Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, lived a beautiful ex-dragon priestess named Filia.  She lived so happily with her small pottery shop, and handsome young adopted son named Val.  Nothing ever bothered them, most certainly not one certain violet-eyed Mazoku! and their small life was so peaceful and happy...

...

        Okay, so I lied.  Artistic liscense, ne?

        Filia pushed more of her golden hair away from her face.  Val was running around the kitchen, jumping up and down, screaming for attention.  It was rather obvious she was busy cleaning, since she was covered in dust, dirt, and the strange reallyreally gross stuff that you can find on Onii-chan's bedroom floor.  You wonder what the heck it is and--er, anyways, Val was being very loud.  And annoying.  Frankly, she was ready to kill him....

        But of course, she didn't.  For what must have been the millionth time she picked up the toddler dragon and set him on her lap with a forced smile.

        "Val-chan, Filia-mama is busy at the moment.  Why don't you go into the living room and play with your toys?"

        "NO!  No wanna!  Wanna play with Filia-mama!!!"  Val said, crossing his arms and pouting.  Again, Filia remembered the reason he was still alive during all those temper tantrums he threw.  He was the cutest little boy she'd ever seen. 'Compromise,' she thought.

        "But Val-chan, Filia-mama has to clean the house up for your birthday party, remember?  As soon as I'm finished--"

        "NO!  Wanna play NOW!"  Val glared harder, shoving his face into hers.

        Filia gave up.  "Val, go play.  I'm busy."  She set the boy back on the floor and resumed scrubbing the walls.  You wonder how you get so dirty when your walls LOOK so clean...

        Val set on the floor a moment, steaming.  Filia-mama was supposed to give him ALL of her attention when she wasn't at the shop!  He debated.  What to do... he could throw stuff at her until she gave in... he could run away again... He looked outside.  Naw, it was raining.  Last time he'd done that he'd fallen in a mudpuddle two feet from the doorway and had gotten the scrubbing of his life.  His skin still hurt from that...  He could start to cry...

        The devious little child smiled.  Crying was the one thing that ALWAYS got Filia's attention, probably because he didn't do it that often.  He took a deep breath and thought about how unjust it was that she was ignoring him to push a wet rag over the walls--which didn't even LOOK dirty...

        Of course, remember, folks, it never occurs to children to just do what their guardians tell them.  That would just be too simple.  Even though Val had tons of things to do in the other room, he couldn't give in to her wishes.  You know how it is, of course!  Children must rebel.

        Val took a deep breath.  "Huuuuuhhhh....."

        Normally that would tip Filia off that she was in for a deafening temper tantrum.  Today she merely scrubbed harder and ignored him...  He frowned, taking in an even deeper breath. Now he really had something to scream and cry about...

        Filia's tail popped out and she fell smack into the bucket of dirty water when Val let out his first wail.  During the second wail she tipped the bucket and got her hair soaked in it, not to mention that it was now stuck on her head.  During the third wail she jumped up to run to him and tripped over the broomstick and landed on the second bucket of dirty water from the other wall, which she hadn't dumped yet.  She finally struggled over to Val, holding her ears closed and picked him up.

        "Val!  Val-chan!  Val-chan, what's wrong?" she cried anxiously, hoping the child could hear her over his caterwaulting.  Val stopped rubbing his eyes and looked up at her, the cutest little puppy-dog look on his face.

        "Filia-mama won't play with me!"  And he began wailing again.

        "AGH!"  Filia was ready to cry.  "Honey, I'll play with you now!  Anything!  JUST STOP SCREAMING!!!!!"

        Val stopped for a minute, debating.  Then he smiled, enjoying her attention.  "Don't wanna."  And he screamed again.

        Filia wondered what was worse-going deaf or letting that namagomi who was unfortunately invited to tomorrow's reunion see her house in such a state.  She was almost ready to decide on going deaf when Val's screams became REAL.  She gasped, looking at the genki smiling Mazoku who had just appeared in the kitchen.

        "Hello!"  Xelloss grinned, holding his staff to one side.  He shifted his weight, leaning against his staff.  "You called?"

        "I did NOT!  What on earth would have made you think I'd want a filthy piece of--" she began, stopping when Val began to wail again.  He definetly didn't like his 'Filia-mama' swearing.  Xelloss shook one finger.

        "Tut, tut, Filia-chan, not in front of the children!"  Before she could stop him, he scooped up Val from her lap and held him in the air above him.  "Now, now, why are you crying?"

        Val stared at him, tears forgotten.  He put a chubby finger to his mouth in confusion. "Who are you, Mister?"

        Xelloss lifted his finger, grinning even more.  "Sore wa--" He was interrupted by a chair smacking the back of his head.

        "Just tell him you jerk!" Filia yelled, jumping up and down while steam poured out of her ears in SD.

        "Itai... You may call me Xelloss."  He set Val down.  "Now, let's be fair.  I asked you a question too, and I want you to answer it.  Why are you crying?"

        "Uh, I forget."  He scratched his head, staring at Xelloss.  The Mazoku DID make a pretty interesting figure, smiling and clean amidst the chaos in the messy kitchen.  "How'd you get here, Mr. Xelloss?"  He looked around, trying to find the secret door.  He gave up, scratching his horn in confusion.  "That was pretty cool."

        "Now that--" He paused, opening one eye to look at Filia.  She sighed and waved a hand in dismissal, and he smiled again in relief.  "Sore wa himitsu desu!"

        Val giggled, clapping his hands.  He's a kid, remember.  "Filia-mama, why didn't you invite him over sooner?  He's fun!  Do you wanna play a game, Mr. Xelloss?"

        "Why, certainly.  I can tell that 'Filia-mama'"--he coughed to cover his laughter-- "has plenty of hard work to do.  Go into the living room and decide which game you want to play, and I will be there in one minute.”  He looked up to Filia.  “First, I have to talk to Filia-san."

        "Okay!  Meet ya there!  Thanks, Mr. Xelloss!"  Val dashed off into the other room, leaving a stunned Filia and a--oh boy, who can guess this one--smiling Xelloss.

        "He's cute," he said.  Filia facevaulted.

        "What--what are you doing here?" she said, pulling the bucket off of her head. She was too stunned even to be rude.  "And how did you get him to listen to you like that?"

        "How?" Xelloss opened one eye to glance at her seductively.  "Sore wa--"

        SD Filia waved her chair around over an SD Xelloss who was lying on the floor with swirly eyes.  "Don't pull that on me, Namagomi!"

        Xelloss rubbed his head, opening his violet eyes as he sat down on the chair that had formerly been imbedded in his head.  Those eyes always bothered anyone who had ever looked at them, seeming to take in more than they should have with the elongated pupils.  They fixed on Filia, making her suppress a shudder.  Normally he only opened them when he felt like being evil.  Filia really hoped he wasn't feeling that way.  She couldn‘t go into Ryozoku form here while Val was in the house, considering the house would probably end up a pile of splinters.

        "Namagomi?  NAMAGOMI? And here I was, all set to help you out.  Hmph." He sniffed, blinking.

        "Help?  Ha!  Don't make me laugh.  You never help anyone unless it's for your own ends. Or is it unless your mistress Zelas orders you to?" Filia said bitterly.  She waited for the inevitable comment about how well dirt and dust suited her.  She glared at Xelloss, aware that he wasn’t smiling like he usually did when he made her mad.  Nor was he getting angry, like he usually did when she called him that.  Something was up.  “Now what, Namagomi?  What’s that lack-of-a-smirk for?”

        "Jealous, Filia-san? I appreciate the compliment."  Xelloss smiled again, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head.  Obviously he was still focused on her first comment, ignoring her questions.  He glanced at the filthy house.  "Anyways, whether you like it or not, I believe you need my help, ne?"

        "I don't..." she trailed off, gazing around at the incredibly dirty house.  Sylphiel would probably faint if she saw this,  Gourry might think that some of the strange stringy-wet dust things were food, and Lina COULD mistake the dirt impressions on the walls for monsters and Dragon Slave the house from here to wherever Namagomi called home.  Damn him, he ALWAYS had to be right! She fumed silently.  She wouldn't give him the pleasure he was looking for, though, no way!  Surely she could handle this herself...  She took a deep breath.  Reason could work this out, if insults weren't driving him away.

        "Maybe I need SOMEONE'S help, but I really don't think a Mazoku is what I'm looking for.  Especially one who enjoys killing innocent things so much.  That really doesn't seem like the kind of person I'd want around Val.  You'd be a horrible influence!  And even if I DID trust you, which I don't, why on earth would I let you be here when you're so pathetically loyal to Zelas?  She might suddenly have a change of heart and decide she wants you to kill Val.  I don't--"

        SD Xelloss was snoozing at the table.

        THUNK.  The ever-so-useful bucket was now imbedded in the table.

        "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" SD Filia screeched.  Xelloss blinked.

        "Eh?  You were saying?"

        "DIE--no.  I will not kill you while Val is in the next room.  I will not kill you while Val is in the next room.  I will not--" Filia repeated to herself, loosening her hands from the butcher knife that had mysteriously appeared there.  It clattered to the floor.  She slammed her hands on the table.  "ANYWAYS, Namagomi, I was saying I don't want you around Val!"

        "Ah. I see!"  He stood up to leave, smiling again.  He grabbed his staff and bowed mockingly.  "In that case, I'll be going--"

        THUNK. SD Filia was having a good day for aiming with the cleaning supplies.  "Oh no you don't!  I see where this is going.  You want me to beg for you!!!"

        SD Xelloss fell down on one knee, proffering a rose.  "Dearest Filia, you needn't beg, you may take me whenever you want--"

        "NOT THAT WAY HENTAI!"  THUNK.  Filia sat down next to Xelloss, pulling the bucket off of his head.  "Now give me a straight answer for once in your life.  What do you want?"

        Xelloss debated whether his usual catch phrase was worth the next cleaning implement to be imbedded in his head.  He decided not, seeing as Filia was holding a very vicious-looking broom.  "Filia-san, Zelas didn't send me, and I'm not here to harm Val."

        She snorted.  "You expect me to believe that?"  She raised the broom ominously.

        "Why not?  After all, I WAS invited to this reunion."  Xelloss leaned back, putting his feet on her FRESHLY SCRUBBED TABLE and smiled even more broadly.  "What else would I--"

        SWISH-THACK!  SD Filia again, brandishing a broom.  "Get your feet off of my table!"

        “Itai... is this how you treat all guests?” swirly-eyed Xelloss asked, rubbing the back of his head again.  “You’re so vicious...”  He looked over at the dragon maiden and the mess she was standing in.  “Dearest Filia, you DO look like you could use a hand... especially after the bigger mess you just made...”

        “Xelloss, damnit, answer me! Or I‘ll... I‘ll... ”  Her voice grew very soft, and she closed her eyes, covering them with one hand.  Filia looked so pathetic, covered in dirt and dust and more of those miscellaneous kind of things you find in onii-chan's--OUCH!!!!!!!! (glares at readers).  Her blue eyes were trembling with tears as she opened them to look up at him, and she looked oh-so-adorable.  Could it be she was about to burst into tears from her exhaustion and frusteration?

        “Oiy, Filia... You were supposed to hit me just now...” Xelloss began, feeling more than a little nervous.  Pain he could handle (and enjoyed).  Insults he could handle (but did not enjoy).  But he didn’t think he could handle it if the Ryozuku burst into tears...

        Filia let out a shaky sigh. "Or I'll..."  She suddenly turned SD, waving the broom.

        “OR I’LL INVITE LINA OVER AND TELL HER YOU ATE ALL THE FOOD I MADE FOR HER!!!!”

        Xelloss pulled himself up from his landing spot on the floor.  He shook his head, dizzy.

        "MR. XELLOSS!!!  ARE YOU GONNA COME PLAY WITH ME OR NOT???"

        "Er... gomen, Filia-san," Xelloss said as he pulled his hands off of his ears.  Filia pulled the pillows out of hers.  "But I think Val-kun is waiting for me, ne?  We'll talk later."  He winked at her as he disappeared.

        “Damnit...”  Filia stomped her foot, trying to follow, which only meant that it was now stuck in the bucket which had journeyed from the floor to her head to Xelloss’s.  The dragon maiden got into quite some interesting positions as she struggled to pull it off...

        Xelloss re-materialized in front of Val in the living room, then fell over in amazement.  The toddler had pulled the entire room completely apart, and now he sat in the tiniest bit of clear space holding out a tiny pack of cards with an innocent smile.  Xelloss blinked as he entirely appeared.  “So, Val-kun, what do you want to--er--”

        SD Val was sitting, hands clasped together, gazing up at Xelloss adoringly.  The Mazoku sweatdropped.  “CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT????”

        “Why, cer--er, not now, okay?” he changed, thinking of Filia’s giant mace.  If he taught Val how to translocate, Filia was REALLY going to kill him.  He looked at Val's cards for an escape. “Let’s just play a game.  Hmm?  Cards?" He held up a finger happily.  "So, do you want to play poker?”

        “Po-ker?”  Val scratched his head.  “Whazzat?  Isn't that the game Filia-mama told me was EVIL? The one that only MAZOKU with dirty, icky minds and no taste play?”

        Facevault.

        “Er... how about Go Fish?” Xelloss said, picking himself up off the floor.  He had another image of Filia’s mace in his head.  It wasn’t that poker was a BAD game,  but considering Filia's first game had been strip poker (when she and the rest of the group had been completely smashed), she probably would kill Xelloss now, ask questions later.

        “Okay.  I'll deal!”  Val settled down happily and dealt five cards to himself and nine to Xelloss.  The Mazoku sweatdropped.  "I can't count yet," Val said with a cute smile.  Facevault.

        Xelloss sat up.  "Uhm... got any eights?"

        Filia stumbled over the broom handle as she tried to sit down. She cursed it, wishing she knew a spell to send it to another dimension.  She'd have to ask Lina the next time she saw her.  It was impossible to clean when she was this worried.  She set her magic mirror down on the table, thinking of Sylphiel.  The gentle priestess had given it to her so she could watch over Val without being obvious.  She smiled.  It was definetly a more useful gift than some she'd received, such as Lina and Gourry's promise to never eat Val's food and Amelia's babysitting offer...

        She closed her eyes and whispered the words over the surface.  "Source of all power, ripple this surface of solid liquid.  Show me the one I wish most to see."

        The mirror's surface trembled, then refocused on a big brown blodge.  Filia frowned, wondering if she'd made a mistake and getting ready to repeat the spell, when it moved up to Xelloss's smiling face.  He made the Victory sign and then put his fingers in his nostrils and stuck out his tongue.

        Filia set down the chair, remembering that she would break the mirror and Xelloss would merely laugh harder.  Plus, without her spying tool, she couldn't clean and check up on Val. She stuck her own tongue out, knowing the Mazoku must have been playing with her mirror, and focused on Val.

        The little boy seemed to be all right.  He was cheerfully playing cards with Xelloss, though Filia couldn't tell what game from her standpoint.  Must have been Go Fish, he didn't know that many others.  She set down the mirror and sighed with relief.

        It was only when Filia had gotten down on her hands and knees to scrub the floor when she realised that it didn't really matter how many games Val knew.  Xelloss was definetly talkative.  A particular game called "Strip Poker" stuck out in her mind...

        The wall now held a Filia-shaped hole as the dragon maiden rushed to her charge.

        Xelloss took a long pull on his cigar in the already smoke filled hall.  He raised his snake-eyes to his opponents's, analyzing his expression.  He leaned back, studying his cards as he discarded one more.  "Hit me."  He blew out the smoke.

        Val reached over and smacked him with his own mini-version of Filia's mace.

        "Itai..." Xelloss winced.  Val looked at him concernedly, leaning forward over his cards as he hid the mace again.

        "Why'd you ask me to do that, Mr. Xelloss?  Didn't Filia-mama hit you hard enough?"  He blinked innocently.

        Evil hentai thoughts filled the Mazoku's head, so he shook it very hard. 'You're with kids, Xelloss,' he reminded himself.  The illusional cigar and smoke disappeared.  "Geez, that proves Filia has been raising you."  He winced, rubbing his head.  "You hit almost as hard as her."

        "Gee, thanks, Mr. Xelloss, I think."  Val frowned, laying his cards down.  Damnit, Xelloss had lost again, it was another straight, ten, jack, queen, king, ace.  It hurt his Mazoku pride to know that even though he WAS cheating (after he'd lost the fifth time he'd decided he'd better), he was still losing to a little kid!  Not to mention that little kid had just learned poker five minutes ago... He sighed and took another bauble off his cloak.  Val was winning everything he had on him...

        Val wrinkled his forehead as he shuffled the cards.  He opened his mouth to speak, then paused, biting his finger.  He looked up.  "Hey, Mr. Xelloss, can you tell me something?"

        "Sure.  Hit me."

        SMACK.

        "I MEANT WITH THE QUESTION!!!!"  SD Xelloss's face was very frightening.

        "Stop it, Mr. Xelloss!  You're scaring me!" Chibi Val cried, holding his hands in front of him and dropping his mace.

        "Oh.  Sorry.  Anyways...?"  Xelloss sat back down, smiling extra hard.  'Can'tbescarycan't bescary...'

        "Why does Filia-mama hate you?"  Val dealt out another hand of cards.  He had finally learned to count to five.  He looked up expectantly, and was shocked to see Xelloss's head in his hands.

        "Mr. Xelloss, what's wrong???  Did I say something bad?  Did you lose again?  Did I win your clothes?"  Val fluttered over him worriedly.  Xelloss let out a deep sigh.

        "Oh, Filia, my one true love...  It's such a sad story.  I don't think I could tell it to one as young as you..."

        "Aw, c'mon!" Val urged, having the natural instinct of children to continually pester and ask about what adults don't want to tell them.  Ain't he cute.

        "Well...  You see, once upon a time, I was an evil being, wandering in the underworld's darkness all alone. I was so cruel nothing could touch my heart.  I could not go to the surface, for I would be killed as soon as the Golden Dragons saw me.  So I spent my time hurting others below the surface, believing that only through others' pain I could be released from my own."  He opened his eyes slightly.

        "Wow!  Cool!  I don't get it, but go on!"  Val leaned forward on his knees expectantly.  Xelloss sighed again.

        "Then, one morning, I dared to venture to the surface to find more creatures to torment.  I came across a Golden Dragon's field, and then, I saw her."  He closed his eyes, looking as if he were lost in memory.

        "Saw who?" Val asked, scratching his horn.

        "I saw Filia, the most beautiful creature ever alive, picking wildflowers out in the meadow, and I instantly fell in love.  The darkness which had surrounded my heart was dispersed by her light.  I came to her, confessing my undying devotion--"

        "What's devotion?"  Val asked, question marks popping up over his head.

        "Er, nevermind that, I told her that I wanted to play poker with her forever, and I'd always let her win, okay?"

        "Wow, that's so sweet!  You're really romantic, Mr. Xelloss!  Then what happened?  Did you play poker?"

        "And anyways, Filia-san refused to love a demon."  He lowered his head again.  "Of course, now that I knew love, I could not return to my former ways.  So I cast a spell rendering me a mere mortal, only to find she had been engaged to another who had brainwashed her to hate the mere mention of my name.  Once he died, I sought her out, but this treatment you see now is how she always treats me."  Xelloss shook his head sadly, wiping an imaginary tear.

        Val burst into tears.  "That's so sad, Mr. Xelloss!  Is that really what happened?"

        "Actually, no, but it's a good story, isn't it?"

        THWACK.

        Filia stood over the broom imbedded in Xelloss's head threateningly.  "DON'T GO FILLING VAL'S HEAD UP WITH RUBBISH, UNDERSTAND!!!!!"

        She hid it behind her back, kneeling sweetly over Val.  "Val, dearest, I finished the kitchen.  Are you ready to have lunch now?"

        "Yeah, I guess.  I dealt myself a really bad hand this time anyways.  Mr. Xelloss is staying for lunch too, isn't he?"  Val gazed up at her with little dragon eyes.  Dragon eyes are ten times worse than puppy eyes.  No one can resist.

        Except for Filia, who was pretty sure now they hadn't been playing Go Fish.  Xelloss's smaller personal belongings stacked at Val's feet confirmed that.  "I really think that Nama--er, Mr. Xelloss should be going, Val--"

        "Huuuuuuuuuuhhhh--"

        "--but I'm sure he'd be delighted to stay isn'tthatrightMr.Xelloss?"  Filia said quickly, smiling as she pulled Xelloss off the floor and made him nod.  He looked at her questioningly.  She merely glared at him with a 'don't-you-dare-leave-me-with-a-screaming-kid-or-you'll-get-worse-than-my-mace' look.

        "Of course I'll dine with you, Val-kun... assuming Filia-san hasn't cooked, you know... I'm afraid that cooking isn't her strong point," he teased, grinning with an I-know-you-don't-have-ANY-strong-points look.  "Nor is sewing, or make-up applying, or temper control--"

        "NAMA--"

        "Filia-mama!  Don't hit him!!!"  Val's eyes filled with tears.  "He might leave!!!"

        "And the problem with that--Okay, Val-chan.  Let's have Mr. Xelloss treat us to lunch at the inn,  hmm?  I wouldn't want my cooking to upset his DELICATE stomach."  Filia hinted, glaring at Xelloss as she dropped her broom.  She wasn't going to lose this battle without some points scored.

        "Of course, though I wonder if I have enough money for that huge stomach of Filia-san's.  She does eat a lot, you know, Val-kun.  She might even eat everything!  Then she'd be fatter than she already is--" Xelloss put his chin on his hand as he debated.

        "WHO'S FAT???"

        THWISH-THACK!

        "WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

        "AGH!  Sorry!  Sorry, forgive me, Val-chan, it was a reflex.  Please!  DON'T CRY!!!"  Filia said frantically, grabbing him up and patting him on the head.  Val stopped screaming, only because he was now dizzy and his eyes had swirled.  He shook his head to clear it.

        "Now make him feel better!" he demanded suddenly, glaring at her.  "Kiss and make him better!!!"

        "KISS?????????!!!!!!!!?????"  Filia dropped Val in shock.

        SD Xelloss popped up, grinning madly and pointing to various parts of his anatomy.  "Oiy, Filia, you hurt me here, here, here and--"

        THUNK!  "NOT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN YOU HENTAI!"

        "You mean you'd do it if we were alone?" SD Xelloss fluttered his eyes innocently.

        THU-- "NO.  Must-control-temper-" Filia dropped the broom, clenching her fists.

        Val blinked a few times, a finger at his lips as he wondered at what Xelloss had pointed at.  "Mr. Xelloss, why would you want her to kiss you there--"

        "Forget you heard that, Val!  You didn't see anything!!!"  Filia cried, whipping out a piece of black cloth and blindfolding him.  "I think it's really time for Mr. Namagom--er, Mr. Xelloss to be going!  UNLESS HE LEARNS HOW TO WATCH HIS MOUTH!"

        Xelloss shook his head in dismissal.  "Tut, tut, Filia-chan, Val-kun should learn the facts of life sooner or later!  You wouldn't want him to grow up thinking that babies--"

        THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK!!!

        "HE'S BARELY A TODDLER!!!" SD Filia screamed, her foot on a squished SD Xelloss's head.  "I think that can wait!"

        "Itaaiiiii...."

        Tears began to drip from Val's eyes as he pulled off his blindfold.  "Filia-mama!  Why did you do that again?  Now you have to kiss him even more to make him better!"

        Filia's eyes filled with tears as she fell to her knees in front of the child, clasping her hands.  "Val-chan, PLEASE, I'll do anything, but not that--"

        "NO!  YOU HAVE TO KISS HIM BETTER!!!"  Val took a deep breath and started to scream.

        "Okay!!!"  Filia sobbed, her ears hurting her.  She threw her arms around Xelloss and winced as she smacked her the corner of her lips against his forehead in a movement so fast it would have had to been measured in point milliseconds.  She jumped away from him even faster.  "There, see, Val, all better--"

        "Actually--" a mangled Xelloss managed, holding up a finger.  Val stopped wailing and began to sniffle.

        "Filia-mama, that wasn't a real kiss like you give me when I hurt myself!" he accused, pointing at her in a surprisingly Amelia-like fashion.  "Give Mr. Xelloss a REAL kiss!"

        Her face drooped, and the background faded off.  Filia spun around in a pink mist, eyes closed, hands clasped.  One beam of yellow light shone down on her as the pink turned black.  "Alas, how could fate be so cruel as to force me to place my pure lips on this impure demon's forehead?" she cried, flinging a hand over her forehead.  SD Xelloss popped up.

        "Hey, at least it's not another he--"  *

        Filia whacked him without opening her eyes.  "Dearest gods, what have I done to deserve this?  WHAT HAVE I DONE???"  She wrung her hands.

        "Maybe this is your punishment for hurting people too much--"

        Filia slowly opened her beautiful blue eyes, giving a sigh of dramatic submission.  In the background, a severely mangled SD Xelloss twitched.  "I will accept this sign of your discontentment with me!  Yet alas, truly I hoped I would only give my first chaste kiss to a man deserving of it--"

        "FIRST CHASTE KISS?  How have you been kissing Val 'better'!?!"  SD Xelloss's eyes were quite wide.

        THUNK.  "HE'S NOT A MAN YET, BAKA!"

        "Anou..." Val broke the two out of the fantasy world, tugging on Filia's sleeve.  "Filia-mama, I'm hungry... can we go eat?"

        "You mean I don't have to kiss him anymore???" Filia's eyes shone as she dropped the uncomfortable-looking Xelloss.

        "No!  You still have to!  But hurry up, I wanna eat!"  Val crossed his arms and tapped his foot, pouting.  "Now do it for real!"

        Filia's eyes were even more watery than Lina's had been when she was kissed by the fishman.  She closed her eyes tightly, squinching one open a little to see where the Mazoku was and inched over towards him... I can't do this... I'd rather face Lina's wrath for eating her food...

        *smooch*

        "Let's go, Val-kun," Xelloss said, turning away and taking Val's hand.  Filia was frozen, one leg in the air, one on the ground, her eyes very, very confused.

        "Hey, Mr. Xelloss, wasn't she supposed to kiss you?" Val asked as they left.

        "Don't worry, Val-kun, when it's a mouth kiss, it counts as a kiss from both sides."

        Ah.  Of course.  Apparently she had just been kissed by a Mazoku.  She blinked and passed out, making a Filia-shaped dent in the floor.

        "Is she still coming to lunch with us?" He looked worriedly back at the living room, the inside of which was now visible to the outside world due to the holes in it from Filia's temper.

        "Uh, I don't think so.  She'll probably need a nap, you know, dragon maidens get cranky after all that cleaning.  We'll bring her something back, okay?"

        "Kay.  Can we play poker s'more then, Mr. Xelloss?"  Val gazed up at him with the cute child adoration.

        "Of course."  Xelloss smiled.  This time, it didn't seem quite so fake.

        The floors shone.  The walls sparkled.  Everything in the house was spotless.

        Save one thing--the owner.

        Filia was covered with all the dirt, dust and the kind of stuff you find in onii-chan's--okay, I know--the things that she'd cleaned from her furniture, walls, and trinkets.  Her hair looked brown, and her face was black with soot.  She shook her head in exhaustion.  "I need a bath..."

        "Can I watch?  How much do you charge?"

        She spun around.  Xelloss was standing in the doorway, grinning widely and digging through his pockets for loose change.  Val was nowhere to be seen.

        "Where's Val?" Filia demanded, bracing herself.  Xelloss looked to the side a bit sheepishly.

        "Well, he's sort of, well, doing me a fav--er, I mean, uh, he's just--er..."  The trickster priest was never lost for words.  Filia immediatly assumed the worst.  Well, most people would, you know that cat-that-ate-the-canary smile he always has on his face, ne?

        "I'LL KILL YOU!" Without waiting to let him finish the sentence, she launched herself at him, knocking him straight into the mud puddle.  His eyes widened in surprise as she started to give him the beating of his life...  "How dare you hurt Val!  What did you do to him?  Where is he?  WHERE IS HE???"

        "WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"

        Filia blinked, looking up from strangling Xelloss.  "Val-chan?"

        "Filia-mama!  You hurt him again!!!"  Val dropped the small boquet of wildflowers he'd been carrying in the mud as his eyes filled with tears.  "Now he'll never play poker with me again!!!"

        "Val!  You're all right!!!"  Filia ran and grabbed the little boy, squeezing him tightly.  Val's eyes bulged as he gasped for air.

        "Filia-mama--can't--breathe--"

        "Oh!  Sorry!"  She set Val down gently.  "Val, where were you?"

        "I was just picking you these flowers," Val said, his eyes brimming with tears.  "Mr. Xelloss told me to and said he'd go tell you I was just in the yard.  And you didn't even let him talk!!!!  You just killed him!!!!!"  He pointed at the unmoving Xelloss.

        "He's not dead, Val, he's just--oh shi--"  Filia dropped to the still Mazoku's side, grabbing his wrists and checking for a pulse.  She frantically began to shake him.  "Don't you dare die on me, Namagomi, I swear I'll--"

        "I know!!!" Val jumped up and down.  "If he's dead, then he needs mouth-to-mouth!  Save him, Filia-mama!  Give him mouth to mouth!"

        "Val!  I just cannot do that!  Go get the doctor or someone--"  Filia was beginning to panic.  Surely she, a pure dragon maiden even if now a mother, hadn't killed the stupid Mazoku...

        "WAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!!!!"

        "AGH!"  Filia covered her ears in pain. "All right, I'll do it--"

        She almost began to sob as she lowered her head over the still Mazoku's body.  "Damnit, Xelloss, this is your last chance to wake up and stop pretending before I take your body and throw it in my kiln!"

        He didn't move.  Filia let out a choked sob and pressed her lips against his...

        "Filia-chan, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that's not how you give mouth-to-mouth."

        "DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

        "Filia-mama!  Don't kill him again!!!" Val begged, tugging at her skirts.  Filia dragged herself off of Xelloss, breathing heavily.  He blinked and grinned.

        "Though if you were trying to kiss me, it wasn't that bad!  You could use a little practice, though, I guess you weren't kidding about that 'first chaste kiss' thing..." He trailed off.

        Filia's eyes had narrowed dangerously (TM).

        "Val-chan, I'm sorry you have to see this, but--" She began to twitch, her tail slowly popping out.  Val took a deep breath.

        "Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh!"

        Filia continued transforming. "--but I just can't take this anymore--"

        "HHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

        The first wail brought down the tree standing in the yard.

        The second wail stopped Filia's transformation and slammed her against the wall of the house.

        The third wail was stopped by a Mazoku's hand.

        "Shh, shh, Val, I'm all right.  See?  I'll still play poker with you," Xelloss smiled, opening his arms to show he was, indeed, no longer dead.  Val's eyes filled with tears and he threw himself into them, sobbing.  Xelloss's expression was priceless.

        "I thought--" hiccup, sob, "I thought she'd killed you!  I hate you, Filia-mama, you're so mean!"  Val buried his head in Xelloss's cloak.

        "Val!  You don't..." Filia's voice trailed off.  Without Val, she had nothing.  He couldn't have meant that.  If he left her alone in the world, she'd... she'd...  She suddenly wiped a tear.  This couldn't be happening.  Xelloss could take Val now--Val would go willingly--and die--and there wouldn't be a damned thing she could do about it...  She'd be alone again...

        "No, no, you don't hate her.  You just want her to be nice to me, right, Val?" Xelloss said, smiling as he scooped the boy up and held him in the air.

        "Well, I guess."

        "So she'll just apologise and then we'll all go down to the bathhouse and get cleaned up, ne?"  Val debated, then nodded tearfully.  Xelloss wiped some of the mud off of his face.

        "I'm sorry, Val-chan," Filia whispered.  "And..." She swallowed all of her pride, nearly choking.  "I'm sorry, Xelloss."  She hung her head, waiting for his stupid jokes and insults.

        "No problem.  C'mon, Val, is that better?"  He set the child on his shoulder.  Val nodded, giggling.  "Filia, I assume you're coming too?"

        "Y-yes.  In a minute."  Filia watched the two stroll off towards the bathhouse.  She looked down, clasping her hands over her heart.  Why had Xelloss calmed Val?  He could have hurt her in the worst possible way by taking Val, who would have willingly went with him...  She took a deep breath and followed.  She would have answers.

        Splash!!!

        "Heeheheehee!!!" Val giggled cheerfully as Xelloss continued to splash him, teleporting around quickly.  "Mr. Xelloss, how do you do that?"

        "Sore wa himitsu desu!"  Xelloss popped up behind him and sprayed him with more water.  Val laughed again.

        "Filia-mama!  Why don't you come in now?  The water's really nice and warm!" he begged.  The filthy dragon maiden shook her head from her position on top of the warm rock usually used for drying in the bathhouse... which wasn't really a house, it was outdoors but for the changing rooms... And we know Filia, she was still fully clothed.  But Xelloss and Val weren't, for those of you with disgustingly dirty minds that are filled with the kind of stuff you find on onii-chan's bedroom floor when you're trying to clean--although that's kind of hard when you keep on finding the most INTERESTING Gundam Wing pictures--

        SD FILIA, XELLOSS, AND VAL: GET ON WITH THE FREAKING STORY!!!!

        Gomen.  As we were.

        Filia shook her head.  "No, Val, I can't."  She turned her head back towards the book she was pretending to be reading.  In actuallity, she was watching Val and Xelloss.  So far, nothing that she wouldn't approve of was going on... besides the fact that Val was taking a bath with a Mazoku.  NOT IN A DIRTY WAY YOU FREAKING PERVERTS!!!!!!

        "Why not, Filia-mama?  You're all dirty, and water makes you clean again, right?"  He blinked, splashing some of the water in his hands.  "You always make me take a bath when I'm dirty!!!"

        "Val-chan, that's different..." She sighed and put her head in her hands.  "You see, females simply don't take baths with males."  She gestured in Xelloss's general direction... sweatdropping as she saw he was spurting water from his mouth like a demented fountain.  "Especially crazy ones," she added to herself.

        "Why not?" Val demanded, his stubborn streak starting to show through.  "You always give me my bath!  Isn't that the same?"

        "Actually, Val, no..." she trailed off, seeing Xelloss pretending to be a shark behind Val.  She sighed.  Gods, that Mazoku was on drugs or something...

        "Gotcha!" Xelloss stood up and lifted Val out of the water, dropping him quickly as he remembered they were both not wearing anything.  "Oops.  Sorry, Filia-san!  Did I offend you?"

        "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK, YOU CRAZY PERVERT?" a furiously blushing Filia cried from where she'd buried herself under the rock.  She took a deep breath and let it out.   That was NOT something she had needed to see.

        "Filia-mama!  Come in!" Val pleaded.  "Mr. Xelloss is so much fun!"

        "Val--"

        "Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

        "OKAY! JUST DON'T SCREAM!!!!"  Filia gave in, climbing down from the rock.

        "Yippee!" Val cried, diving down into the water and doing a little victory swim.

        Xelloss merely sat, resting his head against his hand as he leaned against a rock.  Still smiling, he seemed to be genuinely confused.

        She glared at Xelloss.  He gave her a quizzical look.  "What?" he said.

        The rock she threw swirled his eyes and nearly made him fall underwater.  "Turn around, baka!  I'm undressing!"

        "Ah. Aha!  I see."  He turned his back, still grinning his stupid grin.

        Filia knew her face must have been bright red.  She sank into the water, using a rock as a barrier between herself and the Mazoku.  She gritted her teeth, imagining how hard he must be laughing at her right now.

        "Well, Namagomi?  Where's your smart ass comment?" she snapped, unable to take his silence any longer.

        "Oh, I don't have one right now," he said, surprising her.  "I was just thinking you shouldn't let him bully you like that."

        "EH?" Filia nearly facevaulted into the water, catching herself on the rock.  "What do you mean by that?"  Her heart was pounding, because he was critisizing her, she supposed.  She took a deep breath to calm it so she could listen to him.

        "Well," he began, "everytime he wants something from you, he starts to wail.  And you give in.  Not much discipline there, Filia-san.  It would be trouble if he grew up walking all over you like that, just because you don't like to see him unhappy."

        "It's none of your business," she stated flatly, crossing her arms.  "And I'm not a Mazoku, remember?  I don't enjoy other people's pain."  She began to splash water over her golden hair, reverting it from dust-covered to its normal sheen, and trying to forget the truth of his words.

        "No, Filia, you're not."

        She stopped, amazed by the quiet comment.  She turned around, seeing Xelloss's head peeking out at her from over the rock, with a sad, intense look in his violet eyes.  'Wha--what--what--'

        Confusion raced through her mind.  What was he up to?  What was going on?  Why--why was he looking at her like that?

        So she did what any young maiden would do when confronted with such a look of strange, unrequited fascination and mysterious emotions.

        "HENTAIIII!!!!!"

        THUNK!!!!

        "Itaaaaaaiiiii!!!"  Xelloss rubbed his head, the rock leaving a huge bump on top of it.

        Perhaps I forgot to mention she did what any young maiden would do when confronted with such a look when she's busy bathing.

        Steam rose around Filia's head as she pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.  She grabbed a towel from the shore and wrapped it around herself.  "You filthy pervert!  How dare you!"  She hiccuped in anger as she tried to calm down.

        "Filia-san!  I didn't see anything--well, not that you don't HAVE anything--er, I mean, I don't know whether you do or not and I wasn't trying to--"

        THUNK THUNK THUNK.

        Filia raised another rock, her other hand holding the towel against her chest.  "Then what DID you mean?"

        "Well..." Swirly-eyed Xelloss debated.  He opened his mouth to pour the truth in his heart out to her, to tell her every word he'd ever thought and truly meant, none of the lies he usually told everyone--

        "Sore wa himitsu desu!"

        Filia jumped on the rock, raising the boulder from behind her and nearly dropping her towel.  "I'm going to--"

        "Oiy!  You can't blame me for this one!  You're the one who jumped out and tried to flash me!" SD Xelloss cried, hiding his eyes behind his hands.

        Filia gasped and dropped the boulder, diving back into the water.  She pulled her head out, spitting the water.  "Namagomi!!!!!"

        "I'd rather be a Namagomi than a flasher!"

        "DIEEEEEE!!!!!"

        Val swam up, blinking innocently.  "Mama Filia, are you trying to hurt Mr. Xelloss again?"

        Filia dropped the boulder, adjusting her towel.  "Why of course not, Val!  Why on earth would I want to do that?"

        "I dunno.  I'm done, now!  Can I have a cookie when we get home?" he asked.  Filia smiled.

        "Of course.  Now, I'm just going to be a few minutes longer, so can you wait--"

        "I'll take him home!  I don't want to get another boulder imbedded in my head," Xelloss said bitterly, rubbing his head and glaring at Filia.  "Or don't you trust Namagomi with Val?"

        Filia blinked.  He hadn't sounded this evil for quite a while.  She must have really angered him.  "Xelloss... you're not going to..."

        He smiled, closing his violet eyes.  "No, I'm not going to ever try to see you naked again.  That was the nastiest sight I've ever seen!!! Come on, Val!"

        Filia blinked.  One minute he was being... almost nice... the next, he was back to his usual tricks.    She ducked her head under the water, focusing on washing her hair.

        Filia felt much better as she walked into her house, though a bit nervous as to what she would find.  Well, at least that idiot Mazoku was only annoying her, not Val.  If Val was happy, she could be happy too, right?  She smiled, dusting off her light blue dress. She opened the door to the kitchen... and screamed.

        Val and Xelloss looked up from eating cookies, blinking innocently.  (Onii-chan, if you even THINK anything about 'cookies and milk', I swear I will dragon slave you).  Filia smiled sweetly.

        "Gomen, I just had to be prepared for something else, you know?"  She fluttered her eyelashes and sat down next to Val.  "Val, how many cookies did you eat?"

        Val looked slightly green.  He held up a hand...

        ... then another hand ...

        ... then a foot ...

        ... and another foot...  "THAT many."  He leaned back in the chair.  "I don't feel so good..."

        "Xelloss, you stupid--DON'T YOU KNOW NOT TO GIVE KIDS MORE THAN THREE COOKIES BEFORE DINNER?"  Filia paused, blinking.  Xelloss was breathing a little erratically, and he looked even greener than Val.  "Oh my gods, you didn't too..."

        He looked up, smiling lopsidedly.  "They were really good..." he managed, then turned and threw up.  Val decided that if his new hero was throwing up, then that was the way to go, and he literally tossed his cookies.  Filia put her head in her hands.

        "It's not fair..."  She pulled several towels out of a drawer, covering the mess, and scooped up Val in one arm.  The towel cleaned the rest of the mess off of his face, and he smiled vaguely, then began to cry.

        "My stomach hurts!" he whined, snuggling against her.  "Make it go away, Filia-mama..."

        "Uhm, Val, why don't you just lie down for a while and see if it goes away--"

        "NO!  MAKE IT GO AWAY NOW!"  Val burst into a fresh set of tears, though they weren't nearly as hard as his normal ones.  He definetly was in real pain.

        Filia's eyes filled with tears.  "Val-kun... I can't really do that right now..."

        "Why not?" Even the half-concious Xelloss was interested now.  Filia felt as if even the spoons hanging on the walls were staring at her.

        "Er... well... itsthattimeofthemonth."

        STARE.

        "STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" she screeched, whipping the broom out of the corner and nearly dropping Val.  Xelloss put out one hand and caught the boy, setting him on the table, still staring at her, content with driving her insane.

        "Oh, dearest Filia-chan, you wouldn't want to destroy all the hard work you just did, ne?" Xelloss said, one eye opened.  Half of his face was squashed against the table.

        "You just did," Filia snarled, pointing to the mess on the floor.  "For the love of the gods, Xelloss, you're a freaking MAZOKU.  This isn't even your real body!!!! Don't you know how to prevent stomach aches?"

        Val suddenly lunged over, grabbing onto Filia's apron strings and swinging around behind her, his eyes wide.  "MAZOKU?  WHERE?  Mama, I'm scared!!!"  He ducked under her skirts, peering out from beneath the hem.

        "Must be nice to be that short," Xelloss muttered, earning him a smack from the broom.  "Didn't you tell Val-kun about me?"

        "I don't normally discuss namagomi with children, Xelloss," she bit out, scooping Val out from underneath her and setting him on the table.  "It's all right, Val, Mr. Xelloss is a mazoku.  Nothing to be afraid--"

        A dust cloud was settling over the table where Val had previously been.  Filia blinked. "--of."

        A cupboard door opened a crack.  "FILIA-MAMA!!!  Why didn't you tell me?"  He sniffled.  "I even played poker with him!  Now he's gonna eat me!!!"

        "EAT HIM?  FILIA UL COPT, WHY ON EARTH DID YOU TELL HIM I ATE CHILDREN?"  Xelloss yelled, sitting bolt upright then doubling over.  He glared at her viciously, making her take a step back.  "I'll have you know I've never eaten a child in all the thousand years of my existance!!!"

        Filia blinked.  "You haven't?"

        "Of course not!  The only Mazoku to do that was Phibrizzo, and he's dead now!  You shouldn't tell children such frightening stories!  Eh?"  He blinked at the little Val who was now glaring into his face.

        "Mr. Xelloss, you just told Filia-mama a lie!  I won't forgive you!"  The resemblence between he and Amelia at that moment was startling.

        "I didn't lie!  I've never eaten a chi--erk."

        Val's finger was poked on his nose, almost flattening it.  The little boy took a 'justice' pose.  "You lied about your age!  There's no way you're over a thousand years old!  You only look a little older than me!"

        Xelloss twitched.  "A... little... older?"

        A burst of laughter from the corner made them both look up.  Filia was laughing, tears streaming out of her eyes.  "Val-kun," she gasped, "Mr. Xelloss wasn't lying.  He really IS over a thousand years old."

        "Really?"  Val grabbed Xelloss's shirt and poked his head down inside it.  "Where are your wrinkles then?"

        "Er, Val-kun, why don't you ask Filia how old SHE is?" Xelloss said, taking the child out of his shirt.  "I think you'll be surprised--ITAIIII!"

        "For shame!  You never learned any manners, did you, Namagomi?" Filia fumed, holding the broom up for another pass.  "You NEVER ask about a lady's age!"

        "I wasn't asking about a LADY'S age, I was asking about your--"

        SWISH THWACK SWISH THWACK SWISH-TWACK--

        A bruised Xelloss glanced up at Val.  "Hey, aren't you going to defend me?"

        Val blinked.  "But Filia-mama's right.  You never ask about a lady's age."  He turned to Filia. "Filia-mama, I think he's learned his lesson.  Why didn't you just spank him like you do to me when I'm bad?  That broom has to hurt!"

        Filia turned red.  Very RED.  Red BEYOND red.  Xelloss smiled, sitting up.

        "Yes, Filia-chan, why DIDN'T you? I assure you that can be a MUCH more enjoyable experience, though generally I prefer to be the one on--"

        "NAP TIME!!!"  Filia snatched Val and ran out of the room.  Xelloss scratched his head, then smiled.

        "Oh, yes!  You're not supposed to say things like that in front of children!"  He grabbed his staff and translocated to Val's bedroom, remaining invisible.

        Filia tucked Val in, kissing his forehead and smoothing the covers.  "Sweet dreams, Val.  I'll wake you in a little bit."  She smiled gently, touching his cheek.  "You've been a very good boy today."

        "Filia-mama?  Why don't you like Mr. Xelloss?" Val asked sleepily.  Something about a darkened room and warm covers and soft voices is an irresistable sleep-drug... or maybe it's the fact that Filia could still manage sleep spells... who knows?

        Filia blinked, not expecting that question.  "Well, Val, it's because... I... "  She paused, looking around the room, then down at the snoring Val.  "I don't really know," she whispered.  "I should hate him because he's a Mazoku, but even you were one at one point, and I love you..."  She lowered her eyes.  "Maybe I hate him because-because- because he's always doing things like--"

        Xelloss appeared, smiling.  "This?"

        "--that.  How dare you--" she began, standing up.  Xelloss made a placating motion with his hands.

        "Shh, shh, Filia-chan. Can't wake up the little one, ne?"  Filia's tail popped out.  Xelloss sweatdropped majorly, grabbing her arm and guiding her out of the room and down the stairs.  He quickly let go and ducked, covering his head with his staff. "You can beat me up now!"

        Filia blinked, as if she didn't recognise him for a moment, then shook her head.  "No... I don't feel like it."  She sat down, her tail now safely tucked away.

        Xelloss picked himself up from his facevault.  "Er, Filia, are you feeling okay?"

        "Yeah..." She set her chin in her hands, thinking.  Xelloss was startled.  She looked so peaceful... and THAT was very, very unusual...  She sighed.

        "Uhm, does this mean you don't hate me anymore?" he asked, sidling away from her. Maybe normal Filia would come back and smack him for that stupid question.  No way was the REAL Filia just going to sit there and smile and sigh happily...

        "I'm just thinking, Namagomi!" she snapped.  She shook her head.  "I take it back.  Maybe I do.  Maybe I don't.  Maybe you need to explain some things."  She raised her head defiantly.   "And maybe I won't answer anything until you do."

        "Hmm, maybe I don't feel like answering," Xelloss said, smiling evilly and running his hand over his staff.  Oh goddess, ifyoudamnpervertseven...  "Or it could just be a secret..."

        "I challenge you!"  Filia jumped up on the sofa, striking an Amelia-type pose.  "There, how do you answer that, Namagomi?"

        "Ha!  You called the challenge, now I get to choose what it is!"  Xelloss smiled even more insanely.  "I know exactly what it will be.  A game of skill, extreme skill, that only few can win.  Are you sure you're up to it?"

        "Of course I am."  She narrowed her eyes.  "Go on and name it, Xelloss."

        "All right... Filia.  The contest shall be..." He paused dramatically, pointing his staff at her, watching her gulp. He moved one finger to his lips and said...

        "Strip poker!"

        ::facevault::

        "Fine!" she snapped, picking herself up and dusting herself off.  "And whoever wins gets whatever they want out of the other one."

        SD Xelloss jumped up and down, clasping his hands together.  "Filia!  I'm shocked, you'd really--"

        "Dear gods, don't just assume you'll win!" she screeched, jumping up and down in SD.

        "All right.  Deal."

        Filia cursed at her first hand.  Absolutely nothing.  She had to win.  No telling what that freaky Mazoku would do if he won...

        "So, what have you got?" Xelloss asked, laying down his straight.  He grinned.

        "Here."  She shoved the cards down and ripped off her apron.  "Deal."

        "Ah... here you go..."  Xelloss ran his eyes over the cards.  Filia smiled, this time she had three kings and two nines.

        "Beat that, Namagomi."  She tossed her cards down.

        Xelloss laid down his three aces and two queens.  "Ah, it seems I have."

        "Grrr..."  Filia pulled off her earrings.  "I thought you said you never wanted to see me naked again, Namagomi.  And yet you challenge me to strip poker.  Change your mind?"

        Xelloss winked, holding up his finger.  "Sore wa himitsu desu, Filia-chan.  Deal."

        The next cards were better.  Filia smiled.  "Seems you lose this time, Namagomi."

        "Ah, it seems I have, ne?"  He pulled off his cloak.  "I have nothing to be ashamed of."

        "Ha.  Only because you can change your form at will, Namagomi," Filia snarled as he dealt.

        "True, Filia-chan.  Look, I've won again, ne?"  He smiled, grabbing her wrist as she reached for her socks.  "Instead of an article of clothing this time, why don't you just answer a question?  Why did you switch?  You were calling me Namagomi, then calling me Xelloss, now you're back to the Namagomi thing, hmm?  Now why is that?"

        Filia peeled off her socks anyways.  "I don't have an answer, Namagomi.  I don't sit around thinking about what to call you."

        "Tut, tut, temper, temper.  Deal."

        "Ha.  Now I win.  I have a question this time, too.  Why are you here?"

        Xelloss smiled, pulling off his boots.  "Sore wa himitsu desu."

        "I had to answer you, you disgusting cheater!"  Filia cried, her tail sticking straight up.  "Now--"  She stopped as he placed a finger against her lips.

        "Ah-ah-ahh, Filia-chan.  Some questions are saved for only the ultimate winner."  He smiled, removing his hand.  "Now let's see who that person will be."

        The second hand on the clock seemed to echo loudly as the two slowly picked up their next cards.  Filia laid her hand down.  Nothing.

        Xelloss laid his hand down.  "I win."

        "Not entirely, Namagomi.  You don't win until I'm naked."  Filia lifted up her dress, now sitting in just her underwear.  What a mental picture. ::shudders::

        SD FILIA: ::whacking author with mace:: IF you make me get totally naked I will KILL you, you darned pervert!

        SD XELLOSS: But it's such a NICE body, Filia-chan!

        SD FILIA; DIE YOU STUPID--

        Er, back to the story.

        "Well, aren't we getting close, Filia-chan?  One more loss and you're no longer decent."  He smiled, setting his cards down.

        "Ha.  We'll see about that, Namagomi, who wins now?  Me.  Take it off, Mazoku!"  She said triumphantly, glaring at him.  "If what you say is true, there's only ONE more loss for you as well after this."

        "Eh, well, it's all the same, ne?"  Xelloss whipped off his shirt.  Filia blushed.  "What, see something you like?"

        "Don't make me kill you before I have my answers, Namagomi," Filia snarled.  She picked up her next cards, internally screeching.  Absolutely nothing.  NOTHING!!!

        Xelloss laid his hand down, then looked up, grinning.  "I win, Filia-chan."

        Filia swore, a small tear trickling down her cheek.  "Fine.  Lucky you, you get to see me naked again.  And then you can have your perverted way with me, you..."  She trailed off, realising that she'd lost.  There was no telling what that disgusting Mazoku had planned now... She reached to pull her t-shirt off.

        Xelloss grabbed her wrist.

        "No, no, Filia, no need for stripping.  You just have to give me whatever I want now."  Filia looked up, horrified.  A vision of Val seemed to swim past in the dark reflection of her eyes in his.  He narrowed them as he smiled viciously.

        "I didn't say--I didn't mean..."  Her face crumpled, and she tried to snatch her wrist back.  "No!  You can't--I never--I didn't mean--"

        "You only said that because you thought you would win," Xelloss replied evenly.  "And you didn't."  He didn't let go.

        Filia let out a low sob, lowering her head.  "He's upstairs," she whispered.  "Just go."  She turned her head up to glare at him, pulling her wrist away.  "I'll give you half an hour before I come after you.  And if you've so much as harmed one hair on his head, I will kill you."  She dropped her head again, cursing her idiocy.  Why had she made such a stupid wager, vainly thinking it was HER at stake, when it was Val?

        She felt the soft whisper as he stood up, started to walk away.  She let the tears fall.  She was a failure.  She couldn't even protect the one thing that was most important to her.

        A heavy weight dropped upon her.  "Filia, don't assume so much."  Xelloss sat back down, opening his eyes.

        "Eh?  What are you... I mean... thanks..." Filia whispered, unconciously pulling his cloak tighter around her.  "If you don't want Val, then what did Zelas send you here for?"

        Xelloss laughed.  "I'm the one who won, Filia!  You don't get to ask your questions now.  You just have to give me what I want."

        She swallowed, shivering.  "And what do you want, Namagomi?  Was I right the first time?"  She shuddered.  That would be SOOOOO nasty... of course, she doubted the sweet, adorable little fic writer who was scribing this could write something like that--

        <<<SD FILIA: I never said you were adorable!  Or sweet!

        SD XELLOSS:  Need I bring up some of those lemons that have been seen in your prescense?

        Darnit, stop ruining the serious parts, you two! ::chases chibis away:; Anyways.>>>

        "I want to ask you a question."  For once, he looked serious.  Filia shivered, taking a deep breath.

        "Ask," she whispered.  "I'll answer."

        He shifted, dropping one leg down and putting his arm around the other one, then moving again, sighing, then changing position again, then putting--

        SD Filia bashed on SD Xelloss's head with his own staff.  "ARE WE FINISHED??????"

        Xelloss sat down.  "Filia, you know... Val was a Mazoku, and all, even if he once was a dragon, right?" Xelloss began.  Filia's eyes narrowed.

        "So what, he was a monster.  He's an innocent child now, and I won't let you shove his past in his face!"  Filia snapped, protectively.  Xelloss dropped his eyes (not literally, though that might have been quite interesting--yeeouch!)

        He gave a sad smile, looking back up.  "And you notice I haven't been able to avoid your wrath quite as easily today."

        "Maybe my aim is getting better," she replied, tossing her hair back.  "What does this have to do with anything?"

        He sighed.  Filia frowned.  It must have been the first time she'd seen him show the slightest sign of sorrow.  "Filia, no use introducing this.  I'm dying."

        "What?  What the hell are you talking about?"  Filia dropped the cloak, her fingers shifting to pull it around herself again.  "You're a Mazoku... you don't just... die...?"

        He snorted.  "I'm a servant, Filia.  Whether I'm a Mazoku or not, I'm Zelas's servant.  And it's time for a change, apparently.  She's found a way to make a more powerful servant, and I'm no longer of use.  So I'm going to rejoin chaos."

        "But..."  She shook her head. "You've served her for so long.  Doesn't she appreciate that?"

        "Mazoku can't have positive feelings, Filia.  And Zelas is definetly a Mazoku.  I don't mean anything to her."  He let out a deep breath.  "Damn... this is so hard to say..."

        "Isn't there... any way... you can not die...?"  Filia bit her lip. "I...  I really... I don't know how to say it, exactly... I just..."

        "No.  The Xelloss you're seeing here is not going to be any longer.  Except..."  He lowered his eyes again.  "Val... was reborn, you know... He was because he had another form to return to, and ... I've been saving bits of energy.  I almost have it complete..."

        "What?  What complete?" Filia said.  She wiped her face, surprised to find tears.  Why was she crying for that darned annoying Mazoku?  Was it just because it was that time of the month--okay, calm down, I promise I won't send that part... ::SD Filia retreats::

        "I've been creating a form for myself to be reborn into." He laughed slightly.  "Creation is NOT easy for a Mazoku.  And I wanted... I... mean... er... well... would you... "  He paused.

        "Yeeeesss?" Filia asked, leaning forward and raising an eyebrow.  He squirmed.

        "Would you... consider... raising me, like you are with Val?"  He looked up, seeming nervously.  "I know that's not the easiest thing to ask... but... I'd really... er..."

        Filia blinked.  "I... ME?"

        "No, the girl named Filia standing behind you.  What do you think?"

        "Well, yes, I guess...  Of course... but... why me?" Filia asked.  "I mean, I'm not that great with raising Val, and..."

        "Oh, hush.  You're doing a wonderful job, for a single mom."  He grinned, shutting one eye and regaining his usual teasing aura.  "I'm actually surprised that you're still single.  It MUST be that temper problem."

        "WHAT TEMPER PROBLEM?" SD Filia yelled, getting him in a headlock...not paying attention to where that placed his head...

        "Nice view!  So if I'm a baby, does this mean I'll be seeing more of th--"

        Filia smacked him across the room.  "No, you stupid Namagomi... don't be such a pervert, or I'll NEVER let you stay up past bedtime!!!"  She sighed, the enormity of the task finally hitting her.  "Gods, this is going to be hell..."

        "I'll make it up to you someday."  Xelloss smiled.  "You know, Mazoku aren't really capable of positive feelings, but I have to say I enjoy being around you. I don't know why, considering you used to be such a whiny little--I TAKE IT BACK!  I TAKE IT BACK!"  He backed off quickly into the corner.

        SD Filia was approaching with a VERY evil expression.  Her mouth twisted into a smile as her eyes narrowed.  She towered over the cowering Xelloss.  "You know, Xelloss-DARLING, I think I've had a realization."

        "Eek?" SD Xelloss managed, peeking out from between his fingers.

        "Mazoku don't like positive feelings very much, now do you?" she began.  "I wonder what this might do to you then..." Xelloss paled.

        "Oh no... you're not--even you can't be that evil!!!  I thought you said you were innocent!" SD Xelloss screeched, clawing at the wall.  The huge SD Filia laughed.

        "Take THIS, Namagomi!!!"  Filia glomped on him and gave him a very real kiss, then jumped back up.  She swirled his cloak around herself.  "How do ya like THAT, huh?"  The grin disappeared, and she blinked.  "Er..."

        Xelloss scratched his head.  "I thought that was supposed to be unpleasant."

        "So did I!  What did you do, you little--what did you do?" Filia demanded.

        Xelloss rubbed his chin, debating.  "But that wasn't that bad... a little on the quick side, a little less tongue than I like, maybe a--"

        "I'M NOT SOME WINE YOU'RE TASTING, NAMAGOMI!"  SD Filia screamed.  She frowned, glaring at him.  "I thought positive feelings were BAD for you!  What did you do?"

        He winked.  "Sore wa himitsu desu--"

        SD Filia's fangs were in his face.  "What--did--you--say?"

        "Er... I meant... that... Oh look, if it isn't Val-kun!  Hi, Val!" he said, waving frantically behind Filia.

        She shook her head, growling.  "It's not going to work, Xelloss.  Maybe I just didn't do it right--"

        "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!"

        Filia whirled around to see that Val was, indeed, standing on the landing.

        "EEEEEEEEEEKKK!" she cried, jumping for her clothes.  "It's not what it looks like--"

        "Filia-mama!  Mr. Xelloss!  I won't forgive you!"  Val's eyes were trembling with tears.  "How could you!!!"

        "Now, Val-kun, I wasn't doing anything--er, not much, anyways--" Xelloss began.  Val wailed, interupting him.

        "You played poker without me!  I won't forgive you!"  Val said, turning his back to them and began sulking.  Filia blinked, then started to laugh.

        "It's all right, Val, we can start another game right now," she said.  "We were just waiting for you anyways."  She smiled.  "Wanna deal, Namagomi?"

        "Sure... may I have my clothes back?" he asked timidly, holding out a hand.  Filia laughed again.

        "Nope--they're MY clothes now!  You have to win 'em back!"  She sat down.  "Come on, Val, let's play."

        Val smiled happily.  "Okay!"

        The scene fades through the window, zooming out to the peaceful night.  The stars sparkle, the moon smiles down on everything, the only noise is that off the crickets singing peacefully, until...

        "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'TAKE IT OFF'??? I WON!" Filia's voice came.

        "Filia-chan, don't be so cheap!  I had four aces, you didn't have a THING!  Now take off your clothes!"

        "Filia-mama, he did win!  Don't be shy!"

        "You're supposed to win your OWN clothes back before you win mine, you hentai!!!"

        "Come on, where does it say that in the rules?  TAKE IT OFF!  Or do you need some help?"

        "HENTAAAAIIIII!!!!!"