There once was a swordsman who lived with his three lovely sisters in a small cottage in the woods. He also moon- lighted as a wood cutter in his spare time for money- but that's another story all together. To differentiate between the three different 'he said' 'she said' between persons, let's eventually give them names. Let's call this brother. . . Zangulus.
This swordsman was no ordinary swordsman, nope. Pass down from generation to generation was the most famous Howling Sword. Well, this little gift made him one of the most legendary swordsperson in history.
On to his three sisters.
The oldest had long black hair that fell down her back like an obsidian waterfall. Her big grey eyes always shined with kindness and sincerity. She was the sensible one in the family, always having a kind word or what not. Her name was Sylphiel.
The middle daughter had firey red hair. She stood out among the other towns people, her temper most notably the cause. If the oldest was quiet and demure, then she was the wild one. Her name was Lina.
The youngest child shared also the dark black hair, only it was cut short, only reaching her chin. An accident involving scissors, rain and too much spare time.
While her sisters portrayed young ladies, she was still able to relish in child like youth and innosense. Her name was Amelia.
This family lived alone in the cottage, having not needed very much in nessecities in the first place. The middle daughter would often complain but she never really minded the place much.
Now that Zangulus' sisters were getting older, it was high time that he find them all a husband. Of course, being the over protective brother and all, not just any hubby would do. So, once ever month, when the moon was full enough to travel all night with, he'd set out in search of a husband for the three sisters. He couldn't very well marry them off to one of the local boys in the nearest town now, could he? They were all slugs! Litterally. Slugs. And fish men. . . but that's another story too. What story? I dunno de gozaru.
Sounds easy enough, ne?
WRONG!
Being the over caring, considerate, (yaddy yaddy yadda) older brother, he'd issue a challange in each and every town he came upon. And so it goes- 'Whoever defeats me a battle of swords shall win the hand of one of my lovely sisters!' Hark and what not. Fore sooth and the lot.
As soon as the middle of the month came, he hightailed it away from the cottage in search of a husband for the his oldest sister.
This search took him to a quaint little town which specialized in clowning. Or something like that. Zangulus had tuned out the old man's voice as soon as he saw a cloaked man with a red jewel imbedded in the middle of his forehead approach him.
"You there, have you come to challange me for my eldest sister's hand?" Zangulus asked. The man in the cloak nodded drawing out his sword rather clumsily. Zangulus sweatdropped but shrugged, figuring everyone deserved a chance.
"First one down to get the other down wins."
With a loud battle cry, he charged. . . and knocked the poor guy down with one swiped of his sword. Bigger sweatdrop. He turned to leave.
"Wait," the cloaked man said, standing back up again. Zangulus smirked and got back into a battle stance. With another loud yell, he let loose another howling shock wave. Again the cloaked man was knocked down. Again Zangulus sweat dropped. Again he turned to leave.
"Wait," the cloaked man said, standing back up again. Zangulus blinked. He got back into a battle stance and with a shaky yell, he let loose once more a shock wave. *Insert out come here* Zangulus waited. . . And waited. . . And just to be sure, he waited some more.
When he was satisfied that his opponent wasn't gonna get up again, he turned around. Re-sheathed his sword with a metalic twang. And began to start home.
Then. . .
From behind. . .
Yatta! You guessed it.
"Wait," the cloaked man said, standing back up again. . .
This continued on for quiet some time.
The cows came home. . .
Waldo was found. . .
Someone learned out the secret of getting the caramel inside a Cadbury bar. . .
. . .then forgot it. . .
Hell had yet to freeze over but it was starting to get a bit chilly. . .
Himura Kenshin finally called Kaoru her name without the honorific 'dono' part. . .
A point was made. . .
Finally, Zangulus collapsed from exhaustion. The cloaked man walked up to him, not even breathing hard after getting such a beating to his person. He carefully knelt down next to the prone owner of the Howling Sword.
"Yatta, I win."
Zangulus blinked and looked up.
"How the hell did you do that?" Zangulus wheezed, throat raw from all those battle cries.
"Every time I die, I clone myself," he explained casually.
Zangulus' eyes bugged out.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!" he yelled, SD-ing.
"You never asked," he replied simply.
Zangulus stared at him for a moment and shrugged. "Fair enough."
So the next day, he and Vrumagin (for that was the winner's name) went back back to the cottage and married off Sylphiel.
And the fishmen rejoice.
It was one year later. Not a very special day in particular 'cept that one of the fishmen from the village glomped onto the middle sister, Lina, and gave her a big wet kiss. She had fried the leacher for dinner and booted her 'nii-chan' out of house, yelling for him to hurry up and get her out of there.
Unfortunately, with the infamous Howling sword in Zangulus' possession, he could not be beaten by not just any idiot with a piece of steal tied to a stick. Well, not for a while anyway. And not just with an ordinary piece of steel on a stick either.
So, he went off searching for a husband for dear Lina-chan. Upon walking through some dense foliage, he happened upon a dense swordsman. This blond haired fellow was busy conversing with the local wild life oh, so blissfully unaware that destiny would soon come up behind him and give him a kick in the rear.
However, destiny was backed up in trafic so Zangulus had to do it for him.
"Are you a swordsman?" he asked. Gourry- for that was his name and not Luke Skywalker- looked up a bit dazed at him.
"I think so," he answered.
"How would you like to fight me for my sister's hand in marriage?" he asked.
Gourry shrugged. "'kay."
So they stood back to back facing each other, drew their swords and shot- wait! Wrong story ^_^; back track.
So Zangulus unsheathed his Howling sword and Gourry unsheathed his- sword handle. A abnormally big sweat drop crushed Zangulus.
"You do know that your sword has no blade," he pointed out.
Gourry just nodded cheerfully as he got into a battle stance.
*Are city dwellers always like this?* Zangulus wondered. *Perhaps it's something in the water*
He let loose a blast from the Howling sword, wondering how this guy was going to beat him. Gourry didn't appear to be in serious desperation at the moment. So what was he-
"Hikari YO!" Light sprang forth upon command, momentarily blinding Zangulus. Bad for him 'cause Gourry deflected his attack and sent if flying back and nailing him into a tree.
Zangulus got up unsteadily but held out his hand towards him. "You have rightfully earned my sister's hand in marriage."
"Ano. . . Tell me why we were fighting again. . ."
And the fish men rejoiced. . . by glomping onto Lina.
Now there was one. With her two other sisters married already, Amelia was feeling a bit lonely, missing the contant company. She was fourteen, in a few more months, fifteen.
"All my little sisters have grown up and left the nest!" Zangulus blubbered, blowing his nose loudly with a hanky. Amelia sweat dropped and patted him on the back with a hesitant 'there, there'.
Zangulus left one more time to find a husband for his most littlest sister.
He searched high and low, fighting with more determination to find the perfect suiter for his dear sister. After days of whiping most of the local farm-boy's butts in sword play, still, no dice.
He was wandering lost through the woods, completely turned around in such dense foliage. Loud noises, the sound of fighting, caught his attention. Breaking branches, cursing- lots a cursing infact. So much cursing that it would even make Tasuki blush. Ahh, Tasuki-sama. . . er, sumanu.
*Yosh!* he thought, the semi-logical part of his brain deduced. *Where there's cursing and fighting, there must be some sort of swordsman*
Zangulus bounded towards where the noise was coming from, a happy, insane I'm-gonna-get-me-a-husband-for-my-little-sitter- if-it-kills-me face.
He burst through the underbrush, grinning insanely all the way. He slid to a disappointed stop when his eyes fell on the scene before him. The fighting party turned upon the new commer. One was a human dressed in very priestly robes, the other group were less than attractive monsters.
"Aww. It's just some old guy and a bunch of mazokus," Zangulus complained, re-sheathing his sword.
"'Old guy'?" said old guy said.
"'A bunch of mazokus'?" the mazokus repeated. "Do you know who we are?!"
Indeed, Zangulus didn't seem to know. Nor did he seem to care with disappointment hanging above his head. He could just picture Amelia's poor, sweet, innocent face fill with disappointment if he came home without a husband.
"We are the most infamous band of mazokus around this are-"
"Oi," Zangulus called out. "Are you by any chance married?"
"DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S RUDE TO INTER-"
"I was, once in my life. I never did quiet recover when she died," the man answered. "Just for the recored, I'm not even fourty."
"HEY! I'm talking to you!"
"That's too bad. Do you know where I can find some guy that could be possible husband material? Good sword fighter?"
The middle aged man blinked a moment before scratching his chin. He snapped his fingers as a possible option came to mind. He pointed to the east through the forest.
"Just go that way 'til you come across a castle. Inside the castle lives a decent swordsman," he said.
Zangulus' eyes brightened. With a hastily thrown "Domo" and good-bye, he was off through the forest in search of this castle and a possible marriage prospect for his sister.
The man watched him go with a slight sweat drop.
*Well, I never did specify what kinda of person the chimera had to love unconditionally. . .*
"Oi, kids these days!" the mazoku grumbled. "No respect for their elders."
Rezo just smiled. "Shall we get back to our fight?"
"Yosh! This time you're going down!" the leader of the mazokus cried.
They began to once again, arm wrestle.
Zangulus stared up, and up, and up, and *whomp*! Opps, leaned back too far. Well, now from his view lying on his back on the ground, he could see how big the castle was.
*Wow. . . big. . .*
The big wood doors creaked open, causing him to jump to his feet hastily, brushing off his dusty clothes.
"Hello, I- Huh?"
No one was there. Sweatdrop.
Zangulus slowly crept inside, noting the. . . ahem, depressingly dark decore.
"Wow. . ." he muttered, peering closer to to a vase and running a finger against the rim. His finger came back with an inch of dust. "Whoever keeps house here, sure didn't do a good job."
"AHOU!" *WHAM* "ITAI." (respectively)
Zangulus was hit upside the head by some unseen force. He did a full three-sixty but found nothing there.
"What was that?!" Zangulus cried, eyes narrowing into slits. "Perhaps. . . a. . . GHOST?"
Two sweat drops appeared in mid air as the swordsman proceeded to turn SD and freak out.
"GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHOST! GHO-"
He was cut short when he slammed into something with a nasty sounding crack. Zangulus once more found himself on the ground looking up. With his sharp eyes, he could just make person standing there in the dark shadows.
He sprang up once again. The figure slowly walked foreward, the shadows melting off his clothes. A cloak covered his head, hiding his features. *Must be shy* Zangulus concluded. His eyes brightened at the of a sword at the person's side.
"I challange you to a fight!" he cried, pulling out the Howling Sword. "If you, you'll have my sister's hand in marriage. Now- Defend yourself!"
He charged the man who just step-sided him easily.
"Don't I get any say in this?" the man asked, voice low and calm. A flicker of amusement was self-evident in his tone.
"Kyaa!" Zangulus answered, coming at him again. He didn't dare use the Howling Swords' big attack inside. He had more common sense than that. Not much but enough.
"Is she nice?" the lord of the house asked, once again step sidding the attack as if it was in slow motion.
"She's the sweetest of my three sisters!" Zangulus answered, turning around for another attack. The man didn't answer, just nodded his head.
"And is she really old?" he asked, his face still obscured by the shadow the cloak cast over it.
"She'll be fifteen in a few months," Zangulus answered, wondering why he was asking these questions. None of the other suitors-erm if you could call them suitors, had ever asked them anything about his sisters.
"One more question-" the cape-boy said. "Is she pretty?"
". . ."
Zangulus facevaulted, nearly losing his grip on the sword handle.
"She's my sister! How am I suppose to know?! Besides, why should that matter anyway?"
For once during their meeting, Cape-boy seemed a bit ruffled at the answers he gave. He shook his head.
"You're right. It doesn't matter," he said, reaching for his side and pulling out the sword. Zangulus grinned.
*Finally!* he thought.
"And you promise that if I win, she'll come live here with me forever?" Cape-boy said, blocking an attack coming down at his head.
"Right!" Zangulus answered, nearly getting an unexpected haircut.
"And you won't go back on your word?"
"On my honour as a swordsman, I vow not to go back on my word!" Zangulus assured him, raising his sword above his head and bringing it down with all his strength.
"Good. . ."
*ClANG*
The swordsman and the cloaked man stood motionless, locked in the aftermath of their last attack. Everything was quiet, save a lone clock somewhere in the premisis that ticked ever so loudly. The Howling sword rest a top the caped man's head, him kneeling down as if he was being knighted.
A splitting sound rang through the air, as the Howling sword snapped in two. The cloth over the man's head also split down the middle, falling to each side to reveal purple coloured hair. Dark purple eyes. And blue stoned skin.
Zelgadiss smiled, his face twisting into a bitter expression.
"I win. . ."
~Now on to Pretty Lina's quick look at Japanese terms!~
LINA: Ohayo! And if it isn't morning where you are right now- konnichiwa, konbanwa and oyasuminasai
GOURRY: What does that mean?
LINA: *under her breath* an actual, intelligent question. . . *much louder* Good question! Well, that means-
GOURRY: You have some sorta kitten?
LINA: *under her breath* Knew it wouldn't last long. *louder* It means! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night
GOURRY: Sou ka
LINA: I see
GOURRY: You see what?
LINA: What you just said!
GOURRY: You can?!
(Deciding to save herself the headache comming on, she just boots Gourry off stage somewhere.)
LINA: Anyway- here's a list of terms Elf-san decided to use in fanfic to confuse- er, make her fic more interesting. . . Yeah, that's it. . .
de gozaru - basically serves the same purpose to 'desu'
dono - an honourific title; same as 'san' but more old fashioned used a lot in the anime 'Rurouni Kenshin'
yatta - general exclaimation of delight
hikari - light
yo - '!' put at an end of a sentence to as an extra exclaimation
mazoku - evil/demon/monster clan
domo - quick way to say thanks (I don't think it's really polite to use on strangers.)
yosh - something like 'great!'
ahou - softer way of saying 'stupid/idiot' same intentions as 'baka'
itai - ouch
LINA: Well, there you go! Arigato Gozaimasu for reading this far. Till next time- Ja!
Waaa, sugoi!
Comedy to seriousness in less than ten seconds. Yosh! I've know filled the required Comedy and Romance part of this fic, now all's I got to do is Adventure. Waahhh- Gomen ne if you were expecting the more old fashioned type of 'Beauty & the Beast' fairy tale. If you've read my other works, then you'll know I don't tend to follow the rules so much. . .
Sumimasen again for this chapter being. . . weird.
