Bad Haruka! Setsuna Puts On A Show
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One evening, while Michiru was in the kitchen doing the relentless dishes that I refused to do, I was bored out of my mind. This was not particularly abnormal, but it wasn't much fun. I was starting to feel a bit neglected. No one was talking to me. "Sweeeeeetiiiiiiiiiiie!" I called. "Are you almost done with the dishes yet?"
Michiru's reply was not sunny-happy. "No!" She sounded stressed.
I shut up, but soon decided to bother someone else. "Hey, Setsuna? What's going on?" The omnipotent time god was sitting across from me on the sofa.
"Reading."
"Reading what?"
"Book."
"Is it any good?"
Grunt.
I threw myself back against my chair. "Quiet. Much too quiet in here."
Silence from the guardian of the underworld.
Sighing, I picked myself up from my chair and headed into the kitchen. Michiru had her arms plunged elbow deep into soapy water, scrubbing viciously at an offending pan. I'd rarely seen her so intense. It made me feel rather hot. I decided that she needed some entertainment of sorts for her hard work. But what could I do? Take off all my clothes and burst into the kitchen naked? Hmm...enticing, but not bound to be well received at the moment. Best to at least wait until she was done with the dishes. In the meantime I decided to see if we had any popcorn buried deep in the forbidden cupboard. Why is it forbidden? Because if you sneak in there for snacks before dinner, Michiru hits you on the hand with whatever is in her reach, as Hotaru and I found out well one night when she was living with us. Thus, I was very stealthy as I opened the cupboard door and reached my arm in to sort through the delicious goodies.
I shoved aside all the sweet things, looking for popcorn. Throwing stealth to the wind, I asked, "Michiru, do we have popcorn?"
She was still distracted. "If we have it, it'll be up there."
"Mm." I reached to the very back of the cupboard, sticking my tongue out slightly. "I think...I've...found...it!" My hand came in contact with the box of microwave popcorn at the moment my eyes fell on something else. A bottle of Amaretto. "Michi...why do we have...?" I closed my mouth and narrowed my eyes, grinning. "We have Coke, don't we?"
"In the fridge, love...." Michiru gave her pan a vicious scrub.
I lifted out the popcorn, and then the bottle of alcohol, keeping it out of the sight range of Michiru. I then got out three glasses and a couple of Cokes. I started to pour the soda into the glasses, only I put a good deal of the Amaretto in one of them. After hiding the alcohol, I left one of the glasses on the counter for Michiru. "Here, love. I poured you a Coke."
She brushed a hand over her forehead, and blew air out. "Whew. Thank you, Ruka." Now that she was done with the dishes, she would be in a much better mood. "I'll be out in a little bit."
I smiled and carried the other two glasses out to the front room. I could practically feel the devil horns growing out of my blonde hair. "Oh, Setsuuuuuuuuuuna!"
She looked up at me, one eyebrow raised. "What's that?"
I held out one of the glasses of Coke. "I brought you a drink. I thought you might be thirsty."
She smiled at me. "Thanks." She took a sip and made a slight face. "What is this, Haruka?"
"It's...um...Cherry Coke. You like?" I smiled winningly.
She took another sip. "It's really good. I am terribly thirsty too." She started to drink it rapidly.
"There's plenty more, if you want more when you're done with that." I chuckled. That ought to make her more interesting to watch. "Plenty..."
~*~
In another hour, Michiru and I sat on the couch, both of us watching Setsuna, who was having a laugh attack. Michiru had come out of the kitchen to find Setsuna snickering over a picture in her book, which turned out to be about the planets. She was pointing at a picture of one of Saturn's moons and laughing hysterically. "Look at it! It's so funny!"
"Er...do you think so, honey?" Michiru asked.
"Yes!" Setsuna laughed, and buried her head against the pages of the book.
Now she was sprawled on her back on the carpet, cackling. I could hardly hold back my laughter. Setsuna looked up at us, after taking another long drink of 'Cherry Coke'. "So, Ruka, there was this guy...and he...and he...walked off a bridge...and he...DIED!" She cracked up and rolled over onto her stomach.
Michiru lifted an eyebrow. "That's pretty horrible, Setsuna..."
"I don't know...I think it's pretty funny." I leaned back my head and started to laugh.
Michiru glared at me. "What did you do to her?"
I grinned. "Why do you always assume it was me?" I stood up and tugged on Setsuna's hand. "I have a great idea. Why don't we put on a nice show for Michiru? She worked hard in the kitchen all evening, and I know she would love it if we gave her some entertainment."
"Yes!" laughed Setsuna.
Michiru hopped up too, and helped pull Setsuna to her feet. "She's obviously not herself!"
I took Michiru's hands and settled her back on the couch. "Now, don't worry about Setsuna. I'm looking after her. Besides, she wants to put on a show for you."
"She can't walk straight!" Michiru argued. Just as she noted, Setsuna was walking around, still giggling, bumping into pieces of furniture. "You want to go to bed, right?" Michiru coaxed.
Setsuna turned, ran, and threw herself into Michiru's arms. "Nooooooooo!" she laughed. "It's time to dance!"
Michiru patted Setsuna’s head. "Haruka…"
I just shrugged. "Beats me!"
Setsuna released Michiru and pranced (as well as she could) over to the stereo where she turned it on full blast. She hopped up on the coffee table and started to sing and dance along with the music, her drink in one hand. The funny thing was, it was one of Michiru's classical music CDs, so Setsuna was bopping around to Mozart, singing nonsense words about candy, Michiru, and death.
I looked at Michiru. "A very interesting combination."
"What did you do to her?" Michiru asked again. She glared at Setsuna's Coke and pulled it out of our dancing princess’s hand. I reached out to grab it first, but I was too slow. Michiru sipped it and looked at me suspiciously. "This is not Coke. It tastes like Cherry Coke, but it's stronger."
"Well...I found this bottle in the cupboard..."
She glared. "What was it?"
I gritted my teeth and gave her a hopeful smile. "Amaretto. I put it in her Coke. And she had several. Although, I never expected her to be this nutty…a little went a long way, I guess."
Michiru slapped her forehead. "Haruka, she'll kill you once she sleeps this off. This may be amusing for now, but she'll be in dire straits tomorrow. And who's going to be there with her?"
"Me?" I offered.
She smiled. "That's right! You. And it may not be pretty, I'll warn you now."
I waved my hand impatiently. "Yes, yes...she'll be fine. Don't worry. If she needs anything I'll get it for her. But can't we just enjoy this?"
"Honestly, it's not that funny. No! Put that down! Bad Setsuna!" Michiru jumped up as Setsuna started to fuss with one of her crystal kittens, making it dance. Meanwhile, the doorbell rang. "Oh, wonderful!" Michiru cried. "Just what we need! Naughty Suna! Don't toss that!"
With the traditional anime sweatdrop, I went to the door. As soon as I opened it, I was confronted by the Inners. I jumped slightly. "Oh…hi. What brings you guys here?"
"We came to see you," said Makoto with a smile.
Little Chibi-Usa was with them too. "We went to the park, and I wanted to come visit Puu. Can she play?"
I started to laugh. "Puu? Well, Puu’s a little busy right now."
I then heard a crash from behind us, and a shriek from Michiru. "SETSUNA!" Wild laughter followed.
"What was that crash?" asked Ami.
"Um..." I didn't know what to say. I had the feeling that Setsuna had just crashed into something large, although not large enough to knock herself unconscious.
"Are you having a party?" crowed Minako, trying to peer around me.
"Not exactly..."
Suddenly, Setsuna came plowing through, Michiru's large flowered Easter hat perched on her head. "Hi!!" She leapt at Usagi, who stumbled backwards, sending them both flying into the bushes.
Michiru appeared a minute later, her hair very messed up, and looking very frazzled. She froze when she saw the Inners, a smile plastered on her face. "Oh, hello! Welcome!" Michiru would never turn away company, even though our dearest friend was running amok, and it was my fault.
Ami watched as Setsuna pulled herself off a stunned Usagi and galloped back into the house. "Is Setsuna sick?"
Michiru looked ready to slap the heck out of someone. "Oh no, Haruka just thought it would be fun to get her drunk." She shot me a look.
As I looked at Ami, I knew she wanted to say something reprimanding, but she was too polite.
Rei smiled brightly. "Well, maybe we can help you. We’ll just keep her busy."
Usagi was peering around me. "What did she drink?"
"Don’t even think about it, Usa!" said Makoto. "Do you remember the time you drank all that ‘juice’ at the party at that old gentleman’s house?"
"I think we were in a tree during a lot of that party," I noted.
Michiru made a graceful gesture. "Please feel free to come in. We were just going to make some popcorn. Visit with us."
The Inners thanked us, and entered. I took the opportunity to take Michiru in my arms. "I'm sorry...I just thought it’d be fun. I was bored, all right?"
She glared at me. "But she loves you and trusts you."
I kissed Michiru’s forehead. "She knows how much I love her. Besides…aren’t you even the least little bit amused?"
We looked back into the house to witness Setsuna on the coffee table, singing show-tunes, with the Inners sitting around her, watching her in awe. Chibi-Usa was trying in vain to coax her down from the table. Michiru's lips turned up slightly. "All right, this is slightly funny."
"Besides, haven't you ever wondered what Setsuna would be like if she had a bit too much?"
Michiru covered her mouth and giggled. "I hope I’m not like that."
"Believe me, you’ve never been quite this drunk. But I’ll bet you’d be great fun. It’s always the quiet ones."
The Inners seemed to have a wonderful time watching Setsuna, who was delighted with the company and spent a lot of time cuddling up to everyone. Oddly enough, Usagi seemed to have the best effect on Setsuna. She had managed to get her off the coffee table and was now doing a very odd-looking waltz with her around the living room to the orchestra music that was playing. Setsuna was giggling so madly, she could hardly stand, and Usagi was just naturally giggly, but they were both completely cute. Even Michiru seemed to be getting a kick out of it. "Aren’t they cute?" I asked, snapping a picture of our darling and our moon princess dancing.
"They’re very cute…but do you think we can get all these people out of our house so we can go to bed?" She gave a half moan, half laugh, before sinking into a chair.
The girls and I managed to calm Setsuna down a bit with a game of Candy Land that I remember buying for Hotaru when she was tiny, but when Michiru started dosing off in her chair, I told the girls we had to be getting to bed.
"Awww…can’t they live here with us?" asked Setsuna, holding onto one of Usagi’s pigtails.
"Not if you want them to survive," I said, only partially joking.
Ami tugged on Minako’s arm. "We can’t stay here all night. You need to get to bed, Setsuna. You’ll feel better if you get some sleep."
Setsuna did look a bit wiped. "Well, okay." She made a motion to take off her shirt.
Michiru jumped awake. "What are you doing?"
"I have to take my clothes off to sleep, silly!" Setsuna said, and tried to raise her shirt again.
"What do you say we do this in your bedroom?" I lifted her into my arms. "Wave to your friends."
She gave everyone a silly grin and waved. "Byeeeeeee!" She then rested her head on my shoulder and went completely limp.
As I carried her into her bedroom and pulled her clothes off, I had one thought: "Note to self…never get Setsuna drunk again, for amusement purposes or other stupid reasons."
~*~
The next day, I kneeled behind Setsuna on the bathroom tiles, holding her tangled hair out of the way and patting her back as she prayed to the porcelain god. "I’m sorry, Setsuna…I didn’t think you would be this sick."
She raised her head slightly. "Haruka…if I had the strength to summon my Time Staff, you’d be spending the day at the Time Gates."
"Believe me, I’m scared of you. I’m sorry. What can I do to help?"
"You can…" she heaved and bent over again. I rubbed her back soothingly. She eventually gasped. "You can tell me what happened last night. I don’t remember a thing."
I smiled. "You just danced with Usagi a lot. And you sang too. Michiru is now convinced that you have musical talent."
"Mmm." She then turned her head to look at me, squinting in the light. "Who took my clothes off?"
"I did."
She turned and leaned her head against the toilet seat. "Fabulous."
I laughed. "Oh, you’re just faking that sarcasm. You’re glad it was me, face it," I said with my most seductive voice. I then stuck my tongue out and flicked her ear with it because I knew she hated it.
"Eww! Haruka!" She turned, gave me a weak swat, and leaned against me. "Bed, please."
"Yes, dear." As I lifted my hung-over little friend off the bathroom floor, I remembered her little performance and I realized I wouldn’t have done anything differently. It was the laugh of a lifetime.
Setsuna suddenly tensed. "Haruka…I’m gonna…"
"UGHH!"
Or on second thought……
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I can’t think of a thing to say to conclude this. lol I guess I’ll just let you know what’s coming up: Haruka looses her cool when Hotaru and Setsuna can’t get the snack they want. Sound ridiculous? Oh, it is, it is! Just another frustration in Haruka World. Hotaru cameo!
Thanks so much for the reviews! Until next time…
Lady Grizabella setsuna_haruka_michiru@yahoo.com
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