Kunzite
I could never describe the feeling of returning to Earth. On the one hand, I was feverish, deadly afraid that he had somehow disappeared, because I couldn’t pinpoint him – on the other, I sagged with relief and joy, once more in a place where every surface shimmered with the echo of his presence.

His quarters were securely warded, but the shields still parted for just a gentle probe of my mind. At least for now, that was sufficient to be considered an invitation. Unfortunately or otherwise, the rooms were empty. Zoisite had to be practicing shielding techniques, or I would have found his aura by now. Well, if he actually studied for a change, I shouldn’t disturb him. I wasn’t sure I could refrain from improper emotional outbursts anyway. I needed to reacclimatize myself a little first, or this would become just the sort of disaster that I’d gone to Neptune to avoid.

I drank in the signs of his nearness as a desert traveler might devour an oasis. The furniture was essentially the same, and the familiar chaos and untidiness still ruled unopposed, at least in the more private rooms where he didn’t allow the cleaning staff.

Oh. I lifted his hairbrush, in which a few long, copper-golden pieces of hair were caught. I held it for barely a moment before I forced myself to put it back, sinking down on his unmade, cloth-covered bed and wondering what the hell I thought I was doing.

“Kunzite?”

I didn’t need to see his face to recognize that voice, muffled by the door or not. “Nephrite! Yes, it’s me.”

“If you’re planning to stay in there, would you at least open the door and let me in? I do not wish to get caught in the intruder traps he’s wrought after being in such a dark mood.”

“Of course.” I nudged the door open magically, belatedly relived that Zoisite’s spells evidently didn’t react to someone who was already in the room.

It was great to see Nephrite again. I had missed him, even if the feeling had been overshadowed by my longing for Zoisite. He was, after all, my only friend, much as I sometimes resented the right to probe that he seemed to think that that gave him.

We talked for a few minutes, establishing how happy we were to see each other and the main drafts of what we’d been doing while apart. Finally, hesitantly, I asked, “Where’s Zoisite? I can’t get a clear sense of his aura.”

“Oh, that’s not surprising. He’s off with Mamoru and Jadeite to some reception in the Western parts of the kingdom.” Nephrite fiddled with a cushion. “He’s doing pretty well, when he’s not crying or throwing tantrums.”

Why did the words he’s crying hit me like this? I should have known. Hell, on a rational level I had known that he’d cry. It was just that I’d preferred not to think about it. What was worse was my double reaction – guilt, protectiveness, yes, but also a sense of satisfaction that he missed me. Idiot. Of course he does.

“I guess he’s grown too,” I muttered absently, tugging a piece of cloth out from underneath me.

“Yeah,” Nephrite agreed. “Now he might actually reach your armpit if he jumps.”

“This can’t belong to him, though” I said, ignoring my comrade’s words and holding up a rather large shirt.

Nephrite gave me a look. “No, it doesn’t, though he is the one sleeping in it. I think it’s yours, actually.”

“Mine?” Doubt, hope.

“I asked him about it once,” Nephrite continued. “He said it smelled of safety.”

I could have buried my face in the shirt and wept for joy. If I’d been alone, I probably would have.

* * * * * * * *

Mamoru
I turned to the guard impatiently. “Still no sign of her? And you’re sure you’ve looked everywhere?”

“Yes, oujisama. No one’s seen the slightest trace of her since the raid.”

“I see. All right, dismissed.” I cursed softly once he’d disappeared from sight, wishing I’d been alone so that I could have punched the wall undisturbed. Either the darkcreatures had taken Kaguya with them, or there wasn’t enough of her left to identify. Chikuso! I hadn’t really known her, having met her exactly once, but who would not be furious over the disappearance of a perfectly beautiful young girl?

Besides, Mother would have my hide – this encounter with the Western overlords was extremely prestigious. And the Westerners, in general, were barbaric and rebellious, so it was important to impress them with weapons and magic and treasures. Since I’d been trusted to take care of the business and thus would be representing the Golden Kingdom and the Royal House of Chiba, it was vitally important that my date was more beautiful than that of Lord Hertig. Kaguya would have been perfect, especially as Hertig’s mistress was rumored to be a beauty the likes of which the world hadn’t seen in generations.

Even if the rumors lied (and I could safely assume that at least they were exaggerated since it was from Hertig’s subjects that I’d heard them) I still needed to make this work smoothly, because it was the first time Mother had trusted me to take care of something as a capable adult, and if I screwed up, it was likely that I would find myself back under constant surveillance from the guards.

My shoulders slumping wearily, I ascended the high staircase to look for Jadeite and Zoisite. I only really wanted to see the older blonde, but they were likely to be together. I’d been surprised when the youngest Tennou chose to accompany us, and it only got weirder as time went on. I knew that he and Jadeite were friends, yes, but they hadn’t ever been spending this much time in each other’s company for as long as I’d known them. It was almost as if Zoisite was watching over the other, the way he worriedly flitted about. Jadeite, on the other hand, was down in the dumps. He’d been gloomy and apathetic ever since…since Rei-san’s departure, even though that particular event likely wasn’t connected to his dark mood. I felt a twinge of guilt. I’d been too occupied with this damn reception to pay him much attention.

All this considered, I was probably fortunate that Zoisite had tagged along, much as my first surprise had been tainted with apprehension. The pretty little weasel was even fairly nice to me, most of the time, for being him. And that, I chided myself, is a clearer indication than anything else of how worried he is about Jadeite. Because I wasn’t delusional enough to believe that Zoisite had suddenly started to like me. No, hardly.

Much as I’d expected, the two Tennou occupied the same room – the same bed, even. I entered the room just as Zoisite slapped his comrade, who listlessly slumped against the wall.

“Jadeite! Look at me when I’m talking to you! You can’t go on like this, you hear me!”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Jadeite replied rather numbly, still staring vacantly at nothing.

“Idiot,” Zoisite said. It wasn’t the sneer I expected, but spoken softly and intensely. “Of course I worry about you. How could I not after you tried to – ”

He fell silent abruptly as he noticed me, giving me an angry stare. I stayed uncertainly in the doorway until Jadeite finally lifted his gaze and favored me with a nod. “Mamoru. How’s the preparations coming?”

“Most of it’s finished,” I answered, “but Kaguya’s completely vanished, and the damn ball is tonight, and I still don’t have a clue as to whom I could bring. There aren’t all that many girls who can outclass that what’s-her-name.”

Jadeite grinned bleakly. “Why don’t you bring Zoisite?” he suggested.

No way! warred with That’s actually a pretty brilliant plan inside my mind. Say what you want about his nasty temper and childish ideas, the single person I’d ever seen who could match Zoisite’s looks was gone, likely dead, and I sorely doubted that any girl Hertig could dig up would be able to match a Tennou’s enchanted beauty.

If we could refrain from killing each other, it would be a blast.

“There is absolutely no way in hell,” Zoisite established crisply.

“And here I was looking forward to seeing you in a nice little dress,” Jadeite teased weakly.

“Jadeite!” Zoisite cried, positively scandalized.

“Never mind,” Jadeite said in a dull voice. “Look, you have no reason to care about anything I say. I’m no one important to you.”

“Oh, so that’s…” Zoisite exclaimed. The next moment he had both hands around Jadeite’s face, forcing the other boy to meet his gaze and half-embracing him in the process. “Jadeite, as my friend and my brother, I love you.”

During the few seconds it took him to speak, I completely understood why people loved him. I would probably have started loving him if he’d spoken to me like that.

Then, as Jadeite hesitantly placed an arm around his shoulders, he turned to me with a fake version of his trademark sparkling grin. “So what will I be wearing?”

* * * * * * * *

Zoisite
Fortunately, Kaguya hadn’t been expected to wear a dress but a kimono. In any normal circumstances, I’d refuse to wear a skirt – but in any normal circumstances, I wouldn’t voluntarily attend a ball with Mamoru as my escort. I wondered if Jadeite realized that after he’d said what he had, I had very little choice.

If only I could trust someone else to take care of him! I’d never been any good at comforting people. Rather to the contrary, actually. But his stupid mother had killed herself years ago, and Nephrite just didn’t care for or understand him, and Mamoru was a naive human princeling who probably never could understand.

It’s not easy to try and motivate a suicidal person. Especially not when you have to be so damn careful all the time – no one had ever really loved him. First his hopeless childhood, and now that Mars bitch. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince him that he meant something to me, especially as he’d been in love with me for so many years, but if I was unfortunate, I’d make him believe too much, because he’d been in love with me for so many years, and then I’d have to dump him, and then he really would kill himself.

And so I entered the ballroom with both my hands clasped around Mamoru’s arm, trying to keep a straight face and not look for Jadeite in the crowd in too obvious a manner. All right, there he was, and if he didn’t look exactly happy, he didn’t look exactly unhappy either.

The food was surprisingly good, for having been prepared by these uncivilized bastards from what seemed like the outermost edge of the world (though, uncultured or not, I did find their big, dark forests and snow-clad mountains a refreshing scenery). The diplomacy went straight over my head, the little I cared to listen to. However, even during a several-dish dinner, the food can only occupy you so long. And I’d never eaten much – no matter how tasty they looked or smelled, there was no way my stomach could accommodate for more than two plates. When I saw most of the desserts, I wished I’d skipped the actual food completely.

Since almost everyone else was still eating and/or indulged in dull conversations about topics I’d remember if I ever suffered insomnia, it wasn’t long until I was thoroughly bored and looking for distractions. To begin with, I gave Hertig’s female companion a victorious grin. What did he see in her anyway? I certainly couldn’t get why Mamoru had ever claimed to have trouble finding someone prettier, but on the other hand I never have been a great admirer of female forms.

Ironically, the Westerners (who, shockingly, didn’t recognize a Tennou even face-to-face) apparently believed me to be a woman. Mamoru had made no efforts to rid them of the illusion. I smiled faintly. Well, if that’s how he wants to play it…

I put an adoring smile on my face and timidly let my head rest on his shoulder. Had to apply conscious effort to keep the smile from turning into a full-fledged grin when I felt him stiffen in shock.

“Mamoru-sama?” I asked with mock innocence, raising a hand to his cheek. “Is something the matter?”

“Damn right!” one of Hertig’s companions growled. “If you don’t fancy the lass, I can damn right take her myself.”

They were getting drunk. And they had been staring at me with a certain amount of lecherousness since the moment I entered. Mamoru had very little choice but to cradle me against him protectively, assuring that he was fully capable of entertaining me himself. His lack of practice showed – it was increasingly apparent that he lacked any skill in conversing with drunk people. I myself had spent enough time around Nephrite to get a rudimentary idea, but he had somehow managed to uphold some level of sophistication. Which was more than these barbarians had had to begin with. Westerners!

Music began to play in the background, and a great many chairs scraped against the floor – our company trying to escape our poor hosts.

“Let’s dance,” I whispered to Mamoru.

He looked uncertain. “I don’t know. I think it might be rude…”

I gave him a sugary smile, trying to ignore the increasingly disturbing way in which the closest person’s breath exploded against my profile. “I think it will be even more rude when I start screaming.”

Good for him that he realized I was serious. Murmuring vague apologies in Hertig’s direction, he got out of his chair and offered me a hand.

“What the hell do they think they’re doing?” I hissed when we reached the dance floor.

He shrugged. “It’s their custom to drink a lot at this kind of meetings. Shows their trust or something. Mother warned me, but I didn’t think it’d be quite so bad. Look, most of them will be passed out in an hour or two, so at least you won’t have to stay the entire night.”

“No problem,” I purred, putting my arms around his neck and twining my fingers in his hair. He went rigid again, blushing bright red. I barely managed to hide my grin in his shoulder. If I were going to be stuck in this miserable place for the next few hours, I would at least get some fun out of it.

* * * * * * * *

Kunzite
It was clear to me immediately upon entering that I should never have come.

Zoisite was dancing with Mamoru, a slender, giggling figure in green. He had to be fourteen now, or almost. I stared at him with what must have been a strange expression.

I wanted to march straight up to him; I wanted to cut Mamoru to pieces; I wanted to just hold him; I wanted to not-just-hold him; I wanted to flee as fast as I had come; I wanted to shake my head and laugh at my own pathetic state of mind.

Before I could convince my unwilling muscles to move (I wasn’t going to try a teleport with this undecided a mind) someone walked up beside me. Recognizing the sharp, sweet scent of Martian perfume, I turned my head slightly to look at the expected face of Queen Relisiana.

She smiled faintly, keeping her gaze at Zoisite and Mamoru just long enough to spell out that she’d seen me watching them. Or she might simply be keeping a loving eye on her son. Yeah, right.

“You returned rather suddenly,” she said, her eyes still shifting between the dancing couple and me.

“A teleport doesn’t take very long,” I replied, trying to blot out Zoisite. One year’s determined efforts, away from immediate temptation and with a bishoujo senshi to distract me, had failed utterly, so perhaps practice was not the mother of perfection after all.

“An extraordinarily practical ability,” she remarked lightly. “I can only wish I possessed it myself. Speaking of magic, though, it is commonly believed that the new power the Night Walls received through your birth will be at its absolute end fairly soon.”

“Who has confirmed it?” I asked, suddenly focused on her after all.

She shrugged. “Lots of people. Enough to make me believe them, if only because I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

“Nephrite?” I should have asked him myself, but I didn’t want to delay the answer one instant. It was my own and the universe’s fate at stake.

“He’s neutral. Says he doesn’t have any credible signs one way or the other.”

Whatever reply I’d intended to make was interrupted by a page. Relisiana conferred with him quietly for a few seconds, then sent him away. He reluctantly returned to the table, over which a surprising number of pale men were slumped. This so-called ball, filled with passed out drunks and other questionable creatures, certainly wasn’t a nurturing environment. What kind of retard had brought my…Zoisite here?

Get a grip, I told myself in disgust. He’s not your Zoisite. No matter how much I wanted him to be that.

“Have you planned what you intend to do with your time, now that you’re here again?” Relisiana asked.

I blinked, forcing myself to look at her and not at…someone else. “No,” I said. Not anymore. Not when it was so achingly apparent that my vague idea of managing an innocent relationship with him was laughably impossible.

“In that case I have a proposition for you. I’m sure you’re familiar with the areas that have been separated from Elysion? Good. Some more investigations have been done on them recently, and I would very much appreciate to get them in order before the demons start breaking though again. The best and easiest way to do this would be magic, which appears to be lacking completely in these lands. However, most power is neutralized by some sort of disturbance, so a regular sorcerer is not sufficient.”

“Then why haven’t you already sent Nephrite?”

“The Golden Kingdom is vastly more important than any non-magic lands. If the choice were between humans and Nephrite-tennou, I’d send the humans. I am asking you because I suspect it would be best that you keep away for a while, be it there or someplace else.”

“Why?”

“According to the little birds that I feed to twitter in my ears, Jadeite-tennou was about to kill himself. Fortunately, Zoisite-tennou stopped him and has been doing his best to take care of him since. I’m aware that the two of you are rather close, and simply thought that it would be better not to disturb his efforts with Jadeite-tennou at this point. That could only hurt Jadeite-tennou further and, if we are unfortunate, lead to a renewed attempt at ending his life.”

“And why exactly would Jadeite suddenly become suicidal?”

“He fell in love with Sailormars.”

My eyebrows rocked upward. An Inner Senshi. He’d fallen in love with an Inner Senshi. I guessed there really were people whose love lives were worse than mine.

“Then I suppose I’m going rather immediately. Where to?”

“You can receive all information and material in Jigatso.”

I nodded, already creating a warp gate (safer than teleport, when over such relatively large distances) when the small hand forcefully closed around my wrist.

* * * * * * * *

Zoisite
For a while, I was content to occupy myself with (1) teasing Mamoru, who at this point had reason to wonder if he’d been sired by a tomato, and (2) basking in the hotly adoring looks directed at me by more or less everyone.

I’d always been cute, and I’d been mistaken for a girl dozens of times. But that’s kind of different from being taken for an attractive, very beautiful woman. Even the people who knew that I was really just a sweet kid of a boy appeared unwilling or unable to see through the guise. Fascinating how big a difference a change of clothes and hairstyle could make – well, that or the alcohol, or probably both.

Almost all the Westerners had passed out or retired, and more than half of Mamoru’s company had followed either of the two examples set by our hosts.

We passed a mirror, and I smiled at my reflection, checking that my rather elaborate hairdo and the lipstick (that I still couldn’t believe that they’d managed to persuade me into wearing) were still in place. I’d kept dancing with Mamoru the entire time because, since I couldn’t get away, it was the easiest way to avoid propositions from any of the drunks. Whereas the prince had originally been grateful to get away from said category of people, I suspected that he was now beginning to believe that waltzing around with me was worse – which meant I had better make sure there were witnesses who would consider it strange for him to let go of me.

I enjoyed my pastimes for about two more moments before freezing. Mamoru almost tripped over his own feet and predictably demanded to know what I thought I was doing now. I ignored him, keeping my eyes on the particular combination of silver hair and grey uniform that I’d spotted behind a pillar. No. That can’t be. I should have felt it.

Pushing myself away from Mamoru’s grip to inspect my target closer, I discovered that the person had indeed the dusky skin and silvery eyes I hadn’t dared to expect. And no wonder I hadn’t noticed him earlier when he was shielding his aura like this.

Filled with a churning, peculiar combination of anger, longing and disbelieving hope, I marched through the crowd of suddenly completely unimportant people, faintly aware of how my eyes were burning with unshed tears. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to throw myself into his arms and cry or if I’d rather kill him. In the end my heart was cut in half by his words and I couldn’t muster the energy to do either.

“…going rather immediately. Where to?”

I didn’t hear what whomever he was talking to replied. She meant nothing, barely existed. As opposed to the arm in my hand that was blessedly real.

“Kunzite-sama,” I said in a somewhat choked voice.

“Zoisite.” My name was a hot pant between his lips, and I suddenly found myself blushing as hard as ever Mamoru, remarkably conscious of how much of my skin the kimono actually showed off. “I was just leaving.”

“’Was leaving’. Past tense. Now you aren’t.”

I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him, but I wanted something. No. I knew. I wanted him.

“Let go of me,” he said tiredly.

“Are you insane?” I wasn’t sure if I was screaming or sneering. Probably a little of both. “Last time I let go of you, you went off to another planet. No explanation, no contact, no nothing for an entire year that you spent screwing around with Sailorneptune!”

Rage. Jealousy. I had to look like a complete idiot, teary and blushing. A rosebush was growing in my heart, sharp thorns cutting through my flesh. I wanted to hit him.

“Zoisite.” Almost pleadingly, as he pried my fingers loose from his wrist. His hands gripped gently at my shoulders, and a fleeting desire to shrug them off was replaced by a feverish wish for closeness. “If I’d wanted Michiru, I’d have her.”

There was a certain logic to that statement, especially as I wanted so desperately to believe him. I took a tentative step forward, twining my arms around his torso. I would not let him go away this time.

“And what about me?” The words escaped me before I could decide whether it was a very smart or an extremely dumb question to ask.

“You know I love you,” he said, surprisingly vulnerable, pain and happiness both openly evident on his features. “At least you should. What’s more…” He bit his lip, stifling the small smile. The shadow over his eyes remained, though. “I’ve been trying to act in your best interest.”

I gave him an incredulous look. But I snuggled closer to him rather than released him, despite the anger with which I said, “So why did you go to Neptune? Why are you thinking of leaving now? How the hell is that in my best interest?”

“I may not be in your best interest.”

I was beyond disbelief, but not fury. “Maybe you aren’t. Maybe you can just come back here and be completely erased from my life. I could very well go cling on someone else. How about that?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” His voice still patient, slightly weary, but his hands on my shoulders tightened for an instant.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’ll rather be going. There are all sorts of possibilities to be explored.” I gave him a nasty smile to keep my tears at bay and started naming candidates.

I only had to come up with three before he interrupted me. “They can’t have you,” he stated with cold agitation, his hands tightening momentarily again before releasing my shoulders in favor of tangling in my hair.

Well, I reflected, I wouldn’t want them to have me anyway, so that’s not… Oh! So my memories from Venus probably were valid.

The thorns dissipated into nothingness, replaced by blossoming flowers. Oh, gods, that’s such a ludicrous metaphor. But I wasn’t paying much attention to that just now. My eyes widened in surprise right when he started, but I had to admit I rather liked the hot, thorough kissing he bestowed on me. I liked it even more that he continued to hold on to me securely when he stopped.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but didn’t sound it in the least.

“Funny,” I replied, smiling shyly and still punished with this persistent blush, “I’m no – Oh, hell, Jadeite!”

I couldn’t spot him anywhere in the hall, and his aura, when I located it, positively reeked of agony.

“Run away, you,” I told/challenged/allowed/dared/asked Kunzite-sama, “but you know, this time I’m running after you.”

He might have smiled as I teleported.

* * * * * * * *

Jadeite
As long as I remained dead and formless, I didn’t have to feel. Such a state of being offered me a limited, dreary world with few pleasures and many fears, but it was better to be afraid of pain than to feel it. The dull old aches still pounded at me (i’m nobody, i’m unloved, nobody cares for me, i’m a failure, my own mother killed herself, my father was a rapist, i’m a failure, nobody cares for me, why should anyone i hate myself please love me why would anyone want to i deserve nothing i am nothing) but those were familiar, could be soothed and dealt with. Experience had worn thin my fear and even my hate for them.

It was the fire that was dangerous.

It liked to play with me, to stay hidden and passive for hours at a time before suddenly seizing me again. Flaring up from the cooling lump of burned coals that resided in my chest. It had used to be a heart, once upon a time, but hearts weren’t meant to withstand fire-arrows.

It was rather funny, or at least one could think so. I’d loved the fire once, had willingly stepped into it, and then it hadn’t burnt me. Yes, it was funny, and I laughed at it as the tears dripped down my face, because I’d rather giggle, no matter how hysterically, than sob. Even the teardrops, water as they were, were hot enough to burn my fingertips when I tried to catch them.

Every now and then, I was close to freezing to death, because the fire had abandoned me utterly. But then there was Zoisite, and sometimes Mamoru, saying suddenly that hey, maybe it’s not so hopelessly cold, because, you know, I love you. Scorched as my skin was, their touches hurt, but I received them with something akin to happiness anyway because their moderate warmth was better than the icy cold, so cold it was burning.

What they offered weren’t the dangerous sort of fire, not the burning, passionate heat, but a safe, bleak warmth that could make me feel...not well, but a bit further from unwell, for a while.

But all the time, my blurred picture of reality was framed by flaring pain, and it struck me again and again, burning the life I tried to make for myself into red-hot ashes.

I was the uttermost fool in the universe, because if I didn’t touch the good fire, the bad fire couldn’t touch me. But I couldn’t keep myself from fingering it, idiot that I was who’d thought I could play with flames without getting burned. If I didn’t remember, the memories couldn’t hurt me, but I couldn’t find it in me to want to forget.

Smile at Zoisite’s mien as he looks at the kimono, spend the dinner strained but not ablaze. See Mamoru escort Zoisite to the dance floor and hear suddenly Rei’s husky voice that might or might not have whispered in my ear when I was asleep.

Atashi wa kowaii desu, datte

Leave the table, ascend the stairs, see a flicker of grey and silver out of the corner of your eye and think that oh? when did Kunzite get back here, well at least Zoisite will be happy

atashi anata no kirai

forget all about it and collapse on the floor in a vaguely familiar room

datte, atashi anata…ai shiteru.

I might have screamed. I felt like screaming, but I had no throat, no skin to protect me from the flames that consumed me. Burning, burning, burning, having walked myself onto the stake of heretics and martyrs. No, it was rather a pyre, cremating my body so that it would match the ashen fragments of my soul.

Think that you should kill yourself. Then realize that there’s nothing left of you to burn, so you can scramble to your feet and stumble the few steps that allows you to fall on the bed. Wonder if the solitary tear drowning in the pillow is imaginary or real. Then wonder what it matters. Realize that it doesn’t, that nothing does.

And finally realize that that might be wrong, when the swirling flower petals turn into Zoisite.

“How is it?” He sat down on the bedside and leaned over me worriedly. He hardly looked himself, with the revealing kimono and tousled hair. He was beautiful, and I could appreciate it in a calm, unattached way. I hadn’t felt any lingering traces of lovesickness for him since Rei…since Rei…oh god. I whimpered, then forced myself to push the thoughts and the pain and the memories down.

“Did Mamoru kiss you?” I asked, weakly but with a small note of humor. “Or was it one of the great and glorious Western gentlemen?”

“Neither,” he replied, uncertainly touching a hand to his lips. “How did you…?”

“Your lipstick is smeared. Then who was it?”

“Kunzite-sama.” For just a second, before he forced the expression away, he virtually glowed with happiness, all shining eyes and blushing cheeks and sweet smile.

So I did see him. I’d thought I must’ve been wrong when Zoisite showed up here. There was a sort of…a reminiscent of joy in the fact that he evidently cared enough about me to come here rather than stay with Kunzite, even though it was obvious that he had much preferred the latter.

“So now the two of you are going to live happily ever after?” There was surprisingly little bitterness in my words.

“We are…” Zoisite said uncertainly, then confirmed, smiling. “We are. It’s sort of funny, you know. You can love someone without being in love with him, and I guess you can also be in love with someone without loving him, and then there’s this combination.”

There were so many words for that; the one true love, star-crossed love, destined love, eternal love. I wasn’t envious anymore, not of Zoisite, and I wasn’t surprised either.

“Then why aren’t you with him?”

He crossed his legs, leaning back against the wall – I’d fallen over the middle of the bed, so there was plenty of room for him. “Because he’s going away somewhere. Again.”

“And why didn’t you go with him?”

“Look, if that’s what you really want, I can have Nephrite keeping watch over you, but I doubt either of you would enjoy the experience.”

“Me too.”

“But…” He chewed his lower lip. “Is there something you’d like to talk about?” A hesitantly worded offer.

“No thanks. No offense, but you’re not the kind of person one would readily tell that sort of story.”

He smiled self-consciously. “I guess I’ve never been too good a listener. Still, you never told Mamoru.” A question formulated like a statement.

“He’s not the kind of person I’d readily dump on.”

He nodded, arranging a pillow behind his back. “You could just kidnap her or something, you know.”

“She’d kill me.”

“She’s not able to.”

“She’d make me kill myself.”

He sighed quietly, obviously swallowing a reply at the lines of She already does. “If you say so. Just tell me if you change your mind. About either the talking or the kidnapping.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

I fell asleep with the ache from the wound on my once-heart throbbing almost-comfortably in time with my pulse.