Chapter 13

Comfort, but little joy

Although months had passed since the Halloween party, Kurt’s birthday, and the New Year, Kurt kept many things about the party a secret. He couldn’t remember a good deal of it, but he did remember that he participated in a drinking game and was the overall winner, but worse of all, he lost his virginity to a girl that he met that night and would never see for the rest of his life, not to mention she had a boyfriend who was wondering around the same house where the party took place.

That night had earned Kurt a few more symbols onto his body, but they had long since healed and he was relieved that he didn’t commit any terrible sins since then.

On the eve of the beginning of the summer tour, Margali went with several of the circus members to get some new equipment for the tent, trailers, and supplies for the trip. Kurt remained at home, spending his day reading Treasure Island.

The day was so relaxing, the weather being nice and mild, a cool breeze flowing through the air. Kurt sat outside on the small patio, crouched in a deck chair, very content with himself. The only sounds Kurt heard were the birds in the trees or the leaves rustling in the wind. With Margali gone for the day and Amanda out with Deidrick again, Kurt had the house to himself, and at the moment he was happy with that.

By mid-afternoon Kurt was at the last chapters of his book and was determined to finish it, although his stomach protested that it wanted food first. He so hated to leave his comfortable position and put the book down, but after a while the growling had become unbearable.

With a deep sigh, Kurt put a scrap piece of paper in the crease of the pages to mark his spot and teleported into the kitchen. He looked around, trying to think of something different to have for lunch, but the only thing that came to mind was another turkey sandwich, which had been the choice for the past few weeks.

He blessed the angels when he caught wing of a bowl of fresh fruit sitting on the table, a memento of Margali’s early morning grocery shopping. Taking two apples, a pair, and making himself yet another turkey sandwich (but this time with lettuce and a tomato), Kurt jumped up on the counter, letting his feet dangle towards the floor.

After sinking his sharp teeth into the first apple, he realized he didn’t get himself anything to drink. While contemplating whether to drag his lazy self to the cupboard for a glass or waiting until he was finished, the front door opened and slammed shut with full force.

Kurt looked over into the room and barely saw Amanda drop her purse in the middle of the floor and run upstairs. He could’ve sworn he heard her crying, but wasn’t sure. When he heard her bedroom door slam with even more vigor, he knew she wasn’t in a good mood.

The young mutant knew such a sign wasn’t good, especially after she returned from an outing with that dumbkolf, Deidrick. Ignoring the gripes from his stomach to finish the food first, Kurt teleported upstairs to Amanda’s closed door.

He listened carefully and could hear her sobs through the wood. He knew something bad had happened. He mentally lectured himself when he caught his brain thinking the happy thought of the couple breaking up their relationship. It wouldn’t be right to gain joy out of Amanda’s sorrow if that were the case.

Kurt’s hand rose to the door and knocked on it as gently as he could. “Amanda? Amanda, are you okay?” He listened carefully for a response, but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get one.

He wondered if it was right to go in and find out what was wrong, but then he wondered if it was right not to. After briefly thinking it over, Kurt slowly opened the door and looked in. Amanda had thrown herself face down onto her bed, her face buried in the mass of pillows situated at the headboard.

He walked in with smooth grace and waited to see if she’d look up at him. However, it seemed she didn’t notice his presence, or didn’t care he was there. “Was ist falsch?” he asked gently, his feet stopping only inches away from her bed.

Amanda’s head shot up and stared at him; her eyes were filled with tears and her face was red with sorrow. “No,” she said and then put her head back down keeping her eyes fixed on his tail.

With a moment of hesitation, Kurt sat down on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

There were a few minutes of silence and Amanda finally sat up and faced him. “You were right, Kurt. You’re always right.”

“About what?”

“Stupid Deidrick. He’s the biggest jerk in the world! You told me that and I didn’t listen,” she sobbed, tears still flowing steadily from her eyes.

“I didn’t…I really didn’t mean it,” he told her.

“You were right though!” She yelled out. She started to break down into a fit of sobs and tears, her head leaning over and leaning against Kurt’s chest. “He said he was tired of me. He was tired of me leaving with the circus, and not paying enough attention to him.”

By now Kurt had put his arm around her shoulders and held her close, hoping he was being any sort of comfort. He knew that anything he said wouldn’t make her feel better; therefore he just sat still and listened.

“Kurt, he told me that he found someone better…someone that he was more interested in.”

Inside his chest, Kurt could feel a swell of hatred growing, angry that this low-class swordsman could even consider saying that to a girl like Amanda. How dare he.

“That’s not true,” Kurt told her. “There’s no one better than you, Amanda.”

She laughed a bit, looking up at his sweet face. “Why couldn’t every guy be like you Kurt?” Once again she rested her head against his chest, wrapping an arm around his torso.

Kurt wished he could give her more than just a comforting hug. He wished he could give her anything she had ever desired; he wished he could hold her like this every day, her arms around him, and his chin resting on her head as it was now. But all he could do now was help her through the pain of being tossed aside by an incompetent little boy.

“You deserve better than him, Liebling,” Kurt said softly, bringing his free arm up to gently stroke her soft red hair. His tail reached over to her nightstand and pulled a tissue from the box of them. He smiled when heard and felt her laugh against him when his tail held the small tissue in front of her.

“Danke,” she said taking it and patting her eyes dry. Another laugh escaped her mouth when she heard a low grumble.

“Forgive me,” he said, knowing his face would be red if it weren’t already blue. “I think it’s a bit hungry.”

“Is that why there’s a half eaten apple sitting on my bed?”

Kurt smiled. “I’m such an oaf. I had forgotten I brought it up with me!”

She laughed again and sat up, finishing drying her eyes and tossing the tissue into the garbage. “I need some comfort food anyway.”

Kurt did the honor of teleporting them downstairs to the kitchen, letting Amanda sit while he prepared her request for a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a glass of soda. They ate together in silence, Kurt not so sure on what to say to her, and Amanda recalling the terrible way Deidrick had spoken to her only hours ago.

“How much ice cream is left in the freezer?” Amanda said, scraping her bowl for the melted portion of her snack.

Kurt shook his head. “That was all of it.”

“Figures…I can so go for more.” She pushed the empty bowl away and slouched back in her chair. “I can’t believe that was the best excuse he came up with. Found someone better…. I bet he did.” Kurt didn’t answer.

“You know?” she started again. “I wish you could kick his butt again in fencing. That and maybe taking him up on the trapeze…better yet, teleport him up to the trapeze and see how fast he craps his pants.”

Kurt let out a small and faint chuckle, a smile spread across his face. She shook her head and continued, “You know, I wish he’ll come to one of the shows this summer and see me in the skits Mom’s making up, and you flying through the air. See how much better we’ve got it compared to him.”

“Especially now with his new found hope,” Kurt replied and Amanda laughed.

“What an asshole! He honestly thinks he’ll be better off,” she said shaking her head. But then her face saddened and looked down at the table. “We went out for almost three years…”

Kurt’s expression mellowed from the brief laughter they had just shared. “I’m sure its going to be hard at first,” he said softly, “but you’ll find someone else. Someone better than him.”

Amanda forced a smile, but a tear still escaped her eyes. “I hope so…” She looked up at Kurt and was almost lost in his yellow eyes. They looked so peaceful, so relaxed. She wondered how he could always find hope and faith when he looked like a demon and was feared by so many people.

“Thanks for being here for me, Nightcrawler,” she said softly.

Kurt nodded. “I’ll always be there for you, Amanda. Always.”

* * *

When the tour in Scotland was underway, Kurt had hoped, now that Deidrick was out of the picture, Amanda would feel better around him, and with a bit of luck become closer to him. Then again, with Margali’s hiring of a new acrobat to play in the mid-show skit, he lost all hope. This guy wasn’t as good-looking as Deidrick had been, and seemed even dumber, but he saw the way Amanda looked at him.

The summer had been long and strenuous, Kurt sighing every time he saw the new acrobat. Werner was his name, and Kurt couldn’t help but let the jealousy sweep over him. Especially during the shows when he would “save Amanda from the devil.”

While in Paris, Kurt was sitting outside of his trailer, praying the rosary, holding his beads and cross, when Werner approached him and sat on the doorstep of the trailer.

“You’ve known Amanda for a long time, right?” he asked, interrupting Kurt’s prayer.

Kurt looked up at him, seeing Werner strain at the sight of yellow eyes staring back at him. “My whole life.”

Werner nodded. “What’s she like? I mean, outside of the circus and stuff?”

Kurt raised is brow and then turned his head to look at Woodhead walking by smoking his usual cigar. He didn’t have to think about what Amanda was like, but he wanted to keep Werner waiting with anticipation. “She’s very kind and caring,” he said finally. “Pretty much ready to tell you off if she gets mad enough, but nonetheless faithful and devoted to her friends and family.”

He had so much he wanted to express on how he really thought of Amanda. She’s like an angel, with the brightest halo that illuminates her beautiful face. She walks with the grace of the Lord and her touch is like that of warmth and comfort. She makes you want to be the best you can be. But he knew if he said anything like that, Werner would stare at him and Kurt would become the joke of the week.

“Thanks Kurt,” Werner said simply and left.

Kurt nodded and softly replied, “You’re welcome,” as he looked at his tail resting on his knee.

Every day Kurt expected to hear of some sort of news that Amanda and Werner had gotten together and his life would be miserable once again. However, when the end of the summer had arrived and they were back in Germany, Werner returned to his own home and Amanda never spoke another word of him.

Kurt was thrilled beyond compare and figured that if he had luck like this all of the time, Amanda would finally see him in a way other than her “little mutant foster brother.”

Yet on November 11^th, Kurt’s twentieth birthday, he was a little more than appalled to see Werner show up at the party Margali held. He knew that a good many of the circus members were invited, if not all of them, but he didn’t expect to see Werner show up.

It wasn’t until he caught Amanda flirting with the older acrobat that Kurt realized Werner hadn’t come to wish him a Happy Birthday. Although he was enjoying himself, and was more than glad to see everyone pay him a visit and wish him well, he could feel his heart sink when Amanda giggled and Werner continued with the jokes.

Werner had been nice enough to pat Kurt on the shoulder and wish him many happy returns before he left, but it drove Kurt into the ground when all Amanda talked about was how nice and flattering Werner had been.

* * *

During the winter vacation, to be more precise during the month of February, Margali announced to everyone that they finally had enough funds to make a trip to the United States of America. Kurt remembered how much Trent would’ve loved to hear those words, being able to see his homeland again.

“We’ll be there longer than any other tour we’ve done in the past,” Margali said at dinner one night. “I don’t think we’ll be going back for some time again, but I know it’ll be well worth it.”

“Its so exciting,” Amanda said. “I can’t wait! And just think, we don’t have to make any new skits up or anything because no one over there will have seen them before.”

“Where do we go first, Margali?” Kurt asked when he finished his meal.

“Boston. That’s where our boat will dock, so might as well start off there. Its one of the bigger cities on the East Coast, so we should do pretty well there.”

Kurt listened to her talk about how they’d eventually make their way through various cities in the United States and Canada. He had always dreamed of visiting the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave; a place of opportunity, as he read in a history book once. And to top it off, it was home to many of the movies he loved to watch over and over again.

The rest of winter seemed to be longer than normal, but the day came when Margali gathered the circus crew and the preparation to the U.S. was underway. Kurt couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t see Germany for nearly seven months. It was hard to get into his mind that he was getting ready to cross the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.

The boat was to leave from Le Harve, France and make its way out into the open sea and land in Boston, Massachusetts. It would be a long journey, but for Kurt and many of the other circus members, it would be well worth it.

Before saying good-bye to the farmhouse in Munich, Kurt smiled and looked up at the heavens, knowing that after seeing America, his life would never be the same.

************

German Translations: Was ist falsch?-What is wrong?

Liebling-Darling

Danke-Thanks