Dont Trust Used Car Dealers!
Don't Trust Used Car Dealers
By Lisa
It was another lovely day in the orange islands. Nothing could disturb the
calm beauty that covered the landscape, not even the bickering of two
teenagers....but the bickering of two teenage team rocket agents who were
almost as well known for the guy’s scratchy voice (which sounds remarkable
similar to a garbage disposal) as they were for they’re evil deeds was a
completely different matter.
“Stop yelling at me, Butch. It’s not my fault your convertible was stolen.
I did lock the doors after all.” Cassidy defended.
“But you left the roof down and you parked it in the Team Rocket Parking
garage! What type of ditz would leave a new car in a garage made for
thieves?!” he shouted, on the verge of pulling his hair out.
“Geez, I make one mistake and you never let it drop! I can’t believe you!
And would you please stop talking, you’re bothering my Raticate!”she
gestured towards the twitching rat on the ground.
The poor things’ large ears cursed it with good hearing.
“Anyways, I can’t believe you’re being such a jerk!” she yelled through
fake tears.
“All day long I cook and slave for you and what thanks do I get! I gave you
the best years of my life...everyday I made you breakfast, clean the
house...and where were you! Out having a good time with your friends while
I’m home raising our children and working my hands to the bone! You didn’t
even relies that poor little Timmy had the chicken pox! What type of
husband and father are you!”
Her partner looked away and shifted from foot to foot.
“Cassidy...I didn’t relies...” he started.
“Don’t just don’t! Just go get another car so we don’t have to walk the
rest of the way!” she sobbed and pointed down the road in the general
direction of a used car lot they saw about 20 or so miles back.
Butch was left speechless (The Raticate was very thankful for this). So,
without a word, he began walking toward the car dealer ship wallowing in
guilt.
About 10 miles down the road Butch stopped.
“Wait a minute! Me and Cassidy ain’t married and who the heck is Timmy?!”
***
Meanwhile at the ‘Rocketmobile’ car dealership...
“Having car trouble?”
“Then make it to our dealership on the double!”
“Is your car a humiliation?”
“Then drop by automobile station!”
“To denounce the evils of the ‘Love Bug’!”
“To extend our prices to the stars above!”
“Jessie!”
“James!”
“Rocketmobiles will find you a car that’s just right!”
“But the fine print is our delight...”
“Meowth...yeah right...” meowth interrupted, and smiled with glee as his
partners slipped and fell off the car they were posing on because he had
distracted them.
“You just want easy access to the backseat of a car...” he added and then
ducked the hubcap that was thrown at him.
Luckily for meowth, the bell on the door rang and the Jessie and James
peered over the counter to see who their next victim...er...I mean, customer
was.
“It’s Butch!” They yipped and ducked back behind the counter.
“Jessie, can we honestly cheat a fellow team rocket member?” asked James as
he straightened his tie.
“Well, we already stole his car...”she answered as she straightened her
mustache.
“Good point”
“Welcome to rocketmobiles!” Jessie said in the deepest voice she could
manage.
“um...hi...”Butch answer uncertainly. He could have sworn he recognized
those two...
“you are here to buy a car...aren’t you?” the red haired rocket asked
thinking he might have recognize them.
“’Cause only paying customers are allowed to use the restroom.” James added
completely clueless as normal.
Jessie hit him.
“Yeah...I need a car, mine was stolen.” he said, giving up on trying to
place names with their faces. He probably had a one night stand with them
in the past or something.
“Great! Follow us!” James peeped and dashed out the door.
Once the three of them had reached the car lot, Jessie and James stopped and
did one of their trade mark show girls poses . Only they were dressed as
guys so it didn’t work as well as it normally would.
“right here is our deluxe model. It comes with four wheels and runs.”
Jessie said pointing towards a hunk of rust held together with duck taped
and dirt.
“It’s a lawn mower.” Butch observed.
“no duh.” James answered.
“Well...I kinda wanted a car...hey! what’s that!” Butch said catching glance
of a car hidden under a tarp hidden behind a road sign .
he ran off to see it and the ‘car dealers’ sweat dropped before running to
catch up with him.
“This is great!” Butch cheered as he looked the car over.
“It’s just like my old car...same color, same seat covers...oh my god...it
even has a cigarette burn mark on the same seat as mine did...on the same
spot even! wow! How much?”
“$20,000.” Jessie answered, figuring if he was dumb enough not to relies it
was his car he would be dumb enough to pay that much for a used car.
Butch reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple ones and a bunch of
change.
“I got $6.72, some lint, and a ticket stub.”
Jessie and James looked at each other, then at Butch, back at each other
then pulled out their ‘special’ contract.
“We’ll take that as a down payment.”
“you just have to sign this contract.”
“What’s it say?” he asked with that rough voice of his.
“oh, just the usual.” Jams replied.
“Yeah, it just basically says that you have to pay use back...and sign over
all your things if you die, give us any large amount of money you come
across, all you CDs, you soul, ect ect ect...” Jessie continued ...saying
the last few parts a bit to low for Butch to hear.
“OK” he croaked and signed away his life and any chance of every making
something of himself.
After grabbing the contract, the rocket duo tossed him the keys and ran back
to the show room.
“Sweet.” Butch said, ignoring the field full of twitching ratattas.
***
“meowth! we sold a car!” the teenagers told meowth while joy hugging.
“I see.” the cat pokemon said doubtfully. “to who?”
“Butch.”
“Did you make sure ya were paid in full.”
“no.”
“yous do relies he’s probably not gonna pay yous back, right?”
“yes...”
“But we were tired of hearing him talk so...”
***
Later, at a parking garage...
“See Cassidy, this is how you lock a car up.” Butch told her and set the
keys on the closed roof before turning around to mock her.
“Now that wasn’t so hard was it? All you had to do was lock the door after
you put the roof up...putting the roof up is very important, if you don’t
put it up people may...why are you staring past me?” he asked , slightly
annoyed that she was ignoring his speech.
“Oh, I was just trying to see who took your keys off your car’s roof and
drove away with is...”cassidy said off handily.
“OK, as I was saying...WHAT! MY CAR?!?!” he screamed and started running
after it.
After running a few meters he fell in a coughing fit.
“you OK?” cassidy called after him.
“Can’t...breath...need...cigarette...”
She kicked him for being stupid and called her twitching Raticate back into
it’s pokeball before it’s ear drums exploded.