Pain-Filled Eyes
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Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Or any of the characters. If I did don't you think I'd have a better
comp?
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He was here again. Looking for her. He sighed as he saw the Preventer building, glinting in the light of the setting sun. He knew Noin was inside. He wished he could be there with her, but he couldn’t, every time he had come into her life he had caused her only trouble. She would dismiss it, tell him that he wasn’t forcing her to do anything she wouldn’t readily do. He looked back at the building. He would always attempt to get a glimpse of her. Any time he could. Face it, he told himself you can’t live without her.
* * *
Noin leaned her head back against the padding of her seat. She felt the warmth of the sun as the window of her office allowed its light inside. She shivered, even with the sunlight she felt cold. She missed him, ever since he had left again. She remembered that day; his eyes had been so dark, he had apologized, he had told her how sorry he was for coming into her life. She had tried to understand, to wait for him, but it had been so long. She sighed as images of the plantinum-blond haired Peacecraft flooded her mind. In her sadness her fingers instinctively wrapped around the pendant on her neck, her last link to Zechs Merquise.
“Zechs…” she whispered to the air, remembering the icy blue eyes that had held so much pain.
* * *
Zechs hesitantly stepped out of the elevator. Yes, this was her floor, he felt it. He made his way down the hall stopping in front of a wood door with a small plaque. His hand moved towards the handle but he stopped it. He heard a muffled sob from the other side of the door. His hand moved towards the handle again, he had the instinctive reaction to embrace her, to stroke her hair, tell her not to cry. He moved away from the door. No, not again. He wouldn’t let her suffer because of his weakness ever again. He mentally cursed himself, what if she was to see him now. He’d never be able to leave, not if he heard her voice. He quickly made his way to the elevator and out of the building.
“I’m sorry…” he mumbled.
* * *
The man moved away from the corner, wiping the sweat from his brow. The blond haired stranger had not seen him, good. He placed the last explosive on the ceiling of the hallway. Quickly he punched in the access code and the explosive beeped to life.
“Time to die Preventers.” he chuckled as he ran towards the elevators. “In 2 minutes there will be nothing left.”
* * *
Zechs stared up at the Preventer building again, the sunlight now almost gone. His thoughts drifted to Noin. She had always been there, always encouraging him, helping him but he knew he couldn’t keep taking. He had to go, he saw how innocent she was, he wouldn’t corrupt her with his sins. Suddenly a loud noise forced him to look back up and he felt his legs collapse under him as the building became enveloped in fire.
* * *
He sighed again, his eyes traveled along the floor to the occupant of the hospital bed. He traced her face with his eyes, how helpless and frail she looked now. Her, the strong one, she had always been strong, stronger than him. Yet now, she lay clinging to life. He stared at her, watching as her chest heaved up and down slightly with each strangled breath.
“Help me, Noin.” he heard himself whisper. “Help me.”
He heard the door open, a doctor, he decided. Not noticing he continued to stare at the lifeless body in the bed.
“Miliardo?” he heard a familiar voice ask.
“Relena.” he answered, not taking his eyes off Noin.
“You really do love her…” Relena whispered half to herself.
“I failed her Relena.” he replied closing his eyes. “I failed her.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Relena stated, trying to calm her brother.
He sighed. “It was. If I hadn’t been so… spineless… She wouldn’t…” He gestured to the bed. “She wouldn’t be like this.”
The door opened again as a man in a dark suit stepped in.
“Miss Relena…” he called to her. “You are needed.”
“I understand.” she replied casting a glance at her brother. The door opened and closed again and he was alone again.
Zechs closed his eyes, remembering the Academy.
He twisted his mobile suit to the left, dodging another attack from the black Leo. His long platinum-blond hair covered his eyes for a second. He activated the jets of his green Leo landing behind the other suit. He slashed towards the Leo. His opponent was fast, Zechs barely dodged another slice which had come from his right. He ducked another slice, but suddenly he felt himself jerk as the Leo fell to the ground, tripped by the enemy. The other Leo raised its saber, and held it up.
‘Why?’ Zechs thought.
Zechs rolled his Leo out of the way as the other’s lightsaber came down. He came up and slashed towards the other Leo, his lightsaber cleaved through the suit without any problem. The cockpit auto-ejected and Zechs ran towards the ejected cockpit eager to know who his opponent was, his face went wide with surprise when he reached the figure dusting itself off. The crowd watching the battle roared as the loudspeakers blared with news of the battle.
“The winner! Zechs Merquise! Second place goes to Lucrezia Noin!”
“Noin… you could have… no, you should have won!” exclaimed Zechs.
“I know. Zechs, I wanted you to win.” replied Noin as she walked away leaving a dumbfounded Zechs behind.
He cursed himself. His weakness. His sins. He loved her, there was no escaping that, he had known that for a long time. He couldn’t tell her, of course not, he was a murderer, a killer. She was an angel, innocent, light-hearted and pure. She hadn’t deserved this, he should have been the one in the blast, not her. She still cared about him. Why? It was different in the Academy, before all this, it had been possible. Now, it was impossible for him to have a normal life, the demons of the past constantly clawed at his heart, his own sins, always coming back to haunt him. He punched the small coffee table in disgust.
“DAMMIT!”
He pulled his chair up closer to her, grasping her hand in his own. It was cold, almost as cold as death. No, he wouldn’t let her die, never. He brought his other hand over hers.
“Noin.” he whispered, hoping she would hear. “I don’t know if my being here will bring you back. But… I’m here Noin.”
His head dropped down and his lips met her forehead. He stroked her hair with his free hand, knocking away the bangs from her closed eyes. He noticed the pendant on her neck. He had given that to her so long ago…
Zechs sat on the edge of his academy bed. He sighed. He was leaving the academy in less than an hour. He chuckled to himself it was a bittersweet chuckle.
‘Image that, a Peacecraft, fighting, fighting and killing.’ he thought in disgrace. ‘I wonder what my father would think of me.’
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Come in.” he calmly stated permission.
“Hi.” came the voice of Noin as she made her way into his quarters.
“Noin…” Zechs hadn’t expected her.
“Zechs, listen, we’re both leaving and well… I came to say good bye.”
“Noin, why are you in the academy? You hate wars.” Zechs sighed.
“Well… I guess I just love space.” replied Noin as she made her way towards the bedside on which sat the masked youth.
“I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t fight.” grunted Zechs as he punched his pillow in helplessness.
“Zechs, you have to follow your heart. Its not important what others tell you. Its what your heart tells you.” replied Noin trying to soothe her mysterious friend.
“Noin, you’re my best friend. Perhaps my only friend. I want you to know… I’ll never forget you Noin.”
“Zechs…” Noin started, and stopped, not knowing what to say.
Their moment was suddenly interrupted.
“Will all students on the Victoria Base Assignment please report to the airfield at this time.” came the voice of the Commandant over the loudspeaker.
“Well…” Noin chuckled. “That’s me. We’ll meet again Zechs.”
“Wait, Noin.” he whispered, drawing a small box from his drawer. “I want you to have this. So you never forget me.”
Noin opened the box, taking a small gold pendant out from its depths. “Zechs, I could never forget you.”
“Take it Noin and… Good luck.” he sighed.
“Goodbye.”
The words hung in the air as if a fog as Noin made her way out of her friend’s quarters.
“Open your eyes Noin. Please… open your eyes.” he cried, tears building up in his eyes.
He pulled his hand away from her hair as he stared at her face. Everything he had done. A crystalline drop found her hand.
“Am I… crying?” he asked the air. Bowing his head between his knees.
Suddenly a cold hand brushed his cheek. He looked up.
“Noin…” he whispered as a slight smile greeted him.
“Zechs…” she returned blinking away a tear of joy.
He looked away. “I’m sorry. I failed you.”
“I have no regrets Zechs.”
He drew her into a quick embrace and stared into her eyes. Unwillingly he felt his lips settle over hers, as he drew back he heard her whisper.
“I love you Zechs.”
He smiled as the words he had wanted to say for so long spilled from his mouth, his eyes sparkled, a bit of pain disappearing from their icy blue depths.
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