough to work on patients unsupervised, and her training has been over for three weeks. For someone who says she has six years experience as a dialysis technician, that's unbelieveable and unacceptable. She either lied on her application, or she lied on her application.

Hmm... I joined a yoga studio. Every time I go I think they're trying to kill me to get ahold of my SpongeBob keychain.

If you're ever in Phoenix, Fort McDowell casino is awesome. But don't talk in the Bingo room. Those mother fuckers are serious about their Bingo. (Please don't ask me how I know. It's embarrassing as all hell).

My mother visited last week, and stayed for a week. (During her visit the 'Bingo' incident occurred). We went to the movies, shopping, the casino, saw Sedona and the Grand Canyon. (I'll tell about Sedona and the GC in another entry). When she left I cried. I miss her terribly.

Okay, last words:

Sugardaddies is awesome.

Fort McDowell is awesome.

Sedona and the Grand Canyon are awesome.

Any shopping mall is awesome.

Phoenix is utterly, utterly beautiful. Arizona should be proud.

I'm In Phoenix!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: IPod's downloads
Hey all. Belated Happy Holidays.

Well, I'm on my second nursing assignment, in Tempe Arizona, although my apartment is in Phoenix. I've been here since..er..the 13th, I think. I *still* had living arrangement issues when I got here. The power wasn't turned on. *makes face* And there was a problem with my internet, which I wasn't able to get until last night. *makes bigger face* Other than that, things have gone okay. Plus there's no deer head. That's a big, big plus.

I haven't been able to see much. I've seen downtown Tempe, which was okay. I didn't spend any time going to the bars or anything, so I didn't get the true vibe of the small town. It was very pretty though.

Just driving around Phoenix when I've gotten hella-lost was something. The mountains are gorgeous enough, but at sunset...it's un-fucking-believable. If heaven looks like that, we won't miss Earth.

Does anyone live(d) in Phoenix that knows the hot spots? Touristy things to do? Suggestions are welcome!

Gotta go rescue my brownies. Later y'all!!

God damnit!: Part 2
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: 'If I Were Your Woman' - Alicia Keys
Okay. I'm calm now, but not calm enough to start working on the chapter again. I need a bit more time to mellow out. Probably another day or two.

God. Ya'll have no idea how truly mind-blowingly pissed I was.

I can't wait until I see my family tomorrow. I really, really need a hug.

It's not that I can't just spit out what I had before. I don't think I can. For those of you that write, you know that you have to be in a certain mind-frame to do that, and I haven't been in that mind-frame for a long time. I haven't been writing alot lately, one, because of my assignment, but also, now it turns out the landlord for the place I'm staying in during this assignment has been coming in and out, looking through the cabin and my stuff. I don't know why. I found out when he issued a complaint against me that I had something I wasn't supposed to have (space heaters) and that one had to be removed. Considering that I have the windows closed and blocked up right now because of the cold weather, the only way he could have known about the heaters was if he has been INSIDE to see them. I haven't reported any needed maintainence, and I told my recruiter such. I also told her that if I came home and saw the cunt inside for any reason, I was going to knife his ass. So it's been hell sleeping at night, knowing that the son of a bitch was probably trying on my underwear or something.

God, I'm so tired of everything right now. I'm going to bed.

God damnit!
Mood:  on fire
I HAVE GOD DAMN HAD IT!!

It's bad enough that my day at work was hella-shitty, okay? I was working on the next installment for TFM. Now, ALL I had to do was finish the chapter! I had MAYBE another half a page, and I would've been done. So what happens? THE GOD DAMN DISC ATE IT!!!!

That's right. NO chapter. I went to SAVE it--it gave me an error message--and then kicked me out. I went, 'what the fuck,' tried to open the file, and now it's asking me to reformat because it can't open it. And not only that, I have all of the Saga series on one disc. That's right ya'll, the stupid thing ate the entire, god damn series. I'm so pissed right now, I don't know what to do with myself. This has happened several times before, and it's always been with this series. I'm so fuckin' sick and tired of having to go back and download and change weird symbols that pop up and find the most recent revisions...I just can't do it now. I quit saving it to the hard drive because my brother would download shit and viruses would eat them up, so I lost extra copies that way... he kept breaking the fuckin' zip drive too, so I lost my other copy, and the final copy of the series I DO have is still in Texas, and I won't be back until January, MAYBE!!

AHHHHHH!!!!

Umm...hi
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Dreaming - 'System of a Down'
I'm bored. And I'm hungry.

I just posted the next chapter for BiS, and now that that's accomplished, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't feel like working on the next chapter. I don't feel like working on TFM. It's 12:14 at night, and I'm wide awake, listening to System of a Down. Not the type of music that induces sleeping. *starts head banging*

My brother is coming to Chicago this weekend, and I'm so excited about it. On the weekends when I'm off, I intend to go up there just to be with my family. I thank God that I got this weekend off to be with him AND my dad. Hopefully, this will be awesome, so I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe that's why I feel so restless.

Anyone know of any good places to hit in Canada? It doesn't make sense for me to be a few hours from the border and not go. Hell, maybe I could make a couple of weekends of it.

Ooohhh. There was a commercial on about oreos. Yummy.

Hmm. I don't feel like typing anymore.

Adios.

My First Assignment
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: No music
Ah. The internet. How life went on without it, I can't imagine.

Well, I'm finally (somewhat) settled into my new place, and it's been everything but pleasant. My first assignment as a travel nurse is in Kankakee, Illinois, which is an hour south of Chicago.

So far, I'm not having a good time. I've been here two weeks, and it feels like it's been two months. I arrived on September 30th, after driving up 20 hours from Texas. Since I drove up with my mom, we spent about, oh, 19 1/2 hours arguing.

The place I was supposed to move in to was occupied, which I knew already. So I had to stay in a hotel for two weeks until the people moved out. Okay. I was fine with that. The Holiday Inn I was staying in was awesome, so I was pretty content...for all of five seconds.

I've been living on my own for a while now, but this is the first time I've been away from everything I knew. Where I'm working now is completely different from what I was trained to do, and I feel completely over my head, and incompetent. My shift is 8 hours, which really bugs the shit outta me. Yeah, 12-13 hour days sucked, but then I'd only work 3 or 4 days a week. This 5-day-a-week shit I'm not digging at all.

Not only did I feel incompetent (and still do), I had gotten a case of homesickness that had me bawling for days. Ya'll, I hadn't cried in over six years. And in one week I had cried more than I had in my entire life. I cried as I got ready for work, on my break, and on my drive home. I couldn't get my shit together no matter what. I was seriously contemplating breaking my contract. That was how depressed I became.

But then the place I was supposed to move into was ready. I was happy at first. The area I'm in now is a bunch of million-dollar homes...except for mine.

I'm in a cabin. My house is a god damn cabin.

At first I thought it was cool. It was furnished of course, with TV's, cable, working bathroom, huge closet space, and a loft on the second floor with my bed. To reach it, I have to go up a latter. Really cool. Next, my backyard is the Kankakee River. Literally. I go out my door, walk ten feet down, and bam. The river. Nothing is holding it back from the land, so I can walk right into the river if I want to. My neighbor canoes in it every day.

But I'm afraid that's where the fun stops. I was here for a good hour, and discovered some serious faults. One was no internet. I would have to set that up and pay for it. Shit. Another problem was that my cellphone didn't work out here, and I would have to get a landline and pay for that as well. Shit again. The next problem was the washing machine/dryer. They were in the garage. In Texas, houses are built with the washer/dryer in the house, or if in the garage, there is a door that leads TO the garage. Not here. I have to go OUTSIDE to get to the garage, and open it. When I went to close it, it got stuck. I had been here a whole hour when that happened, and had to wait another hour for the service people to come and fix it.

Next was the smell. It smelled like a cabin. (Big stretch there). But I didn't know until then that I didn't LIKE the smell of cabins. So I would have to buy a bunch of smell stuff and candles to fix that. Shit, shit, shit.

Next, and I kid you not, there is a god damn deer head on the wall. Now, I come from Texas. I have seen many a live deer, and nearly hit a few as well. I don't need a fuckin' deer head on my wall. Worse yet, it's angled towards the couch. So when I'm watching TV, it's watching me. And when I go to bed at night, I swear it winks at me. I want it gone.

NEXT, whoever previously stayed here had a cat. Now, I'm not an animal hater, but I don't have too much love for them either. But I can't STAND cats, and there was cat hair all over the place. I mean ALL OVER. There was cat hair all over the couch, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the mirrors... everywhere! I was so fucking disgusted! I could tell the company tried to clean it up as best as they could, but it's cat hair. There was only so much they could do. So I had to order slipcovers, which cost me $130. I feel much, much better now that they're covered, but I could still smell the cat whenever I land too hard.

NEXT AGAIN, is the heat. It snowed on Thursday, and the temperature plummeted. I turned on the heat, and discovered, to my dismay, that the heat didn't work very well. No matter how high I turned it up, it was programmed not to exceed 65 degrees, and I couldn't figure out how to override that. Plus the heat didn't work too great anyway. It wouldn't heat up the entire cabin, just the kitchen. It was 52 degrees when I woke up Friday morning. Outside, it was 60. That made no god damn sense. So I bought an electric blanket, and today I finally got off my ass and bought two space heaters. Those cost about $80, the blanket $60.

What else could I say about this place...

(1) The lighting isn't very good. I have to turn on damn near all of them to see.

(2) The microwave is disgusting. It needs replacing.

(3) I have bruises all up and down my legs (and broke the hell out of the skin of my knee) because I keep nearly falling down that stupid, stupid piece of shit latter.

(4) The wildlife here is ridiculous. We have deer, possums, squirrels, ducks, coyotes and racoons. Racoons. I don't like racoons.

(5) Another problem is the foliage. The trees here are walnut trees, and now the walnuts are mature and falling off. But they fall hard, and ricochet all over the place. The first time I heard it fall, it sounded like someone was knocking on the door. I'm afraid I'll get beamed in the head or that one will break my windshield.

(6) The walnuts hitting the roof keep me up at night. And when they don't, the ducks do.

(7) The first twenty minutes I was here, I lost the keys to the place. I've only found one. I have no idea where the other key is, and it'll be my ass if I don't get another made.

I'm trying to stick it out since I had to go thru so much hell to get situated in the first place. We'll see. But I hope to God that things improve drastically this week, or else I won't know what to do. I'm at the end of my rope, and I don't think I'll be able to tolerate much more. My contract ends December 6, and right now I don't think I'll even make it thru tomorrow.

I've never been one to need comfort, but I'd kick ass for some lovin' right now.