================CHAPTER ONE- The Intro================
Written by: Sarah Edited by: Lauren
Stacy walked with Lauren into the west gym, where they were sent for the beginning of the year Sophomore assembly. They looked around the bleachers to see who else was there. "Hey there's Cartman," said Lauren.
"Woopdy doo!" Stacy said sarcastically, "You should get an award for spotting that fat ass." She added, rolling her eyes.
"No idiot," Lauren said, "he's sitting with Kyle, Stan and Kenny."
"Really?" Stacy asked. "Lets go sit with them." They walked up the bleachers and sat a row below them.
"Hi guys," Lauren said.
"Hey Lauren, Stacy," Stan said.
"Hi Kenny," Stacy said as she and Kenny hugged.
"Mph mmphy," Kenny said and Stacy stared at him blankly.
"I'm guessing you said 'hi,'" She said and Kenny nodded, "awesome!"
"Yeah because that wasn't obvious or anything," Cartman said.
"Hey bite me," Stacy said.
"I'm guessing that you two are still going out then..." Kyle said looking at Kenny and Stacy. They both nodded. "But you didn't see each other all summer?"
"No, we did," Stacy said.
"Mmph mmmphy mph mph mmph," Kenny said and they all laughed. Stacy blinked a few times then nodded slowly not knowing what he said.
"You know she probably cheated on you..." Cartman said. "Slut."
"Fat ass," Stacy said.
((Sarah's Note-I�m just having Mr. Macky be the councilor still because I don't feel like making up someone. Lauren's Note- He's the high school councelor in the morning, junior high councilor during lunch, and at the grade school in the afternoon))
Mr. Mackey entered the gym. "Can I have everyone�s attention mmkay?" Everyone quieted down slightly. "I just have to-mm-tell you all that the same rules still apply mmkay. Just like last year. Mmkay. So we want you to set a good example for the Freshman mmkay." He paused as everyone grumbled to themselves. "You will be going to all your classes for 10 minutes today so you know where they are. Mmkay. We have your schedules up here if you need them or had yours changed mmkay. You can have time to catch up with all of your friends for about 10 minutes." Everyone started talking again.
"That was boring and not needed." Lauren said.
"Yeah but the little baby freshman needed an assembly so they gave us one." Stan said.
"I�m bored already and school hasn�t even started." Stacy said.
"That's because you have a short attention span." Kyle said and Stacy shrugged.
"Let me see your schedule." Stacey snatched the paper out of Kyle's hand, saying, "Oh cool, we have 1st hour and drivers ed together. Lunch and 8th hour, too... Hey I have more classes with you then I did last year."
"Let me see yours," Stan said taking Stacey�s out of her hand as Kyle took his back. "We have sex ed together...and next semester we have PE together."
"And our lockers are next to each other." Stacy took her schedule back. "Can I see yours Kenny?" He gave the paper to her, "Thanks sweetie...hey you have Drivers Ed, and sex ed with us too. And we have lunch together too! Awesome."
"What lunch do you have?" Cartman asked.
"5B," Stacy said.
"Oh good! I have 4A," said Cartman.
"So do I," Lauren and Stan chorused.
"Oh damn. After Cartman they�ll be no food left for the rest of us." Stacy said.
"Shut up you stupid bitch!" Cartman yelled.
"Mmph mmmph mph mmphy mmmph," Kenny said glaring at Cartman. "Mmmph mmmph mph mmph mmphy!"
"It's not like you�ll be able to afford any food anyway Kenny," Cartman said.
"Mmph mph."
"I understood that." Stacy said and Lauren nodded smiling. "And don't fucken talk about my boyfriend like that you jackass."
"Why don't you mind your own business you whore!" Cartman said.
"Oh I�m not even CLOSE to being as big of a whore that your mom is Cartman! So there's no need to be calling ME that!" Stacy said.
"OK..." Stan said, "Stacy how about you go and talk to Butters...he�s right over there." Stacy looked at Stan and shrugged.
"Hey Butters!" she called, walking over to him.
"What a bitch," Cartman said.
"Mmph mmph mmphy mphh." Kenny said.
"Aww, he�s sticking up for her," Lauren said smiling at Kyle as Kenny and Cartman continued their fight. "If Stacey was here she would ... well not know what the hell he said ... but if she did she would be happy!"
"You�d think she�d know what he was saying by now." Kyle said.
"Do you think there relationship would work out if she did?" Stan asked.
Kyle shrugged. "I guess not."
"Love is a universal language...even if he�s not speaking a different language ... well you know what I mean." Lauren said.
"She just puts in what she wants to hear; that's why she likes him." Stan said and Lauren smiled.
"Sometimes it�s close." She said and Kyle nodded.
"Unless it�s something it would be better she didn�t hear..." He said and smiled.
"Mmkay everyone," Mr. Macky said and everyone looked over at him, "Mmkay it�s time you all go to your first class mmkay." Stacy walked with Butters over to Kyle.
"Butters has our first class." Stacy said.
"Oh ... ok," Kyle said and Stacy gave him a mean look. "What?"
"Nothing.." She said rolling her eyes. "Bye Kenny," she said and they hugged, "see you later sweetie."
"Mmph mph mmph mph mmph?" Kenny asked and Stacy stared at him.
"Uh..." she said and looked at Lauren. "Later...?" she said questioningly as Lauren grinned to herself. Kenny sighed and shook his head slightly as they all split up in the hallway. Stacy went to American Literature with Kyle and Butters, as Lauren went to Science with Cartman.
*********************
Lauren looked at Cartman and grabbed his schedule out of his hands and looked at it then smiled slightly.
"Uh-oh," she said and Cartman looked at her, "we have all our classes together. Except eighth hour." He grinned and shrugged.
"What? You think we�re going to do something to get in trouble?" He asked.
Lauren rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah because last year we didn�t at all." A woman with black hair was sitting in the front of the room. As the bell rang, she stood up.
"Everyone listen up..." she said and everyone went on talking. "I SAID LISTEN UP!" she shouted and everyone stared at her. "Thank you. Well, I�m Mrs. Turnner and this is Introduction to Physical Science." She handed out a paper with what they were going to do this year. "As you can see were going to start out with learning about speed and velocity, and how fast things go-"
"Aren't those all the same thing?" Lauren asked Cartman quietly.
"Then next were going to learn about graphs and the metric system-" Mrs. Turnner said.
"I thought this was science not math." Cartman said.
"Then we will learn about the elements and the things on the periodic table-" Mrs. Turnner said.
"That's the same thing too!" Lauren said.
"This class sucks." Cartman said.
"And she�s boring," said Lauren.
"Hey!" Mrs. Turnner said looking at Lauren and Cartman. "How about you two show some respect and shut up when I�m talking!" She turned to the rest of the class and started going over what they would need in this class.
"I think someone�s on their periodic table." Cartman said and Lauren laughed.
"Yeah what a bitch," she said.
"Excuse me," Mrs. Turnner said turning back to them. "What did you say?"
"Who me?" Lauren asked and the teacher nodded. "Oh I--"
"What she said was," Cartman cleared his throat and took out his megaphone, "WHAT A BITCH!"
"Well I believe you two should take a trip to meat your new dean!" Mrs. Turnner said.
"I would be glad to," said Cartman.
"Yeah, anyone's better then you." Lauren and Cartman both stood up and walked out of the class room laughing. "You think that's a record?"
"Probably," said Cartman. "We should check Guinness."
"Who is our new vice principal, anyway?" Lauren asked.
"I don't know," Cartman said, "but I'm going to miss Mr. Knox." Lauren smiled and nodded. They walked into the office and walked down the hall to the dean for students with a last name starting with A-P. As Cartman opened the door, they both gasped.
***************
Stacy was sitting at a desk in front of Kyle and next to Butters talking quietly as the teacher spoke about what they were going to cover that year.
"Hey guys, guess what?" Stacy said. There was a long pause while Stacy waited for them to actually guess.
"What?" Butters said finally.
"Next weekend me and Lauren get to go camping!" she said, "You can come too...but you need to bring your own tent because my mom..." she smiled. "Well, she hardly trusts Kenny when we�re sitting right by her. It�s not like she�s going to trust any other boys in the same tent as me."
"Yeah because we all know Kenny would never try anything..." Kyle said sarcastically. "She doesn�t trust him because she can actually under stand him."
"I don't need to understand him." Stacy said.
"Hey," Someone whispered from behind Kyle. They all turned around and looked at Wendy who was glaring at them, "Why don't you guys be quiet you might actually learn something."
"Hey why don't you mind your own business?" Stacy said.
"Well, it becomes my business when your interrupting my learning experience!" Stacy rolled her eyes.
"Would you just shut up and stop preaching to us?" She asked.
"I�m sorry if I actually want to learn. How dare I want to do that in a school." Wendy said.
"I know. You should be ashamed." Stacy said.
"Stacy just ignore her..." Kyle said. "She cant help it if she�s a bitch."
"Excuse me," Wendy said as Stacy laughed, "Kyle I don't think you were even in the conversation so why don't you just stay out of it."
"What the truth hard to handle?" Stacy asked.
"I may be a bitch, but at least I�m not a skank!" Wendy said. "I mean, it�s so obvious. Just look who your boyfriend is."
"Stacy," Kyle said nervously, "Don't do anything stupid."
Stacy stood up glaring at Wendy.
"All right you want to go?" she asked and Wendy stood up too. "Bring it on!"
"Lets go!" Wendy said.
"Excuse me ladies," The teacher said and they both looked up at the front of the room, "Please sit down and pick your fights at a later date." Both girls sat down, "Thank you."
"I told you not to do anything stupid," said Kyle. "You could have gotten in a lot of trouble."
Stacy sighed. "Oh Ky Ky," she said, "calm down...I didn�t get in trouble now did I?" Kyle stared at her.
"Ky Ky?" he asked and Stacy shrugged.
"It�s your new nick name." She said.
"What ever." Kyle said shaking his head. "Did anyone ever tell you that you that your an idiot?" Stacy laughed and nodded.
***************
"Mr. Garrison!" Lauren and Cartman said at the same time gapping at their new vice principal.
"Oh hello Lauren, Eric..." Mr. Garrison said, "Let me guess: you cussed out the teacher so now your in trouble." Both students stood motionless in shock. "Just sit down!"
"I thought you quit teaching." Lauren said as she and Cartman sat down.
"I did," Mr. Garrison said. "But Mr. Hat talked me into doing this job. And I�m not really teaching am I?"
"No I guess not..." Lauren said.
"Shit!" Cartman said. "Shit this sucks ass! I thought I was rid of you after elementary school. It's bad enough Macky is here! But you! This sucks ass!"
"Calm down Eric," Garrison said, "I�ll just let you off with a warning this time but next time your in here it�s a 15 minute detention." The bell rung and both of the teens stood up, "Now go away me and Mr. Hat were in the middle of an important conversation." They both left and walked down the hall silently still in shock.
"Hey guys!" Stan called as him and Kenny both walked up to them, "What's the matter? Did you already get sent to the office?"
"Yeah..." Lauren said.
"Mmph mmph mph mmmph?" Kenny asked.
"Our new dean is Mr. Garrison." Cartman said.
"Oh weak," Stan said they all nodded in agreement. "Well I have to go this is my class."
"See you," Lauren said and he walked into the classroom. The rest of them walked to the drivers ed classroom and sat down next to Kyle and Stacy.
"Hi Lo Lo, Ke Ke, Car Car," Stacy said, "Hey, he has a cool one! That's not fair..." she sighed. "You suck."
"Call me Lo Lo again and I will totally kill you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Cartman asked staring at Stacey like she was an idiot.
"She�s making up nicknames." Kyle explained.
"You are completely psycho." Cartman said to Stacy who shrugged.
"Guess who the new Dean is?" Lauren said.
"Who?" Kyle asked.
"Mr. Garrison."
"No shit?" Kyle asked.
"No shit," Lauren said.
"That's weak." Stacy said, "Did you two already get sent there?"
"Yes..." said Lauren.
"What did you do?" Kyle asked.
"Nothing much," Cartman said.
"Stacy almost got sent there." Kyle said.
"Mmph mph mph?" Kenny asked Stacy who stared at him.
"Um...I almost got in a fight with Wendy..." she said questioningly.
"Why?" Lauren asked.
"She�s a bitch and I hate her. She also called me a skank"
"Well that's just because you are." Cartman said.
"Fuck you," Stacy said. A gothic girl walked by Stacy�s desk, kicking her bag out of her way and sitting in the back of the row. Stacy glared down at her. "You know, you could of stepped over it."
"I could have," The girl said. Stacy looked back at her friends who shrugged.
"Hello class." the teacher said walking into the room and closing the door. He was quite old and bald. "I am Mr. Cleen-" the class giggled, "-Yes, yes, make fun of my name all you want. But today we aren�t going to do anything. I�m going to throw a ball to you and when you get it tell us your name. And if you just moved here where your from." He tossed the ball to Cartman.
"My name is Eric Cartman," Cartman said and handed the ball to Kenny and Stacy clicked her tongue.
"Your suppose to throw it," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Mph mmph mph Mmphy," Kenny said and tossed the ball across the room to Token.
"My name is Token," he said and threw the ball to the gothic girl.
"My name is Hanna," she said, "And I�m from Kansas." She threw the ball to Tweek.
"Uhg...my name is Tweek," He said and then quickly tossed it over to Lauren.
"Hey. I�m Lauren," she said and tossed the ball to a girl with red hair. ((Sarah's Note- You know, that little girl on the show who doesn�t do anything but sits near the boys))
"My name is Alice," she said and passed the ball to Stacy.
"Hello everyone," Stacy said waving, "My name is Stacy Nicole Miller."
"We don't need to know your whole name." Cartman said, "No one is that interested in you."
"Bite me Cartman," Stacy said passing the ball to Kyle.
"My name is Kyle." He tossed the ball to Clive.
"My name is Clive," he said and he passed it to Bebe.
"My name's Bebe." she said and passed it to Wendy.
"My name's Wendy Testeburger." she said and tossed it over to Butters.
"My name's Butters." He said and handed it to Pip. ((Lauren's Note- Sarah you dip! His NAME is LEOPOLD!))
"My name is Phillip but everyone calls me Pip," he said and passed it to a tall boy with blonde hair.
"My name is Jarred," he said, "I moved here from Aspen" he looked around the classroom then threw it to the teacher.
"Ok," Mr. Cleen said and looked at the clock, "you guys can have the rest of the 5 minutes to talk amongst yourselves."
"Hey, did you see the sign out in the main entrance when you all came in?" Stacy asked and they all stared at her.
"No Stacy," Kyle said, "please tell us what it was about."
"Why are you saying it like that?" Stacy asked Kyle shook his head.
"Just tell us." he said.
"It was about homecoming on September 18!" Stacy said and the other four groaned. "What?" she asked. "Don't you all want to go?"
"Not really." Lauren said.
"Kenny don't you want to go with me?" Stacy asked looking at him and smiling sweetly.
"Mmphmmmph mmph mph." Kenny said and Stacy looked at him.
"He said homecoming sucks ass," Kyle explained.
"No it doesn�t!" Stacy said, "And besides, you're all coming to the game to see me sing the national anthem like last year."
"Yeah because that was so fun," Cartman said.
"No one forced you to go." Stacy said.
"Yes you did!" Lauren said, "You said you had better go or you�ll kill him. That qualifies as forcing."
"Whatever." Stacy said. "But Kenny you have to go ... who am I supposed to go with if you don't go?" she asked.
"It�s not like he�ll be able to afford any tickets anyway." Cartman said.
"Mmph mph!" Kenny said. "Mmph Mmhpy mmph mph mph mph."
"He said he would go." Lauren said.
"Oh you rock!" Stacy said and hugged him. The bell rang, and everyone got up out of there seat and walked into the hallway. "Where are you guys going?"
"Math," Lauren said.
"P&E." Kyle said
"Hey look it�s Sta Sta!" Stacy said and waved to Stan as he just stared at her and walked past them. "Ok I�ll talk to you later." Kyle smiled and shook his head.
"Wait, Stan, we have next hour together!" He called and walked after him.
"Bye Ky Ky," Stacy said. She looked at her schedule, "I�m going to chorus ... Where you going?"
"Mmph Mmph mph Mmph mph mmph mph." Kenny said.
"He�s coming with me and Cartman to EA2." Lauren said.
"Oh," Stacy said, "Have fun sweetie," she kissed Kenny on the cheek and walked down the hall to the chorus room. She put her bag down by the door and sat down in a chair in the front row.
"Hey Stacy," Bebe said and sat down by her. "Are you going to try out for one of the music groups this year, or are you just going to blow it off like last year?"
"Actually, Bebe," Stacy said, "I�m going to try out. Are you?"
"Of course I am," Bebe said. "I hope I make Table for 12 this year. It would be so exciting wouldn�t it?"
"Yeah..." Stacy said and then turned away from her and rolled her eyes. She looked next to her and saw the new boy from her Drivers Ed class. "Hey your in my Drivers Ed class aren�t you."
"Yeah, I�m Jarred." He said.
"Stacy," She said and smiled, "Where are you from?"
"Aspen," Jarred said.
"Oh skiing country." Stacy said. "I dont like skiing; I�m afraid of heights. So I probably would freak out."
"I never really liked it either." Jarred said as Stacy looked towards the door.
"Hey look it�s Timmy!" she said and got up and went over to him, "Timmy my man, my homie g dawg! What is up!"
"Timmah!" Timmy said and Stacy nodded, "Timmah Tim Timmah."
"Same. I really didn�t do much." she said and Bebe looked at her oddly. Stacy sighed as she saw her out of the corner of her eye, "What Bebe?"
"How can you understand Timmy and not Kenny?" She asked and Stacy stared at her. "I can understand Kenny."
"That's nice, but I don't care." She turned back to Timmy, "Anyway, before that rude interruption," she glanced at Bebe who rolled her eyes, "Can I see your schedule?"
"Timmah." Timmy said handing it to her. Stacy looked it over and nodded.
"We have lunch and Business together." she said as the teacher started to take roll.
**************
"I hate math," Lauren said as they sat down in their seats, �Hey look it�s Tweek again. Hey Tweek." he yelled and sat down on the other side of the classroom, "Ok...I don't think he likes me."
"No he�s just crazy." Cartman said.
"Mmph mmph mmmph." Kenny said and Lauren smiled and nodded.
"Ok, class, let's just tell you all that I do not take late work or grade for completion like your teachers did when you were freshmen." The teacher said.
"That fucken sucks." Cartman said.
"Young man next time you say that word in front of me you will see your dean!" The teacher said.
"Oh fuck I�m sorry." Cartman said.
"Oh shit you said fuck!" Lauren said.
"Oh fuck you said shit!" Cartman said and they both laughed.
"I think you should both go visit your dean." The teacher said.
"I think we should too." Lauren said.
"Yeah I mean were fuckin bad kids." Cartman said.
"Fucken rotten to the core." Lauren said as they closed the door behind them. "That was fun."
"You two are back again!" Garrison said when they reached his office. "What the hell did you do this time?"
"We said fuck," Cartman said.
"I thought we went over why you shouldn�t say curse words before." Garrison said.
"Yeah but that was so long ago we forgot all about it." Lauren said.
"You two had better not make it a routine coming in here." Garrison said. "Or Mr. Hat might have to do something terrible to you."
"But we miss you." Lauren said.
"And Mr. Hat rocks." Cartman said sarcastically.
"He does rock doesn't he." Garrison said and they nodded. "All right, you can go to your next class. But this had better be your last time to see me." Both teens stood up as the bell rang and they left his office smiling.
"Mr. Hat rocks?" Lauren asked.
"We miss him?" Cartman asked and they both shrugged.
((Sarah's Note- We're skippin' to 8th hour because I'm too lazy to write. Lauren's Note- Well let me just mention that Cartman and I are in Drama together, so you don't get confused later when we're in that class))
Stacy walked into the Business room with Butters, laughing hysterically. She sat down next to Lauren still laughing.
"What's so funny?" Lauren asked.
"Butters nick name is But But..." she laughed again and put her head on the desk shaking with laughter.
"Butter's nickname is Butters..." Lauren said.
"She was calling me that all last class." Butters said
"No one was talking to you Butters." Cartman said.
"Hey be nice to him," said Stacy. "He�s cool, and your just an fatass." She said.
"I�m not fat I�m big boned!" Cartman yelled, "And your short."
"I�m not short!" Stacy said and kicked him in the shin. "Ass..." she muttered.
"Mmmph mph mmph mph mmph." Kenny said as he sat down and Stacy stared at him.
"What?" She asked. "Honey, if your going to talk, do it slowly and don't mumble."
"Mph mmph mmmph." Kenny said.
"I understand him." Lauren said.
"So does everyone else." Cartman said.
"So...I understand Timmy." Stacy said, "And you all can�t. So what now punk." She looked at them, "And its not like he always has his hood on around me. He takes it off a lot ... like when were at my house or at his house or something."
"Mmph mmph mph mph." Kenny said then Lauren laughed Stacy stared at them.
"I don't want to know what you just said." She said shaking her head, "Hey Ky Ky, Sta Sta what's shakin�Ebacon?"
"Nothing," Kyle said, "How was your classes?"
"Peachy." Stacy said.
"We got sent to Garrisons like in all our classes practically." Lauren said. "It was all Eric's fault."
"Who�s Eric?" Stacy asked and Lauren pointed to Cartman, "Oh yeah I knew that. My dad calls you that when he�s telling me that he�s going to hang out with your mom or whatever."
"You're a dumb ass." Cartman said.
"Hello class!" A middle aged man with black hair said standing in front of the room. "I am Mr. Lee. Now all sit where you want to sit for the rest of the semester then I�ll take roll." Everyone looked around at who they were sitting by but didn�t move. "OK," Mr. Lee said and took roll. "Now today we will be taking names out of a hat to see who you will be researching. First you will research about the place they work, then in about 2 weeks you will get to follow them around for a day. So who wants to go first?"
"I will!" Stacy said and jumped up and walked to the front of the class. She reached into the had and pulled out a name.
"Now open it and see who you got." Mr. Lee said. Stacy unfolded the name and sighed.
"Son of a bitch..." she said and looked at Mr. Lee, "I mean shit...I mean crap...I mean damn...urgh...darn!" she walked slowly back to her seat.
"Who do you have?" Lauren asked.
"Crabtree." Stacy said and the class laughed. "Hey you just wait till I get to boss you all around on the bus. Then we�ll see who�s laughing!" everyone quieted down except Lauren.
"I know I will be!" she said and Stacy rolled her eyes. Lauren stood up and walked to the front of the class. She reached into the hat and unfolded her name. "Hey cool! I have Satan!"
"Dude that's no fair!" Stacy said.
"I�ll go next." Stan said and walked up and picked out a name and sat back down.
"Who do you have?" Kyle asked.
"Ned," Stan said.
"Hey you get to just hang out with your uncle." Kyle said and he walked up to the front of the class and picked out a name, "I got Jimbo."
"That's not fair either!" Stacy said. "They're not going to learn anything!"
"Would you just shut up." Wendy said getting up and picking out a name, "You complain to much." She looked at her name. "Oh cool I got Chef."
"Your a stupid bitch, but you don't hear me say anything about it." Stacy muttered.
"Mmph mmph mph mmph." Kenny said getting up and picking out a name, "Mmph mph mmph mmmph." he sat back down and Stacy stared at him.
"Who did he get?" she asked Stan.
"He got Jesus." Stan said and Stacy nodded.
"Oh OK." She said as Hanna picked out a name.
"Who did you get?" Lauren asked.
"Mr. Tweek," She said.
"That's my dad." Tweek said and Hanna stared at him. Cartman walked up to the front of the room and picked out a name. He stared at it for a moment, then sat down.
"Who did you get?" Lauren asked reading over his shoulder and laughing.
"Can I trade with someone?" He asked.
"No," Mr. Lee said.
"Who do you freakin' have?" Stacy asked getting up and taking it from him then laughing. "It�s just Garrison! What's so bad about him? It will just be like every other day your in his office."
"Hey and you can give people detentions..." Lauren said. "Trade me?"
"No," Cartman said as Butters picked out Barbrady, Bebe picked out That Movie Guy ((Lauren's Note- You know, the one from the SP movie...)), Timmy picked out the Mayor, Tweek picked out Mackey. Jarred finally walked up to the front of the class and picked out a name.
"Who are Terrance and Phillip?" Jarred asked.
"DUDE!" The whole class shouted.
"Now that's defiantly not fair that he gets them!" Stacy said.
"How do you not know who Terrance and Phillip are?"
"We had a war because of them!"
"Does 'Asses of Fire' ring a bell?"
"Their like the most famous Canadians ever!"
"Where do you live under a rock?"
"OK everyone leave Jarred alone." Mr. Lee said as the bell rang. Everyone left the class as quickly as they could and then left school.


=====================CHAPTER TWO- You Like Who?====================
Written by: Sarah Edited by: Lauren (and I also wrote a few scenes)
Everyone was walking over to Stacy�s house when they noticed Cartman�s mom's car in the driveway.
�What's you mom doing at Stacy�s house?" Stan asked.
�She's over at my house a lot." Stacy said.
�And when she�s not over here her dad�s at my house." Cartman added.
�That's odd," said Lauren, as they walked in.
�Hey kids!" Ms. Cartman said. �Guess what happened today!"
�What?" Cartman asked.
�Richard and I got engaged!" She said. ((Lauren's Note- Richard is Stacy's dad's name)) �We�re getting married next week. Isn�t that great?"
Everyone stared at her in shock as Lauren started laughing.
�That means your going to be Eric's SISTER!"
She looked at Cartman. "No offense."
�I don't find it funny at all..." Stacy turned to Liane ((Lauren's note- That's Eric's mom's first name. And NO we didn't make it up.)) �You mean your getting married? Next week? Like for real?"
�Yes!" She said and hugged Stacy and Cartman, �We�ll be one happy family!"
Lauren laughed even more, as Liane said, �Well, kids, I have to go. And Stacy I was wondering if you would want to be a bridesmaid at my wedding?
�Uh...okay..." Stacy said as Ms. Cartman walked out of the house. �This sucks!" Stacy said.
�Oh come on, look at the bright side," said Kyle.
�And that is?" Stacy asked.
�Uh..." Kyle said.
�Cartman�s mom�s loaded." Lauren inserted.
�Mmph mmph mph mph mmph." Kenny said.
�Yes it is," Cartman said, then looked at Stacy. �And you're not the only one who is mad about this. I'm getting totally screwed over by this."
Stan smiled. "That's the other good part."
*****************
Everyone was talking in the business room before class started. Stacy, however, wasn't there yet. Mr. Garrison was sitting in the corner, evaluating Mr. Lee.
�Ok, everyone, get into partners for your project on economy." Mr. Lee said. As everyone paired up Stacy came in.
�Sorry I�m late," She said, �what did I miss?"
�Everyone got in partners." Mr. Lee said, �For their project. There�s no extra people, so just work with Lauren and Eric."
�How about I work with Kenny? Who is he with..." Stacy peered around the room, then glared. "Hanna... In that case, I want to work with them."
�Since you were late to class, I get to pick who you work with." Mr. Lee said. Stacy sighed and stomped over to Lauren and Cartman.
�I�m with you two." She said.
�Damnit," Cartman said.
�Are you mad your working with me?" Lauren asked.
�No," Stacy said, �I�m mad that I�m working with Cartman. And that Kenny�s working with that GIRL." Lauren looked over and saw Hanna and Kenny talking.
�I like Hanna," she said, �she's kind of quiet, but she's nice."
�I don't like her," Stacy complained.
Lauren rolled her eyes. �Well obviously."
�So anyway, whats our project on?" Stacy asked.
�The economy."
�Ok, you two have fun. I�ll be over here supervising." Cartman said.
�Your doing some work to fatass!" Stacy said.
�I�m not fat!" Cartman yelled, �Shorty."
�I�m not short!"
�Oh would you both shut up!" Lauren looked at Cartman. �And you are going to do some work."
�Just try and make me bitch!" Cartman said and Lauren glared at him.
�God! The only reason I chose you to be my partner in the first place is because I like-" Lauren's eyes widened, and she fell quiet. "I mean-"
�OH MY GOD! YOU LIKE CARTMAN!" Stacy yelled, making everyone looked at them. �I mean ... OH MY GOD!"
�What are you yelling about Stacy?" Garrison asked looking up.
�LAUREN LIKES CARTMAN!" Stacy yelled.
�Why?" Garrison asked.
�OH MY GOD!" Stacy yelled and ran out the door.
�Where is she going?" Mr. Lee asked as the loud speaker clicked on.
�OH MY EVERYONE! LAUREN BLACK LIKES ERIC CARTMAN!" Back in the room, everyone stared at Lauren, who winced and put her head on her desk. Over the loudspeaker, they heard, �NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I�M NOT FINISHED TALKING ... HEY GIVE IT BACK!" The loud speaker clicked off and a minute later Stacy came back in the room, escorted by Lamboly. ((Lauren's Note- The other dean. Everyone hates him)) �I didn�t do anything wrong..." she said as she sat back down in her seat.
�I can't believe you." Lauren said.
�What?" Stacy asked. �I didn�t do anything!"
�No, just told the whole school that I liked Eric," said Lauren.
�It�s because I�m such a stud, isn't it?" Cartman asked, making Lauren sink even further in her chair.
*************
�Why are you guy�s following me?" Kyle asked Stacy and Lauren.
�We�re coming over to your house." Stacy said.
�Why?" Kyle asked.
�To see Ike!" Lauren said as they walked past the grade school. �Look there he is!"
�IKE!" They both yelled. He looked over at them and waved.
�Hi Ike!" Stacy yelled, �We love you! Well, actually, did you hear? Lauren loves Cartman!"
�God Damnit!" Lauren yelled. �Do you have to tell everyone?"
�Yes," Stacy said and Ike walked over to them. �Aw look he�s walking." Kyle stared at her then shook his head.
�Your crazy." He said.
�Your just jealous." Stacy said.
�Jelouse of what?" Lauren asked.
�I don't know..." Stacy said.
�What are you guys doing here?" Ike asked.
�We�re came to pick you up from school," Kyle explained.
Ike turned to Lauren. �Do you really like Cartman?"
�Yes," Lauren looked away angrily. �Why is that so weird?"
�Because Cartman's a prejuduce, sexist, ass." Kyle said.
Lauren thought for a moment. �He may be an ass but he�s my ass ... Wait." As Lauren realized her pun, Stacy laughed.
*************
When they got to Kyle�s home, Stacy put on some old home movies.
�Do we have to watch this?" Kyle asked, �Its embarrassing."
�No it�s not," Stacy said, �Aww look it�s little Lauren!"
�And there's you!" Lauren said. "Oh I was even hot when I was eight..."
�Hey look it�s Ike!" Stacy said.
They watched the screen closely as Kyle said,
Kick the baby!"
�Don't kick the baby..."
�Kick the baby!
Stacy gasped and the rest laughed. �That's so mean!"
�You laughed back then! Look," Lauren pointed at young Stacy on the screen.
�Well that was back then..." Stacy said.
�Oh hey girls," Kyle�s mom said walking into the room.
�Hi Mrs. Broflovsky," Both girls said.
�So Stacy, how do you feel about the wedding coming up?" Sheila asked.
�Uh...excited..." Stacy said.
"Well that's good! After all, you'll have a new brother and mother soon!" As Sheila left the room, Stacy gasped and looked at Lauren.
�Oh my god! When you marry Cartman, we�ll be sisters!"
Lauren shifted her weight. �I just said that I liked him today ... I�m not going to marry him."
�Yes you are," Stacy said, turning back to the screen.
************************
Stacy and Cartman were standing in the church after their parents wedding, listening to relatives say how great it was that Cartman�s mom finally got married ... and making bets on how long the marriage would last.
�I�m bored," Stacy said.
�Me too," Cartman said. �Want to get drunk?" Stacy looked at him and shrugged.
�Sure," she said and they walked into the reception and up to the bar, �Uh, hi, me and Cartman need to get some drinks for our parents."
�OK," The bar tender said and handed them a few drinks.
�Thanks," Stacy said and they walked outside and started drinking.
***********
Lauren, Stan, Kyle and Kenny all walked into the wedding reception and looked around. Lauren cringed.
�I hate dresses, I hate dancing, and I really hate weddings." She said.
�You've already said that about a thousand times," said Kyle.
�Well you're not the one who has to put up with wearing this damn thing..." Lauren said.
�Mmph mph mmmph." Kenny said pointing to Stacy and Cartman.
�Hi guys," Cartman said as Stacy giggled. �KYLE dude I haven�t seen you in forever!" He got up and hugged him.
�What the fuck," Kyle said looking at him scared.
�Dude you know what," Stacy said to Lauren, �Cartman rocks!"
�What?" Lauren asked.
�Mmph mmph mmmph," Kenny said.
�I smell alcohol too," Lauren said. �Oh my God Stacy and Eric are drunk!"
�I�m so not drunk," Stacy said.
�Me so not either," Cartman said and Stacy giggled.
�Your so funny!" she said.
�I�m going to go and tell an adult." Stan said.
�Mmph mph mmph mph," Kenny said.
�Damn it! You better not try anything while she's drunk,Lauren said, taking Cartman and Stacy's glasses away.
�Aw," Kenny said.
�Hey...I�m thirsty," Stacy said.
�Then drink water," Kyle said and Stacy glared at him.
�No one asked you!"
They turned to see Stan leading Chef over to them.
�Hello children."
�Hey Chef,"
�How�s it going?"
�Bad,"
�Why bad children?"
�Stacy and Eric are drunk," Lauren said.
�Well, you see children, getting drunk is like making sweet love to a-" br> �No, all we need to know is how to get them sober." Kyle said.
�Well, all that you can do is get them to sleep-"
�But their related!" Stan said.
�And Eric�s my boyfriend!" Lauren said.
�What?" Chef asked.
�Uh ... you mean Stacy didn't tell you?" Lauren asked.
�No," Chef said, �and I didn�t mean get them to sleep together. Well, goodbye children."
"Bye Chef."
�Make sure none of our parents see them." Stan said, �They�ll be in so much trouble if they get caught." The quickly walked Stacy and Cartman out of the reception, and back to Cartmans house.
�Hey look a penny!" Stacy ran out into the middle of the street, and bent over to get a penny. �Hey guys it�s from 1899! It�s really old!"
�Mmph mph mmmphy mph!" Kenny yelled as a semi truck started towards her.
�What? I can�t hear you!" Stacy yelled back at him.
�MMPH MPH MMMPHY MPH!" Kenny yelled again and Stacy stared at him. Kenny rolled his eyes and ran out in the middle of the street grabbing Stacy and brought her back to the sidewalk.
�Hey Kenny you saved me!" Stacy said. Kenny nodded as the semi ran him over.
�Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" Stan yelled.
�You bastard!" Kyle yelled.
�You know what?" Stacy turned to Cartman. �This is going to be so cool! Now we�re related!"
�I know!" Cartman said. �I'll have someone to share things with and talk to!"
�I love sharing!" Stacy said.
�You know, these two are way more pleasant to be around when their drunk." Kyle said.
"I think it's weird," said Lauren. "Eric and Stacy aren't supposed to be nice. Especially to each other."
�Me and Eric never argue!" Stacy said.
�What did you call him?" Stan asked.
�Eric." Stacy said, �That is his name, silly!" They all stared at her, then walked into Cartman's house and up to his room.
�Now, you lay down in your bed and you ... don't have a bed here do you?" Kyle asked Stacy, who shrugged.
�So I guess that means she�s on the floor." Lauren said �I�ll go get some blankets and pillows.
�YIPPEE!" Stacy said, �It will be like camping! Except inside!"
�I want to sleep on the floor!" Cartman said.
�Just lay down!" Kyle said, as Lauren came back into the room and set up Stacy�s bed.
�Are we going to stay here too?" Stan asked.
�I think we should." Lauren said spreading out the blankets and they all got under it.
�Good night!" Stacy said
*******************Noon*******************
�Wake up kids!" Mrs. Cartman said waking everyone up. �It�s already 12:00." All of the kids groaned and rolled over as Mrs. Cartman closed the door.
�Shouldn�t they have gone on a honeymoon or something..." Lauren said.
�Oww ... My head hurts." Stacy said. �What happened last night?"
�You and Cartman got drunk." Kyle explained.
�Oh... I didn�t do anything totally stupid or anything, did I?"
�Not really, no," Stan said, �You and Cartman were getting along though."
�No way!" Cartman said. �I can�t get along with her because she�s a bitch."
�And your a fatass!" Stacy said.
"I guess everything's back to normal." Lauren said, as Kenny walked in the door, �Hey ... didn�t you get hit by a truck?" Everyone stared at Lauren blankly. �What? I thought ... uh, never mind..."
�Nothing like that happened last night." Stacy said.
�How do you know? You were drunk." Lauren said.
�I think I would remember something like THAT happening!" Stacy said.
�Mph mmph mmph mph mmph?" Kenny said and hugged Stacy.
�Uh...ok..." She said shrugging.
�He asked if you feel better." Stan said.
�Oh, yeah. Sort of ... my head hurts, though." Stacy said. �And where were you?"
�Mph mmph mmph mph mmph mph mmmph." Kenny said.
�He was at Hanna�s house, working on their project." Lauren said, smiling slightly.
�What?" Stacy said. �What were you doing at her house? Was there adult supervision there?"
�Mmph mph mmph mph mmmph." Kenny said.
�He said they were just working on their project." Lauren translated.
�Mph mmph mph mmph." Kenny said.
�And yes her parents were there."
�Mph mmph mph mph mmph." Kenny said Lauren stared at him.
�Are you sure you want me to tell her that?"
�He said don't be so jealous." Cartman said.
�I�m not jelouse!" Stacy said.
�Mph mph!" Kenny said, �Mph mmph mmph mmph mmmph mph mph mph mmph."
�He said you are. And when you flirt with Butters, he doesn�t say anything." Cartman said.
�I don't flirt with Butters!" Stacy said and they all exchanged looks. �What?"
�Yes you do." Kyle said.
�Well, it�s not like Butters is really a threat, now is he?" Stacy asked. �I act the same way around Ike."
�Mph mph." Kenny said.
�He said Ike�s ten." Cartman said.
�Mph mmph mph mmph mph mmph mph mmph mmph." Kenny said.
�And it�s not like he's ever even done anything to make you think he's cheating on you." Cartman said.
�Mph mmph mph mmph mmph mmph mph mph." Kenny said.
�You have a shirt with Butters picture on it." Cartman said.
�That doesn�t mean anything!" Stacy said.
�Mph mmph mph mph mmmph!" Kenny said.
�He said your a dirty whore and short and he never liked you in the first place because your a stupid bitch." Cartman said and they all looked at him. Stacy glared at Kenny then slapped him and left the room. Kenny punched Cartman also leaving the room. �What?" He asked.
�Kenny didn�t say that!" Lauren said.
�Oh, I must of got the words mixed up." Cartman said grinning.
�Why do I even like you?" Lauren asked, as Stan and Kyle followed Kenny. "Wait, I just thought of something... I said, more or less, that I liked you. But you never said YOU like ME."
"Uh, sure I did."
"No you didn't! So say it now- Do you like me?"
Cartman sighed. "Yes, I like you Lauren..."
Lauren smiled and hugged Cartman. "Aww, Eric!"
*************
In drivers ed Monday, Kenny was trying to talk to Stacy, but she was ignoring him.
�Mmphy mph mmph mph mmph." Kenny said.
�Ky Ky, sweety, can you please tell Kenny that I�m not talking to him." Kyle looked at Kenny who rolled his eyes.
�Mmph mph mmph mph." Kenny said glaring at her and moving to a different seat.
�You know Kenny didn�t say that shit about you being a bitch and him being sorry he ever dated you." Kyle said, �Cartman just made it all up."
�Whatever Kyle." Stacy said.
�I have a question," said Kyle. �Homecoming is on Sunday. Are you going to forgive Kenny by then or stay home?"
�I�ll go," Stacy said. �But not with Kenny."
�He didn�t even do anything!" Lauren said.
�Yeah right." Stacy said. Bebe and Wendy walked up to Stacy as the bell rang.
�Hey are you and Kenny broken up?" Bebe asked.
�Yeah, I guess. Why?" Stacy asked.
�Because I heard Kenny asked Hanna to the homecoming dance." Wendy said and Stacy gasped.
�What a jackass." She said.
"I'm not going to stay here when she's mad," said Lauren, as she and Kyle left the room.
�So are you going to go?" Bebe asked.
�Yeah, I�ll find someone." Stacy said running to catch up with Butters.
**************
�What do you mean your parent�s won't let you go to the dance!" Stacy said to Butters the next day.
�I asked but they said I wasn't ready to do something like that." Stacy rolled her eyes.
�God, it�s not like it�s like prom or something! It�s just a stupid dance." Stacy said.
�I�m sorry," Butter said and Stacy turned and started to walk away with Butters following her. �Your not mad at me are you?"
�No, Butters, I�m not mad at you." Stacy said as they went to their business class. �But who the hell am I supposed to go with now?" Butters shrugged as Hanna and Kenny walked into the room holding hands.
�Breath Stacy," Lauren said looking at her. �It�s not like they kissed or anything."
�I�m sure they have though." Stacy said.
�Yeah I saw them kiss out in the hallway," said Cartman.
"ERIC!" Lauren hissed.
�What? I think it�s my obligation to tell my sister the truth."
�Just shut up! Your not helping anything." Lauren turned to Stacy. �What did Butters say? Are you going to homecoming with him?"
�No his parents wont let him go." Stacy said.
�Who are you going to go with then?" Lauren asked and Stacy shrugged.
************
�Hey Kyle," Stacy said, sitting next to him on the bus.
�What?"
�I love you." Stacy said, flashing her most innocent smile.
�What do you want?" Kyle asked.
�Are you going to homecoming with anyone?" Stacy asked.
�No, and that's they way I want to keep it." Kyle said.
�But please ... I need to go! You don't understand!" Stacy said.
�What happened to Butters?" Kyle asked.
�He can�t go." Stacy said, �Come on! Please! Remember all the things I�ve done for you?"
�You haven't done anything for me!" Kyle said and Stacy leaned her head on his shoulder.
�Please!" She whined. �Please! You don't understand I need to go!" Kyle sighed.
�Why don't you ask Stan?"
�Don't you think I already did that?" Stacy asked. �He said he wasn�t going to be caught dead there."
�So I�m your last choice?" Kyle asked.
�No," Stacy said, �I still have like a whole bunch of people I could ask. But I don't want it to come to me going with Tweek. So Please!"
�Fine," Kyle said and Stacy hugged him. �But only because your annoying.
�Oh you're the best!" Stacy said and they got off the bus.
�Hey Stacy, look at Kenny," Cartman said. Stacy looked over her shoulder at Kenny, who was kissing Hanna.
�Oh hell no!" Stacy said, walking over to them then slapped Hanna.
�What the fuck!" Hanna said pushing Stacy back.
�What the hell do you think your doing?" Stacy asked pushing Hanna.
�I THINK I�m kissing my boyfriend." Hanna said. �So step off Shorty."
�What did you call me?" Stacy asked.
�Short," Hanna said do I need to spell it out for you, �S-h-o-r-" Stacy tackled her to the ground before she could finish. The rest of them just watched the two girls fighting.
�You think we should stop them?" Stan asked.
�You can get in there and split them up." Kyle said.
�Maybe we should get the hose." Cartman said.
�Mmph mmph mph mmph mph mph." Kenny said and Lauren rolled her eyes.
�Your so perverted Kenny,

==============Chapter 3- A Dance, a Fight, and a little vacation to Hell================
Written By- Lauren and Sarah
Kyle walked up to Stacy�s house and knocked on the door. Cartman opened the door and looked at Kyle.
�What?" Cartman asked.
�I�m here to pick Stacy up for the dance." Kyle explained.
�Oh," Cartman said, letting Kyle in. �She actually got you to go with her?"
�Yes," Kyle sighed. �I couldn't stand her whining for me to go. Are you going?
�Yeah, me and Lauren are going," Cartman said. �Stacy talked Lauren into going so now she�s dragging me along."
�Hi Kyle," Stacy said, waving at him from the couch. She stood up, wearing a light blue dress. �Are we getting a ride with you?"
�I think so." Cartman asked, �We have to pick up Lauren first."
�Did you get her a corsage?"
�Yes I got her one." ECartman said. �It's kinda hard to forget to buy one with you bitching about it every day!"
Stacy looked at Kyle who, handed her hers. �Thank you."
�Your lucky my mom told me that I should get you one," Kyle said.
�Alright." Stacy said pinning hers on. �Even though this is supose to be you doing this Kyle."
�You'd smack me if I got that close to you." Kyle said and Stacy smiled.
�Mom were ready to go!" Cartman yelled.
�Okay sweetie." Mrs. Cartman said walking into the living room, �Oh hello Kyle."
�Hi Mrs. Cartman." Kyle said. They all got into the car and picked up Lauren who was wearing a dark purple dress.
�Hi everyone." Lauren said getting into the car.
�Hey," Stacy said as they drove the rest of the way to school.
�Have fun kids." Mrs. Cartman said, �I�ll be here to pick you up at 11:30."
�Bye mom," Cartman said.
�Bye Liane." Stacy said and they both shut the doors and walked into the school.
�Hey look Stacy it�s Kenny," Cartman said and Stacy hit him. �Ay! Bitch."
�Lets go dance," Stacy said.
�What?" Kyle said as Stacy pulled him onto the dance floor. �I never said I would dance with you."
Lauren and Cartman sat at a table making fun of all the people.
�Oh my god look at that girls dress," Lauren said laughing then stopped at Kenny walked up to them.
�Why the hell is Stacy here with Kyle?" Kenny asked. ((Sarah's Note- He�s not waring his hood so you can understand him now. Just to let you all know.))
�I think she�s trying to make you jealous." Cartman said.
�Lauren, I thought you said that me dating Hanna would make her take me back." Kenny said.
�So all this is your fault?" Cartman asked smiling at Lauren.
�Kenny," Lauren said slowly, ignoring Cartman, �She tried to beat up Hanna, so obviously she wants you back. But you pissed her off." She looked at Cartman, �Well, technically Eric pissed her off."
�So I�m trying to make her jealous for no reason?" Kenny asked. �Wait, what are you looking at...?" He looked over her sholder and saw Hanna glaring at him, and Stacy, with Kyle, behind her.
�So you were using me?" Hanna asked.
�Uh...well...Yes." Kenny said and Hanna punched him.
�Jackass!" Stacy said, and Hanna looked at her. �I mean, it's sweet that you would do that for me... But using someone is just mean!"
Kenny stared at them. �You have go to be kidding me."
�I mean, that is like the most chauvinistic thing you could do!" Stacy said, slapping him, then turning to Hanna. �You want to go watch a movie?"
�My mom rented the Exorcist." Hanna said, �You can come over and watch it."
�Awesome! I love that movie!" Stacy said and they both started to leave. Stacy came back and kissed Kenny, �Dont take that the wrong way I�m still pissed at you... But call me later." She smiled and left.
�I think she�s bipolar." Kyle said.
�Yeah," Kenny said, �but she's hot."
**************Next Day**************
�Hi Ms. Crabtree!" Stacy said.
�Sit down kid and SHUT UP!" Ms. Crabtree shouted at her.
�No, you see I�m following you around today.�EStacy said. �For business class." She handed over her paper.
�Oh," Mrs. Crabtree said, �well sit down then and watch." Stacy nodded and sat back down.
�Have fun today," Cartman said, grinning as Ms. Crabtree pulled in front of the school.
�Oh, you have fun to with Mr. Garrison," Stacy said getting out her scientific calculator and playing games on it. �Don't do anything I wouldn�t do!"
�Bye Stacy," Wendy said. �Oh, here, can you sign this? It�s for me running as class president." Without listening to a word Wendy had said, Stacy signed the paper. �Thank you!"
�Just get out of here." Stacy said.
*************
�Oh hi Lauren," Satan said. "It�s so nice to have you visit us down in hell. Oh, this is my son, Damien."
"We've met," said Lauren, smiling at Damien.
"Well, this is were I torture the people," said Satan. "Everyone say hi to Lauren. She's here for career day."
"Hi Lauren." All the damned said.
"And this is were we check to make sure the souls are supposed to be here. Sometimes there�s a mix up and they were supposed to go to heaven, so you have to really check. That'll be your job for today."
"Aww, can't I beat Hitler with a stick or something?"
"Sorry, but that's reserved for the demons."
"All right..." Lauren said.
�Damien will help you until you get the hang of it." Satan said. �Have fun kids."
�See you dad," Damien said. �So, what are things like in South Park these days?"
"Well there was this war and Mr. Garrison came out of the closet and so did Jimbo, but nothing really important," Lauren said, sitting down. "So are you ever coming back to South Park?"
"Well, I never really thought about it," Damien said.
"You should come back!" Lauren said.
"But I didn't really fit in when I was there." Damien said.
"Oh don't worry about that. Just do that awesome thing where you blew up Pip and everyone'll like you again."
"Well... I guess I could go back..."
Suddenly, a soul popped up.
"Oh hi. I'm Lauren."
The person looked around. "Oh no! I'm in hell!"
"You may be in hell. What's your name?"
"Robert Mail."
"Yeah ... see, I'm not seeing ya on the list. Have you checked heaven?"
"No..."
"Then go check heaven. We get this all the time."
As the soul disappeared, Lauren turned back to Damien.
"Tomorrow, just show up at school. I'm sure everyone'll like you."
************
At the end of the day, everyone met back at the classroom. Jarred looked especially stunned.
"OH MY GOD WAS YOUR DAY HALF AS AWESOME AS I THINK IT WAS?" Lauren asked him.
"Wow... I didn't know about half of the words they said..." Jarred said.
"That means it was FANTASTIC!" Cartman said.
"Ooh! Name some of the words they said!" Stacy said.
When Jarred said no, Stan said, "Our day wasn't near that exciting."
"Why?"
"All we did was listen to Ned and Jimbo talk about hunting." Kyle explained. "I would've KILLED to go with Terrance and Phillip..."
"Well, my day was awesome!" Stacy said. "Crabtree taught me how to boss people around-"
"Mmph..." Kenny murmured.
"And other stuff and let me drive!"
"I had to pull her over." Butters chimed.
"Phh. It was only because I was a wee bit over the speed limit..."
"Eighty in a hospital zone!" Butters yelled.
"Wow, I'm impressed," said Stan. "I didn't know a bus could go that fast!"
"Well my day was pretty cool, too." Lauren said. "It started out boring because I just told people that had died whether to go to heaven or hell, so I was like a secretary. But then I started talking to Satan and he gave me the power to burn things and guess what? Damien's coming back!"
"What about burning things?" Cartman asked.
"Damien? Awesome!" Stacy smiled. "I haven't seen him in forever! And he has to be bored down in hell..."
"Wait, the burning thing-"
"I know. I started talking to him and I told him that he needed to come back. It'll be good for him to be around kids his own age. Well, kids his own age who are ALIVE."
"LAUREN!"
"What? Do I have to write it out for you?" Lauren sighed. "I can set things on fire. Get it?"
"Ooh..." Stacy smiled evilly. "Wendy! Come over here! Got somethin' to tell ya!"
"I'm not setting her on fire!" Lauren said.
"Aww... why?"
"Because it's wrong."
"Okay..."
"So what did you want?" Wendy asked. Stacy stared at her.
"We just wanted to inform you... that we still don't like you. Run along."
Wendy glared at them, and left.
********
Stacy walked onto the bus with a short girl with lime green hair following her, carrying her books. She sat down next to Kenny and the girl sat on the next seat.
"Who the hell it that?" Lauren asked.
"She's my Freshman," Stacy said. "Isn't she adorable? She's a Packers fan...well I told her to be so she is."
"Uh-huh," Lauren said.
"You found the only person in this school smaller then you to boss around?" Cartman asked.
"Yes," Stacy said flatly. "Anyway this is Ivy. Say hi Ivy."
"Hi," Ivy said and waved.
"Ivy this is my best friend Lauren. She can burn things."
"What?"
"And this is my brother Cartman-"
"Eric." Lauren said.
"And my other two friends, Kyle and Stan, and my boyfriend Kenny." Stacy said, "Isn't he cute." Ivy nodded, "Stay away from him." Ivy nodded again.
"We don't even have ALC homework." Kyle said.
"So," Stacy said.
"What are you doing tonight?" Lauren asked.
"Me and Kenny are going on a date." Stacy said.
"Does your dad know about it?" Cartman asked.
"Yes," Stacy said. "Thanks for your concern. What are you two doing tonight?"
"Nothing," Lauren said.
"Really? No date or anything?" Stacy asked.
"No," Cartman said.
"Mmph mph mmph mmph mph mph mmph?" Kenny asked.
"No, we've never been on a date," Lauren said.
"You should go on one!" Stacy said. "Yeah, tomorrow night your going on a date!"
"Whats the point?" Cartman asked.
"It'll be great!" Stacy said, "You can go to dinner and movie. It'll be so fun!"
"For you." Lauren said.
"Don't worry you wont have to do anything." Stacy said, "I'll set it up."
"Oh wonderful." Lauren said.
*************
"So what movie did Stacy buy us tickets to?" Cartman asked.
"Some romantic piece of crap," Lauren said.
"Go figure," Cartman said as they dat down and waited for the movie to start. Stacy and Ivy sat two rows behind them.
"Now, be quiet so they don't notice us." Stacy said. "But we've got to keep a close watch on them to make sure they have a good time."
"Won't they notice us anyway, since we're right behind them?" Ivy asked.
Stacy rolled her eyes. "They won't if you SHUT UP!"
Meanwhile, Lauren leaned closer to Cartman.
"Eric, keep looking forward, but I think Stacy and Ivy are sitting behind us."
"Yeah I know. How could I miss her yelling?"
"Well, just pretend you don't see her. It'll make her happy if she thinks she's being sneaky."
"Fine..."
As the movie came on, Lauren and Cartman both groaned.
"OH DAMN IT! It's produced by Lifetime," Lauren sighed. "Why did she send us to the most boring movie that's on?"
"Because she's a bitch." Cartman said.
"I AM NOT A- Oh, oops." Stacy sat back down after her little outburst. Lauren and Cartman just sighed, and watched the screen.
"I bet you ten dollars this movie involves both rape and a woman triumphing over a man," Lauren said, and for the rest of the movie she and Cartman just picked out the plot holes of the movie.
************
After the movie ended, Lauren went to Olive Garden.
"Gee, a restaurant Stacy likes. How convenient for her." Lauren sighed. "This entire thing is for her enjoyment."
"Why don't we just tell her we see her and go home?" Cartman asked.
"Because she's having fun. Just humor her."
A few feet away, in the bushes, Stacy giggled. "They don't suspect a thing!"
"I really think they've noticed us..." Ivy said.
"Phh, no they haven't! They're clueless. But..." Stacy glared at the couple. "They're not DOING anything! They just made fun of the movie! Cartman didn't even try the yawn and reach thing!"
"Well they don't exactly seem like the 'romantic' type to me..."
"Shut up minion."
Stacy slipped the waiter a five dollar bill so she could sit at a table close to Lauren and Cartman.
"Ivy, hold up your menu so they don't see your face."
"...but they had to have seen us walk in."
"DO IT!"
At the other table, Lauren sighed. "They could make themselves a little less obvious. I mean, they have their salads and they're STILL holding up their menus."
"You know what? I'm tired of this. I KNOW IT'S YOU STACY!" Cartman yelled.
"No it's not! Who's this 'Stacy' you're talking about?"
"Oh my god, Stacy, you've been following us all night. It's pretty obvious."
"Well I had a good reason! I wanted to make sure your date went well and it HASN'T! You two can't even get a date right!"
Lauren and Cartman looked at each other.
"Actually, it's been pretty good," said Lauren. "We got to make fun of a stupid movie and eat at a cool restaurant. I think it was fun."
"Yeah me to." Cartman agreed.
Stacy shook her head. "You two are impossible. You had a PERFECT opportunity to make out during the movie! Why do you think I sent you to that one? I knew you'd get bored, so I figured you'd start kissing!"
"Well we knew you were there! Would you really have wanted to see Eric and I make out?" Lauren asked.
Stacy blinkied. "Oh. Good point."
"Can we go now?" Ivy asked.
"Yeah I guess. No point in staying now."
"We can all go home together," Lauren said. "I live close enough to you two that I can just walk with you."
"Fine. But the next time I set you up on a date, it's going to be MAGIC."
"Sure, whatever you say. As long as you don't come." Cartman said.
"Or AT LEAST make it less obvious that you're stalking us."
******** In Business the next day Stacy was sitting and staring disgustedly at Lauren and Cartman.
"Ewww..." she said shaking her head. "Ewwwwww...eeeeeewww!"
"What the hell in Stacy's problem?" Stan asked.
"She's been doing that all morning." Kyle said.
"I guess it's from last night when I told her I'd made out with Eric." Lauren said.
"Oh gross!" Stan said.
"Mph mmph mph mmmph!" Kenny said shaking his head.
"Why is that everyone's reaction?" Lauren asked.
"Their just jealous," Cartman said. "Because I'm such a stud muffin."
Lauren started laughing, and then Mr. Lee walked into the classroom.
"Okay everyone, settle down. I have an important announcement." Everone looked at Mr Lee, "There's going to be an essay writing contect. Whoever wins will get to spend a weekend in Toronto with Terrance and Phillip."
Everyone gasped and then looked at Kyle.
"Dude," Stacy said.
"You so have to win!" Lauren said.
"Me? Why me?" Kyle asked.
"Lets face it," Stacy said, "Your the smartest one here."
"HEY!" Lauren said but Stacy ignored her.
"You have to win! We believe in you Ky Ky!" Stacy said.
"I won't win," Kyle said, "I'm a horrible writer!"
"No your not! You get straight A's in English!" Lauren said.
"It's not like we'll make you do it alone," Stan said. "We'll help you."
"We will?" Cartman asked.
"Yeah," Stan said.
"I guess I'll try..." Kyle said.
"Your the best Kyle!" Stacy said.
***********
Later they were all over at Kyle's house in his room trying to figure out a way to start the essay.
"Come on!" Cartman said, "This cant be that hard."
"Yeah," said Lauren, "we've been watching Terrance and Phillip for years!"
"And Phillip is totally hot." Stacy said.
"What?" Kenny said. ((Sarah's Note: Kenny doesn't have his hood on because he's just sitting around...and Kyle's mom has the thermostat up high.))
"And they rock!" Stacy said.
"We've probably seen their movies more then anyone else has." Stan said.
"And we have all the season's of their show on DVD." Lauren said.
"We so deserve it more then anyone else." Stacy said.
"What do you mean Phillip is hot?" Kenny asked.
"Oh come on I have no chance with him." Stacy said, "Chill."
Kyle nodded and started typing at his computer.
"This is going to be so sweet!" Cartman said. "We get to spend a whole week with Terrance and Phillip!"
"It will be so fun!" Stacy said.
"And no parents will be there." Kenny said, smiling.
"Hey Stacy, what's your middle name?" Kyle asked, "I'm using our full names."
"Nicole." Stacy said.
"Hey wait..." Kenny said. "Your initials are SNM?"
"Yeah," Stacy said grinning.
"Mine are too," Stan said.
"Whats your middle name?" Stacy asked.
"Nathan." Stan said.
"Stanley Nathan Marsh...aw thats cute." Stacy said. ((Sarah's note: We dont know if thats his real middle name we just wanted the S'n'M thing.))
"I have a whip..." Lauren said.
"Really?" Kenny asked, smiling.
"I have a mace..." Stacy said. Kenny looked at her a little worried and scooted away from her making Stacy laugh.
"How did you get a mace?" Cartman asked.
"Oh, I don't remember." Stacy said.
"Aww that's awsome! Just like Go-Go from Kill Bill!" Lauren said.
"What's your middle name Cartman?" Kyle asked.
"Theodore." Lauren said. ((Lauren's Note- That really IS his middle name. I looked it up.))
"How do you know Eric's middle name?" Stacy asked then coverd her mouth.
"Hey, you said Eric!" Lauren said as everone laughed. "Aww you love your brother! That's so sweet."
"I do not!" Stacy said, "I've just been around you to much!"
As Stacy and Lauren continued, Kyle kept writing.
((Lauren's Note- Sarah really does freak out if she says Eric))
********
Two weeks later, everyone was waiting for the response at Kyle's house.
"Oh man... I can't stand this pressure!" Lauren said. "If that letter doesn't come today..."
"LET GO OF ME!"
Stacy was holding Ike quite tightly in her anticipation of the letter.
"No way Ike! You're my Canadian good luck charm."
"HEY LOOK! MAILMAN!" Lauren shouted, as everyone crowded into the window. The mailman looked nervously at the seven faces watching him, and put a letter in the mailbox. Kyle ran out and took the mail out of the mailbox looking through everything then held up the letter and yelled running back to them. Everyone crowded around him as he opened the letter.
"WHAT DOES IT SAY!" Stacy yelled in Kyle ear as he started to read the letter. Kyle looked at her and glared before turning back to the letter.
"Dear Kyle Broflovsky thank you for your response...blah blah blah..." he skimmed ahead a few lines, "We are pleased to inform you THAT YOU HAVE WON A TRIP FOR YOU AND 6 FRIENDS TO TORONTO TO MEAT TERRANCE AND PHILLIP!" They all screamed and jumped up and down celebrating. Kyle looked at all of them seriously, "I never said I would take you guys..." Everyone stopped and stared at him. "Just kidding." he said and they all started celebrating again.

===========CHAPTER FOUR- Fun in the Woods==========
Written By: Lauren and Sarah.
The next day in Driver's Ed, Mr. Cleen came in a few minutes late.
"All right everyone, we have two new students today."
Lauren and Stacy looked at each other. "Two?"
"Meet Damien."Damien walked in, and sat near Lauren.
"And Cindy Miller."Stacy slid down in her seat. "Oh no..."
A girl walked in, and everyone stared blankly.
"She looks like Stacy!" Lauren said. "Except with brown hair."
"And she has the same last name! Stacy," Kyle looked between the two girls. "Are you sisters?"
"We're twins." Cindy said, as Kenny's eyes widened, and Stacy repeated, "I'm not here. I'm not here."
"Why didn't you tell us you had a sister?" Kyle asked.
"She's MY sister too!" Cartman said. "Why didn't you tell ME?"
"BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HER!" Stacy yelled.
"I love you too," Cindy said sarcastically. She turned to the others. "I've just been living with our mom, so we don't see each other often."
"But still ... how did this not come up before?" Kyle asked. "We've known Stacy since kindergarten."
"I told you: don't like her."
"I'm relieved that I'm not the one everyone's yelling at." Damien said.
"Hey, I have a great idea!" Butters said. "Since we're all going camping next week, you should come, too, so we can get to know you!"
"BUTTERS!" Stacy hissed.
"I don't know if that's a good idea..." Cindy said.
"Sure it is!" Lauren said, seeing Stacy's discomfort. "And you come, too, Damien. Actually... I think I have a friend you should meet..." Lauren looked back at Hanna. "Hey, Hanna! Come over here! I want you to meet someone!"
"She's asleep..." Stacy said. "I know! Set her on fire! That'll wake her up!"
"NO STACY!" Lauren said. Hanna woke up because of the yelling, and Lauren said, "Stacy wanted me to set you on fire."
Hanna quietly looked from Lauren to Stacy, then glanced at Damien and Cindy. Who're they?"
"This is Damien," said Lauren, grinning slightly. "And this is Stacy's TWIN, Cindy."
"...Right." Hanna put her head back down and went to sleep.
"Oh well. You'll meet her later." Lauren assured Damien.
********
Friday night, everyone met at Stacy's mom's house. "So is everyone here?" Sue asked.
"Let's see..." Stacy looked around. "Lauren, Damien, Cartman, Kenny, Ivy, Stan, Kyle, Ike, Butters, Hanna, CINDY..." Stacy growled. "Yeah, that's everyone.
"How is everyone going to fit into your car?" Kyle asked. "It only has room for seven people, and that's including the driver."
Lauren took out a piece of paper. "Hmm... If four people sit in the back seat, and three people sit on the floor, and two people are in the front seat, it'll work."
"I'll sit on Kenny's lap!" Stacy said.
"No you won't." Sue said.
"Okay, how about Ivy and Ike sit next to each other in the front seat?" Lauren asked. "They're both small. I'll sit in the center seat with Eric."
"Damn it!" Stacy said. "So Stan, Kyle, Cindy, and Butters can be in the back."
"No no, let Hannah and Damien be in the back."
"What?" Stacy looked blank. "Oh... OH! Oh I get it! Yeah, Cindy and Butters can be on the floor with me and Kenny!"
"Not in the back of the van, though?" Sue asked.
"Don't worry, we'll supervise them." Lauren said.
Everyone crowded into the van. Kenny took off his hood ((because Sue inconspicuously turned up the car's heater)) and they began the drive to Evergreen Park.
"So would you mind explaining all this to me?" Hanna asked.
"Well, apparently Stacy has a twin she's never told us about. That's Cindy. And Damien is the son of the devil, but he decided to come up and come to school with us again."
"Again?"
Lauren coughed. "Well, see... Damien used to come to school here, back when we were in third grade. But he, uh, had to go back."
"I see..."
"Do you like him?"
"OH REAL INCONSPICUOUS STACY!" Lauren said. "Here's a tip- never try to set people up again!"
"Is that what all. This is about?" Hanna asked. "Trying to set me up with Damien?"
"No, that's just a portion of it..."
"Ah, I see."
"Ha... this is aquward." Just then, they heard a siren. "Oh perfect timing! The cops!"
As they pulled over, Officer Barbrady walked up to the van.
"Okay, everyone, I just noticed your lights are out and it's getting kinda dark outside."
"Oh, well I'll just flip them on." Sue said. Barbrady looked at the kids in the back for a moment.
".... Hey, you two look alike!"
Before Stacy could say anything, Lauren glared at her. "Stacy, don't yell at the cop!"
"WHY NOT?"
"Fire. You. Put it together."
Stacy hid behind Stan's legs.
"Well, just move along, people." Barbrady said, leaving.
Kyle sighed. "Was that even necessary? It's NOON!"
"Well, he's not the brightest cop..." Stan said. "Stacy, get off my leg."
********
A few minutes later, everyone had set up their tents, and Sue had left.
"So tell me again why your mom left?" Lauren asked.
"Because she didn't want to camp, and so she'll be back in a few days to pick us up."
"But she knows what a whore you are!" Cartman said. "Why did she leave you and Kenny alone?"
"Well because all of you are around and HEY! Did you just call me a whore?"
"You see," said Lauren, looking at Cindy and Damien, "Stacy's dating Kenny, and Kenny's a pervert."
"Ooh."They chimed.
"Well what about you and your evil boyfriend?"
"Eric's not evil! He's just... uh, well, maybe he is. But he's not a perv!"
"So I'm just getting a reputation because of Kenny?" Stacy asked.
"Yes! And what kind of girl would date a guy like that?"
"Well, Hanna, obviously!"
"FOR A WEEK! WHILE YOU WERE BROKEN UP!" Lauren turned to Damien. "But that was a long time ago and they're not dating anymore."
"It wasn't THAT lo-"
"Where are we going to sleep?" Stan asked.
"Well the girls get one tent, the guys get the other." Lauren said.
"Screw that!" Stacy said. "Why can't we mix it up?"
"You're not sleeping with Kenny in the woods!" Lauren said. "You expect us to all just go off in the woods for a few hours?"
"Would you?" Kenny asked.
"A few minutes is more like it..." Stacy said.
"HEY!"
"And what about you two!" Stacy said, ignoring Kenny. "You and Cartman could do something!"
"We've only been dating for a few weeks." Lauren said. "Nothing would happen."
"Sure it wouldn't..."
"ANYWAY, I'm cold. Let's get some firewood."
"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" Stacy said. "You can't talk about me sleeping with Kenny anymore!"
"Why? Don't you?" Cartman asked.
"Moving along swiftly, about that firewood..." Stacy said.
"Yeah, let's go. This is getting weird." Stan said.
"Did anyone bring matches?" Ike asked.
"We don't need matches! We have two pyros right here!" Stacy said.
"I'm The Pyro now. Great." Lauren said.
"Go on! Do it! You haven't showed us yet!"
"Oh why?"
"If you don't think you're up to it, we can get Damien to-"
"No, no! No, I'll do it."
Everyone got some wood for the fire, and looked expectantly at Lauren.
"You've seen me do this before." Damien said.
"Yeah, but that's different." Stacy said. "Go on."
Lauren's eyes flared, and the wood caught fire.
"Oooh." Everyone said.
"Wait, Damien, since I can do this, does that mean I'm 'evil'?"
"Yes."
"DAMN IT! I knew there had to be something bad about this power!"
"Look at it this way," said Stacy, "at least you'll be in Hell with Cartman when you die!"
"HEY! I'm not going to hell!" Cartman yelled. "Hell is for Jews!"
"Hey, I'M Jewish!" Ivy said angrily.
"...You are?" everyone asked.
"Yes!"
"So is Kyle!" Stacy said.
"Really? And Cartman just says things like that in front of him?"
Lauren smiled. "You haven't been around Eric much, have you?"
********
Everyone was sitting around the fire telling ghost stories. After Stan finished, Stacy was clinging to Kenny's arm.
"I thought you didn't get scared easily." Kyle said.
"What? I don't. Do you mind? I don't interrupt when you're hugging YOU'RE girlfriend. Wait, you don't have a girlfriend..."
"Well, actually I do."
"Who? Not Wendy..."
"No.
"Oh good."
"It's Bebe."
"WHAT? That's almost as bad!" Lauren said. "She's Wendy's sidekick!"
"Oh come on! She's nice!"
"Great! Now she's in The Family!" Lauren said.
"The what?"
"All of us, we're like a family. Technically, the only ones really in The Family are Cindy and Eric and Stacy, but the rest of us are really close."
That's right!" Stacy said. "And when Lauren marries Cartman, she'll be in The Family!"
"I'm not marrying him..." Lauren said.
"You will. You know it."
********The Next Day********
Everyone was sitting around the fire, trying to keep warm.
"You know, I like the name Brooke for a girl." Stacy said.
"What?"
"If I had a baby girl, I'd name her Brooke Lynn. Or Summer Marie. And if I had a boy, I'd name him, Kyle."
"You're naming your kid after me?"
"Uh, sure. You just keep thinking that."
"He'd probably be the father anyway." Cartman said.
"Oh be nice Eric." Lauren said.
"What about you, Lauren?"
"Hmm... I never really thought about kid names."
"WHAT? All normal girls do! Well, I guess you're not a normal girl..."
"I don't see myself having kids anyway. I'm not the 'mom' type."
"But you'd never get presents on mother's day!"
"...Well, technically his mom," Lauren nodded towards Cartman, "shouldn't get mother's day presents. Which reminds me, Eric, have you ever found out who your real mom is?"
"No. I decided not to look."
"Well the search is on!" Lauren declared. "When we get back to civilization, we're going to find out who your mom is."
===========CHAPTER FIVE- Lauren and Cartman's Fight===========
((Lauren's note- I wrote and edited this chapter, but I'm going to be taking a leave of absence to write a Digimon fanfic, so Sarah will completely take over this story. Ja ne!))
Everyone was standing at the bus stop, when Lauren ran up them.
"You guys! You guys! I've got it!"
"Got what?" Kyle asked.
"Okay, you know how I'm always the only one to notice when Kenny dies?"
"...Kenny doesn't die..." Stacy said.
"Well, for some reason YOU all don't see it. But now I've found a way to prove it to you!" Lauren held up a camcorder, and smiled apologetically. "Sorry about this Kenny..."
Suddenly, Kenny burst into flames, and everyone gasped.
"OH MY GOD! LAUREN KILLED KENNY!" Stan said.
"YOU BASTARD!"
"No, no. Trust me, he'll be back."
********
The next day, everyone was ONCE AGAIN standing at the bus stop. Lauren ran up to them, and yelled, "OH MY GOD IT WORKED!"
"What worked?" Kyle asked.
"KENNY'S BACK!"
"...When did he leave?" Stan asked.
"Just come to my house!"
"Well, it was a parent teacher conference day anyway." Stacy said. "Oh, wait, I wasnt' supposed to tell you that..."
"You were just going to let us walk into a damn PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE?" Cartman asked.
"Uh, let's just go to Lauren's." Stacy said, changing the subject oh so well.
*******
"Okay, okay, this tape proves that I AM NOT CRAZY!"
"Is that possible?" Stacy asked, as Ivy laughed.
"Oh shut up."
As everyone watched the tape, they gasped.
"Oh...my god... Kenny really DID die!" Stacy said. "And YOU killed him! Ass!"
"How long has this been happening?" Stan asked.
"SINCE WE WERE BORN!"
Stacy wrapped her arms around Kenny. "Well we've got to protect him! He can't just go on dying..."
********
The next day in driver's ed, Lauren looked at Hannah and asked, "What's wrong?"
"How can you tell when she's deressed?" Stacy asked, but Hannah said, "My favorite uncle died this morning."
"Oh that's too bad," said Lauren. "How'd he die?"
"Well he'd been sick for a while. I guess the doctors just couldn't keep him alive anymore..."
"I have something to cheer you up!" Cartman said. "It's an awsome tape of Kenny getting set on fire!"
"ERIC! I'm sure she doesn't want to watch THAT right now!" Lauren leaned over to Hannah and said, "But when you're feeling better, you should take a look at it. It's pretty damn sweet."
"LAUREN! Don't either of you have any sympathy for her?" Stacy asked.
"Sorry..."
********
After school, everyone decided to go to Stan's house. When they came in, Stan's parents immediatly came up to the kids.
"Uh, Stan, we have some bad news." Randy said. "Your uncle Jimbo was shot today."
"WHAT?"
"Well Stanley, his gun went off while he was cleaning it, and he was shot," Sharon explained. "He's at the hospital right now, but he's not doing very well."
"Oh man... I've gotta go see him!"
As Stan and the others left, Lauren said, "Doesn't anyone find this wierd?"
"What do you mean?" Cartman asked.
"Well, Hannah- your uncle died. And now Jimbo's in the hospital, and might die. But Kenny's fine..."
"...What's your point?" Stacy asked. "What, are you SAD that he's still here?"
"You don't get it... listen, I'll be right back. I've got to check something."
Lauren dissappeared in flames, and everyone gasped.
********
"Oh, hey Lauren." Satan said.
"Hey. Listen, I need to ask something."
"Well, I don't have much time. Hitler and I are going jet skiing at five."
"It's a quick question. I just wanted to ask if the deaths in South Park are connected to Kenny not dying."
"...You figured that out?"
"So I'm RIGHT! But I don't get it. What's Kenny got to do with anything?"
"It's all because of science," said Satan. "Science is keeping people alive who were supposed to die. Because of that, another person needs to die in their place."
"But why Kenny? Why not something unimportant like a giraffe or a bird or Barbra Streisand?"
"Hmm, I never thought of that. I guess I'll change it so that an animal dies instead of your friend."
"Thanks! I guess I'll let you get back to ruling the underworld now. See ya."
********
Later on, Lauren went over to Stacy and Cartman's house. Everyone was in the living room, except Stan and Kyle.
"So how's Jimbo?"
"LAUREN!"
Cartman and Stacy both ran over and hugged Lauren, as she said, "what? What did I miss?"
"We thought you were dead!" Ivy said.
"Why?"
"Well when someone goes up in flames I kinda figure they're dead!" Cartman said.
"I just went to talk to Satan. I settled things, so now Kenny will stop dying and Jimbo's gonna be okay!"
"...you went to Hell?" Damien asked.
"Yeah."
"So THAT'S what the fire was for!" Stacy said.
"But I thought that, besides myself and my father, only demons could go between Hell and Earth ... wait ..."
Lauren cringed. "Thanks Damien..."
"You mean you're a DEMON?" Cartman asked. "When were you planning on telling me this?"
"... Never."
"When did this happen?" Hannah asked.
"Well, back on career day, when I was supposed to be following Satan, I kinda talked him into giving me all the same powers as Damien."
Stacy blinked. "Huh. Who would've thought that CARTMAN was the good one in the relationship?"
"HEY!"
"Well, I guess we should go tell Stan the good news," Ivy said.
"... You guys go ahead," Cartman said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
"You sure, Eric?"
"Yeah."
*********
When the others were gone, Cartman turned on his television and flipped through the channels until he came across "Jesus and Pals."
((Lauren's note- this next part is what's happening on the screen))
"Welcome back to Jesus and Pals," Jesus said. "Now who is our next caller?"
Cartman was patched through, and said, "Uh, Jesus? I have a problem..."
"Yes caller? Go ahead."
"Well, it's about my girlfriend."
"Caller, today's topic is money."
"I know that, but this is really important! See ... my girlfriend kinda sold her soul to become an unholy demon ..."
"...WHAT?"
"Yeah, see, I don't know what to do now..."
"Caller, what's the girl's name?"
"Lauren Black."
"I see. Well, that's all the time we have for today on Jesus and Pals!"
Suddenly, the screen went to the little test screen.
********
Everyone, except Cartman, was now at the hospital.
"So why'd you say Cartman stayed home?" Stan asked.
"I don't know. He just said he needed to do something," Lauren said. "I just think he was a little shocked about the demon thing."
"Can you blame him?" Kyle asked.
"No..."
Suddenly, the doors to the waiting room the kids were in burst open, and Jesus entered.
"Which one of you is Lauren?" He asked angrily. Everyone pointed to Lauren, who smiled nervously.
"Hey Jesus... anything wrong?"
"I was just informed that you made a deal with Satan!"
"...Did Eric tell you that? Oh he is so dead..."
"How could you give up your chance of being saved?"
"WHAT CHANCE? Do you know how hard it is to get into Heaven? Well, you do, but..."
Mr. Garrison walked into the waiting room. "Oh, hello Jesus. Kids, how's Jimbo doing?"
"He's fine," said Stan. "He's asleep now, but he's pretty much recovered."
"Well that's good. Uh, am I interrupting something?"
"No, no! Perfect timing!" Lauren said, and walked over to Mr. Garrison. "Let's go see if Jimbo's awake yet!"
********
Later, Stacy and Lauren went back to Stacy's house. Lauren immediatly found Cartman and hit him on the arm.
"AY! What the hell was that for?"
"Guess who was stalking me today? JESUS!"
"Oh...really?"
"AND YOU'RE THE CAUSE, AREN'T YOU?"
"Well what was I supposed to do?"
"NOT CALL MY SAVIOR TO COME LECTURE ME!"
"You know what? You brought it all on yourself!"
"Me? YOU'RE the one who called Jesus!"
"Well maybe I just don't want to be around someone as evil as YOU!"
"Are you breaking up with me!?"
"MAYBE I AM!"
"MAYBE I WANT YOU TO!"
Lauren and Cartman stared angrily at each other, and then Lauren left and Cartman went up to his room.
********
"So they really haven't been talking since Friday?" Kyle asked Monday at school.
"No," Stacy said. "Cartman won't come out of his room, either. I haven't talked to Lauren..."
They all went into the driver's ed room, to see sitting alone at her normal seat. After they all sat down, Cartman entered, and sat on the other side of the room from Lauren. For a second, they glared at each other, then they both looked away. Everyone else looked between the two.
"This could be really, really dangerous," said Damien, leaning close to everyony else so only they could hear.
"Yeah, they're both pretty violent." Stan said.
Mr. Cleen came in, and started the lesson.
"Okay, let's say you don't know the speed limit. What speed should you go at? Hmm... Lauren?"
"30," She said dully.
"That's correct-"
"I may be EVIL, but at least I'm not STUPID," she said, looking at Cartman.
"YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!" Cartman yelled."
"WELL YOU'RE A BASTARD!"
"YOU'RE A MOTHER-FUCKING ASS-SUCKER!"
"YOU'RE A CUNT -LICKING ASS-WHOLE!"
"LAUREN AND ERIC!" Mr. Cleen yelled. "DO YOU NEED TO SEE YOUR DEAN?"
"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH HIM!" Lauren yelled.
"LIKE I WANT TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH YOU!" Cartman yelled back. Both of them were standing now, and a vase sitting on Mr. Cleen's desk shattered.
"She's gonna kill us all!" Stacy yelled, and everyone ducked under their desks as a bulb in the light above blew up.
"BOTH OF YOU, GO TO THE OFFICE!" Mr. Cleen said.
"FINE!" They both shouted, and stormed out.
"Oh Sweet Jesus, I thought I was gonna die!" Butters said. "They're really mad!"
"Thank you Captain Obvious," Stacy said.
********
"Now what the hell's going on?" Mr. Garrison asked. "I thought you two were dating. And now you're cussing each other out in the middle of class?"
"Date him? I can't STAND him!" Lauren said.
"Oh you know that's a damn lie," said Garrison. "You two've been friends your whole lives."
"Not anymore," Cartman said.
"Look, I don't care if you're fighting, just shut up and stop interrupting class. Or else I'll make you do detention with ME."
"Fine." Both Lauren and Cartman said.
********
After school, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Hannah, Damien, and Ivy went over to Stacy's house.
"This is really wierd," said Stan. "Lauren and Cartman have always been friends."
"Really? I thought they'd only been dating for a few months," Ivy said.
"Yeah, but they've been really close since before grade school," Stacy said. "In fact, I remember one time when we were in sixth grade..."
*********FLASHBACK!**********
Everyone in the sixth grade was supposed to be preparing decorations for the end-of-year dance, the last dance sixth graders went to before they graduated.
"So Stacy, who are you going to the big end-of-year dance with?" Lauren asked.
"I don't know. I've got the list of people I'd go with narrowed down to Kenny, Butters, Kyle, or Craig."
"God, how long was your list before?" Cartman asked.
"It included pretty much everyone but you." Lauren said.
"What a whore."
"HEY!" Stacy yelled. "Who asked your opinion?"
Lauren smiled, and said to Cartman, "She hasn't accecpted any offers because she really just wants to go with you."
"WHAT? EEW!" Stacy yelled. "I would NEVER go out with Cartman!"
"Well I'd never go out with you!" Cartman said.
"Anyway, are you going Lauren?" Stack asked.
"Phh, no."
"Of course she's not going," said Cartman. "She's gay."
"I'm not gay!"
Before they could argue more, Kenny came over.
((Lauren's note, since what Kenny says is important, I'll put it in parenthases. But Stacy still can't understand him unless he has his hood off.))
"(Hey, Lauren, can I talk to you about something?)" He asked.
"Uh, sure." Lauren followed Kenny to the other side of the room.
"(Is Stacy going to the dance with anyone?)"
"No." Lauren smiled. "Why, you want to ask her?" Kenny nodded. "Okay, she really likes guys with cute hair. So-" Lauren pulled off Kenny's hood, and ran her right hand through his hair to mess it up a bit. "There. She'll love that."
"(Thanks.)" As Kenny walked away, as Cartman walked over.
"What did he want?"
"He wanted help with getting Stacy to like him." Lauren said. "You know, I think we're the only ones not going to the dance."
"That's because dances are boring and lame," said Cartman.
"...Hey, I have an idea. Since this dance is pretty much our last chance to make trouble at the school, let's go out with a bang!"
"You mean ruin the dance?" Cartman smiled. "That's perfect! How are we gonna do it?"
"I don't know yet, but we can think of something!"
"This is gonna be awsome."
~~~~~~~~
At the dance, everyone had on formalwear, and the decorations had all been placed.
"It was sweet of you to invite me to the dance, Kenny," Stacy said, as everyone danced. "And the gym looks so pretty..."
"Well Butters worked really hard on it." Kenny said.
"What?"
"We- I mean, Cartman and the other guys, stuck him with most of the work with the decorations."
"... I'll have to tell him later how pretty it is."
Just then, the overhead sprinklers went off, and everything was soaked. To avoid the water, everyone ran out into the hall, where Mr. Garrison was holding Lauren and Cartman by their arms.
"OH YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME," he said. "YOU RUINED THE BIGGEST DANCE IN GRADE SCHOOL!"
"Ruined... or MADE BETTER?" Lauren asked, and Cartman laughed.
"I should have known you two were behind this!" Wendy said. "I hope you're happy with yourselves."
"Now that we know YOU'RE miserable, we're fantastic." Cartman said.
"Come on, I've got to call your parents now," Mr. Garrison said, leading them away. Lauren and Cartman smiled at each other before they followed Garrison to the principal's.
*********BACK TO THE CURRENT TIMES********
"...Wait, that was a terrible story!" Ivy said. "And it had a sad ending, too. Why did you tell THAT?"
"Because it shows how they've always been together," said Stacy. "Sure, when they're together, it makes everyone around them go crazy, but they're together, and, as much as I think Lauren could do better than HIM, I guess they work..."
"And I suppose you're going to try to get them back together?" Hannah asked.
"Hell no! If Lauren doesn't get back together with him, then that's perfect!"
"...Kay."
********
The next day, Lauren went to Garrison's office.
"What happened to Cartman? Aren't you two usually here together?"
"No, this time only I got in trouble." Lauren explained, "he was pissing me off again, so I hit him."
"Then I guess I'll give you a detention."
As he wrote up the deetntion slip, Cartman walked in. He and Lauren glared at each other before he said, "I'm in here because I broke one of Lauren's stupid dance CD's."
"You asshole! Which one?" Lauren asked.
"Club Nation America, Vol. 2."
"Oh that's LOW."
"Alright, now I've had just about enough of this," Garrison said. "You caused enough trouble when you were together, and now that you've broken up you're even worse! If you don't like each other, just don't talk to each other."
"That's fine with me." Lauren said.
"Me too." Cartman said.
********
The next day in Business, Lauren and Cartman were following Garrison's advice. Except now they were just glaring at each other, occassionally making rude gestures at each other or throwing things. As Mr. Lee wrote notes on check books, or whatever the hell you're supposed to learn in Business, Mr. Garrison walked in.
"Mr. Lee I'm going to be observing this class again. There's a few students I think I should keep my eye on..."
"God, I wonder who he's talking about?" Lauren asked.
"You just focus on your notes." Garrison said.
For a moment, the class was quiet. Then a wad of paper hit Lauren, who turned and glared at Cartman. He was stairing at the board, so she went back to taking notes. After the second paper ball hit her, she hissed, "QUIT IT."
"Is there a problem Lauren?" Garrison asked.
"Not with me," she said, going back to her notes. When a third paper ball hit her, she jumped up and hit Cartman's desk with so much fire it instantly turned to ash. Butters, Wendy, and Cartman all screamed.
"DON'T FUCK WITH ME ERIC!" Lauren yelled.
"OH MY GOD!" Garrison walked over. "Lauren, did YOU do that??"
"Oops... You wern't supposed to know about that..."
"SEE? THAT'S why broke up with her!" Cartman said.
"Well you were all for me using that power on someone else." Lauren said.
"This has got to stop!" Stacy said. "You two are driving everyone crazy, and disturbing all our classes, and you're gonna blow up the whole town! Just make up!"
"DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED? She tried to KILL ME!"
"I wasn't trying to kill you, I was trying to scare you. Which I could've done just as easily with a spider."
"Oh just stop it!" Stacy said. "Now what's it going to take to get you two back together?"
"A miracle." Cartman remarked. "Not that demon girl would know much about those..."
"What if you two just apologized?" Kyle asked. "Just say you're sorry for everything."
"YEAH RIGHT!" Both Lauren and Cartman said.
Stacy thought for a moment. "What if... I bought you both a copy of Digimon Rumble Arena 2?"
Lauren and Cartman both gasped. "OOH! That has the best Digimon from the three good seasons!" Lauren said.
"And you can have up to four players!" Cartman said.
"And it has more levels," Lauren said, now talking to Cartman. "Rookie, Armor, Champion-"
"Ultimate, and Mega!" Cartman finished.
"Oh, and did I tell you I finally got a MetalMamemon in Digimon World?"
The bell rang, and the pair left the room, still talking about the game. Everyone left in the room was silent.
"THAT'S IT?" Stan asked. "All that fighting, and they stop just because of a game?"
"They are so messed up." Hannah said.
"You're all helping me pay for those games." Stacy said.
********
The next day, Lauren and Cartman went into Garrison's office.
"Well what is it now?" He asked. "I thought you two stopped fighting."
"We did." Lauren explained, "this time we got a PDA."
"Then I'm gonna have to give you a fifteen minute detention for this."
As he wrote up the slip, Lauren and Cartman smiled at each other, Cartman kissed Lauren on the cheek, and Garrison said, "Oh you just pushed it to 30 minutes!"
Lauren looked at Cartman. "Wanna try for an hour-long detention?"
He laughed as Garrison sighed. "You two are hopeless."

===========CHAPTER SIX- Kenny's Problem===========
Written by- Sarah"What's that poster?" Stacy asked as she and Lauren walked into the school. A big purple poster that said, "vote for Wendy Testaburger for Sophomore class president," was hanging in the main lobby.
"Class president?" Lauren asked, "Who would have nominated her?" She looked at Stacy, who was staring at the poster. "Stacy, do you know anything about this?"
"Well, I remember her being very annoying one day..." Stacy thought for a moment, then said, "oh yeah, it was the day we had that project and had to go around with the adults to learn about their jobs. Wendy was badgering me as usual that day." Stacy shook her head sadly. "I signed it to shut her up. I didn't want anything like that to happen."
Lauren looked at the poster. "I should run," she said, thinking out loud. "It will be really easy if I'm only running against her."
"Yeah!" Stacy said, standing up on a bench and looking around at all the students in the hall, "Did everyone hear that?" She asked and they looked at her. "Lauren Black is running for Sophomore class president so we all don't have to put up with Wendy all year!"
"Excuse me!" Wendy walked up to them with Bebe by her side. "What makes you think you can just walk in here one day and decide, 'Oh I think I'll run for president!' I'll have you know I've been class president every year since 7th grade! What can you do to make this school different?"
"Yeah, what's your platform?" Bebe asked.
"Yeah, what's your platform?" Stacy asked, looking down at Lauren from the bench she was on.
Lauren thought for a moment. "You won't have to put up with this bitch!"
****************************************************
"I guess we can still put you in to be class president," Mr. Garrison said, as Lauren and Stacy got ready to do the morning announcements. "Since only Wendy is running, I won't make you have to get signatures from 50 students."
"Oh really?" Stacy asked. "Because I already did that!" She handed Mr. Garrison the paper, smiling.
"How on earth did you do that in only five minutes?" Lauren asked.
"Like you, I have connections," she said. "Although mine aren't to the mob ... people at this school like me. Who would have known?"
Garrison looked at the sheet. "Wait, this is just a photocopy of Wendy's sheet!" Mr. Hat added, "her name is just crossed out and Lauren's name written in."
Stacy looked at Mr. Hat. "Mr. Hat ... Shhhh"
Lauren rolled her eyes. "So I'm in still?" She asked Garrison.
"Yeah, sure," Garrison said. "Who's your running mate?"
Stacy grinned at Lauren who sighed, "Stacy I guess..."
"I'll put you down." Garrison said, walking into his office as Stacy turned on the microphone for announcements.
"Hello everybody," she said. "This is Stacy Miller and the new candidate for sophomore class president, Lauren Black with your announcements. Today for lunch is chili dog with green beans and a banana. Doesn't that sound ... tasty?" She looked at Lauren for an answer.
"Not really, Stacy-" Lauren said.
"Hehe that ryhmed!"
"But the special today does sound very good," Lauren said, ignoring Stacy. "It is nachos supreme! The best kind of nachos we serve."
"Oh yeah, it kicks regular nacho's ass," Stacy said. "In other news, the math club meeting has been rescheduled for next Thursday, and Mr. Peters is sorry for the inconvenience. But if you math kids really want to flex those math muscles, come over to my house so we can learn how to do my Algebra 2 homework. Ohhh fun."
"Stacy," Lauren said, "that didn't work last time it won't work this time. And remember everyone to go and see the speech team in all their glory tonight at Middle Park High in their first competition. They are very good this year. Let's hope they do as well as last years speech team did."
"I'm sure they won't!" Stacy said. "Also, tonight is the boys basketball game, so three guesses where most of the school will be ... at home. That's right no one cares about our crappy team! Which brings me to my next topic of my Stacy trivia question, which was 'What is my favorite color?' And contrary to popular belief, 'Tramp' is not a color, no ... but congratulations to the only person who did not write that down, Kenny, who will be able to collect his prize tonight after school."
Lauren thought a moment. "The only other person who answered was Eric."
"Uh ... yeah ... I'm going to agree with you..." Stacy said. "It makes my reputation sound a lot better..." She cleared her throat. "Anyway ..."
"That's all the announcements for today. So have a great day!"
"And remember, it's always a great time to use a Trojan!"
"Be a Trojan..."
"Whatever."
Lauren clicked off the loudspeaker. "Why does our team name have to be Trojan? ANYTHING would have been better!"
*******************************************************
"So your running for Class president?" Cartman asked, "How come she's your running mate," he asked, looking at Stacy, who was in the dining room at their house making a poster for Lauren.
"She was there," Lauren said, "But she seems to want me to win really badly, and is putting a lot into it. She already handed out buttons and things like that. I think I have a really good chance of winning."
"She just wants you to win to screw Wendy over." Cartman said. "If she realized she could run she would drop you and run in a second."
"So would you." Kyle said.
"Stanly!" Stacy yelled. "I need a hand with this hun!"
"Why on earth is she calling me Stanly?" Stan asked Lauren.
"She thinks it's a cute name." Lauren said.
"It's better then Ky Ky." Kyle said, shaking his head.
"Stanly Marsh! Can you hear me? Here! NOW!" Stacy shouted.
"I feel bad for Kenny," Stan said walking into the dinning room. "He has to put up with that all the time."
"Something tells me he doesn't have a problem with getting bossed around." Lauren said laughing.
"Why didn't you just ask me to be your running mate?" Cartman asked.
"You weren't around." Lauren said shrugging. "What, was I supposed to just esp you or something?"
"I still think I would make a good politician." Cartman said Kyle and Stan and Stacy from the dining room all started laughing. "Oh laugh now. I'll be president some day, we'll see then we'll see who laughs then."
"Us, still," Stan said from the dining room.
Lauren looked around the room like she just realized something. "Hey Stacy where's your boyfriend? Is he even here?"
"No, he was sick today," Stacy said, as she and Stan walked back into the living room with the poster. "Poor baby, I miss him. Anyway, how do you like your poster?" she asked holding up a big green poster with a picture of Lauren on it, with the slogan "You wouldn't vote for a female dog so why still vote for a bitch? Vote Lauren Black!"
"Are you sure you can put that up at school?" Kyle asked.
"Why wouldn't we be able too?" Lauren asked.
*************************************************************
"So did you vote yet?" Stacy asked, sitting down at a lunch table with some random sophomore boys.
"Not yet." A boy said.
"Well," Stacy said, "don't you think you should? Your vote could mean we have to put up with Wendy as class president for one more year. We're counting on your vote! So are you going to vote now?"
"We will after we're done eating." Another boy said. Stacy stared at them.
"No," she said, "You will now! Go and fucking vote or I will rip your balls off and feed them to you!" All of the boys stared at her. "I'm not kidding!" They all stood up and went to vote. "You forgot your trays," she said, smiling and waving at them. She got back up and walked to her table. "Hey Ky Ky."
"Hey Stacy," Kyle said. "Do you know where Kenny is? I mean he hasn't been here all week."
"I hope he's ok," Stacy said, "I mean I hope his parent's didn't do anything to him..."
"What?" Butters asked looking up at Stacy.
"Oh it's just a feeling I have but I think they abuse him." She said.
"Oh sweet Jesus! Really?" Butters asked and Stacy nodded.
"Stacy," Kyle said, "His parents might be bad parents, but they don't abuse him."
"They might as well," Stacy said, "I mean does 'neglect' mean anything to you?"
"He's not neglected." Kyle said.
"Why do you think he only wares an orange parka?" Stacy asked.
"Because his parent's can't afford anything else." Kyle said.
"Exactly!" Stacy said, "You all might think it's funny that Kenny can't afford clothes or games or food, but I don't. And I think it's mean that you make fun of him because his misfortune."
"We just mess around," Kyle said. "We don't really mean any of it."
"And poor Kenny is over there starving to death and we aren't doing anything about it!" Stacy said, standing up. "It stops here!"
"Stacy sit down," Kyle said.
"No, Kyle, I will not sit down while me boyfriend starves to death!" She picked up her bag and Kyle looked at her, rolling his eyes.
"Your not leaving are you?" He asked.
"Yes I am leaving! He hasn't even tried to contact me. Kyle," she looked down at him, "I'm really worried." Kyle sighed and stood up. "Are you coming with me?" Stacy asked, surprised.
"Yeah," Kyle said, "I'm not letting you go into that part of the town alone." Stacy hugged Kyle. "Butters will you cover for us?"
"Well sure Stacy," Butters said smiling, "Have fun!"
********************************************************************
"It seems alright." Kyle said, looking at Kenny's house as they reached it.
"Come on," Stacy said and they knocked on his door. A few minutes after, there was no answer. Stacy knocked again, louder this time. "Why isn't anyone answering?" She asked, and opened the door. She and Kyle both gasped, seeing black smoke.
"Oh shit," Kyle said, "we have to call the fire department! Stacy, no come back!"
Stacy ran into Kenny's house going to his room. "Kenny!" She called, "come on!" She shook him awake.
"What...Stacy what's going on?" Kenny asked looking up at her.
"Your house is on fire!" Stacy said, pulling Kenny by the arm. "We have to get out of here." She opened the window and climbed out, "Come on Kenny!"
"I have to get my parents!" Kenny called. Stacy gasped and tried to climb back into the window but Kyle stopped her.
"What, are you stupid?" Kyle yelled at her. "The fire department is coming." They both heard the sirens, and Stacy looked back into Kenny's house, then at Kyle. "Don't think about it. I'm not suppose to let anyone in there. It's getting really bad." The fire men reached the house and forced Stacy and Kyle back.
"What if Kenny's not ok?" Stacy asked, "What if he got burnt? What if something falls on him and his back gets broken? What if he dies in the hospital before he can tell me what the meaning of that poem by Robert Frost means the Gold one you know...what then?"
"Stacy," Kyle said looking at her, "I think your thinking of the outsiders..."
"That would make me Ponyboy and you Dally." Stacy said smiling. "Your going to die too! Oh Kyle!" She hugged him.
"Kenny's going to be fine and I'm going to be fine too!" Kyle said pushing her away from him.
A fireman walked past them and Stacy ran over to him, "Hey! Is Kenny ok? Will his parent's be ok?" the man looked at her and pointed to the door. Stacy looked over her shoulder and to Kenny getting rolled out on a stretcher. "KENNY!" Stacy called and ran over to him, "Sweety are you ok?" she asked.
Kenny coughed and smiled at Stacy, "I'm fine," he said.
"Please step back, ma'am." A fire man said, and pushed her back. Stacy walked back to Kyle and looked at him and smiled.
"He's fine," she said and Kyle smiled back at her.
"Children, your in a lot of trouble." Both teens turned around and looked at Chef, who was standing with Garrison and Mackey.
"What do you two think you were doing sneeking out of school!" Garrison asked.
"Skipping is bad, mmkay." Mackey said.
"That's a weeks suspension, at least." Garrison said.
"I agree Mr. Garrison; the little fuck heads deserve to be suspended." Mr. Hat said.
"I think we should take into consideration that they did save peoples lives," Chef said.
"Yes," Mackey said. "A weeks suspension sounds good. I will be calling your parent's m'kay."
Stacy and Kyle both looked at each other, frowning.
*************************************************************
Kenny walked out of his hospital room, and into the waiting room all of his friends were in. "Hey guys," he said, smiling.
"Kenny!" Stacy said and ran over to him and hugged him, "Oh honey are you ok? Your not hurt are you? Why haven't you been going to school?"
"I had a fever," Kenny said, shrugging, as he sat down in a seat.
"We were so worried when we heard what happened." Lauren said.
"Yeah," Stan said, "We knew something was up when Stacy and Kyle weren't in business class. So we asked Mackey about it..."
"So you're why we are suspended?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah...sorry," Stan said.
"Your going to get in so much trouble," Cartman said, smiling. "Your dad is going to kill you."
Stacy smiled and sat down next to him and sighed. "You know what," Stacy said, "I don't care, because if I hadn't over reacted to something small ... then Kenny would be ... well ... you know." she looked at him and he smiled at her nodding. "So I don't care if I get in trouble!"
"Uh Kenny," The doctor said, looking at him, "Can I speak to you in my office for a moment?" Kenny nodded and followed him into his office.
"How did their house catch on fire, anyway?" Stan asked, and they all looked at Lauren.
"What? It wasn't me! I was in school!"
"Hey, so when will we know who won the election?" Stacy asked smiling.
"Well, with my wonderful charm and your wonderful..." Lauren trailed off, thinking. "Powers of persuasion ... I won!"
"Powers of persuasion?" Cartman asked. "What, did Stacy sleep with the undecided's?"
"Bite me, fat ass," Stacy said.
"How about you suck my balls shorty," Cartman said, "Wait, no, I don't know where your mouth's been."
"Fuck you ass!" Stacy shouted.
"I don't take it up the ass like some people here!" Cartman shouted back, and Stacy tackled him. Both of them were still yelling at each other as they fought.
"Guys," Ivy said quietly, looking around embarrassed. "We're in a hospital; save it for your house."
Kenny walked back out of the doctor's office and sat down staring into space. Stacy let go of Cartman and sat down by him looking at him concerned.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" she asked.
"The...the doctor said my parent's died..." Kenny said and started crying.
((Sarah's Note: hehehe a cliff hanger! Awww poor Kenny!))

===========CHAPTER SEVEN- KENNY'S PROBLEM, PART TWO===========
Kenny was laying on the couch at the Cartman's house as Stacy and Cartman looked at him. "I know I didn't like my parent's," Kenny said. "But I didn't want them to die." He closed his eyes trying to keep from crying. "I have no place to go now!"
"You can stay here for a while," Stacy said. "I'm sure our parent's won't care."
"Yeah," Cartman said nodding. "You can share my room. It'll be great."
Stacy nodded. "It will be really great," she said. "You'll be fine..."
"That's not even it!" Kenny said, sitting up. "I cant stay here..." He stood up. "I'm sorry." He put his hood on and walked out of the house, leaving Stacy and Cartman sitting and staring at each other.
Stacy stood up and started to go after him, but Cartman grabbed her. "Don't."
"What, am I supposed to let him wander around town in the middle of the night?" Stacy asked.
"Yes," Cartman said, "We cant keep him here! You can't keep trying to save him! You saved his life once today, I think that's enough. Man you're nosy, did you know that?"
Stacy glared at him and walked up the stairs to her room.
*****************************************************
Kenny walked around South Park for awhile, thinking. He paused slightly and walked up to a house and knocked on the door. Lauren opened the door slightly. "Oh, hi Kenny. What's up?"
"Can I talk to you?"
Lauren looked back inside her house, then said, "well, okay, but come up to my room..."
"Okay..."
He followed Lauren upstairs, and she shut the door behind them.
"Uh...what's going on?"
"Oh it's all because of Terry. He's having a... 'business meeting' today."
"What do you mean? What's your dad do anyway?"
Lauren sighed. "He's like this huge mob boss, so I'm staying up here until the other guys from the mob are gone." Kenny stared at her, shocked, and she said, "don't worry, their all my uncles. I just don't like them. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"
"I don't know what to do anymore. Now that my parents are gone, I don't really have anywhere to go. Stacy asked me to stay at her house, but their a family, you know? They have each other, and their happy. I'd be in the way..."
"Happy?" Lauren asked looking at him oddly.
"Well in their own way. They all really do like each other, even if Cartman or Stacy won't admit it." Kenny sighed, "I just can't be there...I can't stand it."
"Where are you staying now?"
"With them. But I can't stay there forever."
"That's really rough. I don't know what I'd do if I was in your I KNOW YOU'RE THERE JOHNNY!"
A boy walked in the room. He had black hair, was about 5'7, and had on dark sunglasses and a suit.
"What? I can't be protective of you?"
"You're a damn stalker, that's what you are." Lauren looked back at Kenny. "This is Kenny, he's a friend of mine. Kenny, this is Johnny White, he's my cousin and bodyguard."
"...His name's White and your name's Black?"
"It's not my REAL name," Lauren explained. "It's really Valentine, but we never use that because, you know, the mob thing... So we use color names instead. When they were picking, Terry picked Black because everyone wants to be Mr. Black, because it's cooler-sounding. Johnny's family is next after mine, so his family got the second-coolest name."
"I see," said Kenny.
"Anyway, why are you here?" Lauren asked Johnny.
"I was wondering why he was here. I've heard of you, Kenny McCormick."
"His parents just died, be nice." Lauren looked at Kenny. "So are you going to a foster home?"
"I don't know, my parents didn't really have lawyers, so I'm not sure who to talk to."
At the same time, Lauren and Johnny both rolled their eyes and said, "phh, the legal system..."
"OH, I just had an idea! You don't want to 'get in the way' of 'happy' families, right?"
"Yeah."
"So my family could adopt you!"
"WHAT? Lauren, if you hadn't noticed, I don't really mix well with people who have guns and knives!"
"Oh come on, the closer you are to danger, the farther you are from harm!"
"Someone likes Lord of the Rings a bit too much..."
Johnny said. ((Sarah's note: I didn't write that if you were wondering since that would be a wierd me to say...you know me and Lord of the Rings ^^.))
Lauren ignored her cousin and continued.
"But really, I'd love to have you as my little brother. So?"
Kenny sighed. "I guess..."
"Everyone's gone. You could talk to him now," Johnny said.
"Kay."
Lauren grabbed Kenny's hand and led him downstairs. Sprawled the couch, there was another boy with sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. In the chair was a man with really dark brown hair and green eyes.
"Don't you have a home?" Johnny asked the boy.
"Not with HDTV," he replied, smirking.
Lauren walked over to the man. "Daaaaad? Can I ask a really big favor?"
Noticing that she was using her I Want Something voice, he asked, "what is it?"
"You know how Kenny's parents died? Well now he doesn't have a home, so can we adopt him?"
The boy on the couch sat up. "You wanna WHAT?"
"He needs a home!" Lauren turned back to her dad. "Come on, he's been my friend since before kindergarten."
"I wouldn't tell anyone about the mob... thing." Kenny said.
"Well... If he was my son, it would mean he couldn't date you." Terry looked at Kenny. "I have eyes all over the city you know." He sighed. "Okay, I'll adopt you."
"Great!" Lauren said. "Kenny, you can go tell Stacy you won't need to stay at her house anymore."
"Alright. But first, who's he?" Kenny pointed to the blonde boy.
"Allow me to introduce myself." The boy hadn't looked very tall, but when he stood he was 6'11. "I am Vincent Pink. My friends call me Vinny."
"Obviously not from a powerful family, with the last name Pink, " Johnny added.
"Just because I'm not third in line to be the head of the mob, or even twentieth, that doesn't mean I'm not important."
"So do either of you want to come with me and Kenny to go to Stacy's house?"
"Mmmm... that would involve moving," said Vinny. "I already over exerted myself by standing... so no."
Lauren smiled at him as she and Kenny left.
*****************************
Stacy was sitting in a chair watching Kenny gather up his things handing him things now and then but not anything to straining. Kenny looked up at her and gave her a look and sighed.
"What?" Kenny asked.
Stacy looked away from Kenny and shrugged. "Nothing," she said simply.
"Don't lie. What's wrong?" Kenny asked after a few minutes of silence from Stacy, Kenny rolled his eyes and went back to packing. Stacy looked back at Kenny glaring at him slightly when she made a mad noise Kenny looked back up at her. "What?!"
"Nothing!" Stacy said.
"Don't lie!" Kenny said. "Tell me what it wrong! It's because I'm moving in with Lauren isn't it? I told you, I can't live with you."
"I know Kenny," Stacy said, looking away from him again her legs crossed and her arms crossed over her chest.
"Then what's wrong?" Kenny asked. "Please tell me what is wrong! Why are you mad?"
"Why not Stan?" Stacy asked. Kenny stared at her, not understanding, "Why couldn't you move in with Stan? Or Kyle? Or ... Butters! Why Lauren?! Why not Token? His house is big enough...Why Lauren?"
"Oh," Kenny said, "I get it. You think that something is going on between us, don't you?"
"I don't know," Stacy said. "Should I?"
"No," Kenny said. "I don't like Lauren like that. And besides, her dad is adopting me. That would be...strange...to say the least." Stacy stared at Kenny, "Do you really not trust me that much?"
Stacy sighed and rolled her eyes, "Of course I trust you..."
"No you don't," Kenny smiled. "And I don't trust you." Stacy smiled at him, "But come on give Lauren a little credit."
"Ok ..." She said and sighed slightly. "You know Kenny, your welcome to spend any night you want over here." She smiled and giggled slightly.
"I know," he said grinning and standing up with his bag.
**********************************
"Do you have everything?" Richard asked Cartman, who nodded. "Where's your sister?"
"She's still packing," Cartman said.
"Didn't I tell her not to keep it until last minute?" Richard asked. "Stacy come on! Everyone is going to be here soon!" The door bell rang. "Stacy come on!"
Cartman went over to the door and opened it, letting Lauren and Kenny in. "So you guys are going to meet Stan, Kyle and his little brother at the air port right?"
"Yes," Cartman said.
"Jeez, Dad, the airport isn't that big!" Stacy said, coming down caring three bags and kicking a fourth down the stairs. "We'll probably see them when we first walk in."
"What the hell are you bringing?" Lauren asked.
"Clothes," Stacy said, "And things to do on the plain.And things to do when I'm bored. And things to, uh, never mind. Oh and make up! And hair things." She smiled, glancing over at her dad who wasn't even listening to her.
"Oh my poopsie is going to be away for Christmas," Liane said to Cartman, and Stacy laughed.
"Oh it's ok Liane," Stacy said, "Little poopsie will still be with family! Aww...little poopsie!" Lauren tried her hardest not to laugh, and Cartman glared at both girls."Well everyone get into the van," Richard said, everyone started walking outside.
"Kenny, sweet heart," Stacy called. "Will you carry one of my bags for me?" she asked.
"Mmph," Kenny said picking one of them up. They all drove to the airport, said goodbye to Cartman and Stacy's parents, and walked to the gate their airplane was departing from."See already I can see Stanley, Ky-Ky, and Ike." Stacy said as they walked up to them.
"Big enough carry on Stacy?" Kyle asked.
"Hey it fit! It's fine," Stacy said.
"Well come on they already called our row." Stan said and they all walked onto the plane that only about 7 other people were on.
"You know this means we may not have to stay in our seats." Lauren said, "so we don't have to be cramped up." They all sat down putting their carry on's in the over head compartments.
"Guys," Cartman said, "This is going to be sweet!" Stacy smiled as the plane took off and layed her head down going to sleep.
((Sarah's note: Yeah I know it sort of cuts off but it leads into a dream chapter then the Christmas with Terrence and Phillip so it's ok))
((Lauren's note- Did anyone pick up on the Reservoir Dogs joke? Anybody?))

===========DREAM CHAPTER ONE- YU-GI-OH!===========
((Lauren's note- Read the SECRETS page to see what the deal with editing is))
Stacy woke up and looked around. "Guys were here," she said, hitting Kenny on the arm. Everyone woke up and looked around.
"It's fuckin' weird that they didn't wake us up," Ike said as they walked off the plane and looked around.
"Somehow I don't think this is Canada..." Stan said.
"This is Japan!" Lauren said, looking at the writing around the airport.
"None of us speak Japanese," Kyle said.
"I know some random words, but not enough to get us anywhere..." Lauren said.
"I know some Japanese!" Stacy said, "Baka!"
"What does that mean?" Stan asked.
"Bastard," Stacy said, smiling.
"Well THAT'S going to help us," Stan said sarcastically.
"We probably got on the wrong plane!" Cartman said. "Damn it, Stacy! Why didn't you look at the fuckin' ticket you stupid whore?"
"Fuck you, fat ass," Stacy said.
"It's fine," Lauren said. "Japanese people learn English in school."
"I'm not fat, bitch!" Cartman said, and pushed Stacy into someone.
"Sorry," Stacy said.
"Watch where your going," a tall guy with brown hair and blue eyes said, glaring at Stacy.
"Hey I said sorry!" Stacy said, glaring at him. "Maybe your the one who should watch were your going ass hole!"
"Stacy," Kyle hissed, "he's like 10 times your size! Stop!"
"No!" Stacy said, "I'm not going to stop 'till this jack ass apologizes for running into me!"
"Who the hell do you think your talking to?" The guy asked.
"I think I'm talking to the stupid bastard that just ran into me!" Stacy said, then paused because a little boy, about 11, came up to them.
"Seto! The car is ready," he said. The guy glared at Stacy one last time then, walked off."You'd better run!" Stacy said.
"What the hell was that?" Stan asked.
"I don't know..." Stacy said, shrugging.
Lauren smiled. "I wanted to see you fight. That would have been funny."
"Did you see that little boy?" Stacy asked. "He was adorable!"
"Come on," Kyle said. "We'd better see when the next flight to Canada is." They all walked to the help desk. "Excuse me. When is the next flight to Canada?"
The lady looked on her computer. "That would be tomorrow at 12 midnight," she said.
"Really? That's the soonest?" Kyle asked, and the lady nodded. "Alright. Thanks." They all walked off.
"So what the hell do we do until midnight tomorrow?" Ike asked.
"Hey look," Lauren said, pointing to a billboard. It said, Welcome to Domino City, the host of Battle City. "Battle City, what's that?"
"I don't know," Cartman said. "Lets go check it out." They all walked out of the airport. After a while, they all found themselves in front a group of people. "Hey, what's going on?"
"People are dueling," a boy said.
"Dueling?" Stacy asked.
"With Dungeon Duel Monster cards," he said, as if they should all know. Stacy looked at Lauren.
"What?" Lauren asked. "I haven't heard of it! Why do you assume that just because something sounds nerdy I'd know about it?"
Stacy looked around. "I'm hungry. Kenny, let's go get something to eat."
"I'm not hungry," Kenny said ((Sarah's note: He took his hood off because it was hot on the plane.))
"I'll go with you." Ike said.
"Awesome," Stacy said.
"Wait," Stan said, "We should meat each other back here in like an hour or so."
"Alright," Stacy said as she and Ike walked away. "So Ikeie, what's going on with you?"
"Not much," Ike said, "what about you?"
"Same," Stacy said, "Let's go in here." She and Ike walked into a restaurant and sat down ordering their food.
((Lauren's Note- Am I the only one who thinks that sounded like an IM for a second there?))
"Look," Ike said, "it's that guy." He smiled as Stacy glared and ducked down in the booth.
"What the hell?" Stacy said, "is he stalking me?"
"I think he's just getting something to eat." Ike said as he sat down at the booth next to them.
"I hope he doesn't notice me," Stacy said but heard the guy curse under his breath. "I think he noticed me..." "Yeah," Ike said looking at the guy who was staring at them.
"Hi...there," Stacy said looking over at him, "Sorry...about...earlier. I was...in a bad mood. You see-"
"You should be sorry," the guy said.
"Hey," Stacy said, "I apologized! Maybe you should apologize too."
"I didn't do anything."
"Oh bull shit," Stacy said, "But I guess I'm just the bigger man."
"I wouldn't doubt it," he said Stacy glared at the guy who glared back.
"Thanks," Ike said as the waitress set down their food. "Stacy...our foods here."
"Your lucky," Stacy said, "I could of gone all day like this...all day..." she started to eat her food. "What's your name anyway?"
"What's it to you?"
"I'm just curious... Seto..."
"It's Mr. Kaiba to you."
"That's a weird name."
"What's yours?"
"Stacy Miller."
"That's such a non-original name."
"Bite me,"
"Just eat Stacy," Ike said rolling his eyes. Stacy sighed and started to eat again ignoring Kaiba. When her and Ike were both done they put their money down and stood up.
"I hope I never see you again," Stacy said waving bye to Kaiba who glared at her. Her and Ike walked out of the restaurant and walked around for a bit talking. Ike looked over his shoulder.
"Why are those guys in robes fallowing us?" He asked Stacy looked at them and shrugged.
"Why don't you just ask the more important question, Ike," Stacy said, "Why are there guys in robes?" Ike smiled as Stacy turned around, "Hey! Why are you fallowing us?" Ike looked at Stacy.
"I don't think that's a good idea." he said as the guys walked closer to them.
"What? Cant you talk?" Stacy asked then let out a little scream as her and Ike got pulled into the bushes. "AAAHHH Rape!" Stacy shouted.
"Damn it shut up!" Kyle said glaring at her.
"Oh hi Ky Ky," Stacy said smiling, "I didn't see it was you."
"Obviously," Stan said.
"Who are those guys?" Ike asked, "And were are Lauren Cartman and Kenny?"
"We don't know," Kyle said. "One minute they were there then the next..."
"You think those freaks in robes took them?" Stacy asked.
"What the fuck did we do?" Ike asked and the others shrugged.
"Well Cartman probably pissed them off and then sent them after us." Stacy said, "Ass hole." she looked out of the bushes and gasped, "Hey look at that guy!" she said pointing to a guy with white hair and brown eyes, "He's hot!" she looked at the other boys then sighed, "Oh yeah...your guys..." She stood up.
"Where are you going?" Stan asked.
"To talk to that guy." Stacy said and walked over to the hot guy, "Hi."
The guy looked at her, "Hey," he said and Stacy smiled.
"I'm Stacy Miller. What's your name?" she asked.
"Ryou Bakura." he said, "But everyone calls me Bakura.
"Why?"
"Because I would prefer them too," Bakura said shrugging. "So do you duel?"
"Do I what?"
"Duel," Bakura said, "You know-" he motioned to a group of people, "Duel... that's why so many people are here. This is the Battle City Tournament run by Kaiba corp." Bakura smiled slightly as Stacy stared at him blankly, "Don't worry I don't duel either."
"Then what's that thing on your arm?"
"A duel disk."
"But you don't duel?"
"No," Bakura said, "But...I guess sometimes..." he paused thinking, "I do..."
"That's strange." Stacy said, "Your a strange guy Bakura."
Bakura looked at her oddly and nodded, "You have no idea."
"Anyway," Stacy said, "Do you see those guys in robes?" she pointed to a few guys standing in random places.
"Yeah,"
"Well do you know anything about them?"
"There rare hunters." Bakura said, "They are bad news. They work for Marik Ishtar."
"Who?"
"Marik Ishtar," Bakura said more quietly, "He's this guy from Egypt-"
"Hey wait..." Stacy said, "You don't really care if my friends here this too... because you see...those rare hunters are fallowing us around...and we think they kidnapped 3 of our friends. So you don't mind..."
((Lauren's Note- This is the second point I talked about in the commentary))
"Well if they are chasing you it may not be a good idea to be in a big group out in the open." Bakura said. "Maybe you should meat me some place more privet." He paused and smiled shyly, "You and your friends that is."
Stacy smiled at Bakura and nodded, "Alright," she said, "where should we meat each other?"
"Well down that alley there is an abandoned ware house." Bakura said, "meat me there in about 10 minutes."
"Ok," Stacy said, "I'll see you then." she grinned and walked back over to the bushes where every one was watching her. "Guy's Bakura is going to tell us about Marik!" she whispered excitedly.
"Who's that?" Kyle asked.
"I don't know the dude the rare hunters are working for." Stacy said.
"Rare what?"
"Hunters...the freaks in robes." Stacy said, "Come on! Bakura said he would meat us in the abandoned warehouse in 10 minutes."
"Are you sure thats smart?" Stan asked, "We dont even know this guy. He could be like some insane psyco killer."
"No way Stanly," Stacy said, "He was totaly sweet."
"If your sure," Stan said and they all stood up and quickly went to the alley Bakura pointed out to Stacy. "Wow...this doesn't look like a place an insane pscyo killer would hang out." He said sarcasticly.
"Must I really tell you that this is a bad idea?" Kyle asked.
"Guys," Stacy said, "Bakura is so sweet! You've no idea!" She stopped in front of a door and knocked on it.
"I bet you he's a crazy." Ike said as the door opened. Bakura stood there smirking he looked some how different then he did a few minutes ago. Stacy looked at him oddly.
"Bakura?"
"Not really," he said closing the door behind them and locking it.
"We're not going to run away," Kyle said. "If your as sweet as Stacy said you are."
"Oh she was talking about my hikari," Bakura said, "I'm Yami Bakura...his dark side."
"I win he's crazy!" Ike said.
"I'm not crazy," Bakura said, "Ok so well I am...but I am a spirit from the millenium ring...I am The great thief king Bakura from Ancient Egypt." They all stared at him blankly.
"Wow..." Ike said, "He's more crazy then I thought he was 5 seconds ago..."
"Yeah," Stan said.
"Guys," Stacy said, "I swear this isn't him! I mean Bakura was cuter! He's just hot." they stared at her, "what?"
"Anyways," Bakura said, "I have decided that Marik must want you guys for some reason important sence it isn't for some rare card sence you guys dont duel..." He paused, "I wonder what he wants..."
"Maybe he's just lonely," Stacy said, "And want's friends to hang out with..."
"Maybe your just stupid," Bakura said and Stacy glared at him, "Perhaps one of you have something that you dont know you have."
"Like a hidden talent that he needs," Stacy said and giggled slightly.
"Your talent isn't so hidden Stacy," Stan said and Stacy elbowed him.
"How dare you think of me like that!" she said, "Your dating my sister. Well then it would make more sence...sence we look alike...but I'm prettier and alot better at..." she giggled again.
"Shut up!" Bakura said glaring at her, "Well your coming with me to go see him."
"What if we dont?" Kyle asked.
"You will live to regret it," Bakura said, "I know worse things to do to you then killing you."
"Like living in the same house as Cartman," Stacy asked seriously. "I think thats worse then death."
"I mean like the shadow realm." Bakura said glaring at her.
"Ooooooo the Shadow realm!" Stacy said smiling, "Oooo it's all dark and shadowy! Run for your lives!"
"God don't you ever shut up?" He asked grabbing her by her throught. "I will not hesatate to kill you little girl so shut up!"
"We'll go with you!" Kyle said, "Just leave Stacy alone...she doesn't mean to be stupid and annoying. She just is!" Bakura let her go and Stacy rubbed her neck and smiled at Kyle.
"Aw thanks Ky Ky," She said and Kyle nodded. They all fallowed Bakura out of the warehouse and down the alley alittle ways untill they came to a dock. They walked up to a boat.
"Is this where Marik is?" Ike asked.
"Yes," Bakura said, "Now listen to me. We are going to go in there and get your friends. Then when we are back in a safe place then you will give me whatever he wants." They all stared at him.
"We dont know what he wants," Stan said and Bakura glared at him.
"Just fallow me." he growled, "If you make one noice I will not hestate to kill you."
"Your just a grouch." Stacy muttered, "I think some one needs to get laid." she said in a sing song voice and Bakura back handed her. "Hey! He hit me!"
"Stacy shhh," Kyle said pulling her back to him and covering her mouth. "Just shut up unless you want us to get caught by this Marik guy or killed by Bakura." He whispered and Stacy rolled her eyes. "Just shut up." They all fallowed Bakura onto the boat and down a dimly lit hallway. They turned into a hall that was lit with torches Stan stopped walking and looked at the others.
"Before we fallow him," He said, "Let me get this straight were fallowing some psycotic evil guy that claims to be from Ancient Egypt down a scary looking hallway to try to find our friends that some other psycotic evil guy kidnapped because he thinks we have something we dont." They all nodded, "Ok...lets go." they all cought up to Bakura.
"He's in here." Bakura said pointing to a door that was shut.
"Are our friends in there?" Ike asked.
"I dont know," Bakura hissed in an annoyed voice. He quietly opened the door slightly and he and Stacy looked in and Stacy gasped. Bakura shut the door quickly and Stacy giggled.
"What was in there?" Stan asked.
"The bathroom." Stacy said and laughed as Kyle pulled her away fallowing Bakura agian. He opened anouther door and they all went in when he motioned for them too. "Oh my god Kenny are you ok?" Stacy asked as she went over to him and hugged him.
"I'm fine," Kenny said hugging her back.
"We're all fine thanks for asking," Lauren said rolling her eyes. "Who are you?"
"This is Bakura," Kyle said, "Stacy met him and then made us meet him in an abandond ware house and go figure he's evil. But he's helping us get you back as long as we give him what this Marik dude wants."
"Do you know what he wants?" Stan asked.
"No," Cartman said, "He just put us in here then yelled something about a Pharaoh then laughed and left."
"Well we had better get out of here before Marik comes back," Lauren said and Stan opened the door then shut it and turned around to look at everyone. "What?"
"This Marik guy...what does he look like?"
"Blonde hair...tan...this tall...hot," Lauren said.
"Yep..." Stan said, "That was him..." The door opened and Marik walked in looking around at everyone.
"Who the hell are you people?" He asked then looked at Bakura. "What the hell are you doing here? Whats going on?!"
"We're here to get our friends!" Kyle said.
"Oh..." Marik said. "Are you helping them?"
"What?" Bakura asked, "Oh yeah...we have a deal. They were going to give me what you wanted in exchange for me helping them save their friends." Marik rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Must I send you all to the shadow realm?" he asked. "I have no need for all of you! I was going to make you three my mind slaves...but this is way to many people." He sighed.
"What?" Ike asked. "So you didn't want anything from them?"
"Why would I need something from one of them?" Marik asked.
"No! Dont send us to the shadow realm!" Cartman said, "I dont do well in the dark. How about we make a deal with you."
"What?" Marik asked.
"You let us leave and you can keep Stacy," Cartman said.
"What?!" Stacy said, "Ass!"
"Why would I want her?" Marik asked.
"She's easy..." Cartman said and Stacy gasped and punched him. "Ouch...and she takes it in the ass."
"I do not!" Stacy said and crossed her arms over her chest pouting.
"I dont need to force anyone to have sex with me." Marik said.
"Thats true," Stacy said, "Your hot...but then again so is Bakura...and he needs to get laid." Bakura glared at her. "You know he hits girls...and he choked me! Ass."
"If you weren't the most annoying person on the planet then maybe we would get along alot better." Bakura said reaching for Stacy and choaking her again.
"STACY! HEY STUPID WHORE! WAKE UP! WERE HERE!" Stacy opened her eyes and looked around the plane and smiled.
"It was only a dream." She said and Cartman glared at her.
"What? No...just shut up." He turned away from her and started walking off the plane.
"What did you have a dream about?" Lauren asked.
"Oh my god...there were these two really really hot guys there." Stacy said and smiled, "Of course..they tried to kill me...but they were so hot!" Lauren rolled her eyes and they all walked off the plane.
"Look for a sign with my name on it." Kyle said. "Hey look," Stan said. "Kyle Broflovski."
"I'm Kyle Broflovski!" Stacy said and they all walked up to the Canadian with the sign.
"Hey Buddy," he said, "Welcome to Canada! Fallow me I'll take you to your hotel." They all fallowed him to a limo and got in.