Disclaimer: I don't own Butch, Cassidy, Jesse, James, Mondo, or anything else associated with Team Rocket or Pokemon. The only things I can really claim to be my own are Ria the talkshow hostess, and the hypnotist with the bad french accent.I made those two up.
Author's Note: I just want to say first of all, in this fanfic, the
idea of Cassidy having P.M.S and Butch being hormone driven
wasn't originally my idea. I just used the idea of that from the
wonderful webmistress of Frogs vs. Roses, who is sooooo nice
to post all of my fanfics!! Thanks! Secondly.........the way Butch
acts in this fanfic about the 'Froggo' thing, is probably how he
really does feel, and people shouldn't make fun of his voice.
Butch: Yeah!!
CorgiGirl: Exactly. :::::::hugs Butch:::::::
Cassidy: ::::::protectively:::::: BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!
Butch: Jeez, it's only a hug.....
CorgiGirl: Yeah........
Cassidy: :::::::pulls out mallet::::::: He's Mine......
CorgiGirl: :::::::backs away::::::: Heh heh...........on with the
story, then. Here it is!
The actual Fanfiction
:::::::on the set of the Opinions show:::::::::
TV announcer guy: And now, for another show of Opinions! Heeeeeeeere's
your
hostess, Ria!!!
Ria: ::::walks out on stage:::: Hello!!
Audience: ::::::cheers::::::::::
Ria: Great, let's start the show!! Today, we're having a special episode.
It's about hair.
Audience: ::::::acts confused:::::::
Ria: We're gonna give somebody a makeover.
Audience: Oooohhhhhhhhh, Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!
Ria: :::::like she's talking to 3 year olds:::::: Yeah. But..........
now,...... we.......are.......going......to...... bring........ out.....
Cassidy........ and..........Butch......... okay?
Audience member: :::::stands up:::::::: But everytime you've brought any Rockets on this show, it's been a total disaster!
Ria: Yeah, you'd think I learned my lesson by now, huh? Well, anyways,
Cassidy has a 'surprise' for her enemy, Jesse.
Audience member: :::::still standing::::: But why would you give your enemy a present?
Ria: :::::glares at him:::::: It's not a nice surprise, genius. You ask
to many questions. Wanna meet my pet?
:::::::::an evil looking Houndoom runs on stage and growls
menacingly::::::::::
Audience member: No ma'am. ::::sits down::::
Ria: Smart boy. Anyways, here's Butch and Cassidy!
:::::::::::::::Butch and Cassidy walk out on stage, and wave to the
audience before sitting down on the sofa::::::::::::::
Ria: :::::to Butch:::::: Are we calmer today?
Butch: ::::::mumbling:::::::: ......it wasn't my fault........the stupid cookies made me do it.....dumb evil cookies........
Cassidy: We didn't bring Raticate, either.
Ria: :::::glares at audience::::::: That's a good thing. So anyways,
Cassidy, why don't you tell us what you've planned for Jesse.
Cassidy: ::::happily:::: Haircut!
Ria: Why did you want us to give her a haircut?
Cassidy: Because I despise her and I want to see her expression when we
cut off her dumb red hair that she loves so much. As a matter of fact, I want
to give a haircut to James too! Let's see the look on Jesse's face when we
cut off her boyfriend's hair!! Hahahaha!!
Ria: Ok..........I'm sensing rivalry here. But if you wanted this, then
why did Butch come?
Cassidy: Because I want Butch to cut Jesse's hair off! Haha!! And he can
cut off James' hair too! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Ria:...................uh, why Butch?
Cassidy:.............................because................um.......
::::she doesn't know why:::: ....Butch can't cut hair pretty?
Butch: :::in a very low voice::: P.M.S.
Cassidy: What did you say? ::::glaring at him::::
Butch: I said you're the most wonderful, beautiful, good-looking,
lovable, coolest partner a guy could ever ask for and you're my favorite
person in the whole world. ::::smiles innocently and convincingly::::
Audience: Awwwwwwww!!!!!
Cassidy: :::::Bambi eyes:::::: Really?
Butch: Of course! ::::flashes another one of his lovable, adorable
smiles::::
Cassidy: Aw! :::::gives Butch a hug:::::
Ria: :::::quietly to Butch::::: Nice save.
Butch: :::::quietly back::::: It's a gift.
Ria: Anyways, it's time to bring out Jesse and James! They have no idea
why they're here. Jesse? James? Come on out!
::::::::::::::::::::: Jesse and James walk out on stage, and sit down in
chairs beside B&C's sofa after waving to the audience :::::::::::::::::::::
James: ::::pouts:::: Everytime we come on a show here, Botch and Cassidy
ALWAYS get the sofa!!
Butch: MY NAME'S BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
James: :::::whining::::: You hurt my ears, Botch!
Jesse: :::::hits James with a mallet::::: Stop complaining! I want to
know WHY James and I are here! And I want to know why those two ::::she
points to Cassidy and Butch:::: are here too!
Ria: :::::covering, J&J aren't supposed to know they're getting
haircuts::::: You're going to be hypnotized in order to undergo a government
experiment where we study brainwaves.
James: :::::whines::::: I don't know what you just said, but I'm scared!
Eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Butch: :::::whispering to Cassidy::::: That was a nice cover up.
Cassidy: ::::::whispers back::::: Yep. Personally, I didn't think Ria was
smart enough to use such big words.
Jesse: Then why are Butch and Cassidy here?
Ria: They're going to get hypnotized too.
Jesse and James: Ohhhhhhhh............
Ria: ::::cheerfully:::: So let's get started! First, we'll bring out the<
hypnotist-
Jesse: :::::interrupts::::: Wait! How do we know you won't
do................stuff...........to us while we're out cold?
Ria: ................stuff? What kind of stuff? ::::: completely
clueless::::
Butch: Hey!! I'm the hormone-driven guy around here! If anybody does
'stuff', it'll be me!
Ria: ::::gets it now::::: UGH!!!!!!!!! SICK!!!!!!!
Cassidy: Butch!! That isn't something to be proud of!!!
Butch: Hey! ::::::strikes a dramatic pose:::::: I have a proud tradition
of sick-mindedness to uphold!
Cassidy: Sick-mindedness isn't a word!!!!!!!
Butch: IS TOO!
Cassidy: IS NOT!
Butch: IS TOO!!
Cassidy: IS NOT!!
James: I never thought I'd see the day when Cassidy and Botch would fight.
Butch: :::::cringes at the mis-pronunciation of his name::::: OK, THAT'S
IT!!! :::::he stands and picks up a chair::::: THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU'LL
GET MY NAME WRONG, BLUE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Butch starts chasing James around the studio
with the chair, trying to hit him over the head with
it::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
James: AHHHH!!! THAT HURTS!!!!!!!!!
Butch: SAY BUTCH!!!!!!!!!! B-U-T-C-H!!!!!!!!!! BUTCH, BUTCH,
BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR YOU, PEA-BRAIN?!?!?!?!?!!! SAY
BUTCH, #@&* IT!!!!
James: JESSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Butch: MY NAME IS BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cassidy: My god. My partner finally snapped.
Jesse: Just like you, Cassidy.
Cassidy: SHUT UP!!!!
Jesse: YOU SHUT UP!!!!!
:::::::::they break out into an argument:::::::::
Ria: :::::puts head in hands::::: At this rate, we'll never get to the
haircuts....
Jesse, James, Butch, Cassidy: ::::::freeze:::::::
James: Haircut?
Jesse: HAIRCUT?!?!?!!
Butch: :::::glares::::: Bad secret keeper!
Cassidy: You weren't supposed to tell!!!!
Ria: Oopsie. It.................uh.............slipped up? Heh heh.......
Mondo: ::::::::::::all of a sudden appears out of nowhere and runs on
stage::::::::::: HI!!!!!!!!! SUGAR FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!! :::::::he pulls
out a large vat of sugar from behind his back, and throws it up into the
air:::::: LOOK!!!!!!!! IT'S SNOWING SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!! La dee da.........
::::::::::::::::::::::the vat of sugar lands, and breaks, causing sugar
to go everywhere. everyone's clothes are covered in white
splotches:::::::::::::::::
Butch: ARGHHH, YOU MORON!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO GET THIS UNIFORM
DRY-CLEANED!!!!!!!!!!
Mondo: Who cares? It's sugar!!
James: Yeah, lighten up, Botch.
Butch: ::::::is reminded of why he was chasing James with a chair::::::
BUTCH!!!!!!!!! IT'S BUTCH!!!!!! NOT BOTCH, BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::::::starts chasing James with a chair yet again::::::
Ria: ::::sweatdrops::::
Jesse: I AM NOT GETTING A HAIRCUT!!!
Cassidy: OH, YES YOU ARE, AND BUTCH IS GOING TO CUT IT ALL OFF!!!!!
Jesse: BUTCH?!?! I'M NOT LETTING FROGGO CUT MY HAIR!!!
Butch: ::::::freezes::::::
Cassidy: Uh oh...........you shouldn't of done that.......
Jesse: What?
James: :::::is relieved he isn't being chased anymore:::::
Butch: ::::::glares at Jesse::::::: ............Froggo?........
Jesse: Uh.........
Butch: .........Froggo?..........
Jesse: ........er........
Butch: Did you just call me........FROGGO?
Jesse: Um................yes?
Cassidy: He's been very touchy about his voice lately......
Butch: :::::turns away from James, and starts chasing Jesse with the
chair:::::: NOBODY CALLS ME FROGGO AND LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!!!! DO YOU
THINK I LIKE SOUNDING THIS WAY?! IT ISN'T MY FAULT!!!!!!! :::::::he rambles
on and on about his being misliked by lots of people just because of his
voice and how nobody deserves to be treated as bad as he is by society::::::::
Jesse: AHHHHHHH!!!! ::::::is almost hit by Butch swinging the chair:::::::
Ria: :::::shaking head no::::: This is sad.......
Audience: :::::is laughing:::::
Butch: ::::is a little tired from all the chasing he's done today. he
stops and puts the chair down, but then he thinks about how bad people really
DO think about him because of his voice. he falls back onto the sofa, now
sitting down and looking very forlorn::::
Ria: Hey, what's the matter with him?
James: He doesn't look too happy.
Jesse: At least he stopped chasing people with that chair.........
Cassidy: What's the matter Butch?
Butch: :::::bangs his head down on the table::::: Everybody hates me.
Audience: Awwwwwww!! ::::sympathetically::::
Jesse: Yep, that's pretty much it.
Butch: ::::even more depressed now:::::
Cassidy: What? Everybody doesn't hate you, Butch! ::::glares at Jesse:::::
Ria: Why's he think everybody hates him?
Cassidy: People tease him all the time.............I guess when Jesse
called him froggo that finally did it for him today........:::::glares at
Jesse again::::::
Jesse: ::::grins:::: Who? Me? Did I do something bad?
James: Botch sure had a sudden personality change. One minute, he's
chasing everybody, and the next thing we know, he's in a depressive state.
Butch: ::::::doesn't even notice when James pronounces his name
wrong::::: I sound like............
..........a chainsaw.
Cassidy: Aw, Butch, no you don't! I like your voice! It's very deep, and
it sounds really nice.
Butch: :::looks up::: ...........really?
Cassidy: Yes.
Jesse: Cassidy's the only person who could love a voice like that.
Butch: ::::looks down again, sad::::
James: Jesse, I know it's Botch, but that WAS a little mean, don't you
think?
Cassidy: ::::angrier at Jesse than normal:::: WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE THE
POOR GUY ALONE!?!!??! YOU'RE NOT HELPING AT ALL!!!
Jesse: I try.
Cassidy: ::::takes Butch by the hand and drags him out into the
hallway:::: Come on, Butch.
Butch: :::::offers no resistance:::::
Ria: Um................I guess we're not hypnotizing Jesse and James and
giving them makeovers............uh, I guess that's the end of the show. Bye
everybody....
Audience members: :::::leave:::::
Jesse: Come on, James. Let's go.
James: Can we get donuts?
Jesse: Fine, whatever.
Mondo: :::::was still standing on the stage:::: Can I come too?
Jesse: Fine, just don't bring any of your sugar.
Mondo: Yayness!!!!!
::::::::::::::::J,J, & M leave::::::::::::::::::::
Hypnotist: :::::he was going to hypnotize J&J::::: I hope you know zat
you still have to pay me.
Ria: WHAT?!!?!! BUT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!
Hypnotist: :::::in a bad french accent:::: You have wasted my valuable
time, madamoiselle.
Ria: But.......but........but......
Hypnotist: I shall expect a check in ze mail. Goodbye, madamoiselle.
:::::leaves:::::
Ria: I don't have the money!!! Maybe I can ask Butch and Cassidy for some
to borrow......I hope I catch them before they leave!! Maybe they haven't
already left....:::::runs off to find B&C:::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::out in the
hallway:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::::Cassidy has been trying to convince Butch ever since she drug him
out here that there's nothing wrong with his voice, he sounds fine to her,
and it doesn't matter what the people that don't like his voice think because
they're probably mostly deadbeats anyways.::::::::
Cassidy: Come on, Butch, you have to stop thinking this way!
Butch: ::::depressed:::: Cass, Jesse was right. I sound terrible......
Cassidy: No you don't!! You sound just perfect to me, and that's all that
matters!
Butch: ::::: sighs:::::
Cassidy: So what do you think, now?
Butch: I..................guess you're right.....I don't know, Cassie.
Cassidy: I am right Butch. There's nothing wrong with you.
Butch: ..........ok. If you say there's not..... :::::hugs Cassidy:::::
....then there's not.
Cassidy: :::::hugs back:::::
Butch: ::::::gives her another one of his adorable, heart melting
smiles::::::: You always know exactly what to say.
Ria: ::::::runs up to them:::::: Yay, Butch feels better,
alright...........um, I need a favor now.
Butch: What is it?
Ria: Er, I need money to pay the hypnotist.
Cassidy: Way to ruin our moment, Ria.....
Butch: :::::groans in a frustrated tone and takes out his wallet::::: How
much is it?
Ria: Uh, ........................seven thousand, three hundred, forty-two
dollars and....uh, fifteen cents.
Butch: :::::::eyes grow wide as dinner plates and he drops his
wallet:::::::
Cassidy: WHAT?!
Ria: Yeah, I know it's a little much, but I'll pay you back in fifty two
years when I get the money. I promise!
Butch: Yeah, right.
Cassidy: Ria, you still haven't paid us back that two-hundred dollars you
owe us from LAST year.
Ria: .........but......but.......I'll pay you back!! I'll let you have
anything!! My.....my....my Persian!! My Raichu!! My....my bike!!! My house!!!
My absolute favorite thouroughbred Rapidash!!! My yacht!!!!
Butch and Cassidy: YOU HAVE A YACHT?!?!!!
Ria: Well.........no..........but I was thinking that if I could get your
money now by lying, I could tell the truth later when it was too late for you
to say no.
Cassidy:....................:::::::sweatdrops:::::::::........we don't
have time for this.
Butch: Now that I'm feeling better, come on, Cass. Let's go get ice cream.
Cassidy: Ok.
::::::::::::::::::B&C leave:::::::::::::
Ria: :::::::standing there::::::::
But....................but.............but.................. oh yeah?! Well,
I'll just borrow money from Jesse and James then!!!!
Butch: ::::::calls from down the hallway::::: Go ahead!!! They don't have
any!!!!!
Ria: :::::::::bangs head on wall:::::::::: Why me? :::::::::cries:::::::::
Epilouge
Butch and Cassidy went out to get ice cream, and were happy. Jesse,
James, and Mondo went out
and got donuts, resulting in Mondo being very hyper-active. But they were
still happy. Ria, however, is now
in a $7,542 debt, including the two hundred that she owes Butch and Cassidy.
The hypnotist sued. So,
eventually, everyone was happy except the bankrupt talk show hostess.
Ria: ::::::::cries:::::::::: My money.... ::::::::cries:::::::: ....my
thouroughbred Rapidash...... ::::::::cries:::::::::
.........my house........ ::::::::cries::::::::: ........my cabin in the
mountains........ :::::::cries::::::::: ..........it's gone!!! All of it!!
:::::::::::::::breaks down into tears::::::::::::::::
Butch: I almost feel sorry for her.
Cassidy: Almost.
Hypnotist: Yays!! I got ze money I wanted!! And a new house, and a cabing
in ze mountains, and, as ze American childrenz call eet, a horsie!!!
Ria's throughbred Rapidash: ::::::::neighs:::::::::
Ria: :::::::::cries:::::::::
Mondo: Yipee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIP YIP YIP YIPEE YI YO!!!!!!!!!!!
DONUTS!!!!!!!!! YAYNESS YAYNESS!!!!!
James: Eeeeeeeeee!! I love donuts!!
Jesse: Hmmmm......:::::::::thinks a moment:::::::::: I guess I don't
really have anything to say.
THE END
CorgiGirl88: Finished! Any comments, flames, or anything email me at
CorgiGirl88@aol.com. Thanks!