The Challenge

      “Listen, Ken, I know I’ve never been the bright one, and I’m ok with that. You’ve made it ok, but this time it’s me that is right. It’s me that is seeing things clearly.” Daisuke was being his usual hard-headed self, only this time, he seemed to have anticipated all of my moves before hand. He had an excuse, a reason, always perfect, for every last point I made. I can not believe we are finally having this conversation. I had decided years ago that it would eventually come to this point, I had just refused to sit down and think of a way out of it. Too depressing, I guess. Not Daisuke, one of the very few people I had ever loved, the only person I love this way. And I know he loves me. He loves me or he would not be trying to kill me.

      It’s foolish really. Definitely ironic, that Daisuke, all brass and guts to the world is actually afraid of holding *me* back. Afraid that he’ll never be good enough to replace what ‘could have been.’ I do not know how many times I have told him that that is crazy. If it were not for Daisuke, I never would have made it as far as I have. It is only in having his support, his continuing presence, that I was able to keep the darkness at bay.

      “Koi,” I tell him, “I gave up years ago on what the rest of the would might be thinking. It doesn’t touch me.” Anything, I’d give anything to convince him that what he is talking about is crazy.

      “Do you really think I’ll be able to survive with out you?” I finally ask, the threat of dire consequences ringing in my voice.

      “Yes, I do, or I wouldn’t be doing this,” he replies softly, slowly. I give him a last hard look, but he has completely made up his mind. I nod my head slowly. Years ago I had told him, back when this inherent self-doubt first surfaced, never to make this decision unless he really meant it. Well, he has offered up the challenge.

      “Good-bye,” I accept.

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