The Pen-Pen is Mightier than the Sword This is a one-shot fic that tries to solve some of the mysteries in the Evangelion series. Well, it focuses mainly on answering one question. This question has plagued EVERY Evangelion fan. Not one single person has watched the series without asking or thinking about this question. It is usually phrased in exactly the same way, and the series provides little insight as to what the answer is. This question, you all know it well, is: Just what the hell is that thing on Pen-Pen's back? SPOILER WARNING! If you have not seen the End of Evangelion movie or don't know what happens in it, you SHOULD NOT read this fanfic. If you have seen End of Evangelion but still don't know what happens in it, then welcome to the club. Disclaimer: Everything from Evangelion belong to Gainax, except for Pen-Pen, who belongs to an even higher power. Bubblegum Crisis is property of Youmex. Dominion Tank Police is property of Matsume Shirow. Dragonball is property of whomever made Dragonball. Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Slayers is property of Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi. Transformers is property of whomever made Transformers. Spider-man is property of Marvel Comics. Disclaimer disclaimer: Not all the series that are listed in the disclaimer will be used is this fanfic. What do you think I am, nuts? Eva Unit-01 burst into the geofront, its four wings shimmering in the light from the sun. The wings reformed into a cross shape as the Evangelion gained altitude. On the surface of the moon, the Lance of Longinus pulled itself out of the ground and flew towards Earth. It came straight at Unit-01, and stopped just before it made contact with the neck of the Eva. Shinji sat there in shock. 'Why did the lance stop?' This thought was interrupted when the Mass Production Evas extended their lances, pinning Unit-01's arms in place. They flew up and started biting its wings. Shinji screamed out in pain. The units rose into the air. After reaching an altitude of 12,000 feet, the Eva Series released the wings and flew into their set positions to form the Tree of Life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "S2 systems have been released!" Aoba shouted. "Dimension Calibrator has been reversed. It's indicating negative!" Hyuga screamed. "It's an Anti-AT field." Fuyutski muttered. "All phenomenons watch those of fifteen years ago." Maya said to herself. "Is this the prelude to the third impact?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A giant explosion rocked the geofront The ball of fire expanded outwards but suddenly stopped. Energy crackled, and a black sphere emerged from the centre of the blast. The Egg of Lilith began its climb into the atmosphere. Eva Unit-01 floated upwards in the sky, undisturbed by the explosion. The Eva Series maintained their formation around the prone unit. A giant white Rei rose from the clouds below. She faced Unit-01 and reached her hands out towards it. Her gaze penetrated the Eva and drove itself straight into Shinji. He screamed again. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pen-Pen stood on the ground, watching the events proceed. Then he spoke. "I have been passive for far too long, but that will now change. This impact must be stopped no matter the cost." The metallic thing on Pen-Pen's back hissed as a compartment opened. Two pieces of metal holding an object between them shot straight up out of it. They made two ninety degree turns, placing the object into the penguin's flippers. The object itself was an orange sphere with white handles and a cut out middle. Replacing the middle section was a glowing blue light. Pen-Pen grasped the handles and began to pull. "Now Matrix, light out darkest hour!" The orange sphere split in two, revealing the glowing blue globe that was contained inside. The globe hovered in the air momentarily before slamming into Pen-Pen's body. It was absorbed on contact, and the blue glow spread throughout the penguin. "Arise, Pengulis Prime." A deep voice said. "Optimus?" Pen-Pen whispered. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Sir! We're reading a massive energy spike. One different than the Eva's are creating!" Maya screamed. "What?" Fuyutski shouted back. "Show me." Maya's screen flickered and then displayed an image of Pen-Pen growing. "Huh?" Hyuga yelled. "That's Misato's pet. What's it doing here?" "What the hell is it doing?" Fuyutski demanded. "I don't know!" Maya replied. "It's like nothing I've ever seen." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Indeed Pen-Pen was growing. As he did, he also began to change shape. His flippers split apart into five digits. His beak retracted to form a mouth and nose. His legs grew longer and wider. Two plates shot up from his shoulders, bracketing his head. A red sphere burst halfway out of his chest. The metal backpack also transformed, but its changes were much more drastic. It grew to keep pace with Pen-Pen, but it unfolded was well. These sections plated themselves against the penguin's body. Soon he was covered completely with the metal except for his eyes and the red semi-sphere on his chest. Then the metal began to glow with a blinding white light. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Pattern Blue!" Maya screamed again. "An Angel?" Hyuga shouted. "Oh my God!" Fuyutski said in awe. "It's the Giant of Light!" "The Giant of Light?" Aoba shouted to him. "It looks like an Evangelion." "Wrong. The Evangelions look like it. That is Adam. That is the first Angel." "T-t-the f-first Angel?" Maya whimpered. "But I thought the first Angel was in terminal dogma!" Hyuga yelled. "No. That was Lilith, the second Angel. Tell me everything you know about Major Katsuragi's pet." Fuyutski ordered. "Well, there's not much to say. Kaji gave him to her about 9 years ago, just before they broke up. She's had Pen-Pen ever since." "Kaji." Fuyutski muttered and then ran to Gendo's desk. He pulled open the top right drawer and gazed inside. The embryo was still there. (Well, that solves the mystery of what happened to it after it was delivered) 'Kaji, did you betray us? Did you give us a false Adam? Was the real Adam that penguin?' "Damn! What's Adam doing?" "He appears to have finished his transformation, sir." Maya reported. "Wait! His shoulder weapon compartment is activating." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pen-Pen's shoulder mount snapped open, and a handle was thrust out of it. Pen-Pen reached up and grabbed it. Pulling outwards, he unsheathed his weapon. The blade that came out of the compartment was much larger than what should have been able to fit in there. 'Those progressive knifes that the Eva's use are pretty good. However, this progressive sword is far superior.' Pen-Pen thumbed the activation switch, and the weapon began to pulsate with energy. (Now, how many people can tell me why the Evangelions didn't use swords. Expense? I think not; the fate of the world is at stake. Can't make a weapon that size? Possibly, but unlikely. Take animes such as Slayer, Ranma 1/2, Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, Dirty Pair Flash, NINJA SCROLL, Tenchi Muyo, and dozens of others into account. The real answer is that swords are insanely powerful in animes. If the Eva's were equipped with them, then even Asuka would have a hard time losing to an Angel. Since Angels are supposed to be challenging to fight, they can't get chopped up five seconds into a battle. Eliminating swords also eliminates that result, and so the Angels can pound their way through anything except for a berserk Unit-01.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "This was not in the scenario." "Nevertheless, we must proceed with the plan." "Yes, we will destroy the first Angel and then continue with the ritual." Lorenz slammed his fist against his desk. "Ikari, what have you done?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Mass Production Evas dropped to the ground in a circle around Pen-Pen, just as they did with Unit-02. Their wings retracted into their backs. Brandishing their lances, they all charged. Unit-01 and Rei just watched from their position. Pen-Pen stood motionless as the Eva's approached him. Then, at the last possible second, he leapt into the air. After pausing in mid-air for a dramatic pose, he began to descend. His sword flashed. Pen-Pen landed outside the circle of Eva's, his sword in an outstretched position. The Eva behind him fell to the ground. Its head and half its entry plug were severed off. Pen-Pen turned around and attacked. The closest Eva was sliced neatly into three pieces. The next was split in two cleanly down its centre. The third had its entire entry plug cut out. By this time, the Eva's started to fight back. Dodging a clumsy lunge by one of them, Pen-Pen took the opportunity to stick his blade through his foe's core. Pivoting to the left, he flung the impaled unit off his sword and into another. Spinning around, he barely managed to parry an attack that would have taken off his head. The combatants weapons remained locked together as the two tried to overpower each other. Flicking his wrists, Pen-Pen sent the Eva's lance flying. He stabbed it through its core, and then thrust the blade upwards. The weapon tore up through the unit and burst from its head, dripping blood and gore. Pen-Pen continued the stroke, carrying the weapon over his head and into the one of the Eva that was preparing to attack him from behind. He twisted the blade, and the Eva's head exploded. 'Only two left? This is too easy.' Pen-Pen evaluated his two remaining foes. One was struggling to its feet after having an Eva hurled on top of it. The other looked like it was about to throw its lance at him. Pen-Pen's eyes flashed, and the would be javelineer was blasted to smithereens. The last Eva had just gotten to its feet before it was sliced to ribbons. Resheathing his sword safely in his overhead compartment, Pen-Pen turned his attention towards the giant Rei. Four wings shot out of his back. They looked identical to Unit-01's wings, but were two were located on each side. They went up and then slowly curved back down, forming a parabola. (You see Adam's wings in one episode. Picture that stuck to the back of the Giant of Light. Or the really cool looking ones Unit-01 grows in the intro.) Pen-Pen's knees bent and then he launched himself into the air. His wings beat once and, he was propelled towards Rei. She screamed and thrust her hands out in front of her in an attempt to stop him. Unfortunately for her, they just phased right threw the penguin-angel. He reached Rei's body and was absorbed directly into it. Then Rei began to re-shape herself right before Shinji's eyes. Her nose elongated and combined with her mouth. Her legs shrunk, and her feet grew flatter. Her fingers and toes merged, and her body grew shorter and fatter. Her neck was pulled down into her body and her hair disappeared. Soon, Shinji found himself staring at a giant white Pen-Pen. "Pen-Pen?" Shinji whispered as two white flippers enclosed his Eva. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Unit-01 has been enveloped by Adam!" Maya reported. "All contact with it has been lost." "Damn it, Ikari. It wasn't supposed to be like this." Fuyutski shouted in frustration. "Continue monitoring. There's nothing else we can do." Many levels below, in Terminal Dogma, Gendo Ikari lay on the floor waiting for the end. He looked at his watch. "Rei and Shinji sure are taking their time." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shinji found himself some sort of red liquid. (typical Evangelion surreal setting) He was completely naked and was facing an equally naked Pen-Pen. 'Strange. I've never seen Pen- Pen without that metallic thing on his back. I wonder what that is anyway." "Pen-Pen? What's going on? What happened? Where am I? What was that thing on your back? Answer me!" "You are in your mind, Shinji." Pen-Pen replied enigmatically. "But how can you talk?" "Because we penguins are the ultimate race." "What? Penguins are?" "Yes. Penguins are far superior to humans in every way, especially in moral values." 'I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away.' "B-but haven't humans made all sorts of useful things?" "Yes, but only by raping and pillaging the land You humans are like a virus; you do not care what happens to your host as long as you prosper." "So the Second Impact was to punish for that?" "No. What you refer to as the Second Impact was sent to punish the penguins." "Penguins?" "Yes. As God's ultimate creatures, the penguins were given many gifts, including the gift of languages. We could talk to anyone, but most chose to only speak with other penguins. However, with great power comes great responsibility. We had great power, and God expected us to use it responsibly. He gave us the task of safeguarding the planet and keeping inferior creatures, such as yourselves, in line. We penguins were not concerned with you too much when you began to develop technology. You left us alone for the most part, and so we did the same. God was displeased with the damage you were doing to his planet, and so he destroyed our homeland with the Second Impact. This had three major effects. One, it showed that god was upset at us shirking our duty. Two, it forced us to begin to live where you humans do. Finally, it reduced the number of you humans we would have to convert back to the true path." "So God created the Second Impact? Did Ritsuko lie to me? Was the first Angel not involved?" "Adam was involved. Actually, he was the one who created the explosion. Adam was similar to the tenth Angel. He was a bomb that exploded, destroying Antarctica. I was at what you would call ground zero when that happened. As a result, Adam's essence was transferred into me, and I became Adam. The essence also filled me with power and purpose. I wandered the globe spreading word to other penguins of their mission and how they must not fail God again. In the year 2004, I became aware that you humans were developing scanners that could detect my power. I had to do something, so I traveled to a volcano in the United States. There, I transferred my power into the Autobot Matrix. I gave them instructions on how to use it, and then left. The next year, they had to use that power to destroy a planet crushing robot named Unicron. Having used the Matrix for its purpose, Optimus Prime returned it to me. He said I could keep it until I removed my power from it. He also built that 'thing on my back' as you so eloquently put it. It was a container for the Matrix, and I also infused it with some of my power. In the year 2006, my mission took a new turn. The one known as Ryouji Kaji captured me. Then he gave me to Misato Katsuragi. I would have liked to continue preaching, but the information I was gathering on you humans was much more important." "So, did the penguins fail again?" "Yes. You humans continued to embrace technology, and the penguins again did nothing to stop you. God's patience with them is at an end, and so the Third Impact must take place." "What does that mean exactly?" "It means that all penguins will be wiped off the face of the Earth in a series of really cool special effects." "But what do the Angels have to do with any of this?" "The Angels have been referred to as Messagers from God. That is their exact mission. They are trying to deliver a message, not destroy. You merely got in their way." "Message? What message? To who?" "To Adam. To myself. Unfortunately, the Angels mistook Lilith for me. Bloody incompetents. They tried to deliver the message to her, and since she was in Terminal Dogma, they had to go through you humans first. You had your best and most effective weapons on the planet stationed there, the Evangelions. Created from bits of my old body left over at Antarctica, their power is close to an Angel's. But you already know all this. What you don't know was the contents of the message. Actually, since you succeeded in destroying all the Angels, I don't even know what the message is, but I can guess." "Guess?" "Don't worry, Shinji. I know what I'm doing. The message was very likely that the penguins had failed again, and so God wants me to kill them all. Seele, in its folly, thought that the eradication of a species was an evolution to a higher existence. Morons. Because of this, they tried to create an Impact that would affect humans instead of penguins. When they tried to do this, I realized what the message the Angels must have been trying to deliver, so I stopped the man-made Impact and now am starting the true Third Impact. "Uh." was all Shinji could say. "Humans must learn to coexist with Nature. Otherwise, an impact from God might target them. Remember that, Shinji. Goodbye." "Wait! Why are you telling me all this?" Pen-Pen smiled. "I had to tell someone. Besides, you saved me from Misato's cooking by moving in with her. I owed you." Then everything turned white. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Unit-01 has been ejected from Adam!" Maya said. "What? What's going on now?" Fuyutski responded. "Energy levels rising again!" Aoba screamed. "Anti-AT field confirmed and expanding!" Hyuga yelled. "It's beginning to materialize!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Black Moon hung in space. The ground underneath it turned white. The whiteness began to spread. When it reached a large size, a portion of it glowed brightly and then expanded upwards. The bulge formed into a giant white Pen-Pen. The penguin placed on flipper on either side of the Egg of Lilith. Red dots began to appear in the air around the Black Moon. Strange protrusions stuck out of Pen-Pen's back. At first they appeared to be wings, but then they split several times to form a complex pattern. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two penguins were sitting on the beach, soaking up the sun's rays. The wind provided a nice breeze that kept them cool. The penguins just lay there, enjoying themselves. Then they noticed that they were not alone with each other. They turned and saw two white Pen-Pens floating towards them. The Pen-Pens reached out and touched the penguins. As soon as this happened, the penguins exploded into an orange goo. A red spark emerged from each of the puddles of goo and floated up towards the Black Moon. Many scenes like this were repeated across the globe. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Sir! All the penguins AT Fields are dissolving!" Maya screamed. "What? The penguins?" Fuyutski shouted back. "Why in God's name are the penguin's AT Fields dissolving? Do penguins even have AT Fields? What do they have to do with anything." 'Ikari, how much did you keep secret?' Gendo looked at his watch again. "What's taking so long?" He sighed and got up. "I'd better see what's going on. I should've know that I can't trust Shinji to do anything without an order." Gendo made his way back up to Central Dogma. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A red surface encircled the Earth. Glowing white crosses shot up from the ground and stood there. The red sparks came up from the crosses like pollen shaken loose from a flower. The sparks drifted up to the Black Moon and orbited it, until they got sucked into Pen-Pen's flippers. When the red sparks had all disappeared into the giant penguins appendages. The Black Moon developed lines on it resembling those of latitude and longitude. Red blood poured from these lines and dripped from the bottom of the sphere. Then the Black Moon exploded in a shower of red sparks. The sparks were all absorbed by Pen-Pen. The white crosses launched themselves from the ground and flew into him. They, too, were absorbed. Once everything had been sucked into the mighty penguin, he took one last look at the world before exploding. The pieces of him disintegrated into nothingness. The world returned to its normal color. The only thing left in the sky was Eva Unit-01. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "FREEZE!" A voice shouted. Gendo turned around and saw one of the Japanese commandos who infiltrated the base. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead like all the others. This isn't according to the scenario." "Shut up!" The soldier yelled. "You're Gendo Ikari, aren't you? NERV's leader. You're coming with me. The Committee wants to have a few words with you." The soldier took Gendo's gun and escorted him out of the base. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shinji looked around. only to see nothing out of the ordinary except that he was 220,000 feet above the surface of the Earth. He began to descend. "Was that it?" he whispered. "Was that the Third Impact? Is everything over? I guess it is. Pen-Pen said there would be cool special effects, and that had plenty. That had to be it. So now what do I do?" A little Shinji popped into existence beside Shinji's head. It was dressed in a red body suit, held a pitchfork in one hand, had a pointy tail, and two little horns on its head. "Hey, Shinji. You can take over the world with this Eva." Another little Shinji appeared on the other side of Shinji's head. This was wearing white robes and sandals, had two white wings on its back and a halo over its head. "No, Shinji. That would be wrong. You should..." "Look! An Angel! Kill it!" The devil Shinji shouted. Shinji, reacting to the word 'Angel', swatted the angel Shinji into the side of the entry plug. The tiny body floated to the bottom of the plug and lay still. "Heh heh. Good work, Shinji." The devil Shinji continued. "Now, about taking over the world. You're in an Eva with an S2 organ. All the others have been destroyed. Nothing can stop you. You can do whatever you want. You won't have to run away ever again. And if you feel like it, you can just command someone to run away for you! How does that sound." That sounded good. "Emperor Shinji does have a nice ring to it." He replied. "All right. Let's do this. What do I do first?" "Hmmm. I guess you should secure headquarters. You still need a base and a source of LCL." Shinji nodded. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The truck that the soldier had taken sped along the road. Gendo was in the back, tied to his chair. The soldier who captured him was watching him, while another soldier was driving. "So Mr. Ikari, do you know what the Committee is going to do with you?" "I have an idea." Gendo couldn't understand it. He didn't see any Eva's or anything out of the ordinary. There was no way he could miss seeing Rei; she was huge! The sky was a normal color, which it shouldn't be during an Impact. Had Seele failed to create their Impact? Had Rei stopped it? What was going on? His thoughts were interrupted when a large purple foot came down on the truck, like on Monty Python. It crushed it into the ground. The gas tank exploded, engulfing the already flattened occupants in a ball of fire. The blast did nothing to the Eva. Shinji began his march to headquarters. The first step in his journey to become ruler of the world. End Notes: Well, that was fun to write. I also hoped it cleared up a few things about the Evangelion universe. So next time someone asks you what is that thing on Pen-Pen's back, you can look them straight in the eye and say: "It's a gift from Optimus Prime that holds the Autobot Matrix and is infused with some of Pen-Pen's power, who happens to be Adam." Comments can be sent to laguna_blade@hotmail.com . If you liked this story, then that's good. If you thought it was a piece of garbage that made a mockery of everything in the Evangelion series, then my work here is done.