Please don’t sue me, I can’t afford it! I don’t own the Troopers (gosh darn it!) or anything affiliated with them. I also don’t own any lyrics that I may use in my chapters. They belong to the artists and/or people who wrote them, I’m just borrowing them. Warning: This story may contain any of the following... Yaoi/Adult Themes/ Rape/Strong Language/Sexual Descriptions/Angst/ Violence.

A big thank you goes out to Tenkus Girl who has been my sounding board for the past few chapters of this thing and also to Hiruma who allowed me to use her pen name as a character in this chapter. Thanks Girls you have been a big help and 2 of the greatest friends I could ever ask for!

Chapter 9

Black Eyes, Blue Tears (1)

 =======================================================================

Welcome to my nightmare

I think you’re gonna like it

I think you’re gonna feel

You belong

A Nocturnal vacation

Unnecessary sedation

You wanna feel at home

Cause you belong

Welcome to my nightmare

Welcome to my breakdown

I hope I didn’t scare you

That’s just the way we are

When we come down

We sweat &laugh & scream here

Cause life is just a dream here

You know inside you feel

Right at home..........

( [2] Alice Cooper)

“Seiji asked us to stay away from the house.” Ryo said to Mr. Date. He was afraid that their presence could set Touma off. They didn’t see the maniacal look that the archer’s eyes held... He did.

“I know what he said but he’s been in here too long, I have to find out what’s going on.” He answered. The house was just too quiet for his liking and so he slowly made his way through the living room. “Where was Touma when you ran out of the house?” He asked.

Ryo was about to open his mouth to answer when the sound of a single gunshot echoed through the house. Ryo went numb.

“Oh dear God... Seiji!” Seiji’s grandfather yelled as his eyes looked towards the stairs.

“TOUMA!” Ryo shouted and his body shook.

“Oh God please let them be okay.” Mr. Date said as the three men raced up the stairs unsure about what it was they would find.

********************************************************************************

The three men raced up the stairs with hearts pounding and into the bedroom they thought the gunshot had come from. The first thing they noticed were the bodies of Nick and Lance but Ryo already knew to look away as they entered.

“OH DEAR GOD! SEIJI!” Mr. Date shouted and immediately raced over to his son’s side, as the other two stood stunned by what they saw.

“TOUMA! NOOO!” Ryo felt his stomach churning and fought hard to will the sick feeling away. He watched as Mr. Date knelt down in front of the two.

“We... we were wrestling for the gun... It went off... OH GOD! He’s losing so much blood... The bullet tore into his abdomen...” Seiji sat on the floor with Touma cradled in his arms, rocking him as his tears fell down and over his cheeks. An emerald green towel was pressed against the archer’s abdomen and was quickly becoming soaked with Touma’s blood. “He’s dying... Oh God, he’s dying!”

Seiji laid his head down on top of Touma’s, tears dripped into blue hair as the room took on a nightmarish reality. The whole scene played over and over in Seiji’s mind and he shut his eyes tightly in hopes of blocking it all out.

// When he had seen that Touma was really going to go through with killing himself, He had lunged for Touma and got his hands on the gun to pull it down and away from the archer’s head. Touma tried to get the weapon back and while it was pushed up against his stomach the gun went off. He could still see the look of shock on Touma’s face, eyes wide with the realization of what had just happened. “Oh God you shot me.” Was all Touma said to him before slumping forward.

“No Touma, NO! It was an accident I swear to you... It was an accident!” His tears fell rapidly down his cheeks as he slowly lowered Touma to the floor. Checking immediately for a pulse he found it to be very weak. “Hang on Touma... Please hang on... Don’t you even think of dying on me.” He said as he examined the wound. The bullet had put a half dollar sized hole in Touma’s stomach and blood was pouring rapidly from the wound. He felt sick to his stomach but forced the contents back down as he searched for something to place over the wound.

Quickly he had reached for the towel and placed it on the wound, applying pressure with shaky hands in hopes of slowing the flow of blood. His whole mind was numb he couldn’t believe it. This shouldn‘t be happening, not to Touma, not to the man he loved. “Please Touma don’t die on me. I love you Touma... I love you so much and if you die now I’ll have nothing to live for... Nothing!” //

“Oh God Touma, don’t you dare die on me!” Seiji pressed his face into blue hair. “I can’t lose him dad. I just can’t.... I’m so scared.” Seiji cried into the hair he once loved to bury himself into. This was his Touma-san and he couldn’t let the gods take him away from him. “No you can’t have him... I need him, not you. Please give me another chance. I will make it up to him, I want to show him how much I care and love him. Please...? Please don’t let him die!” The flow of tears increased as his body trembled.

“Seiji you’re a doctor, I know that you can help him but you must calm down first.” Seiji’s dad spoke softly, the situation looked grim, and he silently said a prayer for Touma and then one for his son. It was obvious that the gun and the bullet were high caliber to have caused that much damage. Probably one of those new cop killer bullets. Mr. Date thought.

“I’ll go see if an ambulance is here yet; they had to have called for one by now.” Seiji’s grandfather said and raced out of the room.

“He’s too badly injured for an ambulance ride, the bullet must have hit a major artery, I need to do something now or we’ll lose him for sure. Ask them to bring up a surgical kit if they have one and whatever else they may have for me to use to operate.” Seiji said as he tried to pull himself together.

“I also need blood; type AB and I need it as soon as possible. They’ll have to radio into the hospital for it to be packaged up. Tell them to mention my name... Please hurry he’s already in shock.” Seiji’s violet eyes pleaded with him.

“We can use the helicopter to transport him Seiji.” His dad said.

“We don’t have time dad. It could be used to go pick of the blood though, I‘ll need several units... As much as they can spare and tell them to get more ready for when we come in.” Seiji instructed as he fought to clear his head and concentrate. Seiji’s dad spoke to an officer who ran out of the room and moments later they could hear the helicopter taking off.

“Dad get me another towel this one is soaked, please?” Mr. Date ran into the bathroom and grabbed several towels smelling them for any signs of flammables. He couldn’t remember the last time Seiji had called him dad; usually it was always ‘father’. I just hope Seiji is strong enough to handle this if Touma dies. He thought to himself as he handed Seiji a fresh towel and watched as his son discarded the old one.

“Ryo? Is there any room in this house that is partially clean?” Seiji asked, he could almost feel Touma’s life slipping away and he held Touma tightly to his body. “Hang in there koibito... Please just hang on.” He whispered and rubbed his cheek against Touma’s; it felt so cold... So deathly cold he thought.

“The spare room is fairly clean. They didn‘t seem to pour anything in there, maybe they ran out.” Ryo spoke up as knelt beside the two. “Seiji? He will be okay won’t he?” Ryo eyes were glassy from the tears that threatened to spill out. “Please say he’ll be okay dammit!” Ryo looked at Touma as he lay in Seiji’s arms; his face was white and blood oozed from his mouth and nose. He could hear Touma struggling to breathe and he reached out to touch his cheek.

This is not happening! No Touma, you can’t do this to us, please hang on. The first wave of tears flowed from Ryo’s eyes as he lightly stroked his friend’s cheek. “Fight it Touma! DAMN YOU! You can‘t die on us!” All Ryo could do was think about how they had all been through so much yet they always came out okay. Not even Arago could inflict this much damage on them and he was far mote powerful.

“I have to close off the bleeder or he will die Ryo.” Seiji said with a shaky voice. “Help me get him to the spare room.” Seiji looked up at Ryo who nodded and took Touma’s limp body from Seiji. “I just hope I can do this Ryo. He’s my world. You know that. If he dies...”

“Use Korin to heal him Seiji! Why haven‘t you thought of that all ready?” Ryo shouted at him as the blond stood up on shaky legs. Seiji took Touma into his arms and instructed Ryo to press on the towel hard as the two started to walk out of the room.

“I can’t Ryo... In my haste to get here I left my orb back in Sendai.” Seiji hung his head as more tears slipped from his eyes. Seiji wanted to kick himself for that mistake... now he could only hope that it wouldn’t cost Touma his life.

“Damn! How could you do something so stupid? How Seiji?” Ryo was becoming hysterical. “This isn’t fair; Touma has been through so much all ready... Why can’t he be shown some mercy? WHY?”

“Ryo!” Mr. Date grabbed the man by the shoulders. “Listen to me, we have to hope for the best. The one thing Seiji doesn’t need is you making him feel bad. He’s a surgeon remember, if anyone can save him, he can. He can’t do that if he’s all shaken up. Seiji is going to need all our help; now pull it together!” Ryo nodded and followed Seiji into the room. Two paramedics came in right behind them along with Seiji’s grandfather.

“Ryo strip off these sheets... HURRY!” Seiji instructed as he held Touma close to him. He was trying his hardest to hold onto the archer and take over keeping pressure on the wound as Ryo yanked the sheets off and tossed them out into the hallway. “Do you guys have any sterile sheets?” Seiji asked the paramedics.

“Right here.” One of them opened the bag and pulled out a disposable sheet to throw over the mattress. Once Seiji laid him down, he opened another and placed that one over Touma’s legs.

“What can we do to help Dr Date?” He asked him. The second paramedic began to hook Touma up to a portable heart monitor, and placed an oxygen mask on him to help with his breathing. He then started to check Touma’s vital signs.

“I need to stop the bleeding and I can’t wait till we get to a hospital to do so.” Seiji said as he watched the monitor. “His heart rate is slow, how’s his BP?” Seiji asked.

“Very low 50 over 40.” He said and went back to getting Touma prepped.

“Shit that’s too low even for him. His normal BP usually is around 90 over 70, he suffers from low Blood Pressure. Get an IV set up and be ready to hook up units of blood as soon as they are brought in. I need to get out of these clothes they have gasoline on them. Keep pressure on that wound, we have to try and stabilize him.” Seiji said as he grabbed a few things and headed towards the bathroom to change.

“I’ll go call his family. Do you have numbers for them Seiji?” His grandfather asked to which Seiji directed him to the Rolodex over by the computer. Seiji’s dad offered to call the other guys, knowing that they must be sensing all this due to their link with the armors.

Seiji nodded his appreciation and told his dad to call Shin first since he was probably feeling the emotions all ready what with being the most sensitive and with Lorelei just home from the hospital he didn’t want them worrying.

“Seiji what can I do to help?” Ryo asked him. “I feel so helpless just standing here.” Seiji looked into the red rimmed eyes of his friend.

“Pray Ryo.” He said quietly. “Pray with everything you have; to every God there is; that he makes it.” Seiji choked back the sob and then heard the sound he dreaded most... The long drawn out beep that signals to all who know; that the patient has just flat lined.

********************************************************************************

“NOOOO!” Shin cried out as he grabbed his head and doubled over from the pain.

“Shin! What is it? What’s wrong?” Lorelei asked and quickly raced to her husband’s side. “Shin please tell me what’s going on? Oh God what is happening?” The fear registered on her face as she looked at Shin who was in a good deal of pain.

“T... Touma! Oh God no! Can’t be! The armor link! OH GOD NO! Touma’s dead!” The pain Shin was feeling was the break in their link and it was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Lorelei knelt there stunned by what Shin had just screamed out, but slowly his words sunk in deeper and hit her like a ton of bricks.

“NO SHIN! NO! Say it isn’t so!” Lorelei was on her knees as tears streamed down her face. “Could you be mistaken?” She asked out of desperation though deep inside she knew she was only delaying the inevitable.

“I...I don’t know... I felt a full break in the link. His body is dead but I think his soul is still alive.” Shin responded. Shin made an effort to reach out to one of the guys.

[“Shin what’s going on? This pain is immense.”] Shu replied mentally. He was the least perceptive and thus felt the break but couldn’t be sure what it meant or why.

(Don’t you feel it? I think we lost Touma.”) Shin remarked then winced. His sobs could not only be heard but also felt by his best friend.

[“This can’t be, it just can’t.”] Shu was crying now as well. [“Dammit Shin! Touma can’t die, he c... can’t! TOUMA!!”] Shu collapsed to his knees as his wife tried desperately to comfort him.

(“I know Shu... Touma please don’t leave us.”) Shin Sat back on his legs, wrapping his arms around his wife and cried. (“I h... have t... to reach R... Ryo.”) He sobbed. Oh God this is too much. What happened?

“No not Touma! Please not Touma... Shin NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Lorelei punched at Shin’s chest before collapsing against him. “Touma please... Don’t leave us! Toushiba has a right to grow up and know the man he was named after. I can’t lose my best friend... I just can’t!” Lorelei was consumed with grief, her body shook as she cried and all Shin could do for her was to hold her. Please let this be a mistake. He prayed.

Shu as well cried out over his loss and Ming held onto him, rocking him as he sobbed into her neck. She rubbed his back as she too was overcome by her emotions. “Oh God Shu. Why Touma-san? Why?”

********************************************************************************

Touma stepped through the fog as he tried to see where he was. “Hey!” He called out, unsure about where he was or what had happened.

“Hashiba you need to fight harder.... It’s not your time.” A voice called out to him from within the fog.

“W... Who are you?” Touma squinted at the bright light that appeared before him. He felt so strange like he wasn’t whole and thought that maybe he was having some weird dream. “Show yourself!” He shouted at the light.

“You cannot die Touma. You must find it in yourself, the will to live.” Another voice remarked.

“W... What are you talking about? I’m not...” Touma’s eyes went wide as he started to recall a memory or was it part of a dream? “Oh God no! I... I’m dead?” Touma watched as two figures walked out of the light and he recognized them right away. “Ancient? Shuten?” He realized then what was happening.

“You still have time Touma but you must convince your heart that you wish to live. Your heart has given up... it is tired of pain and sorrow.” The Ancient told him.

“No this is all a dream right? You two are testing me... You’re in my dreams so does this mean we have a new enemy to fight?” Touma could tell by the looks of their faces that his hopes were nothing more then wishful thinking.

“Observe Touma-san.” The ancient waved his hand and a scene began to unfold using the fog as a movie screen.

********************************************************************************

“OH GOD!” Ryo grabbed his head and collapsed to his knees. Seiji would have done the same had it not been for his grandfather who had reached out to grab him.

“Touma NO!” Seiji pushed away from his grandfather and staggered over to the bed. Both paramedics were giving Touma CPR. “No Tou don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Seiji collapsed to his knees, as he cried. “You can’t die not yet. I haven’t had the chance to tell you how much I love you... Come back to me please?” Seiji whispered hoarsely into Touma’s hair.

The break in the link was even worse for him due to the past he shared with Touma. He felt as though his soul had been torn savagely from his body and he shook as he stroked his trembling fingers through the blue strands of hair.

“Ryo what’s causing you pain?” Mr. Date asked as he knelt beside the raven-haired man.

“The link... It’s been broken... The circle is incomplete now. Touma you can’t leave us like this... We all need you.” Ryo cried out. “Oh GOD Don’t leave us Touma, don’t!” Ryo’s tears slashed down onto the carpet as he rocked back and forth while clutching his head.

A defibrillator was set up and Seiji watched, his heart pounding madly within his chest and the sobs echoed in the room.

“Charging!” A paramedic yelled.

“Clear.” The other said and everyone took their hands off of Touma as the paddles touched the archer’s chest and electricity was sent surging into his heart causing him to jerk and spasm on the bed. “Nothing! Let’s go again.” They recharged and shocked him again. This time Ryo had to look away, it was just too much for him to witness.

“Damn! Nothing at all! AGAIN!” Still a third charge was sent surging through the archer and once more they got no response.

“No Touma... No! Don’t leave me alone koibito... I love you.” Seiji said as he rested his face against the cold flesh of his former lover. “I’ll help you... I’ll help you to come back to me.” He said softly.

They resumed CPR and after five minutes one of the paramedics announced, “It’s over... I’m sorry everyone.”

“NO!” Ryo cried out. He was surprised not to see Seiji yelling and looked up at the swordsman. Seiji was kneeling by the bed, his hands on Touma’s forehead and chest and his eyes were closed as he concentrated. Ryo saw Seiji’s kanji glowing and knew that Seiji was trying to heal Touma. “Seiji? He’s going to try and heal him!” Ryo commented.

“Ryo how can he heal him without his armor?” Seiji’s grandfather asked. He could see that Seiji was in a trance deeper then anything he had ever seen before.

“Seiji can use some of his own life energy to do minor healings, it zaps him though. This is too much though he’ll have to use quite a bit of energy for this to even remotely work.” Ryo said and watched as well. “If he doesn’t sever the link after awhile he could be drained of his own life force.”

“Are you telling me this healing could kill my son?” Mr. Date asked.

“Yes.” Was Ryo’s only reply as he called for his own armor and stood by Seiji in hopes of giving the blond some of Rekka‘s energy.

“Oh dear God.” Seiji’s dad said, his eyes filled with tears as Ryo‘s remark began to sink in.

********************************************************************************

“Is he crazy? I’m dead why is he still trying to heal me?” Touma asked as he watched the scene before him. Touma could feel the tears slipping down over his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away.

“Because he loves you Touma and he’s willing to sacrifice his own life in order to save yours.” Shuten remarked. “Ryo would do the same just as all the people who have been in your life. You need to see that you do have plenty to live for and so much to lose if you die.”

“No Seiji don’t, I’m not worth it.” Touma spoke sadly. He watched intently and could sense Seiji’s own body weakening. “Ancient break the link! Make him stop!”

“I cannot Touma. He is linked to you, heart and soul, only you can break the link now.” He told him. The bond you two shared is still so strong, I can’t break something that strong, only you have that ability.”

“How?” Touma was getting frantic. “Tell me how! I’ll do anything just tell me what I need to do!!”

“Search your heart Touma... The answers are there. Remember the love you once shared with him Touma.” Shuten said and before Touma could question them any further, they disappeared.

“Looks like I’m going back.” Touma said. “Uh how do I do that? Not like there’s directional signs or anything.” Touma closed his eyes and concentrated on being back in his body though he wasn’t thrilled about the pain he was about to experience. He started feeling himself being drawn back into the darkness.

********************************************************************************

“Look something is happening!” The elder Date commented. Touma’s Kanji began to flicker on and off like a light with a faulty switch. Both Date men along with the paramedics watched and held their breath for any signs of life coming from Touma. It was music to their ears when they began hearing small bleeps coming from the heart monitor. Mr. Date and his father-in-law could no longer hold back their emotions, too much had occurred for them to do so.

The paramedics rushed in to get Touma ready; they still had to stop the bleeding. Ryo was the first to break off and as Seiji slowly pulled away Touma’s blood pressure and heart rate began dropping.

“Shit we’re losing him again.” Ryo said and saw Seiji looking like he was about to collapse. “Seiji you have to stop, you’ll kill yourself if you keep this up.”

“Find Touma’s orb, we can call on Tenku he’ll give Touma the energy he needs.” Seiji said weakly. Seiji could feel himself growing weaker but he knew that if he gave up Touma wouldn’t survive and so he concentrated harder.

“Dammit Seiji! You’re all ready weak, even if we do find the orb and call on Tenku you’ll be in no shape to stop the damn bleeding.” Seiji’s dad said as he tried to stop his son from going back into his trance.

“M... Maybe Tenku will be able to hold off the bleeding till we can get him to the hospital.” Ryo said. He was scared now, not only could they lose Touma, but Seiji as well. “We have to find Touma’s orb.”

“What orb Ryo? What does it look like?” One of the paramedics asked. “If I can help find it I will.” He wasn’t sure about what was going on only that he was bearing witness to something beyond the mortal realm.

“Thanks. It’ll look like this, only dark blue in color. You‘ll see a Kanji on it as well, the kanji of wisdom.” Ryo said as he showed him his orb, which was pulsating. Not that what Touma did was very wise, but he wasn’t able to think clearly either. “Hey I may be able to use this to find the orb.” Ryo turned in different directions and watched as the orb pulsated; the faster it pulsed was the direction he went in.

“I’ll help Ryo.” Seiji’s grandfather said. “It sounds like the helicopter has returned why don’t you see if they have that blood?” The elder Date suggested to his son in law, and then headed off in Ryo’s direction.

Ryo’s orb took him into the room where the horrors played out. It made him sick to even be in that room. “Come on where are you?” Ryo got down on his knees and checked under the bed since his orb was directing him that way.

“Have you found it yet?” Seiji’s grandfather asked, startling Ryo just a bit.

“Oh God!” Ryo voice choked up and when he pulled back he held in his arms Touma’s cat Orion. “They killed him; Touma loved this cat... The bastards killed him!” Ryo’s eyes glazed over. “If he saw them do it... Oh God it had to tear him up! DAMN THEM! Touma....” Ryo couldn’t finish; the tears weren’t just falling from his eyes now, but from his heart as well.

“Give him to me I will make sure he receives a proper burial, you keep looking for the orb.” The older Date said and searched for something to wrap the cat in. He saw a dark blue towel lying next to the hamper and used that. He really did feel sorry for Touma, and now he knew just what the man meant to his grandson. I can’t stand in the way of true love. Seiji could never be happy in any traditional roles. I know that now.

“I found it! I found it!” Ryo got to his feet quickly and raced back to the other room. When he got there he saw them once again performing CPR on Touma. Seiji was lying on the floor looking pale and moaning as his father tended to him. “W... What happened?” Ryo asked shakily as his eyes darted from Touma to Seiji and back again.

“Seiji couldn’t hold on any longer, he’s too weak... God his pulse is almost nonexistent.” Mr. Date said as he placed the oxygen mask over Seiji’s face. “Did you find the orb?” He asked.

“Yes... I just hope this works.” Ryo said and put it on Touma’s chest. “Come on Tenku, Touma needs your help.” Ryo closed his eyes and called out for Tenku, the ancient and anyone else who would listen. The orb began glowing and in a flash the Tenku armor sat on the floor next to the bed that held its wearer.

“W... What? Why didn’t it appear on Touma? What’s going on?” Ryo looked stunned as he walked over to the armor.

“Ryo, bearer of Rekka, Touma has refused me... He will not allow me to adorn him, but I will do what I can in this form.” Tenku spoke in a calming voice.

“Why?” Ryo asked and saw the dark blue glow as it enveloped Touma and seemed to begin its work.

“Touma feels unworthy to wear the armor of Tenku and thus he has refused me. I also feel that since Touma has been filled with substances that could alter his mind and hence use me as a weapon of destruction, it’s best left as is for now.” Tenku explained and began glowing as well. “I see Seiji no Korin has no means of calling upon his armor... I can only spare enough energy to awaken him; the rest will have to be done by Rekka and his own will.”

“That’s all we need I’ll use Rekka to give him some more strength. Thank you Tenku.” Ryo walked over to Seiji and waited as a dark blue energy flowed across the room and into the swordsman. Ryo then called upon his armor and placed his hand on Seiji’s forehead the kanji of Courtesy began to glow and Seiji slowly opened his eyes.

“What happened?” Seiji asked as he tried to sit up only to have the room spin and he had to close his eyes for a moment.

“You collapsed Seiji; it was just too much for you to do alone. Luckily, we found Touma’s orb so Tenku is helping him right now.” Ryo said.

“Why isn’t the armor on him?” Seiji asked as Ryo, Mr. Date and Seiji’s grandfather helped him to his feet and he clung to his father for support while standing.

“Something about Touma not feeling like he’s worthy of wearing the armor, and Tenku feels that it could be risky giving Touma that power considering his state of mind.” Seiji’s dad explained.

“Is he still bleeding?” Seiji asked.

“Yes, he’s losing as much as we are putting in him.” The paramedics responded.

“I need to clamp off that bleeder.” Seiji commented then went to step forward and found his legs to be non-cooperative. “Damn I can’t let my body give out on me like this... Need to keep going... I have to help Touma. I need to be strong.” He closed his eyes for a minute and concentrated.

“Maybe we should just try and get him to the hospital.” His dad said and looked at the paramedics who shook their heads.

“No... Even with the aid of the chopper he won’t make it. I need to do this father.” Seiji looked into his father’s eyes. “I can’t let him die... I love him.”

********************************************************************************

“Shin can you sense anything?” Lorelei asked. She looked at her husband as he lay helplessly on the sofa. He was sweating and his face looked so pale. “Shhhh Toushiba it’s okay sweetie.” Lorelei said as she tried to calm her son. Just then Hana started crying and Lorelei sighed. “Sure wish I could have received an extra set of arms when you guys were born. They’d be really helpful right about now.” Just then the phone began to ring. “Grrr can it get any worse?” ** DING-DONG ** “Me and my big mouth!”

Lorelei answered the door to find Shu and Ming standing there with saddened looks and when they saw her with Toushiba in her arms, the phone ringing and heard Hana crying in the background Ming smiled a bit.

“Welcome to the club sugar. Need a hand?” She asked and took the baby from her arms. Lorelei sighed when she finally heard the machine pick up.

“You are a Godsend... Come in. Shu I’m worried about Shin. He collapsed earlier and well I know about Touma and all... And....” She couldn’t finish the tears began to fall once again.

“Where is he?” Shu asked and Lorelei pointed towards the living room. “Touma’s alive Lorelei, he’s alive, I felt the link reform earlier. I suspect Shin may be reaching out to Touma with his mind, to offer help.” Shu told her.

Lorelei‘s eyes filled with tears again. “Oh thank God... Touma!” Lorelei walked over to pick up Hana though her hands were shaking.

“You sit and Shu and I will take care of these two for a little while.” Ming said and set about mothering the two small babies along with Shu‘s help.

“Lors?” Shin called out and sat up. “It’s going to be okay now. Tenku is assisting them; I could sense his presence. I also touched Touma’s mind briefly; he’s okay now.” He said as he tried to pull himself out of the trance he had gone under.

“Shin! Oh God Shin you had me so scared.” Lorelei rushed over to him and Shin pulled her into his arms to hold her. “It’s going to be all right dear... Touma is going to live... He promised me he wants to live.” Shin kissed his wife’s cheek.

“Shin I’m confused. Are you saying that Touma was talking to you?” Shu asked as he gently rocked Hana.

“Listen I know it sounds weird, and I’m not even sure I can explain it, but I saw Touma and he was trying to go back, back to his body. I sort of helped him. That’s when he promised me that he would fight to stay alive. Then he was gone but I heard his voice and it was telling me to go home to my family.”

Shin reached out for his daughter and Shu placed her in his arms. “How’s my Hana? You’re daddy’s little girl, aren’t you?” He softly cooed to her and she stopped crying.

“Well she’ll have him wrapped around her little finger before long.” Ming commented as she watched Shin touch the tip of his nose to Hana’s.

“She already does.” Lorelei laughed and leaned into kiss her baby then Shin. “Come here Toushiba.” Ming handed Lorelei her son and stood back to be wrapped in the waiting warmth of her husband’s arms as they watched the happy family.

“I’m going to call my sister to watch the babies, so we can go to the hospital.” Shin finally said then turned to Lorelei. “You do have enough bottles made up, don‘t you? Oh and anything else she‘ll need you may want to have at the ready as well.”

“I can make some more quickly and get pajamas out for them.” She said as they laid the now slumbering newborns into their bassinets.

“I’ll help you.” Ming said and all four set out to prepare for yet another trek to the hospital, not sure just what they would find once they got there.

********************************************************************************

“Seiji? Son?” Mr. Date lightly shook his son who had collapsed onto a couch in the doctor’s lounge.

“Seiji... Come on wake up.”

“Huh? Oh Father.” Seiji felt disorientated at first but managed to shake the cobwebs and gather his senses rather quickly. “Touma! What about...” His eyes flew open and his heart began pounding madly.

“It’s okay, he’s still in surgery or he was just ten minutes ago. I thought you’d want to know that your friends are here... And so is Suzume.” Mr. Date frowned. Suzume apparently got tired of waiting for any word on her husband and had snuck out to take a train down to them.

“She’s here! Damn!” Seiji said and ran his hand through his uncombed hair. “I don’t have the time nor the patience to deal with her right now.”

“I know but she is your wife Seiji and for that simple fact you must show her respect.” Mr. Date said and helped Seiji to his feet. “Here Dr Kobe gave me these scrubs for you to wear; you don’t want to walk around looking like that.”

“Thanks but I already have a pair. Can you believe it; they kept my locker here?” Seiji looked at his clothes, which were caked with dried blood; he could feel it in his hair as well. After they had taken Touma up to surgery and told him he could not accompany them, Seiji had come into the doctor’s lounge to clean up a little. Surprised and a little overcome with emotions to see that his old locker had been left intact. Fatigue grabbed him though and he laid down on the couch with the thought of resting for just a few minutes before resuming his task of cleaning himself up.

He knew Touma wasn’t out of the woods yet, and even though he managed to clamp off the bleeder Touma was still in shock from the tremendous amount of blood that he had lost. They also had no way of knowing if the bullet had damaged vital organs and so he was now in surgery to repair and explore, to which Seiji could only be another individual waiting around for the news.

“Guess they knew you’d come back someday.” Mr. Date said and put his hand on Seiji’s shoulder. “Seiji, your grandfather and I were in awe of you as you worked on Touma. We never took the time to realize the special gift you were given and for that, we are truly sorry. You are an excellent doctor and the patients deserve to have you available for them.” He smiled.

“Thank you father. How long have I been sleeping?” Seiji asked as he headed towards the bathroom where he could grab a shower. He removed his hospital ID tag and set it on the counter.

“About four hours, they said it would be another hour or so before they bring Touma down from the surgical floor. The nurse said they were just finishing up at that time though she couldn‘t tell me any details... Gomen.” Mr. Date relayed to him. “Why don’t I scrounge up some tea and some food for you and I’ll meet you in the waiting room?”

“Sounds good father, thank you.” Walking in to the shower room, he adjusted the knobs and waited until the temperature was to his liking. Seiji sighed and stepped into the warm spray of the shower. “Please Touma you have to live... I need you more then ever. I need to be able to tell you how much I love you and how much you truly mean to me.” Closing his eyes he raised his face to the spray of water, allowing it to mix with the tears that flowed down his face.

********************************************************************************

“Man here we go again! This is getting old!” Ryo said as he paced back and forth.

“You have to calm down Ryo I’m sure we’ll hear something soon.” Nasuti tried her best to calm her husband down. “I can’t image what it must have been like for Seiji... God to see the person you love dying right in front of you. This isn’t fair; he and Touma were suppose to have a long and happy life together, it’s just not fair!” She cried softly.

“Well maybe this will bring them closer together, maybe this will make them see just how much they love and need each other.” Shu commented.

“Ahem! Shu, Seiji’s wife is right over there... You know Seiji will remain duty bound, he’s going to be a father after all and I can’t foresee him leaving a pregnant wife to be with his lover, err, ex-lover actually. You should know Seiji by now.” Shin scolded him. He then leaned in closer to him. “Not that I would condemn him if he did leave her, mind you... I almost wish he would actually.”

“Yeah guess you’re right.” Shu remarked sadly. “Hey there’s Seiji’s dad!” He said as he watched him come towards them.

“Hey guys! I guess Seiji isn’t done getting cleaned up yet.” Mr. Date set the tray down and looked at Suzume who was seated a little farther away from the main group. She looked pissed rather then concerned.

“Whatever you’ve got there smells really good!” Shu commented and smacked his lips.

“Oh no you don’t that’s Mr. Date’s! Come on bottomless pit we’ll go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat.” Ming said as she pulled her husband away the food.

“Actually I got this for Seiji he needs to keep up his strength.” Mr. Date commented. “Speaking of which!” He said as he saw the blond walking towards them looking tired but clean. “Sit down and eat something.” His father told him.

“Thanks, I’ll just have some tea for now... I’m not really hungry right now.” Seiji said and took the cup of tea his father offered him. “I ran into Kenji that’s what took me so long.” Seiji sipped his tea then looked up to see Suzume standing next to him. “Suzume, please sit down.”

“Seiji Date I heard about what you did and I can’t believe you could be so foolish!! I mean how could you wrestle a man with a gun! My God you could have been injured or worse yet, killed! Then our child wouldn’t have a father!” Suzume was fuming. “That was plain old stupid! If Touma wants to kill himself... Let him! Personally we’d be better off if he did!”

“Whoa wait a minute lady!” Shu was biting at the bit to have a go at her, verbally of course; after all she was carrying his friend’s child. “Don’t you ever talk about my friend like that! GOT IT!” Shu was practically in her face and Shin held him back.

“Suzume, Shu... Everyone just calm down okay?” Seiji said and stood up. He was much too exhausted to be dealing with this at the moment. He grabbed Suzume by the shoulders and made her look up at him. “I don’t EVER want to hear that kind of talk from you. I will forgive you this time seeing that you are upset and were most likely worried about me, but I won’t tolerate you talking about my friends in that manner.” Seiji told her firmly.

“You mean you don’t want me saying anything bad about your lover!” She spat back and glared at him.

“Father! Take Suzume back to Sendai with you!” Seiji replied and walked away from her, trying his best to keep his temper in check. “She shouldn’t be here anyways.”

“I’m not going anywhere Seiji! I have a right to be with my husband! Now Nasuti and Ryo have already said we can both stay with them till you make sure your lo.... Touma is okay.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and huffed.

“Fine.... Father take her to Nasuti and Ryo’s place then. She can wait on the porch until Ryo and Nasuti return home.” Seiji said sarcastically.

“Seiji! She’s pregnant! I’ll take her.” Nasuti said finally, she knew this wasn‘t normal talk for Seiji and that the stress was just getting to him. “You said you saw Dr Kobe... Does that mean there’s news on Touma?” Nasuti asked softly.

“Yes.” Seiji said and then sighed. “He’s in ICU and will be there for quite awhile I‘m afraid. The bullet damaged a section of his liver and while they were able to repair it through dissection he will need weeks to have it back to 100% functional. He has numerous other injuries, plus there is some concern with his EEG’s which are showing irregular brain activity.” Seiji put his head into his hands.

“Uh Seiji? Can you uhm... put that into plain language for us medically impaired people?” Shu asked as he scratched his head.

Sighing and slightly frustrated Seiji looked up at Shu. “Okay here’s the scoop. He lost a third of his liver; they had to remove a section due to the blood loss and bullet damage. As you may or may not know, he was raped repeatedly. They also used some sort of electrical or battery operated device on him that has done quite a bit of damage to his internal... well... to spell it out in simple words... his anal cavity.” Seiji said and hung his head. “They literally tried to fry him from the inside out.” Seiji choked back the tears.

Once bright violet eyes were now clouded over in heartache and sorrow, as he recounted the details that were given to him. “I don’t know how he endured that pain, it had to be horrible for him.” Seiji took a deep breath trying to keep his emotions in check.

“Oh dear God.” Lorelei quickly sat beside Seiji and pulled him to her. “I’m so sorry Seiji... I know this is so hard on you. You gonna be okay?” She pushed the hair from his face and kissed his cheek.

“Yes, thanks Lors... I’m sorry if I’ve been a jerk lately. You’ve always been a good friend to Touma and I. I’m sorry for disappointing you.” He watched her eyes as they spoke to him and he knew she had never gave up on either one of them. “Touma’s going to need all our strength right now.” Seiji said and allowed his head to rest on Lorelei’s shoulder.

“Touma has numerous broken ribs; cuts, abrasions and they broke one of his ankles. I don’t know how he walked into that one room after Ryo removed him but he did and he stood up, though I suspect it may have been the drugs they had injected into him that allowed him to do so.” Seiji added and closed his eyes. He was so tired now and wished he could just crawl into bed and sleep for days.

“DAMN THOSE ANIMALS!!” Shu said and turned his back to the group so they couldn’t see the tears sliding down over his cheeks. He could hear the sobs coming from Lorelei, Ming and Nasuti and that only made it worse. Ming went to her husband and held him, words were kept silent for now.

“What about this EEG thing? You said he was showing abnormal brain activity.” Ryo asked as he knelt in front of the swordsman.

“We won’t know what’s going on there until he’s awake and he can be tested further. The worse case scenario is that the drugs affected his brain to the point of being permanent. He could have hallucinations, memory loss, loss of speech, sensory or motor functions... We just don’t know.” Seiji shut his eyes trying to keep the tears inside of him.

“Come on now, he’s going to be all right. You’ll see.” Ryo told him and squeezed his hand. “Touma is a fighter he won’t let something like this keep him down.”

“I hope you’re right Ryo. I have so much I need to say to him, so much I have to tell him.” Seiji spoke softly then looked up to see Suzume sitting by herself and in tears. “Listen guys why don’t you go home, Touma will be out of it for a day or so, and then I’ll get you into see him. Ryo would you take Suzume with you.... I’m going to stay a little while longer. I’ll get a ride from a doctor or something.” Seiji excused himself and walked over to his wife.

“Suzume? I want you to go with Ryo and Nasuti; I’m going to stay here for awhile.” Seiji said to her, his eyes were glazed from the hurt he was feeling for Touma and for his wife. He knew that whatever decision he made would cause heartache to one of them and that was something he really didn’t want to see happen.

“Why Seiji? Why do you desire Touma over me? What have I done to displease you so?” She began to cry and Seiji reached out to hug her. “NO! Don’t I don’t want your comfort unless it’s because you desire me as your wife.”

“Suzume, I don’t know if I can do that. Gomen nasai.” He replied

“Then have it your way, this child will never be raised by you Seiji Date... You hear me! NEVER! I won’t allow a queer to raise my child.” She hissed at him.

“Enough!” Seiji stood with anger in his eyes. “You will go back to the Sanada’s and we will talk when I return. You seem to forget that that is my child as well and I WILL have a say in how he or she is raised!” He clenched his fists so tightly that he could feel the nails as short as they were, digging into his palms.

Seiji walked away only nodding to his friends as he did so. He would not allow Suzume to see his fear of not seeing his only child. He had a feeling that he was in for a nasty battle and that didn’t thrill him in the slightest, especially right now.

********************************************************************************

“I’m sorry Touma but I can’t give you anymore pain medication for at least another hour or so, you just had some a little over an hour ago.” Nurse Kaga spoke to him softly.

“It hurts and I’m so cold... Pl... Please don’t leave me like this...Help me.” Touma shivered as his eyes darted around the room. “They want to hurt me again... They... They are watching me, waiting for me.” He said hoarsely.

“There’s no one here Touma I checked the room twice. I’m sorry but I have other patients to look after. I’ll try and come back as soon as I can.” She patted his arm and pulled the covers up to his neck before silently walking out of the door.

“We’re all alone now Orion... All alone, with no one to help us. I won‘t let the bad men hurt you, I promise.” He said as he held a gray stuffed cat. Pulling it close to him he shivered again. “Welcome to my nightmare/ I think you’re going to like it/ I think you’re going to feel/ right at home.” He sang to himself, afraid that if he closed his eyes the nightmares would return. He shivered again and looked around the room making sure that no one was standing there to inflict more pain on his already broken and battered body.

It hurt to lie on his back, the pain he felt radiating from his ass was more then he could bear and so he cried. “Please help me... Please make it stop... It hurts. I don‘t want anymore pain... I‘ll be good if you make it go away, I promise.” His tears fell silently as he clutched the stuffed animal closer to him.

He continued to sing in between sobs only to stop when he heard a soft knock at his door. Weakly he called out to them. “Did you come to help me?”

“Good morning Touma.” Lorelei smiled as she walked into the room. “Shin and I had to bring the babies in for a check-up so we decided to take turns and see you. Shin is watching Hana and Toushiba right now.” She walked over and sat in the chair by his bed. She took Touma’s hand when he offered it to her.

“I hurt Lors and they won’t help me... They won’t make the pain go away.” The look he gave her almost had Lorelei bursting into tears. He drew his head closer to her and whispered. “My hinny hurts really bad and they won’t help me. Bad men did bad things to me back there.” He used his free hand to point behind him.

“I know Touma, I saw Nurse Kaga, she said she may be able to give you something in an hour. Can you try and hold on till then?” She reached out and brushed the hair from his eyes. Seiji had told her earlier when she had phoned him to ask about Touma, that he was healing physically but that his mental well being seemed to be doing poorly.

“Will you stay with me until then?” He reached for her hand and held it. “I’m scared to be alone; I don’t like to be alone.” His voice was almost childlike and it wrenched at her heart. “Orion is scared too, please don’t leave us alone.”

“I’ll stay Touma, but I need to let Shin know. Can I go tell him? It will only take a minute and then I‘ll be right back.” She tried to sooth him while fighting back the tears that were so close to falling.

Touma had been in there for almost two weeks now and still had moments where he seemed to resort to being a child. The doctors at first thought it was due to the drugs but after further tests deemed it psychological. They felt it was a regression in order to block out the trauma he had endured.

Things had gotten worse when one day he had asked Seiji about his cat and when Seiji finally broke down and told him that Orion had died, Touma seemed to go nuts. They had to medicate him just to keep him from injuring himself and the regression got worse.

“Okay but hurry back... Please?” He told her sadly. Lorelei quickly went to speak to her husband who was getting help with the twins from a nurse. ’Go ahead’ he had told her and so she sat with Touma. Over the next hour he seemed to drift from the child to the adult and Lorelei did her best to keep up with it all. Only after Touma began crying uncontrollably, did they finally give Touma something for the pain, which seemed to help quite a bit.

“Is the pain better now Touma?” Lorelei asked as she fixed his blankets and then began helping him to eat his lunch.

“Yes it is. Thanks Lors.” He was Adult Touma now. “I’m sorry if I seem too shaky to feed myself, usually Seiji is here and he feeds me.” He looked at the door and sighed. “I wonder where he is?”

“Oh don’t worry about it.” Lorelei smiled and wiped at the side of his mouth with the napkin. “Seiji said he would be a little late today Suzume had a doctors appointment.” Lorelei said it then regretted it.

“He still loves her I just know it, he doesn’t love me... He never loved me. I was just a convenient fuck and when I out lived my usefulness he deserted me.” Touma began to cry and Lorelei knew that soon the child would appear.

“That’s not true Touma, Seiji did and does love you.” Lorelei said softly.

“Hey Lorelei want to pet my kitty cat?” Touma’s voice altered and a child came through. “His name is Orion... I named him after my cat that died.

“I would love to pet your kitty.” Lorelei tried her best to smile even though the whole scene was saddening. Touma held out the stuffed cat and she ran her hand over the soft fur. She listened as Touma began making purring noises.

“He’s purring that means he likes you.” Touma smiled briefly before his expression turned sadder. “Lorelei?”

“Yes, Touma?” She reached out and stroked his cheek when she saw the tears forming in his eyes.

“Why did the bad men kill my kitty?” His voice cracked. “Why did they have to kill Orion? I loved my cat... He was my friend. I never felt alone when he was around.” He looked at her with big dark blue eyes. That was it for her, the tears began streaking her cheeks.

“I don’t know Touma... Sometimes people do things just to be mean and so they can hurt others.” She said through light sobs.

“Lorelei don’t cry. Here you hold my kitty he’ll make you feel happy again.” The look on Touma’s face was all she needed to see before her total defenses broke down and the tears fell harder.

“Oh God Touma.” She began crying as her heart when out to the man she always considered her best friend. Just then she heard the door to the room opening and knew it was Shin. She could smell the light scent of the after shave he wore which always reminded her of a sea breeze.

“Lorelei? What’s wrong honey?” Shin raced over to her, plucking her from the chair he quickly pulled her into his arms. “Come on it’s going to be okay, what’s got you so upset?” He said and looked over at Touma who appeared more like a scared rabbit then the brave warrior he fought beside of all those years ago.

“I’m sorry Shin; I made her cry... I’m sorry.” Touma tried to curl into a ball as he clutched his stuffed animal and tears followed their usual path down his pale cheeks. “I’m a bad boy; I made my friend cry, I’m sorry. That’s why those men did those bad things to me... I’m not clean anymore... I don’t know how to get clean.” He began rubbing at his arms. “I have to get clean... Please help me be clean again.”

“Touma no! Oh God no you’re not bad. Not at all.” Shin spoke softly as his own eyes began to tear up at the sight of his friend. “Those men were evil, you did nothing wrong.” He tried to assure him.

He saw Touma begin to scratch at his skin harder. “No Touma you have to stop you’ll hurt yourself.” He said and reached down to pull Touma’s hands away from his arms.

“No don’t touch me! I’ll make you dirty too... Don’t touch me.” He cried out and began to thrash around.

“Touma you need to calm down. Please?” Lorelei tried to help Shin.

“I made you sad... I’m a bad boy I hurt my friend.” Touma cried harder. “Seiji hurt me too... That must mean I am bad, he said he loved me but he hurt me. You don’t hurt people you love only people who are bad.” He began trying to get away from them.

“No Touma please you’ll hurt yourself. I was crying because it saddens me that someone hurt you, not because you made me sad.” Lorelei explained but it was as though Touma heard none of it. “I’m going to get a nurse.” She said and almost knocked Seiji over as he was coming into the room.

He took one look at Touma with Shin trying to restrain him and knew what was happening. “Hold him I’ll go get a sedative.” Seiji said and dashed out the door again. His heart was pounding as he made his way to the room where the meds were stored. Running into Nurse Kaga he explained what was going on and she opened the cabinet so he could get what he needed. “Thank you Hiruma, I’ll sign for this after I get him under control.” Seiji told her and ran back to the room.

When he ran in he saw that Shin and Lorelei were having no luck in calming the archer down. “Seiji help him please?” Lorelei pleaded as tears ran down her cheeks. “God this is so unfair.” She cried as she and Shin held Touma’s arm so Seiji could administer the injection.

Touma looked up at Seiji and his eyes got huge. “No Seiji don’t hurt me anymore... I promise I’ll be good... I don’t like it when you hurt me.” He cried out.

“Shhhhh Touma it’s going to be okay now. I won’t ever hurt you again... I’m so sorry that I did in the first place.” Seiji put the side of the bed down and sat next to Touma. Surprisingly the archer scooted towards him and nestled up against his side. “You try and sleep now; it’ll help you to get better.” Seiji brushed sweat soaked blue hair from Touma’s forehead.

“Do you promise?” He whispered. “Wh.. Where’s Orion?” He asked as he frantically searched for his stuffed animal.

“Here he is.” Seiji reached behind the archer and placed the cat in his arms. Touma hugged it tightly and petted its fur. “Touma I promise with all my heart to never hurt you or make you sad ever again.” Seiji spoke tenderly and gently scooped the archer into his arms. “I love you Touma.” He whispered to the top of blue hair.

“Love... you... too.” Touma slurred out the words and then drifted off into sleep. Seiji continued to hold him and was overcome with emotions that were too great to hold in any longer.

“Oh God Touma... I’ve brought you so much pain love, yet you still love me... I don’t deserve any of it.” His tears fell rapidly down over his cheeks. “I swear I will find a way to make it up to you. I will do whatever it takes and for as long as it takes, to prove to you that I really do love you.”

Seiji pressed his face into Touma’s hair as his body shook with his sobs. “Please come back to me Touma... I need you so much... I need you to be a part of my life and I need your forgiveness most all.”

The scene was more then Lorelei could stand and she too allowed more tears to soak her face. Walking over to her two friends she leaned down and pressed a cheek against Seiji’s. “He’ll come back Seiji... and I know he’ll always forgive you and love you.” Her hand brushed Touma’s cheek.

“I hope so Lors, I love him so much... so very much.” Seiji began to sob again. “Thank you for not turning your back on me when you had every right to. Thank you most of all for being there when Touma needed a friend. I know I should have been there for him, but I wasn’t and for that I am so sorry.” He whispered to her.

********************************************************************************

Walking into the house and slipping off his shoes, Seiji yawned as he put on the house slippers and headed towards the kitchen for some water before going to bed. “Seiji is that you?” Ryo called to him from the living room.

“Yes.” He said and went into the kitchen. Grabbing the jug of spring water from the fridge, he poured some into a glass. Ryo followed him out, he could sense that something was very wrong and he knew he had to find out just what it was.

“Seiji, what’s wrong? Did something happen with Touma?” Ryo took at seat at the counter and waited for Seiji to join him.

“Well you know that Touma has been having moments where he seems almost like a child, right?” Seiji paused to allow Ryo time to reply.

“Yeah, at first I thought it was just Touma being Touma. I get the feeling that that’s not the case.” Ryo’s tiger blue eyes began to glisten, he had a feeling that what Seiji was about to tell wouldn’t be very good. Damn I’m getting to be a real crybaby as I get older.

“No Ryo it’s not the case.” Seiji sighed and then took a deep breath before continuing. “They have diagnosed him with MPS or Multiple Personality Syndrome. The child you’re referring to is a person Touma’s mind has created, probably to protect himself from everything that has happened.” Seiji looked down at his hands, which were beginning to shake.

“Aw Damn! What else must he endure? Touma deserves none of this man.” Ryo felt the first few tears slip from his eyes. “When has Touma ever done anything that would warrant getting this much pain and torment? WHEN SEIJI?”

“He never has Ryo... Don’t you think I know that?” Seiji turned to look at his friend. “This is tearing me up inside, I love Touma and to see him going through all of this just breaks my heart.” Seiji took a few deep breaths in order to maintain his emotional control.

“Too bad you didn’t think of all this when you skipped out on him!” Ryo pounded his fist onto the counter. “You rape the man who loves you, then you take the coward’s way out by leaving him... You weren’t there for him when he needed you the most!”

“I know Ryo and I’ll regret that for as long as I live. I can’t do anything to change the past... What’s done is done.” Seiji could feel anger boiling to the surface. “You seem to forget that I was raped as well.” Seiji got up from his chair and paced the floor. “Did you think that just because I have such control over my emotions that what had happened to me didn’t affect me?”

“We didn’t even know you had been raped till after Touma talked to your family... AFTER you raped Touma!” Ryo’s voice was becoming louder.

“Damn it Ryo... I was so humiliated and ashamed of what had happened, I was scared that all of you would see me as less of a person. ‘Mr. Under Control’ allowed someone to abuse his body again and again. He allowed them stick objects up his ass, he allowed them shoved their dicks in any orifice they could.”

Seiji’s tears finally fought their way out and rolled down over his pale cheeks. “I had so little control Ryo that I actually had several orgasms! Do you even realize how disgusted I felt when that happened? DO YOU? No you can’t, it’s never happened to you!” Seiji kept his back to Ryo too ashamed by his tears to face him.

“Seiji I...” Ryo was stunned he knew Seiji had been raped, but now hearing some of the details made his skin crawl.

“Save it Ryo... I wanted to die right then and there, but I knew I couldn’t... I had Touma to think about. Not my family, not my friends.... TOUMA! That’s all I thought about during the ordeal. It was my love for Touma that helped me through it. You can’t imagine how horrible I feel right now.” Seiji’s legs gave out and he fell to his knees.

“SEIJI!!” Ryo raced over to him.

“Oh God Ryo I hated those men for what they did to me, I still feel so dirty and I’m so ashamed.” Seiji allowed Ryo to pull him closer and he buried his face into Ryo’s shoulder. “To know... that they did the same thing... to my Touma angers me. I want him to get better Ryo... I want him to come back to me. I love him so much.”

“I know you do Seiji... I know.” Ryo stroked the golden locks that adorned the swordsman‘s head, looking up he saw Nasuti standing in the doorway with tears streaking down over her face. “I’m sorry, sorry for not making an effort to understand your reasons for doing what you did. Now we have to concentrate on Touma and him getting better. You tell us what we can do and we’ll do it.” Ryo’s voice was soft and comforting.

“The only way he can be helped is if he faces what has happened to him. He needs to deal with the trauma of being raped, especially being raped by someone he knows, trusted and once loved.”

Seiji pulled away from Ryo and stood up. “Please for give me for the way I just acted. It wasn’t a very mature way of behaving. It‘s not like I‘m a teen, I‘m a grown man and here I am bawling like a baby. God what must you think of me?”

“Seiji you don’t need to be on your guard around us. We are not about to chastise you for showing emotions, we are not going to laugh at you simply because you were crying, and we are not about to pass some type of judgment on you either.” Nasuti finally spoke up.

“I hate myself for allowing those men to do what they did to me... I should have fought harder; I should have fought hard enough that they would have killed me instead.” Seiji said softly.

“DON’T EVER TALK LIKE THAT!!” Ryo screamed at him. “Your life is worth living, yeah you may have made mistakes with how you handled everything, but we all do that. Right now Touma is doing the same thing... he’s just doing it a little differently. You have us... Your friends, and your family to help you through this, and WE WILL get through this!”

“Ryo’s right, let us help you Seiji... Maybe if we help you it’ll make it easier for you to help Touma. It’s obvious that you still have some demons to slay, and until you do, you won’t be able to help Touma like you could. Please give us this chance, please?” Nasuti walked over and hugged Seiji who threw his arms around her and squeezed her tight.

“Thanks, I will try and be more open.” He whispered. “I do have a favor to ask though.” He added.

“Name it buddy, anything we can do we will.” Ryo’s smile began to return.

“The hospital has asked me to come back temporarily, seems they are a little short handed, but for me to do that, I’ll need a place to stay...” Seiji began and before he could finish Nasuti kissed his cheek.

“You can stay here Seiji, for as long as you like. You should know that by now. This will always be your home.” She smiled and leaned into her husband’s arms as they snake around her waist to hold her tightly.

“It’s just that Suzume will most likely want to stay as well, and that would mean using two separate rooms.” He blushed slightly. Seiji wasn’t comfortable with airing his dirty laundry in public, but he had no other option if he wanted to remain close to the hospital and Touma.

“There’s plenty of room here, don’t worry about it.” Ryo said and laid his chin down on Nasuti’s shoulder. “As for Suzume, we’ll handle her and hopefully we can find ways of keeping her out of your hair.”

“Thank you, both of you.” Seiji chuckled slightly. “Good luck in dealing with Suzume, she can be a handful.” He smiled and then yawned. “Guess I had better try and get some sleep. I’ll call my family in the morning to inform them. Maybe my parents can get my car down to me this weekend.”

“Until then, use mine. Ryo can give me a ride to the University and I can always carpool.” Nasuti replied and handed Seiji her car keys. “Now scoot off to bed mister.” She giggled as Seiji kissed her cheek and trotted out of the kitchen, shouting a hearty good night to them as he did so.

********************************************************************************

“Touma I need you to listen carefully okay? Dr Kobe and I need to explain some things to you.” Seiji watched as Touma winced when he went to sit up. Touma was still in a great deal of pain especially at his butt. He had been using small amounts of Korin’s power to heal Touma, but he would have to wait until Touma was out of the hospital to do a better job.

“Okay... Uhm Seiji? Should Orion listen as well?” Touma held up the stuffed cat and smiled.

“Sure Touma, Orion should listen too.” Seiji sighed. Touma’s regression had reduced him to acting like a child of about 5 years old. From what Seiji remembered Touma only had one birthday party that he could ever remember and that was on his fifth birthday. That was also the only year that both his parents had kept regular work hours, allowing them to be home more for their son.

It’s no wonder his mind chose that time frame, it was a happy memory for him. God Touma does this mean that the years we spent together weren’t happy? No, it must be that those memories are too painful for him, they remind him of the love he thinks he has lost for good. Not to mention what I did to him. I’m just as much at fault for Touma’s current state of mind as anyone else. Seiji thought to himself.

“Seiji you want to start?” Dr Kobe’s voice brought Seiji pack to the tasks at hand.

“Touma, you’ll be able to go home in about a week or....” Seiji didn’t finish the sentence; the look in Touma’s eyes had stopped him cold.

“No! Don’t make me go back to that house! Please?” Touma’s voice took on a deep urgency. “Bad things happened there. Those bad men hurt me in that house... Please don’t make me go back.” Touma’s dark blue eyes filled with tears that spilled out and ran down his cheeks. Clutching his stuffed cat tightly he looked at Seiji with fear in his eyes.

“Touma no that‘s not what I meant...” Seiji went to console Touma only to have him push him away.

“NO! The bad men did bad things to me; they did naughty things to me... They touched my privates and made me touch theirs...” He cried harder. “You did too! You made me put my mouth on your pee pee, and you stuck your pee pee in my hinny, it hurt but you still did it.” Touma wiped his nose on the back of his pajama sleeve. “Why did you hurt me Seiji? I thought you were my friend... You hurt me badly.” Touma winced again as the pain in his butt radiated up through his body.

Seiji felt his cheeks burn with his embarrassment. My God he sees our relationship as me molesting him! He doesn’t realize we were lovers. How could he? Right now he’s thinking like a five-year-old.

“Here Touma, use this.” Dr Kobe handed Touma a tissue. “Now Dr Date and I are not here to scare or hurt you, we are doctors and we have taken an oath to help people, to make them feel better and to make it so they aren’t sick anymore. Okay?”

“Kay, just don’t make me go to that house where the bad men were. They killed my kitty there! I don‘t know why they had to do that. I loved Orion. He didn‘t try to hurt me at all. He was a good kitty... He was my kitty.” Touma shivered as the tears fell once more. “Orion was a good friend, he was my friend and he made sure I was never lonely, but he’s gone now... He’s in heaven now, where the angels are.” Burying his face into the soft fur Touma sobbed. “Why? Why did they hurt him? WHY?

“Touma please... Don’t cry you can get a new kitty if you like.” Seiji swallowed the lump that was rising in his throat and his eyes stung with the tears that sat there. “I’ll take you to a place where you can pick out a new one if you’d like.”

“Really?” Touma’s eyes got big and a smile spread across his face.

“Yes, silly! Now I want you to listen to Dr Kobe and I, this is important okay?” Seiji couldn’t help but smile, even with Touma acting like that of a five-year-old, he was still adorable to him.

“Thank you Seiji!” Touma reached out and hugged the blond. Wrapping his long arms around Seiji’s neck and squeezing him tightly. “I’ll be good and listen now. I promise.” Touma sat back on the bed and grabbed his stuffed animal.

“Do you remember my parents and my grandfather?” Seiji asked him. He couldn’t help but feel teary eyed at the way Touma reacted to his offer of getting a new kitten.

“Uh huh. Your mom is nice cause she made me cookies. She’s like Nasuti, Ming and Lorelei... Pretty and soft and they all smell good. They have a mommy smell.” He said. “You smell good too Seiji, you always smell good.” Touma looked at Seiji and saw the tears standing in his eyes.

“Yes Touma. How would you like to come back to Sendai with me and live with my family for awhile?” Seiji watched as Touma’s eyes sparkled.

“Do you mean that? I can live with you?” Touma smiled. Then looked at Seiji. “You won’t hurt me any more, will you?” Touma’s midnight blue eyes searched Seiji’s face for the reassurance he so desperately needed. “I won’t go if you are going to hurt me. I WON’T!” Touma’s eyes filled with tears.

“Touma I won’t hurt you. I promise you.” Seiji’s eyes went wide. Was he the biggest reason Touma had regressed like this?

“You said that before, and look what you did. Big Touma told me what you did to him and that’s why he won’t talk to you.” Touma’s tears slid down his cheeks.

“Wh... What? Why won’t he talk to me?” Seiji asked, his heart felt like it had been kicked.

“Cause you hurt him. You did naughty things to him even though he said no. Why did you do that? Why did you hurt Big Touma? Those bad men hurt me, they did naughty things to me and now Big Touma and I feel so dirty... We’re bad boys now... we don’t want to live anymore.” Touma threw his hands over his face and began to cry. “We’re so ashamed.”

“Seiji, maybe I’ll step out for a minute... sound like you might want to be alone for now.” Dr Kobe said and headed out the door. “I’ll have Nurse Kaga prepare a sedative and bring it to you just in case.”

Seiji didn’t answer he only nodded as he tried to calm Touma down. “Oh God Touma, I’m so very sorry, I have regretted my actions ever since that day. You have to believe me.” Seiji went to comfort Touma only to have the archer push him away once again. Seiji looked at him sadly and wondered if it would work out having Touma living with his family.

“Get the fuck out of here Seiji! I told you all ready... I don’t need you!” Adult Touma was speaking now.

“Touma?” Confused now, Seiji could only stare at the archer.

“Yeah that’s my name. Listen Seiji, do us all a favor and go back home to the little wife. I don’t want anything to do with you.” Touma spat and picked up the stuffed cat and threw it. “And take your stupid stuffed animal.”

“No Touma don’t do that. You like this.” Seiji commented as he picked it up off the floor. Touma had thrown it so hard that part of a seam busted and now stuffing was sticking out. Touma saw it and he began to freak out.

“Oh God what have I done? What did I do to it? I remember now! Oh God NO!!!!!!” Touma screamed and began rocking back and forth.

“Touma what? What is it? What do you remember?” Seiji was frantic now.

“Seiji I killed him.... I killed my cat!” Touma looked at him as tears flowed. “Orion accidentally got a claw into my foot... I didn’t know what I was doing. I was full of so much hurt and anger.... I didn’t realize what I was doing!!!” Touma cried harder.

Seiji felt the tears well up and he too began to cry. His stomach churned at what he was sure he would hear next.

“He didn’t mean to hurt me, he was just playing... I wanted to hurt someone; I wanted someone to feel just as much pain as I was feeling... Oh God Orion I’m so sorry...” Touma rocked faster. Seiji knew he had to be hurting himself since his internal injuries still hadn’t healed all of the way.

“I was so angry when Orion did that; I didn’t want any more pain Seiji. I remember the pain hit my foot and I... I kicked out. Orion let out this horrible noise as he... As he... As he hit the footboard of the bed.” Touma got quiet and stared straight ahead.

“Oh God Touma, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t your fault; you had no con...” Touma cut him off abruptly.

“Get out! Leave me alone!” Touma looked away from him.

“Touma what’s wrong?” Seiji asked and reached for his hand.

“Don’t you dare touch me! Don’t ever touch me! GET OUT!!” Touma screamed at him. “You should have let me die! Damn you Seiji!” Touma laid down and curled into a ball. “I killed my cat Seiji! I resorted to one of your tactics... I hurt someone out of anger... Jesus I’m no better then those assholes that raped me.”

Touma was getting angrier by the moment so Seiji did the only thing he could... He pressed the nurses call button. Nurse Kaga and two orderlies came in with a sedative and handed it to Seiji.

“Here you go Dr Date.” She watched as the orderlies held Touma’s arms down until the restraints were put into place. Once done, Seiji administered the injection.

“I SAID GET OUT!! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!” Touma screamed again he could feel the sedative slowly taking affect and soon with his energy spent, Touma drifted off into a restless slumber.

“Doctor? Your wife called she said to remind you that she was meeting you here this afternoon for lunch and for an Ob/Gyn visit.” Nurse Kaga said as she pulled the blankets up over Touma. Picking up the stuffed cat she saw the tear. “Poor thing, I have an emergency sewing kit on me I’ll get this sewed up and back to him before he ever notices it’s gone.” She smiled.

“Thanks Hiruma, I’m sure Touma will like that. Thank you also for all the extras you have done for him.” Seiji smiled slightly.

“No problem Doc, now you should get some rest... You look like hell.” She winked and walked out of the room.

********************************************************************************

Suzume walked into Touma’s room and closed the door. “Excuse me Nurse Kaga?” She spoke quietly not bothering to so much as glance at the blue haired man resting in the bed near her.

“Oh Mrs. Date, I regret to inform you but your husband was called into emergency surgery... he was the only one available to assist Dr Kobe.” Hiruma told her.

“Oh great.” Suzume said as she stood there. “Any idea of when they went in and how long it’ll be?”

“They only went in a few minutes ago and I can’t imagine them coming out for at least two hours... I’m sorry.” Hiruma frowned. She didn’t like Suzume at all, but this was Dr Date’s wife and she had to be nice.

“Mrs. date could you do me a favor, that’s unless you’re already late for your appointment. I need to run down to the personnel office, it should take me about fifteen minutes.” She explained. “Would you mind staying with Touma till I get back? Dr date wants someone with him at all times, and it’s shift change time, so no one else can...” Hiruma asked politely.

“Sure go ahead I’ll stay here.” Suzume cut her off and waved her hand towards the door. Once Hiruma had left Suzume walked over to Touma. “Come on you blue haired freak... wake up.” She reached in and lightly tapped his cheek.

“Seiji? I’m so sorry Seiji... I hurt Orion... So sorry.” Touma spoke in a groggy voice and slowly opened his eyes. Once his vision cleared and he saw who was standing by his bed he immediately felt a burst of anger.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He spat.

“Really Hashiba-san! Is that any way to talk to your best friend’s wife?” She smirked and paced slowly around the bed.

“Yeah well let’s see what Seiji has to say about it.” Touma reached for the call button only to have it snatched away by Suzume.

“Tsk, Tsk Touma-san but Seiji is in surgery right now and Nurse Kaga asked me to stay with you while she did a personal errand. And being that you’re in restraints I guess you have no choice but to listen to me.” She stared at him as her smile spread across her face.

“YOU BITCH!” He lashed out, tugging on the cuffs around his wrists. “Seiji deserves better then you... He should have someone who truly cares about him and his feelings; not some bitch who is cold hearted.”

“Oh and let me see, that person he should have.... Would that be you? Hmmm?” She pointed her index finger under her chin and gave him a sarcastic grin.

“NO! He deserves far better. Even I am not worthy of his heart.” Touma felt a pain tear through his abdomen and he pulled on the restraints again.

“Well let me tell you something Hashiba... Seiji does want me. He desires me.” She got closer to his bed now that she was satisfied he couldn’t break free of the cuffs. She smiled when Touma stopped moving to stare at her. “Got your attention have I?”

“For your information, Seiji still loves me. He’s told me that and I believe him.” Touma felt the heat rise in his cheeks. His hatred for this woman grew as he stared at her and he wondered if Seiji knew what kind of person really was.

“Oh he did now? Well it must have been said to just calm you down. Seiji loves me Touma. I’m carrying his child.” She smirked.

“One night of stupidity doesn’t constitute love.” Touma shot back. “The only good thing is Seiji will have his heir, a child he can love.”

“Well I wouldn’t call last night stupid. You see Touma, since you have been in here Seiji has been sharing my bed. Last night in fact, he made love to me and it was glorious!” She watched as a face full of anger changed slightly. Now tears could be seen just behind the dark blue eyes.

“No...” He said weakly. “He... He wouldn’t... Seiji wouldn’t declare his love for me only to turn around and sleep with you. He wouldn’t.” His head began to throb.

“Oh but he did Touma. Seems he has realized how disgusting it would be to sleep with a man, especially one who allowed other men to perform vile acts on him.” She knew she hit a nerve when his whole body stiffened.

“YOU BITCH! GET OUT!” He thrashed about wanting like hell to get his hands on her.

“Awww poor Touma-san, does it bother you to know that Seiji and I made love last night? Does it hurt to know that Seiji finds you disgusting and dirty... Does it?” She said in a mocking voice. “He does you know... he just pities you right now, he blames himself for your gunshot wound. You know his looks as well I do, maybe even better. Look into his eyes Touma... You’ll see nothing but pity.” Suzume reached for the stuffed cat and picked it up.

“Leave that alone witch!” Touma choked back a sob; he had indeed seen pity shining through Seiji’s eyes. He watched as Suzume checked out the stuffed animal before tossing it back. Touma stared off into space; his eyes glazed over and his body stiffened.

“Imagine a grown man needing to sleep with a stuffed animal.” She smirked.

“You are a bad lady... You hurt Big Touma’s feelings... Bad! Bad lady!” The child Touma was speaking now and trying to grab the stuffed animal, which was just out of his reach. Suzume looked at Touma; she was confused by the change in his voice and the way he was acting.

“Wh... Who are you?” She asked.

“I’m little Touma. Touma sent me out cause he’s hurt and mad at you. He doesn’t want to talk to you and neither do I.” He said.

“Oh my God! He’s got a split personality. This is so rich!” Suzume said under her breath. “Imagine what I can do if he stays like this... This could very well be my ticket to keeping Seiji! Oh this is priceless.” She smiled evilly. Just then Nurse Kaga walked in smiling.

“Thank you Mrs. Date for staying with Touma.” She said and saw that Touma was awake.

“Make her leave, she’s a mean old witch.” Touma said. “Nurse Kaga I can’t reach Orion, the witch did that; she put him out of my reach.” He said.

“Touma, that’s not a very polite thing to say about Seiji’s wife. Now you apologize!” Nurse Kaga pursed her lips and stared at him.

“NO!” He shouted and looked away from both of them.

“Fine then no extra ice cream for you tonight mister.” She scolded him just like an adult would scold a child. Touma kept his gaze to the wall; Suzume’s words still rang clearly through his mind. Seiji has been lying to us all this time. Now we’re stuck going back to Sendai with him. I don’t know what to do. Big Touma, What do we do? I’m scared. If we go he may hurt us again, but we can’t go to our home... My brain hurts I don’t want to think anymore. Touma closed his eyes, hoping that Suzume would just go away.

“That’s okay Nurse Kaga. I have to get to my Doctor’s appointment. If you see my husband just tell him I said Hi and that I’ll look forward to seeing him when he gets home.” She said sweetly while smirking at Touma. You just wait Touma-san... Once you’re in Sendai you won’t have all your pesky friends to protect you, as for Seiji well he’ll be much too busy to keep an eye on you all the time, that’s when I’ll come in. Suzume walked out of the room feeling triumphant, now all she had to do was bide her time and soon Touma would be out of her hair. A smile spread across her face as she rubbed her bulging belly. “Seiji and I will be a family, a real family I’ll make sure of it.”

********************************************************************************

“No don’t make me go Lorelei, I want to come home with you and Shin... Please?” Touma cried and clung to Lorelei’s arm.

“Touma, we already explained to you that you can’t stay with Shin and Lorelei, they have two babies to care for. That’s more then enough work for them. You need to come home with me.” Seiji spoke softly but sternly.

“I’ll be good and listen. I’ll do what I’m told and I won’t be a pest. I promise Lorelei.” Touma’s eyes glistened with his tears.

“Oh Touma, you know if there was any way for us to do it, I would have you stay with us. I’m sorry sweetheart.” Lorelei sat down beside Touma and pulled him closer. For the past two weeks little Touma was becoming more dominant. Big Touma came out on a few occasions but only when Shin and Lorelei were alone with him.

“The bad lady is going to hurt me Lorelei. She’s mean.” He whispered to her as he nervously looked at Seiji who appeared to be getting more frustrated by the minute.

“Touma!” Seiji had had enough, it was a 6-hour drive back to Sendai and he was already tired. “I’ve told you Suzume explained to me about her visit to you that day and how you got upset when she picked up Orion. She didn’t know what your stuffed cat meant, but now she does. She’s sorry she upset you.” Seiji sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “We have to go Suzume is waiting in the lobby for us.” He reached out to take Touma’s hand but Touma was having none of it and lashed out.

“NO! I WON’T GO! I WON’T1 I WON’T” When he went to pull away from Seiji his nails raked across the back of the blonde’s hand scratching him and drawing blood.

“KUSO!” Seiji pulled his hand back and looked at the scratches. “Okay Touma-san you want to act like a child then I’ll treat you like one.” Seiji said and promptly smacked Touma on the hand. Touma looked up at him, stunned by what he had done. Seiji knew he had hit him hard, he could see the red outline of fingers on the back of the archer’s hand. “T... Touma I’m sorry.” Seiji softened and knelt in front of him.

“You... You hit me! You hurt me.” Big blue eyes glazed with moisture, stared back at him. “You promised not to hurt me.” Touma clutched his stuffed animal tighter and blinked to release the tears. Standing up he lowered his head, too afraid to look at the blond. “I’ll go and I’ll be good. Please don’t hurt me anymore?” He spoke meekly.

Lorelei put her hand over her mouth to try and silence the sob ready to escape, she couldn’t believe Touma had been reduced to this. It was just too much for her and she quickly got up, hugged and kissed Touma, then ran out the door. Shin said his goodbyes with a promise to visit whenever they could and quickly ran after his wife. He found her in a stairwell sobbing.

“Lorelei?” He whispered to her and pulled her into his arms. “He’ll get better, just wait. Soon the old Touma will be back and better then ever.” He tried to cheer her up.

“Oh Shin... Seeing him like that just breaks my heart. Why? Why is this happening to him? Hasn’t he been through enough already?” She sobbed into his shoulder. “I want my friend back; I miss him so much.”

“I know honey, we all do.” Shin said and held his wife, his own tears slid down his cheeks and he prayed to every God there was to have mercy on Touma and to help him heal.

********************************************************************************

Over the next few weeks the Date household fell into a routine as they cared for Touma who still only allowed the child to be seen by them. He did however bring himself out a few times for Seiji’s mom and lately for Seiji’s younger sister Satsuki but it was always the child that Seiji and the rest saw. Touma had a psychiatrist coming in to visit him several times a week and he felt that he was slowly making progress. Each day brought new hope for Seiji, and he yearned for the day that the real Touma would come out and talk to him. He missed him even though he was technically there.

“Touma? Come on Touma time to get up and take your medication.” Seiji prompted him.

“Seiji? Where... Where am I?” Touma sat up and rubbed his eyes. Seiji looked at him and smiled.

“Touma?” He said and sat down slowly. “Oh God Touma!” Seiji was overjoyed to hear the archer’s regular voice; it was like music to his ears.

“Where am I!” He demanded.

“You’re in Sendai, with us.” Seiji said indicating his family.

“Why the hell would I want to be staying with you? You back stabbing son of a bitch!” Touma spat.

“I thought you were okay with this? We had talked about it while you were in the hospital and it was fine.” Seiji then realized that while the little Touma remembered things the real Touma did not, it wasn’t that way when the roles were reversed. In fact, as far as he could tell, Touma wasn’t even aware of the other personality.

“Why would I agree to come live with my ex-lover and his bride and of course the whole kit and caboodle family? Why Seiji?” Touma glared at him. “I’m going back to Toyama.” He said and went to get out of bed only to have the room begin spinning. Seiji saw him swaying and quickly jumped to his feet to catch him.

“Touma!” Seiji found himself standing there with Touma in his arms and their faces just inches apart, he swallowed hard as he stared at soft lips he once knew and loved to kiss. Touma looked up at Seiji, his midnight blue eyes were full of confusion and before Seiji could react Touma closed the gap and kissed Seiji hard. Seiji was stunned by Touma’s advance and then remembering where they were, he pushed Touma away so he ended up sitting back on the bed.

“That proves it... I guess I was right, nothing has changed.” Touma looked away from Seiji. “If you really did love me, you would have returned that kiss... You pushed me away instead, that tells me you feel nothing for me.”

“Touma that’s not it at all. You caught me off guard plus what if someone walks in?” Seiji reached out to touch Touma’s face only to have his hand slapped away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me!” Touma eyes shot daggers at the blond. “It’s obvious that I’m stuck here for awhile, but as soon as I can get around on my own I’m out of here.” He said. “And when I do leave I never want to see your sorry ass again!” Touma looked away from him, his hands were shaking and he was trying not to cry.

“Touma, I...” Seiji was cut off by his younger sister who bounced into the room.

“Ni-chan there you are ojii-san is looking for you, he’s in the Dojo.” She said as she hugged him.

“Hey squirt don’t I get a hug too?” Touma smiled at her.

“Oh Touma! You’re you!” She squealed with delight as she raced over and flung her arms about his neck.

“Hey squirt just who else would I be? The Dalai Lama?” Satsuki laughed at Touma’s remark and then looked at Seiji, she could see the hurt in her brother’s eyes and knew then that things had not gone well for the two.

“Ni-chan don’t give up okay?” She said and then turned back to talk to Touma. Seiji quietly walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Seiji began to wonder if it was a good idea to have brought Touma back there or should hey have left him go to his mom or dad’s. No, we did the right thing. His dad is too busy with his lab work and his mom still travels too much... Maybe Satsuki is right, maybe I shouldn’t give up.

Seiji took off to find his grandfather, he needed to talk to him and maybe he would have some ideas or at least an opinion on it all.

********************************************************************************

“Now here is the number of my beeper and pager just incase you need me... I will have it with me at all time except if I’m in surgery.” Seiji instructed Suzume. “These are the numbers for the arena that the Kendo tournament is in should you need to reach the family. Only call these if you can’t reach me.”

“Seiji I know all this we went over a hundred times last night, you’ll be late for your shift if you keep this up.” Suzume handed him his coat and walked him to the door.

“Oh and Touma’s medicine...”

“Is on the counter in the kitchen in that little blue container marked for today and what time he gets it, what dosage it is and what it’s for. I know all that Seiji.” She reminded him.

“Now are you sure you can handle this what with being pregnant and all. I could always stay home you know.” He started back into the living room but Suzume redirected him towards the door.

“SEIJI! I’m okay. I can handle this don’t worry. Jeez!” She said and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Now go!” She pushed him out the door and quickly closed it.

Seiji stood there for a minute and was going to go back inside but he thought better of it and walked to his car. For the past week the real Touma had stayed out and the psychiatrist was even impressed by it. Seiji had taken on more hours at the small hospital in Sendai after he left Toyama and now worked half the time there and the other half at the Dojo.

Suzume was even acting differently; she was being very supportive of Touma offering to help whenever she could. What shocked Seiji the most was that she had told him that she would let him go after the baby was born so he could be with Touma, if that was what he wanted. Now all he had to hope for was that Touma would want him back. I just have to be patient that’s all. Touma still has a long road in front of him and I’ll be at the end of it waiting for him.

Suzume watched as Seiji drove off, she was finally alone with Touma. The rest of the family had traveled to see and participate in a tournament and when Seiji was asked to work today she was more then happy to look after Touma for him.

“Now let’s go see how the boy wonder is doing.” She smiled as she headed for the room he was staying in. Suzume opened the door cautiously and stepped into the room. Touma was lying on his bed fast asleep. Quietly walking over to him she peered down into his face.

“What does my husband see in you? What do you have that I don’t Touma-san? Besides the obvious of course.” She looked at him with much disdain. “Well I’ll be back with your lunch, a little later and then we shall have our little talk.” She huffed and walked out of the room.

Touma opened his eyes and smiled. “We’ll just see about that Suzume. Seiji will eventually discover the real you and when he does... Well let’s just say that I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”

Touma rolled over onto his side and sighed. “I just wish I knew what to do? I can’t help it but I still love Seiji...I guess I always will. I don’t know if I should give him another chance or take it as a loss and move on?” He shivered slightly and sunk down into the covers. While most of his physical wounds had healed, thanks largely to Korin; there still were some that even Korin couldn’t heal, mainly his heart and his soul. At that moment Touma felt more alone then he had ever felt in his entire life. “Seiji, why can’t you be here? I think it’s time we talked.” He said to the empty room, closing his eyes he slowly drifted off to sleep again to once more visit with the nightmares that never left his dreams and always reminded him of the disgusting acts that were performed on him.

********************************************************************************

“Rise and shine Hashiba-san.” Suzume set the tray down and poked at the sleeping form under the blankets. “Come on you freeloader! Wake your sorry ass up!” She hissed.

“Go to hell Suzume.” Came the voice from under the covers.

“Just get up and eat your frigging dinner.” She spat back and yanked the blankets off of him and onto the floor.

“HEY!” Touma shouted and sat up. “That wasn’t a smart thing to do you know. I could have been totally nude under there.” Touma said and grinned.

“Like that would bother me? Really! Give me a break.” She placed the tray on his lap. “Viewing a body that has been violated and used in the manner that yours was could never turn me on.” Suzume said and smiled when she saw the look Touma’s face held.

“You seem to forget that your husband went through the same thing. Guess that makes him disgusting in your eyes as well.” Touma turned up his nose at the food on the tray as he drank down the glass of juice. “What the hell do you call this crap anyway?”

“Seiji through meditation, fasting and other forms has managed to purify his body. At least he didn’t go out and pick up women just to screw them... At least he didn’t allow his horrors to cause multiple personalities to come out... At least he didn’t kill his own pet!” She looked into his eyes and saw the pain of her words hitting him. Taking the tray away from him she set it on the desk. “You can just starve if my cooking isn’t good enough for you.”

“How did you find out about Orion?” His tears slid down his face as images of that horrible incident flashed through his mind.

“Through Seiji of course, he tells me everything. We are married you know... Married in every sense of the word.” She told him knowing he didn’t remember a thing and the fact that Seiji had told him that he had mentioned the tragedy to her.

Damn him he promised not to say anything! Touma felt deceived by Seiji. “So Seiji fucks you a couple of times and you think that’s a marriage? I probably got it more in one week then you have the whole time you have been married.” He shot back. The fact that he had trusted Seiji and he had once again let him down hurt Touma.

“How many times have you gotten it this week? Hmmm?” She mocked him as she stood at the foot end of the bed. “Well Touma please enlighten me... How many times has Seiji made love to you this week?” Folding her arms across her chest she tapped her foot on the floor as she waited for an answer. “I’ll tell you then... Zero Touma, A big fat zero!! Now how many times has Seiji made love to me? Care to wager a guess?”

Touma said nothing he just stared at her and then stuck his fist up and gave her the finger. Suzume felt her cheeks burn and she knew she would have to work harder at it if she was to accomplish her plan.

“Seiji has made love to me every single night this week... I have laid in his arms, felt his kisses, had him penetrate me and shoot his seed into me! I’ve been on the other end of his love making... Not you!” She smiled when she saw the archer wince slightly. “Want to know why he’s making love to me and not you?”

Touma felt hurt, if what she was saying was true, then that meant that everything Seiji had been telling him... was an outright lie but he wasn’t going to let her know that. “Wow Suzume, that’s one hell of a vivid imagination you have there! They’re called ‘wet dreams’ baby... I’ve had a few in the past myself!” He started laughing when she stomped her foot and turned her back on him. “I know Seiji and I know he would rather screw a donut hole then fuck you.” He laughed harder at her.

“You bastard!” She picked up a book that was lying on a table and threw it at him but Touma was able to duck out of it’s way and it smacked into the wall before landing on the floor.

“Nya Nya! You missed me! Now ya gotta ki... Uh never mind that. I’d sooner kiss a dog’s ass then your face. Wait! I do believe that they are one in the same!” He began to laugh again and kept pointing at her as he did so. “Oh I crack myself up, Your face... A dog’s ass... That’s just too much.” He wiped at the tears that lay in his eyes from laughing so hard.

“Don’t you laugh at me! Don’t you ever laugh at me!” Suzume’s eyes darkened and she came at him. Touma didn’t want to risk hurting the baby, after all he or she wasn’t responsible for her actions, so he did his best to simply guard his body from the punches that flew at him. “You dirty rotten, filthy pig!” She slammed her fists as hard as she could into him though she wasn’t making much contact as he effectively blocked each one.

Looking down she caught sight of the stuffed animal and remembered the reaction she had gotten the last time she handled it. Picking it up she quickly backed away from the bed. “Now let’s see who laughs.” She said as she yanked the tail off of the animal.

“NOOOO!” Touma cried out and his body started shaking. “You bitch give it back!”

“Awww did I hurt the pretty kitty?” She laughed now. “Let’s see how you like this...” Grabbing the knife off of the tray she stabbed it into the body of the animal. Watching, she saw Touma’s eyes go wild and the tears began to flow steadily from them. “What’s wrong Touma-san? Don’t like to see your kitty being hurt? You did it though... You killed your own pet! You’re despicable! You should be ashamed of yourself for doing that to something you supposedly loved.”

“No! Big Touma didn’t mean it... He loved Orion!” Little Touma said. “Please don’t hurt our kitty?” He pleaded with her.

“What a shame... I’m heartbroken!” She said and began slicing into the stuffed animal. Touma watched in horror as she began to shred it up. His anger grew and before he knew what was happening he leapt off the bed in a blind rage and charged at her but his legs felt like rubber and the room began spinning. “Oh I see your medication is kicking in, I gave you an extra dosage since you slept through this morning’s dosage.” She smirked as she was easily able to side step his attack and he fell to his knees.

Touma started cursing at her in English and she laughed as his words started to slur. “You bitchin’ whore, I’ll get you for this! I’ll make you fucking pay for what you have done. I’ll... I’ll KILL YOU!” He shouted and tried to stand up again only to collapse back to the floor.

“Yeah... Right! The only things you can kill are innocent animals!” She laughed and flung the shredded remains of his stuffed animal at him. “Now to make this more convincing” She said as she began overturning furniture and throwing things onto the floor.

Touma watched in horror and realized then that she was setting him up for something. “Just what the fuck are you planning, Bitch?”

“Oh you’ll know soon enough my Touma-san. Let’s just say that I will finally have you out of my life and that Seiji will never forgive you for this one!” She laughed some more. “Excuse me, but I have to make a quick phone call.”

Touma could feel the medication hitting him as it blurred his vision and clouded his mind. He tried to send a mental message to one of the guys but couldn’t hold his concentration long enough. He watched as Suzume pulled out a cell phone from her pocket and dialed a number.

“Oh my GOD Help me! A friend of my husbands is attacking me! Please help me! He’s crazy!” She shouted into the phone. “I’m pregnant and I’m so scared he’ll hurt my baby! Please hurry!” She gave the address as she faked sobs over the phone. “Yes he has... He... He slashed my arms.” She sobbed some more. “Oh no he’s getting up! He’s got me trapped in this room! HELP! OH God please Touma! Don’t hurt my baby! Don’t hurt my Baby!” Suzume took the cell phone and threw it against the wall and watched as it broke into several pieces and landed on the floor.

“YOU! YOU! BITCH!!” Touma shouted, shocked by what was happening. “Seiji will find out the truth, he’s not that easily deceived... You’ll regret this Suzume... Mark my words... You’ll wish you had never met Seiji once he find out what you have done.” He shouted at her as tears fell from his eyes. He was totally helpless lying on the floor. The meds had made his legs too weak to lift him and he began trembling.

“You baka, when he sees this he’ll believe me.” She said and took the knife, gritting her teeth she made several cuts to the back of her forearms so it appeared that she was slashed as she covered her body. “Now pray tell what proof do you have that I did anything to you?” She laughed then walked over and kicked him between the legs causing Touma to scream out in pain. “Aww did I hurt poor Touma-san’s family jewels?”

She could hear the sirens off in the distance and quickly threw a few more things onto the floor before reaching up to tear her shirt slightly and then muse up her hair. “It’s show time Touma!” She laughed as she squeezed at the cuts to drip blood around the room and onto her clothes. “Oh this is gonna be good.”

“You bitch... You fucking conniving bitch!” Touma said through tiny gasps of air. He felt like his balls were on fire and he curled himself up tighter as he cried. “You hurt big Touma... He doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either! You’re a mean lady!” The child Touma had come out. “You hurt my pee pee, I’m telling Seiji on you!”

“Go ahead see if I care. You won’t be here when he gets home, that’s for sure.” Suzume heard banging at the door. “Oops gotta finish my act.” She smiled and ran from the room screaming.

Touma laid there praying for a miracle. “Maybe Seiji’s dad will be the one to show up?” He whispered in his child-like voice.

“No he’s with the rest of the family at the tournament.” The real Touma answered.

“What’ll we do then?” Child Touma asked as he began to cry.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Real Touma said and closed his eyes. He could hear voices and knew that they would come for him any minute now.

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Suzume watched as they drug Touma out of the house, he was screaming in his child voice for help, and when he caught sight of Suzume he began to thrash around. They had placed a straight jacket on him and now he fought against it.

“You bitch! I’ll make you pay! I’ll kill you for this... I swear to god I’ll kill you!” The real Touma screamed at her and an orderly of sorts injected something into him right through the jacket. Touma could feel it taking affect almost immediately and he began to cry.

“Help me Seiji... Please? You promised no more pain... Please don’t let them hurt me.” He said as darkness began to surround him pulling him deeper into its depths. “I don’t want to be alone anymore... I don’t want any more pain... OH GOD DON’T LET ME GO THROUGH THIS!” His tears fell as he felt himself being placed onto the floor of a vehicle. “SEIJI!!” He shouted right before he slipped into total darkness.

Suzume reassured the police officers that she was okay but asked one of them to phone the hospital and tell her husband what had happened. Excusing herself to go to the bathroom she smiled wickedly. “I told you Touma. Finally I will have Seiji all to myself and once he sees what you have done... I seriously doubt he’ll ever want to try and get you back. Guess I won the game!” She laughed to herself as she stood in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror she looked at the woman grinning back at her. “You’ve come a long way girl. You’re not that sweet shy and innocent girl that Seiji first met, but... we can become that once again just to please our koibito.”

She walked out of the bathroom smiling. “Well time for act two...”

End of Chapter 9

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AUTHORS NOTES: Oh my! Is there just no end to my evilness? Poor Touma-san! I love him to pieces and look what I put him through! Okay if you want me to continue this you’ll have to tell me! I’ve been curious as to how many people are actually reading this monstrosity... so please drop me a line and let me know and also if you could... What site you read this on. Here’s a question for all of you... Should I kill off Suzume or leave her so she can wreck more havoc on the lives of our favorite dynamic duo?

(1) Black eyes, Blue Tears is a song title from Shania Twain’s CD “Come on Over”.

[2] Lyrics belong to Alice Cooper and are taken from the CD “Welcome to My Nightmare”.