"Never Sleep Again"

Rated: G

Set:  R Season

AN's:  Yes *shudder* I made a fic that included....the spore....I know I know, Chibi-Usa's 
awful!  She drives me wild with annoyance in the anime (I totally sympathize with Serena
detesting her ne?) but the good news is *I* *nat-chan waves her magic fic wand* have made her
get better during this fic!  That's right!  You heard it here first, Nat-chan has REFORMED THE 
SPORE!!  heh heh, okay, enough Chibi-Usa bashing...onto the fic.  It IS a romance minna!  Don't
click away!  Stoooopppp!! Romanctic and mushy I promise!!!

Thanks:  Thanks to my great girl-friends online who've been writing me and making me feel
better lately!!  My pal Grace 'course!  ^_~ and Silver Bunny--who just posted her first fic
"Truth or Dare" you absolutely MUST go read it minna, sooooo kawaii, finish soon 
Bunny-chan kay? 

Special Thanks:  I was inspired to write this by a fic at www.moonchronicles.com called 
"The Best Birthday Present Ever" by Sailor Eclipse.  A very kawaii short that deals with the
R season Darien nightmares too!  ^_~

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~Another day.  Another day without her.~

Mamoru sighed.  He was walking through the park hand in hand with Chibi-Usa,
who was obliviously enjoying an ice cream.
He brightened a little.  She always cheered him somehow.  Even in this time of great pain
and fear.
He'd broken it off with Usagi.  Terrified for her life.  Giving in to the nightmares, the 
sensation in his body screaming that she was in danger, the dark voice commanding him to 
stay away or she would die.
He was never supersitious but....every night....everytime he say her.  It was too much.
But he missed her as he'd never missed anyone.  His one and only love.  The only experience
of love he could remember--but he could remember two lifetime's worth....

He hated being the source of hurt in her life--it seemed he always was.
How she considered him a blessing he would never truly understand.  There was always a little
awe in his heart at her love for him.

He became aware of Chibi-Usa tugging on his hand.

"Hmm?  Hai, Chibi-Usa?"

She regarded him thoughtfully a moment, "I've been calling your name for a while 
now.....are you thinking about...Usagi-chan?"

His face registered surprise, "Hai...Chibi-Usa..."  he replied softly, looking down.

"Do you...miss her?"  Chibi-Usa asked uncertainly.

He met her eyes and for once, did not mask his sadness, he nodded, "Very much."

Chibi-Usa frowned, "Why?  I thought you didn't like her!  She's always tripping and crying
and-and flunking school!  She's not good at anything!"

Mamoru was silent a moment.
"She tries."  He said softly and a little absently, "That ought to count for something..."
His thoughts drifted off then and he didn't notice how Chibi-Usa fell silent, taken aback
by this.

She frowned and then looked at his sad face again.  Her childishness took over again, the 
moment of insight gone...
"C'mon!"  She said taking off in a run, dragging him after her, "Let's go play!"


He seemed to perk up at this and chased her to the playground, pushing her on the swing and then
walking her home on his shoulders--returning to his usual teasing, chuckly self.
But when he reached the front gate of Usagi's house, and waved goodbye to Chibi-Usa, she didn't
catch the sad, longing glance he gave Usagi's window.

Usagi was at her window and saw him, but he turned quickly before she could catch the look
on his face.  She turned away in tears and tried to focus her attention back onto her studies.
She struggled through her math homework, blinking back the tears still threatening to spill.

~My first love.  My only love.  For now and all time....~

Chibi-Usa poked her head in the door, mouthful of cookies, gazing rather uncertainly at her.

Usagi sighed, "You were out with Mamo-Mamoru-san, Chibi-Usa?"

She nodded, "Hai, Usagi-chan."

"Have a good time?"

She nodded again.

Usagi nodded a little, "That's nice."  She said softly, too tired and sad to worry about being
defensive with her.

Chibi-Usa stepped into the room, "Watcha doin'?"

"Math."  Said Usagi dully, "At least I'm trying to..."  She added.

Chibi-Usa looked as if she were going to say something--some comment at her expense no doubt,
but she stopped short at the word 'trying' and Mamoru's words from earlier repeated in her
young mind.
She hopped over to Usagi and smiled, "Keep trying Usagi-chan, I'm sure you'll get it!"
And then she skipped out leaving a cookie on Usagi's math book.

Usagi stared rather blankly from door to cookie.
~Huh?!~
"No way!  The spore was actually nice to me!"
And it cheered her more than she cared to admit.

moonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstar

For Mamoru however, that night was the beginning of the end.  

He woke up choked with fear and distress from another nightmare--this had become usual--but
this time, when he woke, he was already transformed into Tuxedo Mask--so strong was the instinct
to protect.
The sight of her being torn away from him, killed, bit at his heart.  He vowed that night, that
he would not sleep again.  Would not face that dream again.
Instead he lept out the window into the night and tore across town to Usagi's house.
He landed lightly at her window, relieved beyond words or thoughts or tears that she was 
sleeping softly--though her cheeks were tear-stained.  

He contented himself with watching her sleep.  Knowing she was safe.  His heart ached unbearably,
but at least his mind was no longer free to torture him.
He stayed till sunrise, till Usagi began to stir ever so slightly....
Then he returned home to face the day.

It became routine all too quickly.  He simply stopped sleeping altogether, watched her every
night--burning with unspoken love for her--just out of reach.

But he slowly began to suffer for it.  A person cannot survive well without sleep.  His studies
kept up, but his job began to ask him if he was well.  The dark circles under his eyes, the
way he slipped off into daydream....the despondent posture....

Chibi-Usa began to notice the change as well, "What's wrong Mamo-chan?"  She asked him one day
when he simply did not have the energy to play tag with her, or even lift her up.

"Nothing Chibi-Usa, just not feeling that terrific."

"Are you sick?"

"No."

"Yes you are!  You should call your Mommy and Daddy to take care of you!"

He smiled faintly at this and a little sadly, "I'm too old for that Chibi-Usa, and I don't 
have a Mommy and Daddy any more, they died when I was six years old."

"Oh!"  She choked sadly and her eyes looked so much like Usagi's at that moment that he caught
his breath and stared at her with surprise, coming out of his fog for a moment.

Chibi-Usa was horrified.  And it was then she realized that the only person who could take care
of her beloved Mamo-chan was Usagi....the only person who could love him--besides her and she
couldn't stay forever...she had her own Mommy and Daddy waiting for her...in the future...

She threw her small arms around his leg, "I'm sorry Mamo-chan!  I love you!  I'll try to take 
care of you!"

Mamoru smiled and picked her up--though with some effort, "You're sweet Chibi-Usa, y'know that?
I love you too."

She smiled happily at him.  But getting a good look at his face she realized he really wasn't
well.  
~He lives all alone.  With no one to love and take care of him.  Maybe....maybe I should tell
Usagi-chan....~

And she left that day with all intensive purposes of finding Usagi and telling her.  But Usagi
had gone out...for the first time in ages.  
So Chibi-Usa wished with all her little heart that she would find him and take care of him...

moonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstarmoonstar

Usagi did just that.  Walking along the street past the building where Darien worked just in time
to see them boot him out the door, telling him to go home and get well before he came back.

She watched his figure stumble down the steps and noticed his terrible posture.  The slow, almost
painful steps he took.  Then he looked up and she gasped, his face!  The dark circles about his
eyes!

"Mamo-chan!" She cried without thinking and was surprised when his head shot up immediately.
His eyes focusing on her weakly.

"Usako...no....you have to stay away..." That was all he got out as he fell to his knees.

She rushed over and caught him before he fell completely, cradling his shoulders and face in her
arms, "Mamo-chan...what's wrong?  Are you sick?"

But he had collapsed from exhaustion and was passed out completely.  She looked quickly around
the street and saw no one was around.  There was no way she could carry him anywhere.
She pulled out the silver crystal and whispered to it, "Take us to Mamo-chan's apartment."

The silver glow encased them and they materialized in his room where she managed to get him
to his bed.  Then she called Ami in a panic and had her rush over as Sailor Mercury to scan him
with her computer and find out what was wrong.

Ami was there in minutes and checked him thoroughly.  Then she stepped back and faced Usagi,
"He's just exhausted Usagi-chan....like he hasn't slept in weeks.  He needs rest."

Usagi's face clouded with relief and she hugged the gentle Senshi of Water,
"Arigato Ami-chan."

Ami nodded and left.  Usagi turned back to Mamoru and sat gently on the bed beside him,
"Mamo-chan....what have you done to yourself?  Rest....rest..."

But his face suddenly tightened and his body went tense, tears squeezed from his eyes and ran
down his cheeks and he cried out "No!"  so loudly that she jumped up.
He was having a nightmare!

"Usako!  No!"

She shook him, "Mamo-chan, I'm here!  Wake up!  It's all a bad dream!"

But he wouldn't wake...he was too tired....trapped in his nightmare.
She watched his agonized face and couldn't bear it.  She grabbed the silver crystal once again,
"Take me into his dream!"  She commanded and vanished in the silver glow.

She found herself in a crowded church, full of flowers and people laughing and smiling...
~This can't be right!~  She thought with panic but then she saw them....Mamo-chan and she 
getting married...white dress...veil...flowers in her hair...
He smiled down tenderly at her and she felt tears in her eyes....He bent to kiss her but a 
sudden blast of dark energy tore them apart and she watched her body ripped away from him 
and the scene crumble to blackness....watched as his face registered horror and fear as he
cried out her name, trying desperately to reach her....
"Usako!"

"Mamo-chan!" She cried, running towards him, crying.  What was all this?  What did it mean?

He spotted her with shock and then relief, he ran and caught her up in his arms fiercely,
"Usako, you're alright? Usako, I was so scared!  So scared!"

Since they had first met, Usagi had never heard Mamoru admit he was afraid--had believed he was
actually fearless.  And now he was sobbing the words over and over into her hair, holding her
as though---as though she might me torn from his arms any moment.

"Mamo-chan, it's okay, it's all just a dream, I'm here.  I'm alright."

But then a dark voice boomed into the silence, "Prince Endymion, you must stay away from
Princess Serenity!"

Usagi looked up with surprise and felt Mamoru tremble in her arms.  She was filled with anger.
This dream.  He was terrified.  Her precious, fearless Mamo-chan was being tortured by this
dream and voice.

"Who are you?"  She called out angrily.  

No reply.

"Coward!"  She cried out, "Show yourself!  How dare you torment him?  Don't you know he's been
through enough?"

A long silence was broken by the voice, "Serenity?"  It asked uncertainly, and it began to take
a different quality, a more familiar one.

"Who are you?"  She asked again, softly.

And suddenly the voice was Mamoru's but not, "Forgive me Princess.......I had to make sure your
love was strong enough....to face the troubles of the future..."

"Of course it is!"  She bit out angrily, tears running down her cheeks.  

A faint image of Tuxedo Mask....though in purple...appeared before them and bowed, 
"Forgive me.  I know you're strong enough."

Mamoru stared at the image in wonder.  Then he turned back to face Usagi,
"I..."

She hugged him tight, "Oh Mamo-chan, I understand.  It's alright now.  Just rest."

He fell to his knees exhausted, "I stopped sleeping.....I watched over you....wouldn't sleep 
again...."  He was drifting into real sleep now.

"Forgive me Usako...."  He murmured sweetly, "I love you.  Nothing could ever change that.  
You are my first love.  My only love..."

"...for now and all time."  She finished with him, smiling.  She bent and kissed him, then
cradled him in her arms till he fell asleep.  Then she freed herself of his dreams and tucked
him into his real bed, stroking his face gently.  She layed down beside him, intent on sleeping
herself when there was a sharp knock on the door.

Startled she made her way carefully, it was late at night by now.  Peering out the peep hole she
was shocked to see who was there.

"Chibi-Usa!"  she gasped, sweeping the small child inside, "What are you doing here?"

Chibi-Usa looked at her fearfully, "Y-You never came home!  I told your Mommy you stayed at Rei's
cause I figured you found Mamo-chan....he's sick.....but then I had a bad dream about him
and...and...you weren't there..."  She finished in tears and Usagi picked her up.

"It's okay.  I can't believe you came over here all by yourself!"

She began to walk towards Mamoru's room, "Mamo-chan's alright now, he just needs to rest."

She put Chibi-Usa on the bed next to him, "See?"

Chibi-Usa looked at his peacefull face, still haggard from lack of sleep--though healing quickly
due to his Earth Powers.  She nodded.

"Can I stay here?"  She asked softly.

Usagi nodded and then winked, "Considering you covered for me at home, I think so!"

Chibi-Usa giggled and Usagi suddenly forgot all the reasons she hadn't liked her.  Especially
when she held out her small arms and curled up with her to sleep.  They made quite the sight.
Darien laying in a curve with Chibi-Usa between him and Usagi.  

Usagi stroked the small girl's hair till she fell asleep and watched over them both a long 
while before giving into sleep herself.  She was overwhelmed with a strange sense of love and...
...pride?  for them both.

It was Mamoru who woke first, and found the two girls curled up next to him.  He smiled and
pulled Chibi-Usa over to one side and tucked Usagi into the other.

Chibi-Usa woke and giggled, snuggling in closer, "I'm glad you're better."  she whispered.

He smiled and winked at her.  They checked the clock and he nodded towards the kitchen.
She nodded in reply and they looked at Usagi who was sleeping deeply, snoring.

They crept out and left her to sleep.  Then they made as many pancakes, slices of bacon and
eggs as his frying pan would allow before returning to wake her.

"I'm surprised the smell hasn't woken her up yet!"  Chibi-Usa observed laughing.

Mamoru smiled, "She must REALLY be tired."  He turned to Chibi-Usa, "You go get the table 
ready and I'll get her up kay?"

Chibi-Usa nodded, though she had no intention of doing any such thing.  She crept up behind him
and spied on the whole scene.

Mamoru slipped in quietly and gathered her into his arms, "Usako.."  He murmured softly,
"Time to get up..."

"Mmmmnnnoooo, just a few more minutes...."

He picked her up and she moaned in protest, "There's pancakes."  He teased.

Her eyes flew open, "Food?"  

Chibi-Usa choked back giggles from the doorway.

"Yup!"

She dropped her feet to the floor, wide awake, "You know I never turn down food!"
And she made for the doorway, sending Chibi-Usa running for the table, when Mamoru caught her
back into his arms, "Usako..."

"Hai?"  She asked gently.

"Arigato......ashiteru..."

Her eyes softened, "Ashiteru Mamo-chan."  

He leaned down and kissed her deeply, holding her tight....and from then on she always
recognized the hidden fear in his clutch....the fierce desire to protect.....the depth of
his love...

"I'll never leave."  She murmured reassuringly against his lips.

"Gods I hope not."  He whispered sincerely.

Then they headed for the kitchen arm in arm.  True to form, Chibi-Usa had set the table.

"Breakfast Princess..."  Mamoru teased Usagi lightly, gesturing with his arm to the delicious 
spread.

Chibi-Usa started.  The image of them together was oddly familiar....and "Princess?"

She became quite pale as she approached them, "Are you a Princess?"  she asked Usagi seriously.

It was Mamoru who answered, "Hai Chibi-Usa."  he winked.

"And are you a Prince?"

Neither noticed how she was trembling now.

"Hai!"  Usagi exclaimed, "Prince of Earth!"

Mamoru raised an eyebrow, surprised she confessed that, but then what would it mean to
Chibi-Usa?  She was just a child.

"Prince of Earth?"  She repeated incredulously, "And you're Princess of the Moon?"

Now Usagi stopped short, "How could you...??"

Chibi-Usa ran towards them, "You're my Momma and Daddy!"

"Nani?!?"  They exclaimed together as she burst into tears.

"In the future...you're my Momma and Daddy!"

They looked at one another a moment and then at her, tears running down her pale face.
Those eyes....that hair....could it be?

"Momma I'm sorry!  It's all my fault!  It's all my fault!"  She sobbed, wrapping around Usagi's
legs.

Usagi looked at her awestruck a moment but then bent down and gathered her tenderly in her arms,
"It's alright, shhhh Chibi-Usa...whatever it is I forgive you."

Darien watched her with awe.  Cradling--could it be?  There future daughter?  It made sense.
He smiled and put his arms around them both.
Chibi-Usa cried herself to sleep, apologizing and making very little sense.  But they knew
the truth now and they'd help her.
With his arms around them, and Chibi-Usa sleeping in Usagi's arms, Mamoru was filled with an
emotion too strong to name.  He tilted Usagi's chin up,
"I don't think I've ever loved you more than at this moment."
She smiled.

Then she tucked Chibi-Usa carefully in bed.  They stood over her, arm in arm, watching her
sleep with awe.

"Our daughter?"  Usagi said softly.

He turned her to face him with unspoken tenderness etched across his face,
"Hai..."

Her eyes softened, then she smiled wickedly, "Where on earth did she get that hair from?"

He chuckled, "Not my side of the family....I think..."

She giggled.

And he bent to kiss her gently,  "I'm so grateful."  He said softly.

"Hmmm?"  She asked dazedly.

"So grateful to have you and your love and this promise of a beautiful future.  I-I don't feel
like I deserve it.."  He began to choke up, "But I'm so grateful..."

She silenced him, "So am I.  So am I."

She wrapped her arms about his neck, "I think we make a good pair."

He smiled, "Hai, Usako."  He looked at Chibi-Usa, "And a good family."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

Awwwww.....see minna?  The spore CAN be reformed!  ;P
Hope ya liked.  Just a sappy short to prolong the rather painful number of long
fics I have on the go!  ^_^