Amusement Park Part Two
By Kapok
Teh heh heh . . . whatever . . .
Anyhoo, on a small propeller plane above some part of the Russian wilderness . . .
Saba: And Another Thing! Next Time, when I say “In-flight meal”, I don’t mean some old twice-rat-chewed stale piece of prison bread! Custody is no excuse!
Pilot: (turns slightly in his chair) yes, madam. (Turns to rest of plane, which is filled with fully decked out-army guru-type guys) restrain her. . . PLEEZE! (desperate)
About thirty of the guys start to move menacingly towards her, guns and hand-held-rocket launches aimed and at the ready.
Saba: (closes eyes and sends out some sort of random shockwave through the plane. Opens her eyes. All the army guys have been knocked out, and are sprawled all over the plane, with no visible injuries)
Saba: Sigh…
“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! …”
*Saba jumped over bodies into the cockpit. Red lights are flashing, and the propellers are straining as the plane loses altitude and begins to nose dive. Frantically Saba grabbed the pilot-steering-wheel-thingy*** and pulled up. A new light started flashing (and it just HAD to be the big red one)
Saba ran through to the back of the plane. Grabbing a parachute off the rack, wrenched open the door, and jumped out. Pulling the chute, she swung around to watch the plane gain speed and crash into a nearby mountain, in a huge, blazing explosion.
Parts of plane and army anatomy went flying out in all directions. A small black box whizzed over, and, cupping her hands, the smouldering cube gently lands there*
Saba: No evidence, no inquest (laughs happily) damn, I'm lucky!
*Then an eagle lands on the top of her chute, shredding it with its talons*
Saba: AAAAAHHHHHHH ! ! !
*She falls a couple thousand feet, then hits the tree canopy, and the tree branches slow her decent. As she is about to hit the ground her chute gets caught on a tree branch, and she swings to a halt gently, a few feet above the ground*
Saba: (looks at ground) Damn, I'm lucky. (hears buzzing sound. Looks down. Notices she's put her foot through a hive of several thousand killer bees)
Saba: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (the bees swarm out)
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Meanwhile, Rass is back in the apartment he shares with Piccolo. Watching cartoons, slouching on the couch.
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On a plane, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean,
Piccolo: I sense a disturbance in the force! . . . ah well (relaxes, sips tropical juice)
* Ahem.*
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On another plane, about an hour out of Colombia,
Kapok: (crunching on m&m's, listening to discman. Looks up. Mizz is watching her every move with the m&m's)
Kapok: . . . urrr . . . you . . . want some . . . ? (obvious reluctance)
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Out in the forest,
Saba: I'm scratched, stung, smouldering . . . but I'm alive. Damn, I'm lucky. (bends down to get a drink from pristine mountain spring)
Wild Bear: RAAARRRGGHH!
Saba: -gulp-
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Back in the flat, eyes still glued to the screen,
Rass: hee hee, oh yogi bear, you're so silly . . .
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But things were not running so smoothly on Kapok and Mizz's plane either.
Kapok: So . . . Mizz . . . (trying to make conversation) what is it you do again?
Mizz: (scoffing m&m's) Ah 'mm off of Of of gof.
Kapok: . . . really? . fascinating. I've always wanted to go into archaeology.
Mizz: mmuff! (swallows). So. What do you do?
Kapok: oh, a bit of everything. So, is it like in the movies, Indiana Jones, Tomb - raider kinda stuff?
Mizz: more or less. Which explains why I was in Colombia. South American and the plebo - Mexican civilisations are considered the last major frontier for archaeologists, by which I mean massive temples, pyramids, caves, and that sort of thing.
Kapok: oh. So, do- (cut off by shouting. A guy storms up the front of the plane)
Guy: (wearing some vaguely military-looking outfit, with a long menacing black cape, waving a machine gun. Flanked by a couple of dirty looking thugs) This is a hijack (broken accent. Possibly German, possibly Arabian. I'm not enough of a linguist to really know.) land the plane at these coordinates, and nobody gets hurt!
*he hands a piece of paper to the hostess. The rest of the plane claps and cheers*
Random Passenger 1: (to RP2) for a moment there, I was fooled.
Mizz: (to Kapok) it's my arch-rival, Genro Krossan!
Kapok: really?
Mizz: yes . . . (grrr) he's always following me, everywhere I go! He keeps trying to kill me, and sabotage my work. (stands up, stands tall, puts fist on chest)
It's pointless Krossan! Your megalomaniacal games have gone too far!
Kapok: (also standing) wow! This is so exciting! I've never had an enemy who lasted longer than . . . two days, three hours . . .
Mizz: I'd hate to be your enemy.
Kapok: (considering it) me too.
Krossan: why isn't this plane turning? (turns and shoots random passenger 1. General panic. Kapok reclines in her chair)
Mizz: so . . . Krossan . . . how'd you get that through airport security (gestures at gun)
Krossan: I pulled the trigger. Bullet goes right through them. What did you think I'd do?
Mizz: uh . . . dunno really . . . I suppose I never thought about it . . .
*Krossan raises gun to shoot Mizz. Kapok looks on, highly amused.*
Mizz: Kapok! How can you just sit there? Krossan is about to kill me!
Kapok: yeah? Well, when he does, I'll shoot him back for you.
Mizz: thankyou dear. (looks around for way to escape)
Kapok: oh whom I kidding. I'm not patient enough, and I don't have to use a gun. (waves hand in Krossan's general direction. A swirling whirlpool-like void opens behind him, and sucks him in. Krossan screams all the way, dissolving in a gentle hiss of static. The void closes)
Mizz: what line of work were you in again?
Other thugs: Oh No! she's killed our beloved leader! Quick, let's get out of here! (they grab parachutes, and jump out of the plane. They continue to get sucked in to the jet turbines. Mizz struggles over and pulls the door shut. Sits back in chair.)
Kapok: (looks out window at flakes of charred thug in their wake) something is not right . . .
Mizz: what?
Kapok: the plane's still going the wrong direction . . .
*they jump up and enter the cockpit. There is no pilot, and some ominous looking bloodstains leading to the toilet cubicle*
Kapok + Mizz: . . . urm . . .
Mizz: WAIT! I have 200 hours! I can fly planes!
Kapok: well, if you're sure.
Mizz: no, but I might as well try. (strikes heroic pose, hand on chest)
Kapok: fine with me. (flops into Co-pilot's seat, and starts munching m&m's)
*Mizz sits nervously in the pilot's chair. After a couple of initial loop the loops, they work it out and all arrive back home, only a couple of hours late.*
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Back in the Russian jungle
Saba: sigh . . . I'm scratched, clawed, stung, smouldering, dehydrated, I've lost all my luggage, and a raccoon stole my watch . . . damn coons . . .
(a little voice appears in her head)
Little voice: te . . . . . . te . . . . .
Saba: what?? Television? I would like some television . . .
Little voice: te . . . . . . te . . . . .
Saba: tee hee? Are you poking fun of me?
Little voice: te . . . . . . te . . . . .
Saba: testimony? Oh, please, no . . . .
Little voice: urgh, no, you dolt, teleport!
Saba: oh. Now why didn't I think of that? (blinks out)
So. They all got to the airport happily. (except maybe for random passenger 1)
What will happen when they meet at the amusement park?
Will they just pull it to pieces like they do everything else whenever they go anywhere together?
What will the others think of Mizz?
What really happened to Krossan? (I mean, an enemy for that long can't just DIE, can he? Then again, he hadn't come across the magnificent Kapok before, had he?)
At any rate, REME!!!
***(Fallimar interrupts Kapok's typing)The steering-wheel thingy spun, and hit Saba in the head. It suddenly turned into a giant frog and hopped away into the sunset. The end.
Thanks for that, Fallimar, but that's not what really happens . . .
Part Three is 4 me!
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