Amanda waited with her mother and the X-Men while Professor Xavier looked over Kurt in the laboratory below the school. During this Amanda was offered use of the shower and a change of clothes, but she refused to move until she knew Kurt was all right. The sound of the door sliding to the side made her jump and her mind started racing with thoughts.

Xavier wheeled out, a smile on his face. “He’ll be just fine. The extra dosage of the drug will keep him unconscious for a few days, I suppose, but his memory was unscathed. He should be back to normal by the end of the week.”

“What about the beating he got?” Logan asked. He had his arms folded and his body leaning against a wall in a very relaxed manner, but he was just as worried as the others, only he wouldn’t admit it.

“A few bruised ribs, but nothing serious. The rest are minor cuts that will heal smoothly.”

Margali and Amanda hugged each other and Amanda asked if she could go see him. Xavier nodded and let her pass.

“Hey you,” Amanda said once the door shut behind her. Kurt lay on a table in the middle of the research lab, looking very peaceful as he slept. He had a blanket on the lower half of his body; his chest displayed not only the angelic symbols he had engraved there, but also a few wires that stuck to him and were connected to a heart monitor. Amanda was glad to see that his cuts and bruises weren’t as bad as she had thought. His abdomen was bandaged, probably for his ribs, and his arm was wrapped up for the cut Shorski gave him when Logan scared the man out of his pants.

Amanda’s hand brushed over Kurt’s forehead, her fingers feeling the raised tattoos and the curls of his black hair. “My poor Nightcrawler,” she whispered mainly to herself. “The things you’ve had to go through in your life.”

It was a few days after Kurt and Amanda had been kidnapped and then rescued. By now the steady rains had stopped and the sun shined brightly on Westchester, New York.

Amanda sat on a stool near Kurt, reading her favorite book that he had given her. She was about to finish it for what seemed the hundredth time, but she didn’t mind starting over. She did like that book.

“Guten morgen,” a voice said.

Amanda looked up and smiled. Kurt’s yellow eyes stared back at her. She put the book down on a nearby table and went over to him. “Afternoon, is more like it,” she said softly. “How do you feel?”

Kurt sat up a little bit, although Amanda put a hand on his chest to keep him from getting up completely. “Now it just feels like a bike hit me instead of a truck.” He smiled. It seemed he was feeling just fine.

“You scared me for a minute there,” Amanda said. “It’s been a few days since they got us out of that place.”

Kurt’s eyes widened. “Has it? I didn’t know.” He looked thoughtful. “Is Margali and the others still around? Or have they gone back to Germany without you?”

Amanda shook her head gently. “They’re here. Chester said he’s gonna give you a hug and then kick your butt for getting into trouble again.” They both laughed lightly.

The door to the lab opened and Storm walked in with a large smile on her face. “I thought I heard voices. How are you Kurt?”

“Good,” he replied. “You wouldn’t mind if I had something to eat? I feel rather hungry at the moment.”

By the next day Kurt was back to his old self. Well, almost. He was still unable to jump around in the air and do highflying somersaults, but his personality was still the same. Most of the circus members went home as scheduled, but Margali, Amanda and a few others stuck around the Xavier School for a couple extra days.

During that time Kurt and Amanda were rarely seen apart. Some of the younger students didn’t quite understand, but they thought it was gross that a guy and a girl would be seen together—especially holding hands! For the rest of the school, they couldn’t have been happier that Kurt’s dream of being with Amanda had finally come true.

Kurt couldn’t complain about life at the moment. He was amoungst the greatest of friends he had ever had, the woman who raised him, and the girl he’s longed for his entire life. It wasn’t until the day Margali and the others would be hopping on a plane to return to Germany that Kurt’s ideal life would be ending. A good part of him didn’t want to leave his friends.

He woke to a brightly sunlit room, Amanda sleeping next to him like she had the night before. As he sat up and stretched his back and tail, he wondered if Margali knew she was with him instead of the bed set up in Rogue’s room.

Amanda was still fast asleep. He knew that she would need it. The trip home would be long and tiresome, just like it had been when they came to the U.S. almost a year ago.

Getting up and putting a pair of brown slacks, a long-sleeved but thin shirt, and a jean jacket on, Kurt made his way down to the first floor. It was still early, being just before 8:00. Usually he would’ve been up hours ago, but he and Amanda spent a good amount of the night watching a few movies in his room, which was the basic reason she ended up sharing his bed.

A few of the students were already up and sitting around the island in the kitchen eating their bowls of cereal. Kurt was about to go in and join him when he thought he heard Professor Xavier calling him.

Kurt turned around and saw no one. Then he heard the voice again and realized Xavier must be using his telekinesis to talk to him.

Xavier’s office wasn’t too far from the kitchen. The large doors were opened and Kurt saw the middle-aged man sitting at his desk.

Xavier looked up with a welcoming smile. “Good morning, Kurt. Please, come in.”

Kurt went in quietly and gave a meek smile as he took the offered seat in front of the desk. The doors closed gently behind him and he couldn’t help but wonder why the professor wanted to talk to him so early. Perhaps it was because Xavier wanted to thank Kurt for being a part of the school for the past six months.

“Sleep well?” Xavier said as he reached across the desk to put his pen back in the cup full of other pens and pencils.

“Ja,” Kurt replied.

Xavier sat back and folded his hands in his lap. “Kurt, I’ll get straight to the point.” Kurt nodded. “I understand that your love for Amanda is stronger than anything else you live for, including your faith. But…” he paused for a few moments as if trying to think of the right words. “But I am going to ask you to reconsider returning to Germany.”

Kurt’s eyes slightly widened and his tail twitched behind him. “Why?” He asked rather shocked.

Charles Xavier sighed. He knew Kurt wanted to go home in the worst way. Its were the young man grew up, where he would be familiar with everything, where he would probably spend the rest of his life performing in the circus and living with Amanda.

“There are a few reasons. I’m sure you’ve already figured out that you’re loved here by everyone,” the professor explained. “And you’ve been a great help to the X-Men and I’d hate to see you leave. But the true reason why I feel you should stay here is not for our sake, but for your loved ones’ sake.”

“I…I don’t understand,” Kurt told him.

“In less than a year you’ve been pursued by two men who wanted you for your mutant abilities for reasons that would harm others and most likely you as well. And I don’t doubt that it’ll happen again.

“My greatest fear, besides seeing you being hurt, is another attack on your friends, including Amanda and Margali.”

Kurt thought for a moment. He knew what Xavier meant, but he continued to listen to what he had to say.

“Stryker has been dealt with, but unfortunately Shorski is still out in the world. There’s no telling what he could do if he still wants you under his control. And it might come down to people getting hurt or even killed.”

“You’re right…” Kurt said after there was a moment’s silence. He looked down to his two-toed feet and wondered how he could explain it to Amanda.

Xavier had most likely read his mind on this very thought. “I’ve already spoken to Margali about this. She loves you very much Kurt and she loves Amanda. She agrees that its best you stay here with us until this whole mutant war is over.”

Kurt’s head looked up. “What about Amanda? What will she say? I promised her I’d go back.”

Xavier pulled away from his desk and went to Kurt’s side; he put a hand on the German’s shoulder and gave a comforting look. “If she loves you, she’ll understand.”

Kurt knew he was right, but he was afraid of telling her. He was afraid that he would find out that Amanda didn’t love him like he thought. What scared him even more, which he felt was a sin because he should have full trust in her, was the fact that she would forget him and move on.

He spent the whole morning thinking of ways to tell her that he was going to stay in the States. But every time his mind would play tricks on him by giving him a new version on how she’d react.

Finally the time came. Before lunch, when the vans to the airport were due at any time, Amanda wondered to the backyard by the unoccupied basketball court to find Kurt sitting on a picnic table, his feet on the bench.

“Have you been here all morning?” She asked as she sat next to him closely.

“Ja,” he replied. His hands fumbled with the rosary beads and the pewter cross that hung from his belt. “Amanda, I have to tell you something.”

Amanda cocked her head slightly and looked at him. Kurt was immediately lost in the green pools of her eyes and the devil played her possible reactions over in his head. “What is it?”

Kurt hesitated. Which way should he tell her? Come out and be blunt? Or lead it into something long and hopefully understanding?

Finally, his mouth opened, but nothing came out. After coaxing himself to just get it over with, he found his voice to say, “Ich liebe dich. I love you more than anything.”

Amanda smiled. “I know.” She gave a light laugh. “I thought you had something to say that you were afraid to tell me.”

“I can’t go back to Germany with you….” Kurt’s mouth hung open to let the air flow in and out freely. He didn’t want to blurt it out like that. He felt like an idiot.

Amanda stared at him, her smile fading a little. “That’s funny, Kurt. Real funny.”

“Its not a joke,” Kurt replied, now having already inserted one foot in his mouth. You’re such a fool, he thought to himself.

Amanda’s smile faded completely. “What do you mean…? Kurt, we had this all planned out. You said you wanted to go home…”

Kurt turned so he could pick up her hands in his. He tried to look happy and convincing, as if trying to tell her he wasn’t lying to her. “I do want to go home. But I have to stay here for now. Its better this way…” You idiot, you’re only making it worse. God help me.

Amanda’s eyes started to fill with tears. “You…I thought…Mutant or not…you’re just like all the rest. You promised me Kurt Wagner. You promised! How could you take these people you’ve just met over me?”

Kurt’s heart shattered. He felt like someone had taken a sludge hammer and hit his head with it. His hands felt cold as she yanked her own away from him and jumped off the table. “Amanda! I have to! Its best for us this way…please, let me explain.”

Amanda had already decided she wasn’t going to let him explain. To her, if he wasn’t willing to go home with her then she wasn’t worth anything to him like she thought. Kurt Wagner was just like the rest—he said he loved her, but in truth she was just another girl.

Kurt’s head dropped to his knees. He had screwed it up. He should have told her why he decided this before he said anything else. Now she hated him. His hands clutched the beads tightly, the cross dangling from his fingers.

“Our Father, who art in heaven; hallowed by thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven…” A tear rolled from his eye down his cheek and to the grass below.

Kurt had moved his spot outside from the picnic table to the gardens. There, he spent a good hour or more praying, asking God for forgiveness and to protect Amanda and Margali, and also not to be mad at Amanda, for he was the cause.

“Kurt…”

His prayers came to a quick end as he glanced up at the owner of the voice; the familiar voice his pointy ears couldn’t get enough of.

“Verzeihen Sie mir,” Amanda said as she sat next to him on the ground. “I jumped ahead of myself. I was being really selfish. You’re the one who has his head on straight. You always know what’s best for everyone.”

“I should’ve—” he started, but was silenced by her index finger.

“I love you. But you better come visit or I’ll go crazy.” She smiled.

“You know why then,” he said softly.

“Xavier and my mom told me. I just didn’t want to be away from you again like before. But now that I think of it, it’s not going to be as bad ‘cause I know you’re okay.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders for a tight hug. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

Kurt felt like they never let go of that hug. When his senses finally came back to him he realized he and Amanda were standing outside the front doors of the mansion, the airport vans waiting for her to get in the back seat.

Her arms were just as tight around him as they had been in the garden; her face was buried in his neck as she tried so hard to keep his scent in her head.

“Amanda, c’mon,” Margali called from the open van door.

Amanda waved to her mother to be quiet. Then she looked at the yellow eyes of Kurt Wagner. “Don’t let it be another six months, you hear?”

“I’ll try,” he said softly. He kissed her forehead. He wasn’t much into giving a public display of his true affections for her with the entire student population of the mansion standing behind him. “Sichere reise,” he told her.

Amanda pulled away and found her seat in the van. The door shut next to her and she buckled herself into the seat. She heard the van’s engine roar as the driver turned it on and it wasn’t until then that she realized she wasn’t going to see the Incredible Nightcrawler for a long time.

At least this time, as they drove down the driveway, she was able to stare out the window and still see his image waving to her, unlike last time when they left him behind she had no idea if he was even alive. She couldn’t wait until she’d see him again.

Inspirations:

“Here Without You”—3 Doors Down

A hundred days have made me older,

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don’t think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate

Disappear when I’m dreamin’ of your face

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still with me in my dreams

And tonight, there’s only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin’

As the people leave their way to say hello

I’ve heard this life is overrated

But I hope that this gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl, there’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it want take away my love

And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done

It gets hard but it want take away my love

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby

But you’re still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl, there’s only you and me.

--------------------------------------------------

“Heaven”—DJ Sammy

Baby you're all that I want

When you're lying here in my arms

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

We're in heaven

Oh, thinkin' about our younger years

There was only you and me

We were young and wild and free

Now nothing can take you away from me

We've been down that road before

That's over now

You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want

When you're lying here in my arms

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

And lovin' is all that I need

And I'm finally there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see,

We're in heaven

We're in heaven

Now nothing can change what you mean to me

There's a lot that I could say

But just hold me now

Cause our love will light the way

Baby you're all that I want

When you're lying here in my arms

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

And lovin' is all that I need

And I'm finally there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see,

We're in heaven

Now our dreams are comin' true

Through the good times and the bad

I'll be standing there by you

We're in heaven

And your loving is all that I need

When I'm finally there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see

We're in heaven

Oh oh oh oh oh oh

We're in Heaven.

Translations: (Note, the translator I used was not entirely accurate—it kept changing its mind!)

“Ich liebe dich”-I love you

“Verzeihen Sie mir”-Forgive me

“Sichere reise”-Safe journey (actually, its really ‘secure travel’ but safe journey is what I wanted)