Part 1: Orsus
Section 2: Resolutions
Chapter 10-Healing
Rei sat with her feet tucked under her thighs, legs in a neat pretzel shape, before the fire. This particular fire had almost never gone out, except when a Serenity died. Then the next Serenity, her successor, would re-light the fire, and it would go on, and on, and on...
As she stared into the fire, oblivious of everything else around her, Hotaru watched her almost as if she had no other choice. The other dark-haired girl drew in the firelight unconsciously, but rather than merely reflecting the light off her raven hair, she gathered it into herself, and the fire became a part of her. Rei positively glowed with red and purple lights, which emanated from not only her hair and eyes but her entire being. When she glanced down at herself, Sosei was shocked to see a pearly purple light spreading upon her own skin. She had seen this pale, soft shade of lavender when she healed others...but what did it mean when she saw it upon herself? An unbidden voice answered the question.
"You're glowing, Hotaru, because your mind feels that you are in need of healing. You may have no bodily injuries, but your powers are reacting to the control of your brain. Don't worry–it'll fade soon." Rei's voice was lackluster but nearly as smooth and melodic as usual. While it wasn't the rich, honeyed tone of Minako's, Rei's voice was lower and soothing. She could have charmed a cat to sleep if she wanted to.
"Oh," she said in a soft voice, not sure of what to say in reply. All at once, she asked, "Rei, do you feel a deep unrest in your soul?"
"Hai."
"As if you're not sure who you failed?"
"Hai."
"Yourself or those you're sworn to protect?"
There was a rather full pause until Rei looked into purple eyes of a lighter but no less intense shade. "Hai. For the third time."
It was the younger girl, by a year, who glanced away and into the fire. In an apologetic tone, as glistening strands of inky, jet-black hair fell over her face, concealing her bright amethyst eyes, she murmured, "Gomen nasai, Rei. But may I ask you something else?"
"Of course. Gomen. I didn't mean to sound...I don't know. Fed up."
"Have you decided who or what you failed yet?"
Rei's hand went almost involuntarily to the sword lying in its sheath beside her, and she held it up before her face wonderingly. The way she held it, parallel to her face, split her exquisite visage into two halves: one was brilliantly aglow with the light from the fire, the other dark and shadowy from the dusk cast from the blade's shadow. Her voice was soft and hushed as she answered, "Iie, Hotaru."
She wondered if she should continue to press further and stared into her friend's face. She had never been extremely close to Rei before but neither had she been far. The way her face was defined now, not by features, for they were always distinct and exotically Rei, but by light and dark.
Senshi were kaleidoscopes unto themselves, she had decided over her past few days of near undisturbed silent contemplation. They were not all pure and white as their fukus and reputations indicated. They held truth, they were lies, they were protectors and defenders, they were assassins of the same race and others...the lists went on and on. These remarkable women were never cleansed of their blood debt. Eight women for kami-sama knew how many generations. And they were remarkable: amazing to those that knew them, equally awe-inspiring to those that didn't.
To some, the senshi were despised with a hatred that rotted them inside out, memories and family tales of their "tributes" to Serenity...whichever number Serenity it was. To others, senshi were icons to be both feared and worshiped, as if they were goddesses. To still others, senshi were saviors and messiahs, legends that gave hope to future generations.
Senshi were not all white, all light. They held shadows within them, the flaws of human nature, as all others of the universe that did, whether those others loved, hated, feared, or were enamored of them. But senshi were something very different to each other...particularly this generation of senshi. They were everything to each other so far: family, friends, sisters, help, love, opponents, allies, heartstrings, life-supports...
Minako's family had seen no use for their offspring that would never bring them much money or carry on the family name. What a name she had to carry now...but what a name she had forsaken. Ai. Love. Minako was love. Minako as Kinsei was Venus. If the two were two meld interchangeably, then why was Minako still unsure of being the leader she had to be? Was destined to be? It was clear to everyone else that she was the one among them.
Rei had nearly the same situation as Minako, but her older twin brothers had been away from home, training in the Martian army, when she had been thrown to the most convenient temple far enough away so neighbors wouldn't talk. She was the only one who didn't plan on returning to her home planet during her journey. Like Minako, Rei was fire. Hi. But she was also Kasei, Mars, in all the senses. She was strong and had proved so by making her choice. But it hurt.
Makoto barely recalled her parents but had a real longing for family. She would find her brother Raiden, if he was alive. If he wasn't, she would discover the truth. Makoto was one of those who pursued what she wanted until she got it. Kami-sama, was she stubborn. It was no wonder that her original name had been along the lines of "tree of truth."
Ami, poor, darling Ami, who hated pity. Who also hated enslavement and oppression but loved books and knowledge, as well as cleansing, refreshing water. Mizuno Ami had been a friend of the water. Mitsukai was one who would wield it now, to her advantage, as its mistress–and no other's. She knew her weaknesses and exploited her strengths. Unto the light...
Michiru was no longer thought of as a princess. Her ways were still the same as they had always been, but there was a difference to her beautiful form. She was a warrior now, in pursuit of justice and fairness as she would never have been able to do. Michiru...a pretty, flowing name... Uzushio, ocean waves crashing down upon whoever dared to oppose their dominating force.
Haruka enjoyed the cold, biting edge of wind and the freedom it gave her. She could see past the frigidity and chill, far past, to the soft, warm currents above. She had always been a fighter at heart, and although her court name was even more feminine than Haruka would ever be, she would be the dawning sky, part leader of the new generation....
Setsuna held the secret of the future, the key to the past, and...what of the present? No one was exactly sure, including Setsuna, and that may have been a first. She was mystery and everything unknown and what would come to be. Perhaps she had been born enigmatic, but with her sad-sweet smile, there were those that saw past the demands of her job to her soul.
And Hotaru herself? She hadn't come to terms with being someone who could end the world with a twirl of her glaive and three monumental words... Still, who could? She hoped that during her personal journey, she'd be able to understand more about herself, her position as a senshi, and the person she had become–or was it the person she had always been?
"Will you stay a senshi, Rei-chan? Are you...frightened of yourself?"
Rei's eyes were dusky hollows in the firelight that shone deep purple, and her voice was ageless as she replied sadly, "Perhaps not frightened, but I'm unsure of who I am now. Phobos-chan and Deimos-chan have talked to me about what happened...and I guess it was a life-or-death situation, but it still worries me. It was a lack of control. Will I stay a senshi? I honestly don't know, Hotaru-chan. I'm not Kasei-sama yet, and I don't know if I'll ever be. But I'll try."
The other girl nodded her understanding of most of her words then inquired, "Why?"
"When you're chosen, marked by kami-sama or whoever you believe to be up there, whether it's Serenity-sama or the ruler of the Underworld, I guess there's nothing you can do but go along with destiny sometimes. But you have to make sure it doesn't own you and that you're always true to yourself."
~~~~*~~~~
Makoto had been missing for a few hours from the girls' wing when Kyuusho, Setsuna's guardian, requested that would her charge please try to find her if she wasn't back by dusk. No one had any idea of her whereabouts–not even Aoao, her guardian. When night fell, she still had not returned.
The one designated to search for her sighed deeply, running distracted fingers through her long, dark green hair. It had been almost two weeks since the battle, and most of the girls were well on their way to recovery–but it had taken long, painful hours of work and cooperation, especially on her own part. She didn't resent being called upon, as the oldest of the senshi-in-training, but they all had their own concerns and stresses. Setsuna was worried about her journey, her duties, and her loyalty to Queen Serenity. When she had telepathed careful instructions and encouragement to Setsuna five years ago, the girl had been dazzled by the silvery-lavender of her aura and the unmistakable presence of the Moon Queen.
The glamor was fading, and she had begun to find worrisome faults. Serenity rarely communicated with any of the girls personally, except for Setsuna–and she wasn't sure if she liked being singled out this way. Of course, she adored Usagi, as they all did, but the queen unnerved her on a few counts. Her manner was everything it should be: cool, calm, logical, and completely emotionless. She always wore a stunning mask and had a beautiful smile that enchanted everyone around her. Setsuna saw how almost all of the noblemen looked at her with more than bare respect, the admiration in her subjects' gazes, and even the guards posted outside Serenity's chambers could not keep their full adoration and reverence for her looks and personal attributes a secret. It was as if they were under a wonderful sort of spell...and the terrible thought suddenly occurred to Setsuna, as her brisk footsteps pounded to an echoing stop in the loud marble hallways.
What if Queen Serenity, and perhaps all the Serenitys before her, had used the Ginzuishou to cast some spell of enchantment over anyone they wanted to entrance? Was that why no one seemed to have anything bad to say about the Moon Queens except on Earth, which had never agreed to the domineering influence of the White House from millennia and millennia ago? Was this the true secret to the success of the Silver Alliance, the long rule of the Moon Queens, the dark hiding in the Kingdom of Light? Was that why all the records showed no disobedience of the planetary senshi, who never seemed to have any problems with what was required of them? What if there were darker, dirtier missions covered up and no stain left over the thousands and thousands of years? No, no, it couldn't be.
But the doubts remained in her garnet eyes, and a new thought came to surface when she thought about Usagi. Her heart almost stopped for an instant, wondering if the bright, cheerful, loving little bunny of the moon presented to them (but not seen recently, under the tutelage of several etiquette and politics teachers) was merely a facade. Then Setsuna realized how dangerous suspicions without any real root in nature were.
How could she think such of things of Usagi, who was so genuinely innocent? Rei had told them once, after Usagi had left them for the night, how she remembered that when she had first begun seeing auras (with Phobos and Deimos's help), she had nearly been blinded when Usagi had come to visit soon after that session. Her aura had been so brightly and dazzlingly white that Rei confessed to have stumbled around with light-spots left in her vision for around an half-hour afterwards. The sheer brilliance of her pureness shined over the shadowy darkness of secrets and half-truths, all parts of the games of politics, in the palace. No, Usagi didn't have a lying or conniving bone in her body, no matter how many mischievous pranks she had played with Haruka. But her mother...there was something to think about.
Shaking herself, Setsuna turned her leaping mind back to the task at hand: to find her errant roommate. All at once, the solution to here whereabouts hit her in a sudden burst of inspiration. She wondered how she could have been so brainless in overlooking the obvious. If the brunette twelve-year-old brunette wasn't in her room, the kitchens, any of the practices rooms, with her guardian, or in the company of any of the girls...she had to be near greenery.
Makoto had been unused to the nearly-perfect atmosphere and environment of the Moon Kingdom, as had the other girls, created by the Ginzuishou to cover up the ugly craters and sparse, dusty rock. While the planets also had illusions to enhance the beauty of their respective surroundings, there was something strange about the Moon Palace and the entire Moon Kingdom that no one could put their fingers on. It was just too perfect: war had never marred the beautiful plains of waving grasses, the Sea of Serenity was placid and sparkling with clear blue-green water, and the weather was always beautiful. In the past five years, the girls had never experienced a storm, wild breezes, or pouring rain: just sunny, robin's-egg-blue skies. Each planet was different.
Pluto was incredibly cold but had absolutely no precipitation. Most of the landscape was black, jutting rock that gave an opaque impenetrability to the world.
The majority of Neptune was ocean, and the people had long adapted to salt-water living. Neptunians had managed to build air-filled kingdoms under the sea, and their homes cast a beautiful golden light upwards through shifting aqua waters. Those that lived on what dry land there was had long resigned themselves to the continue flooding and possibility of having their houses swept away in the blink of an eye–or the crashing of a tsunami.
Nearby was Uranus, which had an extremely thick atmosphere very close to the ground. Because strong winds were consistent, often creating whirlwinds or tornadoes upon the barren, scraped dirt, Uranians had built lofty sky castles upon puffy white clouds. Their beauteous kingdoms were famed all over the universe, and Uranus received many visitors.
Of course, all the environments of the planets were magically-enhanced with power from both the Ginzuishou and the core of the planets, from which senshi also drew their energy. No one wanted to think about what would happen if any of the mana sources ran out.
Saturn's population lived on its numerous and substantial rings. No one remembered why the original colonists had avoided the planet itself, but there must have been a reason...
Jupiter was lush jungle, full of tropical plants and birds. The climate tended to be warm, and there were quite a few marshes and bogs hidden away in the interior of the planet. Jovians were proud of their awe-inspiring storms, with huge crashes of thunder that scared visitors witless. To the inhabitants of Jupiter, it was merely accompaniment to their daily lives, a percussion of sorts. Thousands of scholars lived for years on Jupiter to study the lightning bolts that spun across the sky with amazing ferocity and speed, crackling and hissing its supreme domination.
Mars was red, dusty, and also very windy. It was also hill country, with a wide scattering of mountains and craters, the most notable impact crater being Hellas Planitia. Olympus Mons, the largest mountain range in the Solar System, was _not_ one of the little conveniences designed by the Ginzuishou. Apparently, it had been there as long as historians had written and people had colonized Mars. Tharsis was the giant, odd bulge of the surface of the red planet, and no one was quite sure where it came from, either.
Venus was extremely hot and contained abundant deserts of golden sand. Its nearly unbearable climate was the reasons why many Venusians wore very little by the way of what was decidedly considered inappropriate clothing. They also lacked "proper modesty," but everyone respected Venusian pride and scruples after a few monumental cases.
Mercury's temperatures ranged between abominably hot and sub-zero freezing. Thus, its inhabitants had long tunneled into the bounteous stone (of which there was no lack of). Safe in interminable caves deep underground, they had also discovered magnificent ice caverns with glowing blue ice that was the envy of all the other planets. Many notable scholars and scientists were able to study the sun, which Mercury was closest to out of all the other planets, from their protective positions, encompassed in rock.
And so, although Makoto knew they were no substitute for the real thing that only existed on Earth, she preferred spending as much time as she could in the formal gardens of the Moon Palace–something oddly forbidden to the girls'. They could only go into the private gardens, accessed by their guardians, but there was less interesting plant growth there. Makoto preferred the excitement of sneaking past the guards and by-passing all security measures, and so she strived to enter the formal gardens, never minding the scoldings she received from Aoao, Luna, or Artemis. Sure enough, as Setsuna passed in easily enough, the brown-haired girl was perched atop a wall, staring meditatively at the deep emerald green of some spiny, thorny plants.
"Makoto?"
"Oh, Setsuna." She looked up rather disinterestedly at first, then turned her gaze back to the plants. "What are these called again?"
"Roses. Apparently, there are many of them on Earth. But no roses, magical or real, are grown on any of the other planets besides Earth and the Moon." Setsuna felt the flush of anger, a result of her long and fruitless searching, drain away. She felt oddly at peace and climbed up effortlessly to sit next to the younger girl. "Have you been here all day?"
She smiled slightly. "Iie. First I tried the maze, but it wasn't that hard to get through. After I got out, I just examined everything and anything in the formal gardens–until I found these. Roses," she repeated, tasting the word. "I guess Aoao-chan and everyone else are angry at me?"
"Perhaps. _I_ was mad at you, a little. It's hard to find you when you want to stay hidden," the dark-haired girl explained, seeing Hitohana's look of surprise. Setsuna rarely became angered with any of them, and her amount of sheer patience was staggering.
"Gomen nasai. I just needed some more time to think about...about things."
She smiled gently and asked, "And what conclusions have you come up with?"
Makoto shrugged her shoulders silently and waited for a few moments before telling her, "There are three colors of roses here: yellow, pink, and white. Personally, I think all three are equally beautiful, although I'm rather partial to pink. But the white roses...they seem to be pretty and so clean, honorable, noble..."
As her voice trailed off, the older girl began seeing the connection between her own thoughts and Makoto's. She wasn't really talking about the roses anymore.
"But they overshadow the pink and yellow roses. They grow better, too: taller and straighter, with nicer and nearly-perfect petals. I mean, the petals _are_ perfect. Because the Ginzuishou makes everything perfect, like Serenity-sama.
"And if the white roses are the Moon Queens, then what are the senshi, single flower?" Setsuna asked quietly, as her dark, wine-red eyes bored into Makoto's forest green ones.
Makoto smiled again, lips curving upwards. "We're the thorns, Suna-chan. Ready to stand at attention, do battle, and prick heedless threats to our kingdom Rose."
~~~~*~~~~
"Setsuna's been gone a long time."
"But Makoto's been gone longer," the sandy-haired girl observed to the other blonde. Her hair was paler than the vibrant, almost glowing shade of Minako's hair, but it was no less golden.
Minako shrugged and returned to polishing her rapier. She and Haruka, growing bored with the lapse of their classes and practice these past two weeks, had proposed a practice match with Soyakaze judging. She had finally declared the match a stalemate, and both girls had been eager to stop after sparring for nearly two hours. Now, they remained in the bare practice room while the guardian had left to do something or other. Their company was friendlier and more common usual. Haruka was usually found with Michiru, then Makoto, and Ami very often as of late.
The golden-haired girl gave a small squeak when she cut herself on her sword, which was not only _extremely_ sharp but double-edged. As she dropped the rapier, staring at the blood welling up on her right index finger in fascination, Haruka sheathed her own sword and came over. Her head had jerked up at the first noise her companion had made.
"It's been a long time since you've done that," she said, voice soft but grave, "dajibou?"
"H-hai," she answered rather distractedly, still looking at the blood. Blood. Red, dark...and when it dried to a crusty brown...smelling of iron...blood had such a distinct smell. It tasted salty and was as nasty as bile...
Suddenly, firm hands gripped her shoulders in a tight but gentle hold, shaking her. "Mina. Stop that."
"N-nani? What...what happened?"
Haruka sat back down next to her, wiping away the blood with a clean cloth quickly and efficiently. "You were staring at your finger, and all of a sudden, you drifted off. Your eyes grew all cloudy, and they darkened a few shades."
She frowned and murmured, "Not my finger..the...the blood. Why is that word so ominous, ‘Ruka?"
"Because bloodshed is never something to be cherished."
"What about in war? Against enemies?"
"You will never convince me that war is a good thing."
"Iie, of course not," Minako replied, "but is it ever necessary?"
Royal blue eyes became hazy for a few minutes as she contemplated the question carefully. "I don't know. It depends. I guess so, in certain circumstances."
"How do we know?" she asked persistently.
"If I knew," Haruka retorted pleasantly, staring into other girl's eyes, "I wouldn't be so damned confused about everything. And I would be answering you. About being senshi, about war, about Serenity-sama, and about transforming. It's strange, you know. When you attack someone as a senshi, you don't see the blood until later."
Minako sighed quietly and tore her gaze away. "Later. Everything adds up later. Does it ever end? Do we ever get up to later? And do things ever resolve themselves before it's too late?"
She grinned suddenly, features lighting up as she said, "That's our job."
~~~~*~~~~
Ami brooded moodily, staring at the shores of the Sea of Serenity, known as the Mare Serenitatis from the earlier millennia. Now, the first name was more widely known and used. Michiru had come with her, and both made no movement to talk until they were ready, a silently mutual agreement. They sat in peaceful accord, gazing at the sea.
There were nine seas on the Moon, but the Mare Serenitatis was the one closest to the Moon Palace–and fittingly so. The girls had a very nice view of it from the Hall of the Senshi, and the two balconies they had access to overlooked the private and formal gardens, as well as the sea in a strange but lovely harmony.
They watched the green breakers curl up–for one breathtaking moment, it looked as if the world froze for an instance–and the olive green waves melded perfectly to form striated stone that was deep, majestic, and foreboding. A minute later, the old spell was broken and a new enchantment enacted.
The bright rays of light reflected off the combers just before they curled over, sounding an almighty crash and bringing sprays of sparkling white foam. It was slightly unsettling but wonderful to see sea mist being so far away from the sky yet unearthly resembling the wispy white clouds that drifted across a royal blue background unconcernedly. Farther off in the distance, the sea was calmly cerulean and serene, without any evidence of movement. The sunlight danced playfully across the deep, shimmering blue to throw off a glimmering, diamond-like pattern. But the sea, the roaring of the waves crashing upon the sandy shore, and a natural force lacking domination by any other were more precious than any gems to the few special people who spoke the language of the sea.
Michiru flung back her locks of curly aquamarine hair, eyes as aqueous a green as the seawater near them. Softly, she murmured a few words in her native language, Neptunian–something she had not spoken to another for a little over five years.
The languages of the water people and water itself were similar, and the blue-haired girl smiled gently. Her eye softened from the closed, hard sapphire that had developed after the village incidents, and she responded in flowing Mercurian. They understood each other perfectly: question and answer were both time-old and honored greetings between those of the sea. After a few more minutes, the younger girl was ready to talk and said so. "Ne, Michiru, you regret blood spilled on your hands?"
"Despite the fact that I know it was in self-defense."
"And that it might not have been, which is not exactly the most reassuring thing. Demo, Michiru, it's not that much better without the blood. I always knew I wasn't as strong as the rest of you–I can't run the mountain trial more than once, I'm less comfortable and capable around weapons, I'm not ‘built' for hand-to-hand fighting, and my healing skills are laughable. Hotaru's the more natural healer, and I...I'm just useless. There isn't a place for me in the world anymore, and no matter how helpless I am, I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to."
Running her fingers through the tangles of her wind-tossed hair, the other girl looked back at the Sea of Serenity and pointed out, "We will always be here, Ami-chan, whether you need us or not. Don't close yourself off to anyone."
Bottomless blue captured and held ocean-green until Ami drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, simultaneously relinquishing the other girl's gaze. "You _are_ here, as are the others," she acknowledged steadily, "in more ways than one. But you are also in need of a deliverance from pain. To help another, you must first have a freer soul."
"Hai. For the longest time afterwards, I kept looking at my hands and then away. It hurt to look at them...they were stained red before. Youma can still have red blood. Even now, I keep checking to make sure the blood's not there anymore." She wiped a rainbow-filled droplet off her cheek, closing her eyes against the sun's warmth while the fresh sea breezes made their wet skin prickle with goosebumps. Neither had been in the water, but they were so close to the Mare Serenitatis that the winds drenched them with salty water. It left grainy salt deposits on their skin, like the tears that also left salt crystals long afterwards. "And yet, it still is, in a way. The blood can never be washed clean, and it can only accumulate over the years. And the world doesn't care, Ami! They want us to shoulder the inconceivable burden Serenity-sama claims we were chosen for, and they don't understand any of it."
"Then we were chosen to do the dirtiest work in the world," the younger girl responded, her tone direct and cool, "and we will never be released...if we accept. You still have time to return to Neptune, Michiru. No one would accuse you of any cowardice. You could be the best princess ever, with all the training you have, with your compassion, and how you see peoples' real personality."
The aqua-haired girl smiled faintly and made a graceful, shooing motion of her hand. Everything about her spoke of elegance, nearly unparalleled beauty, and extreme sadness. There was something about Setsuna, Michiru, Hotaru, and Ami that conveyed an inexplicable and other-worldly sorrow. "Arigato gozaimisu, but I've made my choice. I renounced all my titles the minute I left Neptune with Setsuna. I will accept the pain of this life because of two reasons: it provides an escape from the world of princesses and royalty and, like you, there is nothing left for me–that I want–but our sisterhood."
Ami smiled at her and walked into the surf, recalling a time when she had been unable to swim, and Minako had comforted her and given her the key to mastering her fear. Laughing softly as Michiru joined her, she clasped her hand tightly as they dove under companionably together. When they broke the surface once more, a bright light shone from the depths of her dark eyes as she echoed softly, "Our sisterhood. May it never break throughout the years, and may we always be true to each other and survive our separate journeys. Ganbatte ne, minna."
~~~~*~~~~
Caelum
