"Hi," says the first. "Welcome to Shippers Anonymous. I guess you're here for the same reason everyone else is."
"Oh, no, I'm not really..."
The second one stops you. "Now, the first step to help is admitting you have a problem. Now, repeat after me: I am a shipaholic."
You swallow. "I-I... I'M A SHIPAHOLIC!"
The third nods. "That's right, you are! We're having a group meeting right now, why don't you come in, and help us help you."
"I'm Dee," the first says. "I specialize in several Shipaholic groups, including Tenchi and Outlaw Star."
"I'm Haley," says the second. "I do the same sorta thing Dee does."
"I'm Jess," the third greets. "I'm an expert on Pokémon Shipping."
"I'm the one and only ST!" the fourth informs you. "I'm knowledgable on all things Slayers, Pokémon and Digimon!"
The fifth laughs and makes a crazy face. "I'M JET! I don't do much but I know a lotta Gundam Wing CRAP!"
"Why don't you come in?" ST suggests. "So we can get started?"
Jet grins. "And remember: we're not just the owners..."