A Bicycle Built For 4 (Part 1) By: Miss ParaPara email me at Rated R Author's Note: Hi, this is Miss ParaPara here. I hope you enjoy this fanfic. This is a parody and I'll be making fun of some characters, so please don't take offense. Sailor Moon belongs to TOEI Animation & DiC(k). Don't bother suing me for writing this fic 'cause I have no money. If you like it check out part 2 " A Bicycle Built For 4 part 2- Where's The Bike?" E-mail me at Also I just want everyone to know that just because I'm using Dic names doesn't mean I'm a Dic fan. I've seen & prefer the Japanese version over Dic any day. Anyway I would very much like it if you could draw me some fan art to go with this fic. PLEASE^_^ ............................................................................ A Bicycle Built For 4.By: Miss ParaPara ............................................................................ The four generals sat at their kitchen table. They were all eating cereal and drinking orange juice. Zoicite had just finished her juice and grabbed Nephlyte's glass. " Hey you bitch!" exclaimed a angry Nephlyte," Give that back!" " Never" replied Zoicite. She drank up the juice. Malachite could hear their fighting. Having Queen Baryl's four high youmas living in the same house was not a good idea! He had told the queen that before the house was built. But Baryl had been sure that the four should learn to get along and that by having them all in the same house they would " behave" themselves. She didn't want Nephlyte bringing home a couple low youma females every night, or worst yet his human girlfriend, Molly. He was such a playboy and Baryl hoped that he would someday have the hots for her. Malachite had gained a new duty. Besides training the lower youma of the Negaverse, he also had to look after the other three high youma. He liked to pretend that they were his little kids, especially Jedite. The high youmas hated this, except Jedite, but they let Malachite play his game and do what he told them, mostly because they didn't want to get killed. Malachite went into the kitchen to see Zoicite & Nephlyte pouring Jedite's cereal on top of his head. Milk poured down his face and through his blond hair. Jed was screaming and crying. " Stop that!" Malachite rushed over and smacked both Zoicite & Nephlyte in the head," Leave Jed alone. You know better than to pick on a weak useless high youma. Your behavior was defiantly not a youma!" Zoicite & Nephlyte apologized, while Malachite washed Jedite up. " You need a bath, Jed. Your hair needs washing. Take off those underwear, so I can scrub your..." " No!" Jedite screamed," I don't take my underwear off for anyone. I've been wearing the same pair for the last three months. Please Mal, I don't want you to see my penis!" Malachite gave up trying to take off Jed's underwear and just washed his hair. When that was done Malachite announced to the three high youmas that since it was a nice day, they should go for a car drive. They all went to the garage and got their vehicle. It had four seats on it. Malachite had built it himself. The four high youmas rushed to get on the vehicle. " Can I drive?" Jedite asked. He sat in the drivers seat. " Sorry Jed," Malachite replied," You're too young to drive. Now you all know the order in which we sit. Now get on the bike." The youmas got in their proper seats on the bicycle. Yes, their vehicle was a long ridiculous red bicycle built for four. They were assigned seats, and were in order of strength and importance. Malachite was always the driver, Nephlyte sat behind him, Zoicite behind Nephlyte and finally Jedite at the end. Malachite thought that it was important to be strict to these youmas, and not let them sit anywhere they wanted. He wanted them to realized that the youma in front of each of them was more important to the Negaverse. That way he thought they would gain discipline or something. But that was never the case, most of the time they just fought and poked each other in the back. Once they were settled on the bike, Malachite ordered them to pedal and he drove them out of the Negaverse and down to Earth. ( Don't ask how it happened, it just did). ......................................................................... When they arrived on Earth they found themselves in Juuban, Tokyo.( What else is new? They never go anywhere else on Earth), they found themselves riding on a busy street. Horns beeped at them. " Get that bike off the street!," Someone yelled from their car window," Or hurry up!" " Fuck you!" Nephlyte yelled back. " Nephlyte," said Malachite," That was very youma." " Thank you" was Nephlyte's reply. Malachite then steered the bike off the main road and onto the sidewalk. The high youma ordered the other three to pedal faster. " Can we go get ice-cream?" Jedite asked from the back of the bike. " Jed, you know better than to talk to me while I'm driving. We could have an accident. But since you three have been like true high youmas lately, I guess we can stop for a treat." Malachite looked in his review mirror to make sure his " kids" were behaving. " Let's go to Bob Flo's Ice Cream Parlor," spoke up Nephlyte," I want to see if Birty is free for tonight." ( Note: Bob Flo's Ice Cream Parlor is the ice cream place Birty tried to fill with Dark Power in episode# 57). Malachite stopped the bike suddenly. He turned around in his seat to face Nephlyte. A angry expression was forming on his face. " You know you can't date until you're the Queen's highest youma! I never want you to talk about woman or that little girl, Molly ever again!" Malachite grabbed Nephlyte's uniform collar and shook him, until Nephlyte begged for mercy. ............................................................................ Once back on the road they soon reached Bob Flo's. " Baby cones only," Malachite told them," I don't have that much money. And no flirting with the girls, Nephlyte." Jedite ordered a baby Chocolate, Zoicite got a baby Moon Mist, and when Malachite wasn't looking Nephlyte ordered a double Heavenly Hash. Malachite quickly noticed Nephlyte & his big cone and realized he had no money for an ice cream of his own. His feelings were very hurt, but he tried to cover it up by acting youma. He pulled Nephlyte away from Birty, who was wearing a short blue shirt and a tight, short blue skirt. Nephlyte had been inspecting the outfit. Meanwhile Zoi took a big bite out of Jed's ice cream without asking. Jedite began to cry of course. " Everyone back on the bike or we're going back to the Negaverse right now!" Malachite threatened them. ............................................................................ The three high youmas walked back to the bike. " Don't get any ice cream on the seats," Mal told them," I don't know how I would get it cleaned." " I'm hot" wined Nephlyte. " You can roll a window down" Mal replied. ' What the fuck is he talking about, Nephlyte thought to himself, This is a bicycle, not a car!' " You like Heavenly Hash," Zoicite laughed at Nephlyte," What are you, gay?" " No," replied Nephlyte," You're the gay one." This comment made Zoicite furious. She threw her flower pedals, with a loud 'Zoi' in Nephlyte's face. This had no effect. " You're so weak," laughed Nephlyte. " I'm not the weak one," Zoicite shouted back," I out smarted the Sailor Scouts way more times than you have, and I almost killed Tuxedo Mask once. So there!" " Then explain why you are sitting near the back of the bike." Nephlyte replied. Malachite had been listening to the two high youma rivals fighting and it started to give him a terrible headache. " Shut up! Don't make me stop this bicycle and come back there." he yelled at them. Zoicite and Nephlyte went quiet and went back to eating their ice creams. Suddenly there was a scream from Zoicite. " Jedite dropped his ice cream on my back! I'm going to kill you, you little bastard!" Zoicite punched Jedite in the face and got a ice crystal ready, but Nephlyte turned around and took the crystal from Zoicite. " You little bitch," he said," You know better than to pick on a poor little baby youma." " I'm not a baby!" Jedite cried," I'm over a thousand years old. Why does everyone treat me like a baby!" " Because you act like one!" Zoicite shouted in his face. Malachite stopped the bike and got off. He went to the very back. " Jedite, get off the bike." he ordered Jedite. Jedite obeyed. " Please don't..." Jedite begged. " I have to." Malachite pulled down Jed's pants and spanked Jed's ass 'till it was a dark pink. Jedite cried. " Ha ha ha," Zoicite did her annoying laugh," Jed's got a pink ass!" " You're next." Malachite told her. Jedite sat back on the bike, and Zoicite was ordered to stand. " Please Mal," Zoicite begged," Why not spank me tonight in bed. It might be fun then. Please don't spank hard!" She could see Malachite wouldn't let her get out of this. She pulled down her pants. Malachite cracked her ass harder than Jed's. He made sure not to give into his lover's soft skin and pretty ass. Zoi's ass turned out red as a lobster by the time Malachite was done. Before Nephlyte could step off the bike, he spotted Molly across the street. She saw him and headed towards the bike. " O.K. it's your turn," Malachite told Nephlyte. " Oh, no. Not now! Please can we save it for home." Nephlyte pleaded. Molly was getting closer. " No," Malachite said," I have to spank you now or I might forget." " I could remind you." Malachite grabbed Nephlyte's pants and underwear and pulled them down. He got the ass beating of his life. Molly was watching near by and hollered out in her annoying Brooklyn accent. " Neph, what's happening? Why is that man spanking that beautiful ass of yours. You better not be gay!" " High Youmas, get on the bike!" Malachite & Nephlyte got back on the bike and started to pedal away from Molly. " Molly," Nephlyte turned and shouted to her," This is Malachite, that weird high youma I was telling you about. I'll explain everything to you tonight on the phone." " Can I get a ride to Serena's house on that thing of yours? Can you stop for a minute?" Molly asked. " You mean " The High Youma Bike" I'll have to ask Mal. But we can't stop, Mal won't put on the breaks!" Nephlyte tapped Malachite on the shoulder. " Can Molly catch a ride with us?" Nephlyte asked the white haired youma in front of him. " Defiantly not!" Malachite replied," For one thing there's no where for her to sit." " She can sit on my lap or we can kick Jed off," Nephlyte interrupted. " There's no extra seat belts," Malachite continued," And besides this is a high youma bike. It's for the four high youma only!" He picked up speed and the bike speed away from Molly. Neph knew better than to talk back to Malachite, but under his breathe he mumbled" No extra seat belts. Malachite acts like this bicycle is a car!" The bike ride went more peaceful down the street until they reached the Crown Game Center. Andrew had just stepped outside to have a cigarette, when he saw the stupid bike approaching him. " What the fuck?" Zoi decided at the moment that she didn't want the rest of her ice cream. She threw it in Andrew's face as they drove by. Andrew got pissed and ran after the bike. " Faster guys he's gaining on us!" Jed shouted. They pedaled faster, but Andrew was too fast for them. He grabbed the back of the bike and held it still. " You thought you could escape from me, did you?," Andrew said," I am the beautiful sailor suited soldier, Sailor Motoki. I fight for love and justice. On behalf of the Game Center I will punish you!" It was obvious he had been watching too much Sailor Moon. Just then Jed let the loudest, smelliest fart there ever was. Andrew let go the bike, and they speed away. They decided it would be safer to take a dirt road, where there wasn't many people. ............................................................................. Once on the dirt road everything was going fine. " Thanks for that fart, Jed," complimented Mal," That was a very youma thing to do." He smiled and looked back at the blond haired youma in his mirror. Mal had suddenly changed from being a strict high youma to a loving mother. " Hey, wait a minute!" exclaimed Zoi," I was the one who threw the ice cream in his face. Aren't I more youma?" " I'll explain it to you when we get home, Zoicite." Malachite replied," Where do you little guys want to go next?" " The Three Lights concert!" answered Zoicite. " The Playground!'' replied Jedite. " An Adult Store!" exclaimed Nephlyte," I want to buy a new Sailor V doll. Zoi burrowed my last one and now it smells like fish!" A fight was just about to began between the two high youma rivals, but Malachite quickly slammed on the breaks. Up ahead was a large sign saying " Artemis Crossing". Under the printing was a drawn picture of Artemis & Luna having sex. Underneath the sign was Artemis, he was waiting to cross the road. Across the road White Pussy was waiting for him. She was a white Persian cat, Artemis had been having an affair with for months. Nobody knew, except Darien, who was also having an affair with White Pussy ( Note: I'm not really trying to be perverted. Pussy can mean cat you know!). Every Friday night Darien, Artemis & White Pussy would have a " Party". Not even Serena, who had made the sign under Artemis's request, didn't know what was going on. " What do we got here," Mal got off the bike and tried to pick up Artemis, but Artemis used his " Artemis Cat Claws Dig!" attack and dug up Mal's face. Nephlyte called his stars for power and shot some negative power at Artemis. Artemis missed the attack and hid behind a bush and called the Scouts on his communicator.( Yeah Artemis has a communicator, have a problem with that!?) The four high youma were still looking for Artemis when the Sailor Scouts appeared. " Stop where you are! I will punish you on behalf of all nerds. I am the smart nerd Sailor Mercury!" " I don't put up with jerks who try to ruin a innocent cat's fun. I am the aggressive fighter for love Sailor Mars!" " I love to fight, and I can't wait to beat the bunch of you. Well except Nephlyte, he's a major hunk! The only part of him I would touch is his dick. Anyway I am the tough warrior Sailor Jupiter!" " I'm the most beautiful Senshi, but I will still whip your ass. I am the soldier for love & beauty, Sailor V!" " Excuse me," spoke up Artemis," You are Sailor Venus. Sailor Moon runs the show now. You are just a ordinary Scout. Not Sailor V. And another thing you are a SCOUT not a Senshi! Use the DiC names, even though they suck!" " Fuck off, Artemis!" Venus yelled at the white cat. " Hey, guys," spoke up Sailor Uranus," We ain't done our speeches yet. Anyway you creatures better beware because the lesbian Senshi, ( She hates the words: Scouts, DiC & Artemis) are here! I am Sailor Uranus!" " And I am the elegant Sailor Neptune!" " I will destroy you, if I don't fuck you first! I am the perverted, ugly, gay helper of the Scouts. I will defeat you on behalf of DiC ( TM likes DiC. He's retarded!). I am Tuxedo Mask!" " But I'm the one you should really fear," said the Senshi with long blonde odango hair," I will right wrongs and conquer over evil. On behalf of the Moon I'll punish you! I am Sailor Moon!" " Hey where did they go?" asked Jupiter. " I guess we spend to much time with those introduction speeches again." Replied Mars. " Fuck," shouted Uranus," That's it. Come on, Michiru. We can work without these pests. Too bad Sailor Moon I was just beginning to gain some respect for you. Now I hate you more than ever!" " But it wasn't my fault. Really." Moon began her crying and wailing until Mars kicked her in the ass. " Shut up, Meatball Head!" " Yeah," exclaimed Tuxedo Mask," Shut up Odango Atama! Or I'll become gay again" ( Read my " Tuxedo Hentai" series for more info:) ........................................................................... Back on the road, Malachite pulled into a car wash. " Why are we here?" asked Zoicite. " I saw some ice cream on the bike, and I want it cleaned off. Since it was Jed's ice cream he will ride in the car wash." Malachite got off the bike, along with Nephlyte & Zoicite. " Please, Mom. I mean Mal," begged Jedite," I hate the car wash. This isn't even a car." " Don't ever talk about my automobile like that ever again, Jedite!" Malachite slapped Jed's face and pushed the bike in line. While the bike was being washed, the youmas could hear Jed's screams," I've got soap in my eyes!" ........................................................................... Back in the Negaverse the four high youma were relaxing after their tiring day. " Let's watch Ranma 1/2" said Zoicite. " No way!" replied Nephlyte," Ranma is such a transsexual. Kind of like you Zoi." " Does anyone want to watch Ants In Your Pants?" Jedite asked. Malachite then entered the room and they all fell silent. He was still wearing his pink apron from making dinner. He went up to Jedite and picked him up. " Time for bed little youma." He said and carried Jedite to his bed room. Once Jedite had on his nightgown ( You heard me. I said Nightgown) Malachite decided to sing him his favorite lullaby. It was called " Jedite The Future Fag". " Jed everything will be O.K. Someday you will be a gay You will be a high youma fag With a guy to clean your dick with a rag You will enjoy cocks And balls the size of rocks Every night you will lick A low youma's dick You will always be a guy Who isn't straight or bi Your position will always be low And your penis won't ever grow But you will always be my boy I love you more than my Zoi When you were born, I was the first to see your dick I was the one who looks after you when you are sick I taught you the youma ways And the way to attract gays When you were a kid we always had fun I love the feel of your smooth buns I'm sorry when I get mad But it's because of the lack of sex I had I love you, Jed, from the bottom of my heart Even though you just let a smelly fart Good Night Jedite, my little youma. ........................................................................... Back downstairs Nephlyte & Zoicite were fighting over what to watch. " I wanna see Ranma!" Zoicite shouted. " I want porno!" Nephlyte shouted back. " Stop it you two," said Malachite," Or I'll sent you both to bed." " Why are you always babying us, Malachite?" asked Nephlyte," We are all grown men now. Leave us alone." " Excuse me, Neph," said an angry Zoi," I'm not a man. You know I'm really a woman. I'm telling DiC that you aren't keeping the silence." " Go to hell!" Nephlyte shouted back. Malachite grabbed the two and gave them both spankings. " Get to bed!" The two scared youmas obeyed and ran to their rooms. When the house had become quiet, Malachite popped in a video tape and watched the Sailor Moon episode he had taped. ............................................................................. Meanwhile in another part of the Negaverse Queen Baryl had just finished making a bike of her own. " Finally," she said to herself," Those generals aren't the only ones with a bike. Behold the Queen Baryl & Queen Metalia Bike!" Her bike was only a two seater, unlike the four seater youma bike. " Come on, Metalia," said Baryl," We're going for a ride." She got a glass jar and put Queen Metalia in it. " This better be safe Baryl," warned Metalia," Or you will be punished dearly." Baryl taped the jar to the back seat and then hopped in the front. The bike started up and Baryl put the bike in high speed. She speed the bike around in front of the low youma who never leave her throne room. She didn't hear the jar fall off and break on the floor. " Get back here, Baryl, and scope me back up!" Metalia yelled at Baryl. But the Queen didn't hear her. She was having too much fun. ............................................................................. I hope you enjoyed my fanfic. I would like to thank Motoki once again for the idea of the ice cream and the car wash. In case you are wondering where I got the idea for such a story: One day this summer I was watching some bikers from my front porch. The bikers reminded me of the four high youmas. Don't ask why. Well bye for now and keep reading Miss ParaPara's fanfics. I have a lot of different types of stories about SM: funny, serious, hentai, etc. So read them all! Bye for now! Please E-mail with any comments, suggestions, insults, or a drawing of the four high ones on their retarded bike. Don't forget to read my sequel " A Bicycle built For 4 Part 2- Where's The Bike?" Bye for now! -Miss ParaPara For more of my fics go to Motoki's SM Page at