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Oh boy Jet...
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Written by the Amazingly Disturbing Jet-skidoodles

Warning Written by Dee: This is the odd Jet's fanfic about Misty and James... or, if you prefer, about how much she hates Misty and Ash. If you like Misty and Ash to insane levels you probably should stay away. Brock fans with senses of humor (which is pretty much all of them) oughta be fine. It's hilarious if your sense of humor is like mine, but the language is a bit... uh, well, it's rated R, so there's your answer. If you get offended easily and are all big about Ash and Misty (blah), then It's back to the Pokémon Ward you go.

As for the rest of you... have fun! ^_^

James strolls out of his cell and plops down infront of you. “Come to bail me?” James says in his thrilled voice.
“Not until you tell me how you got in here! James, you have to tell me how it all happened!” you cross your legs, prepared for a long story.
James sighs, “Ok…ok… heres how it went…”

*flashback music*

“JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!!!!” Misty’s annoying whorish voice squealed from the kitchen “WHERE ARE YOU MY DARLING?!?!”
James clenched his jaw, and strolled out of the bedroom. “What the hell are you doing here? And how did you get into MY house?” James said buttoning up his shirt.
“OUR house Jimmy, OUR house!” Misty walked over to him and leaned over for a kiss.
“AAAH!” James jumped back “The HELL are you doing?!?!” he pants as he clenches his chest “Friggen psycho.”
“Don’t you love me Jimmy?” Misty said hiking up her shorts.
“Oh…dear…” James turned around as the phone rang. “Saved by the bell..” James mumbled as he picked up the phone. “Hello?” James said keeping eye contact with Misty down to a bear minimum.
“Hey James!” Ash’s scratchy girly voice came over the other end. “Is Misty there by chance?”
“Umm…hai…” James shoved the phone into Misty’s hands.
“Hello?” Misty said in her gay tramp voice.
“Misty. Pikachu and I are going to go on an adventure! Doesn’t that sound like such fun!!” Ash giggled excitedly.
“Oh oh oh! I wanna come! Some of those pokemon…are…so…cute…and make me so…HOT” Misty said all gay like.
“I’ll meet you in Pallet town…right next to where you work.”
“You mean hooters? Ok then Ash! See you then!” Misty hung up the phone and pranced out of the door.
“I swear I’m going to kill that ho.” James said spraying down his house with Lysol. “She’s always up in my area code!” James glanced at his watch “Eeek! I have to go meet Jessie and Meowth to go steal more pokemon from those twerps!” James put up his hair in that hot pony tail and started off to Jessie’s house.

*At Jessie’s house*

“JESSIE!!!” James said running over to Jessie.
“JAMES!!!” Jessie said skipping over to James.
They hug and do the cute leg thing.
“Jessie, I need your help. I really cannot stand those dorks anymore, so, I’ve come up with a plan to kill…at least one… preferably…Misty. Cuz she’s a ho, and well, she needs to die. So, my plan was…” James was cut off by a load thud.
“Ow…” Meowths heavy New York accent was heard from across the room. James fell over laughing. “Insteda youse guys just laughin at meh, why don’t youse help meh up!” Meowth called from the stairs “This darned cake fell right on topa meh, and I can’t geddup!”
Jessie walked over to Meowth laughing and pulled him up. “Whats the cake for meowth?” Jessie said shoving the icing from his face.
“It was meh new thought for catchin those twiops! See, we was gonna throw dese in there faces, and den they wouldn’t be able to see, den we could catch’em!…no pun intended...” Meowth licks the cake off his face and paw…hand…things.
“Meowth, that’s brilliant! But James has a better idea…why don’t we…just…KILL THEM!!” Jessie throws her arms in the air, “I think it’s a great idea!!” she squeals.
“Works for me.” Meowth throws the cake over his shoulder. “Lets hear the plan James!!”
Jessie yanks James over to the table that magically appeared in front of them. “Tell us the plan!”
“Well…umm…I really only want to kill Misty. So, I was thinking of just, ya know, shooting her…” James smiled at Jessie “Wanna help?”
“SURE!” Jessie jumped to her feet and grabbed a gun. “Lets go hunt us some twerps!”

*Meanwhile in Pallet town…*

“ASHY ASHY!!!” Misty jumped over to Ash and hugged him like the little whore she is.
Brock showed up because he had to get his little no-eyed ass into the picture. “Hey my pimp hoes!” Brock said wearing chains and had one pant leg rolled up.
“Brock?!” Ash and Misty said in unison.
“Dats right you bitches! Its me! Your pimp-dogg! Gotta represent for my G’s!!” Brock said flashing gang signs in the air.
Just then a car drives by and shoots Brock. “WE FROM DA EAST SIDE MOTHAFUCKA!!” the guys scream from the car.
Ash and Misty look at eachother. “Uhh…so anyway…” Misty says as they start walking.
“Um, ya, lets get going on that pokemon catching!” Ash said gayly as they walked off into the sunset.

*Meanwhile back at Jessie’s place*

“...And then you sneak up behind her, and blow her brains out!” James said happily to Jessie.
“Alrighty then. Lets get this show on tha road!” Jessie bounded for the door and ran out.
James laughed insanely and followed Meowth out the door. Jessie pulled out her Super Ear: Whore Finder, and listened for Misty’s voice. “I can hear her!” Jessie screeched and skipped off into that general direction.
“Look James! I can see her stupid hair! There right over there!” Jessie cocked her gun, and ran from tree to tree, humming the Mission Impossible theme.
As Jessie approached Misty and her gay little friend, she saw Brock, bloody and pimpish laying on the ground. “Well…that’s unusual…I hope this isn’t on TV…WB will butcher it so bad..” Jessie shook her head, and returned her glance to Misty.
“Uhh…Jessie…” James’s voice came from behind her, “do you think that maybe I could be the one to kill her, since it was my plan…and all…”
James’s eyes went all puppy dog-ish, but was prepared to duck when Jessie threw a punch at him. “James, you KNOW I’m the best one for this job! I have an excellent shot, and, well I’m just better. So, James, why don’t you just back up, and let ME do the job. Kay?!” Jessie batted her eyelashes at him, and looked back at the asses who were looking at a rock.
“Ok..Jessie, I’m TELLING you, I’m going to kill Misty. NOT you. So give me the gun” James yanked the gun from mistys hands. “So why don’t you…just back up.”
James’s voice cracked as he saw the flames grow in Jessie’s eyes. James ran as fast as his hot little legs would carry him, right behind Misty and Ash.
“Hi twerps” James said running past them.
“JAAAAAMES!!!! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!” Jessie screamed from behind him.
James stopped in his tracks, and turned to face Misty. “Misty…” James said out of breath, “I have something to say to you…”
“Yes Jimmy?” Misty said in her stupid-ass voice.
James cocked the gun, “Die bitch, die.” James stuck the gun to her chest, and pulled the trigger.
He turned to Ash, and cocked the gun again. “And your gonna die, because I’ll be doing the world a favor.” James put the gun to Ash’s head, and pulled the trigger.
Eat that WB!!

*Back at the jail*

“That’s…about it.” James looks at you and smiles.
“Oh, well, ok then!!”
you pay James’s bail fee, and you walk home together, hand in hand.
THE END!!!

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