= = = N = = =

Rachael announces her consciousness with a sharp hissing intake of breath, wincing as the pain strikes her. She pulls at a restrained hand, then opens her eyes to glare at me narrowly.

“Well,” I say quietly, watching her. “Here we are again. This is getting tiresome, Rachael.”

“Why can’t you just let me go?” she complains, re-closing her eyes.

“With what you can do? You’ll fight for me. You’ll make a wonderful warrior…once I finally teach you some obedience.”

“I’d never fight for you,” she growls, a tear leaking out from her tightly shut eyes. “You’re nothing but a bloody vampire. I won’t let you use people like this.”

“Let me?” I echo, grimly amused and affronted by her defiance. “You can’t stop me. No one can – not once I’ve got all my powers back.”

“Sailor Moon could. Nephrite…maybe she could help you.”

“Sailor Moon is a brainless child,” I dismiss, growing angrier.

“No – she’s a woman now. And she defeated Beryl – as a child.”

“We don’t know that,” I argue, my voice rising. I get up abruptly, pacing the room.

“No? Then where is the Dark Kingdom? Why can’t you get home?” she taunts me. “You know it’s the truth. Beryl and everything else is gone…but you’re still her puppet. You know the difference between good and evil. You’re just determined to ignore it. Naru would be ashamed of you.”

A surge of pure rage floods over me and I turn on Rachael, fists clenched, an atom away from destroying her. She catches my expression and stares, silenced and terrified.

“You’re remarkably heedless for a woman in your position,” I tell her, once my blood has ceased to boil. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, refocusing myself. “We’re getting off topic.”

Rachael pulls at her bonds now, without much hope, her eyes showing panic and fear.

“You left again, without permission. This time you’ll be punished.”

“I had to leave, Nephrite,” she protests desperately, her voice quavering. “I can’t stand by and let you hurt people. I can’t.”

I raise my hands, reaching out towards her.

“Let me show you how Beryl rewards disobedience,” I say quietly, shuddering inwardly at my own memories of what she’s about to endure. Quickly, before this can translate into pity and weakness, I send the wave of energy over her…

There are no screams of agony – it’s a horribly quiet business. Rachael’s body convulses then freezes…every muscle flexed to its utmost…every nerve alive with torment.

“You will do what I say,” I tell her quietly, knowing from experience that she can still hear me. “Whatever I say. And you will never mention Naru’s name again.”

I wait a few long seconds more, until I know her lungs scream for oxygen…then I release her. First – a desperate noisy gasp for air…and then a flood of tears, both of relief and horror. I take a seat next to her on the bed, quietly reflecting on my own reaction to the experience. There were tears for me too – though silent ones…and I shiver remembering my body’s reaction to the incredible agony…almost more than the mind can endure.

I reach a hand out to slide it alongside her wet face, trying to comfort her…trying to show her she’s not utterly alone – as I was.

“It’s alright,” I whisper. “It’s over now. And you’ll never know it again. So long as you obey me.” It’s not a threat. It was supposed to be a comfort. But Rachael stuns me.

“I won’t,” she vows through clenched teeth, refusing to open her eyes, craning her head away from my gentle touch.

I stare, dumbfounded. I’ve never known such defiance. It’s beyond comprehension.

“Do you want it again?” I demand, empathy leaving me, replaced by frustration…exasperation.

“No…please no…,” she whimpers, her body trying to curl defensively despite its bonds.

“Then say it. Give me your word. You will obey me. Whatever I say.”

“You must promise me…,” she begs in reply. “You won’t hurt any more innocent people. You’ll leave them alone. Promise me that, and I’ll do anything you wish…anything you say…”

“You aren’t in the position to bargain for anything!” I shout at her, furious that she should try to dictate terms to me.

“I can’t agree, Nephrite,” she sobs. “I can’t do it. I can’t…”

Beyond furious, I let her have it again, not even pausing to consider whether she can stand it…my own body trembling…my own breath held as she holds hers. And when I release her at last, her wild inhalation fills me with relief…I haven’t killed her. But I lean over her, taking her shoulders, shaking her slightly – trying to get her to focus on me and forget the desolation…trying to determine if her mind has survived.

“Rachael. Answer me, Rachael,” I urge her, increasingly panicked. She’s hardly even crying…tears run down her cheeks, but she makes no sound. She won’t open her eyes.

“Please…say something,” I plead. Her lips move…but I can’t make out a sound. I lower my head to hers, my eyes narrowed with the effort of listening.

She says it again…a barely discernable breath against my ear, “Promise me.”

I sit back up slowly…staring…fighting tears myself, though I couldn’t say why. Unbearable frustration, I suppose.

“If I do it again, you’ll die – you know that,” I say quietly, staring at her lifeless face. “You’ll accept that, will you? You’ll die for the human race?”

A notion strikes me which begins to explain the inexplicable…how she can endure this agony and still have a mind, much less a will…something I have never seen in all my years in the Dark Kingdom. It’s because she’s doing it for someone else…she’s thinking of them. No one back home ever gave a damn for anything but themselves. I suddenly remember Naru – standing above me, defiant – willing to accept death for me…and I staring…feeling similarly dumbfounded.

And then I remember…something I had forgotten…made myself forget. I have done the same...felt the same. When they threatened Naru...what wouldn't I have endured to spare her? I would have acted…did act…the same as this. Accepted death – for her.

I reach a hand down again to stroke Rachael’s cheek, my own face now wet with a few rebel tears.

“What did the human race ever do for you?” I ask tenderly, unsure whether she can even hear me. I shake my head, perplexed but no longer angry.

I undo her bonds, rubbing the reddened skin gently as I remove the ropes, then lie down beside her, gathering her into my arms, and settling her against my chest…cradling her like a child I wish to protect. I bring my face to her hair and kiss her gently.

“You win,” I whisper, feeling somehow only relief, then close my eyes, already nearly sleeping. “I promise.”

An answering whisper floats to me on the very border of consciousness…its tone relieved…perhaps even smiling.

“What you wish. Whatever you wish. You shall have it, master.”