Part II - Nightfall
The last people I ever expected to see at D-point were the sailor senshi and yet here they are, short skirts and all, shimmering with the remnants of the teleportation spell. Although the magic helps, to a degree, senshi fukus are simply not what one expects to see at subzero temperatures. Then again, their utter lack of preparation strengthens my firm belief that their presence here stems from complete insanity rather than courage or stupidity.
None of them belong here; not even Mercury, whose control extends over ice, can change this land. The senshi, on their most fundamental level, are light. With that comes warmth and color. This world is dazzling in spite of, because of, its desolation; there is nothing but endless stretches of pure, pure white, an alabaster beyond the finest marbles mined from the earth’s innards. Nothing thrives but my despair.
It grows and grows as I fall in step with them, overcoming any chance denial would have had. If I look back, I would see only five sets of heel- and boot-prints, as I can no longer leave traces of my presence. If I look forward, all I would see is whiteness meeting the intense blue of the cloudless sky at the horizon line, far in the distance. But I don’t look back, and I don’t look forward, because from this point on, the past no longer matters and they have no future. All I can see is Ami’s face and Ami’s eyes.
Is it a very great sin that even though her expression is more grave than it has ever been and the fear lurks in her eyes, I think she is the loveliest thing I have ever seen? She is more afraid than she has ever been in her life, even when the Moon Kingdom fell, for she was so much older then. And yet, she is so beautiful that I cannot think much past that fact.
Venus chatters, forgetting how to calm her nerves as she tries to map out a strategy, and Mars’s foreboding silence gives her face and aura a shadowy quality. Jupiter helps Moon over the packed snowdrifts, always on her guard and prepared to combat any physical threat which may approach. Far to the right, Mercury tracks the landscape with sharp eyes, managing to glance at her supercomputer from time to time as she searches for a route into Beryl’s lair. She speaks when she has something important to say, and they listen.
Jupiter mentions that they have been walking forever – has it really been so? I am a better judge of eternity than they are, but I cannot say I am without bias.
It seems like scant seconds since I have been in Ami’s presence again, drinking in the sight of her, her voice, her habits, her quiet mannerisms that make you smile even on the most hideous of days.
Can you imagine what it must be like for me, seeing her again this way? Imagine the rosiest, most golden memory you have of an ex-lover, and you come face to face with them on a street corner. Something about her face, her build, the way she walks, may pull at you, or it may not, but you walk past. Some time later, it strikes you, that was her. Or your friend walking alongside you, who knew the both of you asks, “Hey…wasn’t that the girl you dated during sophomore year of college?”
Time collapses, and you realize suddenly that at one point in your life, she meant more to you than anything in the world. She was your world: she was what you lived, breathed, believed in, and thought of every second of the day – or as close to it as possible. And all that wanting and loving just disappeared in what seems like a snap of the fingers.
You might look back, catch the last glimpse of glossy hair swinging over her shoulders, and remember for just a moment what it was like to be in love with her. It’ll seem strange to you that the feeling faded so quickly when it once seemed a thing so indestructible it would outlive the craters of the moon, or at least the myths of Atlantis. There might be a moment of nostalgia for what could have been, or even should have been, but unless it’s meant to be, it’ll pass.
It wasn’t like that for me.
The last time I saw Ami, I saw her as Mercury. And even though they are very similar, they are also quite different. We faced each other in battle, and I had nothing but the deepest scorn for her. I didn’t even feel enough towards her to loathe her. I had nothing but anger and frustration that these pathetic little children were foiling my plans. Chance always seemed to pull them through at the last minute. It was nothing personal. I barely differentiated her from the rest of the senshi, just noted that she was a bit smarter than the rest and a bit weaker on the fighting front.
But once I died, everything came back to me. Every kiss, every smile, every hug, every sweet nothing and every angry word that passed between us, and also the feeling of my sword passing into her body and jarring against her ribcage before I wrenched it free, smeared thickly with the dark blood that heralded her death.
I look at her now, pulling in every minute detail I can, encasing every second in my memory so that once this is over, I can go back and remember, and believe that for a few moments, she was all of my world again. It hurts to see her here, walking resolutely on to certain doom, even as I cannot tear my eyes from her. Her computer beeps suddenly, so at last, I look away. There should be nothing, but what is that strangely-amorphous figure in the distance?
...no. I don’t understand. There is no reason the Doom and Gloom Girls should be around D-point, unless... Unless...
I have always loathed the Doom and Gloom Girls, for no discernable reason up until now. They were cruel to beyond the point of sadistic, seductive, and ranked among Beryl’s top warriors. Of course, that tells you something about how pathetic her army is nowadays, myself included. But Moon and her senshi don’t stand a chance against them.
The ground heaves violently, and Jupiter goes soaring into the air above a mound of ice, caught in the clutches of one of the Girls. The rest of the senshi scramble to their feet, calling to her, and I can only stand here dumbly, my hands at my sides.
Even if I had put them out to catch you, Ami, you would still have fallen through them. And yet, you still feel more insubstantial to me.
Jupiter went quietly in the Silver Millennium, if I recall correctly. This time her lightning flashed across the skies, filling the plain with her presence for one blinding moment before she was gone. I cannot grieve for her, because still, no matter how foolish it is, my thoughts are with the living. How much longer?
They go on, at last, saddened and warier and already older in seconds. Moon offers up the Silver Crystal in hopes of saving the rest of them. She has yet to understand that Beryl’s craving goes beyond that the desire for her power. Metallia wants the power. What Beryl seeks is vengeance.
The mists rise suddenly, but when you’re all but nothingness, you can see clearly. The second of the Girls has disguised herself as an adolescent boy. Possessed of lank brown hair, he slumps over in his bonds, apparently unconscious.
Mercury recognizes him, calls him by name – Greg. A classmate? A friend? Perhaps even a crush. But surely nothing more important than that. Surely.
Come on, Ami, you’re smarter than that. It’s a trap.
He doesn’t need your help.
He can’t make you forget who you are, where you are, your sense of self-preservation, damn it!
She can’t hear me, of course.
Of course.
I knew it was coming all along, even before I saw them at D-point. I knew it the minute I awoke to find myself here, with no body and no power but every single memory I ever possessed, and then some. If I knew it would happen, why does it still hurt?
Is it not enough that I killed you once, but now I was made to see you die again, completely powerless? When I killed you, you were angry. You were furious with me, and so sad, and in pain, and afraid for Serenity and your fellow senshi. But you did not fear for yourself.
This time, I watched the terror fill your eyes. I watched you die a second death, this one even more senseless than the first, and still we aren’t together. Where is the justice in it?
One by one, Venus and Mars were picked off. I felt them go, with three of the Girls. But I stayed. Serenity went on to battle Queen Beryl and my prince, and still I stayed. I stayed past the time when the blood stopped dripping. I stayed as true night fell over the Kingdom.
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