2.

The night before the circus was due to open its tents to the public came rather quickly. Students and teachers alike at the Xavier school were excited and couldn’t wait until the following week when they would experience a traveling circus—some of which never had been to one at all in their lives.

The stimulation could be felt throughout the house, all except for Kurt Wagner that is.

Kurt sat alone in his room on the second floor of the house. He sat on the edge of his twin-sized bed facing the window straight ahead of him; his right hand played with the top edge of the handmade quilt a girl named Kitty had made for him a few weeks after he arrived at the school.

It was a full moon out that night, and Kurt’s memory flashed back to a time when a kid who wanted to meet him backstage after one of his shows. He asked him if he’d change into something during a full moon. He knew the kid meant no harm, but his mother had been eyeing Nightcrawler like he was some sort of monster already.

As turned his head to look at the many posters that hung over the headboard of the bed, a gentle knock came at the door. “Hereingekommen,” he said bidding the knocker to come in.

The door opened and Storm walked in with a concerned look on her face. “Hey. How are you?”

“Fine,” Kurt replied getting up to greet her.

“We thought you might be sick or something,” she said as she looked over his shoulder and saw the posters. She had seen a few before when she and her friend Jean Grey had gone to the old church in Boston and found Kurt hiding out there. Each poster had been a replica of those used when the circus traveled to different parts of the world. One said Paris, another Barcelona, and others range from different large cities all over Europe. Each one, though, had the same theme: The Incredible Nightcrawler!

“No,” Kurt said with a slight laugh in his voice. “Why would you think that?”

“You didn’t come down to dinner,” Storm answered. “But I think I know what’s bothering you now.” Kurt didn’t answer, but sat back down on his bed. “Is it because you’re not mentioned on that poster I had shown to everyone?”

Kurt chuckled. “No. I’m confused at what I should do. Part of me yearns to return to the circus and continue my life as a performer. The rest of me tries to counter the other half and tell it that I belong here with you and the others.”

Storm sat down next to him. “Would you go back?”

Kurt looked at her, almost surprised. There was a hint of worry in Storm’s voice, yet perhaps a bit of sincerity. “I…I don’t know. The audiences always thought I was just in costume. Then when Margali, the woman who raised me, let some people meet the performers, people figured out that I wasn’t normal; that I was a mutant.”

“It’s a fact that all of us have to live with,” Storm said. “But it’s your decision. And if my opinion counts—”

“—Which it does,” Kurt interrupted and then caught himself and closed his mouth.

“Do what you want to do that will make you happy.”

“I don’t want to be selfish,” he replied and instinctively held onto the rosary beads and pewter cross that hung from his worn leather vest’s pocket.

“God will understand,” she paused for a moment and then stood up, putting a comforting hand on Kurt’s shoulder and then finished by saying, “Nightcrawler.”

Kurt watched her leave and remained by himself in the silence of his room. His fingers rubbed the cross between themselves, but his eyes averted to the largest poster that hung directly over the center of his bed. “Germany’s Munich Circus, featuring the Incredible Nightcrawler.”

Early the following morning, Kurt had wondered down the stairs and towards Professor Charles Xavier’s office at the far end of the mansion. Before he even reached for the doorknob he heard the voice of a middle-aged man say, “Come in, Kurt.”

Kurt entered the room meekly. He had been in the room before, but he was always awed by the wood architecture he saw. Not only that, but the windows gave the room one of the best views of the world outside.

Professor Xavier, a middle-aged, bald man with soft brown eyes turned in his wheelchair and used an open hand gesture to offer Kurt a seat. “Please, sit down.”

Kurt sat down, his tail moving to the side to rest on his lap. “I’m sorry if this is too early-”

“Nonsense, Kurt,” Xavier said. He folded his hands on his mahogany desk. “I knew you’d be coming at some point this morning to tell me that you’re going back to the circus.”

Kurt stared at him in amazement. He was aware of the professor’s telekinesis, but he didn’t expect it to come out at that moment. “I’m not leaving for good, I don’t think,” Kurt told him.

“You just want to see the people you grew up with,” the professor said smiling. “I understand. And you shouldn’t be afraid to ask me.”

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows for a brief moment and wondered what he meant until he realized he had been thinking of asking the professor something entirely different than leaving the mansion for a short while.

“The best roses are right behind the house on the east side. Enjoy you’re time.” Xavier gave him a warm smile as he leaned back in his specially designed wheelchair.

Kurt thanked him in both German and English before vanishing from sight, only leaving the dark blue smoke to float around for a moment after he teleported.

Twenty-one year old Amanda Sefton sighed as she looked up from her book. The sounds of the people working on setting up the circus tent could be heard in the not-so-distant background. When it came to do such work, she was never much help; it was mostly the guys that did it anyway. No matter where the location, it was routine for Amanda to take the time to find a cozy spot under a tree and read.

The day was bright and warm, and the smell of fresh flowers and grass accented the spring air. It was her favorite time of year. For some reason, the beautiful spring weather was always relaxing to her, especially when times were hard.

The last chapter, Amanda thought to herself as she counted how many pages were left. This would be the fifth time she finished this particular book. In the last six months she had read the book after she finished a different one. And the reason was more than the fact that she enjoyed it; the book was the last gift she had received from a special friend before he left…

A sudden noise broke Amanda’s train of thought. The birds that were settled on the branches above her fluttered out in a mass number and a few leaves fell to the soft ground. Amanda could have sworn she had heard a familiar BAMF. “You’re letting you’re mind wonder again, Amanda,” she told herself out loud. “He’s not here.”

She had just found her spot on the page when something fell from above and landed on her outstretched legs. A gasp left her mouth as she picked up a full bloomed red rose. She twisted it in her fingers, noticing that all the thorns had been removed. Her head tilted back and looked up just as her ears picked up the same bamf sound she had thought she heard before only to find there was no one else around. Until, that is she looked back straight ahead of where she sat…

“Guten Morgen,” Kurt Wagner said as he stood several feet in front of her.

Amanda’s breathing quickened as she stared at the blue man before her, his tail swished every so often from one side to the other. Her eyes looked him over from head to toes and back up again, finally meeting his soft yellow eyes.

“Did you miss me?” He asked in a joking manner. Kurt could feel the knots in his stomach tighten as his fingers fumbled together behind his back. He felt that he had turned Amanda into stone with his sudden appearance.

Then, after the long moment of staring at him, Amanda let a large breath out as her lips curled into a smile. She got to her feet, the book tumbling to the ground forgotten, as she held the rose with both hands. “Is it…is it really you?” As she came to stand only a few inches in front of him, her bright green eyes looked at his face like he was a resurrected ghost.

“Ja,” he said. “Traurig schrieb ich nicht.” He smiled, his white teeth almost making his dark skin look darker.

She let out a hushed laugh and then put her hands on her hips, her face becoming stern and the glint in her eye going out. “Was geschah?? Where have you been!? We were worried sick!” She lectured, half in German half in English.” She raised her hand and slapped him in the shoulder.

Kurt’s eyes became wide and he took a step back. “I-I’m sorry, Amanda. It’s a long story…”

“Screw the story!” She practically yelled. Then Kurt noticed a tear streaming down her cheek and her angry face became soft and sad. She flung her arms around him and buried her angelic face into his vest and coat covered chest. “I’m so happy you’re home. I’ve missed you so much,” she sobbed lightly.

Kurt hesitated for a moment, but finally let his hands come to rest on her back and pull her into a tight hug. “Und ich habe Sie vermißt,” he replied. “I’ve missed you more than you could imagine.”

Amanda pulled away, tears still falling gently from her eyes and moistening her fair skinned face. Kurt raised a hand, brushing back a lock of her light red hair behind her ear and then catching a falling tear. “Don’t cry, Amanda. I’m here now.”

She nodded and attempted to dry her eyes with her hands. “Have you gone to see Mom yet?”

“Nein,” He replied. “I came to see you first.”

She laughed and pulled away from his hold; she went back to the tree to pick up her book. “She’ll be so happy to know you’re not dead,” Amanda said with a smile. “She didn’t wait even a day before thinking up the worst.”

“Hank, I think that rope needs to be tightened more!” Margali, a woman in her early forties that dressed as if she was still twenty and living like a gypsy, looked over her clipboard. She crossed off the words that said, “Set up main tent” and sighed as she looked at the lengthened list.

“This tight enough, Margali?” A man called from the other side of the tent.

“Fine,” she replied, not looking up.

“Mom!” Amanda called from the tent’s entrance.

Margali held her index finger up from a folded fist; Hank had come over to see what needed to be done next. “Probably bring the crates in next,” she told him. He nodded and left.

“Mom! I’ve got to show you something,” Amanda said.

Margali held her clipboard to her chest and looked at her daughter’s rather anxious face. “What’s going on…” then she raised an eyebrow. “Did you guys order more flowers for the side show?”

“No, of course not,” Amanda laughed. She led her mother out of the tent and to the trailers parked in back.

“Amanda, I don’t have time—” Margali said; until, that is, she saw Kurt Wagner standing outside her trailer door. The clipboard landed facedown on a bare patch of ground; Margali’s two hands went up to her mouth in complete shock. “It can’t be…”

“Hallo, Margali,” Kurt said giving a slight wave.

Margali slowly made her way to the boy she found as a baby, abandoned and cold almost twenty years ago in Munich, Germany. Her right hand reached out to touch Kurt’s tattooed cheek, skin that was just as soft as it had been when he was a baby. After discovering he was real, Margali pulled him into a tight hug, her hands holding his head to lie on her shoulder.

“Mother, you’re going to suffocate him,” Amanda said crossing her arms over her chest.

Margali pulled away, tears streaming down her face. “What’s happened to you? Why didn’t you come back that day?”

“It’s a long story,” Kurt said. “So much has happened.”

After an hour the three reunited people sat in Margali’s trailer, each holding a mug of coffee, or in Kurt’s case warm milk. Kurt explained everything to them: from the reason why he went to the church after he made a stupid decision during a performance, to William Stryker’s plan to kill the President of the United States, to finding a new home at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. There was silence for a few moments when he finished, neither woman knowing what to say.

Finally, Amanda looking down at her mug closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. “You thought I had come after you, but it wasn’t me.” She looked up and let out a laugh as tears welded up in her eyes. “When in reality I was right here, in this very trailer, with Werner.”

Kurt didn’t answer. His eyes were fixed at his now empty mug; his stomach still twisting and turning like it had been for several hours now.

“Kurt…did this man, Stryker,” Margali started but then paused, as if she was afraid to ask her question. “Did he beat you?”

Kurt hadn’t mentioned the treatment he actually received while being held captive in the underground base at Alkali Lake. “Yes,” he replied softly. “One man didn’t like me because he found me praying. He said I wasn’t allowed to pray to his god because I was unworthy.”

“Unworthy of what?” Amanda almost shouted. “Because you’re blue? Because you have a tail? Because you’re a mutant!?”

“Calm down, baby,” Margali said putting her hand on Amanda’s arm. “We all know that some people just don’t see mutants…” She stopped herself. Margali knew that she couldn’t continue what she was going to say. She herself had seen Kurt differently, even though she loved him as her own son. Amanda had made it quite clear when Kurt first left that she was the one who put him in a devil’s costume and gave him the roll of a devil when he was old enough to perform. She realized, especially now after hearing about how Kurt was used in a plot to assassinate the president, the circus had never done so well when Kurt was the Incredible Nightcrawler; people came from miles away to see this famous acrobatic performer.

Amanda tried very hard to keep the tears from rolling down her face again. “People just don’t understand…. If something’s not perfect, then its no good.” Without warning Amanda jumped from her seat and left the trailer, the door hanging open in the spring breeze.

Kurt looked after her and started to get up himself, when Margali grabbed his arm. “Kurt, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For treating you like a mutant in the past.”

Kurt smiled and put his own hand atop of Margali’s. Neither spoke another word as Kurt proceeded to follow Amanda.

Kurt found Amanda in the tent sitting at the very top of the stands by herself. With a BAMF he appeared next to her, but his sudden appearance didn’t startle her. She looked at him and then back down to the center of the tent, her eyes were wet, but they didn’t shed tears.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly; his head tilted to the side looking concerned.

Amanda shook her head, her red hair coming to rest on her shoulders now. “I’ve been such a fool.”

Kurt smiled, laughed a bit, and then shook his head. “You’re not a fool. You’re human. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“But I didn’t give you a chance, Kurt,” she said looking at him now. “I was blinded by my vision of the perfect guy.” Kurt didn’t answer. “When I was in school I remember being so jealous of these girls with their gorgeous boyfriends that bought them whatever they wanted. I never had that because we were gone so much with the circus. I had my crushes and a date here and there, but I wanted a guy that everyone would be jealous of.

“I figured out a few years ago that you had a crush on me because you were always trying to show off, but I didn’t care. Especially when Werner came to work for us. I was thrilled, Kurt. I flirted with him until he finally asked me out. I was so happy…at least I thought I was.”

Kurt still sat beside her, hands folded in his lap, his tail hanging over the edge of the bleacher in back.

“Kurt, when Mom came and told me you were nowhere to be found I was concerned, but I figured you’d be back. When we couldn’t wait for you any longer and had to leave without you, I was heartbroken. I didn’t understand entirely, at first. I thought it was because we had grown up together, or because you were always there for me no matter what. But then I discovered…” She paused and looked away from him, as if what she was about to say was very painful.

“…I discovered that you meant the world to me.”

Kurt’s eyes grew wide and his heart skipped at least two beats. He had no idea she’d say that. He had always thought Amanda sharing even a fraction of the same feelings she felt for him was impossible.

Amanda continued, smiling through newly released tears. “I guess the argument I had with my mother the week you left opened my eyes. She told me that I was throwing away a precious love and I didn’t understand. She told me I could be with you instead of someone so stupid and pathetic as Werner. I didn’t listen. I told her you were just a friend, or a brother. You’re blue…you have a tail…you’re eyes are yellow…you’re a mutant. What would people think?

“When we arrived in Calgary I spent a lot of time with Werner. He had asked me what was wrong because I hadn’t spoken much. I told him about how I was worried about you…but I could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t listening. Then his cell phone rang and he answered it like I wasn’t there. He didn’t even tell the other person that he was busy. He just got up and left.”

Amanda became silent. She hugged her knees and looked as far away from Kurt as she could. She couldn’t bear to face him. But Kurt reached over and gently guided her head to look at him with his hand.

“I’m sorry, Kurt…” she said softly, but he hushed her. His hands tucked her hair behind her ears and he looked at her contently. “Kurt…”

“Hey you two!” a man called from the ground. “Welcome back, Kurt! You guys want lunch?”

The two smiled and Kurt teleported the both of them down to the ground. Chester, a good friend of the family, gave a hard welcoming slap on Kurt’s shoulder. “Where’ve ya been? We’ve missed ya,” he said, smiling through his beard. “Haven’t had the crowd we used to,” he continued but received a nasty look from Amanda. “But…we’re managing…”

Kurt looked at Amanda who only shrugged. He knew that he being the main attraction was what kept the audience coming.

“Guess it all turned out alright, though,” Chester stated. “We were supposed to be back in Germany three months ago, but Margali decided to stick it out a little longer in the states to get some extra dough.”

“Chester, don’t you have to be somewhere?” Amanda said trying to be nice, although her expression would say otherwise.

“Ya know, you’re right. I’ll catch up with ya’s later.” He turned and went the opposite direction, leaving Kurt to his thoughts about what Chester had said.

“It’s been bad since I left?” he asked.

“What? Oh, no,” Amanda lied. Then she nodded her head slowly. “There’s really nothing we have that the bigger circuses don’t.”

“Put my name back on the posters,” Kurt said. “I’m here now.”

“No, Kurt. You shouldn’t have to do anything,” she told him. “Let Mom worry about that. Its not that bad.”

The day went by all to quickly in Kurt’s opinion. After years of dreaming, his fantasies started to become reality. He and Amanda had spent the entire day together, either helping with the set up for that night’s show, eating a picnic lunch away from the camp, and just sitting around talking and laughing with the each other.

By sunset Margali had reminded them that the show was in less than an hour and Amanda had to be ready to go on for the second act.

“You going to watch? Its not a bad set up, really,” she said as they walked to her trailer.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Kurt said with a smile. He held her hand and opened the trailer’s door for her. “Good luck.”

“I’ll see you later,” she said as she went inside.

“Kurt, come on,” Margali called from her own trailer.

Translations: (Note, the translator I used kept changing its mind, so all of these are not entirely accurate).

“Hereingekommen”-Come in

“Guten morgen”-Good morning

“Traurig schrieb ich nicht”-Sorry I didn’t write

“Was geschah?”-What happened?

“Und ich habe Sie vermißt”-And I missed you

“Hallo…”-Hello