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Test Of The Hearts

By Wildefyre

*****I don’t own Yoroiden Samurai Troopers, so please don’t sue me-I’M BROKE! Yaoi/Adult Themes. Implications of Rape, strong language and sexual descriptions may be contained herein. *****

> A < & ( A ) = Are mental conversations.

************ = Is a change in the scene

/// ABC/// = Anything between these will be flashbacks.

Italics ‘or’ “Italics” = Dialogue to one’s self or thoughts

_______________________________________________________________________________________________   Chapter Five

Seiji’s Secret

 Touma, I’m so sorry. I wanted to feel in control and look what I did; I lost control yet again. I hurt the one person who meant the world to me. Why? Why did I have to do that? Seiji blinked the tears away that were blurring his vision, trying to keep his eyes and his mind on the road ahead of him.

Flashbacks of the despicable thing he had done to Touma haunted his mind and he could still hear the archer’s scream ringing through his soul. I only hope that someday you will forgive me Touma. Oh God why couldn’t I control it?

Tears once again clouded his eyes, wiping them with the back of his hand he turned onto the highway. He was heading towards Sendai, to home. What am I thinking? I can’t go home! I’ve brought too much shame to my family; I’ve brought shame and dishonor to them.

Seiji pulled the car off to the side of the road, he needed to think, and he needed to find a place to go to, somewhere safe. Rubbing his temples to stem the pain from the headache that was throbbing there he winced as it began to intensify. It was then he decided that there was one place he could go, a place that was filled with happier memories of days long since forgotten.

Pulling back onto the road he turned around and headed the other way. They’re out of town, which will buy me a few days at least.

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Seiji, please come back. I forgive you. Touma curled his body into a tighter ball; tears were streaming down over his cheeks as the pain of what had happened cursed through his mind and body. What happen Seiji? What made you hurt me like this? I only wanted to love you and be loved back. Why did you take so savagely something I would have given to you freely? Why?

Touma winced, he hurt in every place imaginable and he knew he was still bleeding as well. I have to get up; I have to go look for him. Touma tried to link with Seiji but it was of no use... Seiji still had him blocked out and for the first time since meeting up with all the guys, Touma was feeling so alone.

When he tried to sit up the pain shot through his abdomen like hot daggers, screaming he collapsed back onto the floor. Sobbing and clutching his stomach he tried to figure out what to do. I Need to get help, please give me the strength to reach out to someone. Touma closed his eyes and opened his mind, he concentrated with all his might and found Shin.

>> “Shin! Can you hear me?” <<

(“Touma? What’s wrong?” ) Shin could sense the urgency in Touma’s voice.

>> “Something has happened with Seiji, I need your help.” <<

(“Sure Touma, what happened?”) He wanted to ask but could tell by Touma’s voice that the archer was struggling to communicate through the link.

>> “I’ll explain it all when you get here. Uh Shin, you may want to leave Lors at home.” << Touma knew that Lorelei wouldn’t listen to Shin but he had to try. He didn’t want her upset; not in her current condition.

(“Touma, you know that as soon as she realizes that something is wrong with either you or Seiji she’s going to insist...”)

>> “I figured as much. She has to remain calm though. I couldn’t....” << Touma felt a dizzy spell hit and struggled to stay alert.

(“Touma? Touma!” ) Shin’s mental voice was frantic.

>> “Shin... Hurry... Losing blood... So dizzy...” << Touma lost consciousness and the link between the two was cut off.

Shin, who was quite worried now jumped out of bed and began to dress, hoping he wouldn’t wake Lorelei, Touma’s words bounced around in his head. He said something about ‘loss of blood’. Oh god please say that Seiji and Touma are okay.

Much to Shin’s dismay, Lorelei did indeed awaken and knew immediately by the look on her husband’s face that something terrible had happened. Shin did his best to explain while at the same time trying to keep her calm. Lorelei quickly dressed, bombarding Shin with questions and doing her best to remain calm so Shin would take her with.

Both raced to Touma and Seiji’s home, not sure about what they would find once they got there. Just in case, Shin sent out a mental message to Shu, who told him that he would meet the two there.

********************************************************************************

Turning off the main road and onto a private one Seiji rubbed at his eyes. Almost there. God why didn’t I listen to them? Why didn’t I just tell Touma everything? My pride wouldn’t allow me to, that’s why. Seiji was exhausted and no longer capable of coherent thoughts. His mind had gone numb a few miles back and all he knew and felt now was the ache that was piercing his heart, tearing it to shreds little by little.

I don’t deserve this life; I’ve brought shame to it. I just hope that Touma is okay. Then it hit him, what if he had been hurt too badly, sure he was alive Seiji had sensed that much, but he had seen the blood. God I took him so roughly, I should have made sure he was okay! Selfish me couldn’t do that, I ran like the coward I truly am! Please just let him be okay... He doesn’t deserve any of it; this is my burden to bear.

Pulling off onto a long driveway Seiji could see the cabins up ahead, his final destination was staring right at him. I’ll always love you Touma but you need to forget about me. I’m no longer worthy of your love.

Pulling his car into the woods so it couldn’t be seen Seiji stopped and got out. He could hear the forest calling to him, To Seiji it sounded like she was crying and he dropped to his knees. “I’ve even brought shame to you. I’m no longer fit to wear the Armor of Korin.”

Reaching into his pocket he withdrew his orb it glowed and pulsated in his palm. “All I can do now is give this back to you and ask that you find someone who is truly worthy of owning it.” With that Seiji threw the orb as hard as he could, watching it glow as it sailed through the trees. “Goodbye my friend.”

Getting up Seiji headed towards the cabins, stopping to look out over the lake, Seiji couldn’t help but remember all the good times he and the guys had had there.

/// “Hey Shin! If you stay in that water too much longer, you’ll wind up looking like a prune.” Touma looked up from his book and laughed heartily as Shin stuck his tongue out at him.

“Touma! Come on in, you can always read that later!” Ryo shouted out to him.

“Nah I’m happy right here. Besides, I don’t see Seiji in, he’s over there someplace meditating, bug him!” Shaking his head and once again settling back against the tree to finish his book. Touma never saw the figure sneak up on him until fingers tore the book from his hands. “Hey! I was...What the...”

“You look like you could use a cooling off Touma-chan.” It was Seiji’s voice.

“Uh Seiji what are you planning to do?” Touma tried to get to his feet but Seiji scooped him up and began carrying him to the lake’s edge. “Seiji! You wouldn’t dare!” Touma yelled trying his best to break from of the hold the blond had on him. “SEIJI!”

“Time for a swim love.” Laying a quick kiss on the archer’s lips, Seiji gave a heave, tossing Touma out and into the water. “Hey Touma! You’re all wet!” Seiji was laughing hysterically at Touma who was fully clothed and now floating in the water.

“One good turn deserves another!” The look on Seiji’s face was ever so priceless as Shu hoisted him up and threw him into the water right near Touma.

“Shuuuu!” Seiji yelled and before he could do anything further Touma was pouncing on him pulling both men under. The five men had spent the rest of the afternoon acting like normal people, enjoying the warm summer day, and each other’s company. ///

“Those days are gone, just memories of better times.” Seiji allowed the tears to fall freely, after all there was no one there to see them. Walking up to the cabin his hand slid along the top of the doorframe till he found what he was looking for. Nasuti always kept the spare key there; Seiji and Touma even did that at their house. That thought alone sent a wave of pain through his heart. Walking in he stopped as more memories flooded in...

/// “So why did you drag me in here?” Touma looked around the interior then back to Seiji.

“Because we haven’t had much time together lately, and I was dying to do this...” Pulling the archer to him he didn’t waste another minute as their lips met. Seiji’s hands rubbed the archer’s back sending a shiver down Touma’s spine. Seiji’s touch always did that to him, it was like little bolts of electricity surging through him waking every nerve along the way.

“Mmmm, we should sneak off more often.” Touma’s hands slid down his lover’s sides to rest on trimmed hips. “I really like seeing this side of you Seiji, thanks for trusting me enough to show it to me.”

“You bring out the best in me Touma, you make me laugh like no one else can and you make me feel things I never thought I could.” Seiji’s lips once again claimed Touma’s and a swipe of his tongue over his lover’s bottom lip allowed his tongue access as Touma’s lips parted. The need for air broke the kiss and Touma laid his head on Seiji’s shoulders.

“Seiji, why didn’t you tell me that you told your dad about us and he was not taking it very well.” Touma lifted his head to look into Seiji’s eyes.

“It’s no big deal Touma; I’ll handle this. I didn’t think telling you would matter.” Seiji walked over to the window. “I guess since we’re on the subject of secrets, you should know that I haven’t told my grandfather yet.”

“Seiji! It is a big deal, I thought we had something here...” Touma choked back the tears.

“We do Touma. I love you and that’s what matters.” Seiji reached out for his hands.

“Then why the secrets?” Tears slipped from Touma’s eyes. He placed his hands on either side of Seiji’s face and looked directly into his eyes. “Don’t you trust me Seiji? Secrets can destroy lives, they can ruin relationships, and they can break hearts...”

“Oh God Touma, I am so sorry, I guess I still have trouble with this whole communication thing, being more open and all. Please be patient with me? There‘s still a lot I need to learn.” He began to kiss away the tears. He never meant to hurt Touma like this, this was his problem not Touma’s but now he began to see that he was wrong, he should have been honest with Touma. He knew Touma needed to feel like a true couple and that meant being open with each other.

“Fine, but on one condition.” Touma’s voice was stern.

“What? I‘d do anything for you Touma, you know that.” Seiji asked and he nuzzled his face into Touma‘s hair.

“No more secrets! We should be honest with each other, and if our love is real it should be able to withstand anything.” Touma slid his arms around the swordsman’s neck. It never failed to amaze him how well their bodies seemed to fit, like two pieces of a whole being. “Please Seiji, no more secrets. Your problems are my problems. If I’m good enough to share your bed, I’m good enough to share in other parts of your life.”

“You’re right Touma and I’m sorry. I promise no more secrets.” They sealed their pact with a fiery kiss and slowly lowered to the floor. Breaking the kiss Seiji looked into the eyes of his friend and lover. “I want you Touma... I need you... I want to make love to you right here, right now.” Touma didn’t use words to respond, instead he pushed his hips up and pulled Seiji’s down as he grinded his erection against the blond letting him know how badly he need the swordsman as well. ///

“Well I certainly blew that, didn’t I?” Seiji leaned against the wall. “I kept secrets from him; I broke my promise to him. Touma was right, it does destroy lives, it does ruin relationships and it really does break hearts... Oh God what am I going to do, I’ve ruined it all...”

Wrapping his arms across his chest, Seiji slid down the wall. “Nooo, Oh God... Nooo. I messed up so badly... I just want to die...” Seiji cried harder then he ever had, his heart was breaking and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

********************************************************************************

“Touma? Touma where are you?” Shin stepped into the house slowly, listening for any noise, watching for the slightest of movements. “Lorelei, I want you to stay put while I check things out.” He instructed her.

“But...” She began to protest only to be cut off abruptly.

“NO BUTS! Stay put.” Shin turned to her, taking her face in his hands he kissed her. “I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or our baby. Please, for our child’s sake, stay here till I come back.” She nodded her head and stepped back; scared, something wasn’t right here and she was sure that either Seiji or Touma, or both, were hurt.

Shin began by searching the first floor, then the basement, finding nothing, he walked back into the foyer and motioned to Lorelei that he was going to check upstairs. Slowly he made his way through the rooms before he came to the master bedroom, pushing the door opened he could tell that there had been a struggle there.

Bedding was lying on the floor and the small table he had helped Touma put into the room was lying on its side. Shin knew that even though Touma was still a tad on the messy side, this room was always kept tidy, Seiji made sure of that.

~ Ooooo ~ The moan was so low Shin almost didn’t hear it. Looking into the master bath he found the source.

“Oh my God! Touma!” Shin was shocked to see Touma lying naked on the floor, drops of blood marked a path across the white tiles, smudges also covered the back of Touma’s legs and his rear end. Kneeling down beside him, Shin drew the archer’s body close to his chest. “Touma can you hear me? Touma!”

“Ha... Have to... find... Seiji. Have... to... tell... him... I love... him.” Touma tried to get up but collapsed right back into Shin’s lap. “I need to... I need to set things right.” He moaned softly.

“Shin? You in here? I heard you ye... OH MY GOD!” Lorelei stood at the bathroom door, she could only see part of Touma since Shin was shielding him. What got to her more was the blood splatters on the floor.

“Lorelei, hand me that robe and turn around for a minute.” Shin asked. She could see the fear in his eyes as she handed the robe over and then looked the other way.

“What happened here?” Lorelei asked, her heart was pounding and she felt like crying, but held strong for now. This was what she had feared, someone was hurt and it tore her apart. “Shin, where’s Seiji?”

“I don’t know. You can turn around now.” Shin had stood up and was now trying to help Touma sit on the bench that was in the bathroom. Immediately Lorelei walked over and sat by Touma, tears began to fall as she noticed the bruises on his cheek.

“I’ve got to draw a bath and clean him up; it’s the only way I can tell how bad his other injuries are.”

“Shin, I’m scared. He looks like he‘s been hurt pretty badly.” Lorelei started to cry. Shin leaned over and laid his head against her arm, rubbing her thigh.

“Shhhh It’s going to be okay. Stay strong sweetheart.” His voice was soft and comforting to her.

“Don’t cry... Lors. It’ll ... be... okay.” Touma opened his eyes and tried to smile. “Don’t cry... please?” He placed his head on her shoulder. Just then Shu came racing into the room and when he saw Touma, the blood as well as Lorelei crying he went over and knelt in front of them.

“Touma, who did this to you? I’ll kill them!” Shu slapped the floor causing Touma to jump and whimper just a bit.

“Shu, stop that! You’re scaring him!” Lorelei scolded him.

“I’m sorry. Touma please... Who did this?” Shu spoke calmly.

“Shu? Let’s worry about that later. Help me to clean him up, Lorelei you’ll have to leave babe, we’ll check his wounds as well.” Lorelei nodded, informing them that she’ll get some tea started in the meantime.

Shin and Shu finished cleaning up, Touma was now in fresh sweats and at least Shin was able to do enough with his limited abilities to stop the bleeding. He knew Touma should go to the hospital, but Touma wasn’t having any of that so they did what they could for him. They were going to put him to bed, but he insisted on going downstairs. “Stubborn as always Touma-san!” Shu had remarked.

Lorelei was walking into the living room with the tea when Shin and Shu brought Touma in. They could see the pain register on his face when Touma went to sit down. Shin and Shu couldn’t help but notice the damage done to him and they shivered to think just what had happened to him. Shin had a feeling they all ready knew what had happened and by whom and it made him sick to his stomach.

“Guys, I need to find Seiji. He must think I hate him.” His hands trembled as he sipped at the tea. Setting the cup down, he looked to the floor. “I have never seen him like that. Something had to have happened. It was as though he had snapped. He was a totally different person, so full of rage and hatred.”

“Touma, what exactly did he do to you?” Shin walked over and knelt in front of him. He could see Touma’s eyes tear up and tried to comfort him.

“I know he didn’t mean to hurt me... Seiji isn’t like that. Please don’t hate him for any of this.” Touma looked to his three friends, collecting his thoughts and taking a deep breath, he continued. “Seiji snapped... Next thing I knew he had me on the floor and... And he... He uhm... He was forcing himself on me.” Touma buried his face into his hands, too ashamed to look at them. His last words hung in the air before the three realized what he had said.

“What you mean is... he raped you!” Shu pounded his fist into the arm of the chair. He had allowed the thought to cross his mind but quickly dismissed it. Seiji and Touma were a couple; Seiji had no reason to rape Touma. “I’ll get that stuffy blond bastard for sure. How dare he hurt my friend like this!” Shu was beyond angry, he was enraged!

“No Shu! Please don’t hurt him! Please?” Touma looked up at him, his eyes pleading with Shu.

“And why not? Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t shove that sword of his up his ass!” Shu wanted more then anything to cry, but right now the anger was taking precedence over everything else. “What the hell I’ll shove your bow up his ass as well! That dirty rotten bastard!” His face burned red with his anger.

“Because I love him... and... I forgive him for what he‘s done. I love him with all my heart and soul Shu and if you hurt him then you hurt me as well.” Touma’s voice sounded so small, they could tell his heart was breaking. “I love him...”

“Awe jeez Touma! How can you say that after what he’s done to you?” Shu was now kneeling in front of the archer as well. He was trying his best to understand Touma’s reasoning and maybe had Seiji only hit Touma he may have, but Seiji had done far worse and for that Shu couldn’t see a clear enough reason to forgive.

“I love him Shu that’s the best reason I can give to you.” Touma reached out and hugged him, then turned to Shin. “I want to go up to Sendai.”

“What?” Shin looked at him, he was just a bit stunned, and then he realized why. “Do you think Seiji is headed there?”

“I really don’t know, but it’s the most likely choice he’d make.” Touma was going whether Shin or Shu would take him or not. He just hoped they would come along since he wasn’t sure about driving in the condition he was in nor how he would be coming face to face with Seiji, should he be there.

“Why don’t we just call there, it would be a lot faster?” Shin questioned him.

“No I don’t want them to try and cover anything up. I think they know more then they are saying.” Touma looked at them. “I want to confront them face to face.”

“If that’s what you want Touma, I’ll take you.” Shu got up and sat next to him. “Can I ask a favor though?”

“Sure buddy, what is it?” Touma looked at him, hoping he wasn’t going to hurl threats again.

“I really could use something to eat... Man I am starving!” Shu rubbed his stomach. Shin, Touma and Lorelei couldn’t help but laugh. “What? Can I help it if all this tension makes me hungry?” He looked at them.

“Looks like some things never change.” Touma laughed slightly and put his arms around both Shin and Shu and then looked over at Lorelei. “Come here mom-to-be.” Lorelei sat on Shin’s lap and the three wound up in a group hug.

Shin and Lorelei made a little something to eat for everyone and soon Shin, Shu and Touma were in Touma’s jeep ready to go.

“Call me when you get there, okay?” Lorelei looked at the three.

“We will, I promise.” Shin smiled, Shu and Touma turned their heads to give the two some privacy. “You take care of yourself and don’t overdo it.” Shin reached through the opened car window to kiss his wife.

Take it easy Touma, okay?” Lorelei grabbed his hand when he reached over Shin to her.

“I will Lors. I will also get Seiji back. I have to...” He went silent, the emptiness in his heart left him feeling so alone and detached from things around him. He needed to know why Seiji had gone off in a blind rage; answers were all he sought now.

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** “No Seiji! Don’t do this! Not like this! NOOOOO!” ** Seiji bolted straight up, soaked in sweat, his breathing coming in rapid pants as he looked around the darkened cabin. He began to tremble as images flooded his mind. Images of him raping the man he supposedly loved, the feel of Touma’s flesh tearing as he had violently taken him, and the look of fear that clouded over Touma’s dark blue eyes.

The worst part was the scream... Never had he heard anything so terrifying as that scream and forever would that sound remain with him. Slowly he got to his feet still trying to rid his mind of all that he saw, heard and felt.

“I know what I must do now. As long as I’m alive the nightmares will continue to haunt me.” Walking over to the kitchen area Seiji grabbed a knife from a drawer. Testing it on his arm he ran the blade over his light colored flesh, it wouldn’t disappoint him as the knife sliced into his skin and the blood oozed from the now opened wound. “This will do. Forgive me Touma. I know it’s the coward’s way out, but I have to end my pain.”

Jotting down a quick note to his family, the guys and a short letter to Touma, he picked up the knife again and headed back out, out to his forest and for all intent and purposes, his final resting place.

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“Touma! Touma wake up! We’re here.” Shin was reaching over the front seat shaking the blue haired archer.

“Lemme sleep jus five mur mints. S’kay?” He smacked his lips together and repositioned himself. Shin couldn’t help but chuckle at this. “Just like old times my friend.” Shin parked in front of the Date family Dojo that also served as their primary residence.

“Hey Touma, let’s go buddy.” Shu shook Touma and had to duck a swat directed at him. “Touma, this may have been fun a few years ago, but now’s not the time.” Shu gave him a few light pats to his arm.

“Wh... Where are we?” Touma opened his eyes and looked around. He could feel every ache and stiff muscle in his body and he winced.

“Take it easy, we’re right in front of the Dojo.” Shin was now standing outside the car to help Shu get Touma out of it. “We’ll help you, just move slowly.”

“He’s not here.” Touma said matter-of-factly as he stepped out of the car. He felt a lump rise in his throat, he had hoped that Seiji would have come here, but that wasn’t to be.

“Touma, how do you know?” Shu asked though he knew the truth as well.

“I can’t sense him that’s why.” Touma stood up straight and began to walk toward the apartment entrance. “I’m still going to get some answers. I need to know guys... I have to find out why.”

It was Seiji’s mom who answered the door, upon seeing Touma her face registered shock at his appearance. “Oh my God Touma! What happened?” She reached out to touch one of the bruises on his cheek and watched as he winced from the pain.

“May we come in, we need to talk?” Touma asked though he face held no emotion.

“Yes, please enter. Satsuki, go get your father... Don’t say anything to your grandfather though.” She instructed her youngest child. Shu, shin and Touma walked in, removed their shoes and then followed Mrs. Date into the living room.

“Thank you.” The three told her, accepting the tea she gave to them. Mr. Date walked in and when he saw Touma he knew something bad has happened. Shin, Shu and Touma greeted Mr. Date and the five adults sat down.

“I wish I didn’t have to come here, but I couldn’t see any other options.” Touma started out, breaking the uneasy silence that had surrounded them, his hands began to shake. “Seiji took off last night, something happened, and I was hoping that he might have come here.”

“He’s not here. What has happened Touma? Please tells us?” Mr. Date looked at him. “Why did he leave?”

“I’m not sure, but something inside of Seiji snapped! I have never seen him like that; he was a totally different person.” Touma felt the tears welling up in his eyes and took a few minutes to collect himself.

“What do you mean? What’s happened to my son?” Mrs. Date voice had all four men cringing just a bit. She was a very strong and powerful woman and when she got angry you didn’t want to be in her path.

“That’s what I intend to find out.” Touma looked her right in the eye and then turned to her husband.

“What exactly was the purpose of your visit yesterday? After you left Seiji stayed locked away in his room all day and then last night he... He uhm... He just wasn‘t himself.” Anger was starting to show on Touma’s face and Mr. Date tried to calm him down.

“Touma it was official police business. Seiji didn’t tell you anything?” He was puzzled himself now. Seiji was acting a little more emotional then what he was use to, but he just figured it was due to seeing those pictures.

“He told me nothing! Listen I get the feeling you know more then you’re letting on and I think it’s high time we cut the crap and start telling the truth.” Touma raised his voiced just enough to get their attention and to let him know that he was serious.

“All right, calm down Touma. I had some photos I needed Seiji to look at. He positively identified them as four of the men who beat and r... who beat and left him for dead.” Mr. Date swallowed hard, he had almost slipped and told Touma about the rape. He almost wished he had, then he could lift the weight off his shoulders, but he made a promise to his son and he intended to keep it.

“You mean you arrested four of the men?” It was Shin who spoke up now. “Seiji or you should have said something to Touma about this. He does have a stake in all of this as well you know.”

“That’s just it, the four men turned up dead. Two of them were found in the same area that Seiji was found in, the other two in a vacant warehouse. I don’t know why Seiji never said anything, and I couldn’t say anything.” Mr. Date explained.

“And why not?” Shu who had been doing his best not to go ballistic on Seiji’s parents, finally had to put his two cents in. “Seems to me that you should have felt Touma had a right to know.”

“Seiji asked that I not say anything, my hands were tied.” He looked at Touma. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I don’t get it, if anything Seiji should have been slightly relieved to know that four of his assailants were no longer a threat, and since they’re dead he wouldn’t have to face them in a court. What set him off?” Touma had a feeling there was still more to this whole thing and so he pressed forward. “How was Seiji during all this? How did he react? How was he when you left? I want answers!”

“Seiji got sick when he saw the pictures and he was... He was very upset, he feels he has dishonored us and has brought shame to himself and his family.” Mr. Date felt his heart sinking as he recalled the look his son had given him. “Damn I knew he should have told you everything right from the beginning but he was too ashamed of it.” Mr. Date put his hands over his face.

“Wh... What? Why on earth would he feel that way? WHY?” Touma was determined to get all the secrets out. He was a little shocked that Seiji would have kept anything from him, after all they had promised to be honest with each other.

“It’s because of what happened to him.” Mrs. Date cut in. Up until now, she had allowed her husband to handle this, but she knew Touma had every right to know just what had happened.

“Because of what... I don’t get it, why would this have made Seiji do what he did. No I can’t accept that, a beating, as violent as it were, should not have had him acting the way he did. There was no reason for him to r....” He couldn’t finish. Tears began to stream down Touma’s cheeks; the emotions he had been trying desperately to hold inside now came rushing out.

Seiji’s mother got up, walked over and sat next to him. She put a hand and his shoulder and lightly rubbed it. “Come now Touma, we’ll find Seiji. I’m sure he just needed some time to himself to sort through everything.”

“I want to know what you meant by, ‘Seiji should have told me everything’ and no more beating around the bush. I want to truth and I want it now!” Touma looked to Mr. Date for answers.

“I’m sorry Touma, but I can’t. I made a promise to my son and I have an obligation to honor that.” He told Touma then looked away. “If you are going discover those secrets, they’ll have to come from Seiji’s lips, not mine.”

“You don’t get it do you? Seiji took off last night in a blind rage. I don’t know what the hell is going on, all I do know is something is wrong and because of it Seiji went nuts and I was on the receiving end! What the HELL happened?” Touma was seething now, his body ached and he could feel his head pounding. Worst of all he was here arguing with these people when he should be out looking for Seiji.

“Please, if you know something, anything that may help us figure out what happened in Seiji’s mind, please tell us. We want to help Seiji but we can‘t do that if we don‘t know what it is we‘re dealing with.” Shin pleaded with them.

“All right, I will shoulder my son’s wrath; you boys have a right to know.” Mrs. Date stated. She saw her husband about to protest and hushed him by placing her hand in the air. Taking both of Touma’s hands in hers she waited until their eyes locked. “Touma, Seiji wasn’t just beaten that night, something else happened. Seiji was afraid to let anyone know about this.” She swallowed hard.

“What? Please I need to know.” He looked so sad and broken as he pleaded for an answer. Mrs. Date’s heart went out to him immediately. Touma was trembling he knew that whatever she had to say would not be good and he was scared.

“Touma, this won’t be easy for you to hear, and I’m sorry but it’s about time that Seiji’s secret comes out.” She took in a deep breath of air and then slowly let it out before continuing. “Touma... Seiji was (She was breaking down), those five men they uhm (Tears slid down her cheeks), they had...” She wasn’t sure she could do this.

“They... those five men raped Seiji.” She was shaking and the tears came fast and furious. “It was an extremely violent act as well; his injuries were more extensive then you knew about.” No longer was she able to keep her composure so she bent over into her hands and cried.

Touma, Shin and Shu sat there completely stunned, their voices gone and their minds numbed by what they had just heard. Touma took a few minutes to allow the information to sink in before he too lost control and began crying.

“Oh God no! Seiji! I’m so sorry! Now I know why you did this to me, oh GOD! OH GOD!” His whole body shook as he was wracked with sob after sob. “Why didn’t you tell me Seiji? You didn’t have to shoulder that all by yourself... You should have told me.”

“Touma, we’re sorry. It’s just that Seiji had specifically stated that only his family was to know about it.” Mr. Date told him.

He was trying to comfort his wife whom, after all this time, was finally allowing all those emotions to spill out. She had cried once at the hospital but after that she put the darn wall back up. Seiji is so much like her; he probably did the same with Touma.

Touma looked up at him, his words finally reaching his brain. “NOW wait a minute! What the HELL AM I? HUH? Damn it! I’ve spent the past 8 years with Seiji! I love him... I love him more then life itself, he’s my friend, my companion and my lover and now you are trying to tell me that even with all that Seiji has never considered me family!” Touma was standing now, he felt as though someone had just punched him in the stomach. “I once told Seiji how I felt about secrets... I really thought he understood... I thought....” Touma’s tears blurred his vision and he swiped at them with his fingers.

“Touma, please try and understand... It was Seiji‘s choice, I only agreed to it after he promised me that he would get help to deal with the rape.” Mrs. date was saying.

“Understand? UNDERSTAND? It’s obvious he wasn’t going for any therapy. OH GOD! If I had been told I could have helped him!” Touma was crying harder as he paced back and forth. To know Seiji had deceived him was one thing, to know he never truly considered Touma family was more then the archer could handle.

“Touma you need to calm down. You know that I could only do a partial healing, and you may have other internal injuries.” Shin walked over to try and calm him only to have Touma shove him out of the way. “Touma?”

Turning back to Seiji’s parents he stared at them, midnight blue eyes grew darker. “Do you want to know what your little secret caused? DO YOU?” He got closer. “It caused Seiji to shoulder all that horror by himself, it caused him to eventually exploded, it caused him to turn on me and in order for him to regain some of that control he lost... it caused him to... RAPE ME!” Touma’s face with seething with anger. “HE RAPED ME!”

Touma watched as Seiji’s mother and father looked at him in shock. “You of all people should know how Seiji needs to feel that control in his life, you‘ve been shoving that down his throat all his life. Force feeding him this bullshit about being honorable and big boys don’t cry. Telling him to hide his emotions. Well I got raped so he could get that back. HE RAPED ME SO HE COULD BE IN CONTROL AGAIN! You happy now?” Touma was beyond hurt now; his anger was at a point where he could possibly hurt someone.

“ENOUGH!” Came a voice from the doorway that caused everyone to freeze in his or her places.

“Father!” Mrs. Date stood to face her father.

“Sensei Date!!!” The other’s stood and bowed.

“Hashiba-san I want you to explain to me just what is going on here and then I want you to get out of my home and never come back here again.” He walked over and stood in front of Touma.

“Father, please... Touma is Seiji’s friend.” Mrs. Date looked at both, unsure about what to do.

“Stay out of this. This is now between Hashiba-san and I.” He waved her off. “I want all of you to sit down and be quiet... You, stay put.” He told Touma. “This is no friend of Seiji’s. This BOY is nothing more then a weak crybaby.” He stared right into Touma’s eyes.

“Sensei Date, I apologize for raising my voice, but right now all I care about is finding Seiji and helping him get through all of this. Call me whatever you like but that won‘t change a thing. I am Seiji‘s friend and more!” He knew that once Seiji found out that his grandfather knew about the two of them he wouldn’t be pleased.

Seiji would be even more angry about how his grandfather found out, but what’s done is done and Touma really didn’t care at the moment. They were wasting valuable time on petty arguments that were getting them no where.

“Listen young man you have some nerve coming in here to our home no less and accusing my grandson of raping you, and then you have the nerve to turn around and tell us that the two of you have been LOVERS for a number of years.” He glared at Touma. “Is this correct? WELL?”

“Sensei Date, I’m sorry, I know this must be quite a shock to you and I’m sorry you had to find out in this way, but you should know the truth. Yes, Seiji and I are lovers; we’ve been a couple for 8 years. I want you to know that what Seiji and I have goes beyond anything physical, we love each other very much.” Touma refused to back down; he had to go toe to toe with him or else Seiji’s grandfather would gain the upper hand.

“How dare you!” His hand came down across Touma’s cheek leaving a red welt mark in the shape of his hand, but still Touma remained firm. Shin and Shu stood to come to Touma’s aid, only to be stared down by the elder Date. “SIT DOWN BOTH OF YOU or you get the same!”

“Do as he says guys, I’m okay. I can handle this on my own.” Touma told them.

“You think that just because love is involved, that it makes it right? You‘re the reason my grandson has turned his back on family duty. You’re the reason he took off to be a Doctor! So YOU must be the reason he’s engaged in this sick relationship.” He was getting quite angry now.

“Love has a lot to do with it! As far as it being sick, well that’s the opinions of narrow-minded people. Sick is not how Seiji and I see what we have. It was LOVE that brought Seiji and I together, it was LOVE that got the two of us through many ups and downs, it is LOVE that has kept us together and it’s LOVE that will allow me to forgive Seiji for what he did to me.” Touma’s face flushed red with rage.

Touma could feel the anger building inside of him now. “Yes you could say Seiji raped me, he snapped... he was trying to keep way too much bottled up... he exploded. It’s because of your damn secrets that this happened. So deal with it okay! You‘re the reason Seiji did what he did, you and your damn ways of dealing with things!” Touma was practically in his face and Shu got up to keep a fight from breaking out.

“I didn’t tell you to get up! SIT DOWN!” Sensei Date instructed him and Shu waited till Touma nodded his head before backing off.

“You want to talk about secrets...! What about the one you and my grandson have been keeping huh? What about that? Answer me! What about that one?” He struck Touma again, this time Touma flew back and onto the ground. He couldn’t stop himself from crying out; the pain in his rear end was just too much.

It hit him then, the day they had brought Seiji home, Shu dropping him hard onto the sofa...Oh my God Seiji, this is what you went through... I’m so sorry, so very sorry. Touma could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. Slowly getting to his feet he turned to look at Seiji’s grandfather. “I’m sorry that you weren’t told about us, but Seiji already felt bad about going against tradition to become a Doctor, he knew how much you disapproved of it. I wanted him to tell you. I don’t like keeping secrets and Seiji was well aware of that!”

“He knew you wanted him to forgo school and take over the Dojo, and he had to deal with the fact that he wasn’t fulfilling his duty by taking a wife and producing an heir.” Touma didn’t even try to wipe away the tears; he just allowed them to fall now. “All I can say is Seiji and I fell in love, we didn’t plan to... it just happened. I will say that we did our best to deny our feelings, and we spent a lot of time agonizing over it all. We even split up several times over his fear of disappointing his family.”

“Seiji has dishonored this family by not being truthful with us... I have the right to disown him!” The elder Date spoke; he crossed his arms and stared straight through Touma.

“Have you even bothered to tune into your grandson? Have you?” Touma couldn’t help himself, his voice cracked, Seiji would be devastated if his family disowned him. It was one of Seiji’s greatest fears, the very reason he hadn’t told his grandfather about the two of them. “Seiji is a damn good Doctor, I’m proud of him and what he has accomplished.”

“I was there for him while he went through med school... I was there on those nights when he would come home from the Dojo after having spent the whole day in classes, and then face the fact that he had a load of studying to do only to have exhaustion cause him to collapse.” Touma paused to collect himself.

“Where were you on the day he graduated? WELL? You couldn’t take the time to show up, all because you didn’t want him becoming a Doctor in the first place. Did you know that he cried himself to sleep that night? I knew! That’s because I was there for him. I held him... I held onto him for dear life as his body shook and tears soaked his face. I kept telling him how much I loved him and how I would always be there to support him.” Touma’s body began to tremble, he could feel pain shooting through his abdomen and he had to take a few quick breaths to keep himself from passing out.

“I told him how I would always be proud of him no matter what he did in his life. Something none of you had the balls to do!” He stared each of them down. Touma’s composure finally gave out and he collapsed to his knees. “I believed in him because I love him! CAN ANY OF YOU SAY THAT?”

“Touma!” Shin yelled and was about to go to him but Touma waved him off.

“There were other nights when he cried because he knew he was disappointing you. His family means a lot to him. Seiji knows that I love him enough to give him up should he ever decide he needs to honor his family and tradition. I’m willing to do that even if it does break my heart to pieces. THAT Sir is what LOVE really is!” Touma sat back on his feet, placed his hands over his face and cried harder then he ever had in his entire life. He was exhausted and in pain, but nothing he felt could match the pain that was shooting through his heart at that very moment.

“I’m telling you this right now Hashiba-san, we are going to find my grandson and he is indeed going to honor his family and the commitment he has to the Dojo and us. In light of all of this Seiji-san has got to prove his worthiness to me and to this family. Unless Seiji-san complies I will disown him and I don’t think you want that Hashiba-san, so it’s best that you let go now! Time for you to prove what you just said. It‘s time to give him up!” With that the elder Date turned his back on them all.

Touma remained on the floor; it felt as though someone had knocked the breath out of him. He knew that if Seiji was given those options he would feel compelled to honor his family, it was too much to deal with right now and Touma’s mind began to shut down.

“Listen I can’t sit here any longer and not say anything...” Shin finally stood up. “We seemed to be forgetting that Seiji is out there somewhere and he’s not exactly thinking with a clear mind. He’s probably distraught over what he did to Touma, who knows what he may do to himself.” Shin was trying his best not to cry. The things Touma talked about had really gotten to him, none of them fully knew just what Seiji and Touma had gone through to be together. He was finally starting to see just how strong a love the two men had for each other, those obstacles would have brought most to their knees, but through it all Seiji and Touma had remained true to their hearts.

“Shin’s right, we need to find Seiji. He’s the number one priority right now.” Shu echoed as he helped Touma to his feet. “We need to figure out where he may have gone.”

“We’ll handle finding my grandson, I think it’s best that all of you go home and leave us to take care of our own.” Seiji’s grandfather gave them one last look before walking out. “I don’t want to see you here again Hashiba-san, leave my grandson alone!”

Touma stood there dumb founded, his heart was being crushed little by little, he knew he needed to find Seiji and explain it all before his family did. He gave Seiji’s parents one last look. “I’m...Please...Seiji...” He couldn’t think straight. His mind was numbed by everything that had transpired.

“Give him time Touma, he may come around yet, this has been quite a shock to him.” Mrs. date walked over and hugged him.

“Just in case I don’t get to see Seiji... please tell... Please tell him that I love him and that I will always keep him in my heart.” Touma hung his head down and walked out, his tears stung and blurred his eyes. He feared that this could very well spell the end of his relationship with Seiji and he wasn’t so sure he could be strong enough to handle it. Where are you Seiji?

The drive back was mainly spent in silence; Touma kept his head turned to the window not really seeing any of the scenery as they passed by it. His thoughts were on Seiji, he missed him, and now armed with the knowledge of what really happened to him, all Touma wanted to do was comfort his sunlit swordsman.

Seiji has been a part of his life for so long and now it looked as though half of his soul was about to die. That’s how it was with them, he and Seiji had formed such a tight bond that half of Touma’s very being was for Seiji. Seiji occupied half his heart and soul and that’s what made him a whole person.

“Touma, we’ll find him don’t worry. I’m sure that once everything has settled down this will all work out.” Shin said. He could sense Touma’s profound sadness and it was hurting him just as much.

Touma rested his cheek against the car window, the pain in his body was intense, and he felt every bump and pothole the car hit as it sped on down the freeway. Even though Seiji had cut off the link Touma still found himself concentrating in hopes of reaching the man he loved.

Oh god Seiji, how did you manage? How did you hold all that pain inside of you? The physical and the mental. Is that why you closed off our link? Please, wherever you are right now, don’t hate yourself for what has happen love. I love you and want to help you, please let me do that? My heart is breaking Seiji, and only you can put it back together. I will try and understand though, should you tell me we have reached the end. I just need to see you even if it’s for the last time...

Tears began streaming down the archer’s cheeks as he silently cried. He felt a hand lightly touch his and looked over at Shin. “Even if he has closed the link, I’m sure he senses your pain. You two have a bond that’s too strong to be broken so easily, he has to know that your heart is crying out for him.”

“I miss him so much... What if I have lost him for good? I don’t know if I can take that... I need him Shin... I need him in my life, even if it’s only as a friend.” Touma pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes trying to stem the flow of tears but it wasn’t doing any good. “Please Seiji... Don’t leave me all alone...”

“You’ll never be alone again Touma. Shu, Ryo and I promised you that in the hospital and we meant it. Lorelei, Nasuti, and Ming are here for you as well.” Shin choked back his own tears. This was his friend and he couldn’t stand seeing the pain that was now filling his midnight blue eyes.

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“What happened? Was Seiji there? Touma are you okay?” Lorelei was a torrent of questions as the three walked into the house. She had decided to stay at Touma and Seiji’s house just in case Seiji called or came back and now she found herself holding back tears that threatened to spill out.

The look in Touma’s eyes was so vacant, more so then that night at the hospital. “Shin?” She looked at her husband and was shocked to see the sorrow written on his face as well. He looked so much older then his age of 29 right now, the fatigue and heartache of seeing his friends going through so much turmoil was taking its toll.

“I’ll explain it all in a few; I just want to make sure Touma’s okay.” Shin pulled his wife into his arms. “I love you Lorelei... Promise me you and I will always be honest with each other? No secrets, okay?” His sea-green eyes filled with the tears he had been holding back since they had left Sendai.

“Yes... I promise. I love you too.” She kissed his tears as they slid down his cheeks. Her heart was in her throat now, whatever had happened in Sendai wasn’t good and that frightened her.

Walking into the living room they found Touma sitting at the window, he was clutching a sweatshirt that belonged to Seiji, holding it close to his chest as tears streaked over his cheeks and he softly cried.

“I bought this for him right after he graduated from med school. It was his favorite thing to wear when he was just kicking back.” Touma held the item out for them to see. On the front was a medical symbol and under that it said... DOCTORS HAVE LOTS OF PATIENCE (patients), Seiji’s name in Kanji was embroidered on the top left side with his armor symbol right under that.

“What am I going to do?” He looked to them with eyes that held more sadness then any of them had ever seen.

“You’re going to be strong Touma, and with the help of your friends we will find Seiji. You have to have faith.” Shu said, his own eyes glassed over with moisture. “If Seiji truly loves you, he’ll come back.” Walking over to Touma he wrapped his arms around the slender archer. “He has to... He has to.”

Touma buried his head into Shu’s chest and sobbed. His fingers tightly held on to the sweatshirt and he placed it against his cheek in much the same way a small child would with a favorite blanket.

No one spoke, the only sounds from the room were Touma’s sobs and the clock on the mantle that ticked away the seconds. Shin and Lorelei slowly walked over to Shu and Touma and three hearts reached out to do what they could to keep a fourth from shattering.

Later, after Shin and Shu had managed to convince Touma to get some rest before coming up with a plan to find Seiji, the three others sat in the kitchen as Shin filled Lorelei in on what had occurred in Sendai.

“Oh my God! Not Seiji! NO! Oh God Shin... Why? Why would someone hurt him like that?” Lorelei was numb from the revelation concerning Seiji and the rape. Holding on to Shin she cried into his shoulder. “It’s so unfair... Touma and Seiji have never done anything to harm anyone, they don’t deserve this... they don’t deserve this... they don’t...” Her body shook as she cried and shin tried his best to comfort her. Shu also sat next to her and rubbed her shoulder.

“Lorelei, you have to calm down.” Shu spoke softly. “You have to think of your baby now.” Shu looked to Shin who also had tears running down his face. They had been best friends for so many years and were even best men at each other’s weddings.

When Shin and Lorelei had tried to start a family it was music to Shu’s ears. Then the heartaches came, two pregnancies and two miscarriages left Lorelei unable to conceive naturally and so the couple had turned to other means and as each one failed it was Shu who kept the optimism going when everything seemed so bleak.

“Come on honey, let’s get you into bed, you need to rest.” Shin spoke softly to her as he pushed her waist long hair back over her shoulders. “Touma and Seiji will find their way back to each other, they have in the past and they will again.” Shin reminded her. I just hope they are strong enough, this is their toughest battle to date. He thought to himself.

“Hey while you’re doing that I’m going to call Ming and fill her in. Knowing her she’ll take SinJin to her parents and be here by tomorrow morning. We can use all the help we can get if we’re going to try and find Seiji.” Shu gave a half smile.

“I hope Touma won’t mind if I grab a shower, cause weee ewwww, I need it. Good thing I keep a spare change of clothes in my car because there is no way I could ever fit into Slim or Slender’s clothes... No matter how much I trim down.” Shu laughed and was glad to see Shin and Lorelei chuckle as well.

There hadn’t been a whole lot to smile about lately and that was hard on Shu, he was too much of a happy go lucky person and all this gloom was starting to get to him.

“Sure thing Shu, I’m sure Touma won’t mind.” Shin smiled and helped his wife to stand up. Shin shook his head as he recalled how Shu would tease Touma and Seiji by calling them by the nicknames Slim and Slender, with Touma being Slim and Seiji being Slender. If nothing else, the names fit the warriors of Sunlight and Sky! God too bad we can’t go back to those happier times right now.

/// He had just finished cleaning up from lunch and had gone into the laundry room to throw a load of linen in the washer when he heard the back door open. He knew it was Seiji who had gone out to meditate. Touma had been sitting in the kitchen still bleary eyed from his birthday party the night before.

Walking out of the laundry room he was greeted with an exquisite site... Seiji and Touma sitting on the stools by the counter, lips locked in a gentle kiss as Seiji’s hand caressed Touma’s thigh. Soft moans were coming from the two and he could tell it wouldn’t be long before the two left the kitchen for the comfort of their room.

Those two surely seemed to have a lot of stamina that was for sure. Shin had spent part of the night in Lorelei’s room, which happened to be next to Touma and Seiji’s room. Those two had definitely tried to make up for lost time and at some point Shin and Lorelei had to vacate her room due to the loud sounds coming from the new lover’s hide away.

He knew it was time to slip back into the laundry room when he saw Touma’s hand go to Seiji’s crotch and slowly stroke the bulge hidden under green sweatpants. Seiji and Touma broke the kiss and Seiji began kissing Touma’s neck. “Let’s finish this upstairs before anyone walks in on us.” He heard Seiji speak as Touma nodded silently. Too late, someone already has! He had chuckled to himself.

Hiding behind the door he peeked through the crack as Touma grabbed Seiji’s hand and the two men made a beeline up the stairs. No one saw hide nor hair of the two until suppertime. ///

Shin smiled at the memory as he pulled the covers up over his wife. “Sleep tight hon, I’ll be up in a little while. I want to check on Touma and then speak to Shu a bit.” He placed a kiss on her forehead before turning out the light and then slipping quietly out of the room.

Stopping off at Touma’s room, Shin slowly opened the door. Touma was curled up on the bed he and Seiji normally shared, tightly clutching Seiji’s pillow and the sweatshirt Touma had had earlier was draped over his pillow.

Shin’s heart took a nosedive when he heard Touma softly call out Seiji’s name in his sleep and then bury his face in Seiji’s pillow. “I’m so sorry Touma... I wish I could take your pain away, to somehow ease your heartache.

“There is something small I can do; though it’s just a temporary thing, but if it’ll help then it’s worth it.” Shin tip toed over to Touma and gently placed his hand on the archer’s head; a soft light-blue glow radiated around the two and Shin watched as Touma’s face relax into a more serene expression. “There you go my friend; at least for tonight your sleep will be peaceful.”

Quietly he turned to leave. “Shin?” He heard Touma speak weakly.

“Yeah Touma?” Shin turned to look at the archer. Touma’s midnight blue eyes were peeking up over the pillow he still held on to.

“Thanks.” Touma said and then closed his eyes. He had felt Shin mental touch, soothing him and pushing the stress and worry far into the deep recesses of his mind. It was still there but all Touma felt was exhaustion and a peaceful calm entering his soul, standing guard against the terrors that had been overwhelming him. “G’night.”

“Goodnight Touma.” Sleep well my friend. Shin walked into the hallway leaving the door slightly ajar just in case Touma cried out during the night.

Shu was just walking out of the bathroom, toweling his hair and still dripping from his shower when he saw Shin slip out of Touma’s room.

> “How is he?” < Shu spoke to him through the link just in case Touma was awake and listening.

(“As well as can be expected, all things considered. I made sure that at least for tonight he would sleep okay.” ) Shin yawned and stretched.

> “You should get some rest, between all the driving you did and healing Touma and now helping him again you have to be exhausted.” < Shu looked at his friend and tried to smile and then spoke openly. “You have a beautiful wife in that room... What the hell are you doing spending your time with an old fart like me?”

“Hey I’m older then you, and if you’re an old fart what does that make me?” Shin chuckled and walked over to put his arm around Shu’s shoulders.

“An even older fart?” Shu quirked an eyebrow and both men laughed happily.

“Lorelei is sound asleep, I made sure she would be... I had to do something she’s so worried about Seiji... and Touma.” Shin frowned. “I thought that maybe we can think about what to do next. I’ll even be nice and make you a snack if you’d like.”

“You got yourself a deal buddy. Just let me throw on some clothes.” Shu smiled and then his face turned serious. “Do you think Seiji would leave Touma if his family insisted he honor his duties to the Dojo and all?”

“I really don’t know Shu. For Touma’s sake, I hope it doesn’t come to that... He may say that he’ll let him go if that’s the case, but I doubt his heart could ever fully let go.” Shin looked to the floor really not wanting to even think about that just yet. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” Shin remarked sadly and headed down the hallway.

“Be there in two.” Shu replied feeling his friend’s anguish, which seemed to match his own.

 

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Shin finally crawled into bed around 4:00am having spent most of the night, with Shu’s help, calling hospitals, and local police to see if Seiji had turned up. They then set about calling morgues and funeral homes hoping with all their might that no one would say they had a body there matching Seiji’s description.

Shin was quite relieved when they came up empty handed and was actually feeling good until Shu remarked that it could very well be that Seiji’s body hasn’t been discovered yet.

“Shu don’t even think such a thing.” Shin had scolded him. Shu apologized and eventually both men knew they needed to get some rest. Shin had checked on Touma one last time before going to the room where Lorelei slept.

“Mmmm what time is it?” Lorelei asked sleepily as she felt Shins arms wrap around her and pull her closer to him.

“Four in the morning. Sorry to have awakened you, go back to sleep.” Shin whispered and kissed the back of her head. Lorelei turned so she was now facing him, putting her forehead up against his and softly running her hand up and down his side.

“I guess Seiji hasn’t been arrested, injured or... found dead.” She commented calmly. Her fingers delicately made little circles over Shin’s chest and she leaned in to plant small kisses over his bare shoulder.

“No; none of the above or at least not when we made the calls.” Shin closed his eyes enjoying the sensations Lorelei’s touch brought to him. “Uhm exactly what are you up to?” He giggled.

“Oh just this...” Lorelei laughed when a loud gasp shot out of her husband’s mouth. Claiming his lips in a sultry kiss she continued bringing him to life.

“Lorelei you are naughty!” Shin remarked breathlessly after breaking the kiss. He wasn’t prepared for his wife’s sudden urge and when she had reached between them to grasp his sex he couldn’t stop the sound that escaped his lips.

“So ya wanna play?” She kissed his neck knowing full well that it was quite sensitive. Lorelei smiled when Shin began to moan softly and then buck his hips to match her strokes, she let out a gasp herself when long slender fingers found their way between her legs to prod and caress her.

“Someone is a little aroused...” Shin smiled and pushed Lorelei onto her back as he began a trail of kisses down her body, teasing and pleasing whatever he could get his mouth on. Inserting fingers he slowly pumped his hand and used his tongue to pleasure her. He smiled as his wife’s moans filled the room and soon enough he was rewarded with her cries as she came.

Lorelei quickly nudged Shin up for a kiss and then set about bringing him as much pleasure. Taking him into her mouth she worked him, quickening the pace as he got closer to the edge until she felt his body stiffen and he shot his seed into her mouth, finishing up, Lorelei quickly scooted up and was met with a heated kiss.

“I love you Shin Mori, so very much.” She smiled. “I’ll just be glad when we can resume having full sex, not that this isn’t nice, but I need you inside of me. I need that so badly.” She laid her head on his shoulder.

“I Love you too Lorelei Mori.” Shin wrapped his arms around her holding her close to him. “Hey I want that as well babe, but we can’t take any risks, not at this juncture. Until then we’ll just have to be creative.”

> “Hey are you two through making noise?” < It was Shu communicating to Shin through their link.

(“Sh... Shu?” ) Shin asked a bit surprised to hear him in his mind. Lorelei saw the look on Shin’s face turn to shock and waited for him to fill her in. He mouthed the word SHU and pointed to his head. Lorelei just giggled and laid her head back down.

> “Yeah? Now are you two done or should I just forget about getting any sleep? I don’t know if you are aware of this, but the walls in this house are paper-thin.” < Shu laughed; he could almost see Shin blushing.

(“Uh, yeah, we’re finished... Oh jeez... Sorry about that Shu.” ) Shin pictured Shu lying there with a big old silly grin. (“You’re enjoying embarrassing me, aren’t you?”) Shin yawned.

> “You bet I am! I just wish Ming were here, cause I’m horny as hell thanks to you two!” < Shu laughed.

(“Yeah well that’s what hands are for, or did you forget that?”) Shin laughed and then winced when Lorelei lightly pinched a nipple as a way of telling him to be quiet since he was laughing a little too loud.

> “Very funny Mori-san, very funny! Hey bud, goodnight okay?” < Shu responded.

(“Goodnight Shu, sweet dreams.”) Shin said and then felt the link close but not before he sensed what Shu was about to do. He was still blushing when he allowed his mind to search out Touma whom he found to be sleeping peacefully. Content, Shin settled down and quickly drifted off to sleep.

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“I still think we should go right to Touma’s.” Ryo fidgeted in the passenger seat. He was concerned about his friend and really wanted to get the full details about what had happened since Shin’s call was a little vague.

“We will Ryo, but let’s go to the house first, unload our luggage and then we will head there.” Nasuti tried to keep her husband calm. Good thing she insisted on driving from the airport because the way Ryo was going they may not have made it home and if they did, she’d have a pile of speeding tickets. “You heard Shin, Touma was still sound asleep when we called from the airport.”

“I know but dammit Suti, I’m still not sure just what the hell happened! I mean the last time we talked to Touma he indicated that things were getting a little better. What the hell happened?” Ryo combed his fingers through his ebony mane, bright tiger blue eyes dulled somewhat as he recalled the feeling her had gotten the other night. “I still don’t know if that scream I heard was real or just a dream. God it seemed so real. I just hope that I never hear that again for as long as I live.”

Nasuti reached across the seat to lay her hand on Ryo’s thigh. She too recalled that night. The look in her husband’s eyes had terrified her. “Listen I know this is all so frustrating, but before we go to Touma’s, you need to calm down. Touma needs level headed people around him right now.” She saw his face relax somewhat. “ I’m certain that he must be going crazy by now, and the last thing he needs is one of us going off the deep end.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Ryo took her hand in his, bringing to his lips he kissed it. “I love you Suti, I always will.”

“I love you too Ry. Now why don’t we stop and pick up Byakuen or White Blaze, as he seems to have been dubbed by most of our friends.” She smiled at him and it never ceased to amaze her that one look from those blue eyes could get her heart pounding.

“That was Touma’s doing you know... He thought White Blaze sounded better, more like a tiger’s name.” Ryo laughed. “Then Lorelei started and before I knew it, my tiger practically had a new name. I think he even answers better to the new one.” Both enjoyed a hearty chuckle at that.

While Ryo went into the house of his friend to retrieve his tiger, Nasuti called Shin for the latest. What she was told had her in tears, her heart sunk to her toes and she knew she had to keep this newest information from Ryo for at least a little while. Knowing Ryo the way she did, she knew he would go ballistic and she wasn’t in any mood to deal with his anger at the moment.

Upon seeing Ryo she quickly pulled it together, something she had gotten use to doing during the war with the dynasty. It was a painfully quiet ride home though Ryo did ask her several times what was wrong. “Just tired that’s all” Was her reply, Ryo didn’t buy it of course, but he felt it was best to wait till she was ready to explain.

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“Home sweet home!” Ryo smiled and quickly got out of the car, Byakuen followed suit and began to sniff the air.

I just wish we were coming back to happier news...” Nasuti’s voice trailed off. Ryo walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled his chin into the crook of her neck.

“You seem distracted and I get this feeling it isn’t just about being tired. What’s wrong?” He kissed her neck. “Please Suti... What happened?” He spun her around so he could look her in the eyes.

“Ryo I need to tell you someth...” She didn’t get to finish because Byakuen let out a low growl and began acting strangely. “Ryo what’s with him?” She asked.

“I don’t know but I get the feeling he wants us to follow him.” Ryo watched as Byakuen took off towards the lake. “I’ll stay with him, you stay here.” Ryo instructed.

“No way, I’m going with and don’t even try and stop me Ryo Sanada!” Nasuti caught up to him and he knew it wasn’t a good idea to argue, Nasuti was much too stubborn of a person. Byakuen led them down past the cabins and into the woods. Ryo stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the dark green 4-Runner hidden there.

“That’s Seiji’s! I’m sure of it!” Ryo shouted and ran over to the car peering in he saw nothing out of the ordinary and then he saw Byakuen sniffing at something on the ground. “What is it boy?” Ryo looked at the dark spot and then noticed a trail of them leading into the woods.

“Ryo is that... blood?” Nasuti asked, her face tightened as she held back the nauseous feeling that overcame her. She watched as Byakuen went over to the other side of car and that’s when they noticed a lighter trail of drops.

“Looks like they lead into the woods and then back out again.” Ryo remarked and continued to follow the trail with his eyes. “They lead to the cabin... Come on!” His heart was racing now; it had to be Seiji and if so that meant he was hurt. Seiji please be okay man... What a thing to come home to.

Bolting through the cabin door the scene that lay out before them had both go pale. “OH MY GOD!” Nasuti cried out. The cabin was in shambles the sparsely furnished room was a total wreck broken dishes and furniture littered much of the available floor space.

“Shit! Oh God NO!” Ryo yelled as he carefully made his way through the mess towards what it was that held his attention. Glass crunched under his feet with each step and he could see drops of blood everywhere but it was the pool of it near the bathroom door that scared him the most.

“Nasuti stay here. I mean it!” She nodded her head and Ryo slowly opened the door, his voice caught in his throat when he saw him. “SEIJI!!” He finally screamed and had Nasuti right behind him now. The two couldn’t believe what they were seeing; it was nothing short of a nightmare.

“Oh dear God... No... Not Seiji.” Nasuti closed her eyes the image before her was just too horrific. The blond swordsman laid in the middle of the floor, his white shirt covered in blood, there was also blood matting in his hair and she could see a small pool of blood under him as well.

The next sound she heard was that of her husband as he lost his lunch, the stench of blood was more then his stomach could take. “Ryo... Is he... Is he d...d...dead?” Nasuti finally asked.

The shock of the whole scene finally wore off and Ryo raced over to the blond, as he reached down to feel for a pulse, he heard a soft moan. “He’s alive! Thank God, he’s alive!” Ryo had tears streaming down his cheeks.

Just then Seiji opened his eyes to see Nasuti and Ryo kneeling beside him. Shocked and confused he looked up at them then turned his gaze to the floor. “NO! NO! NO! NO! I should be dead! Dammit! Let me die! LET ME DIE!” He screamed and tore at the sleeves to his shirt. “How... How can this be?” He asked, baffled at the sight of his wrists.

“Seiji, calm down. What happened?” Nasuti spoke softly; she too looked at his wrists and saw the faint pink scars. “OH my God! Seiji you didn’t... Say you didn’t try and kill yourself!” Tears were flowing from her eyes as the sickening realization hit her.

“Leave me alone, go away! Let me die please?” Seiji was trembling, sweat poured from his brow wetting the dried blood as he tried to hide his face from them. “I have brought shame to everyone; I’ve dishonored my family and friends... I just wanted to end it all... I don’t understand it? How’d I get here?”

“Seiji please calm down, talk to us man. Why do you want to die?” Ryo asked his fear clearly etched upon his tanned features.

“I hurt Touma Ryo I hurt him really bad... I lost control... The one thing I was trying to get back caused me to hurt the one I loved.” His own voice cracked as he sobbed into the floor.

“Hey we know you hit him, but it’s okay... Touma forgives you.” Ryo tried to get the swordsman to look at him. “Shin told us that you snapped... please Seiji... it’s okay.”

“No Ryo... It’s not okay... I didn’t just hit Touma! What I did to him was far more violent, it was sick and I hate myself for it.” When Seiji finally looked up Ryo could see the large cut just above the hairline, which was probably the cause for the blood in the hair. “Ryo... I...” Seiji curled up tighter putting his head to his knees, hiding his face since he was too ashamed to look at his friend. “Ryo I raped Touma...” The words were so faint Ryo almost didn’t hear them.

“YOU WHAT?” Ryo felt anger touch his soul. “You raped him?”

“Yes.. I took him against his will... He begged me to stop, pleaded with me... I didn’t listen... I... Oh God he screamed... It hurt him... I hurt him...” Seiji’s whole body shook from the force of his sobs.

Ryo’s anger could no longer remain docked and in one swift move he grabbed the swordsman by the front of his shirt, stood the both of them up and then pushed Seiji’s body up against the wall. Seiji cried out as his back hit the wall and the pain seared through his spine.

“RYO NO!” Nasuti screamed and tried to free Seiji but Ryo just pushed her aside.

“YOU BASTARD! How could you?” Ryo pulled him away and slammed him back against the wall. “How could you do that to him? Tell me Seiji! How could you rape the man who loved you with every thing he had? HOW?” Ryo felt the flames of rage burning through his veins and in one swift move hurled Seiji up and through the bathroom doorway where Seiji landed in a heap amongst the broken glass and furniture.

“Oh God Ryo no! Stop it!” Nasuti cried out to him again.

“Go ahead Ryo, kill me... I deserve it! I’m tainted now... no longer am I worthy of your friendship or of Touma’s love.” Seiji looked up at him with lifeless eyes. The pain in his heart was too much for him and he curled into a ball to cry. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry... Oh God please...” He cried.

“You disgust me Seiji! Go ahead and die, we’ll all be better off not having to look at your pathetic face!” Ryo walked towards him and watched as Seiji flinched and tried to get away from him.

“No please, don’t hurt me... don’t hurt me anymore.” Seiji’s eyes showed a fear that Ryo had never seen before in the otherwise composed blond.

“Did Touma beg like that Seiji? Did that stop you from raping him? WELL DID IT?” Ryo was about to grab the swordsman’s arm when Byakuen who had clamped his massive jaws onto Ryo’s arm stopped him. “Huh?”

“Ryo stop it please!” Nasuti finally got a hold of Ryo’s arms and forced him to look at her. “Ryo he’s scared, he needs help... None of this is his fault.” Nasuti tried to get her husband to listen.

“What about Touma? What about his pain? Are you saying this is Touma’s fault? Well? Are you?” Ryo had never felt so much anger as he did at that very moment.

“It’s no one’s fault... Seiji was raped too.” Nasuti watched as the angered expression on Ryo’s face changed. “That night he just wasn’t savagely beaten Ryo, those five men also raped him.” She could sense the pain of her words hit Ryo as he fell forward into her arms. Nasuti pulled Ryo close to her and held him as he began to cry.

“Oh God Suti... I didn’t know... I didn’t know.” Ryo sobbed then looked over at Seiji who remained curled up, his body trembled as silent tears streaked down his face. “Seiji...” He pulled from Nasuti and slowly knelt by the blond.

“Don’t Ryo... Don’t taint yourself by touching me...” Seiji said hoarsely. “Please just let me die. You’re right I am disgusting, I’m so dirty now... so ashamed...”

“Seiji, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me?” He reached out and brushed the hair from Seiji’s face. “You’re not to blame Seiji... None of this is your fault. Understand?” Ryo sat down and pulled Seiji into his lap. Both men cried as Ryo rocked Seiji trying his best to comfort him despite the flicker of anger that still touched him.

“I feel so ashamed... I never meant to hurt Touma... I couldn’t stop it; it was like I had no control over anything that was happening. Oh God Ryo I can still hear him screaming. Make it stop please make it stop!” Seiji buried his face into Ryo’s chest and cried. Finally the sobs began to slow and Nasuti scooted closer to the two.

“Seiji why don’t we get you up to the house, we’ll work on getting you cleaned up and check out those wounds. Looks like Korin tried to heal most of them. At least the worst of them.” Nasuti said cringing as she saw the pink scars on his wrists.

“Impossible... I tossed my orb into the woods.” Seiji spoke weakly. He then felt a vibration in his pocket and reached into it, wincing as he did so. Pulling his hand out he opened it to show the green orb as it pulsated in his palm. “H...How?”

“Seiji you should know our armors will always protect us. You can’t just throw it away. It chose you... not the other way around.” Ryo commented as he continued the rocking motion.

“That means it brought me back here. The last thing I remember is going into the woods to die. I stumbled and fell down an embankment, I must have passed out after that.” Seiji looked at them puzzled.

“That explains the cut on your head. I assume the armor found you but could only heal you enough to keep you alive. Seiji if we had only known... If you had just come to one of us, we could have helped you.” Nasuti cried and leaned down to hug the swordsman. “You didn’t have to face this alone. We‘ve always been here for each other, you had to have known that.”

Seiji could only look at her, he knew she was right but years of training taught him to keep such pain under wraps. “Guys, I want to go home. Please help me to go home...” He began crying again.

“Sure Seiji. We’ll call Touma; he’s been worried about you.” Ryo smiled a bit and helped Seiji to sit up more while checking for any other visible wounds.

“No don’t call Touma... I want to go home to Sendai, to my family. It’s time for me to fulfill my duties as the Date heir.” His voice took on a tone void of all emotion and his body stiffened as he pulled away from Ryo and Nasuti. “I can’t love Touma anymore... Not after what I’ve done.”

“Seiji! You can’t mean that, Touma loves you...” Nasuti reached out to him only to be met with that steel gray stare he was famous for. “Let’s get you up to the house and then we can talk.” She said as she pulled back from him.

“NO! No more talking. I will go up to the house, but only to call my father and grandfather to come and get me.” Seiji tried to stand but his legs wouldn’t hold him and Ryo caught him as he began to fall.

“Easy there Seiji. Listen you can’t do this to Touma. It’ll break his heart.” Ryo looked at him but knew that once Seiji had his mind set, there was no convincing him otherwise.

“I have to Ryo... I have to.” He said then began to walk on his own towards the door. “Touma’s better off without me.”

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“What do we tell Touma?” Ryo asked as he stood by Seiji’s car, which Sensei Date was going to drive, while Seiji’s father had his own car. They had tried for several hours to convince Seiji into calling Touma, but he had his mind set and no amount of talking was going to change that.

“Tell him to forget me... Tell him it’s time we moved on... Tell him to stay away...” Seiji finally spoke, and then nodded to his grandfather who refused to look at him. This was part of Seiji’s test, he had the whole drive to Sendai to convince his grandfather he was ready to honor his family and fulfill the duties bestowed upon him.

“Seiji, you can’t mean this...” Nasuti started to say.

“You heard my grandson. I think that should be enough for you.” The elder Date motioned for them to step away from the car as he slowly pulled out with Seiji’s dad right behind them. Ryo and Nasuti watched as the cars disappeared down the driveway.

Seiji watched silently as they passed by the lake and the cabins, a lone tear slid down his cheek. “Goodbye sweet memories... Goodbye past... Goodbye Touma... You will never be far from my heart for I will always love you but we have to say goodbye.”

~*~*~*~*~ 

God I can be so evil!

Well what did you think? Was it any good? I know it may not have stood up to the last Chapter and for that I am truly sorry... I guess you want a Chapter six huh? Well just drop me a line and tell me so! Okay?

AUTHORS NOTES: I only ask that you have just a little patience for Chapter six. I am currently going through a family emergency and that could delay the next Chapter just a bit. I promise all of you that I will do my best to continue working on this story and I will NOT just abandon it. I’m here till the end and I hope that you are as well.