Okay, I'm kinda stealing Killraven's thunder, cept for two things. 1) I 
started writing this a long time before hers went up, so I didn't steal the 
oh-so-original-anyway idea. 2) I took a completely different take on Zechs. 
So there! ^_~ Before I start I will once again praise Killraven for her fic, 
which was awesome, and now present my "version." The song is Ghost Story, by 
Sting off the album Brand New Day. Enjoy you all! And please reply.

AN: For once I think I have avoided sap while being satisfactory to the 6x9 
shippers. So here it is, only the second songfic I have ever done, from 
Zechs' point of view set between the series and E.W. Please forgive any 
dates or events errors, I wrote most of this over a span of months, in half 
hour bits right before sleeping. You all know what it can do to a story. >.< 
Anywayz, enjoy and remember all comments criticisms are greatly appreciated. 

Ghost Story

I watch the western sky
The sun is sinking
The geese are flying south
It sets me thinking.

I've been a fool. And I was too blind to know it until now. The regret 
crashes down on me in wave after wave, a nauseating rhythm. Regret for all 
my mistakes, all my shortcomings. Although during the war I was too caught 
up to think I'd done anything wrong. I was always fighting for someone 
else's ideals. Treize's, Quinze's. The Lightning Count's. Never mine. So 
that adds another charge to the list: I've also been a coward. I hid from my 
sister, I watched her suffer. I had to hide my bloodstained hands from her, 
behind that wretched mask. What an excuse. It sounds so tired on my tongue 
now, as I yell it to the expanse of trees around me. The sound of my own 
voice. Its so irrelevant. At least now. Once there were people who hung on 
my every word. And one of them actually listened. Her face forms in the 
flames of my small fire. Not smiling. She went through too much to ever 
want to smile. I wonder where she is now. Maybe she is even smiling, now 
that the hard times are over. The face hovering in the fire contorts as I 
close my eyes. Her smile. I can barely think. 

I did not miss you much
I did not suffer
What did not kill me
Just made me tougher.

Thankfully the fire crackles and I can open my eyes again. What is this 
I feel when I think of her, that renders me so immovable? I almost feel 
helpless. Sad. It is not that stupid, child's love I dared to feel for her 
in the past. It must be regret again. I cover my face, elbows on my knees. 
The last time I saw her I.... Oh gods. I almost killed her. Another wave of 
nausea hits me. I think my stomach wants to eat itself, and then the rest of 
me. I don't blame it. And Noin would probably want to shoot me if she 
somehow saw me again. After I was so cold, so evil even... I don't have to 
worry though. I'm never going to see her again. No, I think I'll just live 
out my life here in some nameless corner of Cinq. It's fitting. I once 
belonged in this kingdom as a prince, now I only belong as a refugee. So be 
it. It is an existence. There is no one to be forced to kill, no one to 
kill me here. So I can live, tempered by the war, alone. Just alone. Yet 
the word hardly begins to describe the situation.

I feel the winter come
His icy sinews
Now in the firelight
The case continues.

It's not just that I nearly died falling through the atmosphere that 
makes me so alone. It's not the fact that no one knows I'm alive. It's that 
I drove them all away; with my words and my actions. It is my own fault. 
The words hiss at me from the surrounding trees, rain down from the sky and 
smoke from the fire. Its light glares at me like a judge on a stand. I must 
own up, confess everything to my campsite court. I can just imagine the 
pitiful testimony. Yes, your honor, I admit. I sentenced my best friend to 
death, I nearly killed my sister for trying to bring me to my senses, and I 
almost destroyed Noin in one shot. Who was she? A friend, a comrade in 
arms, a confidante, and so many more things I cannot place. My teeth grind 
as I grip the ground in front of my fiery accuser. The soft soil is cool 
under my tense fingers, I can feel my pulse through the pressure. A pulse, 
just the tiniest movement to keep a man alive. So little an action to make 
it stop. How many times have I nearly died? And how many times did I die?
Once, on earth, at Treize's command. That killed the vengeance vow of 
Zechs Marquise, Lightning Count. Twice, when Libra was completed, destroying 
the pacifist prince Milliardo Peacecraft. A cold winter on earth, and an 
even colder time in space.

Another night in court
The same old trial
The same old questions asked
The same denial. 

So who lives now? In all truth I have no name for myself. Who am I 
then? For without a name there is no knowing. I am not Milliardo, the name 
drowns in the blood of its kills. I deny it, and the heavy ideals borne upon 
it. And Zechs, the revenge driven warrior with no past or future? Never can 
I pick up the slimy title again. Besides, I have a past. A past in which I 
ravaged my surroundings, rejected all those close to me, then cheated a 
deserved death to live out this future: One of contemplation of myself and my 
lonely days to come. There. My history and my future, disown them as I may. 
Yet the concept draws my eyelids shut in weariness. Why? Have I really 
sentenced myself to this much? I clutch my forehead like a madman warding 
off stray voices in his head. Deny, deny.... Repent, repent. Voiceless, yet 
screeching spirits surround my head. They leer and me, flicker as the wind 
shifts in my hair, bringing smoke into my face. The spirits transfigure with 
a sting of smoke and tears in my eyes, and suddenly I see them.

What was I missing then?
That whole December
I give my usual lie
I don't remember.

They do not speak, eyes closed and tranquil. Suspended, as if waiting 
for a spark, a command from my memory to make them move in a replica of what 
was. Four of them. Treize, never to move in an earthly realm again. My 
dear Relena, seemingly slumbering, dreaming of a world where her ideals are 
true. Quinze, perhaps dead by now, waving a glorious victory banner in his 
mind. And Noin, closed lids possibly blinking back tears. They all ask one 
question, without words. /Why?/ I rub the smoke in my eyes, and the faces 
flicker out like the end of a transmission. Over and out. Farewell. I may 
never see any of them again, except as suspended beings of a tired mind. 
Simply because I hurt them. They know it; I know it. The war hurt us all. 
There is your answer, you haunts! My own voice startles me, with all the 
images in my head I forget the silence of my ramshackle camp.
They appear again. /Why?/ This time the lips move, out of sync with a 
cracked chorus of voices across the trees. Why what?! I scream back. They 
let one face do the talking. Noin opens her dark eyes, peering out at me 
across time and space. The voice is still disjoint with her moving lips, and 
still I have no answer to her question. Strange, it doesn't even sound like 
her.
/Libra, Quinze, Peacemillion, Epyon --Why, Zechs?-- One, two, three, 
four, five, six shots fired. Six of your best friend's warriors dead. 
Seven, eight, nine. A glancing blow to Wing Zero -- Why, Zechs?--/ With only 
the starry sky above me as a backdrop to her face, she stands and waits. 
Waits, while my hands clench, bile rises and scenes explode in my memory; all 
intermingled with her voice. More, more; Leos explode /Why, Zechs?/ My best 
friend dies, a soldier weeps /Why, Zechs?/ Earth shudders under shooting 
stars /Why, Zechs? Why? Why?/ Noin no longer pleads a response, only taunts 
me with a question I cannot answer to her. She must never know my answer.

Another winter comes
His icy fingers creep
Into these bones of mine
These memories never sleep.
And all these differences

Stiffly I lay down by the fire and close my eyes. But instead of sleep, 
more violent images of my past bear down upon me. Never will I be free from 
them. There is no one else for them to taunt. The blame is entirely mine. 
In any other case, there is room forgiveness, but not in mine. Maybe I did 
too much, maybe no one will forgive me. But however it turns out, the only 
forgiving to me done is by me, of myself. And I can't. I just can't. I 
think of them and become nauseous at how much I put them through. The damn 
spirits about my head seem to speak like a superior, always taunting and 
correcting, pointing out enough to make me feel stupid. /You don't forgive 
yourself in the place of them not forgiving you./ Not true! I whine, like a 
small child. Treize would forgive me, he understood the depth of the war, 
but I don't want him to. He was my friend, I did him wrong. Relena could 
forgive a brother gone crazy, but she already must forgive the hate and 
wrongdoings of her own people. Noin, she.... she wouldn't forgive me. My 
mental superior is correct. She would only ask me why. A question I can't 
answer, not truly. Not after sharing so much with her, as the best of 
friends and most steadfast of comrades, after the favors done and secrets 
kept. 

A cloak I borrowed
We kept our distances
Why should it follow that
I must have loved you?

She hid me from myself like a fugitive, or a madman escaping his prison. 
And the next day it was back to working for the top, side by side but still 
apart. Perfect soldier decorum, never too close for safety and never too far 
for comfort. Words for each occasion, whatever could happen. I have helped 
her, she I. Yet she never came too close, no matter how much I wished she 
would. She knew more about me than any other person alive. I knew all of 
her past. It was even, trust and trust. And soon I started to see something 
more in her, that I tried to deny. And when it came to Libra and Epyon and 
the final battle, I felt I had to protect her. Close to me was dangerous. 
So I ran from her. And when she tried to stop me, pull me back, I somehow 
thought she would get hurt even more than me. I should have known I could 
only insult her and hurt her pride by saying that. And when I went crazy, 
trying to keep her away was dangerous. I always had trouble with 
underestimating Noin's loyalties and how far she would go for any conviction. 
And even when she held me to ease my fears and settle my thoughts, she 
didn't know my one loyalty was to her. 

What us the force that binds the stars?
I wore this mask to hide my scars
What is the power that pulls the tide?
Never could find a place to hide

Space had always called to her, and the war in it was no matter. She 
only wanted to be in the wideness, the emptiness where no one could stake a 
claim and take prisoners. Space pulled me for different reasons. I knew 
space was where glory hid, for those willing to take it. But when I made the 
mistake of Epyon, space became a place waiting for an all out massacre to me. 
And earth became the evil one, going furtively about in its horrible deeds. 
So the one needed a war, the other needed to die. Stuck between, I chose to 
step from myself. God, even on Libra I wore a mask. A mask so not to see 
what went on right in front of me that should have changed me, and another 
mask to hide how much I had done wrong, all the still-fresh scars and names 
from past killings. Funny, I hid my past while creating even more bloody 
times to add to it. And when I was done, I ran like hell. No place to hide.

What moves the earth around the sun? 
What could I do but run and run and run?
Afraid to love, afraid to fail
A mast without a sail

I was afraid. Wreaking havoc only brings out one's weaknesses. What 
else was there for me to do but run? After I almost destroyed Noin, I saw 
how dangerous it was, what I felt for her. Either one of us could get killed 
any day. If I made one wrong move, I could have died. One bit of Zero 
system in the right place, and she'd have been dead too. I was deathly 
afraid. Those closest to me were in danger. So I sought to put them away 
from me, doing things I never really meant to do.

The moon's a fingernail
And slowly sinking
Another day begins
And now I'm thinking

I saw my own weaknesses and ran. I feared my feelings for another person 
because they could get killed. I drove away those close to me thinking they 
would be out of danger. And I blame myself for all of it – wait, that's not 
right... I cannot forgive myself for my own deeds, and so I am forever 
condemned... Oh god. My temples throb as I look to the fire once again, the 
flames burning into my memory this painful admission to myself. I need them 
to forgive me. I need it or I'll just go on endlessly, pointlessly. How can 
I deny it any longer? Treize, I hope you forgive me, because I am forever 
your friend. Relena, kin hardly means anything now that I have shed so much 
blood, but your heart is pure, please take my apology.
Noin, I....
My eyes close and an alien smile reaches my lips. What's the use of 
dictating to a shabby campsite what should be said to a person? One person. 
Noin. I must say this to her. I need her forgiveness in order to live. 
Would she understand that? Not until I explained why. And it's because I 
love her. God, how I love her. My smile doesn't seem so alien. Her face, 
her voice, enough to make me happy forever.

That this indifference
Was my invention
When everything I did
Sought your attention

Her drive, enough to make me number one, her hope enough to drive me to 
tears. Her determination was enough to make me hope. And loving her made me 
determined. Everything I did was because of her. She helped me, healed me. 
I detest now even thinking of how I treated her, so coldly, as if she had 
ever done anything wrong.

You were my compass star
You were my measure
You were a pirate's map
Of buried treasure

I always knew she was right. About battles, about the war as a whole. 
About Cinq, and the Gundam pilots. She had a sense for these things, the 
same way she had a sense for outer space. Always she reached out for the 
right things, making the right allies and being strong to see the entire 
thing through. The statistics said I was number one, but I learned from the 
best. And my best friend. The true winner in me.

If this was all correct
The last thing I'd expect
The prosecution rests
It's time that I confessed

The winner of my heart..... Your honor, I can explain Noin now. She was 
my friend, my comrade, and the woman I love. Your honor, I have to find her. 
She doesn't know. You cannot sentence me to death just yet, not until she 
knows.

I must have loved you
She must know.
I must have loved you.