I hear you just got married.

I looked out into the deep evening sky. Stars glittered in the darkness, like tears of a non-existent God. "If only," I said out loud, my throat aching as I held back the urge to cry. Damn Uub. He had taken the only love I had ever had. My one and only. My happiness. The best part there ever was to me. Marron.

But I shouldn't blame him. I knew it wasn’t Uub’s fault at all. I had just waited too long. Marron had needed security, she had needed unconditional love. "But I was going to offer..." I started, fading out. I growled softly. It was no one's fault but my own.

Took a month long honeymoon

I coughed, thinking about what Uub was doing with her now. Probably walking along a beach somewhere, laughing and smiling. I wished I could have made her that happy. But the worst part was, I didn’t need to wish or wonder. I could have made her happy. If only I had said I wanted to earlier. If only I had asked before Uub, would Marron had said yes?

It was a whole lot of 'if only's, but there was a point where I saw her as mine, forever. Our relationship had come to the point where I knew we were meant to be.

But then we had a fight. I can't even remember what it was about, probably something stupid. She walked out the door, and I didn't go after her. I was going to apologize, but a day turned into a month, and a month turned into a season. I was only waiting for the right time, but it never came. I guess it'll never come.

And you were all smiles at the wedding,
You cried when you kissed the groom.

Or did she not like me at all? No. Marron wouldn’t show misguided affection like that. She did love me, at one time or another. But damn, I still loved her. I still do love her. I thought about the way her hair shimmered in the moonlight, the night I first fell in love with her. I grinned and remembered how she let me kiss her when I was only fourteen, to impress some girl at my school.

She had done all that... even though she had confessed later that she had loved me even then, and it was torture to see me go with that girl with her help. She had done it because she loved me.

But now I know what torture is. Torture is watching the one you love marry someone that is not you. Torture is knowing you had a chance and didn't take it. Torture is knowing you'll never be happy again.

I got no invitation,
I guess the mailman didn't bring it to me.

Did Marron not want to confess that she was getting married? She should have told me... it would have made me feel a whole lot more comfortable in the end.

It wouldn’t have been that much better though. Just a few more seconds of suffering. The suffering I will feel the rest of my life because I wasn’t there when she needed me to be; And Uub was.

But I see the whole thing in slow motion,
Every night as I try to sleep.

I watched the tear fall to the ground. She was the only one I ever loved, the only one I will ever love. She made me so happy. And in a way, it would make me happy if she was content, but I knew she could be happier.

"No offense or anything Uub, but she was meant for me."

I frowned, thinking of the day she asked me.

"Ha, she asked me to marry her."

And being the bastard I am, I said no. I told her to give it time. I told her to let ourselves get finished with college and see what our lives would be like then.

The worst mistake I ever made my entire life.

Though she seemed to take it well, I saw it was killing her inside. I reconsidered and said yes, but she refused, telling me I was right, that she was stupid for thinking that our love mattered more than our education.

I was such a jerk. "I didn’t mean it like that!" I shouted out loud. People looked over at me and I blushed. Marron meant more than anything I could ever dream up. Why had I turned her down?

But I knew the answer to that question too. I was scared.

"Scared of what?" I thought now. Of a happy life? Of being with the person you love more than the world forever?

I didn’t know.

I got up and shifted all thoughts from my head away. I walked away too. I’d like to think I was walking away from my troubles, but I knew they would follow.

My buddy Goten said you looked real pretty,
And you acted like you were in love.

He told me that you looked happy, but I know that she is a good actress. "Were you really in love Marron?" I spoke to know one I particular. "Or did you need that grasp of who you were... the feeling you weren’t alone. I thought I could give you that feeling."

I could have given her that feeling. The thing was that I didn't. The thing was that I was a jerk who didn't know anything of love and I had never been burned.

Now I was burned.

He said the preacher asked for objections,
And he thought about standing up.

And there was good ol’ Goten, thinking of stopping a whole wedding for me. He knew how it was, that Marron and I had been in love since we were children. Ever since he had married my sister, he was rooting for me and Marron. He told me he ‘knew’ we’d end up together. "Friends from the beginning, friends ‘til the end," he would always say.

He completely ignored the fact that his new best friend was my sister.

I told Goten he must have been crazy,
'Cause you were just about to say ‘I do.’

I told him I was glad he didn't. But that’s only what I told him. I knew he would have made Marron feel so bad by doing that. In fact, she’d hate me forever most probably. At least I could still see her. Look upon her fondly and joke with her, just like we used to.

Yeah. I could still see her. I could still look at her with sad eyes, wishing I was the one that she laid down with at night. I could still watch her hair glimmer in the sunlight, my golden haired angel. I could still touch her hand and hug her, smile at her, even if inside I was crying. But I wasn’t kidding myself, nothing would ever be the same between us. Maybe It would have been better if Goten had said something.

He just gave me a wink and said all he could think,
Was it could've been me with you.

And I wouldn’t let him see it, but knowing he thought that me and Marron was a sure thing made me go into a temper tantrum later. I seemed to find myself out in the woods for no reason and blowing things up. Feeling my hands grow hot with ki and blasting it into the ground, shaking the ground that I did not stand on. After all, that’s what a saiyajin is supposed to do right? Have a ‘tantrum’ but never cry. Crying was against the rules.

Plus the fact I couldn’t let Marron see how much she hurt me.

It could've been me,
Standing there with you.

And the wedding pictures that Goten gave me just stood out in my mind. The pictures that I had pushed under my desk where I could never see them again. Well, I thought I'd never see them again, but I can imagine them perfectly. They stand out in my mind, every detail, every expression. I could remember every piece of lace that hung down from that girl; no, woman's dress, every curve of her ear and face, every strand of her hair. But that wasn't too hard, I had already memorized her by heart.

I could still remember her face as she wrapped her hands around Uub's neck. One big smile, but not that special smile that she used to me. "Why?" I asked. "Why did Uub have to go for her, and not Pan? Why her, and not some other girl? Why did he take the one I loved?"

It could've been me,
And my dreams coming true.

It wasn't my dream at the time, but that all changed. I guess I always knew me and Marron would spend the rest of our lives together. I just never imagined it as 'only friends'.

But those dreams move on
If you wait too long.

But she needed something more than what I could give. Something that meant she was more than just someone that I came to when I needed support. Scratch that, I could give that to her. The thing was that I never really thought about it, never thought about something that would change my whole life later on.

It took me 'til now to see,
It could've been me.

If only I had stayed by her side the whole time. If only I could feel her warm touch again, could I get her to change her mind? Could I reach into her heart and find that certain place I had touched before that made her love me? Would she ever take me back?

I guess what’s done is done. I can’t just undo everything.

I don't guess I ever told you,
That I went out and bought you a ring.

I buried my hand in my pocket, searching for that small box I had been keeping for a couple weeks. I felt the familiar fuzzy gray square, and just stood there looking at the hedges that looked sort of tarnished even though it was brand new.

I turned it over and felt it in my cold hands. It used to feel nice in my grip, but now, it was only coarse and ugly.

I even carried it around in my pocket,
Waiting to say the right thing.

"God," I cried, holding my head in my hands. "I was going to say something! I was going to spend the rest of my life with her!" But no. Uub had to come. Sweep her off her feet for how long? It seemed like such a short time. And the next thing I knew... they were married. And I was a old piece of trash, thrown to the side, away from my only love.

I opened the gray box and looked at the diamond. I would have given her everything. I bought this for her, but every time I got up the nerve to ask her, something went wrong.

Maybe I was just waiting for a time of perfection when I should have taken what I got. But I thought for a perfect girl, there had to be a perfect time and place to give something for her. She was worth so much, so much more than all the money in the world, so much more than me.

I pulled it out the other day,
But the diamond had lost its shine.

Looking at it, it looked like a pearl. Imperfect and murky. But I knew it would never look beautiful again, unless it was on her hand.

Well, I know how it feels 'cause my eyes grow dim,
When I think you could have been mine.

Because it was the only thing I ever wanted.

It could've been me
Standing there with you.

We look so much better together than her and Uub or me and anyone else. I’ll never be able to look happy without her standing beside me. She'll never smile the way she used to. "Did you settle for Mr. Almost Perfect Marron?" I asked myself, even though I used her name. "Did you settle for the one who could support you, the one who was already there for you? Did you just settle for him?

Was he everything you wanted in me, but just not... me?

It could've been me
And my dreams coming true.

Being with her would be the best thing that ever happened to me. I was loosing her, watching our conjunction fall down in flames, helpless to stop it. It was too late to stop this.

But those dreams move on,
If you wait too long...

I waited for the right moment that never came. Something tells me I’ll never find what I had with Marron again. With her or anyone else.

I guess I'm destined for nothing at all, for a life of work, a life of no emotion or happiness. A life where I live to see her again, but will never be able to touch her.

It took me 'til now to see
It could've been me.

And I would have been the happiest man on earth, if she’d let me be.

I know I called you just in time to be too late

I can’t help but wonder what might had happened if I had called her a few days earlier. Maybe it would be me standing next to her in that picture on the wall; her in the white dress, me in the tux which I would gladly wear for her. Maybe I’d be the one that she was frolicking with at the beach.

You know dreams move on if you wait too long.

I know it all too well now. If I ever get another chance, I’ll take it. I promise. I promise you this Marron.

It took me 'til now to see,
It could've been me.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. I looked longingly into a picture that was folded and unfolded so many times. Me and her. And a smile graced both our faces.

It should've been me.