A Pointless Top Nine By: Miss ParaPara This is my first attempt at anything that is 100% Dic although it contains a couple spoilers. I HATE Dic, but I used Dic names this time so that Dic fans could understand what's going on. Warning: some parts of this may seem a little hentai. You've been warned. ....................................................................... Top nine reasons why Sailor Moon is better than Felix the Cat: 9. Sailor Moon has gay characters. 8. Luna & Artemis don't act retarded like Felix. 7. Most of the characters on SM have partners. Felix only has his paws for pleasure. 6. Amy is way smarter than Point Dexter. 5. The villains on Felix aren't as cute as Neflite. 4. The Sailor Scouts have cool powers. Felix only has a stupid bag. 3. Sailor Moon has perverts ( example: Raye's grandfather ) 2. Sailor Moon has cooler music. 1. Animes are way cooler than American cartoons. Top nine things Serena keeps in her room: 9. A nude poster of Neflite over her bed. 8. A big bag of Lays potato chips ( Dill Pickle) 7. Muffins. 6. A picture of Darien & Rini ( both nude) 5. Sailor V comics. 4. Three Lights cds. 3. A collection of hentai videos. 2. A inflatable toy that looks like Haruka. 1. Her homework ( It never leaves her floor ) Top nine things Amy keeps in her room: 9. Her computer. 8. Books ( mostly learning books & school books) 7. A nude poster of Captain Picard( Ew gross!). 6. Blue hair dye. 5. Post its. 4. Luna on Friday nights. 3. Her collection of " Hanson" CDs. 2. Barqie from the Barq's root beer commercial. 1. Drugs. Top nine things Raye keeps in her room: 9. A lock on her door to keep her perverted grandfather out. 8. Her collection of " The Three lights" CDs. 7. Star Trek: TNG books. 6. Serena's Moon Wand ( She stole it) 5. A nude poster of Darien. 4. Her fire. 3. The Taco Bell dog ( She stole that too). 2. A inflatable doll that looks like Professor Tomoe. 1. Darien. Top nine things Mina keeps in her room: 9. Her original Sailor V costume. 8. Sailor Moon CDs 7. Artemis's litter box ( It Stinks!) 6. Porno videos ( which she stars in) 5. Malachite, when Zoicite's not around. 4. Raye's crows ( She kidnapped them) 3. The Doom Tree ( She kidnapped that too.) 2. Balls ( I mean volleyballs, not guy's balls!) 1. Her video collection of "Got Milk?" commercials. Top nine things Lita keeps in her room: 9. The remains of people she beat up. 8. A small kitchen to do her cooking in. 7. Barbie Dolls. 6. A nude picture of Mina? 5. Issues of " Bisexuals Monthly" magazine. 4. Threat letters to DiC trying to get more English episodes translated. 3. Inflatable toys of the Three Lights. 2. Computer disks full of child pornography. 1. Sperm? Top nine coolest characters & why: 9. Haruka, because she's gay. I AM NOT GAY MYSELF! 8. Michiru, because she's Haruka's partner. 7. Wicked Lady, because she hates Sailor Moon. 6. ParaPara, because I am ParaPara. 5. Raye's grandfather, because he's a perv. 4. Sailor Venus, because she's the original Sailor Scout. She's also very cool. 3. Molly, because of that accent. Who wouldn't like it? 2. Zoicite, because she's pure evil and because of that laugh. 1. Neflite, because he's a playboy. Who wouldn't sleep with him? Top Nine Worst Characters & Why: 9. Jedite, because he's weak and partnerless. 8. Seiya, because he likes Sailor Moon. 7. Melvin, because he's a nerd. 6. Malachite, because he hides his feelings from Zoy. 5. The Moonlight Knight. No reason, I just hate him. 4. Sailor Mercury, because she's weak, ugly and I just plain hate her! 3. Darien/ Tuxedo Mask. I hate that fruit! 2. Rini. I want to kill that stupid pink haired brat! 1. Sailor Moon, because she wines & acts retarded too much. Top nine rejected episode ideas: 9. Sailor Scouts meet the Rugrats. 8. The gangbang at Darien's apartment. 7. Artemis's sex change. 6. Rini becomes a stripper. 5. Neflite's & Molly's "special" night together. 4. Haruka & Michiru expose their secret. 3. Seiya gets a "ride" from Sailor Moon. 2. The world actually gets taken over and the Scouts have no hope left. 1. Serena & Raye's " Sleepover". Top nine changes DiC made to SM: 9. Got rid of gay characters. 8. All songs were changed. 7. Raye's grandfather was more of a pervert in the Japanese version. 6. Zoicite got a sex change. 5. " The Water" had a name. It was Queen Metailla. DiC made it nameless. 4. Cut episodes. 3. Names changed. 2. Cut perverted scenes & drew more water in bath tubs. 1. DiC made the show not as serious as its original version Top nine things Jedite does in his spare time: 9. Reads The Baby-Sitters Club books. 8. Picks his nose & pings it in Zoy's hair when she's not looking. 7. Watches Toy Story. 6. Has tea parties with stuffed animals. 5. Collects Steven Segal movies. 4. Talks to Artemis on the phone. 3. Crys about what the other generals say about him. 2. Smells markers, trying to get high. 1. Hires Rini for $200 a night. Top nine things Neflite does in his spare time: 9. Collects nude photos of Molly. 8. Fights with Zoicite. 7. Talks to his stars. 6. Tries to be good. 5. Goes to nudist colonies. 4. Works for Playgirl magazine. 3. Dreams of Queen Baryl. 2. Gets his hair done. 1. Rides Molly. Top nine things Zoicite does in her spare time: 9. Thinks up plans to kill Queen Baryl & rule the Negaverse. 8. Eats hamburgers. 7. Rides Tuxedo Mask, when Mal's not around. 6. Watches Ranma. 5. Gets a breast enlargement. 4. Spies on Neflite & Molly in his bedroom. 3. Rips pedals off roses. 2. Practices yelling her " Zoy!" 1. Writes to DiC, thanking them for the change. Top nine things Malachite does in his spare time: 9. Looks at pictures of David Duchovny and rubs himself. 8. Looks up pictures of the Scouts on the Internet. 7. Eats fish. 6. Dyes his hair. 5. Rides Michiru, when Zoy's not around. 4. Thinks up plans to kill Prince Darien. 3. Bathes Jedite, when Zoy's not around. 2. Eats deodorant? 1. Takes photos of Zoicite and sends them to Playboy & Playgirl. What Luna does in her spare time: 9. Does drugs. 8. Rides Diana, when Artemis IS around. 7. Writes hentai fanfics. 6. Gets high on pot. 5. Buys deodorant for Malachite. 4. Dreams of Neflite in bed. 3. Cleans her litter box ( Serena never would.) 2. Gets high off the smell of Artemis's litter box after it hasn't been changed in a couple weeks. 1. Does Serena's homework. ............................................................................. ............................................................ Like it? I hope. It took a while to write. Please read all my fanfics. Don't think they all are funny( even though most of them are in some way), I also write serious ones too. Send your opinion of this not-really- fanfic to Arigatou, - Miss ParaPara For more of my fics go to Motoki's SM Page at