Jan-ken PUNCH!

By Reid M. Haynes

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball/Dr. Slump are the properties of Akira Toriyama, TOEI ANIMATION, and various other companies, as well as all characters within. I am using them without permission, and I am making no money off of them.

Legend:
( ) Denotes thoughts.
{ } Denotes sound effects.

*****

Through the dense cover of cumulus, Kami above spied on the forested countryside. It was a lively countryside, stretching off in emerald snakes that etched their way overyonder horizon. The green wave swirled through the blue rivers and brown earth in an unpredictable journey, moving across the world as patternless tapestry, halting only for the mountains. And even then, they seemed to try their best to crawl up those hills, as if desperately wanting to cease their earthbound struggles and sour to the azure skies above.

It was a little after morning, and the sun was left free to shine on the overworld forests. Light played off the canopies, twinkling in spring dewdrops and coloring otherwise drab tree trunks. It rained into the living sea and penetrated through the foliage, the bolder ones trying for the lower branches and perhaps the grass blades farther down. But all of the light was here for one purpose: to wake the forest up from its late slumber and start the trend of life anew.

One of the rays was lucky enough to pour into a knothole, delivering its wake up call to the small resident who occupied it. A couple of sleepy eyes blinked through the unwelcome haze and then, very lethargically, a small owl bumbled out of the dwelling. It twitched awkwardly, trying to adjust to the new dawn. Almost as if it was contemplating whether it should even bother waking up.

And when a large figure shot down towards the branch he sat on, the owl made up its mind. Real fast.

"Ha!" Goku landed on the limb, bending it down with his slight weight. Then he shot off it through the forest, moving to another branch, then another, moving among the trees as if born doing it.

The owl stared at the retreating figure, cooped up safely in its cubbyhole. After a moment's thought, he determined it best to lie safe in slumber, fainting dead away at the weird figure.

Sailing through midair, Goku used his tail to grasp a passing branch, stopping his advance. But instead of halting altogether, he used his momentum to turn himself around and around the limb, gathering even more speed. He spun. He spun. And finally he {FWOOM!} let himself shoot off through the woods and eventually to the ground, where he smoothly made transition from flying to running, not missing a single beat.

"Hmm," Goku pondered, scanning the path he traveled. "If I keep on the path I'm runnin' now, I should get out of these woods around mid afternoon. But," He stole a glance at the lower branches. "If I take the branch route again, I can bust outta here at about lunchtime. And I am kinda hungry." His stomach growled to emphasize this point.

After a few more steps, Goku made up his mind. "Okay, the branch route it is!" he cheered, gathering himself up for another jump. "Here we go!" He leapt up into the air.



Tale 1: Here She Comes, Here Comes Arale-chan!, Part 1

*****

"Woo hoo!" Goku hooted, plopping down on the soft grass. "Food time!" With unhurried ease, he reached out to his knapsack and whipped out a six foot fish, crocodile eyeballs, goat's milk, some mushrooms, a steer, and various other commodities that looked like they should be hanging on a hunter's mantle, instead of a boy's stomach.

Grinning eagerly, Goku set each of the articles on the various pedestals around. The clearing had once been more forest, so there were plenty of old stumps to serve as tables. Good thing too: he had forgotten to take his picnic blanket.

Finally done setting up, he pulled up a small rock and sat down, adjusting his tail so it wouldn't get squashed. That done, he scooped up the napkin aside him and wrapped it around his neck to protect his uniform from the crumbs. Then, he took a look at his set up in front of him. And sighed.

All this good food. Waiting for him.

Goku smiled.

"Let's eat!" he called, and prepared to dive in.

*****

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

*****

{CHOMP!} {CHOMP!} {CHOMP!} Goku stuffed two squirrels in his mouth, seasoning it with a caterpillar. He then slurped a squid up, gulped down his goats milk, and added a few mushrooms for good measure. Finally, with the addition of a three pound beef flank, his mouth was finally full, preventing him from storing any more. But this mattering little, as he simply took the entire load down his throat at once, with only a little goat's milk for aid. Then he started up again.

"I'll take some of this, and some of this, and some of this..."

*****

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

*****

{CHOMP!} {CHOMP! }{CHOMP!} Goku's chopsticks moved in red blurs, plunking up the food and delivering it to him quicker than the beat of humming bird flaps. A grape, an apple, a slice of duck, everything that came in contact with the sticks vanished, so suddenly that it left question to whether the food didn't just disappear. It was the Zan-zo-ken of eating...

"Mmm, good stuff!"

*****

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

*****

With a large gulp, Goku swallowed his mouthful, leaning back and sighing in content. "Ah, that was good!" He put his arms behind his head, his eyes roaming over the remains of his lunch. All around him were gnarled remnants of today's feast, cluttering up the area around his feet. Large piles of bones and apple cores dwarfed his form, like a skeleton graveyard, only without the hint of terror. (Just as massive though, and intimidating in its own right.)

"Well, that should do for an appetizer," he affirmed, throwing aside a cherry pit. "Time for the main course!" {FWOP!} Goku suddenly whipped out a huge ox, outweighing him by one ton, from some wormhole, which he held by its foot like a drumstick.

"Heh heh!" Goku admired his prize, holding it before his eyes. "Bottoms up!" he said, and drove the meat to his lips.

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

"Huh?" Goku's head suddenly jerked up, as he became aware of a strange noise. He glanced about him, looking beyond the tree trunks for any peculiarities, but nothing seemed to jump out at him.

He craned his ears to pick out any odd sound, but the forest was silent. The noise he had heard did not repeat itself, and everything was as it had been.

After a last minute check, Goku shrugged. "Oh well..." he commented to himself, and brought the ox back to his mouth, restoring the hunger in his memory.

"KiiiiiiIIIIII...!" {BAM!}

"WAA!" Goku flew backwards ten feet against the impact, his face contorted in pain. His head hit hard against the ground, sending him to a stumbling roll before finally skidding to a rough halt, his face buried in the dirt.

Goku pushed himself up with his hands, straining with the effort. Man, that was a hard hit! Once on his knees, he brushed some debris from his hair, blinking out the dirt in his eyes. After, he climbed to his feet, brushing off his body and gi. And taking a careful look forward, to find out what big hulk he ran into.

He was a bit disappointed in that respect.

In front of him crouched a small, purple haired girl, with a pert nose, an honest mouth, and large, blue eyes that were now searching the ground for something. Her pudgy hands slid around, trying to find whatever she had dropped, kicking up dirt all over her overalls. She seemed very focused and, at the same time, somewhat panicked as well.

(This is what ran into me?) Goku scratched his head in confusion. (Nah, gotta be somethin' else...) It seemed implausible that such a small thing could have so much power. (Of course, his own experiences proved that size didn't matter, but still...)

"Ooch!" Goku turned his glance at the girl's cry, finding she had caught a splinter of glass in her finger. She looked at her hand, startled, then squinted at the ground in shock. Among the grass were the remains of large, horn-rimmed glasses, with bent frames, gnarled hooks, and lens strewn all over.

"They're...they're broke!" she said, disbelieving. "They're all ruined!" She shook her head at the abominable display, not knowing what to say.

Goku stared at her with a pensive expression on his face. (Gee, she looks kinda upset.) he thought to himself. (Maybe I should help her...)

"Uh..." Goku started, raising his finger slightly. "D'ya need some help?"

The girl turned around

She looked at him.

With an angry scowl.

"You...!" she hissed out, staring him down with an icy glare. "You must be the monster that broke my stuff! You make me mad!"

"Huh? But I'm no monster!" he protested, with wide eyes. "I'm Son Goku!"

"Don't lie, monster!" the girl snapped, pointing out with a wavering finger. "I can tell by th' horns comin' from your head! 'Sides," She made an angry grimace. "You're too ugly to be a 'Son Goku!'"

"Horns?" Goku raised his eyebrows, subconsciously rubbing the spikes of his hair.

But the girl was no longer listening, as she was now forming some sort of bizarre fighting stance, glaring at him intensely. "Now..." She bent her knees and raised her arms. "...I'm gonna get ya!"

And {TWOOM!} she bolted forward, running a 70kph course straight for Goku. Her head was lowered like a battering ram, preparing for a crash course head-butt, and her arms were poised to her sides to whack peripherally. "Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

"Whoa!" Goku yelped, and tumbled away from the incoming danger. Just in time, too, for {CRONK!} the girl's crown slammed directly into the tree behind him, sending a spray of splinters outwards.

For a split second, Goku was concerned that the impact had harmed her head. This, however, was quickly discounted by the sickening crack of wood as the entire tree divided in two, right down the middle.

Goku stared at the tree, a dumbfounded expression on his face. "Cheez..." But he had no further time for contemplation, for the girl was starting her attack again. He readied himself...

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

{SHOMP!} then he leapt straight over the girl's head, missing her assault by inches. He rolled through the sky, head over heels, carrying him over several meters from the now-destroyed tree he stood before. Landing smoothly on his feet, Goku regained his composure, turning back to his opponent. And crouched into a fighting stance.

What was this girl's problem? Goku simmered, giving her a cold glare. All he wanted was a nice snack, then he's assaulted by someone who ran into HIM. Unfair!

"Alright!" he snarled, clenching his fists. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"

The girl responded to this by setting up her charging stance, and rushing out again. But this time, Goku was ready, and met her dash with his own. His legs beat like pistons, moving him closer to his enemy. He bent his arm back, and clenched his fist, preparing a hard punch. His eyes squinted.

"HAIII!!!!" Then he let the attack go.

Only no one was there.

Goku stumbled forward with the momentum, nearly tripping over his own feet. In quick recovery, he ground his heels in the ground, slowing himself down. Once he regained balance, he looked around him for his opponent, only to see a sight that made him adopt his confused expression again.

During the previous rush, the girl had somehow managed to get herself off track. Cutting off the beeline for Goku, she had curved over to about four feet to the left...right into another tree.

"Uhhh..." The girl moaned hazily. Googly eyed, she stumbled backwards in a slight daze, wobbling left and right. She put her hands on her head and conked it a couple of times to regain her senses.

When she took a look at the broken tree, she did a double take. "Whoa..whoops!" she chuckled half-wittingly, slightly embarrassed. "Sorry about that!" She turned to Goku. "Don't worry, I'll get it right this time!" the girl assured him cheerfully.

"..." Goku cocked an eyebrow.

"YYYOOOOO!!!" The girl made another rush at the monkey boy, with the same manic fervor as before. She zoomed closer and closer and, finally, her head hit...

{KLONG!}

...right into another tree.

"W-w-whaa!" she gurgled, hurling around in a lucidity-lacking lulu. Spinning around crazily, the girl bumbled all over the clearing, incoherent of all around her. She danced on tree stumps, swirled on branches and finally "Whoop!" tripped on a branch, sending her face first towards the ground, right at Goku's feet.

Goku stared at the girl with clear eyes, and the girl stared back, with fuzzy eyes.

"Are you alright?" Goku asked, offering her his hand.

The girl examined the hand for a moment. Then, she grabbed onto it, and Goku lifted her to her feet.

"Thanks-cha," she said, letting go of his hand. "You're pretty nice for an evil monster."

"No biggie," Goku shrugged, accepting the backhanded compliment with his usual nonchalance. "So what was with all the crashing you were doing?" he then asked her. "Couldn'cha see me?"

"Not really," the girl admitted, then pointed out the broken glasses. "Y'see, I can't really see much of anything without my glasses." she explained to the boy. "It's sorta my weakness."

"Wow," Goku said, gaping at the shards. "I never thought those thingies could be so important. No wonder you were mad."

"Yup," she agreed. Then the girl stood up, and adopted a powerful air. "But I can still bust up the bad guys with the best of em'!" she cheered, throwing her fists in the air.

"?????" Goku 'said.'

"So how 'bout it?" the girl asked, looking back at Goku. "Can ya gimmie one more chance at a good hit? Please?"

"I d'know," Goku pondered skeptically. "You said ya can't see too well, and I don't like fighting with someone at a disadvantage."

"Aw, c'mon!" she whined, "Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with poo on top? C'mon, just one more chance! C'mon!"

"I still don't know..." Goku said, rubbing his chin with his hand.

The girl took a few steps back, and turned back to face him. "Look, I can prove I'm a good fight!" she insisted. "You ready! Here I come!"

And {ZOOOM!} she dashed off towards Goku.

"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...!"

And {ZOOOM!} she dashed off away from Goku...and out of the clearing.

Goku looked at the girl watching her go. Then he put his hands on his hips, and cocked his head slightly. "That was weird."

*****

The girl had run about one mile when she discovered, much to her surprise, that she had missed her target. Once she knew, she dug her heels into the ground, bringing up a large dust cloud billowing out in front. The dirt created a haze through which none could see, masking the figures within. And when it was over, the girl had completely stopped, looking left and right for the evil, glasses breaking monster dude.

"Now where did he go?" she said to herself, turning round and round for her opponent. "I thought he was right here!" She took a careful look at the forest, trying her best to seek out the figure. But without her glasses, she couldn't make out the bushes from the trees, much less anything else.

"He must've wandered off," she eventually decided, guessing that none of the green 'n' brown stuff was that guy. "I'd better look for him." Turning back around, the girl wandered unsteadily in the direction from which she came. The general direction, anyway.

On her path, the girl kept wobbling from side to side, alternating speeding up and down with her stumbles. Keeping her hands in front, she navigated the woods as best she could, trying to keep from running into anymore trees. She swerved around the dark blotches that blocked her way, and strafed the pointy looking things to her side.

But she couldn't escape the big, mean looking blotch that moved in front of her.

"Oop!" she squeaked, stepping a few steps back from the new obstacle. It was in the rough shape of a man, a rather brawny man, wearing a white muscle shirt and dark trousers. (she guessed) His eyes seemed kind of seedy, and his nose she couldn't make out.

And on his mouth was a sinister, craggy smile. This she could tell for certain.

"Well, well," it said, folding its arms. "What do we have here?"

"Uh...I d'n know," she answered honestly. But the blotch only snickered. Confused, the girl tried to step around, but the blotch simply slid back into her way, bumping her once again.

"Hey, what're you doin'?" she demanded, pointing out her finger.

"What do you think YOU'RE doing?" a second voice said, and another figure melted from the hazy woods. "I'll tell you what you're doing. You're trespassing!"

"Yeah," A third figure moved from behind him. "This is RR territory! So unless you've got one of these, you ain't one of us!"

The man presented his arm, showing off a red blur to the near-sighted girl. Her eyes widened at the sight. "Hoyo!" she cried in understanding. "That's cool! Give me one!"

"Huh?" The man said, stepping back in confusion.

"Yeah!" the girl cheered, pumping her arms. "I mean, if I have one of those red thingys, I can be in the club, right? So give me a red thingy!" She started jumping up and down. "Give me one! Give me one! C'mon, I wanna play, too!"

"Hmm...!" The first man narrowed his eyes, and started to put a hand behind his back. "So you want a red thing?" he asked her slightly, gripping an object behind his back.

"Uh huh!" she bubbled, shaking her fists eagerly.

"You really want it?" He slowly raised his arm up.

"Yup!" the girl affirmed.

The arm was now cocked in position, his hand holding a blunt object in its grasp. "Okay, here it comes." he said, and swung the weapon straight at her unwitting brain.

{SHLOCK!)

Suddenly, the weapon stopped three inches before it should have made contact. From the sound of the impact, it wasn't a skull, and from the feel of the impact, it wasn't very hurt.

The man looked back down at his weapon. And then he gasped.

"Ya shouldn't bully on people that can't see, y'know!" Goku said, raising his free hand.

Cue typical "Makafushigi Adventure" battle instrumentals here.

{DMMM!} Goku slammed his fist into the man's stomach, bowling him over like a shoreside salmon. Moving quickly, he yanked the implement from the fallen man to whip it around and {KONG!} toss it into one of the others.

"You little shrimp," the first guard said, bringing up a battle stance. Goku quickly followed suit, facing the man just before he threw the punch.

"Hyaa!" "Paper!" {FUMP!}

Once his punch was complete, the man looked at his hand, and was horrified. The fist had ran straight into Goku's outstretched palm, not doing anything whatsoever. His eyes widened, just in time to meet the next attack: "Scissors!"

{PLIK!} Goku's two fingers jabbed out in an typical 'Three Stooges' style eyepoke, sending the man back. "Agh!" he screamed, grabbing his eyes in agony, and leaving his middle open for the final blow.

"ROCK!"

{BAM!} The man went flying away and cracked his back against a tree. "Uhh..." he mumble, a slip of drool rolling down his mouth. Soon, he was unconscious.

"Well, that's that!" Goku said cheerfully, throwing out the 'peace' sign. He dusted off his hands with satisfaction. Only to have them seized by an avid fan.

"Hoyo!" the girl squealed, shaking his hands up and down. "That was so cool! Do it again! Do it again!" She hopped up and down, dragging up his hands with her.

"Heh heh!" Goku chuckled, letting her bounce with no complaint.

*****

"Wow, you're really strong!" the girl said, while waving her hands in front of her face for guidance.

"Yup!" Goku agreed lighthearted. "You ain't bad yourself, though!"

"Heh heh!" she chuckled, giving him an open smile.

The two were now walking back to the campsite. Goku, being raised in the wood, navigated through the trees with relative ease, whereas the girl, being raised with bad eyesight, could only crash into more things. The monkey boy had to constantly double back to fetch her, usually splattered again a tree. But it was no real trouble for him. After all, he was in no hurry, and they were both having a good time.

They had finally reached the campsite, where the girl had said she lost something. Goku scanned the campsite for whatever looked out of place. But he couldn't quite pick it up. There was his campfire, the ox he had dropped earlier, those applecores, and "There is it!" the girl suddenly cheered, running out to the mystery object, leaving him to follow her with his eyes.

Right next to the coconuts was a yellow baseball cap, a rather strange one at that. It was modified quite a bit from many of the type, featuring an enlarged logo printed on the front and, more eye-catching, little white wings shooting out at the sides. Quite a novelty, although Goku had probably seen stranger.

The girl bent down, and plucked up the cap by its blue bill. Sweeping it upwards, she moved it above and placed it gently on her head, pulling some purple hair out in the process. "There we go!" she said, straightening the hat slightly.

Goku's eyes shone with recognition. "Hey, I know you!" he cried out, pointing out. "You're the girl from that Penguin Village place! You're...Arale!"

"Hoyo?" Arale took her hands on her hat. "Hey, how'd you know my name?" she asked him, giving his a curious glance.

"We met a couple of months ago, when I was chasin' that Blue dude!" he explained. "Remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Arale's eyes widened, and her mouth turned up in a bright smile. "Then you must be that cloud boy with the funny watch! Wow, that sure is somethin'!"

"Yup!" Goku smiled. Then, he did something strange. He bent down, and thrust up his fists. "So you wanna finish our fight?" he asked, grinning enthusiastically.

"Hmm? Oh no no no no no!" she said, waving her her hands in front of her. "Since you're not a bad guy, I don't got no more reason to beat'cha up anymore! Plus, I got some place ta' go!"

"Huh," Goku said, scratching his head. "You're leaving already?"

"Yup," she said, turning away from and looking beyond the clearing. "But don't worry!" she assured, giving him a grin over-the-shoulder. "I'll come back later, and I'll give you a real good fight! Count on it!" She winked.

Goku looked at her for a moment longer, then gave her the thumbs-up. "Gotcha!" he said, grinning.

Arale nodded, then turned back to the distant horizon. "Ready..." She whispered, bending her knees once again. "...GO!" and then she dashed off. "Byeee-chaaa!" she called out behind her as she headed out to the worlds beyond...

{WHUMP!}

...and into a tree.

"Oops!" she burbled, after another round of tottering and swaying. "I guess I kinda forgot about that part!" She started chuckling hyperly, putting her hand behind her head in embarrassment.

Goku tuned out her babbling, opting instead for some quiet pondering. (I don't think that girl can get where she's going on her own.) he thought, rubbing his chin. (I'd give her a ride Kinto'un, but if I do that, I'll mess up the trainin' that the old timer set me up on. Hmm...)

"I got it!" Goku exclaimed. "I'll give you a lift myself!"

"Hoyo?" Arale gave him a strange look, getting up and taking a few steps towards him. "Whatcha mean?"

"Well, since ya can't see, I'll help ya get around, at least until you can get some new glass things!" Goku turned his back, thumbing towards it. "Look, just jump on, and we'll get goin'!"

"Goody!" Arale yelled, jumping straightforward. "Piggyback ride!"

{BAM}

And Goku was knocked down on his face, a bewildered girl on his back.

"Hey, why d'ya go 'boom'?" she asked him, staring down at him curiously.

"Whoa..." Goku mumbled, a weird smile on his face. "She sure is strong."

Then he fell unconscious.

*****

Thus Goku and Arale, tiny kids with titanic kicks, joined their two worlds once again. But what will befall them in their misadventures this time? Will Arale get new glasses? Can Goku keep her from destroying everything? And what about Red Ribbon? Find out next time...

*****

Arale: "N'cha! In the next chapter, me 'n' Goku-kun get ta know each other a wee bit better! And I gotta couple neat-o things to show 'im!"

Goku: "Yup! And I d'n't know about you, but I'm startin' to guess this ain't no ordinary girl! And what's with the 'poo-pokin' thing, anyway?"

Goku/Arale: (with arms around each other) "All this and more, in the next exciting chapter of 'Jan-ken PUNCH!'"

RisanF: "Until next time, ja ne! ^_^"





Back to Home