Jan-ken PUNCH!

By Reid M. Haynes

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball/Dr. Slump are the properties of Akira Toriyama, TOEI ANIMATION, and various other companies, as well as all characters within. I am using them without permission, and I am making no money off of them.

Legend:
( ) Denotes thoughts.
{ } Denotes sound effects.

*****

Arale-ism of the Day: "N'cha"

Definition: (from Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary)

Main Entry: N'cha
Pronunciation: 'N'chAH
Function: interjection
Etymology: Japanese, from "Konnichiwa."
Date:1980
1 : typical greeting delivered by Arale-chan. May also be modified into "bye-cha" to serve as an exit (Ex1: "N'cha!" Arale called out to the homeless, disillusioned beggar.) 2: a high powered blast emitted from the mouth, capable of halting any foe. (Ex1: "N'CHAAA!!!" Arale screamed as she fired a glowing bolt at the sinister hippopotamus.)

Publisher's Note: If you attempt to actually look up "N'cha" in a modern dictionary, you are an idiot. If you looked up both "N'cha" AND "Hoyo" in a modern dictionary, you are probably as big of a fanboy (fangirl?) as yours truly.

Tale 3: Let's Help Our Dolphin Friends! Part 1

*****

{FWAA!!!} The tartan blanket swelled like rolling sea waves, stretching out to its full size. It remained suspended above the ground for a moment longer, calmly hovering in midair. Soon, it began to slowly waver downwards, first the sides, next the middle. And finally, the article was spread completely on the ground, completely flat and smooth as silk.

Goku let go of the blanket's corners and laid it carefully on the grass. "Okay, now that that's settled," he started, untying a large knapsack and holding it above the picnic spot. "Let's get to it!"

And {SHWOMP!} all of the food instantly poured from the bag, and he immediately jumped onto it. {HOMP! SMACK! SLUMP} Goku clawed away at his pile, grabbing as much as he could and shoving it into his mouth. He swallowed a whole chicken, licked up an egg roll, sucked up a cantaloupe, chomped on a donkey...

He looked over to his side, his mouth hanging open with some loose coleslaw. Arale wasn't eating. She just sat there, knees tucked in, and watched him gorge himself. She did seem vaguely curious about Goku's actions, but nowhere on her face did she express any interest in taking part of any of it.

"Hey, ya know, you can have some too," Goku smacked, holding up a drumstick. "Doncha want any of it?"

"Nope," Arale said simply. "I don't eat."

(whaAA?!) Goku let his mouth full drool off his chin and back onto the blanket, forming a sloppy puddle of chewed meat. (She dosen't call me names, and she dosen't eat. Man, what kinda girl is she?)

When he questioned her about this oddity, she just grinned and reached behind her. "I don't need t' eat..." Arale fumbled through her back pocket. "...'cause I got this!" Out of the pocket she whipped out a small bottle, presenting it to Goku. From all appearances, it looked like an ordinary sports drink, and contained roughly one half liter of oddly colored liquid within.

"What's this for?" Goku asked, taking the bottle from her grasp and examining it curiously.

She grinned proudly. "'Robobitan A!'" she answered, putting her hands on her hips. "It's my 'genki drink!''"

"Huh," Goku shrugged, toying with the bottle in his hands. "So chuggin' this thing means you don't hatfa eat?"

"Yup!" she nodded. "One bottle keeps me supercharged for a good long while!"

Goku peered even closer at the drink dubbed "Robobitan A," trying to figure this stuff out. The bottle seemed like such a dinky, insignificant little thing. Could it really alleviate hunger all by itself? Arale thought so, and she was cruising along just fine. So he guessed so.

He tossed the drink behind him lazily. "That's no fun," he snorted, rolling his eyes disdainfully. "How lame."

"Hoyo?" Arale cocked an eyebrow at Goku. "What's wrong with 'Robobitan A?'"

"Nuthin's wrong; it's just boring," he responded, shrugged his shoulders. "Half the fun o' fillin' up is stuffin' it all in, so what's so great about somethin' that lasts so short?"

"Um...I don't freeze up?" she tried, pointing up a finger.

Goku shook his head. "Not good enough," he said sternly, then took her hand. "C'mon, let me show ya how t' get some REAL food," and then he pulled her to her feet and started to lead her away.

"But what about your..." Arale stopped mid-breath... "...lunch." as she looked at a completely foodless picnic blanket, with only a couple of bones and boxes scattered spaciously about it."

"Yeah," he said, noticing her astonishment. "Not much, is it." The boy walked over to Arale, and took her arm. "We'd better hurry, 'fore I get hungry again,"

Goku then walked them from the site at a normal pace.

*****

A lone bird soared across the overworld, cuting swathes through the misty clouds blocking the way. Wings spread, swooping down, this bird boldly cut lower to the surface until it almost touched the land below. It's speed increased sharply as it banked sharply on a turn, lowering its left feathers to the surface. Then (KSSS!!!) a large blade of water jerked from where the wing slashed, creating a mist that chilled the bird as it flew towards the noon time sun.

Below the departing creature, where the water droplets still glistened in the breeze, was a beautiful lagoon. Pure as crystal, it reflected every cumulus with matchless perfection, displacing not a bit of the blue sea of sky. Coasting the rims of the rink lie tall pines and small shrubs, giving a home to the creatures populating this area and supplying to food to them...and to any passerby wandering through.

"Almost there!" Goku chimed, licking the seeds from his mouth. Moving between two of the taller trees, he drug Arale with his left arm, and fingered a few berries with his right. As he headed towards the large boulder ahead, he maneuvered a berry under his thumb, smoothly cocking into air and (PIK!) deftly flicking the fruit into the air.

With a deft hop, he sprung onto the rock, taking the girl with him. "And here we are!" he said, and swiftly caught the falling berry on his tongue, just in time. (DOP!)

Arale gazed out to the misty view before her. "What're we doin' here?" she asked, glancing at the big blue splotch in front of her.

"Fishin'. Goku answered, letting go of her arm. He started to fiddle with his belt, unlooping it and letting it go saggy.

"Hoyo?" Arale scratched her head while watching. "Doncha need special poles 'n' junk?"

"Poles?" The boy glanced over at Nyoibo for a brief second, then shrugged. "Well, I guess you could use stuff like that," he responded nonchalantly, while pulling his vest over his huge locks. "But I don't see why."

With that, Goku kicked off his fallen pants and slipped off his shoes, leaving him in only his birthday suit, preferential swim wear. Oh, and get your minds out of the gutters; this isn't a hentai fic.

"Damn it," said the hentai, sulking away disappointed to something more sexually erotic.

Back at the actual story, Goku was stretching up and down to prep himself for submersion. His tail bobbed back, seamingly in anticipation for the wet waters' cold touch. He bent his knees a bit.

(SHWOOP!) then he launched in a nosedive towards the lagoon, hands together like a harpoon to cut into the waves. He bolted deep underwater and skimmed his way rapidly through, leaving little bubbles from his small breaths. Kicking his legs, he created a fluctuation that masked his movements until he reached the deeper areas. And soon, when he did sink to those depths, he disappeared completely, lost in a world of fantasy and fish.

Arale just stared after Goku's vanishing form, trying to make it out beneath the waves. She couldn't, of course, but it was worth trying, if simply for lack of anything better to do. She couldn't hear anything either; after her new friend had sunk below, all was quiet around the lagoon, motionless and cold. It was as if all time had stopped upon his entering the water, and she could only wait impatiently.

She peered through the waves, her eyes wide with curiosity. (Is he playing hide and seek?) the girl wondered, blinking twice.

One moment later, though, her question would be answered. More bubbles were rising to the surface, forming into a wreathy foam. The motionless mirror soon grew distorted as swells and eddies formed like a rumpled carpet, signs of tremendous strife in the sea reef. It grew more rabid as time passed...

Then, with a few last bubbles twirping to the surface, the lagoon grew calm once more, as if nothing had ever happened at all.

Arale blinked again.

And just as soon as she looked again, {KERSPLASH!} a huge form launched itself upwards, ascending from the water at a tremendous rate. It rose to an apex in the air, tumbling in an arc, then rolled down to the boulder where she stood.

Just in time, Arale darted out of the way, leaving room for the shape to make its landing. When its feet finally hit the granite outlook, she took a closer look at this mystery object. Although her sight was near that of a cave salamander, she could still tell that the creature was actually two creatures, one large and one small. The large one appeared to be some monstrous underwater lifeform, like something you might find in an elaborate movie-themed ride. The small one was vaguely humanlike in shape, and seemed to be grasping the larger one by the tail. Yet very few could do what this "human" just did...

"How's this?" Goku beamed, letting go of the six-foot fish's tail.

"Wow, cool!" Arale cheered out loud. "You caught it!"

He smiled easily. "Usually these guys put up quite a fight," he explained, motioning to his prize. "But this one went down real easily!"

She walked over to the fallen fish and knelt down. Her hands then set about examining the object and trying to make it out. "Y'know, I think ya hit it too hard," she commented. "It's all beat up and scrungy."

Turning around at her comments, Goku took a look at his catch, and lurched back in disgust. "Ugh!" he groaned, wrinkling his nostrils. "That's no good!"

All of the scales were covered in some sort of faint fungus, giving the fish a greasy, yellow tinge. Goku could also see large swells of purple arising in bumps over its sides and tail. And the eyes, already glassy from death, carried a hue that showed, even if it hadn't been hunted, death wasn't so far off for it.

"Can't eat this," he decided, putting his hands under its bulk. "Better ditch it." With a single heave, he lifted the fish up over his head, barely straining at all. Next, he walked over to the edge of the large boulder overlooking the lagoon, trying to find the best place to toss it. Looking carefully, he spied a good spot in the darker areas of the pool, and prepared his throw.

"Pi-pii, wait!"

But as soon as his arms were to make the arc, a silvery shape popped out in front of the rock, coming up to his nose. "W-whoa!" Goku staggered back, trying to hold onto the fish. Yet he was already too far gone, so in compensatiton for his grasping the fish, he instead flipped onto his back, sending it flying backwards to the sandy shores, right next to the other.

Arale stared vacantly at the fish for a slow moment, and turned back towards the new being. "Who are you?" she asked it, pointing out.

The creature backed off while Goku stumbled back upright again. "Sorry to surprise, pi-pii," it apologized in a twitchy, high-pitched voice. "But I just couldn't let you throw away food like that, pi-pii-pi-pii."

Arale walked over to the recovered Goku and put her finger to her temple. "Hoyo?"

Both of them took a second, closer look at this new character. It appeared to be a medium sized dolphin, with shining gray skin covering its sleek frame and sharp, cutting fins protruding outwards in the obvious places. It featured beady black eyes, a large bill, and a curiously shaped mouth permanently transfixed in a smile. However, by the way it carried itself, it did not seem to be very cheerful. Even Arale could tell this.

"Forgive me for my intrusion, pi-pii," the dolphin begun, bowing in an odd imitation of civility. "But I am a very hungry dolphin, and it would make me ever so happy if you would let me have that fish, pi-pii, oh yes it would."

Goku took this in with a doubtful frown, folding his arms. "You can eat that fish if you want it," he said, motioning to it with a thump. "But I wouldn't."

The dolphin swam a bit from the boulder to get a better look at the fish. "Pi-pii, it's already spread here!" it squeaked, eyes widening with panic. "Now I'm doomed!"

"What's up," the boy asked, walking over to the distrusted creature. "You in some kind of trouble?"

"Oh very much so, pi-pii pi-pii!" it said, nodding its long head.

Both Goku and Arale listened carefully as the dolphin started its woeful tale. "I have been stranded in this lagoon for over one month," it said, gesturing with fins. "I was traveling through the friendly seas with my fiance when we stopped by this very lagoon to take a rest drink. But them, pi-pii, a huge pouring of strange materials emptied around its entrance, blocking the way! My fiancée managed to escape, but alas, pi-pii, I did not."

"That sounds pretty bad," Goku sympathized sincerely.

The dolphin shook its head. "And that's not even the worse part!" it said sadly. "The horrible materials that block my way have also polluted this lagoon where I reside, pi-pii, yes it has. It mutates the fish that I eat, and it clogs the water where I sleep. I've been retreating deeper into the lagoon, trying to avoid the contamination. Because I'm afraid, pi-pii, that I'll be next, pi-pi-pii."

Goku's eyes widened up, and he put his hands on his hips resolutely. "Golly, I wish there was something I c'd do to help ya,' he said slowly. "But I'm already tryin' to help Arale-chan here." He motioned to the aforementioned character, who stood blank-faced at him.

The dolphin sighed. "Oh," it said hanging its head in defeat.

The monkey boy saw this disappointment, and attempted to better mend the situation. "Y'know, I could come back later to help," he offered. "Maybe I could bring food and stuff. And then I could..."

"Nah, let's help 'im out now."

His body jolted at this statement, and he turned around to see Arale, smiling unabashedly. "But what about your glasses?" he argued, spreading apart his arms. " You wanna see again, right?"

"Oh sure!" she answered easily. "But we can take a lil' time to help the dolphin dude, no big deal!"

Goku kept up his astonished face for one moment more, then looked back towards the dolphin. He had a fresh smile on his face. "Well, I guess we're free after all!" he said cheerfully. "Whacha need?"

"You'll really help?" it exclaimed, opening its mouth wide. "Pi-pii pi-pii! Thank you ever so much!" The dolphin jumped up and down with a real smile on its face, accidentally splashing the duo. "Thank you, thank you! Pi-pii pi-pii!"

"Don't mention it," Goku waved off his gratitude with a smile. "Hey, as long as we're gonna be workin' together, tell us your name."

"Me?" It raised an "eyebrow," looking surprised at the boy even asking. "I'm just your average friendly dolphin, pi-pii. Just call me Dolphin-kun, pi-pii pi-pii!"

"Then let's go, Dolphin-kun!" Arale yelped, running off in a random direction. "Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

"Pi-pii, wait!" the dolphin said, waving its fin ineffectually. "You're going the wrong way!"

"HoyoooOOOHHH!!!!!" she hollered when she tumbled into the lagoon, sending up a shower of fizzling water from her heavy impact.

"Uh-oh!" Goku's eyes goggled. "Hang on, I'm coming," he said as he took off towards the water and jumped in after her.

As the two tried their best to resolve this diliema, Dolphin-kun lied back and flopped his flippers on the surface. "I hope this all works out," he mussed, looking up at the sky. "Pi-pii pi-pii."

*****

After a little while, this new trio were traveling on their way to the mouth of the lagoon, where the disaster had taken place. Dolphin-kun was leading the way, swimming along the shallow ridge beside Goku, who continued to cart Arale around on his back. They kept up a quick but unhurried pace, being careful enough to avoid the perils about them; Goku the brambles, and Dolphin-kun the reefs. Fortunately, the obstacles were starting to dwindle, leaving them a clearer path for them to navigate. Unfortunately, so were the plants, and the animals, and the trees as well.

As they moved closer and closer to their destination, more and more they could see the effects of the dumped material. With their own eyes, Goku and Arale viewed the sagging reeds, black and brown with rot and infection. The ground they stepped on had few gifts to offer any creature; it was as lifeless as gravel. Even Dolphin-kun, who swam away from it all, could feel the contamination soaking into his skin, creating a clogged up feeling that made strokes an uncomfortable struggle.

Further on they traveled, and they now started to notice a rancid odor alleviating from beyond the blackened tree. A bit unlike the stench of the outhouse, this instead reeked of rotting fruit and drenched rock, giving a very organic taste to this new wave. And yet, there was also a hint of mechanics in the mix, like red rust and perhaps just a drop of oil. Altogether, a very bad omen.

"Bleah," Goku spat, contorting his face and nose. "This is stinky."

"And it dosen't smell very good either," Arale agreed, pinching her nose holes shut. She turned to Dolphin-kun. "Is it much longer?" she asked.

"Actually, we're here," he responded, letting a tired sigh bubble the water. "This is the place, pi-pii."

Goku and Arale turned from the dolphin, and glanced further down the lagoon. They wrenched in nausiation.

"Icky!" Goku declared, a scowl growing on his face.

It was more than icky, at best. The entire apex of the lagoon, where it should've met the ocean, was smothered with disgusting waste. What should've have been rocks and moss was instead pig's slop, machine parts, and just about every miscellaneous piece of garbage known. There was banana peels, broken gears, rotting tangerines, rusty springs, and various other refuges from the treatment plant. Worse still, it didn't end there. Apparently someone thought transmission fluid from old automobiles would make a very good syrup, therefore it was poured all over, making the entire mixture as soggy as day-old cereal.

What a bunch of crap.

"What a buncha crap," Goku commented, trying to edge around the bulk of the mess.

"Uncool," the girl agreed, walking with him. She took large steps to keep her feet from sticking to the sludge, but that didn't keep scraps of the stuff from sticking to her. "It's worse than the doc's lab," she commented, picking a banana peel off of her feet.

"Yeah..." Goku said, shivering at the word "doc." Doctors scared him.

Dolphin-kun flopped despairingly on the water. "Pi-pii, this is what I have to deal with," he said, drowning himself in self-pity.

Goku looked at the dolphin, his eyes holding doubt at the dolphin's confidence. Then he looked at the trash, scanning the dam of junk from end to end. And then he smiled. "Ah, this is nuthin'!" he boasted, gripping onto his hips. "We can clear this!"

"I ain't scared of no junk, either!" Arale cheered, pounding her chest with vigor.

"But wait, pi-pii!" Dolphin-kun warned, swimming as close as he could without running into the garbage. "You don't know how much there is!"

"Sure I do," Goku said easily. "And it's no biggie." He turned back to Arale, motioning towards the ground with his hands. "Let's get to it!" he cried, kneeling down.

"Okay!" she responded, and followed suit.

"Pi-pii!" But the two were no longer listening, already busy in their task of digging up the dam. They clawed away at the mounds of junk cluttering up the lagoon's enterance, throwing it back behind them at a fast pace. A VERY fast pace.

{FIP!} {FIP!} {FIP!} Their arms left messy blurs behind them as they flung various odds and ends into a pile behind them. Both of them worked their muscles to the limit, achieving a rythum touched only by gods. In no time at all, they had dwindled the trash mound in front of them to half its size. And it didn't look like they'd slow down.

(They're doing pretty well,) Dolphin-kun thought to himself, looking off into space. (It 's too bad they'll all be smothered.)

{SHOOMP!} All at once, a massive wave of trash launched itself from an unknown orifice, shooting off viciously towards the lagoon. Goku and Arale gave this phenomenon a look of blankness shortly before they were engulfed underneath its spreading blanket. The garbage covered them up to the tips of their noses, allowing only their wide eyes to view the sight: that the amount of cleanup duty was not only been rekindled, but had effectively doubled.

"What th' heck?" Goku cursed, trying to push himself up from the trash. "It's all crapped up again!"

"Pi-pii, I tried to tell you," the dolphin sighed, moving closer. "Every time a little bit of the blockade is removed, another load appears to take its place." He shook his head sadly. "I should've known this wouldn't work," he moaned, resting his bill against the water's surface.

"But that's dumb," Arale protested, yanking her leg out from the structure of waste. "The crap's gotta be comin' from somewhere. That's the way crap works!"

"You're right," Dolphin-kun nodded, pointing his flipper westward. "Pi-pii, there."

Goku and Arale both stared in the general direction he referred to. For a while, all they could see was just more crud, piling up in little bumps here and there. Soon, though, their eyes picked out an object that managed to distinguish itself from the rest. Although much of it was covered in trash, it seemed to have a cylindrical structure, crafted of dull steel with a opening in the center. And further on, the hole led deep through a hollow waterway, which stretched off into darkness that ended who knows where.

"It's a pipe!" Goku called out the obvious, eyes wide with misplaced surprise. "Wonder where it leads?"

"We'll find out in Part 2, pi-pii pi-pii," the dolphin responded, looking down at the asterisks below this sentence.

*****

Goku: "Part 2 will be comin' soon."

Arale: "Don't go bye-cha!"





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