She walked down Route 38, her faithful Suicune treading noiselessly at her side. “She” was Dawn Silvers, trainer ID number 11016.
She spoke quietly to Suicune as she walked. After all, she didn’t need to concentrate on a map, the way most trainers did. It was almost comical to see a trainer walking around, nose buried in a map. Really, it was a wonder they didn’t walk into a tree. She wanted to laugh just thinking of it. She’d traveled this road before, of course. There weren’t many in Kanto or Johto that she hadn’t. Dawn was, after all, the current League champion. Twenty badges, too- eight from Kanto, eight from Johto, four from the Orange Islands. She’d conquered the league there too. Someday she hoped to start her own gym. But for now she was content to travel and battle.
As she spoke to Suicune, she brushed back her waist-length brown hair impatiently. Her brown eyes sparkled vividly, and she occasionally shifted her black backpack. She was wearing a plain white T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, blue denim tennis shoes, and a brown leather belt.
“We ought to reach Olivine City in a few days, Suicune.”
“I believe you. You’ve never gotten lost before.”
Then, a shout came from the road behind her.
“Hey!”
Dawn paused, then turned around and was about to walk back to see who had called to her. But there was no need to backtrack; they were running toward her. It was just three kids around her age, give or take a year or two.
“Hey, wait up!”
Dawn waited. In a few seconds, they had caught up to her. She waited for them to speak, but the run had left them totally breathless.
A boy who was the youngest (apparently) of the group spoke first. “I’m Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town and I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!”
“I’m Dawn Silvers.”
The apparent oldest, a tanned boy with spiky hair, had regained some semblance of wits. “Hi, I’m Brock…” Hearts had replaced his eyes. “You’re so beautiful…”
“Ignore him.” The only girl present (besides Dawn) spoke. “I’m Misty. If you’ll excuse us…” She dragged Brock off by the ear, then proceeded to pull out a mallet and beat him back to some form of normalcy.
“Sure, I’ll battle,” Dawn was totally unfazed by Ash’s, um… eccentric traveling companions. “Three on three, no time limit, anything goes.”
“Fine by me!” said Ash. “Just try not to cry when I beat you.”
“Well, try not to scream when I beat you,” She said, totally unimpressed. “ But if you think you can beat me, go for it!”
“I can beat you, you’re just a girl!”
“JUST a GIRL? JUST A GIRL?” She pulled out her mallet and gave him an extremely hard whack. “You’re gonna pay for that one! Let’s go!”
Brock was going to referee. He called out the rules to them. “You may only use three Pokemon. There’s not time limit. Any questions?”
“Yeah, who’s gonna notify his next of kin?” Dawn called. Misty fell over laughing and Brock and Ash facefaulted. Ash recovered enough to send out Heracross.
Dawn grinned. A Heracross? This would be easier than she thought! “I choose you- Bulb!” She threw her Pokeball and a Venusaur appeared.
“Heracross, tackle!”
“Catch it with your Vine Whip, Bulb!” In a split second, Heracross was flailing in Bulb’s vines. “Now toss it!”
“Heracross, get back up! Now use your Horn Attack!”
“Stop him with a Solarbeam!”
Heracross went flying and fainted on impact.
“Heracross is unable to battle. Bulb wins round one!” Brock yelled.
Ash scowled. “Go, Noctowl!”
“Good job, Bulb. Return!” Dawn sized up Ash’s Noctowl. “It’s your turn, Suicune!”
Ash pulled out his Pokedex. “Suicune. A water-type Legendary Pokemon. This Pokemon runs at extreme speed.”
“Suicune, use your Bubblebeam!”
“A water-type…” sighed Misty. “It’s so pretty…”
The attack hit Noctowl straight in the chest.
“Noctowl, Hypnosis!”
“Don’t look directly in its eyes, Suicune!” warned Dawn. “Now blast it with some Icy Wind!”
Noctowl was instantly K.O.’d. Ash, looking very mad, recalled his Pokemon. “Noctowl, return!”
“Noctowl is unable to battle. The round goes to Suicune.” called Brock.
“Good one, Suicune. And now you’re up… Espeon!”
“Show them what you can do, Pikachu!”
Dawn bit her lip to hold back her smile. He was trying hard. Not bad, she thought. He’s got potential.
“Pikachu, thunder attack NOW!”
“Send it back, Espeon! Don’t let it hit you!”
Espeon stopped the bolt of electricity halfway, then sent it back to Pikachu.
“Now show off your Psychic attack!” Dawn cried out. Espeon sent a crackling ball of psychic energy straight at Pikachu. It hit square on. Pikachu struggled to its feet.
“Pikachu, keep going! Thunderbolt!”
“Reverse the bolt, Espeon!” Espeon did so, and the Thunderbolt rebounded back on Pikachu.
“Aaagh!” (A/N: Or “Pikaaaa!”, if you prefer.)
“Pikachu is unable to battle. Dawn and Espeon win the match!” Brock cried.
Dawn pulled a Revive from her backpack and walked over to Ash, who was cradling Pikachu in his arms. She knelt next to him. “Here, give him some of this.”
“Thanks. That was a good battle,” He gave Pikachu the Revive. Pikachu opened his eyes.
“Ash!”
Ash hugged him. Brock and Misty walked over. Then Misty said ‘Why don’t you have lunch with us? We were about to stop anyway.”
“Sure, I’d love to,” Dawn smiled.
Brock then started to drool. Dawn stepped back uneasily. “Is he always like this?”
Misty shrugged. “Only around girls other than me.”
A few minutes later…
Brock crouched by a small campfire, cooking a pot of stew. Ash and Dawn were sitting on a log together, discussing Pokemon and trainer tips. Dawn had a pad of paper out and was writing a letter to her little sister Angel as they talked. Misty was sitting on another log, listening to Ash and Dawn while tending Togepi. Dawn was noting what Ash said about his training methods in the letter, thinking Angel might like some tips.
“Dear Angie, I met some trainers today. There’s one- Ash (like the tree). Judging from his battling, he’s got potential; but judging from his conversation, he’s got the intelligence of a stump. And I’m not kidding. Here are some trainer tips from him (I hope you’re not desperate enough to follow them): Only train in battle. Never even TOUCH your Pokedex unless you see a Pokemon. Never study so that you always look like a dolt in front of your rival. Use Pokemon attacks on humans so you’ll win. Don’t bother training because your Pokemon evolve in battle if they have to. No matter how many times you’ve seen a Pokemon, pull out your Pokedex and listen to its data. Angel, can you believe this dolt?”
Suddenly Ash asked Dawn “Where have I seen you before? I’m sure I have…”
Dawn waited quietly. Was Ash always this slow on the uptake?
“Hey, that’s why you look familiar! You’re the current Pokemon Master!”
“Well, whaddya know. Next he’ll discover that water is wet,” Dawn said sarcastically.
Brock tried unsuccessfully to choke back his laughter as Misty openly snickered. They gave up and howled, leaning on each other for support.
“What?” Dawn said innocently. “I was being serious!”
This sent Misty and Brock into further fits of laughter.
Dawn attempted to change the subject. “So, Ash, how long have you had Pikachu?”
“He was my first-ever Pokemon. We’re best friends!”
His best friend is a furry yellow rat? This kid is really screwed up! Doesn’t he have human friends?
Meanwhile, Misty and Brock had gone back to normal. Sort of. Well, they weren’t laughing anymore. That had to count for SOMETHING.
“So can I see the rest of your Pokemon? I wanna know what kinds a Pokemon Master has!”
“Sure!” Dawn removed five Pokeballs from her belt. “Come on out, everybody!”
Five flashes of red light followed. Ash watched as an Espeon, Venusaur, Ampharos, Typhlosion, and Houndoom appeared.
“Whoa! What’s that?” Ash asked, pointing to Ampharos. He pulled out good ol’ Dexter and pointed it at each of Dawn’s Pokemon.
“Ampharos. The light Pokemon. The bright light on its tail can be seen far away. It has been treasured since ancient times as a beacon.
Typhlosion. The volcano Pokemon. It has a secret, devastating move. It rubs its blazing fur together to create huge explosions.
Houndoom. The dark Pokemon. Upon hearing its eerie howls, other Pokemon get the shivers and head straight back to their nests.
Espeon. The sun Pokemon. By reading air currents, it can predict things such as the weather or its foe’s next move.”
Meanwhile, in the bushes…
“Jessie, look at this!” James squealed.
“Let me see!” Jessie snapped. She grabbed the binoculars from him. Unfortunately, they were on a cord around James’ neck.
“Jessie…you’re choking me…” He was rapidly turning blue. Jessie looked at him and removed the cord from his neck. The she pulled out her mallet.
“Well, you idiot, you should have taken them off the cord before you gave them to me!” She bopped him a good one and put the mallet away.
“Look at all doze rare Pokemon she’s got!” squeaked Meowth.
“That Suicune would make a handsome gift for the Boss.” Jessie admitted.
“And dere’s Pikachu too!” Meowth added.
“The Boss will love all of them. Eheeheeheeheehee!” cackled James.
And in another convenient clump of bushes nearby…
“How can we catch all those great Pokemon, Cassidy? They beat the twerp’s Pokemon!” Butch croaked.
“Don’t worry, Butch. We just need to get them to the Boss, then they’re HIS problem. All we need to get them is something that’s shock-proof, flame-proof, Razor Leaf-proof, water-proof, and psy-proof.”
“Easier said than done!”
“Raticate!”
“Oh, shut up and get back in your Pokeball!” Cassidy recalled her Pokemon.
(Cut back to the campsite.)
“So these are your Pokemon?” asked Misty.
“Of course. What, did you think I was in Team Rocket and stole them?”
“They look pretty tough.” observed Brock.
Meanwhile, Espeon had gotten just the teeniest bit bored. He telepathically lifted the cover of the stewpot and balanced it carefully on Brock’s head. He reached up and pulled it off.
“Good girl.” Misty grinned mischievously at Espeon.
“Actually, my Espeon’s male.” Dawn told her. Misty went bright red and facefaulted.
Brock did a rapid subject-change. “The stew’s ready!” They all sat down to eat. Brock and Ash grabbed their spoons and shoveled down their food in about two seconds.
“Are you going to eat that?” Ash asked Dawn.
She leaned over to Misty. “Do they always eat like that?”
“Yes.”
“But they’re total pigs!”
“Don’t I know it.”
Both of them shut up and finished eating.
“So where are you headed?” Dawn asked Ash.
“Olivine City.”
“Really? I’m headed there myself.”
Then, they heard “ominous” music.
“Prepare for trouble!”
“Make it double!”
Jessie and James dropped out of a tree at one end of the clearing.
“To protect the world from devastation!”
“To unite all peoples within our nation!”
“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”
“To extend our reach to the stars above!”
“Jessie!”
“James!”
“Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!”
“Surrender now or prepare to fight!”
Meowth somersaulted out of the tree. “Meowth, dat’s right!”
“Not you again!” wailed Ash. Dawn recalled all her Pokemon except Suicune.
Then, from the other end of the clearing came ANOTHER blast of ominous music. Two voices shouted “Prepare for trouble and make it double!”
Everyone turned toward the sound. Butch and Cassidy vaulted out of THEIR tree and continued their motto.
“To infect the world with devastation!”
“To blight all peoples in every nation!”
“To denounce the goodness of truth and love!”
“To extend our wrath to the stars above!”
“Cassidy!”
“Butch!”
“We’re Team Rocket, circling earth all day and night!”
“Surrender to us now or you’ll surely lose the fight!”
“That’s right!”
Raticate dropped between Butch and Cassidy. “Raticate!”
“Not you AGAIN!” moaned Dawn. “Don’t you ever give up?”
“Team Rocket never qui- what is SHE doing here?” Cassidy stared at Jessie with an expression of total hatred on her face.
Jessie was looking back with the exact same expression.
Then James looked at Butch. “What are YOU doing here, Botch?”
“The name is Butch!”
Then all five (A/N: Meowth does too count as a TR member!) Rockets spoke at once. “We’re here to capture the twerps’ Pokemon!”
“That Dawn girl has a good team, and that Pikachu will make a great gift for the Boss.” drawled Cassidy.
“You can’t have them!” cried an enraged Jessie. “We were here first!”
Cassidy pulled down her eyelid and stuck out her tongue. “Tough luck, Jessie. They’re ours now, so there!”
Butch rolled his eyes so far upward that his pupils weren’t even showing. James was sighing with an I-am-so-bored expression on his face. And Meowth was so upset with the childish display that he fury-swiped the nearest person.
Unfortunately, he was right next to Cassidy.
“My face! You stupid cat!” Cassidy screeched. “You’ll pay for this, you mangy Meowth!”
While Cassidy was screaming, Jessie, James, and Meowth calmly walked over to the stunned “Twerp Troupe” and picked up Pikachu and Suicune. Suicune vaulted away and dashed back to Dawn. She recovered from her shock and called Suicune to stay behind her.
“Pikachu-”
“Quick! RUN!” Dawn screamed. “Before he can-“
“Thunder attack, NOW!” Ash finished.
The two groups of Rockets flew off in opposite directions. “Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!”
“So do you want to travel with us?” Ash asked Dawn.
She smiled. “Only as far as Mt. Silver. I’m on my way there and thought that it’d be fun to retrace my original route, so I’ll be on the same trails as you anyway.”
(Cut to a clump of- ow! - rosebushes)
“Butch, this is all your fault!” Cassidy raged.
“Me? It’s the twerps’ fault! We never beat them!”
(Cut to a tree in the middle of a forest a few miles from the blast site.)
“Ugh. I hate blasting off.” James groaned.
“Shut up and stop whining, James. Now get me down!” Jessie shrieked.
Meowth hopped out and landed on his feet. Cats.
James hopped out too. If Meowth can land on his feet, I can land on mine, he reminded himself.
He landed on his head. Jessie swung out and used James to break her fall.
“Let’s go, youse two. We gotta find a payphone and call Mondo.” snarled Meowth. He led them along the road…
An hour and four miles later, they got to a call box at the side of the road. Jessie picked up the phone and dialed Team Rocket Headquarters. Fortunately, between the three of them they dug up enough change so that they didn’t have to call collect. And by a stroke of good luck (their first ever), Mondo answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mondo. It’s us.”
“Hi Jessie! Where are you?”
“Hold on.” She covered the speaker end of the phone. “James, where are we?”
“Route 39, Jess.”
She uncovered the phone. “We’re at a call box on Route 39. Hurry up!”
Half an hour later, Mondo’s red Jeep came rumbling down the dirt road.
“About time!” yelled Jessie. “You took long enough!”
“I got here as fast as I could.” replied Mondo. “I had to stick to the speed limit; what if an Officer Jenny pulled me over and found out I was only fifteen? I’d get busted for driving without a license!”
“Ok, you’ve got a point.” Jessie conceded.
“Yeah, well, here are the Rocket Dinners, and your new balloon. So what happened?”
“We almost got a Suicune.” James said.
“ALMOST.” said Meowth.
“And that dratted Pikachu!”
“ALMOST.”
“Oh, shut up!” Jessie whapped Meowth with her fan.
“Well, I’ve gotta get going. See ya!” Mondo sped off, the Jeep kicking up clouds of dust.
“Let’s go, then. Back to the road.” James sighed.