Author's note: This continues the series of first person POV stories involving the sailor senshi that I have started. I own nothing but my own words and my take on the characters others have created.
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I am worried about the team. No one else seems to be worried, but it's my job. We all follow our princess, but I'm the leader. I'm worried about this relationship between Ami and Makoto. They haven't admitted anything yet, but it is really obvious that they are an 'item' now. Maybe I'm the only one who sees it because of who I am, of what I represent.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for both of them. They both suddenly seem at peace. It's just that love isn't our first concern. Our primary responsibility has to be to protect the Moon Princess, not just because we love Usagi completely, but because she represents the salvation of everything. We have all died for her. We must all be willing to again. Will Ami and Makoto be willing to sacrifice the lives of each other to save Usagi? They have to be.
It's kind of ironic, the 'goddess of love' concerned because two of her very best friends are in love. I should be happy for them. Maybe I'm just jealous. A long time ago, one of the bad guys told me that my love would always be hopeless, that I'd never escape from my duty. Maybe I'm upset because Ami and Makoto have found a way to marry love and duty. We've all known for awhile now that we'll be together forever. Maybe if they've found a way, the rest of us can, too.
I wonder sometimes if it could ever be possible for one of us to love someone truly who wasn't part of our 'circle.' I mean, love is about shared experiences, common bonds, two people sharing their lives together. I see some boy on TV or at school and think, 'wow, he's hot,' but can I really see myself spending eternity with some hot boy? Thinking someone is cute is not love. Love is like what I have with my friends, but deeper. Just last week, I spent the night over at Rei's house. Usagi and her family were on vacation and Ami and Makoto made excuses not to come over. (Now I know why!) Rei and I just spent the whole night talking, doing each other's hair, watching TV and reading together. We even went out for a walk in the garden underneath the stars. I remember standing there next to her and thinking that I could spend my entire life just like that. I think that's love.
None of this solves the problem though. I'm not even sure there is a problem. I'll just have to talk to Ami and Makoto about it directly. Besides, once the cat is out of the bag there's no way to get it back into the stable! Then, I can tease them non-stop! It serves them right for being so kawaii!