NOTES: Okay we all know the drill I don’t own the troopers so do not sue me YAOI/ADULT THEMES-YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Okay I’m hoping this won’t be too hard to follow. Anything in ITALICS refers to someone’s thoughts and things spoken in their minds. Anything with this // symbol refers to an event that has already happened as in flashbacks, remembrances. This ~ symbol is used when Touma writes in his journal. This **** indicates a change whether it’s a scene or speaker.
No one cares,
because you’re a senseless fool.
No one cares,
because you’re a useless tool.
No one cares,
whether you laugh or cry.
No one cares,
whether you live or die.
No one cares,
that you’re all alone.
No one cares,
they’re as cold as stone.
NO ONE CARES!
Touma returned later that night to find Seiji sleeping soundly. “At least one of us can sleep.” How he wanted to just wake the swordsman up and confess his true feelings for him, but he resisted the temptation. “Seiji would never go for such forwardness. Damn traditions!”
He had spent the past few hours up with the stars, crying and feeling sorry for himself. His heart felt as though it had been shattered into a million tiny pieces and it hurt. “God how it hurts. Maybe this is why my parents never showed those things, they were sparing me from the pain.”
Then he remembered that he had rushed off so fast that he had left his journal out on the balcony. Racing out to look for it, he let out a sigh of relief when he found it just where he had left it. Thank god! If Seiji would have read this I don’t know what I would have done. Clutching it securely Touma turned to go back in when he had caught sight of a shooting star.
Another one has died, just like my heart. I’d make a wish on you, but I’m finding out very quickly that my wishes never come true. No one cares. Seiji cares for someone else; I’ve lost and that’s that!
Stripping and quietly putting on his pajamas, Touma crawled into his bed; sad, lonely and heart broken. Lying there he looked at the glow in the dark stars that adorned the ceiling right above his bed. They were all he had now. They were the only things that knew his heart and how he longed for the warmth of someone’s touch or to hear someone tell him that he was loved. Touma rolled over and buried his face into his pillow, crying softly until he fell asleep.
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The next few days Touma kept to himself, more then what was normal for the blue-haired archer. He was not really in the mood for anyone’s company. The others had all noticed his self-imposed isolation and tried to bring him out of it.
Everyone, with the exception of Seiji, was constantly asking him if he was okay, which was driving him insane. Finally he had to make something up just to keep them off his back, especially Shin who always worried about the guys.
// Touma cared about Shin like a brother, but his mother hen ways were working on his nerves. Shin was the only one with the exception of Lorelei, Shin’s girlfriend and Touma’s official practical jokes partner, who knew how he felt about Seiji. Not that he had told them or anything. It was Lorelei who had figured it out first simply by observing the way he always acted whenever Seiji was around him. She called it ‘women’s intuition’, plus she remembered giving Shin the very same looks before they started going out.
Shin had this uncanny knack for figuring things out and soon he knew all that Lorelei knew. Touma had made them promise to never say anything to anyone about it; too much was at stake if it got out. Touma envied the relationship Shin and Lorelei had, they were so open with each other, and not afraid or embarrassed to show how they felt. //
Lying on his bed, Touma wrote in his journal. It was his only way of expressing himself without fear of judgment. Actually it was easier for him to express on paper then it was face to face with anyone.
~ Some birthday this will be tomorrow! The one thing I want, I can’t have. If I had the courage I could have told Seiji how I felt, but no I’m a coward, afraid to be rejected, afraid that Seiji wouldn’t want anything further to do with me.
Even if the impossible did happen and Seiji would return my affection, could I handle it? Would I be able to give myself to him? I want to, but wanting and doing are two different things. God I just don’t know! I know that my body reacts to the images and thoughts I have about Seiji, look at how I reacted the last time... but would I... could I be comfortable with the real thing or would I freeze up? I’m good at imagining myself with Seiji, as lovers, but how would I be for real? Lousy? Okay? Pitiful? Great? Would I be passionate or would my hang-ups get in the way?
If Seiji and I did have something going, would it be affectionless, void of emotions? I mean I assume there would be something, but would that be enough? I’ve gone so long not hearing or saying how I feel for someone I don’t know if I could handle that. I don’t want to repeat history and live as my parents did.
Even if I have trouble expressing my feelings love should be an uniting of heart, mind, body and soul. Love shouldn’t be hidden or be the cause of shame or embarrassment, it should be cherished, nurtured and protected so it can grow and flourish.
To love someone like that one has to have the ability to show it and say it, they go hand in hand and even though one can stand without the other, it tilts and falls after awhile. Would I be able to accomplish both? Would Seiji? It seems that the more I analyze it the more questions I have, but where do I find the answers? Better yet, do I even want to know?
Touma Hashiba ~
Touma put the journal back in it’s hiding spot then walked out to the balcony. There was a chill in the air but it didn’t bother him in the slightest, in fact he welcomed it. He hadn’t seen Seiji all morning and he wondered where the swordsman had taken off to. Probably out in the forest somewhere meditating. Touma thought.
He lifted his face to the wind enjoying its gentle touch, wishing like hell that it were the touch of the one he craved. He was tempted to try and touch Seiji’s mind through their link, but thought better of it. “If he’s meditating he won’t answer, plus I get the feeling he wants to be alone right now.”
// When he returned to the mansion last night he could have sworn he had seen tears on Seiji’s cheeks as he slept. He had considered waking him up to see what was wrong, but the fatigue and sadness in his own heart were just too much for him.
Never would he know how it felt to have Seiji look at him the way he looked at the swordsman... With eyes filled with love. Never would he know Seiji’s gentle touch or the feel of his body next to his. He was in what appeared to be a hopeless situation. Hopelessly in love with a hopelessly unattainable person. //
Touma lay back on the lounge chair, warm sunlight covered him as he drifted lazily off to sleep.
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Stretching out on the sofa, Touma gave up on the book he had been trying to read. He just didn’t feel like reading right now. Earlier he had fallen asleep on the balcony and when he awoke he was quite chilled and decided to crawl into bed under warm blankets but Seiji had returned and had asked him if he could move over to one of the spare bedrooms just until the weekend. Seems Seiji had a major exam to study for and he needed to be free from all distractions. He had requested that he not be bother by anyone so he could study quietly.
Now I’m a bother to him. I guess that’s what I am to a lot of people, an inconvenience. Touma agreed to move to the spare bedroom and now Nasuti was up there clearing some things out for him. Seiji had helped him move a few things out of the room and for now they sat in the hallway waiting to be put away.
Seiji had already locked himself into their bedroom. “That’s so ‘Seiji’, locks himself away just like he locks away his true emotions.” Touma thought out loud. Grabbing his journal he opened it to a blank page. He wasn’t sure if writing his feelings down actually helped, but it was a habit he had gotten into a long time ago and now it was a routine he found comforting to his soul. “I guess this is how Seiji must feel when he meditates. Maybe I’m starting to understand him better then I realize.”
~ Seiji,
Maybe this is for the best. Me moving over to my own room, even if it is temporary. It would be too hard right now to sleep in the same room. To be so close to the one I care about, yet seem so far away. God how am I going to handle this! To see you at night sleeping so peacefully, looking like an angel sent from heaven.
God how I love to just watch you as you sleep, the way your hair falls away from your face to cascade around your head to form a halo. The way the moonlight dances upon your face. How many nights have I just wanted to crawl into that bed with you so I could hold my angel close to me?
God what is happening to me? What would you think if you saw me like this? I know, first you would call me weak and then you would tell me to get out of your life. That seems to be the way my luck is running lately. I’m trying so hard to get over this crush, infatuation, whatever you want to call it, but it’s not easy. I realized that my feelings for you developed slowly over time, and to get over you will take time.
I finally find someone I want to be closer to and what happens? Not only is that person another guy, but also you’re not even slightly interested in me. I feel like such a fool, maybe I am pathetic Seiji but I can’t help it! I care for you so very much!
I want to be the source of your happiness, I want to be the reason you smile, I want to be the cause of your laughter, and I want to be the foundation your heart builds upon. I want to be your friend, partner, confidant, companion and lover. I want to be all these things to you Seiji, and so much more, but I know it can’t be and that’s the hardest thing to accept...
Touma ~
Touma could feel the tears forming behind his eyes but held them in check. He had to keep control over his emotions until he could get into his temporary room, then he would be free to let it all out.
Maybe I’ll just make that my permanent room. Then I won’t have to be tortured every night and worse yet, every morning when Seiji steps out of the shower.
Touma covered his eyes with his hands trying his best to keep what was inside of him there, the way it should be. That was another one of his habits, never crying in front of his friends. The other troopers were his first real friends and he wasn’t about to risk losing that by appearing weak.
“God what would they think of me if they knew how I felt about Seiji? Sure Shin knows, but he is so kind-hearted by nature, so accepting of people that it doesn’t matter to him. The others may find it disgusting and I couldn’t take that, at least right now.”
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Seiji came down to grab a bite to eat, after having been locked up in his and Touma’s room for several hours now, getting things planned out for tomorrow night. Walking past the living room, he caught sight of Touma and the sad expression his lovely face held.
He had a strong feeling that he was the cause of that sadness and wanted nothing more then to take that hurt away right then and there, but it would have to wait one more day. Seiji was determined to make this something special, something Touma would never forget.
“Tomorrow night Touma. Tomorrow night I will bring that smile back to your face, and chase away the pain. Tomorrow night I will show you just what you mean to me. Tomorrow night we will be taken to the heavens and the bliss we find there will fill our very souls. I promise you Touma, I promise.” Seiji whispered softly.
How he wanted to just rush in there, confess everything, tell him he was sorry, sweep the archer into his arms and hold him. How he wanted to just kiss away that frown and caress away his sadness.
No, I have to remain strong. I will show and do those things, if Touma allows me to, but in private. I won’t put him or myself on public display like that. Oh god, no don’t put your hands to your eyes like that Touma!
Seiji knew Touma well enough to know when the archer was trying to hold back from crying. He had seen it many times when Touma thought no one was watching. Many times Seiji found himself wanting to hold Touma till his sadness went away and many times he passed on the idea for fear of what others would think.
Seiji could feel his self-control slipping and knew he had to get away from the scene fast or risk crossing over that fine line that was fading fast. Quickly he turned and headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. His heart was beating faster and he could feel his tears as they blurred his vision.
Finally making it to the safety of the room, Seiji closed and locked the door. Leaning against it, he slid down, drew his knees to his chest, buried his face in his arms and cried. Once again emotions that he had worked so hard at controlling were spilling out, confusing the blond swordsman even more.
What is it about you Touma that makes me this way? God he looked so sad. Was he to blame for it? Of course he was, he had to be. Please, give me a second chance? Let me make it up to him. Give me the strength to show him that I can care, that I’m not some cold heartless soul. Please?
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Touma was finally allowed to move his things into the spare room, once he was settled in, he shut and locked the door. Sitting in the bed, he grabbed his journal and began to write.
~ October 9
Well tomorrow is my birthday, and what am I doing the day before? Sitting in a room all alone. Hey it’s just like old times. Mom called today, she can’t get away from her latest assignment and Dad is off to do a lecture. Just like old times, neither can be around for my birthday. Seiji asked me to move over to this spare room because he needs to study for some exam. Could he possibly be just sick and tired of having me for a roommate? If that’s the case, I only have myself to blame. I’m not exactly the most exciting person to be around, you know.
I should have never allowed my feelings for him to get this strong. Now look at me, I’m falling in love with someone who will never return those feelings. God but it hurts. I may have to consider moving back to my dad’s apartment, anything is better then staying here and seeing the day Seiji falls in love with some girl and rides off into the sunset (so to speak) with her.
To think that up till the end of high school he had this hang up with girls. College sure changed that. He gets over his fear of talking to girls, something I didn’t have a problem with, and I fall for another guy-HIM! How screwed up is that?
It’s so crazy, here I am this supposed genius who can figure out the most complex mathematical equation but when it comes to my personal life, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing! I’m totally clueless as to what I should do with these feelings I have! How sad is that?
I guess the only good news of the day is we got a call from Lors (Lorelei) who Shin is just crazy over. She had to return to the US to tie up some lose ends after her grandmother had died. Well it seems that everything is in order and she’s set to return to Japan next week.
God how I miss her. She and I spent many nights down by the dock just talking. Lors is the sister I never had but always wanted. We spent so much time talking that Shin started getting a little jealous, but he and Lors cleared things up. Personally it wouldn’t surprise me to see those two marry after they finish college next year.
You should see how Seiji rolls his eyes any time Shin and Lors are together and acting all lovey dovey (I think it’s sweet and Seiji’s look is adorable). After all, what’s wrong with showing someone how much you care?
Boy that’s a good one, look who’s talking. I can’t even practice what I preach! I’m scared that’s why! I’m afraid I’d mess things up or Seiji would no longer want to remain friends with me. I admire him way too much to allow my careless feelings to screw that up.
Touma Hashiba ~
Touma closed his notebook and fell back onto the bed. Rolling onto his stomach he groaned and punched the pillow with his fists.
“Dammit Seiji! You’re too good at hiding your true feelings, I can’t tell if you have fallen for this girl or can I still dream? Shit, it’s no use, what am I thinking! I saw how you and ‘What’s her name’ were acting. How much more open must you be before I get it through my thick skull?
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That night two people were missing from the supper table. Seiji had decided to have his meal in his room, “So I can study,” as he put it. Actually Seiji was desperately trying to get his plans in order for tomorrow night, for his special surprise to Touma. He had even snuck out of the house without anyone noticing to pick up his gifts for Touma.
Touma had simply said he wasn’t hungry, much to their surprise. Everyone just assumed that Touma was sad because his parents were going to miss yet another one of his birthdays, especially since this one was a milestone.
It wasn’t too much longer before the house was quiet and dark except for the light in Seiji’s room. He had just come back from a secret trek into the woods where he had been scouring for the perfect location to lead his hopefully, soon to be lover, to.
Lying in his bed Seiji just hoped that Touma would be willing to give him a chance. This wasn’t easy for him, he was taking a huge risk by laying his feelings on the line like this, but Touma was worth it plus it felt right and that was what truly mattered. He glanced at the empty bed and sighed.
“I miss not having you here tonight. How would you feel if you knew how many nights I spent watching you as you slept? Watching you as you hugged your pillow tightly to you, wishing it were me you were holding like that. Hearing that soft snore of yours from across the room, wishing I were hearing it right next to me. Seeing how that soft blue hair falls over your face, wishing I could bury my own face in it. To be that close to you Touma, it’s what I wish for.
For so long I feared being rejected by you so I kept quiet about how I felt. For so long I feared to allow my emotions to show, so I buried them deeper. No more, I’m ready to try, if you’ll give me the chance.
I want to make you happy Touma, to see that smile of yours every morning right next to mine, to feel your heart beating and know that mine is beating in time with yours. I want to hear your laughter, most of all; I want to know your heart.
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The next morning Seiji awoke not to sunshine and the sounds of birds singing, but to skies filled with gray clouds as rain pelted the windows and the sound of thunder as it answered the lightning‘s call.
“DAMN! Now what do I do? My surprise was to happen outdoors, far from the house so we wouldn’t have to worry about others disturbing us. Maybe Shin will know if this is going to stop anytime soon. It won’t do any good though, the ground will never dry out in time! I wanted this night to be perfect for Touma, and for me. Okay Seiji, think! You baka you should have had an alternate plan for just in cases such as this. I may as well go talk to Shin, eat, and then grab a shower before I start racking my brain.”
Seiji finished his shower still trying to come up with an alternate plan. According to Shin the storms were riding some jet stream and it looked as though this was their weather pattern for the next 48 hours or so. Pulling off the towel that was wrapped around his waist, he hung it over the back of a chair, lying down on his bed he tried to think about how he could switch his plans indoors.
“At least the door is locked; I can lie here naked as long as I want without worry. Feels kind of good actually. Of course it would be nicer if Touma were here just as naked and lying in my arms. God listen to me! I sound truly pathetic! What has gotten into me? Why are my feelings for Touma so intense? What am I going to do if he rejects me? Not that I’d blame him. I’ve been a fool and I hurt the one person who means the world to me.
Before I was worried about him not feeling the same thing for me and then rejecting me, but he does care. Now I worry that he’ll reject me because he thinks I’m as straight as one of his arrows!
I don’t believe I have to live one life or the other, either you’re straight or you’re gay! I have feelings for Touma, that’s true, but I just can’t see myself ever feeling like this for another man. Touma’s different, he’s my best friend, we have a connection that runs deeper then human emotions, and it’s on a whole other plane.
One thing is for sure; I have to be certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is what I truly want. Once I cross that line, there’s no turning back. Is what I feel for Touma Love, or am I just tired of being by myself? Is my heart reaching out to him for comfort from loneliness or for love because he’s become someone special to me? No, I’m sure that I am falling for him and hard, but is that enough?
I’m sure that my feelings for him are real, I’m more sure about that then I could ever be. I can’t be bothered with the opinions of narrow-minded people, I’m sure I’ll run into a lot of that. I’ll deal with it then, or just ignore it. It’s not like I haven’t faced it before; I’m Japanese with blond hair and light eyes, how many people have ostracized me for that? I’ve always managed to deal with it; this shouldn’t be any different.”
Seiji turned his thoughts back to Touma after all he was a lot more pleasing to think about. He began thinking about how it would be to kiss his sweet lips, to run his hands over his lean but muscular body, to taste him and to bring him pleasure.
The whole thing began to turn him on, looking down he realized just how turned on he was getting. “Oh what the hell, it can’t hurt, unless of course you believe that old myth about going blind.”. He laughed softly then snaked his hand down over his abdomen until he reached his goal.
Griping his erection he slid his hand slowly up and down it’s length, closing his eyes he found himself recalling the day he watched as Touma pleasured himself. “God he looked so heavenly.”
His quicken the tempo of his hand enjoying the slow burn that was making its way from the pit of his stomach to his groin. “Could Touma have been thinking of me that morning? Was I the cause for that delicious sight?”
Seiji felt his excitement building as he continued stroking his sex. The image of Touma in his mind doing the very same thing was helping to accelerate him towards a much-needed release. Seiji began thrusting his hips upward to meet the strokes; his breathing came in shallow pants. “Need to end the ache, need to feel it now.”
Moving his hand up to the head, he continued with lightening quick strokes. “Yes, that’s it. Not much longer. Oh god yes. Touma!” Seiji thrust his hips one last time as his seed shot out to run hotly down over his fingers while more shot onto his chest, face and hair. His vision blurred over and he could feel his body throbbing from his orgasm, pulsating in time with his heartbeat.
Seiji lay there, exhausted for several long minutes, allowing the tingle to reach every nerve ending. “So much for that shower.” He laughed as he reached out to grab the box of tissues in order to wiped up as much as he could before deciding he needed another shower. “Jeez I hope no one takes notice that my shower is running again.” Just then an idea hit him and his smile spread.
“I’ve got it! I know how I can still pull this whole thing off! Maybe I should do this more often, especially if it helps me to think. Then again, if things work out for Touma and I... I’ll be flying solo a lot less often.”
Laughing to himself, Seiji jumped off the bed and after a quick second shower, he dressed and headed to the attic. There were some items he was going to need if he was going to pull his plan off. He just hoped he could finish it all in time.
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Touma sat at the counter in the kitchen eating his breakfast, or at least trying to eat it. He hadn’t slept very well last night and now was feeling less then cheerful. The spare bedroom he was staying in was next to Nasuti’s and from the sounds he heard, She and Ryo were trying to break a record for all-nighters.
It was only seven in the morning, much too early for any sane person to rise, as far as he was concerned. “Wait till I see those two... talk about being red-faced... Let’s see how red they can get!” He spoke to his Rice Krispies as they snap, crackled and popped back at him. “Oh shut-up, what do you know?”
Touma did make a promise to Shin that he would get a little sleep before tonight’s party, and right now he thought he could fall asleep in his bowl of cereal. Shin had wanted to make him a large breakfast, but Touma just didn’t have the appetite for it. Of course that brought out ‘Mother Hen’ Shin who immediately starting checking to see if he was getting sick.
“Yeah I’m sick alright, love sick that is. How much more pitiful will I get? What am I going to do? I saw Seiji for about thirty seconds this morning and was ready to bawl. Now I’m facing the fact that I’ll have to be in the same room with him this evening. I don’t know if I can do it. If I see those gorgeous violet eyes looking my way I’m sure to lose it!
Hey! Maybe if I got drunk... Nope won’t work, Shin won’t let me. Okay, slightly buzzed then, that’ll work. Shit I can’t, I may end up saying things I’ll regret later! Oh it’s hopeless! Well Touma, I think you almost hit the bottom of the ‘pathetic’ barrel.”
Touma pushed his bowl of cereal away, his appetite was not only gone, it was nowhere to be found, truly missing in action. Getting up from the counter Touma cleaned up his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. “Guess I’ll get that nap in before pyro boy and his fire starter decided to ignite again. I’ll come down and make something to eat later.”
Contrary to what they thought Touma could indeed fend for himself in the kitchen. Sure he was no Iron Chef like Shin, and Seiji may have been slightly better then he, but he held his own.
“You don’t spend all that time alone and not know the basics of cooking, at least not with the way I normally eat.” His chuckle gave way to a yawn and so he slowly made his way up the stairs, giving Nasuti and Ryo, whom he met on the stairs, a small sampling of what he had heard. Needless to say both turned redder then the Rekka Yoroi. “Ha, serves them right!”
Flopping down on his bed he thought more about his feelings for Seiji, still trying to analyze everything that was going on inside him.
No matter, all the analyzing in the world wasn’t going to cause Seiji to fall madly in love with me. Maybe if I can get some sleep things will seem clearer. God only knows I need it. Who knows, maybe the party will be fun anyway. I can go back to sulking tomorrow.
With that the archer closed his midnight blue eyes and drifted peacefully off to sleep.
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Seiji worked feverishly to get everything ready for his surprise to Touma; making sure that everything was perfect. Satisfied, he tested everything, then smiled.
“I just hope this does it. Oh god Touma if you reject me I don’t know what I’ll do. Now I just need to get the notes ready then at the right moment put on the finishing touches.”
Seiji walked over to his closet to stare at the garment that hung on the door. Smiling he reached out to touch the silky material. “Tonight my Touma you will see that someone does care. Tonight I will show you just how much you mean to me. Tonight we will hopefully know all that our hearts desire. Tonight will hopefully start a new chapter in our lives.”
Seiji walked out of the bedroom being careful to lock the door. He couldn’t risk Touma seeing it yet, or anyone else for that matter. He needed to talk to Shin before grabbing a shower and getting ready for the party.
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A loud pounding at the door jolted Touma from his sleep. It was Shu telling him to get his ass up and get ready to party. Still half asleep, Touma lumbered into the shower allowing the water to rinse away the sleepy haze from his mind and body.
Once cleaned and toweled off Touma slipped into a pair of black jeans, the tightest ones he had. He opted for no underwear. “That takes care of the panty line problem!” He laughed at that thought. Finally deciding on his favorite blue silk shirt, he left the top few buttons undone, tucking the shirt in he grabbed a gold chain necklace Shin had given him for Christmas and the matching bracelet. He combed his hair and threw on a little Aspen cologne then looked at himself in the mirror.
“You would think I’m getting ready for a date or something, jeez! Well if nothing else these jeans should get Seiji’s attention. Too bad I’m much too chicken to flirt. Maybe I’ll take out one of those singles ads that may get me a string of dates! I can see it now....”
“Attention Men and Women! Tarzan isn’t the only one to swing both ways. I do too!
Single Japanese Male (Though I don’t look it) 21, attractive, tall, with blue hair (yes that’s right folks, blue hair), intelligent and funny. Not very good at showing emotions. Seeking his Tarzan or Jane (oh what the hell) or both to spend long nights out under the stars with. Blondes need not apply. If interested email me: SugarHigh@pixiestix.yumyum”
Touma found himself in a series of giggles he could not stop as the whole thing played out in his mind. He laughed all the way down to the living room where his friends had gathered. He took one look at them and the fits of laughter worsened.
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When Touma walked into the living room, laughing like a madman, Seiji was mystified at his friend’s behavior. For a moment Seiji thought he might be drunk. Concentrating on the archer he sent him a mental message. *Have you been drinking?* To which came a hasty reply of *NO* said just a little harshly. Seiji winced slightly at Touma’s reply. Ouch, I deserve that I guess. It was only after that did Seiji allow himself to relax and notice how handsome Touma looked.
Damn you Touma you just had to wear those jeans, didn’t you? And no underwear either! Seiji observed how Touma’s shirt clung to his frame, the tight jeans left nothing to the imagination and Seiji found it all very sexy. Dang if I get through this all without getting a hard on I’ll consider myself lucky. Only you could make me think these things, Touma, only you.
Seiji sat back and watched Touma as he greeted some of their friends, and when Shin emerged from the kitchen with Lorelei by his side Seiji couldn’t help but smile. It had not been easy but he had talked to Lorelei a few days ago, confessing everything to her and convinced her to fly from the States a week early.
Now he watched as Touma grabbed her and gave her a big squeeze. The look on his face was one Seiji would never forget. Lorelei had agreed, along with Shin to keep Touma downstairs after the party for a set time, giving Seiji the time he needed to get the rest of his surprise ready.
Surprise number one, accomplished. If anyone can get Touma out of his funk, it’ll be Lorelei. It’s also good to see Shin so happy. I can only imagine how much he must have missed her. What the heck I’ve missed not having Touma sharing our room. It’s been so lonely at night.
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Touma managed to get control of his giggle fits and began to greet the people who had shown up. When Shin walked into the room with Lorelei Touma’s eyes lit up and he grabbed her for a bear hug. Looking over Lorelei’s should, Touma caught a glimpse of Seiji sitting and watching it all.
No matter how hard I try Seiji, you will always own a piece of my heart. You can’t imagine how terribly handsome you look right now. God I just want to run my fingers through your hair, it’s always so soft looking. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get you out of my heart, guess I’ll have to live with it though.
Touma felt his cheeks heat up when Seiji flashed him one of his famous smiles. Seiji’s smiles were different when they were directed at him; Shin had pointed that out. They were deeper, lighting up his whole face, coming from the heart smiles. That was one of the things that Touma found so endearing about him. Touma realized that regardless of what the future held he would always love Seiji, even if that love could never be returned.
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The party ran smoothly and soon the time came for Touma to take the ‘Guest of Honor Seat’ as Shin called it, to open his gifts. The guys had taken an old wooden chair and painted it gold, and then Nasuti had recovered the seat and back with dark blue velvet material. Jun and Shin got some fake looking jewels and glued them on to the chair to make it look like a throne.
Touma couldn’t help but laugh when they set the thing in front of him. Lorelei then surprised him by placing a plastic crown on his head, calling him King Touma and kissing him sweetly. Touma blushed as everyone cheered, except for Shin and Seiji that is; though Shin was only pretending to be jealous.
Touma smiled, happily surprised at the fact that despite his heartbreak he was actually having a good time. One by one gifts were handed to him as he carefully unwrapped them, telling the others who it was from and what it was.
Of course turning twenty-one meant getting a few adult gag gifts. Some of the gifts included; two x-rated movies, a tin containing condoms in every color and texture, a blow up doll, and a How To manual.
Touma blushed with each opening and when he came to a pair of midnight blue thongs his face really took on a deep shade of red, especially when Nasuti and Lorelei began chanting that they wanted to see them modeled.
All the while Seiji remained seated in his chair watching the events unfold and not saying or doing anything, though he did react to the thong. Maybe you’ll model it for me someday? He thought.
The mere image of Touma standing before him wearing nothing but that thong began to turn him on, but it was the image of him removing it from Touma’s body that got him aroused. It took him several agonizing minutes to get his thoughts under control again.
Soon Touma was down to the gifts from the guys. After downing the beer Shu had given him he began opening the gifts slowly so he wouldn’t tear the paper. That always got the guys picking on him but he didn’t care.
>From Ryo he got a new leather quiver for his arrows which had the name Touma going down the side as well as an image of an archer ready to shoot his arrow.
>From Shu he got two new video games, a CD, some brain buster puzzles (which Shin helped him pick out) and a new leather jacket.
>From Nasuti he got a beautifully framed print of the nighttime sky as it appeared on the day he was born.
>From Jun he got a sketch he had done of Touma laying in the grass and staring up into the sky, the faces of his four friends, Nasuti and Jun were in the sky looking down at him.
>From Shin and Lorelei he got a wooden chest with fine detailed carvings of the solar system on it, while the inside was lined with bark blue velour. The gold nameplate said ‘Touma’s Memory Chest’. He could use it for his journals and such since it could be locked.
Touma sat there for a moment trying to compose himself, tears glazing his eyes over. They do care. I’ve never really been alone after all. I just wish I could have the one thing I desire most, the one person who holds my heart captive.
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Seiji felt the emotions pouring forth from Touma through their link. Touma wasn’t good at controlling that when he was emotional and Seiji allowed the feelings to wash over him. To his surprise Seiji even found himself wiping tears from his own eyes.
Getting up, Seiji walked gracefully over to a table and picked up the gifts that he had gotten for Touma, he placed them in his hands, allowing his hands to cover Touma’s. Seiji leaned in a bit and whispered “Happy Birthday Touma” in a voice that made Touma’s skin tingle. For a moment Seiji held his position, long enough to take in the scent of Touma’s cologne. “You smell great.” He said it so only Touma could hear.
Seiji then backed away and took his seat once again, smiling triumphantly when he noticed the flushed look on his friend’s face. Seiji knew he was flirting with Touma, and each time he got a reaction he became more confident about what he was going to do that evening.
I just hope that I’ll get to experience more of you Touma. I want to see, feel and taste every inch of you, I want to know your body in the same way that you know the heavens. I have finally come to terms with my feelings for you and now I only want to make you happy.
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Touma sat there stunned, not sure just what to make of the whole situation. Was he flirting with me? Gods I hope so! Seiji had gotten so close that for a brief moment he thought Seiji was going to kiss him. His warm breath whooshing in his ear made him tingle all over, especially between his legs. If this is nothing more then my overactive imagination, plus the few beers I’ve had, who cares! It still was nice.
When Touma looked up and his eyes met Seiji’s he saw a spark in them that he had never seen before. Luckily he was holding Seiji’s gifts in his hands because he was so tempted to just grab the swordsman and kiss him. What a mistake that would have been Einstein! What is going on with him anyway?
Touma kept his eyes on Seiji as the swordsman slowly walked back to his seat. God he looks so damn sexy tonight. Does he know how well those black slacks hug his ass? Oh my god! Is he wearing... a thong? No way! That’s so unlike Seiji. Damn you! You tease! Jeez now I’ve got an erection, and with these tight jeans on no less! Thanks Seiji, I appreciate it! Some friend you are! Okay, if I keep these gifts on my lap long enough...
Touma snapped from his phase out when Shu shouted to him to go on and finish opening his gifts. Shu was dying to dive into the cake Shin had made for tonight. All Touma really wanted to do was to dive into Seiji. Hehe, guess those few beers have gone to my head. He thought.
With shaky hands Touma slowly opened the top gift which turned out to be a device Touma could put on his telescope, it would allow him to program it to follow any star or object he wanted as it crossed the sky.
The next gift was a book filled with star charts done throughout history. He had seen the book at the bookstore many times but never got it since it was a little pricey. Then he opened the last gift and found a new journal that had a night sky pattern embellished on the front. There was a small note attached to it that Touma read to himself. >To use for the many new memories you will experience. Starting with tonight. Given to my best friend, with Love from Seiji. <
Touma stared at the note feeling the tears welling in his eyes. When he looked over at Seiji he saw a smile play across his lips that he found to be utterly breathtaking. Touma thanked him and tucked the note into his shirt pocket. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. God I need another beer. He thought.
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The party moved on into the dinning room where Shin presented him with a cake. There were all sorts of celestial bodies on it and in one corner his kanji symbol of ‘Wisdom’. They all sang to him as Touma stood there blushing.
He could sense Seiji right behind him and even heard him sing. That really had shocked Touma, it was something he had never heard Seiji do, and what a voice the warrior of Courtesy had. He’s just full of surprises tonight!
Touma was prompted to make a wish, which he did reluctantly, then blew out the candles. Of course, Shu was in charge of getting the candles and not only were they trick ones, but they were shaped like boobs! Shu if you only knew how much I’d rather blow on something else. Touma laughed to himself at that.
“I hope your wish comes true.” Touma swung around to find himself looking into violet eyes that were sparkling more then ever. “If you want them badly enough, they can, you know... Come true.” Seiji smiled then walked over to speak to a few people he knew.
Touma stood there unable to move or even think. What’s going on with him? And he had the nerve to ask if I WAS DRUNK! He doesn’t know does he? I can’t ever remember Seiji being this... uhm... this... playful! Now I definitely need another beer, shoot I need the whole keg!
Shin carried the cake back into the kitchen and began serving it. Touma so wanted to talk to Seiji, to thank him for the gifts and try and see just what was going on with him. He was acting very strange tonight and that unnerved Touma. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he was flirting with me... Okay Touma, get a hold of yourself! Every time he made a move towards his roommate, someone else pulled him into another direction and Seiji would disappear from view.
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With the gifts and cake out of the way Seiji noticed the party was beginning to wind down, it was soon time for him to make his exit and set up phase two of his plan. He didn’t think he would ever forget the look on Touma’s face when he opened the journal and read the note.
Nor could he forget the almost shocked look when he had gotten as close as he had dared, to wish his friend a happy birthday. Seiji was actually enjoying his playful flirtation with Touma, something that he never really did with any of the girls he went out with.
God Touma do you know how much I want you? To have you look at me with passion filled eyes?
To know what it’s like having someone need you so completely? Could you still want me in that way or has my chance passed me by?
Seiji saw that Touma was engrossed in a conversation with two other people so he used that moment to slip quietly upstairs. He nodded to Shin whom he passed in the hallway, and Shin smiled. He knew Seiji was planning his own special surprise for Touma but he wasn’t told just what, though he was curious as hell.
Shin met Lorelei on the steps as he was going down and she was going up and he couldn’t resist grabbing her for a much-needed kiss. He was overjoyed that she was here and he knew he was falling in love with her.
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Before he knew it, Touma was saying good night to the last of the guests. Flopping down onto the sofa he picked up each gift to examine them once again. Reaching down, Touma picked up the journal Seiji had given him, he ran his fingers over the soft leather cover, studying the details of the embossing. It was truly a beautiful book and he knew he would treasure it always.
Picking up the book on Star Charts he sat back and began to look at it then he remembered the note that was still in his shirt pocket and pulled it out to read it once again.
Just what do you mean by ‘Starting with tonight?’ God Seiji how I wish I could just tell you what’s in my heart. I know people wouldn’t understand, that goes for our families as well, but I can’t help the way I feel. I have given up trying to fight it. Every time you’re near me my skin tingles. When I look into your eyes I get lost, but that’s okay because I’m lost on you. No matter what I do or how hard I try, you will never be far from my thoughts or my heart.
He was about to gather up his things, minus the two videotapes (he had given one to Ryo and one to Shu), and take them to his room, when Shin and Lorelei walked in with a bottle of champagne. Who was he to refuse, after all it was his birthday.
The three sat on the floor talking and when Touma and Shin blew up the doll, the howls really started. They decided to have some fun by dressing it up in one of Nasuti’s skimpy nightgowns, which Nasuti was more then happy to loan them. (It was worth it just to get a rise out of Ryo who was sleeping in his own room tonight)
Shin and Lorelei took it to Ryo’s room and placed it in the bed beside him while Nasuti shot off a couple of pictures. Touma stayed downstairs since he was afraid he’d laugh too loud and wake the warrior of fire up.
The grandfather clock began to strike midnight, which was Shin and Lorelei’s signal to allow Touma, upstairs. The three headed upstairs as Shin and Lorelei helped Touma with his gifts. Touma chuckled when he caught sight of Shin sneaking into Lorelei’s room.
“Too bad I don’t have Nasuti’s camera! Well at least they have each other. Me, well I guess my heart’s desire can never be realized. Seiji will never see me as anything more then his best friend. Someone else will get to kiss those lips. Someone else will have the pleasure of feeling his hands caress them. Someone else will know what it’s like to be made love to by him because I never will.
Touma was about to fall onto the bed for a good cry when he saw a single long stemmed rose along with a folded note card on his pillow. Picking it up he immediately recognized Seiji’s graceful handwriting. ‘Touma, to find your dreams you must follow the comet’s path. (Look in the hallway) Seiji’
Puzzled by the note, Touma stepped out into the hallway, which was dark now, and then gasped as he saw a glow in the dark comet streaking across the hallway ceiling. Its tail began at the door to his room and when he looked he saw that it ended at the doorway to he and Seiji’s room.
Touma walked down the hall and stopped in front of the door where he found another note with the same delicate writing.
‘Dreams and wishes made under the stars can come true if you want them badly enough. If you are ready to begin a new journey full of magical memories then please enter now. Seiji.’
Touma’s hands began to shake, his heart was beating so hard and loud he thought for sure that the whole house could hear it. His mind was racing with the many thoughts and questions he had. He took some time to calm his nerves, he had to or else he feared he would make a complete fool out of himself.
Does he... Could he... Would he...? Oh my God, maybe he wasn’t imaging it after all! Seiji WAS flirting with him tonight. Okay Touma, just stay calm, you could be wrong ya know.
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Seiji nervously paced around the room, fearful that Touma had decided not to play along. He knew Touma’s curiosity would get the better of him or else he gave up on him. Now Seiji was beginning to wonder if he should have just asked Touma to come to the room to talk or something.
That’s it I’ve blown it, he’s not coming and I’m the fool. No, I need to know, I need to know if what he wrote is true or not. Well Touma, if I can’t get you to come here on your own accord, I’ll just bring you here. Kicking and screaming if that’s what it takes. I spent too much time on this and you are going to see it if nothing else.
Seiji was about to open the door when he saw the doorknob turning, quickly he shut off the lights and stood so he could wind up behind the door.
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Slowly Touma opened the door, not sure about what he would find on the other side. The lights were out but the room had a soft glow to it. Then he realized why. “Oh my GOD!” Touma looked around, his heart was pounding harder and he could feel the tears ready to fall.
The ceiling to their room was literally covered in white twinkling lights, blue and green candles glowed from every available furniture top, and soft music filled the room as the scent of sandalwood filled his senses.
Stepping into the room all the way, Touma looked up at the ceiling as his tears fell; it was only then did he sense someone behind him as arms encircled his waist. Touma didn’t have to turn around to know who it was; he could tell it was Seiji. “Seiji I don’t underst... Aaaa.” Touma felt warm lips on his neck giving him soft kisses. Shitshitshitshitshit Seiji is kissing my neck! Oh God I’ve died and gone to heaven.
“So do you like it? Happy birthday Touma-chan.” Seiji’s voice seemed to purr as he placed his lips near Touma’s ear, almost laughing when he felt the little shiver Touma gave off.
“Seiji? I don’t understand.” Touma was confused and still too stunned to move. Having Seiji’s lips so close to his ear didn’t help either. The scene before him was more beautiful then anything he had ever experienced, but what got to him the most was that Seiji had done this.
“Shhh, my Touma. Listen to your heart as I have listened to mine.” Seiji’s voice was sweet and soft. “This is all for you koi.”
Touma felt his skin tingle as Seiji’s sweet breath caressed his ear and then it registered. Seiji called me ‘koi‘! Sure wish I would have brought a beer up, I think I’m about to need a drink.
Twisting so he could face the blond swordsman, Touma looked into his face, his eyes were the softest violet he had ever seen, and the look on his face caused Touma to choke back the tears.
Then Touma took a long look at Seiji who was dressed in a green silk kimono with gold lightening bolts adorning it. His eyes reflected the glow of the candles and Touma saw the tears on his cheeks. “Seiji? Are you saying what I think you‘re saying?” Oh PLEASE say it. If there was ever a time I could use a miracle... This would be it!
Even though Seiji had been behind Touma and really couldn’t see the reaction on the archer’s face, his body language spoke volumes. This is just the beginning Touma. God how good it feels to have my arms about you like this and the taste of your skin is simply delightful. Now I need to taste those lips, I have to know just how soft they truly are.
“What I’m saying is this.” Seiji placed his hands on either side of Touma’s head and before Touma could say any thing further Seiji captured his lips in a kiss that sent a shock wave of pleasure through every nerve in Touma’s body.
Yes! There truly is a God! He’s really kissing me! Touma was more then happy to respond to the kiss after all here was the man of his dreams, his true desire, kissing him. God it was better then he had ever imagined lips as soft as rose petals; breath as sweet as clover, Touma returned the kiss with as much passion as he was receiving.
The kiss seemed to go on forever as both men worked at getting the tilt of their heads just right, moaning as the yearning for each other took over, and instincts kicked in. All too soon, as far as they were concerned, the kiss ended. Touma and Seiji gazed into each other’s eyes, trying to catch their breath.
“Seiji... I... How... You... Why...? I thought you and...” Touma found himself stammering. Great, a 250 IQ and you can’t even ask an intelligent question you baka!
“Touma, I have had feelings for you for some time now, I just didn‘t know how to tell you. I was also ashamed, not of you, but that I was feeling this way for my best friend.” Seiji brushed his lips against Touma’s again. “I realized that I have been a fool for too long, but no more, this is who I am, and you are whom I want in my life.”
Seiji felt his heart racing, kissing Touma was like a breath of fresh air and now he knew he had to have it all. It was as though someone had opened his heart and freed it, so many emotions were streaming forth and it felt so good.
“You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined myself in your arms Seiji. I wanted to tell you so many times what was in my heart, but I feared rejection by you. I couldn‘t have lived with myself had that happened.” Touma looked to the floor only to have two fingers placed under his chin drawing his head back up as lips brushed his in a feather like kiss. “Mmmm” Touma moaned and laid his head on Seiji’s shoulder.
“I felt the same way, too afraid of losing your friendship. Touma I have a confession to make and I hope you won’t hate me for this.” Now Seiji was the one to look at the floor. “You see that night I came back from my date with Kelsey and I discovered you weren’t here, I found your journal out on the balcony.”
Touma‘s head shot up and his eyes widened as he looked at Seiji. “You read it!” Touma’s cheeks turned a bright red. Damn I am like so dead! “Seiji I can explain really, just don’t hate me okay?”
“Touma relax, I could never hate you I only read the page that it was open to. The one about your one wish for your birthday.” Seiji’s eyes met Touma’s. It had been a long time since Seiji felt this flustered about anything. “If I hadn’t I would have never known that you cared as much for me as I do for you. That journal of yours is what brought us together.” Seiji kissed him again.
“Touma, what I’m trying to say is... I think I’m falling in love with you.” Seiji’s eyes glassed over, hoping that he hadn’t moved too fast, but the words had been locked in his heart for so long that he needed to free them.
“Seiji?” Touma searched his eyes and sensed the sincerity of his words. That did it for the archer as he flung his arms around Seiji‘s neck. “Oh gods (a kiss on the forehead) that’s all (a kiss on the nose) I need (a kiss on the right cheek) to hear. Seiji I (a kiss on the left cheek) love you so much it (a kiss on the chin) hurts.” Touma could no longer hold back the emotions building inside him as his lips finally claimed Seiji’s.
Seiji moaned and his lips parted inviting Touma in. Then Seiji felt the warmth of Touma’s tongue enter into his mouth to explore, to feel and to taste. Seiji’s hands slid down along Touma’s side to grasp his hips, pulling him closer. Seiji could feel Touma’s desire growing within the confines of the denim material.
Touma finally broke the kiss, moaning as Seiji pushed his leg up against Touma’s heat. Reaching up to brush the hair from Seiji’s face so he could look into both eyes, Touma smiled. “I love you Seiji Date, you are the light that fills my soul and you are the joy that fills my heart.”
Seiji felt the tears slide down his cheeks as he looked into the eyes of love. Love that was for him and him alone. He finally knew that this was where he belonged, in the arms of the man who was his best friend, his confidant and soon to be lover.
“Touma, there’s one more gift, and it’s hanging in the bathroom, go check it out while I get things ready here.” Seiji kissed him. “I want you Touma-chan, but only if that’s what you want.”
“Gods Seiji, I want you too.” Touma pulled Seiji close and kissed him hard, his hips began grinding against Seiji and he could feel Seiji’s erection pulsating under his robe. “I’d better go check that gift out; besides, we kind of left the door opened.” Touma walked over and closed it then turned the lock. “Don’t need Nasuti having one of her Kodak moments.”
While Touma was in the bathroom Seiji quickly pulled the mattresses off both twin beds and pulled out the dark blue sating sheets he had bought. Fitting them over both mattresses to create one big bed. Seiji quickly changed the CD that was playing and grabbed a bottle of oil from his dresser and placed it on the floor.
Hearing the bathroom door open, Seiji turned as Touma walked out. Seiji’s breath caught in his throat. Touma looked absolutely stunning. The traditional robe suited him very well.
“Seiji it’s gorgeous, thank you.” Touma looked at the dark blue silk kimono that had gold stars covering it; a dark blue sash held the garment together.
“I cannot wait to see what the heavens have brought to me under that robe.” Seiji whispered as he pulled Touma into his arms to recapture the lips he was becoming addicted to.
“Seiji, you have made all my wishes come true, thank you.” Touma stroked Seiji’s cheek.
“I have only begun to make your wishes come true. We have a lifetime to make every one of our wishes come true that’s if you’ll have me.” Seiji nuzzled his face into Touma’s hair.
“Now that I’ve got you Seiji... I’m never letting go.” With that Touma claimed Seiji’s lips as they slowly lowered themselves down onto the mattress. Two hearts were now beating as one, two souls joined as two bodies united.
The End?
Well I hope that you liked it, and if you want you can go onto Chapter 3 which is nothing more then a shameless PWP. I decided to put the whole bedroom scene into one chapter so I could really make it juicy! ENJOY!