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All I Can Do
by Moon Momma

Chapter 10

* * * * * * * *

Naru felt restless. Once the burning in her chest eased and she could catch her breath, she went upstairs. She was trying not to get her hopes up; Topaz wasn't going to make it so easy for Nephrite to find the baby. But Topaz had come back. There had to be a gate somewhere, and Nephrite could go through and get their baby. The three of them, Nephrite, Jadeite, and Kunzite, should be strong enough to fight Topaz if they had to, to get the baby.

She opened her bottom dresser drawer and took out some packages she had bought when shopping with Usagi for wedding clothes. Usagi had been so wrapped up in picking out and trying on clothes, shoes, and makeup that she hadn't noticed Naru quietly slip away to make these other purchases. One package contained little blue-striped terrycloth pajamas, the second was a set of three flannel blankets printed with bunnies and hearts. Third was a package of diapers. She had wanted to be prepared for when Nephrite found their baby and brought him home.

Naru debated with herself for a long time. She shouldn't get her hopes up. Topaz wasn't going to make it easy. But finally she couldn't help herself. She tore open the package of pajamas and took out a pair. Holding them up, she marveled that an actual human being could be small enough to fit in them. The little feet dangled limply. They looked funny, waiting for a baby's feet to fill them out. Gently, Naru folded the pajamas and set them on her lap, then opened the package of blankets. She held one against her face, feeling the softness of the fabric, thinking how it was just the thing to keep a baby warm and cozy.

Was Topaz taking care of her baby? Did he have pajamas and soft blankets and a safe, warm place to sleep? The thought that he might not have these things filled Naru with a pain that was part sorrow and part anger. If her baby had not been cared for, if he had gone cold or hungry or lonely or frightened for even one second, she was going to kill Topaz with her bare hands and enjoy it. After taking a disposable diaper from the third package, Naru carried pajamas, blanket, and diaper downstairs, and settled in on the couch to wait for Nephrite and the others to return.

* * * * * * * *

Nephrite and Jadeite followed a very unsteady Kunzite to the clearing where he had fallen prey to Topaz. "No gate here," Nephrite said. A moment later Jadeite nodded, agreeing with Nephrite's assessment. "Which way did they go?" the blond man asked.

Mutely, Kunzite pointed out the direction, and the three of them started through the woods again. The ground was wet from melting snow, and the two sets of footprints were easy to follow. Kunzite finally broke the silence. "How could I have been so stupid? I should have known."

"She's like a natural disaster, Kunzite," Nephrite said. "There's nothing you can do except hope to survive.

"Maybe she put you under a spell," Jadeite added.

"That's what I thought, but she said she didn't --" Kunzite stopped walking. "Of course she did. How did she know what I was thinking?"

"I don't like this," Jadeite said. "I mean, she's managed to force both of you to do things you never would have done otherwise. You guys never even had a chance. How do we defend -"

The three of them stopped abruptly at the edge of another clearing. There was clothing scattered about on the new grass. Most of it was Zoisite's, but there was also a long, sleeveless white dress. "That's the dress she was wearing," Kunzite said. Jadeite put an arm around his shoulders to steady him.

Nephrite was already walking around the clearing, looking for a gate. Nothing. Absolutely damn nothing. He let loose with a blistering streak of swearing.

"Quite an impressive vocabulary, General."

At the seductive voice, he spun around. Topaz hovered about eight feet above the center of the clearing, wearing her usual gray coatdress, arms crossed, smiling.

Nephrite strode towards her. "I want my son!"

"Now, now, big boy, are you going back on our bargain? Your son for the girl's life. Remember?"

Kunzite broke free of Jadeite's' grasp and ran towards Topaz. "Where's Zoisite?"

"Zoisite has sworn loyalty to me. Unlike you, I won't betray his trust."

Kunzite raised his hands, and a silvery-pink energy blade appeared in each.

"If you kill me, there will be no one left to open the gate." Topaz smiled. "Then Zoisite and the baby will be trapped forever where they are."

Kunzite let the energy blades disappear. Nephrite clenched his fists, glaring at the woman.

A narrow black oval opened behind Topaz, and she turned to step through. She looked back over her shoulder at the three men. "Fools. Caring too much about the wrong things." She laughed and stepped through the gate, which disappeared as Nephrite lunged toward it. He fell to his knees on the muddy ground, swearing. All traces of the gate were gone, as though it had never existed.

* * * * * * * *

Naru jumped up from the couch when she heard the front door open. Her heart pounded painfully as she watched Jadeite walk in, followed by Kunzite and Nephrite. It took her a moment to realize that Nephrite was not carrying the baby. His arms were empty. He looked at her, his blue eyes sorrowful, then looked down. He held his hands out to the side, then let them fall in a helpless gesture.

Naru clutched the baby things, the little pajamas and blanket and diaper, to her heart. She had no right to feel so disappointed, she told herself. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up. But that didn't stop the cry that built up inside her and finally tore loose. Sobbing and shaking, she huddled over the pieces of flannel and terrycloth and the paper diaper, all she had of her baby. She was barely aware of Nephrite as he came and sat beside her. He pulled her into his arms and held her, rocking her gently back and forth without saying a word.


Jadeite was walking in the early spring woods one afternoon. In the three weeks since Zoisite's disappearance, a heavy depression had settled over the house. Kunzite spent whole days sitting at the kitchen table, doing nothing, saying nothing, staring at nothing. One day, Jadeite had walked in to find him toying with a sharp chopping knife.

"What's with that?" Jadeite asked carefully.

"It's all my fault." Kunzite's deep voice sounded flat and hollow. "I shouldn't have listened to her. I should die for what I did to him."

Jadeite tried to think fast. "That wouldn't be very helpful to Zoisite, would it? If you killed yourself, the only person that would help is Topaz. You don't want to do that, do you?"

After a moment, Kunzite shook his head. Jadeite took the knife from Kunzite's unresisting fingers. Still, he had had to talk Kunzite out of suicide two more times since then.

Nephrite had made no further attempts to find his son. He immersed himself in his business and in Naru, but there was an edge of desperation in his two passions, as though he found no joy in them but was only using them to fight off an encroaching darkness. When Naru was depressed and crying, which was often, and Nephrite was too wrapped up in wheeling and dealing over the phone or the computer, lost to the world, it was Jadeite who tried to cheer her up, making lame promises that everything would be all right and trying to coax a smile out of her with cookies or chocolate or stupid jokes. When the walls around Nephrite's emotions started to crumble and he began to spiral down into fits of undirected rage, it was Jadeite who talked him down and reminded him that the proper target for his anger was not in range.

It was Jadeite who kept the household running. He made sure food was bought, prepared, and eaten, laundry was done, and alcohol kept out of the house. Kunzite and Nephrite both drunk was more than one household could handle. Through it all, Jadeite was keenly aware of how different he was from the others. Their depression and anger was due to loss - Kunzite had lost his lover, Naru and Neph had lost their son. Jadeite had no one to lose. In the Dark Kingdom, he had mostly been left alone, and had been happy with that. He hadn't liked being around the others, and they never liked being around him. Which had suited him fine. But now he was lonely, lonelier than he had ever imagined he could be.

Jadeite stomped through the springtime woods, thinking about the last three weeks of playing housekeeper, nurse, nanny, and psychiatrist to the other three. He reminded himself that it was Topaz he should be angry with, not Kunzite, Nephrite, and Naru, the innocent victims of her ruthless, vicious machinations. But why couldn't they make some effort to try to deal with it? Why was he the one who had to do everything for them? Be fair, he told himself. Nephrite and Naru's baby and Kunzite's lover were stolen away. They're not going to just snap out of it. What have you lost? You've no reason to be complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.

"Giving you a hard time, aren't they?"

Jadeite stopped abruptly at the sound of Topaz's voice. She was hovering in the treetops in front of him, tugging at one of the tendrils of hair in front of her ears. Not for the first time, he wished he had Kenichi's gun with one more bullet in it. "You're the one making all the trouble, Topaz."

"Do they ever say "Thank you" for everything you do for them?"

"Yes." Sometimes.

"I mean, in proportion to what you do. You're practically keeping them alive single-handedly, aren't you?"

"I'm glad to do whatever I can for them. They're my friends."

"And look at you." Topaz's voice dripped with false pity. "Worn nearly down to the bone, poor thing."

"I'm not interested in what you have to say." He tried to fight down his anger. Easy. Maybe she'll show me where the gate is this time, and I can get Zoisite and the baby, and this will all be over.

"Do you think any of them would care if something happened to you? They'd notice, certainly, if you weren't there to feed them and humor them and clean up after them. But besides that, do you think it would matter to them if something bad happened to you? They're so wrapped up in the ones they really care about, do you think they would spare any feelings for you?"

"I don't care if they would or not. I'm just doing what needs to be done. I don't need their gratitude or their pity." Despite his words, he wondered. Would they care if something happened to him? Would anyone grieve over him the way Kunzite grieved over Zoisite or Nephrite and Naru mourned their son?

Topaz smiled, and Jadeite had the unpleasant feeling that she had read his mind. "Why don't we just find out?" Before Jadeite could react, she thrust out a hand and sent a wave of black energy surging toward him. Jadeite barely had time to scream, let alone try to evade the attack. Darkness slammed into him --

* * * * * * * *

Everything was dark and silent. He could feel the cool dampness of the earth, a sharp rock beneath his head, but he couldn't move. Experimentally, he took a deep breath. He was still alive. But he couldn't see or hear or move. He drew another breath and tried to call for help, but no sound came. Panic grew in him; his breathing became faster, building to a cry that had no outlet. It was like the crystal all over again, except he was trapped in his own body. No sight, no sound, no voice, no movement, no way of reaching out to the world, no way of sensing the outside world except through touch, which meant pain.

How long had he been lying here? How long would he lie here before they noticed he was missing and came to look for him? Would he lie here, conscious and able to feel, but deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed, until he starved to death? Would carrion-eaters start on him before then? He was powerless to scream....

* * * * * * * *

"Jadeite?" Nephrite came downstairs from his study. He wanted to ask Jadeite's opinion on some goods he was thinking of ordering. It seemed like an iffy investment, but could pay off big. "Naru-chan, have you seen Jadeite anywhere?"

Naru was curled up on the couch listening to a CD and reading the liner notes. She was making her way through the complete works of Bach, which Nephrite had told her was essential to her education. "No. He went out for a walk." She sorted through the pile of CD cases beside her. "It must have been four hours ago when he left. I've listened to all this since then."

Four hours. Nephrite let loose with some words unfit for Naru's ears, then went into the kitchen. Kunzite was at the table, as usual, except today the table was littered with papers. Nephrite picked one up; it was covered with sketches and short verses. Kunzite was scribbling madly on yet another piece of paper. He looked up and saw Nephrite holding the sheet of paper. "Hey, give me that!"

Nephrite held the paper up out of Kunzite's reach as the silver-haired man tried to grab it. "This isn't half bad, you know."

"I didn't write it for you to read," Kunzite growled.

Nephrite let the paper fall back to the table. "Never mind. Jadeite's missing. Naru says he went out for a walk four hours ago."

Kunzite stared at him for a moment, as the news penetrated his grief- and poetry-numbed brain. "Damn." He jumped up from the table. "Let's go."

Naru insisted on coming along, and the three of them searched all over the wooded hillsides, calling Jadeite's name. It was getting dark and cold when Naru tripped over something. She looked back at what she had fallen over. Jadeite's body. She screamed.

He lay on his back, staring wide-eyed at the sky, a trickle of blood coming out from beneath his head. He looked dead. Then Naru saw his chest rise and fall in a deep breath. She put her hand over his heart, and felt it beating slowly but steadily. "Nephrite, Kunzite, I found him!" she called. "Jadeite, are you all right?"

He didn't respond, he gave no sign he even heard her. Naru passed her hand in front of his eyes; he didn't blink or follow the movement. Nephrite reached her side, followed shortly by Kunzite. "He's alive -- I saw him breathing," Naru said, "but he doesn't seem to be able to move or hear or see."

Kunzite knelt beside Jadeite and gently lifted the fallen man's head. "He must have hit his head on this rock when he fell," Kunzite said, "but that doesn't seem like enough to knock him out like this. Come on, let's get him home." With Nephrite's help, Kunzite carefully lifted Jadeite into his arms.

"Look," Naru said. Lightly, she touched Jadeite's face. A single tear was trickling from each eye. "He must be able to feel. He knows we're helping him."

"He can't move, he can't see or hear or speak," Nephrite said. "It must be like being trapped in the crystal again... Topaz."

"Not again," Naru whispered. Nephrite held her tightly, then, seeing that she was tired, picked her up and carried her back to the house, behind Kunzite and Jadeite.

* * * * * * * *

Something bumped into him. A moment later, a hand rested on his chest, feeling for a heartbeat. Hands lifted his head from the sharp rock that had been causing such agony for -- how long? Gentle hands, warm strong arms picked him up from the cold ground, carried him home.

Stripped of damp clothes, washed, dressed in warm pajamas, settled into bed. He was hungry, but how could he tell them? Would they guess he needed to eat? Could he eat, or did his paralysis doom him to starve to death?

Propped up against a warm, solid body, something fragrant brought near his face -- broth. A hot spoon slipped between his lips. He could feel some of the broth dribbling down his chin, but some of it reached the back of his tongue and he involuntarily swallowed. Over and over again, the person who was feeding him taking time between each spoonful to wipe up what spilled down his chin and neck. He felt both overwhelmingly grateful and humiliated.

* * * * * * * *

Naru and Nephrite lay in bed late that night. "I'm scared," Naru said, her head resting on Nephrite's chest. His arms tightened around her, but he didn't say anything. "Aren't you going to tell me to not be scared?"

"No," he said softly. A moment later he added, "I'm scared too."

"What's she going to do next?"

"I don't know, love."


Topaz looked at her Lords, her very own minions, one on either side of her, and smiled. Soon; they would be ready very soon. She was nearly satisfied with her revenge, not quite but nearly. Then the time would come when she would reach out and take everything that should have been hers. She would have everything her mother had had, and more. It was her birthright.

Topaz lay back down between her sleeping Lords. They both shifted closer to her, and each one worked an arm around her bare waist. Kenichi had been banished to the floor beside the bed, where he was out of the way but still readily available should a whim for him take her, which was seldom, any more. The smashed-in place on the back of his head was getting rather disgusting. He wouldn't be usable for much longer. It didn't matter, though, not now that she had two minions of her very own.

Topaz smiled. She would have everything she ever wanted.

* * * * * * * *

return to Index / go to Chapter 11

The Nephrite and Naru Treasury