Ranma and Akane are walking home after school. Their parents really have no idea that Ranma and Akane actually like eachother...
Akane: Do you think we should tell our parents that we're together?
Ranma: Hell no, I think it's more fun to let Kasumi and Nabiki only know and not tell the old people.
(They reach home)
Akane(takes off her shoes): Kasumi, Nabiki, Dad, Mr. Saotome we're home!
Nabiki (peeks her head out of the kitchen door): Akane, no shit, we knew it was you when you opened the door.
Akane: It could have been a mugger….
Nabiki: A mugger wouldn't taken off their shoes idiot…. (goes back into the kitchen)
(That night in Akane's room)
Akane: Ranma I think it's time to take our relationship to the next step.(Akane turns off the light)
The next morning at Ucchans
Ukyo (serves Ranma her Okonimiyaki): Here you go Ran-chan.
Ranma: Thanks. (starts eating)
Ukyo: (lays on top of the counter near Ranma) There is something I have to tell you… (Sexy voice) Ran-chan….
Ranma: There's something I have to tell you too. Akane and I had sex last night and we're gonna do it again and again until I get tired of it. (Smiles and shakes his head)
Ukyo(falls off the counter): Ahhh! (Gets up) Ranma get out!!!!
Shampoo (runs in and screams): Ranma!!!!! (runs toward him)
Ranma: Shampoo… (Gets up yet moves the table a bit making Shampoo fall)
Shampoo(hits the floor and gets up) oooh!! My nose!! (Holds her nose running out but Ryouga runs her over instead)
Ryouga: Did I hear correctly!?! My Akane has been violated!?
Shampoo: HELP!!!! Get off!!
Ryouga(skips over her): Well Ranma!?!
Ranma: ….Your Akane?
Ryouga: Ahhh!
Ukyo: Help me up Ryouga!
Ryouga(looks down): oh hi…. (Helps Ukyo up and looks into her eyes)
Ukyo: Eh…? (looks into his eyes)
They both hear bells
Ukyo: Do you hear something…?
Ryouga: Yea….
Ranma: Well, I would love to stay and find out what you two hear but… I'm feelin' a little horny.
Ukyo: I can see that….
Ranma(looks down): um… I'll be going now. (jumps over Shampoo and runs off)
Ukyo: So, you wanna help me around this place?
Ryouga( smiles): sure…
Shampoo: I'll get Akane for doing this, and Ranma for busting my nose… (Gets up and runs off) <probably to China where she can train… ~_~>
Back to the Tendou Dojo
Akane(sorting out clothes): ooh… one of Nabiki's outfits, must have gotten mixed up with mine. (Looks at the small shirt and the really short skirt) hmm… (tries it one and looks in the mirror) Wow! I look hot!! (Goes to her piggy bank and takes out money <She has a lot of it since she doesn't buy any clothes… ^.^) I think I'll go shopping.
Later that day
Ranma: (Dancing to New Kids on The Block <Remember them?>) Ooh! Ooh! Oooh! Oh oh ooooh! Oh oh oooh! The right stuff!
Akane walks in
Akane: What the hell are you doing!?!
Ranma: I was just uh… (stares at Akane because she is wearing: A small tight shirt with a short skin tight skirt, two strans of her hair is dyed blonde and she has piercings in her ears) What'd you do!?!
Akane: What did I do? I made myself over… (grabs her breast) And yes… I have breasts…
Ranma: why?
Akane: ooh look! (shows Ranma her shoulder) I have a tattoo of an R for you.
Ranma: You doesn't have an R in it…
Akane(shakes her head and points to Ranma): You!!! An R for you!
Ranma: oooh! Did you walk home in that outfit?
Akane: My friend Shafiqua drove me home.
Ranma: I like the change but…. I never thought.
Akane: Your gonna see many changes Ranma.
The next day at school!!!!
Akane and Ranma take their seats
Akanes friend: Akane… what happened to your school skirt.
Akane: Cut it…
Friend: Your shirt…?
Akane: Cut it….
Friend: Your hair…?
Akane: Dyed it…
Friend: You ears….?
Akane: Pierced them… any other stupid questions?
Friend: That's about it… (turns around)
Ukyo comes running in holding Ryouga's hand
Ukyo: Sorry I'm late!!! My cousin came over and she's coming to this school.
Ryouga: I'm new too. I'm here to learn cuz I haven't been to school in 16 years…
Teacher: oh my….Please take a seat.
(A girl roller blades in)
Girl: I'm here!
Teacher: Take those things off!
Girl(takes her long earrings off): That better?
Teacher: The rollerblades….
Girl: Well you said "Things" am I suppose to know what "Things" are?
Teacher: Take a seat!
Girl(Sits next to Ukyo): Hey cuz.
Ranma: Sakura!
Sakura: Ewww… you go to this school too?
Ranma: Yea! Isn't this cool!?!
Sakura: ….yea… the coolest…
Ranma: C'mon you know you still like me, you were the first girl to actually beat me in a fight.
Sakura: That's cuz I wanted to kick yer ass.
Akane: I like her.
Sakura: Who she?
Ukyo: That's Ranmas girlfriend.
Sakura(looks in the back of Akane) hey… no air-holes! She's real!
(Everyone laughs)
Teacher: That's enough now, can the new students introduce themselves to the class?
Sakura: (Stands up)I'm Ukyo's cousin…. I'm in a clan like thingee… oooh my names Sakura Mochito… and my number is 555-2457 call me! (smiles and sits down)
Guy: Can you say that again!?!
Guy #2: Whats the rest of your number…?
Ryouga(Stands up): My name is Ryouga Hibiki…I used to be in love with Akane Tendou until she was violated by that COWARD Ranma!!! Now I'm in love with Ukyo. (grins and sits down)
Teacher: I only wanted to know your names…
(After School)
Sakura(rollerblades around): I wanna get to know your friends Ukyo.
Ukyo: (points to Akane) This is Akane…. Lemme show you a before picture. (shows Sakura)
Sakura: WHAT!!?!?! When was this taken?
Ukyo: A week ago.
Sakura: What happened to her? Geek to Freak?
Ukyo: She got some and changed.
Sakura: ooh…
Akane: I aint a freak!
Ranma: She looks cute.
Akane: I don't need YOU stickin' up for ME. (She looks to her side) Holy shit! That's Shinnosuke selling drugs on the corner!
Ranma: Shinnosuke? Drugs? No way… (looks to his side) That's Shinnosuke selling drugs on the corner….
Akane: ooh it is!?! Dumbass that's what I said!!!
Ukyo: hey!! He's cute call him over here!
Sakura: yea!
Akane: SHINNOSUKE!!!!!
Shinnosuke: (Puts his hands behind his head): I aint doin shit! I aint doin shit!
Akane: NO!! IT'S AKANE!
Shinnosuke(runs over to Akane): Ooooh wassup!
Ukyo and Sakura: That mutha fuckas high as a kite…
Sakura: He's hot though….
Shinnosuke: I got some left overs… Wanna hit?
Sakura: Sure… (opens up her hand)
Shinnosuke: Hey yo… I'm gonna go to school.
Akane: Furinkin High?
Shinnosuke: (looks around) ….Whateva man…(sniffs)
Akane: Well this has been some day, a freak on wheels and a freak on drugs.
Sakura(looks at her joint): This is good…Hey! What you mean by freak on wheels muh fuh….?
Akane(throws her joint away): You high…. Take her home Ukyo.
Shinnosuke: I gotta find a place to sleep…. You know any good dumpsters?
Ranma: Don't you have a place to go?
Shinnosuke: I wanna buy a house theres this house I wanna buy but… I'm 9,000 bucks short, got any change?
Ranma: I'll check the couch cusions for ya. Let's go Akane.
Ukyo: You can stay with me Shinnosuke, for awhile…
Ryouga: Yo!!! What about me?
Ukyo: I got space… Let's go! (Ukyo, Ryouga, and Shinnosuke walk off)
Sakura: Slut….
Shinnosuke: Yo are we like gonna have a manage-a-three?
Ukyo: (Shakes her head) no….
Shinnosuke: I'll stick with you until I can aford the house.
Ukyo: ….That's the plan.
The next day before school
Ranma and the rest of the group are walking to school
Girl(is running towards them but doesn't see them): I cant be late!
Ranma: Whoa! (the girl bumps into Ranma) Yo cant you see where your going!?
Girl: Cant you see where you're going!?!
Ranma: Who the Hell are you!?!
Girl: That's a nice way to say hello. (Turns to Akane) Cant you keep this guy on a leash!
Ranma: Why are you rushing anyway?
Girl: I'm gonna be late for school.
Ranma: Then we're all gonna be late!
Akane: Damnit!!! Come on then! (she runs off)
Ukyo: Um… this way Ryouga.. (grabs his hand and runs into the school)
Sakura: heh. I'll show you in Shinnosuke.
Shinnosuke: …That's nice. (they go in)
Ranma: I'll be going too… ALONE.
Girl: Like I give a fuck…(walks off)
Ranma: I hope you trip…
(The girl looks at him then walks off)
Ranma: ugh… (Walks off and trips) DAMNIT! (gets up and runs to the entrance of the school)
(In the class room)
Teacher: All of you are late… take a seat.
Shinnosuke: Where should I take it?
Teacher: Sit in it!
Shinnosuke: Well you gotta be more specific! (sits down in a seat)
Teacher: I hate kids….Ya'll know that… I HATE YOU!
All the kids: You tell us everyday.
Teacher: okay…. (the bell rings) Go to your next class.
(Everyone gets up and walks out. Ranma runs up to the computer lab to do some personal research)
(later at lunch time)
Ranma: Everyone sit down, we're having a meeting!
Ukyo: gag…
Sakura: Snore…
Ranma: Shut up!
(Everyone sits down)
Shinnosuke: hey Akane you gonna eat that?
Ranma: I'm tellin' a story here! I found out who that short black haired girl is… she's been harrasing me, her name is Mai Shonchiro.
Sakura: wow…
Ranma: Can I finish? Anyway, I wanted to find out a whole bunch more so I looked into the personal records room.
Akane: Did you find anything?
Ranma: Can I finish the damn story? Can I EVER finish a story when I'm around you? EVER?
Sakura: Don't go having a dick truama.
Ranma: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!
Sakura: DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!
Akane: THIS IS DOING MY HEAD IN!
Ryouga: SHUT UP!!!
Shinnosuke: YO YO!! SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!
Ukyo: I'M GETTING A HEADACHE!!
Ranma: I'M GOING TO OWN A DOJO!
(Everyone stares at Ranma)
Ranma: Now… what I was saying… I found out that Mai gets kicked out of schools cuz she casts spells on people and things… she's a witch man.
Akane: That's great…
Shinnosuke: You gonna eat that?
Ranma(pushes his plate away): No… go ahead… Eat it all.. I see all of you care. Well when Mai boils me in a cauldron and mumbles something about the Devil infront of me… ya'll gonna care.
Sakura: …maybe.
(the bell rings)
Ranma: You'll see!
Akane: I'll talk to her after school.
Ranma: You better catch her, she might fly away on her broom.
Shinnosuke: 90's witches don't use brooms, they fly by themselves…
Sakura: What?
Shinnosuke: Yea I see them… they feed the pink sheep and milk the purple cows. Don't trust the green elephants… they stole my wallet.
Ranma: Okay we do NOT listen to him.
(After school)
Akane: Um…. Mai?
Mai: Um… yes?
Akane: Are you gonna eat Ranma?
Mai: No way, I cant stand that guy.
Akane: Well you should leave him alone.
Mai: I didn't do anything to him.
Akane: (laughs) He thinks you're a witch.
Mai: I am…
Akane: (Nervous laughter): heh heh heh… bye.
Mai: It's okay Akane, we can be friends.
Akane: How do you know my name?
Mai: Everyone knows your name.
Akane: Then… how'd you know Ranma's name?
Mai: His name is in the girls locker room it's underneath a sign that says "Biggest losers in the school"
Akane: Ohhh, thatd be the sign I made , when I didn't like Ranma.
Mai: Ilck… you like him now?
Akane: Whats wrong with that?
Mai: His face!
Akane: We should be friends… you're the first girl that EVER came here and didn't like Ranma.
Mai and Akane walk off
Mai: Ewww…what did THEY look like?
(The next day at Ucchans)
Ukyo(to Mai): So… can you make me really rich?
Mai(eating some okonomiyaki): ….get a genie…I don't grant wishes.I hate genies they are too nice, especially that dumb blonde one that married that loser astronaut.
Ukyo: So… how can I make my business better?
Mai: …Try putting in a soda machine or… don't only make okonomiyaki, or add an arcade!
Ukyo: Your good.. (writes this down)
Mai: You couldn't think of that?
(A guy walks in with a gun and a mask)
Guy: Gimmie all of your money!
Ukyo: Look at this place?!! I got an idiot, a witch, a drug addict, and a couple of sluts.
Guy: …whorehouse?
Ukyo: restraunt.
Ranma: Kumon?
Kumon: Quasi! (takes the mask off)
Akane: Qausi…?
Mai starts laughing
Ukyo and Sakura: Hey Kumon!
Kumon: My girls! (goes to hug them)
Ukyo and Sakura: Keep your paws to yourself!
Kumon: Gotcha… (turns to Ranma) Sooo Popeye, how's it hanging?
Mai: Short, shrivled, and always to the left?
Ranma: Howd you know…? I mean… uhh…
Kumon: I like her.
Shinnosuke(gay voice): Shes silly.
Kumon: Who are you?
Shinnosuke: The Pillsbury Dough boy… whats it look like?! I'm a guy sitting on a stool, with cocain on a mirror! Now can I please get back to what I was doing?! (sniffs)
Kumon: At least he said "please".
Ukyo: Don't mind him, he is Sakura's boyfriend.
Sakura: He's not my boyfriend yet.
Ukyo: Well arent we confident…?
Akane: Well we better be getting home, tomorrow is when my cousin is coming.
Ukyo: Cousin?
Akane: yea.. he has short hair parted down the middle, he wears lots of suits with pocket protectors and he has glasses. Let's go Ranma!
Ranma: Okay. (stares at Mai while he walks out) don't do anything….
Mai: boo…
Ranma: Ahhhh! (runs off)
Akane: idiot… (runs after him)
Ukyo and Sakura: I cant wait to see that geek of a cousin. (they stare at eachother) Stop that!!!!
Kumon: Can I crash here?
Ukyo: ugh…Take the bathroom.
Kumon: I'm used to that.
(The next day at school)
Akane: There he is…
Ukyo: Who?
Sakura: What?
Shinnosuke: Where?
Ryouga: How?
Mai: Why?
Akane: That was lame…My cousin… Trunks.
Ukyo: Trunks?
Akane: His family has a werid thing about naming there kids after… clothing. Come here TRUNKS!
Trunks(looks to Akane): Hey Akane… (Walks over to her, taking off his glasses) You look… different.it's nice.
Akane: You too. Why do you keep wearing those glasses?
Trunks: To make me look smarter. Who are your friends?
All of the girls are drooling.
Akane: Suck it in girls!
All of the girls are sucking in there stomachs
Kumon: nooo she means the nasty drool coming out your mouths, it's naaasty.
Trunks starts laughing.
Akane: You remember my man Ranma right?
Trunks: I could never forget the he-she
Ranma: I am 100 percent man again thanks to you my fine purple-haird amigo.
Akane: And I do so enjoy his manly self (starts nibling on his ear)
Ukyo: Ew, Jeez… get a room!
Trunks: My friend is coming too. His name is Goten.
Ranma: Goten? As in… Goten Son?
Trunks: Yea… how you know him?
Ranma: He's my cousin.
Guy: Trunks!
Trunks: Ahh theres Goten.
Goten: Hey.
Shinnosuke(the Masters voice from: The Karate Kid): Goten-SON …concentwait, I must now, go catch fly, with chop-sticks, and remember,(moves his hand infront of Gotens face in a movement of a circle) Wax on, Wax off…
Goten: …Who is this asshole?!?!
Shinnosuke: I'm Shinnosuke!
Goten: And this is me not giving a crap.
Mai: I'm Mai… I would like to be your love slave… Did say that outloud..? DID I SAY THAT OUTLOUD!?!
Akane: Come on hun… I'll walk you to your next class.
Mai: Did I say that outloud?
Akane: No….
(They are ALL in Extra Credit class open to everyone… it's Shakespere)
Akane: ooh Mai… you are taking this class?
Mai: Yea why not?
Akane: Ranma is in this class..
Mai: uhh….
Trunks: Hey Akane, your in this class? You too Mai? Still wanna be Gotens love slave? (walks in)
Mai: You said I didn't say that outloud! This is so embaressing!
Akane: Hey, it could have been worse, you could have been walking on stage to make a prestation you step on your dress it tears off and your standing infront of the whole school wearing your training bra and your "hey hey were the Monekys" underwear!
Mai: has that happened to you?
Akane: yes… and kids can be so cruel, they spent the whole year coming up to me and saying "Can Davy come out and play?"
Ukyo(walks by): Yea Akane but I bet if it happened now you'd say "Underwear?"
Akane: Shut up! (they both walk in)
Mai(whispers to Akane): Goten is in here!
Akane: I see that…. Hi Goten.
Mai: Hi Gotwen… Did I say that outloud!?!
Akane: I'm not gonna lie to you… yes.
Mai: noooooo!!! (they go sit down)
Goten(whispers to Ranma): Shes cute.
Ranma: Are you crazy man…(puts his finger to his temple) She's not right!
Goten(puts his finger on Ranmas head): niether are you!
Sakura: Damn, everyone we know are in this class… We're all dumb!
Teacher: Now! We must express how we feel in Shakesperean language…. Ranma?
Ranma(stands up and grabs Mai's hands): I give not a crap for thee. (sits down and smiles)
Everyone "ooooos"
Shinnosuke: ooooh snap!!!
Mai(stands up): hehe… (Turns to Ranma) Why doesn't thou go to yonder bush and JERK OFF!!! (sits down and smiles)
Everyone laughs
Shinnosuke: Oooooooh snap!!!!!
Teacher: Um… that was inspiering. Anyone else?
Goten(stands up): Yea I'll do it. (Grabs Mai's hands) Thou art the most beautiful flower I've ever seen. (sits down)
Mai falls out of her seat
Mai: (Gets up) uhh… Did I do that outloud?!
Akane: Mai… ya fell.Everyone saw it… your not gonna be known as Mai anymore, your gonna be known as the girl that fell.
Mai: ooh no!!!
Sakura: Akane, do yourself a favor… Never EVER become a pyschiotrist.
Trunks: This is gonna be a fun school.
Kumon: I think I'll hang out in school for a couple of days.
Shinnosuke: heeey! Do you got 9,000 bucks I could borrow?
Kumon: ….Borrow?
Shinnosuke: okay have?
Kumon: Sure… (gives him some money) I'll get more later.
Shinnosuke: Get some?
Kumon: You don't know how to get money from the bank?
Shinnosuke: I don't have any money in the bank.
Kumon: Sure you do, everyone does… You walk in the bank with a mask on and a water gun… make sure it looks real. Ask for money like this "Gimmie all your money you fuckin bitch!" or…. "You ass lickin' bastard!" and they give it to you, then the cameras in the corners tape you, so you can be on T.V.
Ranma: Yea he's the biggest star on America's Most Wanted.
Teacher: Um… class dismissed…
(After school)
Trunks: How about we all go to my house and hang out there for awhile.
Sakura: YAY!!! CAN WE GO? HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH? CAN WE!?!!?!
Trunks: ….Uhhh I don't know! I just invited but I'm not sure… YES WE CAN GO!
(Outside of Capsule Corp.)
Trunks: Okay one rule… Do NOT talk to my Father… unless he speaks to you first. If he insults you, say "Thankyou sir" if you follow the rules there will not be any beatings!
(they walk in)
Vegita: What the fuck you doin Trunks! Bringin' whores in the house now!?!
Trunks: This is Akane.
Vegita: Even worse….
Akane: …Thankyou sir…
Bra comes running down
Bra: Akane!!!!
Akane: Bra!!!!
Ukyo: That did it… Bra, Trunks, Bulma, Vegita… Underwear and a vegetable.
Trunks: noooo!!!
Vegita: Did I hear something?
Trunks: No dad.
Vegita: What!
Trunks: No sir…
Goten: Hi Mr. Saiya-jin…
Vegita: ugh… Give this to your father (puts his middle finger up) give this to your mother (puts his other middle finger up) oooh.. and give this to your brother (pretends to jerk off) now all of you get out of my sight.
Goten: Will do…
Akane: I'll be right back….(runs off)
Trunks: I'll give you guys a tour… oh and no stealing we have cameras
Kumon: Damn! (takes stuff out of his jacket)
Bra: Daddy daddy!!!! (runs to Vegita) can we make paper dollies?
Vegita: Sure honey…
Trunks looks down
They all walk up to Trunks' room
Ukyo: Resident Evil fan I see….
Goten: Allright you got the Jill cut out board! Got one for me?
Trunks: Of course mi amigo.
Shinnosuke(stands gay like in bimbo voice): They think their so cool! Ugh! Look what they're wearing… Let's bitch about them.
Ukyo and Sakura: Very funny Shinnosuke…
Ranma: Wheres Akane?
Akanes voice from a distant room in the house: (holding up a pregnancy test)YES NEGATIVE!
Akane walks in
Ryouga: She's changed…
Ukyo: Well look who just caught up!
Mai: You know… Vegita isn't a very good father.
Ranma: What would you know about having a kid? By any chance if you actually laid an egg hatched a child and tried to breast feed it naturally the kid would starve to death cuz let's face it Mai there cant be enough milk in there for a cup of coffee.
Mai: Shut up you candy ass mutha fuckin' mommas boy!
Ranma: HEY! Do I make fun of you?!
Vegitas' voice: WHORES 'N' FAGGOTS! GET YOUR MUTHA FUCKIN' ASSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW! YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO MAKE A PRESTATION ABOUT #17 AND SHE WANTS YOU TO TALK TO JEWEL! SO GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW ASSHOLES!
Shinnosuke: ….Do you think we should listen to him?
All: YES!
(They all walk downstaris)
Bulma: Hello Akane, who are your friends?
Akane: Um…. (points to everyone) This is everyone…. Everyone this is Bulma.
Everyone: Hi Bulma.
Bulma: Hi everyone.
Trunks: What did I hear about #17?
Vegita: Are you- (puts his hands on Bra's ears) FUCKIN BRAIN DEAD!?
Trunks: ……..
Vegita: #17 and that fag Jewel are buying a capsule house right next to this other house where this guy with a broom lives.
Shinnosuke: That'd be me…
Vegita: What do ya want a prize? (hands bra to Bulma)
Bulma: (takes bra) I'm so glad you all get along….
#17: Yo!
All of the girls drool
Kumon: Ewwww it's the nasty drool ritual again.
Jewel: We need a third person, we don't have enough money to spilt the rent yet.
#17: Any of you girls care to join? (grins)
The girls drool more wanting to say "yes"
Kumon: Yo! Pick me! I need a place to live… and I got lots of money! I'm a robb-I mean… Business man. I work a lot with banks, and… jail cuz I clean cells… yea.
#17: Okay cool.
Jewel: He can be a murderer for all we know.
Bulma: Good it's setteled then, #17, Jewel take um… that guy to your new house.
Kumon: The name is… (smiles) Kunta, Kunta Kintae.
Bulma: Hi Kunta.
Shinnosuke(Pushes Kumon on the floor, Scottish accent): Your name is Toby! Say your name boy!
Kumon: Kunta… Kunta Kintae!
Vegita: EVERYONE STOP FUCKIN' AROUND!!!! TELL HIM YOUR NAME!
Kumon(gets up scared): Kumon! Kumon Ryu!
Vegita: WHAT!?!
Kumon: KUMON RYU SIR!!!! (he runs out)
Everyone else gets scared and runs out
Vegita: I love doing that….
Bulma: I wish you wouldn't have done that… I had tea for them….
A few weeks later in Akanes room at the Tento Dojo
Ukyo: What are you doing anyway? (starts playing with Akanes stuffed animals)
Akane(is filling out job app.): I'm filling out a job application and I'm looking for an apartment.
Ukyo: Why not keep on living here? (huggles Akanes' bunny)
Akane: Will you stop raping my stuff animals! Anyway, have you seen the people who live here? I NEED to get out!
Ukyo(steals the bunny): …Whats the job app for?
Akane: For a place called "The Eager Beaver"
Ukyo: Please tell me that's a "Save The Beaver Foundation" and your one of those women who sell beaver hats to everyone and beg to save the beavers?
Akane: It's a restraunt and I'm a waitress.
Ukyo: what kind?
Akane: The kind that… waits on people.
Ukyo(looks down and whispers): stripjoint….
Akane: NO IT ISN'T!
Ukyo: Yea right… and I'm still totally in love with Ranma and I wanna live happily ever after in his room at this damn dojo.
(Ranma bursts in the room)
Ranma: I knew it!
Akane: She was being saracastic…
Ranma: ….I knew that… I came in here…. And said "I knew it" cuz I knew…You had Mr. Wiggles the, um…elephant. (takes the stuffed elephant and leaves the room)
Ukyo: ….problems….
Akane: That reminds me… put Mr. Flip-flop back on my bed.
*the next day*
Ranma(dancing infront of the mirror grooming himself): Oye mi cuerpo pide salsa! Y con este ritmo! Vamos a bailar! Oye-
Akane: What the HELL are you doing!?! Why are you singing in Spanish!?!
Ranma: I was singing in Spanish? I was singing? I was speaking Espanol?
Akane: Stop that! Just stop it now! I have to get ready for my job.
Ranma: But it's the "V-Day"!
Akane: Well, the little woman has a job now, I'm thinking that you should get one too?
Ranma: I'm going to own a dojo, I don't need a job.
Akane: The only thing that dojo brings in are termites. Only you and your father use it.
Ranma: You used too.
Akane: USED TOO…. I have a job and I'm gonna be late, BYE! (Leaves)
Ranma: Now to go get a gift. (he leaves)
*Ucchans*
Ukyo: What are you doing here?
Mai: Akane threw him out and he needs a job as a janitor.
Ranma: You couldn't be more wrong. I need a V-day gift!
Mai: There are stores…Oh wait… You have no job, you have no money!
Ranma: Why are you here?
Mai(points to her plate): I'm eating lunch-
Ranma: No, here on Earth!
Mai (pushes Ranma on the grill): Oh die!
Ukyo: Careful that's hot you know…
Ranma(crying): ahhhhhhh waaahhhhahahahahhhhh!
Ryoga(comes down the stares wearing a heart outfit): Oh Ukyo my love!
Ukyo, Ranma, and Mai have sweatdrops coming down there heads
Ukyo: What do you think your doing?
Ryoga: I'm trying to seduce you (dances a bit)
Mai: Um… here Ukyo (gives Ukyo her money) I'm done with lunch…. (runs out)
Ranma: Perfect! (Runs out of the shop)
Kame House
Trunks: Thanks for leting me stay here for awhile.
Master Roshi: Why arent you at home anyway?
Trunks: It's Valentines Day…. My parents are probably having sex like a couple of rabbits.
Yamcha: ….. (blinks a bit)
Master Roshi: We are suspecting another person to stay with us so until he comes you can stay for as long as you like.
Trunks: I'll stay here til' tomorrow. Since I have no girlfriend… (lowers his head and sighs)
The door bell rings
Yamcha: Thatd be him.
Puar: I'll get it-
Oolong(pushes Puar out of the way): Dumb flying cat…. (opens the door) Whoooo! It's a chick!
Yamcha: A chick!?! (runs to the door)
"Chick": Excuse me? I am not a CHICK! I have a name!
Trunks: Yeah guys, show some respect to the pretty lady. What is your name?
Kini: Kini, and yours?
Trunks: Trunks-
Kini: That's a dumb name.
Trunks: Well Kini aint so hot either.
Yamcha(to Master Roshi and the others): There gonna get it on. (Depressed Yamcha walks up stairs) When you go back to your mansion Trunks say "Hi" to your mother.
Trunks: Will do.
Kini: Mansion?
Trunks: I have a horsey too, a doggie, a stupid sister…., nice mommy, absuvive father-
Kini: okay.
Trunks: Go out with me?
Kini: I don't know anything about you. Do you have kids, a girlfriend, a wife, do you have a boyfriend? Have aids?
Trunks: I'm perfectly clean!I'm the perfect man! I never even touched a girl, they touch me but, I don't go near them.
Kini: Okay, but I'll have to sleep with you to make my decision.
Trunks: Great! Wonderful! I think I can fit that into my schedule, how about (checks out his rolex) right now!?!
Kini: Fine with me, (she puts her bags down and hops into Trunks' arms)
Yamcha (siting on the steps): I wish can get a girl like that.
Trunks: But you can… (gives Yamcha 300 bucks) they all hang down the coner on Turner Ave.
Yamcha: Thanks Trunks. You're a good man.
Trunks: Thanks. (they fly off to Capsule Corp.)
*Shinnosukes apartment*
Shinnosuke: For Valentines Day I'm not gonna smoke or do drugs for today.
Sakura: Couldn't you just get me a gift?
Shinnosuke: If you let me have drugs I'll get you anything you want!
Sakura: Okay, get me these things (writes them on a paper) I'll give you your special bag. (hand it to him)
Shinnosuke (takes the paper): Um… Chocolate couch?
Sakura: You find, I give!
Shinnosuke: Okay….. love you. (leaves)
Sakura: ….whatever.
Outside
Shinnosuke(looks at #17's house): Dude…. (knocks on their door)
Jewel(opens the door wearing a towel): What is it?
Shinnosuke: I need some money to buy this list of stuff for sakura.
#17 and Kumon come walking down stairs in heart underwear and Nabiki follows them
Nabiki: Jewel, we're waiting.
Jewel(is staring at Nabiki): um.. (throws a WHOLE BUNCHA MONEY at Shinnosuke) HERE HERE TAKE IT ALL! WHATEVER YOU DON'T USE- KEEP! (slams the door and locks it)
Shinnosuke(grabs all the money): Dude….
Voices from inside: Yo Jewel get the whipped cream!
Shinosuke: …Dude (Goes to find the stuff Sakura wants)
Mai's House
Michiru( is at the door): Who are you?
Goten: Goten! GO-TEN. I come here almost everyday!
Michiru: I know your body but whos in your mind?
Goten: Mai!!!!!
Mai(comes running down the stairs): Michiru get away from him.
Michiru walks away from the door
Mai: the maggot….yes Goten?
Goten: Um, I got you some gifts.
Mai: Oh that's sweet.
Goten: Yea um here is a Daisy (gives her a daisy)
Mai(takes it): Oooh…
Goten: A Bon-Bon.
Mai(takes that): That's nice….
Goten: And a heart that I made with my own two hands.
Mai(takes the paper-made heart): "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Candy is sweet but not as sweet as you, Love Warren" (Looks up at Goten) Warren?
Goten: The one I made wasn't really good….
Mai: Oh (Takes her flower and sniffs it) I have a flower that smells like dog pee, a dusty Bon-Bon, and a heart that wasn't made for me. This is one of the best Valentine gifts I ever got.
Goten(Confused): Really?
Mai: Yea, usually I get dead stuff in a box, this stuff is not dead-yet. I love it Goten, and I still love you.
Goten: Oh, cool.I did a good thing. So wanna catch a movie?
Mai: Any death?
Goten: Pyshco….
Mai: Okay. (she walks back into the house to get her jacket)
Michiru: If my boyfriend gave me that for valentines day I'd boil him in a pot.
Mai: that's nice…
Michiru: where are you going?
Mai: To see Pyshco.
Michiru: Mom's in the kitchen-
Mai: The movie….
Michiru: Oh.
(Mai leaves with Goten)
Capsule Corp.
Akane(Is at capsule corp. cuz she just came back from her job): hey Vegita? What did you get Bulma?
Vegita: I didn't get her anything, I gave her something but I didn't get her anything. What do you think she wants?
Akane: Well… I don't really know I mean I'm not married to her-
Vegita: TELL ME!!!!
Akane(Sweatdrop): Um, Lingere.
Vegita(backs away a bit): ooooh, no no no.
Akane: Why not? Don't you want her to look, you know sexy?
Vegita: I cant believe I'm having this conversation with you.I'm leaving-
Akane: Oh come on Vegita.
Vegita: She doesn't NEED lingere she is perfectly beautiful on her own.
Akane: I knew you had a soft side (She smiles)
Vegita: …. Tell anyone about this conversation and I'll throw you out the window!
Akane: ………um……yes sir.
Vegita: ow do I know if it'll fit her?
Akane: Only one way to find out….
Vegita: how?
Akane: …Try it on.
Vegita: Get out!
Vegita went to a lingere store uh….Vegita in a lingere store, you'd never think that would you?
The Lingere Store
Vegita is looking around but is too scared to look.
Woman(behind the counter talking to her friend): So what do you think? Pervert?
Woman#2: No….husband. Let's go. (they walk over to Vegita) Are you looking-
Vegita(Shakey): No I'm not looking!
Woman: We mean for your wife. What do you think she would like?
Vegita(is now sweating): uh….uh..uh…
Woman#2: A teddy?
Woman: A nightie?
Woman#2: A robe?
Vegita: uh…a robe…(he puts his hand on his head)
Woman: Why don't you sit down, get him some water.
Woman#2: right…
Vegita sits down
Woman: I'll get you some robes.
Woman#2(hands Vegita some water): Here you are.
Woman: Here we are (shoes Vegita the robes) we have lace, sheer, thick, see-through-
Vegita: I gotta go! (gets up and heads for the door but bumps into another man) hey- Gokou!?!
Gokou: Vegita!?!
Both: Uh, err, I was just looking for a phone- I'm doubled park gotta go! See ya! (they both leave in opposite directions)
*Akane's Apartment*
Akane(is lying in her couch): I'm gonna love this apartment- (knock on the door) SON OF A BITCH! (answers the door) Who- oh hey…Ranma?
Ranma(is wearing gold dasy dukes holding a radio playing the song "Missing" he has a German accent): Allo…
Akane: Ranma-
Ranma: My name is Mango (waves his hands in front of her face and sings) And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain-
Akane: Go home Ranma, I want to spend one night in my apartment alone. I'll call ya in the morning-
Ranma: Fine, I'll go! (smacks his butt and walks out) … (outside of the apartment) ahh…to be Mango.
Darien looks out of his apartment ,smiles and plays with his fingers
Ranma: Ahhh! (runs away like a girl)
*Capsule Corp*
Trunks(is sneaking Kini upstaris): hehehehehe…
Vegita(comes through the door): What the fuck you doin?
Trunks: Um…. Oh look here comes mom! (runs up to his room with Kini)
Vegita: Damnit all to Hell, Hey Bulma I got you a girft…gift! (rubs his head)
Bulma: Girft gift?
Vegita: Gift, gift only…
Bulma: Allright whatever just gimmie. (takes the gift) ….. a heart.. (picks up a paper heart) um-
Vegita: I made it with my own two hands.
Bulma: Um.. (reads it) I know I'm a bastard but that's okay, Cuz I can screw your brains out ,Hey, Hey, Hey. (looks puzzeled) You thought of this on your own?
Vegita: Well this guy down the street kept on saying "Hey Hey Hey" so I needed something to ryhem with "Okay" so, hey hey hey.
Bulma: That's sweet... Why dont I go try this on?
Vegita: huh?
Bulma: Well you've been gone 2 hours, we have to do it 14 times to make up for that.
Vegita: Well then…no need to waste anymore time!
*next day*
Vegita invited all of Trunks' friend to the house
Ranma: Why are we here-
Vegita: Shut the FUCK up!
Ranma: ….I'm sorry!
Trunks comes down with Kini
Vegita: It's Trunks' first sleep-over!
All: YAY!!! (throws confetti and blowing their horns <epescially Akane>)
Trunks(looks at Vegita): I'll kill you!
Vegita: WHAT!?!
Trunks: I love you!
Girls(whispering to eachother): That is SO embaressing!
Kumon: Who is that FIIIIIINE girl you with (looking at Kini with a Pureto Rican accent) How you doin'?
Trunks: no no no! Shes mine! Youir convicted ass better stay away!
Kini: It doesn't matter, I don't want any of these guys.
All the guys: ….heeeeey…..
Kini: Okay look (points to Ranma) you look like that you were once tough and popular and now someone came along and ruined everything for you and now you're next to nobody. (points to Ryouga) you with the bandana you are the nobody that he hasn't become yet.
Akane(mumbles): I don't like her….
Kini(points to Shinnosuke): you look like a bastard, (points to Kumon) haven't I've seen you on T.V?(points to #17) you look like a jerk off. (points to Jewel and Goten) You two look like nice boys that don't get into any trouble, ya two should hook up, if you know what I mean. Now for the girls!
Akane: OH don't you go starting on the girls, we didn't do shit fuck to you,we dont even know your name!
Kini: The name is Kini.
Akane: What kind of crap shit name is that!? It sounds like a new kind of underwear.
Kini: Well whats your name!?
Akane: AKANE!
Kini: Oh well that's a great name, were I come from Akane means "Big slutty whore!"
Sakura(claps her hands): here too!
Kini: Now…too the girls (points to akane) big slutty whore! You probably go out with "the once tough guy" (points to Sakura) you look like a slut trying to look sexy but you cant, you probably go out with the bastard.
Shinnosuke(slowly speaking): FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU.
Kini(points to Ukyo): you look so pathetic and disgusting you must go out with bandana boy. (points to Mai) you look too nice and too pleasant you must go out with either blondie or spikey maybe both? You're her best friend (points to Akane)
Mai: ahhh… (hyperventalates)
Kini: did I miss something?
Vegita: yea… Ukyo looks portuguese too.
Kini: your right. Now who thinks I'm a bitch?
Akane: show of hands…
Everyone rasies there hands, Shinnosuke rasies two hands, even Trunks rasies his hand.
Kini: Good, you'll learn to like me, I'll be around for a long time.
Vegita: Now all of ya get the fuck out.
Akane: why?
Vegita: I'm gonna watch my show.
Jewel: What show?
Vegita: none of your business! Now get out!
Shinnosuke: huh-
Vegita: DAMNIT! Come on! (opens to the door)one foot in front of the other, left right left right, go go go go! GET THE FUUUUUCK OUT! (slams the door, nods at Bulma andsits on the couch and turns on the T.V) heh (looks to Bulma) cant miss "The View"
