Picture Series 1 PG-13 Hey! It's me, LadyBlue, here to give you more Fanfic. Yay! In the past, I haven't exactly given you my screen name, but hey! That makes it more fun! I can't talk long. I'm currently in a federal prison for using all the sugar packets at Starbucks. But that's okay! As long as I have my laptop and my coffee, I can write Fanfiction. All of you probably know my accomplice, Lady Blackdragon(Hi ya Maia-chan! Whasssssssuuupppppppppppp?!!!!) and her accomplice, if you don't know them, oh well. Hope this is decaf. "Prisoner number 284?" Uh-oh, gotta go. They mustn't know I have caffeine or any contact with the outside world. Later! P.S. Send 50 bucks to bust me outta jail. Hello. I am Lady Blackdragon. You might know me from such mushy fics as Spying is Bad for Your Health and A Silver Crescent Moon. However, this is NOT a mushy fic. It is for comedic purposes only. It may contain hints(okay, declarations) of homosexuality and/or gayness. I am sorry to tell you that my friend LadyBlue should most definitely not be sent 50 bucks because she is in without bond, and will not be released until after her trial. I'm sorry I haven't published anything recently but I'm still in therapy after watching the outcome of the O. J Simpson trial three years ago. Needless to say, I was given a ticket yesterday for high-jacking a '97 black Chevy with a home depot shopping cart handle, and crashing it into a nursing home and purposely hitting my evil neighbors grandmother. Oh come on! They're old people! They're gonna kick the bucket someday. Why not sooner than later? And anyway, we need that space on the earth for children. Unfortunately, that excuse didn't work because last time I hit a toddler and said we needed space for old people. But fear not, I only spent two nights in jail for the incident so here I am, writing pointless author's notes. So the story is about a picture and it's the first in a large series of pointless comedic outtakes that lead up to no apparent climax. Thank you and good luck trying to keep a straight face. Signed: Your sofa... okay you know I am NOT your sofa so I can only be one other thing. Lady Blackdragon. ************************ (Note: this is more like a play with a narrator.) Mars(checks watch):Well, it's getting late, so lets start this meeting. Moon: Finally. I think we should have snacks at meetings. All a agree say Ai! Mars: That's not the purpose of this meeting. Adolescent and changes for no apparent reasons to meetings are the subject to next week's. Moon: Who made you the boss? Mars: Naoko. Moon: Screw her. Just then, a bolt of lightning from nowhere struck Usagi. Mercury: So what IS the purpose of this meeting? Jupiter: Yeah! I missin' an episode of Ricky Lake. Mars: We have to plan our next move. Uranus: Done! We go up the ladder, onto the roof, hop across this building and we'll have beat the traffic to Baskin' Robbin's. Moon: I like it. Meeting adjourned! Mars: Not so fast. Moon: Okay. Mmmeeeettttiiinnnggg aaajjjooouuurrnnneeedd. Mars: I meant....oh shut-up and listen. The Negaverse attacked Crystal Tokyo yesterday at nine-o-clock. And Joey said that if we jump across this lake tomorrow at sunrise, we'll.... Moon: Wait a minute, who's Joey? Mercury(takes out a picture from her pocket): A really cute boy with thick bushy hair and the deepest green eyes.......*Sigh*.... She seemed to melt into her romantic day dream. Wait a minute...Ami? Obsessing over a guy? The world has come to an end. Jupiter: Hey! Let me see! Moon: Me too! Mars rolled her eyes in disbelief as the three girls stared at the picture. Moon(blushing):*Sigh* He's dreamy. Jupiter(also blushing): He looks just like.....just like...... Mars(folding her arms): Your old boyfriend? Jupiter: How'd you know? Mars: Took a wild guess. Uranus: Spare me. The door squeaked open and a blond with a red bow in her hair walked in. Venus: WWWWAAASSSSUUUUPPPPP? Hey! Who's that? Mercury: Joey, the new exchange student. Venus: Wow! Is he hot or what? Mars and Uranus looked at each other. Could it get any worse? Chibi-Usa(walks in):What are you looking at? Moon: A really cute guy. Chibi-Usa saw the picture and decided to join the club of slobbering idiots. Venus: *Sigh* I think I'm in love. Uranus: I think I'm gonna be sick. Neptune stepped in to see a pile of blushing girls staring at a piece of paper. Neptune: Sup? Everybody? Uranus: I smell an affair. Neptune: Who's that? He's cute. Jupiter: *sigh*My new boyfriend. Moon: You're boyfriend? He's my boyfriend! Jupiter: I dibs'd him first. Moon: Did Not! Jupiter: Did Too! Moon: Did Not!!!! Mercury: Technicly, he's MY boyfriend. I'm the one with the picture. Usagi and Makoto looked at each other and then turned to the blue-haired scout. Jupiter: Not for long. The two ganged up on Mercury. Of course, Minako couldn't just stand there while she could be dating a cute guy and joined the fight for the picture as Mars and Uranus looked on with awe. Then again, Neptune and Chibi-Moon couldn't just stand there while the others were fighting over their man, so the room was filled with the sound of punches and broken nails. Jupiter: He's mine! Moon: Give me that picture!! Venus: Has anybody seen my bow? Uranus(turning to Mars): This is sad. Mars(nods her head in agreement.) Pluto(Walking out of the bathroom): Hey, yal! Oh my gwad! He is like so totally hot!! Mars and Uranus looked on as Pluto joined the bunch. Saturn walked in quietly and stood next to them. Saturn: What's going on? Uranus: You DON'T want to know. A gust of wind blew the picture from Ami's hand and into Philp's, Makoto's old boyfriend. Philp: Hey! Cute guy! The girls stopped fighting to stare at the man in the doorway. Mars: Philp? What are you doing here? Philp: uh...I was looking for the bar. Venus: Down stairs. Philp: Thanks, man. Moon(grabbing the picture from his hand):I'll take that. Mercury: Hey that's mine! Mars: Philp? Get out. Phlip walked out, closing the door behind him. Venus(leaning towards Jupiter):Psst! Did you know you boyfriend was gay? Jupiter: That's why I broke up with him. The moment of silence ended as the battle for the now torn up picture continued. Neptune: Give it!! Chibi-Usa: Stop hogging my boyfriend. Uranus: *gasp* This is fat-free? Saturn: Holy Crap! Aliens! Mars: Hey look! The Ice cream truck! At the heavenly sound of the trunk down stairs, Usagi withdrew from the fight and fumbled through her backpack nervously, looking for change. A dark haired man wearing an ugly green jacket walked in a few seconds later to see the room filled with dirt covered girls. Mamoru: What the...... Mars: Don't ask! Jupiter: Hey! Let go! He's mine! Mamoru: Oh. I smell a scandal. Venus: I'm blind! Pluto: It's like tape, you idiot! Moon: Yes! 75 cents! Usagi zoomed out the door. Mamoru decided it was time to leave when the girls started squirting liquid soap at each other, he was afraid it would ruin his perfectly good jacket. Venus: I'm really blind this time! Uranus(handing a wrapped package to Mars): Big Mac? Mars: Thanks. Saturn: I'll be in Greenland if you need me. Mercury: My glasses! Neptune: Oh, shut-up! The girls went on to throwing stuff after the soap ran out. Mars and Uranus stood at the side line eating their sandwiches while Saturn went on-line to book airplane tickets, and a tour of EskimoLand, a local theme park in Greenland. Then, the door squeaked again. Philp: Hey! The Gay bar isn't down stairs! He was knocked out by a flying chair a moment later. Mars: That's the first reasonable thing you guys have done all day. Uranus: Weren't we here today for some other reason? Saturn: Not that I know of. Well, c'ya. Uranus: Later! Mars: Sayonara! A tall blond man walked through the open door. Motoki: Hey! Minako! You were supposed to meet me at the arcade an hour ago! Venus: Hi Motoki! Can't talk! I'm blind, and I'm fighting in the name of love. Gimme that picture! Motoki: Er, what? Venus(throwing a lamp): Girl thing. Motoki: Oh. He turned and headed for the door. Motoki(to himself): Wonder if I should be suspicious? He shrugged and headed for the door, only to trip over the unconscious body of Philp and stumble out the door. Mars looked up from the chess board to see what had caused such a large crash. Motoki: Mamoru! What are you doing here? Mamoru: Waiting for my girlfriend to finish chasing the ice cream truck down the road. Motoki: Who's your girlfriend? Mamoru: Guess. Motoki: Oh. Back at Mako-chan's apartment, the fight continues. Uranus: Check-mate. Mars:[censored] Jupiter(turning towards Ami): I'm tired. Mercury(leaning against the wall): Me too. Chibi-Usa: Ai!! Mercury looked at the young child that had just crashed into the wall next to her. Neptune and Venus were lying on the floor. Pluto was knocked out, and Makoto was lying on the floor next to Ami. Saturn was nowhere to be seen. Uranus had beat Mars at chess for the eighth consecutive time. Andrew, Mamoru and Philp were heading out, and Usagi was carrying an ice cream cone. Jupiter: Is there any thing left of that picture? Mercury(reaching inside her pocket): It's gone!! The girls looked all around the room, but the picture was nowhere to found. Uranus and Mars decided to play Ping-Pong, as Pluto came to her senses and stole Usagi's ice cream. Moon: Hey! I chased the truck five miles down the road for that! Pluto: Like get a room! Mercury and Jupiter never did find the picture. Joey went back to England, and Usagi followed Haruka's plan to Baskin' Robbin's, only to realize she had forgotten her money at home. Rei and Haruka played a quiet game of football. Chibi-Usa got her own TV show called "The Little Pink Demon On Daytime Television", Saturn never came back. Mercury got her glasses repaired as Minako went down to the trift store to by a new bow. Jupiter got a new NORMAL boyfriend, and Pluto stared in the "Like-Like" show, which is like-like totally cool! But what ever DID happen to that picture? That remains a mystery. (25 miles away) Philp(reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumbled photograph): BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I guess this is the end of the line. Until next time, if there is a next time(I am not sure that there will be, the way I'm getting hounded by the cops). I hope that this might have helped coma patients, by keeping them out for another year. No, really, I hope it helped do something this summer 2000. Uh... bye! Lady Blackdragon I have nothing whatsoever to do with Lady Blackdragon’s criminal pursuits...OW! Quit it!( Lady Blackdragon hits her upside the head with cutie moon rod)Ahem. The marvelous, wonderful, talented, Lady Blackdragon's criminal pursuits. Lady Blackdragon: Much Better. Sign your name, you friend that I happen to own. Lady Blue: At least I'm not the one who goes around killing defenseless old ladies. (Another whack with the cutie moon rod) Alright, Alright, I get the picture. Signed: LadyBlue