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One afternoon, when we should have been out looking for jobs, I was sprawled on my back on the sofa, listlessly watching the television. Setsuna was lying half on me, just as listless. Michiru was somewhere. She had already chewed us out for being lazy, and had promptly disappeared to another part of the house to read or do something she deemed more intelligent. That left us, staring at the TV.

Setsuna mumbled something. "What are we watching?" She was mostly passed out.

I rested a hand affectionately on her head. "Um…Jerry Springer. It’s a gruesome American show. I can’t believe people really act like this."

She studied the television for a minute. "I don’t think they do. I think they’re actors. It’s funny too, since it’s subtitled in Japanese and all. I haven’t seen so much subtitled profanity in a long time."

"Let’s just watch." I turned back to the television and zoned out.

Michiru eventually came into the room and stared at the screen. "What on earth are you watching? A bunch of half-naked Americans screaming at each other?"

I answered in a monotone. "Yes. It is funny." I was hypnotized.

"Yes. How funny it is," added Setsuna, her eyes unfocused.

Michiru rolled her eyes and left, muttering: "You are getting jobs."

Setsuna had managed to turn her head to look at Michiru. "Hmmm…" She sat up and leaned over so she could whisper in my ear. "Haruka…guess what?"

"What?"

She grinned. "I slept with your husband."

I gave her an amused look before changing it to one of shocked surprise. "How could you?!"

"He wants me, not you." She held back laughter.

I sat up. "What are you talking about? My husband loves me! Not you! You’re just a sleazy stripper, but I’m his wife! I have what he wants!" I stood up and whipped off my shirt, revealing my sports-bra. "With a body like this, why would he want your skanky body?" I gravitated and doubled over laughing silently.

"What’s going on out there?" Michiru called.

"Make this sound real," I muttered. I was tired of Michi’s go get’em mood.

Setsuna let out a dramatic scream. "How dare you! You’re wearing my underwear! Have you been in my trailer?" She put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a light shove.

"Yes, I’m wearing your underwear, and yes I’ve been in your trailer…with your WOMAN!"

Setsuna got in my face. "My woman? I’ll kill you, Haruka!"

"Yeah? Bring it on, shorty!" Setsuna was hardly short, but being shorter than I was, it was a suitable insult.

We could hear Michiru’s door open. "Honestly, what are you fighting about?"

"Shorty?! You’ll regret that!" With a quick glance towards the hallway, Setsuna pulled off her own shirt like those crazy women had done on the show. I almost passed out. Michiru was going to flip. I decided that deep down inside, Setsuna was a wild woman.

I started to yell random profanity as I tackled Setsuna. I lifted her off her feet and pretended to bodyslam her into the sofa just as Michiru walked into the room, unable to stand the noise anymore. She was met with two girls in their bras, and a whole lot of American profanity. Setsuna fell off the sofa and dragged me down to the ground where we rolled over each other a couple of times. Michiru screamed. "Haruka, NO! Get off her! You’ll kill her!"

I had Setsuna’s hair in my hand and I mimed pulling it. "She slept with my husband!"

Setsuna had her teeth on my arm. "She slept with my woman in my trailer, and she’s wearing MY underwear!"

I got to my feet and lifted Setsuna. I held her out at arm’s length and made a motion like I was going to slam her into the floor.

"NO!" screamed Michiru and grabbed onto my arm. "I’m sorry she slept with your husband, but you really shouldn’t fight! Setsuna, stop having adulterous affairs, and Haruka, take off Setsuna’s underwear and leave her woman out of this!!"

Setsuna and I looked at each other and dissolved in laughter. "Michi…"

"Do you know what you just said?" Setsuna let her head drop back and practically choked on her laughs, rare as they were.

Michiru looked utterly confused. "Wait a minute here…your husband?" She glared at the TV. "It’s that…program! You’re…arrrrg!" She stomped out of the room to collect herself in private.

I set Setsuna down on the sofa and had myself a good laugh. "Okay, that was worth it just to hear what Michiru said. I wouldn’t trade that for anything!"

Setsuna had pulled her shirt back on and was sitting quietly on the couch. "It was amusing."

~*~

Later that night, Michiru had outlawed Jerry Springer from her house entirely. Michiru claimed that the program was an awful influence for Setsuna. "I’m in the room…" she murmured.

Michiru smiled at her. "I’m sorry. I just love you like you’re my own child. I love you both. When I thought you were fighting…"

I grinned. "We never fight. What’s the use in fighting? We have enemies for that."

Michiru slid onto my lap. "I love you, Ruka."

I yawned dramatically. "I’m suddenly so sleepy."

Setsuna snorted.

I stood Michiru and then knelt in front of Setsuna, taking her hand. "Now, sweetie, someday when you find someone special, you may feel the need to…"

Setsuna leaned back and let her mouth fall open with a groan.

I took Michiru’s hands. "I’m taking you away to our trailer of bliss!"

Michiru giggled while Setsuna covered her ears and exclaimed loudly: "I can’t hear you!"

"Goodnight, sweetheart." I kissed Setsuna’s head and pulled Michiru down the hallway. "By the way, Michiru…I know you’ve been cheating on me..."

She laughed. "Bring it on, cute stuff!"

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