Road Trip

*James, Butch, Jessie, Cassidy, and Meowth are in Cerulean City preparing for a road trip. Destination: Celadon City*
I’m tired! Why did we haveta get up so early?
So we can get an early start. We need to get to Celadon before dark so we can get a hotel or something.
Is everyone ready yet?
No, James is still packing. I think he can’t decide which bottle caps to take.
Arg! *walks back into apartment* James! Hurry up!
I can’t decide if I should take my blue cap or my gold one!
Take both of them!
I can’t do that! I wouldn’t have room for my red bottle cap. I definitely need to take that one.
*yells from outside* Are you guys ready yet?!
*sighs impatiently* Come on, James! Everybody wants to go.
*whines* But I can’t--
*Throws all of the bottle caps into the backpack and closes it* There!
Hey! Now you got them all out of order!
Too bad. Now let’s go. *goes outside*
*sighs sadly but goes outside*
Finally! Now can we leave?
We can lea-- Wait a minute! I forgot something important!
James! Why must you be so forgetful? *sighs* I just locked the door. Do I have to unlock it now?
Yes! Yes! Unlock it! It’s important!
Just unlock the darn door so he can get it.
*sighs* Fine! *unlocks door*
Hurry up and get whatever it is!
*runs into apartment and comes back with his “important” item* Got it!
Your rose?! Your rose!?!? We had to unlock the door and wait forever just so you can get your rose!?
Yes, that sounds correct, Botch. I can’t go anywhere without it.
Oh no, let’s get one thing straightened out. Do not, and I repeat do not call me Botch. It’s Butch. B-U-T-C-H.
Okay Botch.
*yells* Why you--! I’m going to rip that rose apart to little shreds! *starts to attack James and his rose*
*pulls James away from Butch*
*pulls Butch away from James* Please Butch. Don’t hurt him now! Wait until we come back.
Whatever. James, if you call me Botch one more time, I will break that rose in half and pull off all of the petals!
*whimpers and holds rose close to him* Don’t worry, rose, I’ll protect you from Botch.
What did you say?!
Butch…control yourself.
*moans* Can we please go now?
Yeah, but first we need to choose who will drive. Anyone?
Butch, you’re a good driver, why don’t you drive?
Sure. Everyone, get in the car.
Wait a minute! There’s no way in the world I’m sitting next to Cassidy!
Like I wanted to sit next to you?!
*groans* Stop fightin’! I just want ta go!
You can sit up in the front with me, Cassie. That way you won’t have to sit next to Jessie. *gets into driver seat*
Sounds good. *gets into passenger seat*
I want a window! *sits near window in backseat*
*sits in middle next to Meowth*
*gasp* Wait a minute!
What now?
I’m sitting near a window!
And your point is…?
I get car sick if I sit next to windows!
Please James, can ya switch with Jessie?
Yeah. *switches seats so he sits next to window* Is that better, Jess?
Yes, much better.
Good. *starts up car* At the rate we’re going, it’s going to be a miracle if we can get to a hotel in Celadon before night. *backs out and starts to drive*
Are we there yet?
Meowth!
*laughs* Sorry.
*a few hours have gone by…*
*whines* I’m hungry!
*groans* Shut up.
*stomach growls loudly*
Tell your tummy to shut up, too.
*whines* I can’t!
Butch, stop at the next restaurant or fast food joint so he can eat.
Fine, anything to make him be quiet. *parks at a fast food place a few minutes later*
Yay! Food!
*All get out of car and walk in and sit at a table*
*looks at the long line of people waiting to order their food* There’s no sense for all of us to go stand in line. Someone should stand in line and order our food.
That’s a guy’s job to do that stuff. One of you two guys go and do that.
I’ve been driving the entire time. I would like to just sit down and relax for once. Let James stand in line and wait. He was the one who was hungry.
*whines* I don’t want to wait in line forever.
If you don’t, then you won’t get to eat.
*sighs* Fine. I’m getting some chicken nuggets. What do you guys want?
A double meat hamburger. Make sure there’s no cheese.
I want a salad with ranch dressing.
Okay, I just want some fries and a vanilla milkshake.
I don’t want anyt’ing.
*groans* Why not?
I don’t like fast food. I want some fish.
James, get him a fish sandwich or something.
No! Da fish is always covered with da same stuff fried chicken is covered with.
Who cares?
I care!
James, hurry up and get in line.
Okay. *stands in line for 20 minutes and then comes back with the food*
Finally!
Okay, I got everyone’s food. *gives them their food*
*groans* James! There’s cheese on my hamburger! I said no cheese!
I wanted ranch dressing not Italian!
I said I wanted fries and a vanilla milkshake. I got onion rings and a chocolate milkshake!
I got a hotdog!
James! Why did you mess up on our orders?
I don’t know. I got what I wanted, my chicken nuggets.
*They all groan and eat their food. After, they pile back into the car and continue to their destination. A few hours later…*
I’m tired.
It’s not even dark yet. Plus, there’s no hotels near us.
*sighs*
*frowns* The guy up in front is driving to slow. I’m gonna try to pass him. *Tries to pass the car by switching lanes*
Butch! Be careful!
Arg. He picks up speed then he slows down. I can’t switch lanes to pass him. *looks out window* I have an idea, I’m going to go around him by driving in the grass. *Veers out into grass that is next to the road and tries to pass the car*
*screams* Botch! You’re driving too fast!
I still can’t pass the guy!
*screams* We’re stuck out in the grass! We’re gonna die!
We’re not stuck. It’s just that the idiot in the other car won’t let us pass him.
Wait a minute! The guy’s slowing down. I think I’ll be able to pass him!
Hey! When we pass him, let’s roll down the windows and yell at the guy. Let’s tell him that his driving stinks!
As they pass the other car, they all roll down their windows and yell out the windows
You stink!
Where did you get your license?!
Get off the road!
You almost killed us!
*While passing the other car, he catches a glimpse of the driver* Hey! That guy looked like our Boss!
Oh no! I think it was him! He drives that kind of car.
Oh great! We’re doomed now! He’s gonna yell at us!
Nice going, Botch! You just had to pass him.
Do you want me to pull over and slug you?
*whimpers* No.
Nearing 10:00 pm, raining outside, the gang is still out driving…
Oh. My. Gosh. If I have to spend another ten minutes in this car, I swear I will die!
Oh be quiet! We’ll stop at a hotel soon. Be patient!
I hope so. Dis Meowth is tired.
Same here!
*groans* Will you all shut up?! I’m trying to drive here and that’s kind of impossible with all of you complaining.
Complete silence for a minute, then…
*sniffs* What is that smell?
Ewww!
*gags* Somebody open da windows!
Oh no, don’t roll down the windows. It’s raining outside and I don’t want the car getting soaked inside.
Great. What a fine time for someone to cut the cheese. Right Cassidy?
*blushes*
Speaking of cheese Cassidy, now I know why you never want to eat it. It gives you intestinal problems.
Jimmy, why did ya have to give Cassidy a cheeseburger?
Excuse me, I didn’t know.
*parks the car at a hotel* Finally! We’re at a hotel. Let’s get all of our junk out and get a room.
All get their backpacks out of the car and go inside the hotel…
Everybody wait here in the lobby, I’ll go get some rooms. *walks toward counter, talks to employee, gets a key, and walks back* Bad news. They only have one room available. I guess we’ll have to share it.
Darn!
Come on, Jess. Maybe it won’t be so bad.
Yeah right.
The gang walks upstairs to their room, which happens to be on the top story…
*pants* I’m…too…tired…to…climb…one…more…stair.
We’re almost at the top. You’ll survive.
*still panting* No…I…won’t. Jimmy, carry me…
*whines* No, I want someone to carry me!
Just carry him, James, he’s slowing us down. Plus, he’ll shut up.
Oh okay! *picks up Meowth and carries him until they reach their room*
Finally we made it. *opens hotel door*
*pushes Cassidy out of way* Move! I want to see what the room looks like! *pauses and looks in at the room* Oh no!
What is it, Jess?
*pushes door open so everyone can see the room* Look! It’s such a small room!
This isn’t a five-star hotel, so you shouldn’t have been expecting anything luxurious like a suite.
I didn’t expect it to be this small. And look! There’s only one bed!
*whines* I don’t wanna stay here!
*growls* Look everybody! I’m tired so I don’t want to leave, okay? We’re staying here. If anybody has a sorry problem with it, screw you.
Yeah, Botch, I have a problem.
You are my problem!
Calm down! We’re just gonna have to make do of what we have.
*begins to unpack her stuff and grabs some pajamas* I’m taking a shower first!
Oh no you don’t! I get dibs on the bathroom.
If you get the bathroom first, you’ll stay in there all night long so other people can’t take a shower!
You’re mistaking me for yourself. You would take a 5 hour shower and use up all of the hot water!
while they argue, James sneaks into the bathroom and begins to take a shower
*hears water in the bathtub* Hey! *bangs on bathroom door* James! You get out right now!
*bangs on door* Yeah! I was supposed to get the shower first!
*yells from inside the bathroom* No way! Leave me alone!
Grrrrr…
*emerges from bathroom 10 minutes later* See, I didn’t take forever.
Good, now I finally can take a shower and get washed up.
Wait a minute! Who said it was your turn?
I did.
Well excuse me, but I get the bathroom now!
Not if I get there first!
*both race to the bathroom but find that the door is locked and they hear water running*
Butch! Are you in there?
Who the heck did you think was in here?
*yells* Aaaahhh! It wasn’t your turn!
Well it wasn’t your turn.
Hurry up!
*walks out of bathroom 20 minutes later*
It’s about time!
Yeah, and it’s about time for my shower! *goes into bathroom and takes shower*
*moans* No!
*comes out of bathroom 30 minutes later and says singsongly* Your turn, Cassidy.
*grumbles and goes into bathroom and comes out 40 minutes later*
My, my, someone sure took her time.
Can it. Okay, have we decided who’s sleeping where.
Yeah, I get the bed!
Nope! *hops onto bed* I get it! You sleep on the floor.
No! *whines* I don’t want to sleep on the dirty floor!
It’s not dirty, it’s clean. Now, there’s room for another person. Which pretty girl would like to share the bed with me?
Oh no you don’t! Don’t you even think of it! *pushes Butch off of the bed*
You guys are so stupid! I’m getting the bed all for myself.
You shouldn’t hog the bed all for yourself! I want the bed for myself!
That’s just so like you Cassidy!
I don’t know about da rest of ya, but I’m gonna sleep. *crawls onto the bed and falls asleep*
Oh great. The cat took the bed.
There you go, Botch. Sleep with Meowth.
Shut up, fool! *takes a blanket off the bed and lies on the floor*
Good idea. *covers herself with the blanket*
Come on, James. Let’s get a blanket.
All right. *grabs a blanket and shares it with Jessie*
*later that night…*
*thinks* I need to go to the bathroom. *stands up and walks to the bathroom*
Ow! Watch where you’re walking!
Sorry, I didn’t mean to. *goes into bathroom and relieves himself, then comes out and walks over to his blanket*
Ouch! Don’t step on me! *hits James with pillow*
I’m sorry!
You better be, that was my butt you stepped on!
*laughs* Serves you right, Botch!
Oh yeah? *whaps James with the pillow again*
*picks up his own pillow and smacks Butch in the face with it* Take that!
*yells* Aaahhh! *hits James up-side his head with the pillow*
Take this! *hits Butch on the back with the pillow* And this! *hits Butch on the back again with the pillow*
*yawns sleepily* What’s with all of this racket?!
Help me, Jess! Grab a pillow, we’re at war!
*grumbles and falls back to sleep*
Ha ha! Looks like your girlfriend isn’t gonna help you!
*hits Butch with the pillow* Looks like your girlfriend isn’t helping you out either!
*hits James hard with the pillow on his shoulder* Shut up!
*tries to retaliate but hits Cassidy accidentally with the pillow* Oops.
Wha-?
We need to kill James!
What?
Get a pillow!
Is this a pillow fight or something? Gosh, you guys are more immature than I thought. Go back to bed, we have a long day tomorrow.
*mumbles* Killjoy.
*mumbles sadly* We were having fun.
The next day…
*yawns* Ah! What an excellent night I had! Got plenty of sleep in dat bed.
*grumbles* You were the only one who got any decent sleep around here.
My butt still hurts.
Thanks for sharing that with us.
Serves you right, Botch!
The next time I hit you, it won’t be with a pillow!
Please, can we leave now?
Yeah, let’s hit da road!
The gang goes into the car and continues on their trip. Later on that day…
*yells* Botch! Watch out!
What?
You almost hit that car!
I did not!
Yes you did. *leans over and looks over at the speedometer and gasps* You’re driving too fast! Slow down!
Don’t lean on me! *pushes James away* I’m not going fast.
Yeah you are! I’m scared! Ahhhhh! Watch out! You almost went off the road!
Would you please shut up? I’m trying to concentrate!
Would you please drive better? You’re gonna kill us all!
*groans and drives car to a parking lot and stops* Okay, James. You keep criticizing my driving skills.
No I’m not. You don’t even have any skills to begin with.
Is that so? Here. *hands James the car keys* You drive. Let’s see if you can do better.
That will be easy! *switches seats with Butch*
Do you know how to get to the city?
Sure, I have a map.
*doubtfully* Okay…
The gang continues on their “journey”…
*hums* See, this easy. I’m not going to kill anyone, unlike reckless driver Botch.
*sneers* Yeah, sure.
*laughs* Poor little Botch, needs to go back to driving school.
You are really asking for it.
No I’m not.
Dummy. Isn’t that right, Jessie? *puts arm around her*
*blushes*
I feel bad for you, Jess, for having such a dense partner. Maybe if you spoke with the Boss, you can transfer and be with Cassie and me. *holds her hand*
Hey! What are you doing back there?
Yeah, what is going on back there?
Nothing.
Nothing my foot. Leave Jessie alone!
*glares* Butch…
Okay okay. Sheesh.
Good.
*begins to put his head on her shoulder*
*gasp and pulls car over into the grass* That’s it with you, mister flirty Botch! Jess, you switch seats with Cassidy.
Sure, okay… *switches seats*
Much better. Now you can flirt with Cassidy, little Botch.
Shut your mouth.
You shut your mouth around Jessie and maybe I’ll shut mine.
Later that day, around 1:00pm…
According to this map, we should be there in about two hours.
Good, I can’t wait to get outa dis car. I’m so tired of sitting.
Gosh, I know. If we hit another pot hole again, I think I’m gonna die.
Yeah, James, can’t you avoid them?
I can’t help it! They’re all over the place! *drives car over another hole*
That’s it! I’m going to die right now!
*hits another pot hole* Oops! *sheepishly* Sorry.
James!
*groans*
Oh, be quiet, Jessie. We don’t need you groaning.
*groans again*
Hey Jess, how come your face is all green?
*moans* My stomach…
Oh that’s just great.
What’s the matter, Jess?
*groans* I don’t feel well…
*sighs exasperatedly* James, you better pull over.
Yeah, I better. *pulls car over into grass*
*dashes out of car and throws up behind a tree, then goes back to car* Uhg.
Are you okay, Jess?
Yeah, I think I just got a little carsick, that’s all.
Hah! She didn’t get carsick when I was driving.
Oh, spare us Butch. She got carsick because she’s sitting next to the dumb window.
I’m sorry Jess, but can you stay up here next to the window? I don’t want you back there sitting with…him.
What if she doesn’t want to?
*hits Butch in the ribs with elbow* Don’t make me get mad, Butch. You should know better than that.
It’s okay. I’ll be okay in front. I don’t think I have anything left in my stomach to throw up.
Good, now can we please get movin’?
Oh yeah, sure. *starts car up again and drives*
3:00pm…
Okay, I think we’re almost there!
Are you sure, James? It doesn’t look like we’re nearing a city at all.
Yeah, I don’t see any buildings.
I just see millions of trees.
Where exactly are we, James?
We’re almost there, just be patient!
Okay…
*drives for 10 minutes and then stops the car* Yay! We’re here!
Huh?
What are you talking about?!
We’re here! That’s what I’m talking about!
Um, James, I don’t think so.
What do you mean?
*sighs* Let me see the map.
*hands map over*
*takes map and looks it over* James, do you know what this map is for?
Yeah, it’s a map to Celadon City.
*sighs impatiently* No, James! It’s a map to get to Celadon Lake! *hits James with map*
Nice goin’ Jimmy!
*looks at the large lake in front of him* I say we throw James in the lake!
Yeah! Good idea! Come on, Butch!
No! No!
Well, if we can’t get you in the lake, then I think we should throw this thing in it! *takes James’s rose and tosses it into the lake*
My rose!!! *jumps into lake and gets the rose and sighs happily* Ah, I rescued my poor rose!
James! Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so. But first… *grabs Butch’s leg and pulls him into the lake*
*falls into lake with a big splash* Waaah!
*laughs* That’s what you get, Botch, for messing with my rose and me!
*grumbles*
If you guys are done playing in the water, I would like to get going!
Yeah, I would like to get to the city this time.
*gets out of water* Okay, but how do I get there? I’m lost.
It’s okay, James. Just retrace your steps.
Um, okay! I can do that!
Great! Then let’s go.
8:00pm…
Are we dere yet, Jimbo? I’m tired.
Not yet. I’m still retracing my steps.
*leans over and looks at speedometer* Heh, and you make fun of me for driving too fast.
I’m doing that so I can retrace my steps faster.
Well as long as we get there soon, I don’t care how fast he drives.
Just be careful, James. I don’t want to die in a crash.
Don’t worry, everything will be fine. Why don’t you all relax and try to sleep in the car?
Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. *leans back and closes eyes*
*sighs contentedly* Ahh! A catnap sounds perfect! *curls up in a little ball*
Here, Butch. You can lay your head on my shoulder.
Thanks. *lays head down*
Just don’t drool all over it like you did last time. I swear, I was drowning in all of it.
*blushes*
1:00am…
Hey, wake up everyone!
Are we dere?
Uh huh, I finished retracing our steps. Yay!
Finally. *feels her shoulder* Ewww! Butch!
What?
You need to learn to sleep with your mouth closed! My shoulder is soaked!
*blushes* Sorry…
*sighs* It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to. Now, I want to get out of the car!
Wait a minute. Why does this place look so familiar? *gets out of car and looks around* James!! You really did it this time!
Did what?
We are back at our apartment!
Oh my gosh!
For heaven’s sake James, what did you do?!
I just did what Jess told me to do.
Which was…
She said to retrace my steps, so that’s what I did!
James, I meant to retrace your steps back to where we were on the correct road. Not to retrace all of our steps to back home!
Ohhh, now I see what you were saying.
Thanks a lot James. I just wasted my life.
I know! What a waste of two days! I could have been doing something more useful!
*grumbles and notices Meowth laughing* What are you laughing at, cat?
*laughs* Dis had to be da best trip eva!