BEHIND THE MASK
Lonely Soldier
The sun was shining brightly in the sky, casting down rays of warmth. A
gentle breeze blew, sending strands of blonde hair wisping around a lone
figure. The long strands of blonde, almost white hair disappeared into a
silver mask. The sun glinted off the mask for a moment, but the figure moved
to the shade of a tree and it was gone.
Zechs leaned against the large tree, his eyes downcast in thought. Taking
in a deep breath, he let it out with a sigh. The sound of footsteps behind
him told him someone was coming. He knew who it was, and would tolerate her
company, though he had given specific orders to be left along.
“Zechs?” The woman called, walking a little bit closer to him. Zechs
turned and faced her. It was Lieutenant Noin, as he had expected. Somehow,
she always knew where to find him. He enjoyed her company, and she was one
of the few people he would actually call his friend.
“Yes Noin?” Zechs asked, looking at her with pale blue eyes which she
could not see. The mask let Zechs see out of it, but no one could see it.
His mask of shame has been worn since he was sixteen and would be worn for
the rest of his life.
“I just thought you could use some company.” Noin offered, smiling at
him. Her smile…was that what drew Zechs to her? He knew something was
different about her, and he also knew he shared a strong bond with the
woman. She was, perhaps, more than just his friend.
“Thank you Noin, but I wish to be alone right now.” He answered, turning
away from her to gaze at the lake to his right. It was a beautiful, clear
blue and it sparkled in the bright sun. He always came here to think.
Especially when he was troubled about something. He had always told himself
he would bring Noin here one day, but she had wandered to him on her own.
“Is something wrong Zechs?” Noin asked with concern, her eyes clearly
worried about him. He knew Noin was often worried about him. He did give her
a lot to worry about, especially when he was worried about something.
“It’s nothing. Nothing you could help me with, at least.” Zechs
responded, a sad tone to his voice. Without even looking at her, he knew she
was a little hurt. Noin had always been that way. She was sensitive, yet her
courage was enough to impress even the bravest of men.
“Alright. I’ll leave you alone, sir.” Noin turned to walk back to camp.
She had hoped to speak with Zechs, but he had made it apparent that he
didn’t want her company. Would she ever get to hear how he felt? He rarely
spoke about his feelings, and it sometimes hurt her pride.
“Do you ever wonder who you are?” The question shocked Noin. She didn’t
know what to say to him. Zechs never really got personal with her before,
and this question caught her off guard.
“What do you mean?” She asked while brushing a strand of her hair from
her face and pushing it to the side.
“Do you ever question who you are?” Zechs rephrased his question, still
looking out at the lake.
“Not really. I guess I’ve always known who I am.” Noin tried to answer
the best she could.
“Who do you think I am, Noin?” Zechs whispered, almost to where Noin
couldn’t hear him. Noin thought for a moment before answering.
“I think you’re a great general who can lead this world to peace. I think
you’re strong, brave, and courageous, and I know you will not rest until the
Canq Kingdom and the rest of the world is liberated from the people who try
to control it.” Noin smiled, finding her opinion very well worded.
“Then I suppose there is nothing for me to worry about then.” Zechs
muttered. Noin frowned slightly.
“What do you mean sir?” She asked, stepping towards him so she was right
next to him.
“I’ve always wondered who I am. Just who am I, anyways? I’ve spent my
entire life hiding behind this mask as a general. Does anyone even know the
real me? Do I even know?” Zechs let out a soft sigh.
“Zechs…” Noin whispered sympathetically. She never knew why he wore his
mask of shame, and definantly didn’t know he often wondered about who he
was.
“I’ve never really lived. My entire life has been lived with shame and
regret. I’ve been living a lie. Deceiving people and pretending to be
something I’m not.” Zechs lowered his head in shame.
“That’s not true Zechs!” Noin exclaimed. “You haven’t lied. You are a
great man and you’ve always been one. Why do you think so lowly of
yourself?”
“I have done nothing to deserve the title of a ‘great man.’ My hands are
tainted with the blood of thousands. The thousands I promised to lead safely
in and out of battle, the thousands I promised to protect. I have cause the
deaths of many brave and willing soldiers. And for what? Has it proved
anything? Am I a greater man because I sacrificed their lives to win?” Zechs
felt sorrow, anger, and sadness all at once. His emotions were being poured
out to the one person he trusted. To the one person he cared about.
“Those men did not die in vain. They didn’t die for you either. They died
for peace and freedom. It was as much their fight as it was yours. You can’t
blame yourself for that. Their families have not blamed you, and I know they
have not blamed you. Why torture yourself over this?” Noin was now standing
right in front of him so he could see her.
“Noin…” Zechs whispered her name to the wind. He stared down at her for a
moment. Sighing, he leaned his head back against the tree. “I do not deserve
to have your trust.”
“Yes you do Zechs. You are one of the few people who does.” Noin looked
up at him, trying to see behind his mask.
“It’s because of my eyes.” Zechs spoke softly to her.
“What?” Noin asked, a little puzzled.
“The mask.” He answered. “People are afraid of my eyes. It scares them,
because they say they can see through them as if they were ice. Ice cold,
like a killer’s heart.” Zechs uttered the last words in shame.
Noin slowly reached her hands up towards the mask. Zechs was surprised
when she touched it and began to pull it off. Closing his eyes slowly, he
let her remove his mask of shame. Once the silver object, which had blocked
her view of his face for so long, was removed, she simply dropped it onto
the ground. Noin placed a gentle hand on his face, encouraging him to open
his eyes for her.
He did as she wanted. Zechs slowly opened his eyes and Noin stared into
their endless depths. The icy blue color seemed to reflect his emotions as
they peered out from behind strands of blonde. He was more beautiful than
she could have ever imagined. His bangs fell into his face, causing his
ice-blue eyes to give him a sort of fallen angel look.
“I’m not afraid Zechs.” She told him in a soft whisper. “I think you
have beautiful eyes.” For a moment, they stared at each other. His icy blue
eyes stared down at her as she seemed to inch closer to him. Zechs slid his
arms around her and she wrapped him in her embrace.
In one sweet moment, their lips met and their eyes closed. A feeling of
longing came over them and their kiss deepened. They seemed to be lost in
their own world, and their hands hungrily searched the other’s figure.
Pulling away for air, both looked at each other longingly. They knew this
was right, and they knew it was meant to be.
“I’m sorry I never told you..” Zechs whispered. Noin smiled.
“Told me what?.” She asked with interest.
“Just how much you mean to me.” He didn’t give her time to answer.
Instead, their lips met again in a sweet kiss. Zechs felt his will to hide
himself from her melt away. He pulled her to him and there they remained in
each other’s arms for a few more hours and well on into the night.
~
Lonely Soldier
