Double Dating Movie Marathon.
Part Four, By Kapok.
Disclaimer: Paste Disclaimer here.
You have a sick sick mind, and I don’t mean the good kinda sick. That is sooo unlike me. If I could hypnotise people, I’d have them doing my homework and robbing banks. Oh, and another thing. ALL Star Trek is good. Except maybe some Deep Space Nine.
Kapok and Saba: Wha-b’baw-ood’ag’ob-oob’a
Rass: Mouthwash! I need Mouthwash! (standing on chair and screaming)
Piccolo: That was… kind of… unusual…
Saba: your not meant to remember anything after you come out!
(Rass has madly run off to the men’s)
Piccolo: Uh-huh, but you forgot to put that bit in your opening speech.
Saba: F*****, S***! GOD D*** IT! Oh, B***** H***.
Kapok: Fascinating. (clicks fingers. Piccolo slides to the floor. In the mens toilet, Rass
also goes out of it.)
Saba: oh, whew. For a moment there I thought I’d wasted all that film for nothing.
Kapok: don’t you EVER say that. Here’s the plan. When Rass comes back, we’ll “reprogram” them. But he better be back soon. Coz if the movie finishes before we brainwash them, they’ll be stuck in this zombie – like a trance. FOR-EVV-AHH.
Saba: -GULP- (¼ of an hour later.) . . . he’ll be back real soon . . .
Kapok: maybe you should go and get him.
Saba: me?
Kapok: he’s your boyfriend.
Saba: oh pleaze. He’s been kissing up with everyone but me tonight.
Kapok: fine. We’ll go together.
Saba: Fine. (both get up)
Kapok: bye Pic. (waves hand in Piccolo’s face. He doesn’t move. Outside in the foyer. Kapok and Saba walk past the candy bar. Come to outside of the guys dunnies)
Kapok: open it.
Saba: I don’t wanna touch it. (both stand there staring at each other. Finally Saba sighs and reaches toward the door . . . weedy annoying ticket guy comes along (different one))
Weedy Annoying Ticket Guy: excuse me, ladies, but you can’t go in there. (voice breaking)
Kapok and Saba: sigh. (Kapok punches. Saba kicks. WATG goes flying backward. Enter men’s room.)
Kapok: it’s a jungle in here . . . (pan shat around room. Men leaning against walls, using urinals, grooming each other (flea-picking), splash fights at the basins. Constant monkey shrieks, lion roars, and elephant trumpets can be herd)
Saba: let’s just find Rass and get out.
(pick their way through guys, who don’t even notice their there. While walking, Kapok and Saba pass a bar, casino, pin ball machine, bowelling alley, greyhound track, tar pits, mini-golf course, basketball court, pool table, and a wall street style stock market. They come to the cubicles.)
Saba: (who is now utterly sick of it) Rass? (Knocks on door) Rass?
CRASH! (Saba looks over. Kapok has kicked the next cubicle door in. screaming guy runs out)
Screaming guy: AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kapok: nope, not that one.
Saba: (raises eyebrow)
Kapok: (shrugs)
Saba: (kicks next cubicle door in) Oh, err, sorry. (guy in cubicle screams)
Kapok: over here. (from next to Rass, unconscious, propped against wall)
They lift and carry him back to the movie theatre. Dump him in seat next to Piccolo. Then . . . credits flash up.
Kapok: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo (gasp in air) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Saba: (jumps in front of guys) We can still make it! Together now!
Kapok and Saba in unison: youareunderourpowerwhenyouwakeupyouwillnotrememberanythingbutinsteadthinkyoujustfellasleep. (click fingers)
Rass: (yawns and puts arm behind Piccolo. Realises mistake and quickly pulls it back) I must have fallen asleep.
Saba: sure . . .
Piccolo: yeah. So. Wonder what’s up next.
Kapok: something full of violence, I hope. (all nod)
Rass: What? Where’s my wallet?
Saba: (to Kapok, whispering) oh no. he must have dropped it back in the men’s room!
Piccolo: (ears pick up. Raises eyebrow.) *Tense moment*
Rass: oh, wait, here it is. How’d it get in my shoe?
Piccolo: Kapok, can I talk to you for a moment?
Kapok: sure. (go outside) so?
Piccolo: what happened? In there, I mean.
Kapok: well. You fell asleep and Saba and Rass snuck off to the dunnies to make out, and-
Piccolo: Don’t lie to me, Kapok. No-one goes in THERE to make out. The truth.
Kapok: uhh . . .
Piccolo: perhaps this would help aid your memory (holds up dictaphone)
Kapok: What? Where did you-? (feels pockets. Tries to snatch it back)
Piccolo: the truth. Or else I’ll just listen to it. Along with all your other little “notes”
Kapok: okay. Fine. You started making out with Rass, and Saba took black mail photos. That’s all.
Piccolo: oh, you mean these? (holds up polaroids)
Kapok: (jaw drops) how did you . . .
Piccolo: Heh Heh. At any rate, I think I’ll hold onto them. I can still use them to blackmail Rass. And I’m asexual, so it doesn’t matter what I do, coz I’ve only got me to please. You won’t tell, will you Kapok?
Kapok: not if you give me back my notes. (he does. Kapok checks the tape is still in the recorder. All checks out. Go back into theatre. Movie that comes on is an Alien x Horror type flick)
Rass: (yawns and puts arm around Saba – successfully) don’t you love this sort of movie?
Piccolo: no. how dare the humans destroy those little green men. (anger aurora building) without a second thought for their parent or fellow spawn.
Kapok: hey, it’s only a movie.
Saba: and their not real aliens. Just styrophoam.
Piccolo: but if you cut us, will we not emit green ichor? (and starts quoting the rest of that speech from the merchant of Venice) This is soo wrong. I HAVE FEELINGS! (Aurora really builds)
Kapok, Saba and Rass: (sweat drops) uhh . . .
So. Will Piccolo blow up the movie theatre? (can we take him anywhere?)
Will Rass get any further with Saba? (eventually. I’ll make SURE of THAT.)
What will Piccolo use the Polaroids for? (his webpage?)
Does Kapok really carry a dictaphone? (wouldn’t you like to know!)
Sorry it ran overtime, but you temporarly stumped me with that incidnt in part 3. I’m not really sorry.
Part 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, liftoff!
we have ignition.
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