Red's Reviews: U-Jin's Ranma Diaries 

Divergence Title: U-Jin's Ranma Diaries
Author: W*ING Higley
Status: Complete/Abandoned
Original Rating: 5.1
Revised Rating: 3

     I had heard a few things about this fanfic on the FFML before actually 
reading it, and they were definitely a mixed bag of reactions. Then I read it 
myself one night, having nothing better to do. This review is the result
     To be perfectly frank, I was not overly impressed with this work. The plot 
is sketchy, the detail is almost nonexistent, and as I read it I was sometimes 
confused by who was actually speaking.
     The only thing that kept me from skipping it entirely was the subject 
matter. An adult-oriented non-lemon (though very lime) Ranma fanfic. An actual 
"Ranma Soap Opera." I thought, and still believe even after reading the entirety 
of the existing chapters (7 or so, at this time), that the potential behind this 
fanfic is enormous.
     ADDENDUM: The finale of this story was posted to the FFML not long ago, and 
I have to say that this fanfic has become one of the biggest disappointments 
I've ever read. The story went nowhere and next to nothing interesting happened 
to the characters. The potential that I had seen for this fanfic simply went 
bust.
     Plot: I can't really tell. As near as I can figure, it's a divergence fic, 
the change being an injury to Ranma's leg during one of Genma's more 
capitalistic ideas, after Jusenkyou of course. I may be wrong.
     This is where the plot problems start. First off, it does not seem to be 
heading anywhere. Things just rather happen. I cannot detect any underlying 
sequence of events. The events themselves also do not seem to add up to 
anything. They are just brief snippets of events that, if fleshed out, would be 
very interesting. This story needs a plot infusion, quickly.
     ADDENDUM: There were so many things that this story could have done and 
gotten so much better, but did not. So many possibilities and chances for 
entertaining scenes were simply ignored. Hell, what *did* happen was barely 
explained to the reader.  Moreover, the ending was so...bland. It was not so 
much an ending as it was an "I Quit." It's as if the author just got tired of 
what he was writing and decided to stop mid-story, and tried to make it look 
like an ending.
     Characters and Characterizations: Oh, boy. Where do I start? I hate to do 
it, but I am going to have to go character by character.
     Ranma: Not far off what I would say the baseline character would be, given 
the changes to his life that took place when this story diverged. Not so much 
the "brainless martial-artist" that he was, since he has had to tone that aspect 
of his life back to accommodate his injury. A touch more intellectual, something 
that the college setting would imply. Not bad. I can easily believe this 
characterization.
     Akane: Hmm... This one is semi-believable. Even taking into account the 
assumption that she is hiding much of her disappointment and frustration at her 
boyfriend, a throwaway mini-character, this Akane is much too even-tempered to 
be real. Unless there had also been an alteration to her personal history in the 
past, I just cannot fully believe this Akane.
     Ryouga: No. Just not feasible to me. For instance, I do not see any sign of 
his manic depression or supreme anger at Ranma. Sure, he's portrayed as being a 
little bummed, and gets mad at Ranma while he's taking to Akane, but that's it. 
Those two aspects are part of what make him the old Ryouga Hibiki we all know 
and pity.
     This is not to mention the fact that since Ranma never made it to Nerima, 
Ryouga never would have either. Ryouga's first words in Nerima are "Where is 
Furinkan High School?" That's Ranma's school, and Ryouga was intentionally 
searching for it to find him. With Ranma never going to Furinkan, he would never 
have entered Nerima at all, never met Akane, etc.  Okay, this little bit can be 
forgiven for the sake of necessity.
     Kasumi: No problem here! Nice, has a brain, and still cares deeply for her 
family.
     Nabiki: More than Akane but less than Ryouga, I just can't wrap my brain 
around this version of Nabiki. Very little has been done with this character 
yet, but what I've read so far, I just can't see it. Her activities as shown in 
the canonical story would never have amounted to those that landed her in prison 
in this story. Moreover, whatever her 
reasoning for her scene with Ryouga at the end of one of the later chapters, it 
did not make any sense to me.
     Shampoo & Mousse: This pair I see as being fairly close to baseline. 
Shampoo's reasons for marrying Mousse sounded a little (not much) lame, but it 
was believable. The idea of Shampoo being a divorced teenage mother surprised 
me. Very interesting...
     Soun: Another one that I had no problem believing.
     Genma: Close to being what I would expect from a canonical Genma, with the 
exception being that (in my head, anyway) one would believe he would try to push 
Ranma to keep going after his injury. Again, this is somewhat a minor thing, and 
can be overlooked. His reaction to his wife's views was not what I would 
normally think of.
     Nodoka: THIS surprised me. I was not expecting Nodoka the Bigot. 
Interesting... When I read of her canceling the Tendou arrangement, I was nicely 
impressed. I do not see that often in fanficdom. Also, when I read her comments 
on foreigners... HMM. I want to see more of her in action. This character 
promises to be interesting, indeed.
     ADDENDUM: The entire section regarding Nodoka and Genma (the Nodoka the 
Bigot scene) was snipped from the final release. The author said in the final 
post that there had been complaints about this scene, so he removed it. This was 
one of the most intriguing portions of this fanfic, and to hear that it was 
dropped because of "complaints" made my jaw drop.  Wouldn't that mean that the 
scene should be expanded, explained, and improved rather than censored? What 
were their exact complaints, anyway? This kind of "wuss-out" is very sad indeed.
     Dialogue: The dialogue in this story was.. okay. Nothing special, nothing 
grand. Just adequate. A little more effort to spruce up the dialogue would be a 
major improvement.
     Story Mechanics: Average to bad. The story jumps from one event to another 
without much in between. The story rushes itself so quickly that the chapters 
are minuscule. It read like a sketchy first draft: "And then... And then... And 
then..." Grammar was okay, nothing to write home about.

     Overall: I like the idea behind this fanfic, that of a more grown-up Ranma 
dealing with more grown-up situations. But what's been written so far is so 
sketchy and so thin that it's almost not worth the time is took me to read it.
     The only thing that will keep me reading this fanfic is the hope that the 
author will go back and flesh out the story before progressing. Were that not to 
happen, for whatever reason, I would have to say this fic would be one you could 
safely pass up.
     ADDENDUM: I had said that this fanfic could be safely passed up. With the 
story now complete and no more being written, I feel I have to revise my 
statement to say that this fanfic *SHOULD* be passed up. The sudden and 
inexplicable end to the story prompted the drop in the rating that I had 
previously given it.
     I really hope that another author picks up this story or writes their own 
version.
     There is STILL so much potential here.