Session Start: Sat Feb 12 16:03:00 2000 *** Now talking in #MST *** Topic is 'MSTing of Mike Rhea 7:15pm!.' *** Set by Hotaru on Sat Feb 12 15:57:44 Hey Tyd *** Stormwalker has quit IRC (Leaving.) Take a bulletin, a copy of the fic and listen to the chorus as they sing, "Chew it Up Yum Hiyah Tyd hi Hehehe... Keener: heh we are Tyd and Battle * KaraOhki wants some Fish Heads! * Ryo needs a copy of the fic... *** Stormwalker has joined #MST Join the collective, BattleTyd? copy? where? Kara: Heh, you would... oops, wrong button nope have Tyd over to visit We'll feed it in here... * MageOhki leaps on top of Stormwalker's Head and begins to sing "Chew it up Yum!" * KaraOhki is sending Five minutes till the MSTing begins. Five minutes. * Apollo_Racer plops a bucket of fish heads down in front of Kara what do we need? Kara: So is Fido. Thanks, both. Okay... time to pull my copy off of RAAC You forgot the 'hear ye, hear ye' part Meg... ANYONE NOT NEKID, PLEASE RECTIFY SAID SITUATION!!! ...oh wait... wrong chat heh * KaraOhki thwaps Keener with a carrot Zoogz: Sorry, I'm new at this. ;P lol oh my How are we differentiating Rhea from us? Meg: heh * Ryo mallets Keener. "HENTAI!!!" >>'s? kara, please send me a copy, my setting wipe out old messages. Hot: most of us can write, that's how... ^_^ * Keener reforms... Mallets, why's it have to be... mallets... :-P Keener, I used a carrot! what do you need? :) heh heh... fic? Just remember this is for humor and fun, no author bashing if we can avoid it ok Anybody want my samich? It's beef patty and solient green What music to play... what music to play... As much as you might like to... Keener: Well, plushies don't do much damage and my sword would be overkill... the story is bad enough on its own without going after Mike That was done earlier :) * BattleTyd turns off author basing switch Why does my font look different here than in #fanfic? Ryo, did you get a copy from anyone? Racer: you have to set your font need copy where find? Tyd: Great, now we don't have to worry about basing the author. ;P * Zoogz lets Fido and Kara take care of copies... on the way, Tyd Can we baste him? GOD... Borland C++ eats THAT much room? kara:i got him * Diese has a copy but is afraid to read it a second time... :) Kara: Yes. Both you and Fido were nice and sent me copies. I thank the both of you. got it (Again.) Nobody wants the tasty treat? Made from people... or so I've heard tell * MageOhki sings (Still on top of Stormy's head) "Smite Smite Smite" * Zoogz hands Mage his kareoke machine * Stormwalker looks up. "Glad I ain't wearing a cover. * MageOhki sings along with the "Hit * Fido shoots the kareoke machine full of holes err... * Hotaru sings Devo. Fido: save the ammo for the fic... ^_^ .me sings along with "Whip It" By Devo. *** KaraOhki is now known as Karaoke I got plenty:) When a fic comes along, you must whip it * Karaoke sings ~I'm a man with a mission... a boy with a gun... ~ eek! Wrong song. This is 'Big Mess'. Ah... clarify next time... ^_^ eek! eek! eek! :) Okie day * Ryo prefers Depeche Mode herself... * Zoogz finds a copy of 'The Devil Went Down to Jamaica' o/~someone send me a carrot..../o *** Karaoke is now known as KaraOhki * Apollo_Racer rushes out of the room and brings in the popcorn cart I still think Pikachu, ever time I hear "Peak A Boo" * Fido sends a carrot * BattleTyd gives a carrot to Kara * MageOhki hops on Stormy's shoulder, then leaps to Ryo's heh, you really hate my singing, I guess Keener: Heh, me too! ;P What about MY singing? And I think of Sam Catch'em from Dick Tracy when I hear Ash Catch'em. ;P fido only reacts if it's karaoke Don't quit your day job :) Kara, has anyone ever DCC'd you a carrot? not yet, Thomas Well, none of you are Tom Jones... and we thank you I'll have to do that one night. * KaraOhki cries Diese: I CAN play keyboards VERY well thank you. um, sorry to be off topic, but who was it that flamed ADV on RAAM? Mage: You talked about SIGNING! Ken. Okay, are we ready to MST everybody!!! *Ahem!* hrmm Diese: On the other hand... singing *shudder* * Thomas nods Nope, just this fic almost * Apollo_Racer sets up a table and fills some bowls with popcorn. Andomade? Yup. Keener: D'oh! ;P POPCORN'S READY! As ready as much as we could ever be, I suppose. Smite the Fic, SMite the Fic! Okay, here we go... *AHEM!!!!!!*:) ARE WE READY TO RUUUUMBLEEE???!!! Sure Bring it on. I can take it. Shhhhhh... it's on Yaayy! i lost it * KaraOhki is ready Let's dance I won't cry. *** Hotaru changes topic to 'MSTing of Mike Rhea NOW!!!.' Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] The Surprise Announcement Are we ready? * MageOhki extends claws Whoops, sorry * Thomas shudders one sec we are ready * KaraOhki grins ...redy... go for it >Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] The Surprise Announcement someone send it to me again *HISSS* ok, sending So we actually started now? Surpise bad.. Yeah It's my birthday so could somebody blow me out? We need a copy of the fic? heh Surprise! I made another fanfic! Sure, Mike. We ARE MSTing now right? Yes (We have started now, riff only from this point on please.) *ahem* mage;YES! Three guesses as to what the announcement is about, and the first two doesn't count. Just as soon as I find those missing explosives... MIKE RHEA MST, TAKE 1 Well, I'm a man, trapped in a girls body, trapped in a Rhea fic... DISCLAIMER:None of these characters are mine,and no copyright infringement is intended. Yeah, right. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. but you went on ahead and did it anyway..you idiot! they make good pavement Well... Mike, let's hope Takashai doesn't see this... otherwise, get a lawyer. And walked by the righteous. And intentions are the mother of all nessicity... Tom: The following fanfic has been written by Mike Rhea and contains scenes of Ukyou being excessively praised by Ranma and coarse grammar. Viewer, Parental, and Akane Lovers Discretion is advised. Don't say we didn't warn you *** Gary has joined #MST Crow: A suspension of belief is highly recommended Should we have expected anything but? *** Fido sets mode: +o Gary Sorry I'm late. Would someone please send me the fic?> sending Thanks. To the lawyers: I will gladly give over all profits from this fic if sued Hey Gary! what profits? Kara: Got it from Fido. It's okay, we just started, we can start again * KaraOhki didn't get any of the profits He had to PAY us to read it, much less MST it... Hi Gary Wait...I'm getting paid to read this? okay, from the top, here we go.... .DISCLAIMER:None of these characters are mine,and no copyright infringement is intended. *Drum Roll* With Cabbits in the background Puu! * Thomas plays the opening theme music Miyah! (Cabbit for B***S***!) I don't have a copy sending * Ryo sighs. "All those who lack a copy, raise your hand. Paw. Whatever." Flipper? appendage What would we even need a copy for? We'll see it pasted right here. Mage, Kara: That's covered in whatever. (Okay, are we all ready yet? Let's get all ready before we start then) Thomas: Good question. ready! Ready. Is everybody ready? Ready. Otherwise there's just confusion on your mark. Yuo. Please, for gods sake, once we start, *DON'T* say anything not part of the MSTing. get set ready Miya! MST! And riffs only, please... makes it easier for editing riffs? does anyone need to go to the bathroom before we start? LOL If you have a question, take it in #fanfic - most clients can be in two channels at once. PLUSHIE! Mage: Jokes Are we there yet, Dad? :) PikaOhki wanders in to watch the chaos ronny:good idea Okay, here we go, this time for real. From here on in, riffs ONLY please. :) * BattleTyd hands pikaohki a carrot * Ryo starts throwing randomly chosen plushies at random targets. (Randomly, of course.) ryo:one more plushie throw and you are out of here... :) Fido: Sorry...it's that caffine and sugar takeing effect. .>DISCLAIMER: None of these characters are mine,and no copyright infringement is intended. MIYAH!( Bull****) The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Yeah, right. It never is. But I get to manipulate them any way I want! intention make good paving stones I hate to think what would happen if he DID own them... infringment no, insults, yes. The following fanfic has been written by Mike Rhea and contains scenes of Ukyou being excessively praised by Ranma and coarse grammar. Viewer, Parental, and Akane Lovers Discretion is advised. A suspension of belief is highly recommended So don't say you weren't warned! Coarse grammar? NOOOOOOOO! Required unless MSTing... whoo! Ukyo being praised by Ranma? This IS a darkfic. .>None of these characters are mine,and no copyright infringement is intended. Didn't we conver this already? (sorry, sorry) We heard him the first time next! (next line....) heh He stutters? Figures. .>This fic contains some sexual dialogue;but nothing serious. It was repeated for sarcastic purposes. Any occurance of "shaft, mighty spatula, ohhhh baby or thrust his purple headed warrior into her quivering mound of luv puddin"... should be taken as attempts at levity and not a desperate cry for help One of those comedy lemons, then? A grope here, a cheap feel there, no big deal. well, he has THAT pserious part right. SWEEETO! Great...fake lemon flavoring. Otherwise known as "Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am"... What did we do to deserve this? Damn! Not even Key Lime pie. nothing serious: like plot, grammer... The Surprise Announcement... now with great lemony scent! Is that the Surprise announcement? Ok, onto the story. Don't you mean cheap lemony scent? Coz a scent is all you'll get! Key Lime pie has more filling, and more lemon scent... .As with many of my fics,I came up with this fic while at work;though this fic was inspired by at least 2 other fics(by other authors). Mike has a JOB? That's a frightening thought. What do you suppose he does? Not writing, hopefully. What with the nuclear plant not really at critical or nothing... I figured what the hey? MMMmmmMMMmmm Ukyo in a waffle iron.... Yes, exspect this one to have nothing but unadulterated praise for the Ranma/Akane relationship while condeming that vile shrew Ukyou Kuonji! Clean phones. If he designs bridges, I hope I never have to drive over one of them. I pity the two autnors who inspired this fic. What? You want names? Aw, geez....Look, just search the entire RAAC archive, they're in there somewhere.... Nah, based on this fic, he's not quaified to clean phones janitor for a toxic waste dump maybe an undertaker? Not like this took all that much time out of his work. "Enterprized" and "9 1/2 Chipmunks"... I owe all my inspiration to them! He's a newspaper editor Kara: Washington Times? School newspaper, perhaps. Kara: Weekly World News? Not. .This is my first attempt at a darkfic,so please be gentle. we won't~ * KaraOhki turns on the floodlights As gentle as the average darkfic? Sure! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Aren't we always? What's 'gentle'? A gentle soothing touch of 'A Surprise Announcement'... Bwhahaha, Us? Be Gentle? right, gentle... that means no whips, right? Put that spiked loufa DOWN, I tell you!!! STorm, at least with spikes... . "The Surprise Announcement"(A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic),by Mike Rhea Not much of a surprise, by this time. Great... Wait a minute. This is a RHEA fic? (looks for the exit) that should be a warining flag right there. Surprise! It's got Ukyo in it! Doesn't look like a title for a darkfic, ne? The surprise anouncement is I've been a huge Akane Fanboy all this time! Starship mode... blows big holes to let the fleeing readers esacpe... I think he should change his first name to Dyah. Surprise: and no Kodachi either. run away! Soon to be (A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfic),by Hell Freez Over .******************************************************************** Oh, how the stars shine tonight! ohhh...snow! oooh, Snow!!! At the dawning of time, during a failed attempt to create fire, three sticks were piled on top of each other....and thus the scene change was born! More like photon torpedoes shooting at the fic Isn't that only supposed to be THREE *? You know, if that was in the Antarctic, it'd be millions of years old. extra umph! * KaraOhki thought it was a line of tribbles trying to EAT the fic He figured it would be better if there were more. Maybe it's a scene change pretending to be a line. If it was in the Antarctic, I wouldn't have dug it up. But, since it's Mike Rhea, He had to cover up this fic. The tribbles starved. Those are the smallest Jigglypuffs known to man. And hoped the extra * would hide the quaitly. And if they don't get ya, the story will .Akane,Nabiki,Kasumi,Souun,Genma,Happousai,Tsubasa, and Konatsu were all gathered the Tendou Doujou. ryo:to tell the truth..I'd rather read this than perhaps he stubbed his toe and had to bleep out that line. The stars add to the fic, where it lacks in content hopefully evening things out. So ummm, where does he want this Dojo? Don't know... just keep gathering Missed a spot. A little HELP here?!? The pizza boxes were ripped and torn by this time, sauce flying everywhere... Comments. That's a loong list... ....have walked off the set in a huff, leaving plenty of time and space to devote to writing about Ranma and Ukyou's romance! Dopey, Sneezy and Doc had to wait outside. Where are the SPACES? Said dojo was soon to be demolished No, they were all gathered BY the Tendo Dojo. * KaraOhki blinks. Is there a space famine? They went on strike they want more recognition Mage: they went on strikje for better conditions Humm, two errors in this line alone. * KaraOhki lends Mike a box of spaces (If you count the lack of spaces as one.) Only two, Mage? You really are being gentle! Warming up... I figure that there are plenty more to harp on. .They were all trying to make sense of a crisis that had struck them all at the same time. Menopause "OH MY GODS, WE'RE IN A MIKE RHEA FIC!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!" We're in a Rhea Rant... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH... Ricky!!! How they got stuck in this fic and how to get the hell out. being in this fic? I didn't know they ever bothered making sense of things... We're all STUCK TOGETHER with no spaces! Terminator: come with me if you want to leave Our Agents Failed US!!! ...maybe they're having an orgy? Alright, Daddy, stop that crying! We have to keep our wits together here! Here's what we're gonna do....Mike only cares about writing eww Ranma and Ukyou in love so chances are, we're just the window dressing here. Just relax and limp along and before you know it, the fanfic is over! removes her elbow from Tsubasa's ear Unfortunately it didn't kill them so they all still have to do the rest of this fic But I don't wanna be the window dressing! Oh, suck it up, Father. Isn't that what Nabiki usually does? Sorry, sorry. .It had been 4 months since another verbal confrontation between Ranma and Akane blew Nodoka Saotome's patience. You're unmanly, son! And you too, Akane! Now, who's next? Nodako's brief medical carreer was sadly cut short... Ummm, wife of the patient, huh? Well... Ummmm... he blew up... uh... sorry. Hotaru: Yes, but she's busy killing Mike. And eight months since the lemon in which onna-Ranma blew all of Dr. Tofu's patients. :) and all her fuses too. Ah, their words are nothing but hot air. More sexual innuendo. Mike's really ecchi. The confrontation came to a head. Akane holding her hammer, Nodoka holding the katana... * Zoogz whistles 'High Noon' ...and Ranma in the middle. Doesn't Mike understand that a paragraph is allowed to have more than one sentence? Nodoka losing her cool? Humm... she's able to be calm when fallng off a cliff... Gary: No. patience:OHHH! verbal, you are sooo goood!:) .That fateful day(about 2 weeks after the failed wedding),she severely criticized both Akane's brutal treatment of Ranma and her lack of domestic skills. Your a SLOVENLY housekeeper... and you call that oral sex? What kinda domestic slave ARE you?!? aeiou and sometimes y (pronounce it!) Brutal treatment of Ranma is one thing, but how the heck do you stop a lack of domestic skills? That fateful day lasted for two weeks? "Akane, why can't you hit Ranma with a spatula like a good wfie would?" It's not my fault Emily Post won't return my calls! Heh Emily's dead, Soun What, you can't get Ranma interesting in S&M? It's more like this! Get farther down on your knees! .Additionally,she berated both her own husband and Mr.Tendou for not only condoning it,but also failing to stop it. Okay, that's so OOC for Nodoka, I'm going to shake my head in shame. Genma! Why didn't you stop Akane's poor domestic skills! Leaving underwear all over the place, not forcing yourself on the weaker sex... it's a disgrace, you call yourself a MAN... And you didn't stop her from cooking, I'm lucky my son's still alive. Wouldn't it be a more effective presentation if we actually SAW these scenes, rather than have them recapped? Last time on 'A Surprise Announcement'... And let's not even get into the severe lack of group sex here... Gary: Thank god they were only recapped. gary:you WANT to see more of a rhea fic?!?! Gary, you want the fic to be larger? * KaraOhki flattens Gary with her carrots spare us! .Immediately following that outburst,Nodoka not only stormed out of the doujou in the direction of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki(carrying a couple of backpacks),but also took Ranma with her. No, I just don't want it to suck as much. I know it's not the IHOP, but you gotta make do... But, I love Shampoo! Mommmmm.... Shut up and take it like a man! of course she would never go to the Cat Cafe. ranma:Allright! LUNCH! Rhea's Ukyou reminds me of ET. So Nodoka would rather storm from the dojo rather than the house? Now, Ukyo's been very nice and is going to allow us to have orgy's at her place... Hot: what short, speaks bad and is annoying as hell? but moooom! I want some lunch! But MOm... Ukyo's is the OTHER way! You're taking us to the love shack again. No, can heal the sick and is generally a substitute for Jesus. We can ask that nice Shampoo girl to lend a dress or three to Ukyou. Genma, since you didn't prodive for Ranma's training in how to please women, I must correct for this... I'll Hire Ukyo. After that, Nodoka, Ranma, and Ukyo were seen heading into one of those 'special' hotels... .Not only have those 2 been missing since;but also,to further complicate the matter,Ukyou has also been missing. SKULLY! This is it... an aquatransexual, a psycho retro dominated mother with a katanna walk into a resturaunt owned by a transvestite with a massive cooking utensil and... ummm, on second though, nevermind... it's pretty far fetched. Now, Ranma... don't make me get the katana! Ranma yearned to be 3 of responsibilty and have wild 6 with all the cute girls at his school 4 the rest of his young life.... Probably they're at some love hotel, having wild group sex. And also suspiciously, the fic has changed tense. They'll all be 9! Oh yes, they'll all be 9! A madly giggling Kodachi was seen leaving the scene... Hardly suspicious in a Rhea fic. but strange screaming and moaning sounds were heard from the vicinity of Tomobiki LIke this, Son, slow and long... He throws over tenses like used women. Scully, we're being called to Nerima to investigate 3 disappearances .In fact,Konatsu has been very suspicious about the matter;since on that fateful day,just hours after both Nodoka and Ranma arrived at the okonomiyaki-ya,Ukyou informed the drag-queen ninja that he would no longer be needed anymore. Kara: 4, you musent forget the Pig-Tailed girl. VD Oh, WHAT could it be, what could it be. Anybody get the feeling the author isn't too fond of transvestites Me. I think Rhea must be modelling these guy's intelligence after his own. Would Ukyo just tell Konsatu to get lost? "I no longer need your 8-incher, Konatsu, I have RANMA!" Bummer. Can I least have severance pay? Go get raped for all I care! Better yet, rape Akane and change her life! more likly anyone who is close to Ukyo No! Now get out before Mike makes me even more OOC! * KaraOhki is confused...if Nodoka got mad and stormed out, how did Ukyo know hours in advance to fire Konatsu? She had a vision? another example of St. Ukyo!!!! and if you open a competing restraunt I'll be forced to kill you. It was all a setup. Kara: It came to her in a dream! ;P I must... must fire the transvestite... wait... that's me... must fire the OTHER transvestite NOdoka and Ukyo had it all planned from the get gio Here's the money I promised Konsatu, for slipping the drug into Nodoka's food. Sorry, Kon-chan, but you'll only get in the way of our wild orgies. .The following day;Ranma,Ukyou,and Nodoka all suddenly vanished. * Hotaru shoots Akane's dog and steals her Bible. It's like they were never there... A suspicious looking UFO was seen lurking in the area. SPACES PLEASE. He's stuttering again. Following day Multiple disaperance err, ? They got abducted by the aliens again. They escaped the fic! Call out the Gaurds! It must be terribly hard for Mike to write this one-handed. The day after that, Ukyo's and Nodoka's bodies were found in the canal. Ranma was last seen stoned into oblivion in Bogota in the company of a purple-haired woman and her great-great grandmother. no spaces, and a semicolon that doesn't belong if that's sudden, then I'm a welsh corgi Personal foul! Unnecessary semicolons, fifteen yards! Woah, man, colors...yeah, like mom and Ukyo were just like standing in the way...Mistress Shampoo showed me the TRUTH, man! * KaraOhki feeds Stormwalker a dog biscuit Very Roswell... but can an alien and an okonamiyaki chef really make sweet luve? Without podlings? (I admit, I got those last two riffs from Talen. ;P) Why is mike typing this one handed? Or, do we WANT to know? No, we don't want to know, Mage. Ignore my ovipositor.. this won't hurt a bit. Mage: We don't... TRUST me... *** DC-afk has joined #MST please, no probe this time Though some real lemon bits might very much improve this... *** DC-afk is now known as Dc Or at least make it bigger. *** Dc is now known as DC .A sign at the door of the restaurant stated that the owner was "on vacation indefinitely. Mike Rhea and James Robert Bader bring you an epic like no other! Well, that's that. It's like they just dropped off the face of the Earth.... epic what? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahaha hhahaha... haha... heh... To find the missing quote mark I think Mike's mental faculties are on vacation indefinitely. ? Yeah. Think that girl with the mallet was withholding information In other words, find another restraunt. Translation: "We're off having wild group sex. Don't exspect us to return anytime soon." Good, let's go get some ramen and go home However the passer bys didn't bevlive this, due to the strange noises from the bluiding... I don't know. I don't think I want to know. For once, I agree, let's go home. *** Gary has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer.) Heh. Peer got fed up too. :) Peer 1, Gary 0 Peer should do a few riffs... Meg: split the next one up some *** Gary has joined #MST Zoogz: Nods WB GAry ."It wasn't until a couple of days later when Konatsu informed the Tendous that the three were together the night prior to the sudden disappearance(and has taken up temporary residence at the Tendous' since) Ukyou: Come on peer! Reset me damnit!:) Boy, you can cut the tenses with a knife! Does that rule out incest, or not? DAMN, that's a long sign. Even Genma's aren't that verbose. Crow: Don't you mean 'tension'? He waited that long? Nope. I mean Mike messed up his tenses again. in Akane's room, strangley enough the three are staying at the Tendo's? Then why are they missing? Rhea uses the parenthesis like an erotic lick up the thigh by a 4-year-old girl. x_x * KaraOhki realizes that Ukyo, Ranma and Nodoka have become - gasp - invisible! Get these Perverts out of here... they aren't letting me join in... What was he doing, sleeping with every single prostitute who'd have him? .;though Akane had been suspicious about it since the day after Nodoka's outburst,when she noticed that both Ranma and Ukyou were absent from their classes. Ranma..? Ranma..? Ranma..? Ranma Saotome..? anyone..? anyone... Ranma? Absent..? Ukyou..? Ukyou..? Ukyou..? Tom: Shock! Joel: Horror! Crow: Lame. Akane noticing something? yawn Going once, twice, sold! And people say Akane is oblivious as a rock. Lovely... Ranma and Ukyo, gone at the same time? Could something be wrong? ... Nawww, couldn't be. heh No matter how long and convoluted your sentences are, you *still* generally need more than one to make a paragraph, Mike. Akane, suspicious. Ukyo wouldn't go with Ranma, She wouldn't cheat on me... What next? Ranma likeing being a girl? I know, they went to that valley of Moxa rocks again. Y'know, I just realized... Rhea made his title deliberately ironic! .Tsubasa,on the other hand,wasn't aware of the crisis until last week. Somewhere, all by it's lonesome... a lonely pine... scrathes it's nether regions... ...Huh? Yeah, he was too busy chewing bubblegum. he was too busy working on the Bubblegum Crisis. I'm in Nerima? Gods, I'm getting as bad as Ryouga with getting lost. Poor Tsubasa... instead of looking like a tree, he's got the intelligence of one... .Though they were also similarly concerned,Cologne and Shampoo opted to stay out of this. Didn't Tsubasa give up on Ukyo anyway and chase after Akane? So... ummm... you wanna bang the duck? Sigh... might as well... This was because Tsubasa was off in Juuban having wild sex with the Sailor Senshi. "We no care who Ranma have sex with! Would be too IC if did!" eww But, Great Grandmother! Shampoo love Ranma! Because their supply of drugs was all bought up... Thanks, Amazons! Quiet, child! No good can possibly come out of this fic for us! We must be patient and wait until the end beckons.... I don't despise them like I do the others, so I wrote them out. Well, Ranma's gone. Let's go after Genma. But Great-Grandmother! Shampoo must give Rhea kiss of death! Yeah, I'm getting sick of this scene anyway. What scene? We haven't had an actual scene yet. They'd mess up my nice wrapped up ending! Why include them? You'd have to stand in line. Think Idiot Panda will go for wild group sex? .Hiroshi,Daisuke,Yuka,Sayuri,and Miyo were all similarly concerned also. cologne:Would you REALLY want to kiss Rhea?... Gosh, I'm so concerned... so ummmm, Sayuri... you ever do it with a secondary character? THey realized who was writing this, and wanted no part of it. So all similarly concerned, in fact, that that's the last you'll see of them in this fic. Who the heck is Miyo? shampoo:Nevermind..not worth it. Beats me, Gary Concerned about being in this tripe. Vampire Princess? Oh wait, that's Miyu.... Miko Mido? Does Mike have to include *every single character* in these recollections? Let's flee, while the fleeing is good... gary: At least she hasn't been around before, so she can't be OOC! miyah? Another run-on sentince. Miyo is his own annoying new character. It's a La Blue Ukyou crossover! Tenchi Miyo! oh no run for you lives! Well, still no mention of Kodachi. .On the other hand,the Kunou siblings,Tatewaki and Kodachi,were up to their usual assumptions:that the pig-tailed goddess and "Ranma-sama" were kidnapped and enslaved by the "evil sorcerer" Ranma and "the pig-tailed harlot,"respectively. Their father however, was convinced that it was all a gift from the Great Pinapple... who came once a year, to kidnapp all the bad little boys and transvestites... You were saying, Storm? spoke too soon Storm What, Stormwalker, you think I can't afford to PAY Mike to be out of this? No! Stay good, Dachi, stay good! doh. So, the Great Pineapple is a giant bigot? ...and were having wild group sex without them. Save for the lack of spaces, that paragraph is pretty descent. Nono, Rhea hates incest fics. Ey, da Kahuna don' care how dey dress, 'long as dey hair gettin' cut. He's said. Translation: You're stumped for a riff? Uh, er, well...yeah. too true Listen in awe to the RECAP of 'The Surprise Announcement'! Zoogz: Stop the hurting, stop the hurting. Aaawww... Why? Last time in Mike Rhea's little world.... Just you wait, the worst is yet to come. If you think this has been bad, you ain't seen nothing yet! *** Anand has joined #MST .Mousse,however,was probably the least concerned about Ranma's and Ukyou's disappearance,since he knew that Shampoo wasn't with them. The very fact that the paragraph is in this fic makes it indecent. She's mine... all MINE! WAHAHAHAHAH Owiee... hurts... so... good... Rhea's Ranma universe is a snowglobe being watched by some autistic kid... After all, this ain't 'Purple Haired Destiny'! So... one character is at least *close* to IC... "Hurts sooo good" I hope Shampoo never finds them...I buried them behind the Nekohanten well that's stretching it YES!!! NOW I CAN HAVE WILD GROUP SEX WITH SHAMPOO AND THAT CUTE DUCK ACROSS THE STREET!!! Well, benefit of the doubt and all... Would have given you kiss of marriage if I knew you were that Limber... (talking to a statue) I'm glad you stayed with me Shampoo. .A couple of minutes later,the mail had arrived.It was a postcard from Ryouga,and Akane was the first to read it.What she read was not encouraging: oh oh Ranma, Ukyo and I are okay Ran from bad fic Please stop fic Dear Akane. Well, I've done it again. That quick trip to the corner gorcery store somehow turned into a harsh trek into the Australian Outback. To make matters worse, this weird guy with a jeep keeps following me and demanding to see the size of my knife! I don't even have a knife! And don't even get me started about the oversized bandicoot with the megaphone....Boy, I wish I was back home! Oh well, give me a month or three and we'll see. Sincerely, Ryouga. Ryoga knows how to write? O_o Ryoga managed to find a mailbox? That's a telegram, Keener Where's the front desk Gary... I was hoping for pause after Mail... not my fault ^_- 2 feet to the RIGHT, NO THE OTHER RIGHT You're not supposed to prepare these jokes ahead of time, y'know. :) NOT THAT RIGHT! Ha ha ha ha... You're stuck here!! Gary: heh, only a few minutes ahead. ^_- .Ryouga had sighted Ranma and Ukyou together(holding hands,in fact)entering a couples-only hot spring near Beppu just a couple of weeks ago(when the eternal lost boy mailed the postcard). Have escaped. Want to join me and f*** each other's brain's out? kid reminds me of that pig that came through here last week You know, there IS such a thing as too MUCH detail.... you bet your Beppu! Mike's timeline is off. *Passes out from nosebleed seeing what Mike could only dream about* Mike's reality is off. Now to mail this postcard about something I haven't seen yet and OH MY GOD! I WAS right! They ARE going into a couples only hot spring... holding hands! Oh my, this really is a lemon! Has anyone search&replaced Ranma's name with Mike's yet? So this is the sexual innuendo? How empty... I don't see why Ryoga just didn't attack Ranma like he normally does. nah, Mike does that for himself I was SOOOO angry, I just had to write about it. Zoogz: I've been added what I can... How embarrasing it would be if he sent them out without pasting Ranma's name over his own. .Everyone that was present at the Tendou residence desperately hoped that the info that they got from Ryouga was false. You can't HANDLE the truth... Yeah, after all, Ryouga has such a track record for lying. And Akane doesn't trust him at *all*. Now if you get mad enough at Ranma, dear Akane, you`ll see that I`m the better man‚ It was false. He was actually in Shikoku. Meg, stealing from Talen again? Ranma has chosen, FInally the Pigtail girl and Akane are Mine!!!! it wasn't a spring, it was a love hotel. Kara: Just a little bit, he had some good jokes in his C&C. ;P And they weren't holding hands, they were... What do you mean, 'hoped that it was false'? We're partying! Figured no point letting them go to waste *** Stormwalker has quit IRC (Ping timeout.) Meg: does he get a credit for this? ^_^ * Hotaru is still waiting for the surprise announcement. Sean, give it up. Strom's one of the lucky ones. surprise! there isn't one Zoogz: He will if we end up posting this. ;P Strom = Storm MEg: We're NOT? It was pretty obvious what it was going to be when we learned it was a Rhea fic. *** Stormwalker has joined #MST .Just a few moments later,someone knocked on the door. Candygram Knock knock. Land Shark Avon calling! who's there? Ooo...how dark! Seppuku Strip-o-gram Finally! After half the fic taken up by exposition, the SCENE has arrived! Seppuku who? Ataru Moroboshi. Door to door seppuku? We would like a few moments to tell you about our God. Seppuku the moron invented knock knock jokes! heh Amce sales repestaive. Victoria's secret delivery Oh, happy day! would you like to buy a flower? hare krishna! hare rama! hare krishna! Have you considered the positive value of letting the Church of Ucchan into YOUR life? FInally they are here! Now I can go whip Tofu. This is Japan. It's Nodoka's secret. Who ordered the 50 mallets? .Is anybody home,"inquired a familiar voice. AHHHHHHH!!! SALEMAN!!! NO! And we're not in the kitchen with the oil and potato fritters, thats for DAMN sure! DAD! You promised! I'm just sooo weak. When is this fic going to turn dark, pray tell? Kimiko, I thought you were dead!!! It's Monty Hall! Hey, that name's not canon. Neither is this fic. * KaraOhki shoots Gary with a cannon Gary: THIS Isn't canon... Don't make me kick you, Gazza. What we're DOING to it, is more like Cannon FIRE, mind you... :-PP .The entire Tendou family,as well as Genma,got very nervous upon hearing the familiar voice of Nodoka Saotome Got paranoid? Awww MAN... she's going to be all kranky again... the other people there, however, were quite calm... but with a masculine air... must have found that naniichuan Can we come in and have wild group sex with you? never knew you could do that with a spatula She's going to want me to perform again, and again, I can't keep it up all night like she wants... Damn, I thought it was the Dominos deliveryman One thing I'll say for Mike... never makes you wonder who's present. She has her new automatic katana... fires up to 30 blades a minute. Not again! We're still recovering from the last time we did that! .She promptly entered the doujou;and was followed by Ranma,Ukyou(who not only was holding hands with Ranma and wearing a dress instead of her usual boy-like okonomiyaki seller's clothing, Genam:oh shit..I'm dead. But she was cute NO MATTER WHAT SHE WAS WEARING!! So, she's wearing sleeves for a change? ARRRRGH!!! ;P And ranma was wearing.... nothing, and enjoying it. Ranma was wearing a dress? Oh, wow Rana, I didn't know you were so well hung! Why isn't Ranma wearing the dress? After all that work we did to conivce Nodoka that he thought he was a girl. Ukyo in a dress? as in not wearing pants? She was not only doing that, but also... what? I wonder if Ranma's wearing a dress too... and think, the sentence is NOT complete yet! BT: or undies either, remember who wrote this. .but also had a slightly protuberant abdomen that was of serious concern to the Tendous as well as the drag queens) *Pout* Now all my planning to have my love slave is shot... My son? Well, it'd be your grandson... if I was the father... and if it wasn't an alien brood... sigh... You got any pepto bismal? Or maybe Roto Rooter? So Genma and Happosai are drag queens now? ?_? She got fat! Oh no! We need some Slim-Fast, stat! Ukyo got fat. what the... Oh my! Ukyou's really packed on the pounds so that's where all of Uchans proffits went... into her stomach * KaraOhki looks up the number for Jenny Craig Soun;That is the worst case of Gas I have ever seen.. "Drag queens." I just love it when the omniscient narrator is impartial. Ranma, you said you'd get me preggy first! OK, second that, I regret my question. kasumi:Umm..father..:) I taught Ranma how to be a real woman, and let her fatten up my new 'son'! Damm there goes that Calandar shoot for the "Girls Of Nerima '99" .,and an old bearded man in an okonomiyaki sellers's uniform who was actually Ukyou's dad. duh! He made his fortune posing for troll dolls. Who's that? I am not!!! Yay! The sentence ends! Hey, you're not my dad! You're Santa and had several scars from their recent reunioun Santa Clause. To bad the fic doesn't Genma, dear, let's retreat with Ukyo's father and have wild group sex. As played by Brian Blessed. No Ukyo, *I* am your father. Acutally it's an actor we hired... Eww, Dad, you stink. Haven't you washed that thing since I saw you ten years ago? NOOOOOOOO!!!! Actually, we had to dig him up... THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! *** Gary has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer.) Spatula's made of light? And now, a cameo by one of the members of ZZTop she's got legs! Use the force Ukyo, end this fic now. Peer 2, Gary 0 Light Spatulas! Comign from a Shaper Ucchans near you And possibly also the father of Ukyo's child. *** DC has quit IRC (Leaving.) *** Gary has joined #MST wb .Akane could have called Ranma a jerk on the spot,but didn't because she had lost Nodoka's respect and support(and as a direct result,was now powerless). Weakening... blacking out... losing power... Nodoka... too strong... must have kyrponite... brazier on... got to find... ... SPOCK! Maybe there's supposed to be spaces after commas?....naw. *** Hotaru sets mode: +o Gary help me! help me! The moral? Thou shall not mess with thy potental Mother-in-law. I have the power! Mwahahaha! She's powerless now! Because I say so! damn, shoulda used energizers Just like she was completely powerless before she even MET Nodoka, oh yes. by the power of Grayskull! That never stopped me Before. RANMA NO BAKA! What about OUR CHILD? This isn't a fic, it's a thesis. Grayskull Towler? He's a much better writer. but yes! I still have the mallet o' chi that every other terrible fic writer has given me! That's a reason not to call the jerk a jerk? He promised he'd impregnate me first, d*****. but one touch of my cooking and she'll be powerless too. Akane:i used to be powerful, now after losing the Nodako I'm help less.. Don't let this happen to you "Attention,everyone,"said Nodoka."We have a very important announcement.I'll now leave it to Ranma and Ukyou." It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to oops sensing diabolical laughter soon ."Attention,everyone,"said Nodoka."We have a very important announcement.I'll now leave it to Ranma and Ukyou." "And that, Mrs. Saotome, is how we know Ranma-honey's clitoris to be banana-shaped!" Anybody wanna buy a kid? Dirt cheap? Your SELLING a human child? No, a kid... there was some unfortuanate accidents at the Spring of Drowned Billy Goat Gruff. Ewwwwwwe... Exactly. Well, everyone, as you may have noticed, my belly is swelling and you know what that means.... Hasn't that man ever seen a pregnant woman? A first pregnancy does NOT show at less than 3 months. you've been eating beans? Yep, it means Ukyou is FAT! That's right! She's let herself go and she couldn't care less who knows it! And starting tomorrow, I'll be joining her by eating nothing but deep fried cheese and bacon greese until I'm just as pudgy as she is! Ranma:We are now in a Muke Rhea fic. Panic! err Mike muke? Oh, I thought Nuke. Well, I'll get the beer. I'm pregnant, and I don't have a single idea who the father is! yeah that's right NUKE MIKE! While Ran-chan was getting cured, I fell in the Spring of Drowned Contrivance... Nuke Muke mike..same thing!;) ."First of all,with the blessing of both her dad and my mom,Ucchan and I wed 3 weeks ago,"added Ranma. It was a beautifull wedding, I wore whi... is Ryouga around? Ahem... like I said, I wore white... lol Here is that fabled suprise part, by the way. Ranma's been replaced by a pod.. I wore the wedding dress... Don't I get some say in this? NO!!!! We thought we'd come back here and twist the knife. We're sadistic that way. Wow, Ranma and Ukyou getting married in a MIKE RHEA fic?!? WOAH?!?!? And we had the most fantastic orgy that night... Kara: And Ranma's blessing his luck. And the honeymoon's lasted ever since! Whoo hoo! *** BattleTyd is now known as BattlOhki Whoo! Meg: Well, he DID say it'd be a surprise. this isn't And this is a Surprise Announcement? * KaraOhki isn't surprised. I feel cheated! I am *SO* surprised. .Genma,Tsubasa,Konatsu,and the Tendous gasped in horror;but that was just the beginning of the unfortunate news that was being inflicted upon them. I knew it all along. :) The horror... the Horror... Kara: maybe the surprise is still comming. Spaces please? Boy, this IS a darkfic.... * Ryo wishes that the intentional sexual innuendo would turn up soon. oh my "It's really, really horrifying. Take my word." I'm so surprised I could puke.... all over Mike. inficted by the blunt end of a spatula/ I'm bored. Think I'll go upstairs and finish my homework * BattlOhki wonders how much blunt trama Akane could do to Mike after reading this "Second of all...,"added Ukyou."...since I lost my virginity to Ran-chan 3 1/2 months ago and have been sexually faithful to him since,I'm just over 3 months pregnant with our first child." ...not only that, but we're all stuck in a Mike Rhea fic! No more orgies!!! Yeah, And care for my child from Ryouga... And we're going to name it Michael Rhea Saotome! ."Second of all...,"added Ukyou."...since I lost my virginity to Ran-chan 3 1/2 months ago and have been sexually faithful to him since,I'm just over 3 months pregnant with our first child." She's two months pregnant with our second child and one with the third, we decided to skip the fourth though, aiming for the fifth in a week. we didn't need to hear this good, so does that mean I'm free to marry Tatewaki now? Sexually faithful? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is information we really didn't need to know. Now I am officially sickened...:) The PIGTAIL GIRL IS MINE!!! Since I'm usually so open with my feelings...I have no qualms telling you about this! definity definity did NOT want to know that! I just get teary when all the characters are matched up... Or at least, he THINKS I have been. But if Ranma ever gets sick or poor, I'm outta there faster than the dickens! Can we get Rhea arrested for his fics violating the Geneva convention? BTW, we agreed, after 3 months, that whole sexual faithfullness thing was off right? Heh heh, you KNOW it. What? And he told me he was a virgin when we had sex after the failed wedding! *WHAM* No, SHE isn't... SHe's mine. Ranma, on the other hand, stuck it in everything in sight. The real shocker is he changed to his girl form before getting her preggers. So? I'm five months pregnant! eww Unless you count that fling with Mr Yotsua, and then there was that time with Gendo Ikari... and the Dallas Cowboys... So? I'm seven months pregnant! ."Additionally...,"continued Nodoka as she turned in the direction of Akane."... So? I'm 7 months pregant. So? I'm nine months pregnant! I've already given birth. Sorry, Kodachi couldn't be here but she's in delivery right now You're a tomboy and Ranma hates you! Nyaah! Nyaah! Oh yeah? Well, I'm a whole year pregnant! So there! nodoka:If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? yes we would~! The body? Yeah, sure. :0 .I wasn't the intended target of Ukyou's attack at the failed wedding attempt,Akane.She was justifiably going after you,and I don't blame her one bit." So you better just WATCH your back! Yeah! So there! And now....I'M COME TO FINISH THE JOB. Yeah, I know...I shoulda been a better lover... But Hitting Ranchan was so much more FUNNNN! And he likes pain... Naah naah! after Akane's mallet flattens her. "Was I too harsh, dear?" *** khammel has joined #MST Hurt sooo good... So, Nodoka's become the Mike Rhea personal avatar... however her aim's worse than Mousses' so I'mve taken away all of her bombs. ."Lastly...,"added Mr.Kuonji."...though he wasn't present at the 'wedding,'Genma Saotome,despite stealing the dowry,helped make this marriage possible a dozen years ago. Actually, Ukyo saw Mike in the audience, and went after him, but she tripped over P-chan Give him a hand folks, remember... Mugging... Marriage... all start with M... a vowel, two constants and another vowel... how's that for destiny? Dad! It was TEN years ago. I KNEW we shouldn't have taken you out of the old folks home... Yes Ukyo, *I* am your Mother... So, if he's willing, we can retreat to that spare room you have here and have a nice orgy. Ukyo: NOOOOOO!!! Soun;So This is all genma's fault! Heh... I wonder what drugs they had to slip to Ranma to make him this docile... .Ranma may have been too young at the time;but not only has he since realized how he was raised by a gimp,but also wishes you hadn't inflicted that dirty deed upon both him and his eventual spouse." Nabiki: *Yawn* Uyko, The ten million yen for slipping the drugs into the food? * KaraOhki never noticed Genma's crutches before gimp? Why do I get the feeling Mike borrowed the Nodoka from 'Dark Family'? Heh... anyone for a few Pulp Fiction references? It's "person who is diasbled," okay? He was engaged as a zygote dirty deed? A gimp? does he wear black leather like the guy in Pulp Fiction too? disabled Holy Cheesy Drivel, Batman! Wow, we learn more about Genma every day! Gimp? You mean like Garth? Well consdiering Genma's usual state of cleanless? Any deed he does is dirty. There there, Genma, don't let the nasty woman scare you.. here you go... a doggy biscuit... now then... get in the box... get in... BOX! NOW! but the clean deed is forgiven ."Also...,"added Nodoka."...it's your fault that not only does Ukyou-san cross-dresses,but also that Ranma was too powerless to be a 'man among men' because you wrongly spoiled Akane. what? This is just to frigging stupid to even comment on. Not a problem Genma, I got Ranma to sign this marriage paper, and get it to the Clerks, a year ago. Soon, we'll learn about how he was born a woman, spent several years as Nodoka's female lover, and underwent transsexual surgery so he could marry Nodoka after her male lover got her preggers and skipped out. ??? You left Akane out of the fridge TOO LONG! YOU Spoiled her! I'm sooooooo confused. Just THIS one time, Ukyou needs to be honored by -san! But not the rest of the fic! It's true! It's all true! I *just* don't *know* what's *wrong* with *me*! Hey, are those mashed potatoes? So it's all Genma's fault? Spoiled Akane...is that like poached eggs? More like Ebola eggs. I hope SOMEONE comments on Nabiki joining in the crying fit... (to Genma) You deflowered my daughter? Everything is Genma's fault. that's all you need to know. Spoiled Akane? Akane... were YOU my daughter all along? No WONDER I was going about this all from the wrong side... come on, lets get you some fish sausage *** Meimi has joined #MST Akane, spoiled? Nah... She's pretty good in bed. So therefore, Tsubasa and Konatsu are wholly blamed for being cross-dressers... but Ukyou is excused on account of Genm. So therefore, Tsubasa and Konatsu are wholly blamed for being cross-dressers... but Ukyou is excused on account of Genma. .Now that he's re-trained with both me and Ukyou-san,not only is he now a true 'man among men, (sorry for the double) He just may....RULE THE WORLD!!!! HOotcha! Are they talking about Ukyou still? Gelded is the word, Nodoka. and oh is he a man. he's a woman amoung women! (which I've personally verified, by the way) The lesson? Hit your fiance with a spatula. Mallets just aren't manly enough. But he's a DEMON in the sack... aren't yah? Yes you are... YES you are... good son... And much better in bed then you, Genma dear. Actually, Konatsu didn't have a lot of choice, but in the Rheaverse, he is THE GREAT EVIL. Ranma: Damn straight!...*looks to ukyou* W..as that too loud dear?" He's a stud in need of ginsing I still wonder where Ranma's voice went to... maybe they dropped him into the Spring of Drowned Mime. .'I now hereby invalidate his engagements other than to the one he has now married." I have the POWER! Hey, look, Ranma's trying to tell us something! "As absolute dictator, that is within my power." So it is written, so shall it be scorned. Airen already married to Shampoo! Because, of course, Nodoka has that power... *whispers* I am a true Japanese man amoung men I obey mother in everything what about shampoo? married and still engaged? how quaint. Good thing Ranma already husband. HEIL NODOKA! HEIL NODOKA! HEIL NODOKA! That's Italian men, your mixing your sterotypes We already had one daughter! Ranma! What about that paper work we filled out the third day you were HERE?! That was the prenup! That doesn't count! Well I invalidate his marrige to Ukyo... what are you going to do about that? Yes, and what about that lovely wedding we had last summer? ."Additionally...,"continued Ranma."...thanks to secretly obtaining an emergency supply of Nan-nii-chuan water the last time we were all at Jusenkyou,not only am I now fully cured,I'm won't ever change into a girl again when hit by water!" I'm changing into a mecha with optional flight capabilities... oddly though, I find my self longing after pantyhose... how... odd... hrmm Geez, I love redundancies... Yes, the secret supply I only change into a girl when hit with tea Additionally? Didn't we just pass 'Finally' recently? Yeah, I got it last time, but didn't want to use it until now. There goes the canon...blown to h*ll... then end all to be all unfortunatly I did fall into the spring of drown 'whiped son' ROTFL So you won't mind if I splash you, eh? Sorry Nabiki, no more making Lezzie videos with you! Blown to hell? It bled to death back during 'A Wet Dream Come True' Though I haven't mentioned what happens when I'm hit by baby oil... Ranma;I now change into ..JIM SLADE! the man with the tool to satify any woman! No! I fell into the Spring of Drowned Canary right after... glub glub... *Chirp* The corpse is eroding by now mage: That's what got Nabs crying! Oh dear. That means we can't have anymore lesbian orgies? Now what are we going to do on Friday nights? Kasumi's crying becasue No more three ways with Ranma chan and Shampoo .Ranma then turned to his wife(whom for over a decade,unaware of her true gender,he mistook as a guy)and said Ukyou:And believe me! I'm not just his wife! I'm a client too!:) This will be a problem? *goes into her own secret supply* Now, what shall Ranma turn into now... When's the author going to give the reader a little bit of credit for intelligence? Aren't plot contrivances fun? Who are you? nope, I don't understand that sentene either Ranma, when he gets some of his own Humm... I do have this order for a doggie sex scene Mmph mmph mmph! You want us to loosen the gag? Okay Nabiki, turn him into a dog, and I'll star... Ranma, you still me fourty more 'favors' -- when are you gonna start ponying up? I'm sorry Ukyou, you're just not man enough for me now. ."Ucchan,I know I should have said this 12 years ago,but I love you more than okonomiyaki." Even more then your Bud Light? Don't push it.... ok, were married, now jump up on the celing fan, cluck like a chicken with a bottle in your ass, or I'm getting a divorce. Dog water? Okay. *SPLOOSH* Oh, sorry, Ukyo. I was aiming for Ranma. So, does that mean she's cute no matter what she wears? NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEAR OR SMELL LIKE He had to use that line. Why? Why? WHY? Do you love me even more then those wild orgies we used to have every Friday night Running joke. :) Why ask why? ? Ranma: But not as much as Bess so I'm leaving you. Because it is Mike Rhea canon! Besides, it annoys Ken. It's his tagline And our stinger. Mwahaha! How unoriginal... and if it annoys ken, it has to be good!:) Zoogz: Used it as a stinger already. We can find a better one. ;P Damm, lost her, Ah well, fall back on Yuka! Just a riff... ."I love you too,Ran-chan,"replied Ukyou. But if you EVER touch me again... I'm going to make you an Enuch among Men But NOT as much as okonomiyaki! No matter how you taste.... this is worse... it's redundant unoriginality ^^ No matter how you sing.... But not as much as... KUNO! But I really miss those orgies. wake me when it's over but you're not getting my bud light. No matter how dull and robotic you sound.... But what about *our* arrangement, Ucchan? KaraOhki.:. you can sleep after reading this?!? Ukyo: Not a problem, We;ll just kick Shampoo out for Friday nights. .Tsubasa then immediately stormed out of the doujou in disgust.Genma's face turned very pale. * KaraOhki would rather sleep than read this What ever happened to Miyo? Put out the cat... That's not going to change my mind about my affair with Akane. Yes! A paragraph that actually has TWO SENTENCES! You scared away my love! Come back Tsubasa! Woo hoo! There went a GREAT man... Or my affiar with... Mousse i'm sure it was a mistake Then he turned into a panda and went back to his ball NO MORE ORGIES? WAHH!!!! Moments later, Tsubasa threw himself in front of a bus, laughing madly.... Akane, I have always loved you, Marry me! as Konatsu was being dragged at the end of it... Unknown to everyone else, Ukyo had told both Tsubasa and Genma that she was being sexually faithful to them... .Happousai,knowing that he'll have at least 1 1/2 less "pretty ladies" around,passed out as if he were going through serious withdrawal symptoms. Hey, did Happy get mentioned before? She's One... Half... maybe Three Fourths a Lady.. Isn't that cuuuuuute? He's having a stroke! Where'd he come from? NOW I AM the greatest Pervert of Nerima! I'm sorry Konatsu, I'm in love with Ukyou. But we can still have sex. Okay. Actually, I passed out because I though Ukyo was being sexually faithful to me, too. Little did anyone know but 10 generations down the line a descendent of Tsubasa and a Descendent of Ukyo's got married. So... why would he even care, considering the three Tendos, Ukyou still being there, and Nodoka to boot? And since when does being married mean anyone is off limits? Zoogz: Because the author doesn't like him, and wants him to suffer. Don't ask questions. :) Just rhetorical questions... ^_^ hey, I hear there's still a room open at Maison Ikkoku, I'll try my luck there Due to that nice DIet member, Ranma is married to ALL the girls in Nerima now. The same reason Ukyo's dad isn't being blamed for anything. What?! .Then,as Nodoka(knowing that her son was now truly a real "man among men" at last)and Mr.Kuonji watched in satisfaction(and while Konatsu,Akane,Nabiki,Kasumi,and a now-powerless Souun turned their heads and began sobbing), Um... Look... You're not supposed to qeustion these things... What is his obsession with the word 'powerless'? Ha ha ha ha! Crushing people's dreams is FUN! And Soun is powerless too! Hahahaha!! *** khammel has quit IRC (khammel.) Soun sobbing, there's something you don't see too often NOOOO! She has... the kypronite boxers... too... blacking out... ... Ranma, you made Kasumi cry! Good for you! all of them: THANK GOD THIS FIC IS ALMOST OVER! Nabiki sobbing... THAT'S something you don't see either and we ran out of Kleeeeenex!!!!! I'm a sadist! I enjoy people suffering!! *wails* Oh I'm so happy! Now my dear Akane can stay home with me! Hahaha! NO more Sunday Moring Orgys! No, we just headed for Soun's bedroom and had a nice orgy. But it just isn't the same without Ukyo and Ranma... That tears it. I'm going to say something I thought I'd never say....THIS GUY IS *WORSE* THAN OSCAR!!! * KaraOhki gasps Who said I'm not gonna join in? Meg: o.O * MageOhki faints I agree! Meg: that was something that I actually agreed with a couple days ago... * Stormwalker gasps Oh my god! We have found Oscar's heir!!! At least Oscar is CREATIVELY bad. Oscar was offensive, but Rhea is offensive and smug. At least Oscar was slightly original... even if some of the stuff he wrote is wrong... Oooh! You know, I've always had a...thing for pregnant girls... Oscar's love child and Rhea keeps writing the same fic--over and over and over Zoogz: you say that like it was a good thing Oscare wrote stories, BAD stories, but at least they were actual STORIES Oscar can be forgiven... he is a blatant idiot after all. And still calls them 'surprises' Kara: And no lemon. .Ranma and Ukyou Saotome,knowing that they were several months away from parenthood(and also knowing that Genma has been paid back for his dirty deeds),engaged in a very passionate kiss. alls well that ends well... well not this fic. it doesn't even start well SPLOOSH! GARGLE GARGLE... SLURP, SLURP, SMACK... Ahhhhhh.... Who actually was suprised? BRIEFLY.... about what? Yawn... this was a fic? According to Rhea ethics, it is WRONG to kiss after you haven given birth! You know, that's so much easier with that gag in place... Not me. how bad the fic was? The author's character biases are fulfilled; all's right with the world. Whatever you want it to be, I guess. Let's make our kiss as tepid as this fic! Well, actually, I'm rather surprised that there was no citrus content. or how ooc the characters are? I think I got your gum... Really? I think I got your tonsils Ranma, get your toung out of my nose. Oh honey... it's just not the same. *skips after Akane* You're just not the woman I crave anymore. I mean, after that disclaimer... Hallifreakenluulah.... Ugh! That's it! No more garlic and onion okonomiyaki for you. Hey! It's your fault! You made it! Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious .**Music:"Got To Get You Into My Life,"by Earth,Wind,and Fire** It ended? Wasn't that the Beatles? Wow, the cheezy cover rather than the good original. Well, the closing theme is running... is it over? NoOOOO! Our song destroyed by being in this fic... and there was much rejoicing! Performed by a chorus of pokemon. Listen to it loud, listen to it often... and keep saying... it's over... it's over... it's over Yaah! More like 'Got to get you OUT of my mailbox'! LOL... he even got the music group wrong! Off key, too. No, it's not over. Now comes the author rant. Meimi: authors notes too oh no *EVIL GRIN* heh it's over??? THANK GOD!!!! help! Gary: You mean MORE rant oh no Oh God... We're suing for copyright infringement! Phil: not on your life * MageOhki sharpens claws Author RANT! Phil: There's still the author's notes. I wish it was.. Brace yourselves....here comes the rant.... run for you lives! Begone foul Rant, I bansih thee. Runs screming in panic But first.... Avaunt! .THE END ? YES! YAY!!! THANK GOD! and there was much rejoicing! Yay! * KaraOhki sets off the fireworks there's more?!? somebody shoot me now! please! We can only hope I refuse to admit it ended * MageOhki cheeres ...that would mean, it had begun ...we aren't gonna do the author's notes, are we? it's over Praise the Lord It is over!!! keener: It would have to have started first. Ryo: Yes we are. Yes, we are. .********************************************************* * Stormwalker shrugs and shoots Phil Ronny: Exactly There the stars are again. More Jiggiypuffs? The clouds parted, the sun shined, and yay, all was well. Mind dandruff? Ahhhhh! Tribbles!!11 Mike should check his dandruff shampoo... Mike Rhea once again makes an asterisk of himself. Noooo! The Space Invaders made it all the way down! Dead Tribbles. Rhea scat. *coming up for air from Ukyou's french kiss* Ukyou is MINE! *draws forth hammer* Fresh, too. Gary: LOL! is it snow or cocaine? *** Nightman has joined #MST An EKG machine showing someone after having to sit through the fic. Dunno... but I can see through time Tribbles having an orgy, thus provideing this fic with some much-needed citrus content. Hello fellow MSTers The fic's flatlined! He's dead jim * KaraOhki starts CPR....nah, why bother? Nice timing, Night, you missed it. Do NOT revive! Night: Lucky dog, you missed the pain. * KaraOhki sits back and grabs a cup of coffee Ryo: We all need a good amount of Vitamin C, do we not?! .AUTHOR'S NOTES:As you may know,this latest fanfic was inspired by 3 other fanfics:Ukyou Kuonji's Onion Tears ,Emperor Stephen Schlueter's Kasumi Holds a Press Conference,and(to a lesser extent)Jack Staik's Kasumi's Surprise(Special thanks go out to those 2 authors for writing those inspiring fics.). Night: This fic really needs some citrus content. Jack Staik influenced me so much, I took his title! Ha ha ha! *pulling out spatulas* How dare you take me away from my beloved Akane to marry Ranma! At least he doesn't mention me this time. and that's not something to be proud of guys. Shoot me please? Poor authors, inspireing such drivel... Great! Now I have a hit list! And I tried to make my fic just as OOC as Staik's! Dang Onions! As we may know? HOW THE HELL WOULD *WE* KNOW?!? *** Ronny has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer.) WHy WOULD WE CARE? I would hate to be blamed for a Mike Rhea fic, personally... * KaraOhki would rather not know! Yeah, he's no good to us cured. *** Ronny has joined #MST Meg: why would we be forced to know? Peer 3, Ronny 0 *** Gary sets mode: +o Ronny *** Hotaru sets mode: +o Ronny (the fic was so bad, it reset my connection) Heh haha .Additionally,this shockfic has been written in response to widespread Usenet insults directed at my fics(including an inappropriate remark suggesting that I cut off my hands so I can't write,which I don't intend to do as long as I'm on this earth). Shockfic? Nah. Shockfic? Yeah right... Anybody got a space shuttle I can borrow....? Shockfic? Wasn't it supposed to be a dark fic? Oh, we'll cut your hands off for you, no prob! this was suposed to shock me? Hmmm...there's a thought. But once I leave for outer space, I'll happily chop 'em off! Cut off his hands... hey let's send him to the moon so we camn Yes, everyone's been complaining about Mike writing terrible fics, so he responds by... writing a terrible fic. can shockfic??? This predictable thing? Would two bucls be enough to movw you to another earth? Maybe just a few fingers... err bucks We'll even provide you with a free trip to the moon! Hey, Storm, think you can borrow a Trident oto launch this sucker into orbit. *pulling out her sword* Shampoo do it for him! Gary: That's a heck of a response! he needs to lose more than his hands... Having Ranma choose Akane and Ukyou dying in a tragic blimp accident would have shocked me.... Obviously, his thumbs are off... considering how little the space bar is used... mallet express maybe? He'd just continue typing, but using his nose. For one, most comments were physically impossible for me to do, at least without a goat. cut his nose off as well Zoogz: I think he uses hunt-and-peck. Oh most definitely. Thomas: Then we blow his nose off. Nah Ronny...you did that one already. *** Gary has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer.) peer 4, Gary 0 Sheesh... * Nightman just remembered why he doesn't do Ranma fanfics. Peer 7 Gary/Ronny 0 * Thomas shrugs poor Gary Actually, I tried it out, turns out you can't really get through tendons or bone with a butter knife... what a GYP! *** Gary has joined #MST wb .Though I originally came up with this concept fic while at work(and a few hours after reading Kasumi Holds a Press Conference),it was the recent flames that encouraged me to get this idea onto a Notepad file. Night: for fear that Mike Rhea will implicate you in a fanfic? Oh dear. *** Hotaru sets mode: +o Gary That is indeed how it works. Oh my! Damm. We screwed up. Let's start writing less inspiring flames. flames that inspire a fic? Yes, the flames drove me to Notepad! He does it to spite us all. Oh great, we're encouraging him....somebody shoot us..... Why write Ranma fanfics when you can heckle crap like this? Does your employers know how you spend valuable company time? Zoogz: I fear no man being inspired by my fics to write dreck! Like a phoneix rising from the ashes! And then crashing into a low flying Jet Meimi: DON't Insult Crap! Boy Gary, Peer really hates you, doesn't it. Night: even as bad as this? * Ryo mallets Kitti. "Kitti, Megane-san was only jokeing!" You're right... my bad. So... it's all Talen's fault for trying to help Mike with his writing... .BTW,if there are any Ranma characters that I treat like hot potatoes with poisonous spikes,they are Konatsu and Genma because they truly deserve it! No, they don't. I say it is! Konatsu is so cruel and heartless. Yeah! They are the obstacles in my path! sez y0ou WHY does Konatsu desevere THIS? "They just do! If I say it, it is so!" In other words, he can't write them worth spit. And if I say it, it's LAW!!! LAW!!!! Why write Ranma fanfics when you can heckle something that doesn't even deserve a name it's so bad? Genma I might understand, but KONATSU? I always thought that was a better response for Happosai And you know where hot potatoes with poisionous spikes go... right? Right? Night: But that describes everyone in the cast. Genma, I dislike anyways. But if this is treating him badly, sheesh. If he dislikes them so much, why does he even bother having them around? there a words that describe this fic Only me and Ranma can love Ukyo! Diese: I think that means he doesn't know anything about Konatsu! I'm willing to bet he has no idea who Konatsu even is. What did Konatsu do to him anyway? Storm: Konatsu threatened his holy match none of the reproducable anywhere within a lightyear of any man of woman of the cloth Look nicer in his prom dress Thomas: I don't think he knows anything about RANMA 1/2 at all. What did Ukyo ever do to him? Well, that is a long and sorrid tale..:) .Even if it means ending up becoming the first Ranma fanfic author to do so,I honestly would not mind seeing Konatsu get killed off in a Ranma fanfic;because Konatsu/Ukyou is an even bigger no-no than Kunou/ Kodachi(No,I don't advocate incest anime pairings.)! or Anand: And Ranma only when he's a she...so I can share in the fun!!! Storm: He's...A transvestite! A male one, that is. :P Ryo: gave him wild fantasies Sheesh... Oh, what DO you advocate?!? Incest MANGA pairings, though, are fine. We should make sure that *things* like this can't reproduce and pollute the genepool. First poor Konatsu should be raped, now he should be killed... Hmmmmm, Kunou/Kodachi.... Uh...why? Nah, been done... Think Mike's on a little bit of bloodlust here? Keener: i'll help write that one... yep night:LOL on drugs, maybe I hate incest pairings too. Damn ecchi authors. hey, didn't someone just kill off Konatsu last month? ?@Kill them all! Except for Ukyo and Ranma! ?@Hahahaha! Mikes doesn't like the competition! Hotaru: ^_^ Storm: No, not wild fantasies. Rather bland ones. Hotaru: Said the pot to the kettle... Mage: I tend to save lemons for Tenchi, espeically the incest ones... ahem Keener: Well... Kuno: Prince of Jurai... .Also,I suddenly had the urge,for the first time,write a pregnancy into my Ranma/Ukyou romances(though *whistling* Incest isn't a bad thing... after all, most incest fics are better than this. most .lemon. fics are better than this! When is he gonna write a citrus fic, I wonder? Mike... suppress your urges. Meimi: Star Mage was better than this... and I'm Still trying to tacnuke that one. Mei: Heh. Most FICS are better than this. And oh lord, can you just IMAGINE the kind of characterization Ukyou will get once she has a baby? this was a fic? Kara: Argeed. lol hey my fics are better than this because I just saw this movie.. with like a pregnant woman in it... played by Arnold Schwarhinager. Megane: MAdonna and child? Most random scribbles are better than this. I'm not really a bitch, I'm just drawn that way. This is a henious form of torture, not a fic. ?@And my next urge will be writing Ranma and Ukyou... together! Hahaha! An infinite number of monkeys in the guise of Mike Rhea. Too bad it was Ukyo who was pregnant... personally I'd like to see Nodoka declare Ukyou a MAN amoung women... THAT would be more of a shockfic * Apollo_Racer wonders if Mike could have been the product of incest It's the only explanation something this horrid could exist. .(though in the lemon Take Me Out To The Bathhouse,Ranma and Ukyou ultimately conceived a child;and additionally either or both of Ryouga's spouses have been pregnant in a few of my fics). wonder if we can sue Mike for Cruel and Unusual torture? Ewww... *Yawn* Like we care, Mike. He's written a lemon? Hell, even the nastiest yaoi-incest fic is better than this. Both? You go Ryoga! Ryo: he calls them such... Surprising, given how tame this is. Aha, Ryouga's playing the field... or can't find the right bed to sleep in... *Ryoga's* spouses??? take me out to the bathhouse...sounds familiar Ryo: yeah, he got it on with Artimis... oh wait. Dammit, you should all know my fics by now! My fics deserve to be memorized the moment they come out! *** Bastion has joined #MST Ryouga's always lost... because of all the beds he graces. Are you my wife? Shut up and fang me! Now he's ruining Akari... he needs to die. Aw how sweet, Ryoga managed to find the church more than once. Kara: He stole the title from Viz dubbers. ?@I have seventeen women... stashed all over Asia! You mean deserve to be burned the moment they come out! I seem to remember reading it, and turning green Even Mike Rhea will never find them all! Ryouga: Yeah, but how many bishonen guys! Let's MST Mike's so-called lemon sometime. Zoogz: Yes, but Geoff Downes and Steve Howe gave 9 of them back. Kara: green doesn't begin to desribe my reaction. .As for those people who desperately wish I'd stop writing anime fanfiction,don't bet on it,especially when there's always a shortage of Ranma/Ukyou fanfics. quick get Zen to write more that way he'll stop writing! Thanks in no small part to you, I'm sure, Mike.... ?@Of which I am quickly trying to rectify! AMEN! Alright, who wants to help put out a contract on this baka? * KaraOhki hides Mike's keyboard Honestly Mike, your not helping the cause Sure Mike, just fill up my trashcan with them my don't you. If there's a shortage, writing the same one over and over won't help. if it will get you to stop writing I'll write som Ranma Ukoy ones... Well, with Rhea writing them, there's obviously a shortage of GOOD Ranma/Ukyo fics. Same here.... yep * Apollo_Racer duct tapes Mike's hands together. * KaraOhki applauds Ronny HEY, now I know why Zen quit... He didn't WANT to be assoicated with Mike... Heh He's giving Ranma/Ukyou stories an even worse name! Out of Mike's internet connection and into my circular file... DID Zen quit? Not that I know of Zen didn't quit...he's just extemely slow in writing... No. Zen quit? I'll happily write Ranma/Ukyo fics if Mike-boy'll quit. gary: Not in *theory*. :) NO. He's focused on Revenge's End right now * KaraOhki won't write one He only writes SIs these days. .As with any fanfic I write,comments concerning this spamfic(no flames, please,you have been warned) And he owe's me back C&C ^_^ I'll write one if I can come up with a believable one. All: Tom: Is t-that what I t-think it is....? Crow: C-could it r-really be? Joel: I-I think it is! All: HE PUT A SPACE AFTER A COMMA!!! WOO HOO!!! I'll have to consider writing a Ukyou/Konatsu fic on of these days. awww, Mike. You don't let us have ANY fun! No flames? And he wonders why there aren't as many? and if you write a flame, I'll warn you again He takes all the fun out of life! He has thumbs! ?@Hallelujah! Hmmm...maybe as the far end result of SSOA... And flames are defined a la Gregg Sharp, as any negative comment. wonder if this MST counts? This wasn't a flame... this was a smelting pot... feel the difference is this a flame? Who want to be in a sub-genre with him as company? warned? He did? Where? maybe Mage. I'm nice and warm! what's he gonna do... keep writing? Tell that to poor Talen... Basically it works like this: Anand: he'll do that anyway If you flame him.. He's going to put me in a lemon fic... oh joy! Oh Rapture! Gary: How about, Akane dies in childbirth, and Ranma finds himself having to remarry so his newborn child will have a mother? heh...Talen will never stop flaming Mike He warns no flames, cuz he knows that's all he'd get. My head hurts now. BBL. he will feature your name in his next fic. .can be sent to yours truly at ranma_ukyou@xoommail.com, michaelrhea@hotmail.com, RanmaandUkyou@excite.com, Yahzu-Nii-Chuan@lycosmail.com,or sasukesarugakure@altavista.net *** Hotaru has quit IRC (Leaving.) Thomas: he'll blame you for the next one. Lots of addy's... lots of safe houses email flames to all of em I sure hope not. mail bombs sent... ?@Or all five at the same time! Ryo: Does the rest of the female cast die as well? Gods... Why does he have so many emails? email this MST to all of them He'd need all those mailboxes to cope with the flooding from all the flames he must get. Gotta flame em all! Man, he really wants answers! Mage: In case the first four blow up? funny he didn't include icantwritetosavemylife@aol.com If I wrote *this* crap, I'd try to *hide* my response adress... Gotta be... where are those mail bombs? Mike is Sasuke? No WONDER he's such an annoying little turd. no no no, he'd NEVER write a fic with Akane having Ranma's child. You should know better. That's where he stores all of his catchphrases... Mage: Or maybe he THINKS he's so popular, he NEEDS fice e-mails just to hold all his fan mail.... Gary: Well, somehow I doubt that Ranma would easily be conned into marrying Shampoo or Kodachi... And pastes them into new fics. Ronny: I wouldn't stick my name on this, EVEN I know how to use spaces Bastion: I'll trade you an Evolved Holo RanmaandUkyo@excite.com for a rare Yahzu-Nii-Chuan@lycosmail.com hey any ukyo fans out there? Seriously, explain the attraction to me... .Well, that's it. The fic is now over. Rejoice and smoke em if you got em. ;P K: Yahoo, I choose you!!! YAY! 'cus I sure did. * KaraOhki dances around, waving bunches of carrots brb Ryo: But there's Kasumi, who'd obviously be a much better mother. You don't want to go after his little .sig? Ronny: Heh * BattlOhki smokes a carrot * Keener smokes the fic Mike: I was smoking something to get though this fic. He'd write ME pregnant before HE ever wrote Akane' having my kid. Anand: Well, I'm primarily for Ranma/Akane, though I think that Ukyo would be Ranma's second choice... [17:57] what, you said some it. [17:57] Well, that fic was a nice slice of buttcheese, eh? [17:57] heh [17:57] * Nightman puts the fic in his pipe and smokes it! [17:57] *** Thomas has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer.) [17:57] now to wait for the next one, so we can do it again!! [17:57] Aw Ranma-honey, it's alright. [17:57] Ryo: Same here [17:57] peer 8 us 0 [17:57] Ronny: I doubt that Mike could figure out what end to light. [17:57] Fido, Meg, others... who logged this? [17:57] Kara: Sadly yes.... [17:57] fic's over? Bye Ukyo! I'm going home [17:57] I logged it for one [17:57] i did [17:57] Okay... Fido? [17:57] REtCHH.....Doesn't even smoke well! [17:57] Just think of all the money I'll make in the betting on whose kid it is. [17:57] Zoogz: I got a log of this... [17:57] Ryo: More important to figure out what end to suck [17:57] I need some culture, I'll go watch Manos again. [17:57] I'll be back soon, people [17:57] This fic? Ryo: Send me the log... Keener: Well, I think that you probably shouldn't suck the end that you lit... Good. I did too, so that means we'll have at least one clean copy... *** KaraOhki is now known as KaraAway i mean, i can understand Akane, Shamps, hell, even Nabiki, if Ranma is feeling especially sadistic... but Ukyo? You'd encourage that? later Kar a Mage: K. Gimmie your addy and wait a while. #chickenballs is now open, for those involved with the awards Never heard of lighting it at both ends? *** Thomas has joined #MST I logged it as well gah mage2099@dtgnet.com Gary's right though, at least Oscar's fic was silly enough to be funny. This was just plain pathetic.... Thanks... Which one Gary? Which what? Nabiki and Ranma! Yes! It wasn't a fic... it was a rant... least with Oscar, you had a story Anand: Why would Ukyou be less preferable to Shampoo....and why would you be able to see Ranma going for Shampoo? There IS only one Gary. :) Shall I send you the log as it presently is, or wait until this room has emptied? Gary: Not counting Matt There's 2 chickenball channels... Nabiki and Ranma now.... Even I have some taste. No, he'll find a nice big, ticking package in the mail and we'll all breathe a sigh of relief. Which chickenball channel Gary? As is. I think we're done. K. whoo hoo finished! We're done, right? Yay! *** Diese has left #MST does that mean? zoogz:do you want phil to sned you the log? I have one * Apollo_Racer flips a switch, and MST3K ending theme plays. meg do the honors I was just making sure it wasn't the only one *** Bastion has left #MST *** Anand has left #MST What honors? Yeah, I can delete this fic now! *** Gary has left #MST Apollo: does that mean you're frank? zoogz:email addy? * Meimi personally wraps Nabiki's gift to the author. *** MageOhki has left #MST THE END Fido: for what? Heh, push the button Fido ofr phil err for This will make a nice boom. Session Close: Sat Feb 12 18:00:41 2000