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The Newlywed Game: Pokémon Style!
The Newlywed Game!

Disclaimer: Pokemon does NOT belong to me. (I wish the bishonens did though...) And I kinda got this idea from "Kero-chan’s Newlywed Game" by Yukito no Miko.
Rating: PG? Who knows what’s yet to come?....Maybe PG-13...
Note: I was gonna make it Japanese names so the -chan thing and Miya, Jess's mom, and some other stuff would work, but all aboard cR@ZyNeSs! Oh, and I’m gonna put in 5 couples cuz I can’t bear to let go of Brock and Cassidy!! @_@ I wasn’t supposed to tell... I think that has to wait for another time...Also Gary & 009...Just three couples today!

*Sorry: Some ideas (and whole phrases o^_^o) I stole from Yukito... Gomen nasai!!

The Pokemon Newlywed Game!!
By BrockLuverGurl

Meowth: HII!! And welcome to Meowth-chan’s--
Jessie: No-one calls themself -chan, fool!
Meowth-chan: Your Momma did!
Jessie: Don’t you talk ‘bout my momma!
Meowth: It’s MY show, and if I wanna say, “Welcome to Meowth-chan’s Newlywed Game,” I will! SO, welcome to Meowth-chan’s Newlywed Game, everybod-ay!
Everyone: *GROAN* ^.^;;;;
Meowth: So...Anyway...Meet our four couples!! Couple number one, come on down!!*
James: Actually, the proper term is, "Go down...," I believe.
Jessie: *O_O*
*J & J sit down*
Meowth: *o_o;;* Oh-kay. . . thank you, couple number one. Couple number two, come join us!
*Ash and Misty come out and sit down, amidst cheers from the 'twerpshippers' and screams of horror from the Gymshippers. Ash pulls out Pikachu*
All: ^_^;;
Misty: Ash... I don’t think you can have...
Ash: What Pikachu? *Picks up Pikachu and waves around Misty*
Misty: *pulls out mallet* GET THAT RAT OUTTA MY FACE!!!
*Ash huddles into a corner and dies* *I cheer, “You go, girl!! Kill that boy!”*
Meowth-chan: Right! Let's put that aside! Couple number...three, join us!
Mrs. Ketchum: We are not a couple....anymore!!! Giovanni: Come on, sugar.
Mrs. Ketchum: I am not your 'sugar'! Let go of me! *Giovanni drags Mrs. Ketchum to the third set of chairs and ties her to one of them, then sits in the last chair*
Mrs. Ketchum: Sam-- *has a flashback to one night...Professor Oak says, “If you’re ever in trouble...just call ‘Oak.’* OAK!!
Giovanni: You go for that seventy-year old man instead of me?
Mrs. Ketchum: HE’S SIXTY!...two.
Giovanni: If you don't stop cheating on me, we can't win the contest for the most loving newlyweds!
Mrs. Ketchum: We're not married!!
Giovanni: Of course we are, honey cakes.
Mrs. Ketchum: We're not, we're not!!
Gio: Not even for the grand prize? ^_^
Mrs.: NO!!
James: Hai, Meowth-chan, what is the grand prize? Meowth-chan: An all-expense paid trip to...the Ruins of Alph!!
Mrs.: *freezes* You mean... I could finally spend a weekend with Sam and end this terrible curse?!
All: O_o;;;;
Mrs.: Never mind... >.<
Meowth-chan: Right! Let's put that aside! First question is for the men! *looks @ ash* ...er... Ok! First question! "What is your wife's biggest turn-on?" Couple number one, you can start us out!
James: Oh, that's easy! It's when I wear my bikini! ^_^
Meowth-chan: Wife number one?
*Jessie holds up sign that says, "When James & I wear our bikinis."*
Meowth: I’ll say that counts?! Couple number one has one point! Couple number two?
Ash: Umm... Pokemon--like, water...
Meowth-chan: That's enough of an answer!! Wife number two?
*Misty holds up a sign that says, "When I wear a bikini." Ash falls over*
Meowth-chan: Oh, that's too bad! But we still have lots of questions to go, so don't lose hope yet! Couple number three, what turns your wife on the most?
Giovanni: Feathers. ^_^
Meowth-chan: Wife number three?
*Mrs. Ketchum holds up a sign that says, "I'm not his wife. (feathers)"*
Meowth: Good job! Next question! "Which of Ash’s Pokemon is cutest?"
James: You expect me to answer that?
*Jessie holds up sign: "You expect me to answer that?"*
Meowth: I guess that counts. . . Couple number one has two points! Couple number two?
Ash: All of them.
*Misty holds up a sign that reads, "All of them are cute when Ash lets me have ‘em!"*
All: ^_^;;
Meowth-chan: I guess couple number two has one point! But doesn't anyone I’m the cutest? Couple number three, what's your answer?
Giovanni: If I say you, will we get an extra point?>:)
Meowth-chan: Yes.
Ash: *whining* Meowth, that's not fair!!
Meowth: Yeah, well that's why it's my show and not yours. Couple number three?
Giovanni: Meowth-chan. ^_^
*Mrs. Ketchum holds up a sign that says, "All of my son’s Pokemon are cute and so is he!! But Pikachu. "*
Meowth-chan: Well, you got it wrong but you get a point anyways! Good job!
Giovanni: *smirk* ^_^
Ash: *scowl* >:(
Meowth-chan: Going onto question three, couple number one has two points, couple number two has one point, and couple number three has two points! Question three is "I like a girl who has a sense of humor. Tell me your favorite joke."
*silence*
Meowth-chan: Oops! Wrong questions!! Hahahahaha. . . *throws cards backstage* The real question number three is around here somewhere. . .
*Giovanni’s Persian hands him a set of cards*
Meowth: Thanks! Okay, question number three: "I'm a fool and I consort with goat--" HEY!! These aren't the questions!!
Persian: *smirk*
*Meowth-chan digs around backstage and finally comes up with some questions, hopefully the right ones*
Meowth-chan: Okay! I think these are the right ones! "If your wife was an alarm clock, how would she wake you up?" Couple number one?
James: I'm not sure that I want to say it on television...
Meowth-chan: You have to or you don't get the point. *James walks over to Meowth-chan and the panel of judges and starts whispering to them. Time passes. More time passes. The backstage crew, Brock, falls asleep*
Meowth-chan: Okay, that's enough. **O_O** Wife number one, what did you put?
*Jessie hands him a thick stack of paper*
Meowth-chan: What the. . . this is a...report...of some sort. *someone whispers* This is the Starr Report!
Jessie: Stapled underneath is it. It’s very...er...violent.
Meowth-chan: ***O_O***
Ahem. Judges, will we accept those answers?
Professor Oak: I suppose so.
Meowth-chan: What about the other judges?
*no answer. James’s weird southern mom is still taking notes and Miya has her hands over her ears*
Miyamato: You're talking about my DAUGHTER!!
Gio: *shudders* ... *mumbling* thought...dead...back...?
Miya: *heard* yep! ^_~
Meowth: *sweatdrop* I guess we'll count it, then. . . Couple number two?
Ash: Er...with a hammer??
Misty: *Holds up sign that says, "With a mallet"*
All: ^_^;;
Meowth: Judges?
*the judges confer, Miyamato says “It’s rather harsh...but I like it! Prof. Oak starts talking*
James’s mum: We've decided to accept that ansahr (answer).
Miyamato: Good. Couple number three?
Meowth-chan: Hey, I'm supposed to say that! Couple number three?
Gio: If she found me sleeping she'd take the opportunity to try and go to that old man. ^_^
Meowth: Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought. Well, lady? How would ya wake him up?
*Mrs. Ketchum holds up a sign that says, "With a high-voltage Pikachu"*
Meowth-chan: We'll accept that answer because I like it. Round two after these commercial messages!
*silence*
Meowth-chan: Brock! Run the commercials!
Brock: *wakes up* Hmm?
Meowth-chan: The commercials, the commercials!!
Brock: Oh, right!! o-_-o
Meowth-chan: ~_~;;

*fade to commercial*
********************
Mewtwo: Hello. Have you been feeling down? Like you don't know where your life is going?
James: *dramatically* How did you know?!
Mewtwo: I know everything. Which is why you should call Mewtwo's Psychic Hotline. We'll tell you your destiny in half-truths that you'll later convince yourself were useful predictions and not a waste of 15 bucks a minute.
Misty: Mewtwo told me that I would have to choose between two decisions. I realize now that she was talking about Brock and Ash.
Ash: Mewtwo told me that I would meet a strange challenge. Boy, was he right!
Mewtwo: So call today, and spend hours trying to puzzle out your destiny!
1-800-TRY-NOT-2
James: *even more dramatically* How DOES he DO it?!
********************
*a red-haired girl in jeans and a t-shirt with "Jessie" emblazoned across the chest comes out. Needless to say, it's Jessie in a very unconvincing...er...‘disguise’ *
Jessie: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to say support me in my hostile takeover of the universe, one beating of a man at a time. Jessie for empress. Yay.
*walks off*
James: I support her!
Meowth: That's because she paid you, dude.
James: Actually, no she didn’t...She...
Meowth: PLEASE don’t tell me...I heard last night through the soundproof walls...
*Little square in corner that says “TVG” goes up to “TVR”
*fade out*

Meowth-chan: Konyanyachiwa!! {author's note: kawaii way 2 say it!} Have you been brushing your teeth? Good! If you haven't your parents might not let you keep watching the hit new show, Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game! We're back with out three couples! Now it's time for the wives to answer the questions. Our first question is, "What is the strangest place you have ever--" *turns red* Who worded this?
*Brock waves*
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; "What is the strangest place you have ever *mumbles*
James: I didn't even know that was a term for it...
Jessie: I did.
All: ^_^;;
Meowth-chan: o_o; Husband number one, what do you think wife number one put?
James: *thinks* In the National Park?
Meowth-chan: >_< Now that that image is in our heads, what did wife number one put?
*Jessie holds up a sign that says, "In the freezer at the PokeCenter." Everyone who had frozen food in the previous month starts gagging*
Jessie: I thought we weren't going to tell anyone about the Park, James...
James: We weren't going to tell anyone about the freezer thing either.
Jessie: Oops... but at least neither of us mentioned the--
*James claps a hand over her mouth. Jessie bites him*
James: Ow! Don't do that!
Jessie: You started it...
James: I want you to touch me gently...
Jessie: Later, when we're alone.
*rose petals blow across the stage*
All: o_O;;
Meowth-chan: Moving onto couple number two... as quickly as possible...
Ash: Uhhh.....
Meowth-chan: What?
*Misty holds up a sign that simply says, "Uh...."*
Meowth-chan: Judges, will we accept that answer?
*Miyamato and James’s mom confer. Prof. Oak’s covering his ears*
Judges: Yep.
Meowth-chan: Err... of course not. Let's put that aside. Couple number three, dare I ask?
Mrs. Ketchum: *slightly red* We NEVER [censored]!!!
Brock: Wow, even I didn't know that was a term for it.
Jessie: I did.
All: o_o;
*Giovanni holds up his "She'll deny our many nights of passion..." sign*
Gio: And this time, I’m not lying!! Otherwise, how’d Ash be here??
*Ash turns green*
Misty: Giovanni, you're really good! I bet you make your wife very happy!
Mrs. Ketchun: I'm not his wife!!
Meowth-chan: ~_~;; {author's note: he's making this face a lot. It must hurt his mug. lol.} Let's move on to the next question, shall we? This one's multiple choice, so we don't have to worry about inappropriate answers. "How would you describe your honeymoon: Relaxing, Exciting, or Boring?"
Audience: OoOoOoOoOo...
Meowth-chan: Couple number one, start us off.
Jessie: Relaxing.
*James's sign: "Relaxing. Very"*
Meowth-chan: *breaths a sigh of relief* Thanks for not explai--
Jessie: With the roses...And the bed...
Meowth-chan: Too much information!
James: But the hot tub...
Meowth-chan: *attempts to cover ears* Yecch!
*James and Jessie shrug*
Mewoth-chan: Next! Next!
Misty: Exciting.
*Ash holds up a sign with "Exciting" written in big letters*
Meowth-chan: Moving on before you try and explain your answer...
Misty&Ash: *blush* It's not like THAT!
Meowth-chan: Couple number three! Please end this question!
Mrs. Ketchum: We had no honeymoon because WE'RE NOT MARRIED!!!! anymore, and I wouldn’t like to discuss cheating on Sammy...
Giovanni holds up his sign, which says, "She'll deny the very existence of our honeymoon, including the nights of endless pleasure we spent-" and brakes off where he ran out of room to write*
*Ash & his mom turn bright green and rush for the bathrooms. After having lost their lunches, they return and sit back down*
Misty: Mom (can I call you that), why didn't you take that opportunity to escape?
Mrs. Ketchum: O_O! (<--- didn't think of it...) and yes you can call me mommy.
*Giovanni, by this time, has re-tied her*
Mrs. Ketchum: :/
Giovanni: There, there, muffin. They know you just don't want to leave my side.
Ash: Yeah, that'd be a good reason.
Mrs. Ketchum: But... but...
Gio: Why else would I risk untying her so she could deal with her morning sickness?
Mrs. Ketchum: Wha...?
Misty: *claps hands* She will make a wonderful mother! And, you, Ash, a brother; and me... AN OLDER SISTER!!!!! HOORAY!!!
Ash: A BROTHER!!! *scream*
Mrs. Ketchum: I'M NOT PREGNANT!!
Giovanni: If it's a girl we'll name her Giovanna or Ashley.
Mrs. Ketchum: !!!!! *passes out*
Giovanni: *pats her hand* There, there, love. *to others* She must be feeling bad. Please, feel free to move onto the next question.
Meowth: Thanks... Going into the bonus round, couple three is in the lead, followed by couple two and couple one. The bonus question is worth five points, so any of our contestants could win. The bonus question is: "If your husband had to sum up your sex drive in one word, it would be [blank]" Oh, I can't WAIT to hear these answers. *wince*
Jessie: Slow.
Meowth-chan: You expect me to believe that after what I've heard today?
Jessie: Well, compared to his...
*James holds up a sign that says, "Well, it is kind of slow...",
Kero-chan: Couple number one is now in the lead with 9 points, though that doesn't mean anything, in the least, since no one else has answered the bonus question. Couple number two, your move.
Misty: Creative!
*Ash holds up his sign: "Kinky"* (he should've wrote sleazy)
Meowth-chan: Judges?
*brief yet amusing judge conference, which includes James’s mum jumping on the table and demanding justice; "how dareah you! this is may desicion!!"*
Meowth-chan: Have you decided?
Miyamato: We'll accept it.
Prof. Oak: *opens mouth* ... *cowers under James’s mum’s glare*
Meowth-chan: Okay! Couple number two is now in first place! Couple number three, final question, final answer. How would your husband sum up your sex drive?
Mrs. Ketchum: Non-existent.
*Giovanni holds up his sign: "Since she's embarrassed about the fact that she likes to [censored]...*
Brock: Oooh, more new vocabulary! *writes down*
*"...she'll pretend that she's as innocent as a schoolgirl"*
Meowth-chan: Then, I guess couple number three wins. Congratulations, kid, you're going to a fabulous second honeymoon in the Ruins of Alph!
Mrs. Ketchum: But Prof. Oak is taking me there anyway to study! How is that a vacation?
Announcer (Brock): You've won an all-expense paid trip to the beauuutiful Ruins of Alph, where you'll enjoy--
Mrs. Ketchum: Who says I'll enjoy it?!
Brock: The announcement.
Mrs. Ketchum: Why should I believe it?
Brock: Because it was written by Mewtwo’s Psychic Hotline.
Giovanni: Come on, dear. The vacation will relive stress, and everyone knows future mothers should avoid stress.
Mrs. Ketchum: *grumbles*
*Giovanni drags her offstage to go catch their plane. Jessie and James are sucking face. Brock throws a blanket over them. Ash is dancing with Pikachu...Misty is running after them with a mallet*
Meowth-chan: Well, it seems we ended a little early. But that's okay, because--
Cassidy: I'll be singing for you! Everyone agrees that I have the best singing voice! *grumbles* better than Jessie's, that--
Meowth-chan: That wasn't quite--
Cassidy: *sings* ~Ooohhh......I’m a genie in a bottle...........~
Meowth-chan: Just roll next week's previews.
~~Next time on Meowth-chan's Newlywed Game~~
Meowth-chan: "If you didn't exist and your wife had to choose one of these people to marry, who would they choose?"
*Gary and Domino walk out*
Mondo: *looks nauseated* I think he'd choose Cassidy...
Brock: *acting high/drunk/both* HE’LL NEVER GET HER!! NEVER!!!!!!!
~~end clip~~
Cassidy: ~Gotta rub mee the right way!!~
Meowth-chan: See you next week, everyone! Bai bai! Cassidy: ~There’s a priiiice to pay!!!...~
*fade out*

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