Chapter 7
Zoite awoke early the next morning, tousle-headed and in need of more sleep but determined to have a talk with Ami if it killed him (although he devoutly hoped it wouldn't require that much sacrifice on his part). The night before, after their run-in before dinner, Amiliana had not appeared again. He doubted that she had eaten. Mina and Lita had stayed in the parlor with him, Kunshan, and Janus while Rei remained upstairs, but their usual light-heartedness discussion was strained. Lita was not her usual good-natured self, Janus looked grave and pensive, and there was something strange going on between Kunshan and Mina that Zoite wanted no part of.
At any rate, he was set on finding out exactly what had happened to Ami back in the East and just how good his chances were with her, as he had finally given in to the inevitable urges of his heart. And so, he was lurking around impatiently in the stables once again. After spending a few days with the Bliss girls, he had begun to learn their habits. Ami's especial refuge was the lake, and few dared to disturb her there. He was going to need more than his usual store of courage (with which he faced outlaws of all sorts) to intercept her. And there she was, walking out of the front door with a straw hat in one hand and a thick volume in the other. He was beginning to think he was really suicidal.
"Ami," he said suddenly, stepping out of the shadows and into her path.
She was startled briefly but regained her composure. "Good morning, Zoite. You're up early this morning."
"As are you. Er...Ami, I was wondering, if you aren't too busy–I should be looking for Nestor's horse. He must be nearby, and we've forgotten about him in all the excitement. I figured, since the others are going to be busy all day, that I might as well get up early and get it over with, before the sun goes up and it gets too hot. Um..." He shifted nervously, digging his boot deeper into the dirt until he flushed and stopped disturbing the ground.
Astutely, she suggested, "Would you like some company? Rei doesn't like leaving the house as a rule, and no one else seems to be awake yet. And we seem to have some issues to discuss." Her voice and eyes dropped at the last sentence, and he cleared his throat quickly.
"I'd appreciate it very much."
"Then let me go put this book inside and tell Rei where we're going." Slipping inside the house again, Ami called softly, "Rei?"
"I'm in the kitchen!"
Blinking, her sister retraced her steps. "You usually don't get the urge to experiment with anything in the kitchen except tea, Rei. Is something...wrong?"
Glowering at the mess in the spice cupboard, the raven-haired woman shook her head. "No. Never mind. Is something going on? Did you find Zoite?"
"Um...yes. We're going to find Nestor's horse."
"Are you." Her voice was flat and disinterested, but Rei looked up quickly. "Ami, you do realize that he's more interested in you–in a romantic way–than he has any right to be?" When the other flushed rosily, she continued in annoyance, "Men. They're all the same. They have awful timing, and they take advantage of you when you're weakest."
"I don't think you're being very fair, Rei. Don't you think it's time you and Janus made up? You were such good friends once, and I think you'd be happier if you went back to how things were in the old days."
Rei's eyes blazed fiercely as she snapped, "Well, I disagree. He was the one who spoiled things, and they can never go back to the way they were. Besides, there's no problem to resolve. He doesn't love me anymore. And that's that."
Softly, she asked, "He said so?"
"Yes." Looking suddenly defeated, Rei waved her hands in a dismissive gesture and sank into a cushioned seat at the table. "Go on, before I change my mind and throw them all out before Nestor's done healing."
"Rei, I'm sure things will be fine. You just have to talk it over with him a little...and Zoite means well. He's not the same kind of person as Gregory. Everything about him, the way he acts, and how I feel towards him, is different. I'll be fine. Trust me."
She smiled tiredly and watched her leave, refraining from reminding Ami of the last time she had told her sisters to "trust her." Sighing, Rei set her cup down on the table with a loud clang and covered her face with her hands.
"Rei."
She was about to reply dismally, "What now?" when she realized who the speaker was. She still had enough spirit to gather her pride and lift her hand. "Yes? Good morning, Janus."
"Morning. There's been something I've been wanting to talk about with you."
Again, Rei had to refrain from speaking her mind. This time, she was praying that they would safely avoid another noisy confrontation. For one thing, the entire household (excepting Zoite and Ami, she thought sourly) was asleep. And she just didn't have enough fight left her to got through with another heated argument. "Yes?" she inquired civilly instead.
The blond-haired man refused the seat that she offered him with a questioning look. "It'll only take a second. You should go back to bed. It's early yet, and you looked exhausted."
"I'm fine."
"All right. Well, we were thinking–Kunshan, Zoite, and I–that it's about time we cleared out. Nestor–well, he has a unique situation. Am I right in thinking that if he and Lita patch things up, that they'll be married shortly?"
"You are."
He nodded briefly. "Well. The other three of us, having different circumstances, think it's time we stopped burdening you with our presence. It'll be easy enough to find places in town to stay, and after all, I do live right above my office. There's enough room for Zoite there, I'm guessing, and Kunshan shouldn't have too hard a time of finding somewhere, since he's probably only staying for a short bit. His roots are back East, in business." Too tired to argue, Rei nodded and listened to his common sense. Before she could even frame an invitation for them to stay that wasn't too forthcoming, he nodded shortly and said, "I hope you don't mind if we inconvenience you a bit more for breakfast. We'll be off after that, but I think we'll come back to see how Nestor's doing. I hope it won't be too much trouble."
"No, not at all," she heard herself reply distinctly, although the edges of reality seemed to be blurring for her. His words seemed to come through a distant haze, and she was having trouble focusing her mind. The one thought that loomed in her mind was "He's leaving. At last. Good riddance. But I wish he wasn't..."
Janus raised his eyebrows questioningly, noticing something about her manner. However, after their last spat, he was not eager to provoke a new battle and left after a quick farewell.
Meanwhile, Rei put her head down on the table, her right cheek pillowed on the hard, polished wood. Soon, tears gleamed on the satiny dark surface, and her eyes closed as they trailed sideways down her face.
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By breakfast, Ami and Zoite had not returned yet. Nestor's horse, however, seemed to have made it safely to the House of Bliss on his own accord. Several pairs of eyebrows were raised suggestively, but comments were declined by all. After a quiet meal, during which Minalia and Kunshan were the only conversationists, Litalia returned to her room. While she was striding down the hallways at a slower pace than usual, trying to think of what she would say and vainly attempting to put off the upcoming confrontation, she didn't notice the person framed by light, although his features were obscured (his back was to the gleaming sunlight, which glowed around the edges of his figure) clinging to the doorway. She bumped into gently, but unbalanced because of his injured leg, Nestor fell against the wall with a grunt.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, immediately springing forward to help him. Belatedly, she realized that it was good she hadn't been racing along the hallways without noticing where she was going. Such an impact would probably have put him into bed for another week or so. "You shouldn't be up–why did you leave your bed!"
Smiling weakly, he let her help him back into his room but declined the bed, collapsing into a chair instead. "I was waiting for you. You haven't come by recently, and I needed to talk to you. Zoite's usually the only one who comes by in the morning, but he hasn't today, so I couldn't ask him to get you to come in. And since you seem to avoid me like poison, I decided I preferred standing to lying in wait. This way," his dark eyes twinkled playfully, "the kind nurse who dislikes invalids is forced to bring the unruly patient back into his room." Placidly, when she declined comment (although she was blushing furiously), Nestor remarked, "I've been thinking a lot these lonely, empty hours about the work that still needs to be done on the house. Rei's been in to talk to me a little, and I've been thinking about the job prospects. Kunshan and Zoite, and Janus especially, have been helpful in that department and telling me about all the work you've all been doing on your own."
Her eyes had widened during his little speech, and her mouth was open slightly. "W–what?
You're planning on staying after all?"
He looked equally puzzled, then distraught. "Would you like me to leave?"
"No! I just thought you might want to...Ami said you were upset after I spoke sharply to you, and Rei and Mina say you've been unusually quiet. I was afraid that you had changed your mind about everything...but since you have plans for everything...I'm sorry; I'm babbling. I just don't know what to say." Her fingers twisted nervously in her lap, and she looked away.
Nestor frowned uncertainly. "I wasn't planning on leaving, and I'd like to stay, if I'd be welcome. Have you changed your mind about anything? If you're uncomfortable, I want you to tell me what's on your mind–always."
Lita's eyes were still downcast, safely focused on something besides his earnestly beseeching eyes. "Nestor, I still think you're a wonderful person. I would like you to stay here, and you'd be welcome. But I don't think that I'm ready to be married yet. Please don't take this the wrong way. I do think that I care for you, a lot, and in the–the right way. But I need more time after all. I'm a different person now, and you were away for so long...it made me doubt myself so much. I began rebuilding my confidence, and my hope, but things changed again, now that you've finally showed up."
"Did you really lose hope that I would return?" he asked, navy blue eyes grave.
"I–perhaps not," she admitted, flushing. "But will you give me the time?"
"Yes," he answered instantly. "I'm going to wait, and I'm going to stay put this time, Litalia Bliss. I don't want to lose you. I got here so late not because of my own will but because I had to. If you need time, so be it. But mind that you don't take too long. I've waited all these months to see you again, as long as you've waited for me, and I suffered during that absence as well, Lita. I worried about you. I wondered if you had met someone you thought of more highly than me–someone handsomer, richer, better endowed–anyone that may have caught your fancy. And I must warn you that I can't wait forever."
She felt a rush of sudden hot anger wash over her. "Is that what you think of me? That I'm a disloyal gold-digger? I wore your ring all this time, and everyone knew that I was waiting for you. Of course, they began to doubt the integrity of my words, but you don't need to know about that." Her green eyes blazed as she added, "I don't need an ultimatum from you. If you want to leave, you can leave whenever you want." With that, Lita stalked out of the room, her face as stormy as the fat gray clouds that had begun to gather ominously in the sky...
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When they had gone some distance into the woods, Ami slowed her horse gradually, and Zoite matched her, until they stopped completely. Pushing back the hood of her cloak, she turned to look at him. Coolly, she said, "You didn't come out here with me just to find Nestor's horse. You wanted to talk about Gregory, didn't you?"
Vainly, he tried to make light of the matter. "Usually, as my job entails interrogation, the people I associate with don't take the bull by the horns in such a manner," he commented.
Her eyes seemed several shades darker than usual as they gazed at him piercingly. "Well, I'm not the type of person you usually associate with in your chosen profession now, am I?"
Sensing her obvious disdain, he asked, "You seem perturbed. Sheriffs are needed to uphold the law and keep order."
"And very rarely do they marry. Very few of them stay on the job long enough to get old; they quit, or they die."
"Marriage is such a complicated affair. I had no idea you were so interested in my apparently meager prospects, Miss Ami."
She had begun studying the foliage around them, especially the plants growing on the earth above the tree roots, but she swung around to face him. Her light voice was abnormally direct as she replied, "You're a charmer, Zoite Skylab. I had no idea about that, either. Your motives are becomingly increasingly transparent."
"Interesting. I'm used to being told that I'm a tactful man."
"You are. You're very considerate, and your delicacy of phrasing is a marvel. But even Rei, who's wrapped up in her rather unsubtle battle with Janus, can sense that something is going on." Ami glanced sideways at him, gauging his reaction. So far, he seemed utterly stupefied. Softening the impact of her words with a smile, she continued, "You're a good person, Zoite. There's a lot about you that I admire. I feel comfortable around you, and you can accept me for who I've become. I'm not sure my sisters have fully done so. But it may be because you don't know what happened. We've known each other for a long time, and you even seem to like the way I am. But I don't want anything to happen between us."
"I don't suppose you're going to give me an explanation?" he demanded.
"Of course I am. You don't think I began saying all that for nothing, did you? Never mind. It was a rhetorical question. The point is, Zoite, I would have killed an innocent child without a qualm–and I would probably do the same thing if it happened all over again. Which it won't, because I've promised never to involve myself with another man."
He looked shell-shocked. "What? But you–what are you saying? You love children. I've seen you at the office–you hold them, and you listen to them, and they adore you."
She sighed. "I knew this would get confusing along the way. You knew that I was pregnant that night, Zoite. And don't you dare try to lie to me, just to keep my feelings from being hurt or other such nonsense. And if you didn't, you're not as smart as I think you are."
The blond-haired man smiled crookedly, although his light eyes remained worried. "All right. I did."
"But you never said anything about it, until now, and I appreciate it. I want you to know that, above all things. I was carrying Greg's child, and I lost that baby. The worst part was, I was relieved that everything had happened the way it did–except for that part about my father dying, of course. But after that, I was so focused on thinking that it was fortunate that things had happened this way. That I would have had to ‘get rid of it' somehow, anyway." Her long lashes quivered as they touched her cheek several times before she went on.
Her listener was silent and sober.
"I've always been a coward. I would never have been able to stand the thought that my child would be his, because I hated him so much for what he did to me, and how he tricked me into believing that I truly cared for him. I wouldn't have been able to hold my head up in front of everyone if they had known. And now you know what kind of a person I truly am. Besides my own experience, it wouldn't be fair to you–to any man–to feel that they love someone as spoilt as I have been."
Suddenly, forcibly, he gripped her thin shoulders and turned her around to face him. They had ignored the roll of thunder overhead, and even as rain began tumbling down through they mists, neither looked up. "Ami. How can you say something like that? Especially after dealing with that bastard, you deserve to be happy with someone who you love, who truly loves you and who will bring you joy. I want to be that person, Ami. And I'm willing to help you over these obstacles that seem firmly planted in your way. If you stop seeing yourself in such a negative light and open your heart, gradually, better times will come."
"No! Haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying?" she cried desperately.
He couldn't tell if the trails of water on her cheeks were bitter tears or rain, but the look in her eyes made his heart seem heavier than it already was. He wanted so much to help her...if she would let him. Impulsively, although he had a very clear idea of what was going on, he reached out to cup her face gently in his hands. She was too shocked to resist, and quickly, he took possession of her lips, as rapidly as the way she had won his heart so long ago.
Again, she pulled away from him, the despair and heartbreak evident in her features. Without saying anything, she ran–galloped–away from him for the second time in the past twelve hours or so.
This time, however, he gave chase, although he had no clue where they were going. Despite the crashes of underbrush she heard behind her, Ami continued on her chosen path, and when they had reached the lake at the end of the Bliss property, she dismounted and let her horse return to its stall in the stable docilely. She stood, as still as a statuette, and cried silently as she watched the raindrops plopping into the tempestuous waters, which were as turbulent as her soul. Zoite had sent electrical sparks from her lips throughout the rest of her body, and she was at a loss for how to react. She had tried so hard to get him to change his mind, to divert his attention. But nothing had worked, and she didn't know if the world was about to come crashing down behind her ears or if she was relieved.
Her eyes caught movement at the edges of her vision, but this time, she didn't turn around right away. She knew who was there. She knew what he wanted, what she truly wanted. And she knew what she would do.
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AN: A thoroughly Ami chapter ^^ but with a snippet of Rei/Janus and an interesting Lita/Nestor scene. You all thought that they'd make up by now, didn't you? But I just have to go and prolong things. *sigh* Sorry Kaze...was this another cliffhanger? ^^;; But at least it's coming pretty quickly. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks so much for the wonderful reviews for the previous chapter!!!!!
~Ice
